Is it worth it?

unsurefamily · 2022-07-27T22:39:43+00:00

As the child of parents in a loveless, trustless marriage I would have loved them to have divorced.

Think about it this way, you're showing them that sometimes the mature thing is to go your seperate ways when things are so irrevocably broken. By divorcing and coparenting with intent and decency you can model loving behavior for them.

Believe me, it will do them far more damage for you to remain this way.

ETA: your wife (and you) deserve to be in a healthy, trusting relationship. Give her the gift of freedom from suspicion.

TheTiredNotification · 2022-07-29T01:27:03+00:00

I didn't see you mention if you'd already tired this but is she open to couples therapy? They can help you guys either figure out what it would take to reconcile that trust or help determine that it isn't reconcilable and how to deal with that and maybe make the terrible process a little easier for both of you.

Ok-Weakness6643 · 2022-07-31T09:18:16+00:00

I feel your pain. I am in the same situation currently. I cheated on my wife… and actually broke down and told her. It has been tough and we didn’t do counseling. However have you considered if your love between both is unconditional? I’m not talking about the in love with you stage. Disregard living or being with each other for a moment. If you guys truly love each other and are really good friends then now consider if you have things latching on to you that leads to lack of trust. In my example in the root of my problem was porn before being with my wife I would watch porn being single and this lead to a false sense of sexual desire; lust for other woman. I don’t know your situation in detail but take my situation as an example. Fast forward social media became a problem too with explorer being a lot of models or women obviously after the cheating my wife was hurt and these small little things remind them of what we or in this case I’ve done.

It hurts. I’m selfish i justified my actions on little petty things that crushed her heart.

Analyze what are the things in your life that are holding back your marriage only you know what happens in your heart and what goes through your mind.

Now physical; be there more movies? Walk to the park? Church? Do things she likes even though you may feel tired depressed or sad it will make you feel better after forcing yourself to go.

Find a babysitter don’t give up until you feel you’re done than you won’t need Reddit for answers. Cut off social media, porn and even friends that can egg you on.

There is no point of divorcing if you’ll always be in each other’s life and what’s the point of changing for the better if you can’t do it for your kids or your wife.

Unless of course you both hate each other or no longer love each other unconditionally.

A lot of the issues we as men have stem from our childhood. Find the problem and only til you’re truly tired of your life will you make the change. I’m an addict to sex and porn and I tend to relapse on my porn addiction because one quick look doesn’t hurt right?

My parents divorced when we were older and mature to understand that divorce was the right move for them. HOWEVER they DID NOT love each other. They stayed together to give us parents however it was worse as a child I wouldn’t have wanted my parents to split they weren’t always arguing and your life may be different so I wouldn’t be so quick to say it’s better than trying to make things work. If she’s not the women you can see yourself with growing old. Than yea give yourself the freedom of being young quick

That’s the main problem especially when you have kids young you feel you could’ve been with more women or could’ve done more parties and now that you have sex more frequently we as men want more. I understand this may not be an answer but maybe it would provide you some clarity and self reflection.

unsurefamily · 2022-07-28T00:15:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

jnkboy64 · 2022-07-30T19:46:02+00:00

The kids know everything. Get a divorce and make everyone happier. Staying is not a favor to the kids and will just damage them more

Title	Is it worth it?
Author	unsurefamily
Upvotes	5
Comments	26
Date	July 27, 2022 10:35 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/w9s7ud/is_it_worth_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/is-it-worth-it.1125464 https://theredarchive.com/post/1125464

Comments