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vcreativ Archive

View 0 posts and 828 comments by vcreativ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Ultimately it's up to you when to let go exactly or why. Or to see if you can work to some semblance of what you think you would've liked. But truthfully, this doesn't seem a dream worth having. Not that that helps. Just about anyone will regret certain life choices or happenstances definitely including the promiscuous. The privilege is that we only ever get to fantasise and idolise that which we did not experience. Managing regret and wonder what would've been appears to be a large part of mana…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 08:07 PM
3

It's more about them being able to make experience which I wish I had made. What exactly bothers you about it? But I am still dreaming about living my promiscuous phase. If that's important to you, then what's the limiter do you think?
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 07:56 PM
6

Jealousy always points at a bigger issue. Usually lack of perceived self-worth. Is that the case? If so, it's all about working through the pain and understanding the why. As an aside, is it possible for you to try out a measure(!) of hedonism today? Or are you saying that the previously "easy to get" ladies view you "only" as "boyfriend-material"? Again. Seems like a non-problem. Since you can just say no.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 07:46 PM
2

It's too simplistic a model to encompass reality. It's designed to generate a triggered following, not to be true. And the people proclaiming it are precisely the people I wouldn't ever take advice from, lol. On anything. Not even on how to make money online.
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 06:56 PM
5

Strictly speaking, you don't have to. Respect them as people and don't treat them any less in the day to day. But there are perfectly reasonable viewpoints based on which any promiscuous individual isn't exactly prime partner material. Promiscuity can certainly indicate hedonistic tendencies, emotional volatility and deregulation. And/or extreme insecurity. Risk-seeking behaviour. From what I understand there's also a correlation with substance abuse. Most importantly my fear would be their bond…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 06:47 PM
3

Sexism is a type of generalising behaviour based on sex. No matter who it's committed by and whom it's committed to. It's a perfectly egalitarian concept. Your question is why some grifters are more extreme than others and why that has you worried. My response is that that doesn't matter and you should stop watching their content and start living life instead.
/r/ExRedPill20/10/23 10:14 AM
7

Step one ask for help: Done. +1 Noice! But don't stop when you're tired, stop when you're done. Todos: - Get off social media. Stop watching any of that "content". You're poisoning yourself. That is a you decision. Make it, but realise that you're breaking yourself. - Work through your own pain, learn to understand what you need and why. Get a therapist to help you if you can. It's really worth it. - Build yourself emotionally. Sounds kind of soft, but it's way more hard-core than anything the g…
/r/ExRedPill20/10/23 10:02 AM
10

That's an excellent example of confirmation bias. They post here precisely because things are going wrong. You never hear from all the other lot. Because they likely don't even know what RP is. It's a bit like WWII bombers being analysed for bullet holes after bombing runs. Turns out they should armor the wings more. But somehow no one ever shot the cockpit. It's a reasonable conclusion based on the evidence provided, but without context it's all up in the air. Welcome to the echo chamber.
/r/ExRedPill20/10/23 08:35 AM
10

I get what you're saying. But I'd literally never go for anyone else. What on earth do I want in a relationship with someone that requires me to emotionally stunt myself. It's beyond turn-off, that's self-harm. And yes, alternatives exist. Thing is, to talk about crying not crying as if it's a binary issue just isn't useful since it includes anything from the most emotionally deregulated man (whom no one really would like to have around - not just women) and a Stoic with a single tear in his eye…
/r/ExRedPill19/10/23 08:53 PM
2

Maybe this is a culture thing. But I'm not at all under the impression that this is a thing. From my perspective I can express all the emotions I like, I wouldn't want to limited by outside factors. That Gladiator scene: "Who will help me carry him?" That gets me, because it's moving. What exactly is our value if we lack the ability to have our heart moved?
/r/ExRedPill19/10/23 08:34 PM
9

All kinds of people exist so why shouldn't there be women that can't process emotions of men properly? They likely grew up with a father that couldn't express emotions. The question isn't really if this can't possibly be true, but rather if you'd ever want to stay in such a relationship. I wouldn't want to. I'd be hella out of there.
/r/ExRedPill19/10/23 08:29 PM
1

Nothing really, it's just that not every upsetting statement is the truth. "The Ministry of Peace concerns itself with war, the Ministry of Truth with lies, the Ministry of Love with torture and the Ministry of Plenty with starvation. These contradictions are not accidental, nor do they result from ordinary hypocrisy: they are deliberate exercises in doublethink. — Part II, Chapter IX" Don't be fooled by words, take a closer look.
/r/ExRedPill19/10/23 08:25 PM
1

I'm sorry you feel that way.
/r/ExRedPill19/10/23 08:21 PM
1

Hey, thanks for your response. :) because its taught me to be resilient Developmental outcome reigns supreme. Though numbing and resilience feel similar in many situations. So they get confused quite a lot. A relationship is not as straight forward as keep trying=good result It's an extremely individual experience. And in my mind any actually useful relationship is based on an exceedingly good relationship with your self. Start there. but it feels like I like the way you approach these things a …
/r/ExRedPill19/10/23 04:13 PM
1

Mental health trumps "relationship".
/r/ExRedPill19/10/23 03:38 PM
2

We usually pick what we're familiar with, no matter how toxic, unless we begin to own our self. So ask yourself if you're familiar with the idea of trying the best you could be but somehow not being good enough. but by God do I not want to give my heart to someone who doesn't deserve it again either Your heart isn't yours to give away anyway. It's yours to keep and carry. There's a real difference between opening up to someone and putting the weight of your entire emotional world on their should…
/r/ExRedPill18/10/23 04:53 PM
19

I do everything i can to be perfect Don't. And certainly not by someone else's standard. Aim to be virtuous, that's more anyone can expect. I feel like he wants me to see him liking this stuff for some reason. Maybe he does. That would be quite manipulative. But even if he doesn't you should break up. He's making his toxicity more than evident. It’s causing me so much anxiety and hurt, idk why. Because it's implying that you aren't good enough and that the relationship is purely conditional you …
/r/ExRedPill18/10/23 02:53 PM
9

Good news, that! It's difficult but you're clearly on a good path. It's not about not making mistakes, it's about noticing that you might be making one and being able to change that while you're in that mindset is an impressive feat. It's brave to raise it with your therapist. Keep going. Best of luck.
/r/ExRedPill18/10/23 09:44 AM
9

Ok. Well first of stop consuming any such content. If you can't and/or don't that's an implicit choice you're making. It will affect the rest of your life. Do make that choice, but don't blame anyone else. Then apologise to each and every single one of them. Some might come back. But it really depends on what happened. You need to better understand your pain and address it before you can be open for meaningful friendships. I personally don't get the whole attention thing. I've always felt it's a…
/r/ExRedPill17/10/23 10:14 AM
1

Let me turn this around. If someone likes you or is curious about you and they are an acceptable choice for you. They'll always accept a coffee date with you. Just bear in mind that some people are very shy and may take more time to get to know you and feel comfortable around you to open up or agree to a date in the first place. It's not always a rejection.
/r/ExRedPill17/10/23 10:02 AM
1

Honestly, it has to work for you. The end. There are some definite red-flags for people, nobody argues otherwise. But really it's up to you. I rarely give specific advice, but it really helped me to not worry about what dysfunctional people do, decide, or consider in any which way, scenario, or context. All the best.
/r/ExRedPill10/10/23 09:16 AM
2

These men are all weaponising their insecurity instead of growing. And then they only ever talk to men that think the same, since any reasonable person wouldn't want to be anywhere near them. They think they're strong, but it's pathetic. Your husband sounds like a narcissist. It's a more technical term for what I mean. He's completely devaluing you. And your children. Just in that last paragraph alone. Being alone isn't all that terrifying depending on the company you otherwise kept. This for su…
/r/ExRedPill09/10/23 05:36 PM
6

It's a decision you need to take for yourself, I'm afraid. It's not necessarily about how the world is, it's always a choice to become bitter about it. Issue is, that just makes everything worse for you. The key thing to do is to fill your own heart with ... well love ... love that doesn't require external input or validation and develop a perspective that looks at people empathetically. They know not what they do because they don't know love. It's a tragedy, really. No one is really cheat proof…
/r/ExRedPill04/10/23 10:35 AM
1

So it's true on a shallow level. A blank canvas leaves people more easily manipulatable to project their fantasies onto you. Knowing someone well means you're arriving at a far more specific check for compatibility. Which is both more meaningful and rarer. So it's about what people are looking for. If you're looking for something real, don't worry about Ms Fane. She's providing "advice" more targeted at getting only sex. The notion that knowing someone well destroys attraction is absurd. The que…
/r/ExRedPill03/10/23 01:06 PM
1

I mean. Probably. Likely. Kind of.
/r/ExRedPill03/10/23 12:54 PM
2

I don't think that's a particularly controversial viewpoint at all. When we speak about "worth" we must ask the question "relative to whom?" In general every person has worth, but not necessarily everyone to everyone else. So it's kind of up to you who has how much worth. But don't miss the wood for the trees. Emotional development is a very long winded process that requires significant effort. And it doesn't exactly overlap with short term pleasure seeking behaviour. The issue isn't about what'…
/r/ExRedPill01/10/23 02:04 PM
3

Very compressed: It's about self-worth. Atm there's a vacuum where that's supposed to be. You're grinding yourself to the ground expecting that anything external can give you what should be there in the beginning. So it's bound to fail. Self work is the issue.
/r/ExRedPill01/10/23 01:01 PM
1

I'm a bit late to the party, but this is a good post, so maybe someone still reads this. :) Many words. Worth it though if you're trying to get better. One of the key things to realise about life is that to a large degree your perception of the world molds itself to your expectation of it. It's a bit of a catch-22. You will see what you're expecting to see not because it's good or bad for you, but rather because your brain is looking for what you already feel ought to be true. You survived so fa…
/r/ExRedPill30/09/23 11:05 AM
1

probably people in real life think I’m a a cringey person. That's a negative self view. You should understand why you feel that way and aim to resolve the underlying issue. It doesn't aid you, it poisons you and your perception of reality. And then it brings you to reddit looking for simplistic answers to highly complex questions. No good can come from that. ;) Yes, people are attracted to attractive people. It's a truism. No surprises here. The issue is not with this particular statement, but r…
/r/ExRedPill27/09/23 11:05 AM
2

Nobody is safe from being cheated on. And the cheaters aren't all terrible people. Some undoubtedly are, but life - a lot of the time - is kind of complex. Don't expect people at uni to be emotionally stable. What we should be doing is to build out our own emotional stability, integrity, and self-sustainability before we enter into any sort of arrangement. I've seen plenty of people that I used to envy, because they "got dates". But even just five years later they look tired and are numbed and k…
/r/ExRedPill27/09/23 09:52 AM
1

Some people are kinda dumb. It's kind of that simple. I'm all for people looking for their own preferences - and if that's an "alpha male", that's cool. It just becomes weird when they try to get others in their boat. Then everyone that is trying to not be kinda dumb should ask themselves why that is. If you see no product, you are the product.
/r/ExRedPill21/09/23 08:25 AM
1

Short answer. It's up to you, but some things you can't take back. What you're longing for is intimacy. I don't know you're sexual experience, but it's not exactly equivalent to intimacy. So paying for sex is far more likely to put you deeper into the hole you're already in by adding regret. Longer, but worth it: You can be intimate without even touching someone. Mostly people are looking for a sense of belonging but are putting too much pressure on a person they don't even know yet. Attraction …
/r/ExRedPill18/09/23 10:24 AM
2

People don't get magically more confident just because super attractive person showed up. It's more or less the opposite. For the most part they'll try to find a box in their mind within which they fit and then act based on experience. People are confident in interactions they (more or less) have experienced before. Slight differences may be cognitively mediated based on perceived risk/payoff. Meaning if someone shows up that's too far out of their comfort zone by far the most likely outcome is …
/r/ExRedPill15/09/23 02:40 PM
2

It's real and not at the same time. People aren't all the same. It depends on who you're talking about. Specifically. If you're talking about an emotionally immature person they may well feel attracted to people who aren't emotionally available. This can be for a number of reasons. So I have this fear that if you do all this “good stuff” for your SO (giving flowers, romantic dates, hell even committing, etc.) that they will leave you for someone else. You're describing actions, not love. And if …
/r/ExRedPill15/09/23 01:05 PM
1

Looking for truth is about as old as time. That's a commendable direction to take. Always as been. RP contains some truth (with intent) and that's where people get confused. A kernel of truth doesn't make the entire thing true. The people they get annoyed at exist. But RP then over-generalises and deliberately reaches convenient conclusions. It's really quite easy to distinguish an ideologue from a truth seeker. The latter will always be interested in reasonable evidence to the contrary of what …
/r/ExRedPill10/09/23 07:10 PM
8

That's a very important realisation. It's critical to step away over time from a habit to understand the effects it has on you. Perspective is a very powerful tool that quite literally shapes your reality. So don't wear rose tinted glasses, but no need for the doom and gloom filter either. People are both terrible and not at the same time. It depends on how you look at it all in context.
/r/ExRedPill10/09/23 12:20 PM
11

Get a new best friend. I don't want to call anyone bad things. But it's ironic to me (not true irony, I know ;) ) that she'd be calling anyone else "trash". I realise that you're unlikely to drop her, just realise that therefore everything than happens to you is the result of a choice you made. There are two important principles in regards to social dynamics to understand here: - (1) How you treat others determines who will stick around. - (2) The current company you keep determines future compa…
/r/ExRedPill10/09/23 12:14 PM
5

I think "unwanted" sexual thoughts are pretty normal tbh. Especially as you grow up. There might be a too much there somewhere, but a ton of it is just normal. So as per default I wouldn't worry about it. Therapist is a good idea, though no magical pill. If you're willing to work as to why you thought it reasonable to view half the population as lesser than you, great. Though that will hurt, it is the right way. Do I tell any new friends I make men, women if at all my past/what I’m going through…
/r/ExRedPill07/09/23 01:14 PM
1

Should I get him to try to see the light or just end things? It's not an attack, certainly nothing personal, he's just teaching you to submit to him. ;) If foreign women treat men like him better, I think it's reasonable to assume he'd be better off with one of them.
/r/ExRedPill06/09/23 03:59 PM
7

If someone is giving you this many red flags, then the stat isn't the issue, the guy is. Don't think for a second that this particular barrel has a bottom. It'll only get worse. And in ways you can't even imagine. Also, you should really think about what love means to you. It's a real issue in discussions in general, but especially online, because people use words thinking they mean the same thing to everyone. The don't. I may not know many things, but I know that if you're willing to sacrifice …
/r/ExRedPill29/08/23 11:18 AM
6

I think it's more helpful to think about this in absolute terms. In the sense that, you can be happy you realised the value in these words at all. Depending on where you came from emotionally and that you clearly felt differently about it before, that's a rather massive feat. These things are notoriously difficult and everyone knows it. So, you know. Be proud of yourself is what I'm saying.
/r/ExRedPill29/08/23 11:12 AM
2

The earlier you leave the more intact your sense will be when you do. The later, the more traumatic the experience. It's that simple. You can't help or fix either of them. Don't compete, don't play, just leave. Listen to your friends. Only bad things await you if you stay. Codependence and love can feel seductively similar from within. It's just that the former will for sure get you into hell's kitchen. The latter only might. All the best.
/r/ExRedPill29/08/23 11:07 AM
1

I appreciate that the way others view us may well have an impact on how we view us. But I found it quite helpful to make value of judgement made by an other dependent on their value. Which in this case is really rather quite low, since, as you say the movement is misogynistic and dehumanises women. It's a bit like being called stupid by an idiot. I could be upset, or just not. Hope this helps.
/r/ExRedPill21/08/23 12:47 PM
1

and feel horrible that im alive since im a woman. i know right? i feel horrible that im a 28 year old woman. i genuinely feel horrible that im not younger. Why?
/r/ExRedPill21/08/23 10:10 AM
3

Maybe drop that particular "friend". She did everything right, lol. The only mistake she made was to ever consider him.
/r/ExRedPill15/08/23 10:08 AM
2

Even without the RP stuff I'm wondering why you are in that relationship. His only redeeming quality as far as you are concerned appears to be his looks, which you pointed out. I guess we all have our priorities, but you haven't had a single meaningful and good thing to say about the guy. Assuming a willing and able individual, significant change of character can easily take in excess of five years. More like ten. Even longer if childhood trauma is a part of it. Healing can easily become a lifel…
/r/ExRedPill10/08/23 11:05 PM
2

I felt safe because I found sweet stuff that painted him in a great light and confirmed in my mind what a great man he is. But he's also "extremely misogynistic? I'm not trying to be annoying or anything. :) People use anonymity in different ways. The deeper you get into emotional work the more difficult it becomes to pinpoint "the single" honest opinion about something. Especially if there's trauma involved there'll likely be an entire array of conflicting viewpoints on any topic remotely close…
/r/ExRedPill07/08/23 06:40 AM
2

I found out the stuff he posted before we were together and it broke my heart. An aside: I realise that people are quite used to talking about "broken hearts". But the integrity of our hearts is only within our own sphere of influence. That doesn't mean things can't deeply hurt. They do, but hearts are only able to break if they were brittle before the fact. Which is an us problem. It was anonymously no less, which makes me think he wasn’t just being edgy on the internet and rather that’s how he…
/r/ExRedPill06/08/23 12:06 PM
3

Our subconscious attaches to expressions of that which we are missing in ourselves. The reason you're remembering her so much, even ten years later, is because the core issue remains unaddressed. You won't need to forget her once you integrated that which she represented: Honest emotional expression. You get to be happy remembering her, but you need to understand her for what she is. A reminder of what you can be, too. And that's the bit you're yearning for. Luckily, that's all within your contr…
/r/ExRedPill06/08/23 11:43 AM
4

TL;DR: it's true enough. "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." This is not about men being able to change. It's "are individuals capable of change". The answer is yes, we change all the time, but consciously and productively, rarely. The problem with bad treatment of others isn't "just" the impact it has on you, but on a higher level the complete lack of meta-cognitive/reflective abililty and capacity it demonstrates. Bad treatment of others is a *choice" that highlights how …
/r/ExRedPill30/07/23 01:38 PM
3

The problem is your own value. Go work on yourself first. By implication this means that anyone who's been stood up on a date should now use a literal non-event as a basis to judge their own lack of value by based on an other who quite literally might not have it together at all. That's not a way to a stable personality. A far better way to judge your value by is to take a good hard look at the people around you - that know you well - and ask yourself if they are good people. Because good people…
/r/ExRedPill30/07/23 09:24 AM
1

In a way, perspectives can be chosen. But in order to sustainably get there and not "faking it til you make it" (which isn't useful advice) you need to work on your insecurities first by analysis (what hurts and why), then by understanding the underlying pain (why is this even an issue), and then re-aligning your view of yourself and the world in a more accurate way. Iterate through that process a few times and you'll build up an ever more accurate view of yourself and any obstacles you might fa…
/r/ExRedPill29/07/23 07:29 PM
2

You need to get off the internet. It's not healthy. Reality is quite different. Anyone on the internet and consuming it the way that you are is opening themselves up to be manipulated in quite significant ways by any outside party willing to produce online content... many exist. Women are mostly fine. As are men. It's the loudest that tend to have the least valuable views to share. And they abound on the internet. The way to get off the internet is to move meaning into your own life. Building so…
/r/ExRedPill29/07/23 07:23 PM
2

Consistency of reasonability on this and/or any related issue over time. That's at least a year. Anyone can pretend for a few months. That's my take, at least. All the best.
/r/ExRedPill28/07/23 06:10 PM
1

I must admit, I've never really thought about it. Most women are pretty normal tbh. Nobody will fire you for being a boring introvert in software... lol. Imagine who they'd hire. And frankly, so long as you don't cross any boundaries, women don't actually have to like you. And some won't, for no good reason at all. And that's totally fine. Be nice, be respectful, say please and thank you. Don't pedestal anyone. Ideally that's how you treat anyone you meet. That doesn't mean people including wome…
/r/ExRedPill28/07/23 01:25 PM
0

Ok, up to you I guess. All the best.
/r/ExRedPill24/07/23 09:37 AM
2

or causes them harm I actually think it does cause significant psychological and financial harm. It's playing with feelings of the most emotionally desperate people you could find. It's just that you never hear from the guys that got so obsessed with these ladies that they had their house repossessed. And yeah, I think their kids are going to have issues, too. I wouldn't want to try it out just to find out if it's true or not. Seems a tad irresponsible. That's the usual argument isn't it? It has…
/r/ExRedPill24/07/23 08:01 AM
0

Masculinity isn't about sex or materials. It's a state of being. It's focused around virtues and or a willingness to accept suffering when necessary. It's about character, not about hedonism or risking your life arbitrarily. What you're describing here is more of a fever dream of someone that has no real bearing in life and does all the things he feels might finally give him self-worth (at least in the eyes of others) and maybe, hopefully, let him forget his pain. I did a quick google search, an…
/r/ExRedPill24/07/23 07:43 AM
2

Not entirely true. Your personality is expressed through your habits, too. And being fit and healthy is a much better habit to show off than the exact opposite. Also being fit generally just works for people, just don't mistake attraction for feelings, they're not the same thing. You should always value others, in general don't lie, because it'll corrupt your character. Same for playing. It hurts others a bit, but it'll wreck you as well as your potential for an actually good partner - they'll s…
/r/ExRedPill22/07/23 09:31 PM
1

i miss the feeling i had of being loved. It felt so un real like a dream that i keep getting reminded of. I'll let you in on a secret. What you describe should be normal. Most love for us should come from within. So if we happen to have someone around shouldn't matter that much. Genuine friends matter. Relationships comparatively little. The self matters most. So get shipping. Edit: Love is an ability. We learn it through learning to love ourselves, and we learn that through shadow work, that is…
/r/ExRedPill22/07/23 09:11 PM
2

Disagreeing isn't synonymous with being dumb. It's the reasoning and context of opinions held that provides meaning. You'd be surprised at what sort of conclusions you might end up at depending on circumstance and experience. That being said, a counsellor shouldn't share these sorts of views with you. Overall I think counseling / therapy is a joke. genuinely try solving them on your own. It's perfectly reasonable to share your experiences, but I'd be careful with turning your subjective experien…
/r/ExRedPill22/07/23 08:10 PM
1

Ultimately you cannot possibly know who cheats or why. It's a perfectly acceptable preference to be turned off by people that have too interesting a history. I wouldn't worry about it too much unless you have someone in front of you you actually emotionally connect with. It's all quite abstract until that happens. I just don't want to be played and hurt like that. Sure, but it's also difficult to avoid at times. Even good people change. As do good relationships. Every once in a while take off th…
/r/ExRedPill20/07/23 10:54 AM
1

You can't save someone from themselves. But you might be able to help him develop the tools he needs to, to save himself. Currently, you're approaching the problem logically. And I realise that RP spends a lot of time and effort to make itself seem logical. But they're playing pretense. It's an emotional issue. So that's how it needs to be addressed. Pain, negative emotions, fears of abandonment. The reason you're getting frustrated is because you're hitting the ideology where it's impenetrable.…
/r/ExRedPill19/07/23 01:40 PM
2

I think you're on the right track tbh. It's a simplifying frame of reference for a super chaotic topic. It's attractive in that way. It just goes off the rails pretty immediately. And it doesn't make anyone any happier. Don't take it personally. Most people aren't secure enough in themselves to argue with opposing viewpoints.
/r/ExRedPill19/07/23 01:08 PM
1

If you consider doing any of these things you definitely neither like or love the other person.
/r/ExRedPill19/07/23 01:05 PM
1

TL;DR no. It's your decision. But don't decide in the hope that she'll like you more. At best she'll like the fact that you spent money on her and that you might be prepared to spend more on her over time. I am internally opposed to ever aiming to impress anyone. I prefer understatement. The person that I am looking for doesn't need convincing. In my eyes too many guys are insecure when it comes to splitting the bill. They're scared that the lady might look elsewhere. So let her. Unless you're p…
/r/ExRedPill19/07/23 12:56 PM
2

I even qualified the statement with broadly attracted. I can't argue on specifics. Haven't read the post, so I can't comment on the downvotes. But "broadly attracted" seems fair to me. More isn't always better and there are plenty of ways to get fit. Muscles aren't a replacement for character or mental health, though. Or emotional maturity and emotional availability. Buuut those aren't things you see. Which is where most of that fascination with bodies and muscles come from. It's trivially compr…
/r/ExRedPill18/07/23 09:52 AM
1

I like this post. Agreed, appreciated. and it’s comical that they think we can’t all see it. I think there are plenty of people that can't tbh. Which is fine. Because most people are simpler than they probably ought to be in their decision tree. It's pretty tragic. By avoiding feelings you'll build up an existentially irrelevant toolkit. You're going to get depressed for sure. You become what you do. Love is an ability. It doesn't just happen, you need to develop it. That can suck, but it'll alw…
/r/ExRedPill17/07/23 11:52 AM
5

These are just actions and behaviours. A man may cheat on his wife for all sorts of reasons. It's never great, but if he gets abused by his wife and after years feeling nothing meets someone that actually emotionally connects with him and lets him feel not like a failure all the time... he might be cheating should he end up having sex with her (or even just "emotionally" - whatever that means), but it's hardly "toxic masculinity". Not even toxic. It's just human. Context reigns supreme.
/r/ExRedPill14/07/23 02:02 PM
4

The key thing to understand is that for most ideologues their ideology is a result of negative emotion. They are literally thinking non-logically. So out-arguing them isn't clever. It's just a dud. It doesn't help. You have to meet them on their playing field, which is emotion. They're hurt. In some form (dark triad aside - different sort of dragon). Aim to understand, process, and resolve the underlying emotion. The ideology is just a neuroticism masking fear and pain. Once the the base emotion…
/r/ExRedPill14/07/23 12:21 PM
2

In principle, yes. For sure. There will be men and women that absolutely can form stable friendships (notably that's a mutual relationship, not a "friend-zone", which is one-sided). But it depends less on the gender and more on emotional maturity of the individuals involved. Lots of people will struggle being friends with someone they might have feelings for because their feelings to static and brittle. Feelings should be flexible and flow like water. They can adapt to all kinds of surroundings.…
/r/ExRedPill14/07/23 12:07 PM
7

In short. Yes. Change isn't even that hard once you get going. It's starting to change that's difficult. One of the key points here to understand is that you're vulnerable to these channels. I'd argue almost everyone is. So no worries. Negative information that somewhat relates to our subjective experience is like an opioid. Deeply addictive. So don't be ashamed if you are. It's designed to be like this. It'd be the equivalent of being hit by a bullet and being upset that you're hurt. It's suppo…
/r/ExRedPill13/07/23 02:57 PM
2

Things tend to turn out different than one would presuppose. Don't worry about things you can't control. Just develop and acquire wisdom to understand what you might be able to control. And don't even worry about that, just see how you can act on it. Worry destroys your capacity to experiment for which you require a lack of fear. So, you know, don't worry. ;) From my own experience, something that almost everyone I meet is absolutely depraved of and hungry for is real world emotional contact. It…
/r/ExRedPill13/07/23 02:39 PM
3

It's more complicated than that. It's also important to extend the definition of happiness to the effect ignorance has on the person and on their character development over time. Ignorance may be bliss at the time, but never over time. Since not wishing or lacking the capability to see reality more objectively and one's own place in it cannot lead to productive character development. Since your (not "you", per se) internal sense of direction is all messed up. And when you allow for the subconsci…
/r/ExRedPill12/07/23 10:33 AM
11

It's a perspective thing. Most people overrate subjective experience over objective reality. That's one of the reasons why online content consumption is so dangerous for the self. Most people do the same thing over and over again. It's cognitively way easier to blame others than to wonder if maybe there are some issues one should work through on their own side. Things like insecure attachment styles for example. It takes most people ages to figure this out. And honestly, a ton of them never do.
/r/ExRedPill11/07/23 01:55 PM
1

I've been working out, eating clean, socialising more and taking my life more seriously as a whole. All really good. They won't necessarily "fix" anything, but get you in a much more stable place in order to address any underlying issues. It'd obviously help for me to be shredded and rich when finding someone Thing is, both of these things are comparatively easily replaceable, and so are you if that's the reason why someone picked you. It's quantity over quality. but it would help much more if I…
/r/ExRedPill11/07/23 01:44 PM
3

So you say you weren't RP and so you don't belong here. Then you allude to everyone on here "hating on RP". And that's not necessary for you, because you learnt to be in the center after highschool. Ok, good for you. But then in the very last sentence you thank this sub for helping you reach the center again. I am now confused. P.S.: I should add, criticism, even badly delivered criticism, isn't hate. Hate is something entirely different.
/r/ExRedPill11/07/23 09:37 AM
1

Yes. They do keep saying that. It's one of the catch-phrases they have across channels. Often repeated catch-phrases are highly effective at convincing suggestible individuals. They don't really work on a critical (!= intelligent) thinker. And yeah. There are definitely people with issues. It's just that the people talking on these podcasts and whatever else are usually not very bright, ideologically motivated, and/or emotionally underdeveloped/traumatised. So I wouldn't look to them for advice …
/r/ExRedPill11/07/23 09:28 AM
4

Not in general no. I think desire is normal. But when compared to desire, lust is kind of neurotic. Meaning it's a cover-up of your subconscious for a different need that the "you" isn't meeting, an over-projection of deeper issues onto something that's different, but close enough to allow for relative ease of cognitive dissonance. Sex can be an expression of a type of intimacy, but it isn't intimacy itself. By far most people crave emotional intimacy first and foremost, might they be unable to …
/r/ExRedPill09/07/23 11:38 AM
11

It's cynicism. Really quite ugly. I think there's a time to be alone in order to grow and heal from whatever might've happened during childhood, or even figuring out what might've happened there that wasn't so good. Then do the work to develop a secure attachment style. Then go and find a date you actually want to spend time with... you're basically 30 now, lol. I wonder if MGTOW couldn't be a result of "fake it til you make it" to a certain degree. That is, pretending that you're ready for a si…
/r/ExRedPill08/07/23 09:21 PM
3

No. Be the real and healthy you. But you first need to discover who that is. And that takes conscious effort over time. But then I think it’s dumb. Fair assessment. ;) It is dumb. It's a kind of victim mentality. Don't worry about how many people like/fancy you or for what reason, worry about who fancies you. Physicals play a role to a point, but character and virtues are what keep people worth their salt interested and around. If the ones you encounter are too many of the wrong type, then it ma…
/r/ExRedPill08/07/23 04:33 PM
1

Not to beat a possibly dead horse, but therapy sounds like a good idea. There are reasons why you were vulnerable to this person in the first place and it'll pay to find and resolve what those are. And as you talk through this and what happened in the last year you'll heal. But it'll take some time. Time on its own doesn't heal these wounds, though. It only heals that which you work on understanding and resolving. Journaling your feelings. Psychology podcasts (e.g. Dr Ramani has some excellent c…
/r/ExRedPill07/07/23 10:01 AM
2

Character isn't static. It's dynamic. And he was likely naive in that regard. Any decision you take today will form the basis of your character development tomorrow. So be real careful, every last little thing you do is of consequence to you. The more you aim at virtue, the better off you'll be.
/r/ExRedPill07/07/23 09:52 AM
1

Not really, no. It's power speech. It's a sign of the dark triad. It's a tragedy, really. What they are really saying is that they have little or no perception of ways of being outside of (supposed) dominance. They're emotionally underdeveloped. Nothing they have will ever satisfy them. How could it. And they'll select for partners that are compatible with their worldview. Meaning they're keeping themselves stuck in their own kind of hell. And they tend to leave chaos and destruction in their wa…
/r/ExRedPill06/07/23 09:00 PM
6

And I can't help but feel angry and jealous. Somewhat understandable, but perception of reality of the other from the outside is veeery difficult to assess accurately especially when allowing for consequences over significant time ranges. So it mustn't be used as the basis of negative feeling of the self. You are currently comparing apples and oranges. Women face different challenges. First of all, more options actually means less satisfaction. Those that are dating many people aren't doing it b…
/r/ExRedPill06/07/23 08:53 PM
1

In fact, it makes it so complicated that it becomes impossible. Which is the point of it all.
/r/ExRedPill02/07/23 04:38 PM
7

There's this Vee (Gary?) guy, some sort of "self-made" "business-guru" dude that charges I think two orders of magnitude more than that. And at the end of the discussion he might offer to invest that into the company. I don't understand what sort of level of wisdom people hope to acquire 15 minutes. Knowledge transfer never works. You need to discover your own lessons and then pass those.
/r/ExRedPill02/07/23 04:37 PM
1

I think I mostly agree. I'm not a fan of BB. He's basically just a guy that checked out. And I don't find him profound or wise. I also find that justification to be lacking a justification. A bad response to bad behaviour is still bad. and understanding red flags enough to avoid them. Unless you do the emotional work, that is working through the pains that lay the foundation of the "attraction" (which really is the wrong word), "understanding" red flags doesn't help, since it's a cognitive respo…
/r/ExRedPill02/07/23 04:33 PM
11

That's arguably the biggest case to be made against RP. They're not interested in a balanced discussion. It's true for many movements, come to think of it. Self-criticism doesn't exactly lend itself for a good war-cry: "To battle against those pesky others that probably also have a point - sometimes!!" Most of the stuff on here and in RP can be chalked up to people being way immature and not yet having done enough (or any) emotional work. They're quintessentially scared pretending to be dominant…
/r/ExRedPill30/06/23 08:00 AM
1

It's quite alright, but thanks for making an effort to show politeness. Criticism is necessary to ensure sharpness of thought. So, somewhat depending on delivery, it's always welcome. I don't think that is a passive approach to life. Rather it's a simple reality: I will not be able to control everything. Take the serenity prayer (used at least in AA), for example: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the differenc…
/r/ExRedPill30/06/23 07:47 AM
2

Most of depression is caused by social isolation. In simple terms, you need to find some real friends. The type you can talk to about your fears, and that stick around when you do. That should be the standard of what's considered a "friend". There's also Jordan Peterson's self authoring program which might be worth a try. Habits like meditation and sports may help you organise your thoughts, but they don't solve any of your problems. Friends is arguably the biggest one. try to at least do someth…
/r/ExRedPill27/06/23 11:15 AM
1

Online isn't real. I find it very curious to see who's "successful" and who isn't online. It's borderline random as far as I'm concerned. When actually considering my standards for what makes a man. In person, things are kind of similar though much less extreme. I'm still surprised as to who gets with whom and who exactly seems to be doing it on the regular. But we're only in control of the things that we do. So the Stoic in me shrugs at the weirdness of people picking people whom they must real…
/r/ExRedPill25/06/23 04:36 PM
2

Anyone can be helped. It depends on perspective and timelines. But I fear you might be equating the state of having been helped with having sex. That's outcome based thinking, which, whereas useful on occasion, ultimately is too simple a metric to measure something as complex as life in any meaningful way. Life isn't so much about outcome, it's more about perspective. Self-discovery is a road we can all choose to travel on at any moment in our lives. And as we discover who we are, we develop int…
/r/ExRedPill25/06/23 03:23 PM
1

I understand. Though the Stoic approach is to not worry about that which you cannot change. But rather focus on the things you can. That's you and the people willing to listen to you.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 01:44 PM
1

Fair. I realise it's annoying but don't be too hard on them. They cannot fathom it is all. It really says more about them than you. The best thing to do, tbh, is to find people in real life to talk to. Online the boundary to be a dick about it is too low. In real life even people that have trouble believing you will be acting more empathetically. Mainly because empathy is quite abstract via a text box and a lot more real face to face.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 01:20 PM
2

Personally, I wouldn't worry about it. The numbers are very opaque. And this is one of the times it makes more sense to think about your journey and talk to anyone who will listen. You also have to realise just how many people have access to youtube. A youtube view counter changes very little this way or the other. Only ever be impressed by numbers you can verify and put into perspective.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 01:16 PM
3

The steps you take today make the person you were by tomorrow. It goes two ways. Good or bad. You weren't being good, you get that, so there's little sense in banging on about it for me, though it pays to reflect. I think it makes sense to contact some of those people and atone or at least clear things up. Most of depression is caused by social isolation. That's always the first step. Find some friends to open up to about heavy things in real life. It'll be really difficult at first and it requi…
/r/ExRedPill22/06/23 01:12 PM
1

being a successful entrepreneur is the only way to be financially stable and to be seen as responsible, disciplined and intelligent. So aehm. Nope. It's all about critical thinking and vested interests. Their mission is to generate attention from suggestible people. A really good way to achieve this is to work with negative reinforcement. That's what you're feeling. Set up a business if you want. Have a 9-5 if you want. Don't limit yourself more than you have to but most importantly find somethi…
/r/ExRedPill22/05/23 10:59 AM
1

So long as you're safe this is good going. You remained calm and stood your ground. What over time you'll likely learn (if not indeed learnt already), is that he's weaker than you. He's very concerned as to being respected by you. And he's afraid to earn it, so he demands it, instead. Once you see it for what it is, it becomes clear just how underdeveloped his sense of self is. Aggression just acts as a smoke screen.
/r/ExRedPill17/05/23 01:57 PM
9

Negative emotions are hugely addictive. That's what you're feeling. If you know something isn't good for you, don't do it. It's kind of that simple. The overarching issue is this: even if you do end up dating through the RP, it'll simply embitter you. So the real decision isn't if you are going to think lesser of women than you think of men - in order to date them, but rather do you want to feel bitter about half the population or not. The cost of "success" here is so high that one wonders if it…
/r/ExRedPill15/05/23 10:52 AM
1

Yeah. They're a bit weird. But it's only hypocritical if one isn't bringing the same thing to the table. Which definitely isn't true for all men. I think most of the issue derives from pretending that men and women face identical situations. Which they just don't. That's neither good nor bad, it simply appears to be the reality. Who you pick is a highly individual question. I have also never celebrated anyone for their number of past sexual partners. My immediate question would be, what's wrong …
/r/ExRedPill11/05/23 02:32 PM
4

have about 3-4 girls lined up and I know are interested in me. Maybe the fact that you view them as "lined up" might be part of the problem, no? I’ve been talking to a few of them every day and I always keep the convos a funny and chill vibe but I’ve been responding to them hours apart and I’m pretty sure that if I keep at it, they’re gonna lose interest in me…. What's your plan? If I was to find myself in a "funny and chill" texting convo for too long, I, too, would be wondering what I'm doing …
/r/ExRedPill11/05/23 02:19 PM
21

I don't think it doesn't matter at all, but I'd view them as more downward limiters. And honestly, very much most people look kind of fine if you think about it. You can see all kinds of beauty in all kinds of faces if you're willing to look for it. Especially after getting to know a person the whole looks vs perceived attractiveness thing becomes quite more of a flexible and nuanced concept. I think if money and status matters to anyone in friendships, then it's not friends they're looking for.…
/r/ExRedPill11/05/23 01:57 PM
1

Exercise absolutely works. It just won't provide any long-term answers, which really is what your looking for. But it's immensely powerful at balancing out hormone levels for the day. Maybe just a few hours. But even that's worth it if you feel bad enough. Aside from that there are several habits that may significantly improve your day-to-day. Meditation, reading, good nutrition, sunlight (and/or vitamin D). All of these will be good for you, but none will provide solutions to the underlying pro…
/r/ExRedPill11/05/23 01:42 PM
1

Common sense can be impossible to see, depending on the lens view the world through. So you know. Is what it is, but if you can get out, and I think you can, do. I'm not even ideological about it, it's just not very helpful for the self. I’m quite confused how I got into that sub and let people tell me what I should and shouldn’t be doing. I imagine you were looking for direction. I think we all do sometimes. And at those times we'll be vulnerable. And still, this shouldn't keep us from asking f…
/r/ExRedPill11/04/23 08:01 PM
2

I think there's a difference between the people for whom it's technically true that they are involuntarily celibate and those that accept this particular label in a screw society sort of way. A self-described incel has a much bigger issue than not having sex. He's kind of turned bitter. Which just isn't necessary. I think it's weird if someone applies the label to themselves. I don't find the state of involuntary celibacy particularly embarrassing, though. It's a reality for some people. And it'…
/r/ExRedPill22/02/23 11:03 AM
0

RP doesn't have a monopoly on envy or bad behaviour. The label is also meaningless in this context. those people dont understand, that we only want eachother Ignorance correlates with diffuse suggestions. But their suggestions are very specific in reasoning, actions for you to take, and consequences utilising likely fears as motivator. That's not the language of ignorance. It has a far higher overlap with malice. Ignorance is ignorant of actions and consequence. Malice knows exactly what it want…
/r/ExRedPill21/02/23 06:48 PM
2

RP doesn't have a monopoly on envy or bad behaviour. The label is also meaningless in this context. those people dont understand, that we only want eachother Ignorance correlates with diffuse suggestions. But their suggestions are very specific in reasoning, actions for you to take, and consequences utilising likely fears as motivator. That's not the language of ignorance. It has a far higher overlap with malice. Ignorance is ignorant of actions and consequence. Malice knows exactly what it want…
/r/ExRedPill21/02/23 06:47 PM
7

Many reasons. Biological, societal, emotional, physical. Never having been accepted by the world in that way is quite scary. There are needs that you can't really address by yourself. But plenty of people project all of their emotional needs on some magical relationship. To them the idea of being alone would seem terrifying because they themselves have never developed the tools to deal with life. And in more ways then one they require saving. They're just looking in the wrong place. In terms of …
/r/ExRedPill21/02/23 09:30 AM
1

Cinema Therapy does a good job at defining the terms, I think: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjpxlBRbhXs They also discuss how they themselves were nice guys and learnt to grow out of it. That could be one of the meanings of "nice guys finish last". Though, I should add, the converse is not true in the sense that anyone being "successful" with women is in any way further developed. That's a misconception.
/r/ExRedPill20/02/23 08:09 PM
2

I expect there to mostly be young people on here. Nuance doesn't tend to be a young person's game. And the older people get the more they tend to have figured this out. And the more they have figured it out the less they need to discuss it online. It's a nested selection bias sort of thing. If you need nuance, talk to some of the older folks in real life. They know a ton.
/r/ExRedPill20/02/23 07:43 PM
2

The black pill is designed to depress you. They're also deeply neurotic. So maybe don't listen to them. Their grasp on reality just isn't solid. Or clever. If any of the stuff you heard "all your life" occured on the interwebz. Ignore. Focus on people in the real world. Good people exist. People that have some sort of clue how to live life. Guys on the internet are personas, they hide their lives. Privilege is only useful to discuss with very strict boundaries. It's also somewhat pointless to di…
/r/ExRedPill20/02/23 10:30 AM
7

Sorry to hear that, no one deserves that treatment. That includes you. As much as possible, isolate yourself from perpetrators. It's a lot easier to confront self-doubts w/o someone around to reinforce them. Everyone has fears. Especially while growing up. That's normal, anyone judging anyone else for them is really really dumb on a factual level. It's all about perspective. The reason these guys are putting you down is because they're afraid that one day they might not be able to. They're tryin…
/r/ExRedPill19/02/23 05:50 PM
1

I am of the school that people don't change on short timescales. Especially when presented with a stable situation - which is what you've done so far. The way you describe this relationship, it's basically you serving her. And you having accepted that for a good while. If you want to stay in that situation, stay. If you want to get out, get out. But I wouldn't expect her to change on your account. As it is, she either doesn't at all pick up on how you feel (low empathy - a pain in so many ways),…
/r/ExRedPill19/02/23 05:23 PM
2

Picking up women isn't actually particularly masculine if you think about it. The guys that I know that do this have significant self-worth issues once they start digging. And that makes sense, since they're constantly looking for the approval of the opposite sex. It's also Hedonistic, which contradicts Stoicism. Which is funny, because the same guys think Stoicism is masculine. Therefore even by their own metric, they're not masculine. And based on the numbers your describing it's way past the …
/r/ExRedPill09/02/23 11:04 AM
0

Fair observation. Appreciate it your feedback. I'm assuming that you are female. That might be wrong... If the case, then the guys you are talking about would already be friends with a woman. Which is something that compared across all males, I just don't expect to be that common. I don't even think that men need to be this or the other. One of the most attractive properties about a man - in my mind - is to be socially able. Looks and genetics are in there somewhere, but it's not exactly a binar…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/23 10:34 AM
1

There are some entry level things that are just common sense. That's not the issue. But there are way better motivators outside RP for that. It's just regurgitated. The issue is with the conclusions that they draw. In regards to what women are like and what "men" ought to be like in response. And by exposing yourself to that, you are - well - exposing yourself to that. Things like over-generalisations. And de-individualisation of men and women alike. Aside from that. They're just not that bright…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/23 09:46 AM
3

In my experience, something that most guys get wrong is that they fail to generate interest prior to engaging. Basically, she needs to want to talk to you before you say hi. So the way to be different is by not hoping that a single text will decide the war, the war ought to be already won by the time you text anyone. That's a direct lift from "The Art of War", btw. If you're planning to slide into someone's DM whom you do not know in rl, first of all I'd expect the failure rate to be quite astro…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/23 09:39 AM
5

It's seemingly the path of least resistance. Dating app failure is acceptable for most. But being rejected in real-life scares a ton of people, men and women. In contrast to this, women usually get more attention in real life, so I don't expect there to be the same need. Or if they do go online, they likely won't for long. Either because they find someone, or because they're frustrated at what they found, lol. A friend of mine decided to find a bf on Tinder. And she told me about the arduous tas…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/23 09:26 AM
1

Any type of behaviour I can come up with can be feigned quite easily. The most important contenders in terms of positive marker behaviours are: * Patience. In particular in terms of having sex. * Openness, emotional availability, self-consistent(!) vulnerability. * Ability to apologise (<-- that's a big one). * Not ever really behaving in a way that requires apology (<-- another big one). * Willing to reflect on yours and his behaviours and mistakes fairly lacking judgement. * A lack of unjustif…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/23 02:40 PM
1

When you place a frog into a jar of hot water he jumps right back out again, because he notices the relative difference in temperature. If you place him into cold water he'll stay. And you can bring the water to a boil without noticing. You are the frog. Entry to the movement must be seamless, o/w you don't enter and/or just run away. Any movement requires entry-level truths to seem harmless, even sensible. But it's the deductions that are drawn and the generalisations that are made that you pic…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/23 06:47 PM
2

People do as people do, don't make your own mental health dependent on it. Suffice to say, people like the guy you're describing aren't well and have a tendency to knock themselves out over time. And a lot of the time you'll only notice after the fact, if at all.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/23 06:23 PM
3

Found it, read it. Seems fine. Here's another upvote. Downvotes or upvotes aren't exactly equally meaningful. I expect there to be plenty of kids on here. You sound bothered, though. Please find someone to talk to in the real world. In terms of the guy, just stop watching his content. It really is that easy.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/23 01:12 PM
1

Sure. Though, we have to careful in our definitions here. Neither men nor women are a uniform group. Plenty of either are unhealthy. But in terms of healthy individuals, yeah. They can see character and they understand that intimacy simply isn't possible with someone of bad character because it immediately limits trust. Or if at all possible, intimacy we'll be hugely limited, comparatively. And from that point onwards "looks" take a real backseat and perceived attractiveness becomes far more int…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/23 01:02 PM
1

Sure. The better a man you are the better a man you'll be seen as. Just expect the applause to be silent. There are some downward limiters, but really character is the single most important attribute you can have that you can control in its entirety. That one really lets you shine. But if look x or y sort of doesn't matter once you look good enough for the other.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/23 11:29 AM
1

Not at all. It's only ever too late if you think it is. It's a decision. Life is a pretty long affair. And if you're open for love and connection and engage with the world, you'll meet all kinds of people in all kinds of places at all sorts of times. You can explore plenty. And it's not at all limited by who is willing to have sex with you, lol. Then there's the self-exploration that is like critical to do for anyone. Thing is, some people get into relationships real easily. This doesn't mean th…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/23 11:25 AM
1

Thank you. Always good to be seen. :) I reread it just then and I too was moved by the pacing by the end, lol. All the best.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/23 11:11 AM
1

Absolutely, thank you for your feedback. It's an interesting question for sure. The best way to tell good from bad in my eyes is to get to grips with you inner turmoil. That I'm convinced we all have. The more you resolve your own pains and the better the understanding of yourself the better your understanding of others will be, in general. In lots of ways we're super similar. Similarly, the more healthy you become inside, the less unhealthy people are going to stick. They become uninteresting, …
/r/ExRedPill06/02/23 11:05 AM
1

Good news, you're encountering the real world. Sorry to hear about your lack of dating life atm, that can be a thing, there could be plenty of reasons. All I know for sure is that character preservation is worth more than dating. But don't use "character" as an excuse to be weak. Do continue to develop yourself and discover who you are with fervour. that i will get any girl that i want Time will tell, start with yourself I think. Also that's quite a general statement, so I think you'll have to d…
/r/ExRedPill30/01/23 09:11 PM
3

Ok, thanks for your honesty. Literally just happened to be online, lol. I can't argue for or against your circle of friends. I don't know if people are more honest online. I think people think an awful lot less online. There are fewer inhibitions to say stupid things that anyone would be immediately confronted for in real life. What definitely happens online is that if you find the wrong corner you can absolutely end up in an echo chamber and end up being convinced that every man thinks like tha…
/r/ExRedPill30/01/23 08:53 PM
3

I'm suspecting this is mostly online? Tate is mostly an online thing. If it's online it's at best opaque. You don't know what bots generate what comments or views or in what basement these guys are located. Also, exposing yourself to too much of this content will turn you into the very same thing - just opposite. This sort of content and comment sections are a surefire way to depression and anger. You should stop engaging and consuming it. Think about all the husbands and fathers that do exist, …
/r/ExRedPill30/01/23 06:19 PM
3

I worshiped them. You were already starting from a bad base, tbh. Don't worship any group of people. It doesn't work. Extreme views tend to oscillate. But when I found out the red pill ideology everything changed. I found out what men really think about women. You're extrapolating from RP (a movement for misguided males) to men. Don't. The best men's views you'll hear the least from. Being a male of adult age doesn't make anyone a man. I swear there isn't a single man in RP. That being said, sim…
/r/ExRedPill30/01/23 04:03 PM
1

Thanks. Will pass it on. All I did was to notice a gem when I encountered it. But I'm glad to see that people are enjoying this on here, too. I felt it was relevant. :) People tend to oversimplify hugely complex concepts. Attraction is an amazingly involved topic. That means there's a ton of freedom to explore it for oneself. Once the individual notices their own agency, that is.
/r/ExRedPill30/01/23 03:36 PM
1

If it's redpill to not listen to redpill gurus and advise others not to, too, then yeah. I guess so. Something like meta-redpill. I'd buy that for a dollar. :)
/r/ExRedPill30/01/23 03:05 PM
1

I try. :)
/r/ExRedPill30/01/23 03:00 PM
1

Just trying to help. All the best.
/r/ExRedPill27/01/23 01:11 PM
1

I fail to understand the mystery here. Looks, or rather subjective perception of looks by the individual, are a part of attraction. How is this surprising to anyone? If you were to say it's only about looks. Then that's you reducing a multivariate problem to a single variable. Which you're welcome to do, just don't expect the end result to be meaningful in any form. You've compressed any meaning out of the data now.
/r/ExRedPill27/01/23 11:14 AM
1

It depends what these things mean to you. If you're reducing it to looks. Honestly, yeah. I've seen it. And I swear it's surprising, I wouldn't say it's the rule, but it does happen. People are individuals. Also don't judge right from wrong by what people do. Lots of people are very dumb in what they do. Especially the mates they choose. Men just as much as women. Puts a different spin on divorce rates doesn't it. People just not thinking things through. Clearly not the only reason, but it's for…
/r/ExRedPill27/01/23 11:10 AM
1

Attraction is quite complex. Looks play a role. I don't think anyone will deny that. But unless you limit yourself to Tinder or similarly expressionless service they aren't the superior attributes you might think they are. If you sign up to something like Tinder, expect to be reduced to them. And even there it can be surprising who gets attention and who doesn't. Because it's not just people, there's a machine leveraging odds. But not so that you win, so that it wins. There are competing interes…
/r/ExRedPill27/01/23 11:07 AM
2

Not really, no. Context isn't what you possess or could lose, it's what you generate around you and what people miss about you when you're gone. Actual non-superficial charm may help with that (though that's not what you'll be able to put across online), but status just won't. No one in their right mind would miss you for money you may or may not have unless they're using you. Money should be thought of as more of a downward limiter. A modicum of ambition is attractive because no one wants to su…
/r/ExRedPill27/01/23 11:00 AM
1

Appreciate it. It's one to remember I think. :)
/r/ExRedPill27/01/23 09:09 AM
24

The best piece of advice I have ever been given in this regard that I actually was ready to comprehend at the time: Men become attractive to women through context. And it's difficult to provide meaningful context online. So online dating, meh, works for some on the women that are there (that aren't really representative of womenkind). For the rest, work on your context. Find things you like doing. Do those things. With people. Ideally in the real world.
/r/ExRedPill26/01/23 12:13 PM
2

I'm glad you called it relapse. What you're doing is a type of substance abuse. And you do need to stop. Don't be impressed by any number of online views. They are very opaque with many ways to artificially inflate them. The Stoic point of view is, you must not make the state of your inner world depend on the state of the world outside. Victor Frankl writes something quite similar in "Man's Search for Meaning". A book that you should read. It's about him surviving a concentration camp. These guy…
/r/ExRedPill26/01/23 11:32 AM
13

You have to make your own choices and deal with the consequences. Ideally though you learn to predict consequences prior to acting. I don´t want to get any weird red pill ideas in my mind again. I want to be nice, but please understand just how contradictory what you're saying actually is. You don't want any of the RP ideas, are convinced you left RP, and then you start reading one of the RP bibles anyway, hoping you don't get any of the ideas you're glad to have moved on from. That doesn't comp…
/r/ExRedPill25/01/23 11:36 AM
1

You don't have to be in a relationship. You also don't have to be attracted to women. :) But if you are attracted and you think it's wrong to be attracted (assuming suitable age ranges) that's something worthy to talk about with a professional. I watch redpill videos to feel better about being single and not dating. Yeah, don't. There's nothing good coming from that. I get why you do it, but it's just adding issues on top of the issues you already have. It's a bit like smoking to relax. It might…
/r/ExRedPill24/01/23 11:31 AM
2

Seems to me as if a lot of online discussions simply are this think that goes like Agreed. I think mostly it's just very cognitively simple and safe to accept one of the pre-existing binary viewpoints. If you start looking for nuance usually both camps hate you now. :) I see no real difference in the MGTOW/RP stuff and the ones who oppose it so strongly. I see your point. From a certain point of radicalism onwards it's not the ideas that are a movement's most defining attribute, it's the ferocit…
/r/ExRedPill24/01/23 11:20 AM
1

This incidentally touches on a very interesting subject. Specifically, a way of resolving bonding mechanical trauma. Mostly, that's your parents having treated you suboptimally - childhood trauma. One of the key strategies in healing is something called ideo-parenting. Specifically, you're literally imagining your ideal parents and how they would have responded to you. Apparently the effectiveness of this approach is off the scale. I think it was considered something like a 6.1 on a scale where …
/r/ExRedPill23/01/23 11:41 AM
1

It depends on your history. Try using a new browser (something like duckduckgo) and use a private tab (maybe even through a vpn) to open youtube (don't log in). See if what's displayed is any different to what you're seeing now. Just by knowing that my suggestions are way different to yours I can assure you, unless you missed out any of the steps above (e.g. an implicit login on your device) you'll be looking at a completely different world. Change what you're exposed to and you'll change your p…
/r/ExRedPill23/01/23 11:26 AM
0

In any ideological grouping sense is left at the door and internal inconsistencies abound. That being said, I'm somewhat concerned that you might be viewing opportunities to have casual sex as beneficial in any way. Which you're welcome to think, but availability doesn't provoke growth. Literally lower body counts for women would = an extremely more cutthroat and restrictive sexual market for men. How is this is not plainly obvious??? I don't think this will be the case, in terms of evolution re…
/r/ExRedPill23/01/23 11:20 AM
3

You're presupposing that you'll be finding anyone on twitter who's mind is actually open to change, which I find hard to believe. There's too much pressure. I want to respond to the following: * Twitter a good idea: probably not. * How to change a mind: by being a friend, establishing trust, not judging them and most importantly by listening. * How do you respond: you don't, instead listen and ask questions. See below. By far the best way to change anyone's mind is by being a friend 1-1 in perso…
/r/ExRedPill23/01/23 11:08 AM
3

Hey there. Sure. Happy to discuss if you like. (: There are two things I'd like to respond to: * Do 99% of people root for this sort of stuff: No. See below. * How to fix any of this for your self: See below. I fear it's a classical issue of a silent majority. Realistically, most people tend not to be extreme on practically any topic. What does end up being the case is that the most extreme ones tend to be the most verbal though they should almost certainly speak the least. I do think that there…
/r/ExRedPill23/01/23 10:42 AM
1

Depending on context it'll be anywhere on a spectrum ranging from highest priority possible to literal irrelevance. It's quite a fluid concept.
/r/ExRedPill20/01/23 08:38 PM
9

Dread game. It's vile.
/r/ExRedPill19/01/23 09:29 AM
1

I agree. Well reflected post. It's an issue to try to convince someone that they're wrong and thinking too binary (which is what RP does) by taking the opposite stance. How anyone expects anything other than trench warfare at that point is beyond me. Be nice, be empathetic. Not everyone had a father figure, or a useful one. And many are just looking for direction. To me that's perfectly understandable. You won't be able to pull anyone back from the ledge by telling them they're wrong. A soft sug…
/r/ExRedPill18/01/23 05:58 PM
3

You're quite welcome. I respect your response. Need anything, shout.
/r/ExRedPill18/01/23 05:50 PM
4

In terms of self-development, "friends" are something of a double-edged sword. They stabilise your character based on who you were when you made them. Issue is, friends can be a detriment when trying to grow. Very few will be able to grow with you. You might have to lose your friends if they're having too much of a negative impact on you. Moving is a very easy way to hit a natural reset. The "fat" part is often times addressable through exercise and eating habits. Not an expert on the topic, but…
/r/ExRedPill18/01/23 05:49 PM
19

Find your own path. Just be careful who you follow. Considering the the RP analogy is to see more than the rest of us. Do open your eyes who you're standing shoulder to shoulder with and ask yourself if that's really who you want to become. If the answer is yes and you see nothing wrong with it on your own, then as far as you're concerned I just ran out of valid arguments. To me becoming a man has always been about seeing the world as it is on my own, not how I'd like it to be through the eyes o…
/r/ExRedPill18/01/23 04:04 PM
3

I concur. It's quite scary. Ultimately anything we write here is quite useless unless people are prepared to listen. Let's hope there's at least one or two that do.
/r/ExRedPill18/01/23 02:21 PM
6

Forgive me, but what you think about yourself is only partly relevant. It's far more meaningful to determine how others view you that (a) are reflective enough to pass useful judgement and (b) that know you enough to understand all of your motives. Including the hidden ones. Yes. But none of that is RP specific. I will not argue against anyone discovering their masculinity. But very much the means by which this is done, specifically through whose teachings. I doubt I'll be able to explain this t…
/r/ExRedPill18/01/23 02:15 PM
19

embracing my masculinity, and for me in the form of more traditional masculine traits What specifically does that mean to you? Be as masculine as you want so long as you don't use it as an excuse to be an ass. Issue is, that's exactly what RP teaches you to be. You'll be way more masculine if you discover what it means to be you for yourself instead of following self-important dudes with sunglasses on the internet. You know, entitled people that talk way more than they really should.
/r/ExRedPill18/01/23 10:36 AM
2

Agreed. Thanks for posting, the only thing I would change is "shouldn't" to either "mustn't" or just "don't". :) The tragic story is that many young men see success as getting "girls". Completely ignoring what sort of girls they'll be attracting acting like that. And then, in the most tragic conclusion possible, blame their failure to select on women themselves. Sad times. The only "shit test" I have, and it's not even intentional, is that I text when I have time. Mostly that's quite soon after …
/r/ExRedPill17/01/23 10:08 PM
1

I quite enjoy how you structured your information. I agree, it's a solid description. It hints at INTP/INTJ. Maybe. ... in any case. Self loathing just doesn't help and anyone who is conditioning you in this way isn't helpful. It's a way to rid you off agency and leaves you helpless and suggestible. I keep seeing people that are "afraid of genuine connection". And I must admit, I never quite understood. I personally look only for genuine connection, because I swear the rest is just a waste of ti…
/r/ExRedPill17/01/23 09:59 PM
1

The more I read on this topic the more I think all of this is young guys looking for a father figure - which is a tragic state of affairs. That being said, I can empathise. But please look for people in real life. People whose character you are in any position to judge. Online is cut and polished, it's digital. Life is analogue and raw. I don't know the Hamza fellow. Not super keen either. Another guy on the internet. If you abstract enough anyone you meet is basically spouting wisdom constantly…
/r/ExRedPill17/01/23 09:26 PM
1

There are real issues with self-assessments like that. Because you're relying on well developed reflective capacities far into the future. Which hardly anyone will be able to do to any degree of accuracy. Maybe they are maybe they aren't. I think most get kind of bothered as they realise they might not have children. But that might just be anecdotal. Does this explain the male female imbalance on dating websites or are other factors behind this. One of the major "advantages" that women do hold a…
/r/ExRedPill16/01/23 05:30 PM
9

The "Alpha male" isn't a roid-raged lunatic who abuses women and doesn't provide anything meaningful other than attention in my perspective. Actual attention is a very real thing. And most people very much lack the capacity for it. Anyone capable of giving attention will be worth far more than the caricature of "man" you describe as "alpha". That person is a very basic human. The issue is always, pick your masters with care. "Andrew Tate has been detained in Romania as part of a human traffickin…
/r/ExRedPill16/01/23 05:18 PM
2

and a level 1000 on COD. This does appear to be a major feat. :) Frankly though the ideal man is just a normal person, enjoying their probably kinda quirky to the norm (mean, mode, ave) life and being a positive influence on people they meet. That's a man. I really like this paragraph, thanks for posting. I like this: "When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost." Billy Graham RP basically says, hey focus on the first two and …
/r/ExRedPill15/01/23 09:39 PM
2

However, as time has passed I have noticed he consumes a lot of red pill commentary. That's really all you need to know. It infuriates me when he says things like this Naturally, it's infuriating to be de-individualised. he regrets wasting thousands of dollars Why on earth would be spend thousands of dollars on girlfriends. Of course, he'll attract bad eggs like that. Forgive me, but lol. something in my spirit tells me he’s extremely insecure No spirit work required, he's being quite open with …
/r/ExRedPill15/01/23 09:32 PM
1

Based on the situation you describe here, that appears to be a reasonable course of action. Neither of you is really acting particularly loving with the other it seems. In terms of the literal issue at hand, that of numbers of sexual partners. I think it's ok to be open about what sort of histories one is comfortable with and which one is not. That, though, shouldn't include insult.
/r/ExRedPill15/01/23 09:16 PM
1

The short answer is, it's probably better that way. There's little of value to be discovered here other than neuroticism. The blue pill is naive, the black pill is depression. The red pill has some reasonable entry-level truths. It claims to want to see the world as it is providing tools to change your state within. So far so good. Sadly, it then goes off the rails predominantly by confusing instance (some woman said they think abc) with principle (all women therefore think abc). Basically, it's…
/r/ExRedPill15/01/23 09:09 PM
1

I think at the core being a gentleman is about being kind out of appreciation for the other alone. Plus some more formal behaviours and skills: e.g. table manners and polite use of speech, especially in heated situations. The "simp" lacks dignity and is always hoping for something in return. He may emulate some behaviours but simply won't be able to "get it". I don't think that men are discouraged from being a gentlemen, certainly not by women (from what I can tell). I think young men often time…
/r/ExRedPill01/01/23 11:53 PM
1

One of the best ways to normalise your attachment patterns and expectation thereof (which is what I'd consider all of this) is to have healthy attachments. I'd consider the following. Make some friends that you really trust. Then figure out what scares you most about women or approaching women or whatever, and then try to tell them, little by little. The act of speaking about your fears will also normalise them and deepen the attachment at the same time. This can be difficult. Likely is. And I c…
/r/ExRedPill23/12/22 04:46 PM
1

Ok, you definitely shouldn't have done that. It's a severe violation of privacy. Then again, what you found almost immediately yields zero empathy with him. He's very clearly not what he pretended to be. Does he truly believe all of these things? Maybe think about it this way, he's either lying to you or him. Meaning he's quite happy to lie significantly. People who are happy to lie will lie to everyone as they deem reasonable. The far easier conclusion is that he's lying to you and speaking the…
/r/ExRedPill03/12/22 03:59 PM
2

Simply put, it works for some. I personally find that confusing, but I've accepted that different existences pertain to inherently different realities entirely outside of easily comprehensible factors like physical attractiveness. What is annoying is people recommending it that have no idea about its reality. Or women recommending it to men. The base-line experience is too different for that to be valuable advice in my mind.
/r/ExRedPill03/12/22 03:43 PM
3

But now, now that I'm over halfway out of my 20's, it's becoming more appealing by the day. That makes sense, you're maturing as a man, and you realise that your situation appears (at least on the surface) to be atypical. It makes sense then to attempt to look for perspectives you may use to orienteer yourself. That's normal. So you're all good here. Not being red-pilled has gotten me absolutely nothing thus far. Personally, I am aware of the anti stance against RP. The reality will lie in the m…
/r/ExRedPill03/12/22 03:38 PM
2

Congrats on your coming out as a straght person. ;) Hopefully that's not a joke too soon. In any case, go you. In a moment of pain you understood that things may not be as they present themselves on the top-layer, you asked yourself why and henceforth entered the realm of reflection, one of the key behaviours of a group of cognitive patterns known as meta-cognition. From a how does the mind work the notion of a thought about the thought is crazy exciting and distinctly non-trivial. What an achie…
/r/ExRedPill03/12/22 12:52 PM
3

I think ex RP disagrees with RP in general, not necessarily on every last little point. "Increasing numbers of sex partners were associated with increasing risk of substance dependence disorder at all three ages. The association was stronger for women and remained after adjusting for prior disorder." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3752789/ Maybe that's an interesting read, ultimately you have to decide for yourself what bothers you and what doesn't. To me someone that behaved promi…
/r/ExRedPill02/10/22 02:35 PM
1

The discussion isn't do they exist or don't they exist, it's how should you treat women in general and yourself. Whether or not weird women exist doesn't factor in. And nor does existence imply uniformity across a group. What happens, though, is that RP equivocates instance (some women are weird) with principle (therefore all women must be weird). That's not an argument. You're asking how to judge someone's character. Watch carefully what they do. How they treat others and you. Especially in con…
/r/ExRedPill30/09/22 07:49 PM
1

I feel like fixating on that one prospect that won’t achieve wholistic fulfillment is just not right. I agree, it can consume you. And in the end you're even less that you thought you were before. Though it may not look like that to others. And you’re right. Honestly just observing the world around me I feel like women care way less about looks than men do. Someone I admire once presented to me a loaded question: "Why do you assume that we (women) see what you see when we look at men." Maybe tha…
/r/ExRedPill29/09/22 07:05 PM
1

Yes, leave. Listen to your friends, staying is a bad idea. I really care for him. In general, don't care for people that don't care for you. And if you find yourself behaving any differently really figure out why that is. Ultimately, at the bottom of feeling drawn to people that hurt you lies pain. I should add, disagreeing on issues is very different to outright disregarding values a priori. He has no interest in you or your happiness. I just don't know how to help him. Because he has no intere…
/r/ExRedPill28/09/22 02:08 PM
3

Just wanted to say I enjoyed this comment. :)
/r/ExRedPill28/09/22 01:39 PM
2

I'm not, actually, and that's about the degree as to which I'm willing to discuss my age on the internet. I'm far more interested as to why you think that's relevant.
/r/ExRedPill28/09/22 01:38 PM
1

It's complicated. I'd like to think that people can be fulfilled without sex in their life, however, I suspect that most will have real trouble being socially isolated. So that's where I'd start. Is to find friends and build social circles to whichever degree anyone can. An in-depth friendship can be a real life saver. I think online dating is quite hit and miss, mostly miss. Most guys will feel like they're seen even less while being told that that's the simple solution and it's "rejection-free…
/r/ExRedPill28/09/22 01:36 PM
6

You're assuming logic from a people that despise logic. You cannot be an ideologue and appreciate reason. I guess the response would be to call you a name or put you down in some way. They don't actually want to help anyone, they want to say, "treat women like this because they're all bad", then they feign surprise if women don't like it and they say "it's even worse than we thought". It's all a bit stupid tbh. And I mean that. In effect they're asking you at the door, "are you desperate enough …
/r/ExRedPill26/09/22 03:31 PM
1

The world is a nuanced place. The issue I have with RP is that it basically teaches young men to be an asshole to get sex. Roughly, speaking. I'm not even saying that it doesn't work. But that's not a basis for a relationship, it'll be based on manipulation. You might go through all of the motions, but if the emotions are lacking and you're a normal human (in the sense that you feel and have empathy), I fail to see the worth in that. I get the height thing, and I understand how frustrating it is…
/r/ExRedPill26/09/22 03:23 PM
2

I never obsessed about finding a guy before I entered the RP space, and when I had a partner before, it was out of genuine love and I really liked spending time with them. That last one seems like a good idea. You should aim at that. Now, dating feels like an obligation That's a good sign that you should pause tbh. Go inward and understand what you need and want. And grow to match it. You're also describing some self-worth issues (women worthless at 25). I'd very much suggest resolving those out…
/r/ExRedPill12/09/22 03:43 PM
3

Thanks for you post. Overall, your situation appears relatable. so I stopped consuming it and was ex red pill. ExRP doesn't mean I stopped consuming the content therefore I am. It means I understood what's wrong about it and why that is, both logically and emotionally. And most importantly I've resolved and begun to appreciate my personal internal vulnerabilities and history to the point where I'm no longer open on this particular flank of my emotional being. None of this means that what you're …
/r/ExRedPill12/09/22 02:08 PM
9

I think it's ok to be neither in a relationship nor "having fun" at any age. It does provide a lot of time for genuine personal development that I fear someone who sleeps around in their 20s will have difficulty implementing in quite the same way. That being said, if you meet someone you genuinely like and it flows well I wouldn't artificially keep them at a distance either. It's a balancing act. Because most of us want to have a meaningful relationship at some point, but in order to have one yo…
/r/ExRedPill09/09/22 11:13 PM
1

I’ve accepted that I shouldn’t try and be something I’m not and happy in life rn Solid thoughts. I don’t have any problem getting sex/ laid etc, but that old red pill rage is still in me, I just know it. Any advice? You say you don't have issues getting laid. My question would be with whom. For the most part I wouldn't expect women that are easy to get to hugely correlate with the set of women that are super interested in treating you well... not to say that they couldn't, or that other women ne…
/r/ExRedPill09/09/22 10:05 AM
2

I'm mostly introverted, I'm not great at large social places, and I'm kinda geeky. Entertaining the concept of "beta-males" for a moment, it's mostly used as a means to describe a submissive man. Yet none of the things you described above imply submissiveness. I like to think I'm a good person, but then again, it seems like most people are too I don't know if they are. Some for sure, most are ok. But it also doesn't matter, if you are good, and to me that means virtuous, then that is allowed to …
/r/ExRedPill09/09/22 08:51 AM
6

The key I think, is that the individual that stays is already vulnerable to abuse before the fact. I have trouble seeing why on earth a healthy self-asserted character would stick around the first time this happened. If any man ever calls you any of these names. Leave, it doesn't matter if he apologises some time after, he'll for sure do it again. And it will get worse. It's a continued game of "how much can I get away with". Giving an apology and the other staying is "getting away with it". Why…
/r/ExRedPill09/09/22 08:30 AM
10

Are they actually teaching men to push away love and affection on accident? No, that's deliberate. The coaches don't have empathy, I doubt they consider love and affection a real thing, more of a weakness. It's sort of where I'd expect all RPers to end over time. It's a perfectly normal reaction to become anxious in an abusive environment. Continue it for long enough it'll turn into trauma. Gaslighting, punishment, psychological mindgames. And then in the end you're blamed for being "crazy". Wha…
/r/ExRedPill09/09/22 08:19 AM
2

Thanks. :) Bad people exist, they're a thing. In a way they're right, if you look at Fresh and Fit, they were quite consistently able to find dysfunctional women that would come on their podcast to say some rather outrageous things. So there is evidence. But instance never proves systematic existence. Facts don't care about your feelings, also true. But they're missing the second part of that statement which is equally relevant. Facts really care about context. If you can, don't be annoyed, they…
/r/ExRedPill08/09/22 05:23 PM
1

I'm not even convinced it matters, try Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, and Seneca. Neither of them will be too far off the mark. Reading them, though, doesn't change anything on its own. It's their principle of constantly questioning yourself and your virtues that eventually may allow you to embody something similar. You cannot project that which you do not have. Many many people learn behaviours because that's their understanding of the topic, it's shallow, so they focus on symptoms. Something alon…
/r/ExRedPill08/09/22 02:25 PM
2

Sometimes it's just as easy as saying "they're lying to you". It's arguing by authority that doesn't quite exist in the way that's specified... or at all. Then there's lying by omission of context, which happens a ton. It's a very good manipulation strategy because there's always a kernel of truth in there somewhere that can be retreated to when the pressure gets too high. The there's lying by implication. Where a reasonable fact is used to expand into a cloud castle. They're not exactly critica…
/r/ExRedPill08/09/22 10:28 AM
3

instead of realizing that I haven't really vetted this woman at all. Fair. Do vet your partners. Always. I think I went into every situation with women assuming that they weren't capable of hurting me or doing me wrong, it was only me they had to watch out for. I fear you put women on a pedestal. I mean, you're realising this now, so go you, but that's what that is. But not only GOOD women will give you attention. And if you don't realize that, and are too focused on not being alone and finding …
/r/ExRedPill08/09/22 10:10 AM
2

Hey there. :) I want to say that "confidence" is just one of those words that has a more fuzzy meaning and is therefore easy to misunderstand. Everyone has an opinion on it while practically no one can define it. Usually someone is considered confident once they've been observed doing something that scares the observer. For some that's playing sports, for others it's public speaking, having good rapport with women often is the highest entry in the list for (young) men. Confidence isn't recklessn…
/r/ExRedPill08/09/22 09:42 AM
6

That seems like a really stupid way to pass the time.
/r/ExRedPill07/09/22 06:25 PM
2

I find it surprising that someone would find your post odd tbh. Or think you're a man. Lol? You can't really unsee or unthink things. What you can and should do is put them into perspective. Too many people get too hung up on disproving RP in its entirety. That's not clever, since RP is based on a few grains of truth, entry-level truths. The question you have to ask, if "truth" makes you feel terrible, and that's the end of it, then how valuable is it really? The key to not be seduced into RP wa…
/r/ExRedPill07/09/22 06:17 PM
6

I'm struggling with the grammar in your post headline. I'm also lacking key information as to what perceptions you're "ruining", specifically. Even good men can have bad perceptions of women. Please clarify: * Are you "ruining" bad perceptions of women held by good men? * Or are you "ruining" good perceptions of women held by good men?
/r/ExRedPill07/09/22 05:17 PM
3

Being good - in the true sense of the word - isn't possible without strong will. What she's referring to is inoffensiveness. Won't do anything bad, but is also incapable of it. Which is neither here nor there. It seems to me that only a fool would consider (2) "dateable". Not very good men that are also strong willed doesn't exactly sound like someone I'd like to be intimate with. So what she says may be true, but it's certainly not wise. I also occasionally wonder if women would necessarily go …
/r/ExRedPill07/09/22 02:20 PM
3

What you're describing here isn't you being tired of being a man, it's that you're tired of being blamed for things that couldn't possibly be your fault. And you're also tired by how other people try to limit your emotional expression you based on your sex. You are tired of sexism, not of being a man. I think that's a perfectly reasonable reaction to have to nonsense.
/r/ExRedPill30/08/22 07:15 AM
3

I mean at this point you're not even talking about toxic men/women, you're talking about violent psychopaths looking to murder you. That's really different. That's not really exRP or RP tbh. There's also no real easy answer to it. Don't ever be flashed by charm and/or status, keep your wits about you and don't do anything you're not comfortable with. And let someone know where you're going, someone that isn't coming with you. The police will be real interested in this once you go missing.
/r/ExRedPill29/08/22 02:53 PM
3

I don't even know what a status hit is. And even if I did, I suspect that my definition would differ from yours. I guess if you lose your job then just for yourself your predominant aim should be to gain employment again, not to fuck around as it were. I honestly can't blame anyone for viewing it that way. Status exists, but outside of a few downward limiters it's not as meaningful as some might think. Having a job as well as the capacity to keep one is a good starting point even on a mental hea…
/r/ExRedPill29/08/22 09:20 AM
5

I fear you're looking for simple answers to complicated questions. You can meet good people literally anywhere. But it greatly depends on where you're at (in yourself). So emotional development always comes first. Emotional maturity and vulnerability are the big attractors for people. Because they're universally relatable. Fake it til you make it is false. Either you are emotionally mature, or you're not. And if you're not, put in the time and the work. If true crime content affects you badly to…
/r/ExRedPill29/08/22 08:48 AM
2

"Stolen" is a funny word, since it views the lady as an object without free will, which isn't exactly accurate. So long as it happens with honesty and empathy I don't see much wrong with it, may it suck. The alternative would be for someone to stick around while they'd rather be with someone else, which just doesn't sound worth it for everyone involved over time. I wouldn't want someone to stick with me that isn't into it, I mean, what for? So yeah, this is a realistic occurrence, though it shou…
/r/ExRedPill16/08/22 12:54 PM
1

The proof is in the pudding. All women, no. Some women, yes. Same as for men, some men may say something helpful, lots won't be able to. As soon as you generalise across a group the answer is basically always no. Needs are different, perspectives are different, experiences are different. Women are wildly different from one another, men are wildly different from one another. The issue is, if you're lost on your own and you solely depend on other's advice, it's not going to work. Most people don't…
/r/ExRedPill16/08/22 12:33 PM
2

She is generally not a good person, ... Then that's how much weight you should attribute to her judgement. None. And with all this, the dating market dictates that she gets free stuff It does not. No one is holding a gun to anyone's head. Find women you want to spend time with. If that's women that want to take you for all that you're worth that's more of a self problem than a women problem. The ladies around her don't necessarily agree, they may be scared, intimidated, or just see it for what i…
/r/ExRedPill16/08/22 12:26 PM
5

I will never love one. Whereas that's your prerogative of a decision to make, the only way that would work is by joy proofing your mind. You're welcome to do that, but what comes out of it doesn't seem quite worth it to me. I’ve accepted that the red pill is true peace I see. Well it is about as much peace as any illusion would be. That's kind of what illusions are for. You sort of hit the nail on the head there. I’m 22 and happy I’ve learned early that the Disney fairy tales aren’t real. Which …
/r/ExRedPill16/08/22 12:07 PM
2

I imagine you're referring to some offshoot from the bar is really low for men? Yeah, I can understand that topic triggering all kinds of people. But you're generalising across all of us on here, which also isn't justified. It's not so much that every comment you'll find on here is a pearl of wisdom, it's just that some of the people that frequent this sub and respond may well have some to share. Never expect all members of any given group to be wise, thoughtful, or even useful in the perspectiv…
/r/ExRedPill16/08/22 11:58 AM
7

Honestly, stop watching their content. It just doesn't help. They're not wise, they're not men, they have nothing of value. It's all about nuance. And that's really complicated to understand sometimes. And then life still hurts. Be weary of their entry-level truths, they're supposed to be true. They aren't the movement, though. It's important to not confuse the two. I personally agree, you shouldn't go out into the world trying to find a relationship, it's not the right motivation if you don't h…
/r/ExRedPill16/08/22 10:49 AM
0

I judge speech on what it achieves. I don't know what the bar is really on the floor for men achieves other than shitting on guys, successful or not. It doesn't improve the situation, it isn't advice, and it doesn't uplift. At best, it'll make you feel worse about your situation, whatever that might be. There still appears to be doubt that men can have struggles. lol? I doubt an emotionally mature guy would entertain dating a woman that says stuff like that. It's basically a flag. On a good day …
/r/ExRedPill16/08/22 10:36 AM
1

Anytime, thanks for reading and responding. :) As for dating as a woman: I mean, for me or for ”women” the issue is the neediness. Agreed. Even by proxy as a guy, I feel the aftershock of just how unattractive that is. I think many guys would be helped just by understanding that attention on its own isn't worth as much as they might think, it simply presents you with different problems. You get commitment, affection and love very very soon. But that makes it feel fake, like it’s not really you w…
/r/ExRedPill12/08/22 08:57 PM
1

TRP dehumanises both men and women. Neither is true, they're both human. You can't just pretend that one half of humanity isn't human, let alone both. If neither men nor women are human, then who is, exactly? Just by exposing yourself to TRP you're overexposing yourself to toxic masculinity and femininity. Which is exactly what you're feeling. For starters, no more TRP content. That basically means delete your YouTube account, otherwise these videos will haunt you forever. It's all about who and…
/r/ExRedPill11/08/22 01:12 PM
0

Before I'd make such a drastic choice I'd seek to verify my own perspectives. In particular, how many white women are you friends with. Find a set of ten whose judgement you trust (that means you know them well and you care about their opinion because it's well reasoned) and ask them if they confirm this view of yours. On the other hand you appear to have a single data point that suggests that your hypothesis that Asian women like you, is true. Same thing here, find ten Asian women whose judgeme…
/r/ExRedPill11/08/22 12:23 PM
1

I'm sure life as elements that may be battle-like, but to equate life with war seems weirdly uninsightful. It highlights a very one-sided perspective on life and being. What about joy, what about love? Are they also both matters of war? Is war joy? Is war love? I think not. Sometimes it pays to compete, but to live your life as if all of it was a competition is the same as saying everything is about power. It's not. Competition is part of life, as is power. If you want to become a programmer the…
/r/ExRedPill09/08/22 06:50 PM
1

I'm sure life as elements that may be battle-like, but to equate life with war seems weirdly uninsightful. It highlights a very one-sided perspective on life and being. What about joy, what about love? Are they also both matters of war? Is war joy? Is war love? I think not. Sometimes it pays to compete, but to live your life as if all of it was a competition is the same as saying everything is about power. It's not. Competition is part of life, as is power. If you want to become a programmer the…
/r/ExRedPill09/08/22 06:50 PM
1

It's the shaming part here that's key. Men uplift, they don't need to shame. Being a father is one of many ways to take responsibility. It's a very meaningful one I have no doubt, but I wished more men aim at becoming "men" prior to having kids. If the guy you're talking about genuinely shamed other men for the sheer fact that they happen to not have kids at whatever age, then he's not a man. And nor will he be a good father while in that zone. Sooner or later he'll shame his own children for de…
/r/ExRedPill09/08/22 06:14 PM
1

RP talk about it, but I barely see this happen outside of it. Not really in a productive way. And nor do they "talk", they assert and/or lecture. As if they knew anything worthy sharing. a woman that will be a net negative to most men I think a good first step would be to not view fellow humans as a net anything. :) or what woman is worthy to your vulnerability. It's the other way around. You should be worth it to you to be vulnerable, because it's you that'll incur most of the consequences if y…
/r/ExRedPill09/08/22 04:55 PM
1

Nope. My sister got married at 37. Now you could argue, ha, must be a loser. But I don't have the impression that he is. :) And two kids, both healthy. Honestly, it's never over, your needs will change, as will your perspective, but there'll always be moments of intimacy. And arguably much more so than even emotionally possible in your 20s. So long as you're open for it intimacy and joy are a lifelong possibility. And fewer RP guys will attempt to approach you. That's not a bad thing. The reason…
/r/ExRedPill09/08/22 02:46 PM
1

More like an itch I can't scratch but that will hopefully fade. Pain here is more of a lose concept. A certain discomfort as you describe will fit the bill. I remain firmly human. Sadly. In my experience we all have all the tools to find joy. But many of those tools require discovery. Which isn't common knowledge somehow, there is this base assumption that self-awareness and that whole spiel is a given. I am not even sure if what I desire is women or my own validation. I suspect, and of course t…
/r/ExRedPill05/08/22 07:46 AM
3

Why even check? The possible outcomes don't change, either you get a response, or you don't. I think good advice is to not get too excited with any remote anything (including anything online) unless you've actually met someone, and are en route to do so again. It's ok to be a little excited, but you'll only ever find out later anyway. Maybe it's a little insecure, but there's nothing embarrassing about it. It's just who you are right now. Figure out why that is, look at what beliefs and memories…
/r/ExRedPill04/08/22 08:30 PM
1

Would be nice to leave it all behind and being completely free of attraction. That's "easy way out thinking". Sometimes it works, here it decidedly doesn't. Attraction and desire are decidedly human. To rid yourself of them makes you more of a machine. That's not as attractive as it sounds. It's not about ridding yourself of either, it's about discovering and building the tools to integrate them within you. I understand why you might feel that way right now, but the answer is never be less human…
/r/ExRedPill04/08/22 07:23 PM
3

It's not unbelievable no. Although I haven't had the pleasure myself. It really depends on who you select, why, how, and what for. Issue is, if we ourselves are dysfunctional, then we look for compatible partners. Not healthy ones, but compatible partners. So if this sort of thing would happen to me with reasonable consistency, I'd expect the answer to lie within moreso than outside of me.
/r/ExRedPill04/08/22 08:13 AM
3

I think a ton of that is cognitive dissonance. I believe that they believe in this. It's just that many don't seem to be able to distinguish between what they think they think and what they actually do.
/r/ExRedPill04/08/22 08:11 AM
7

Incidentally, "getting therapy" is often viewed as a big step. So to ease the transition and have an idea of what you're even looking at (big mysterious mystical magical process), just get "Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies". Just that on its own will help you. It's a metric ton of common sense, basically. But it's really healthy to read I find. :)
/r/ExRedPill04/08/22 08:09 AM
4

Ok, so I don't mean any offense. But you have some dysfunctional women in your life. And that includes your mum... sorry. Anyway, honestly, the women you describe wouldn't register for me. I'm sure they exist, but they don't bother me, and I don't bother them it seems. Then again, I've worked a ton on the lens I see the world through. The subconscious is a little (a lot) subtle. As a really short summary, the more you get in touch with it and realise and resolve any pains you have from early on,…
/r/ExRedPill04/08/22 08:05 AM
3

I find that quite unlikely, but you can always go to a doctor and ask him. You should also allow for and consider correlative replacement behaviours, e.g. possibly excessive porn usage which absolutely can lead to ED. Or a heavily entrenched self-deprecating sense of self that will also not help. But who you are, and how you develop isn't as limited by being a virgin as you seem to think. Point is, it's just one of those things that RP/BP would say, because it'll depress a vulnerable audience me…
/r/ExRedPill03/08/22 12:19 PM
1

I think I responded to that one actually. It's an interesting question for sure. but I was laughed at Hopefully you didn't take it personally. Many do not know what they do. And those that laugh have usually little else to add. They are limited to punitive behaviour, because that's how they view themselves. I'll try to be as concise as possible, but these are all vastly expansive topics, so feel free to query. Lol, still ended up too long, I hope you like reading ... :) Do you have reason to thi…
/r/ExRedPill03/08/22 11:49 AM
2

That's quite the compliment. Much appreciated, thanks. Means a lot to me. I spend a lot of time pondering so I'm super happy if someone reads it and thinks, yeah, that's kind of interesting. :) Have a good day. Maybe check back from time to time.
/r/ExRedPill03/08/22 09:58 AM
6

Maybe then that's not your path. Or you're not ready. Though the generality of your dismissal while refusing to go into detail hints more at a subconscious sense of disgust as opposed to a thought through response. What I mean by that is that you acting somewhat aggressively when there is no need. Which is interesting in its own right. I provoked a reaction just by stating my perspective. That's a good starting point to start analysing I think. Up to you. What I described here, though, all true.…
/r/ExRedPill02/08/22 08:39 PM
1

I think a few minutes are fine unless you're having an actual live texting convo going. Gives you a chance to think and them. That's not always a bad thing. Other than that, text when you fancy it and when you get a chance. Don't artificially make those intervals longer than they need to be. But it's not unattractive to not always be waiting by the phone either. You want to be somewhere in the middle between constant 24/7 availability and artificially waits to feign mystery where there is none. …
/r/ExRedPill02/08/22 04:43 PM
4

That's, simplistic. Which part? Or just all of it?
/r/ExRedPill02/08/22 04:29 PM
6

The reason you joined TRP wasn't a logical one, it was an emotional one. That's the one that needs addressing. It takes significant pain to override what you describe as a critical mindset and arrive at the conclusion that women should be dehumanised (which is what RP does). That's not logical, that's pain. And so that's where I'd spend my efforts. Not on studies and whatever else, you'll necessarily get lost in a world of nuance. Get a book on CBT, get a book on childhood trauma, and start jour…
/r/ExRedPill02/08/22 04:25 PM
17

I'm not convinced that such a way exists. The key is to address not the what but the why. Many people here and in general project needs of their own onto others. That's needs they should learn how to fulfill themselves. Not only will they yearn for relationships/intimacy, they end up viewing them as necessary for survival. And they obsess over their possibility and by extension about anything with even the remotest possibility of affecting it. The key is to understand that proper development of …
/r/ExRedPill02/08/22 04:13 PM
1

Makes sense. The longer you stay in this interaction the longer he'll try and has opportunity to manipulate you. Self-worth and taking responsibility can be as simple as a decision to just not. I think this is one of those times. I think he disliked your post, so I liked to make sure you stay in reddits good graces lol. Who else would dislike this post.
/r/ExRedPill01/08/22 04:08 PM
2

Will he let go? Will I be target of new tactics? Of course, until you're no longer interested and/or put up with it. We keep sexual conversations and promises but my inner self is craving for true love, basic attention, warmth. So you know, stop. There's nothing good coming out of this, and you're encouraging a bad actor. Nothing good ever comes out of ignoring red flags. No matter who it is. Lately it is messing pretty bad with my mental health, I don't feel valued at all. I'm not surprised. Th…
/r/ExRedPill31/07/22 03:08 PM
3

You haven't gotten anything wrong. Just that you thought that this is a good movement to be in, lol. You're a critical mind in a movement that couldn't possibly survive if everyone just did their own thinking. So they bully others into submission. Surely a guy who’s got his shit together would have better things to do then hang around a sub giving guys shit for being weak. No one that bullies has their shit together. It's a neurotic response to feeling inferior. Lots of people feel inferior, not…
/r/ExRedPill30/07/22 06:28 PM
3

Of course men feel like that. Especially growing up. That women are in fact superior. I suspect that RPers first and foremost feel that way. If they truly believed women to be inferior, they wouldn't have to bang on about it. It wouldn't even occur to them. Nor would they have to come up with all these ways in which to dominate and manipulate women into submission. That factually isn't a position of strength. If it was, they wouldn't have to do any of this. Strong characters don't point out thei…
/r/ExRedPill30/07/22 06:02 PM
43

Well done. I call them the lost boys. They refuse to grow up, and cling to simplistic ideas and principles that in all honesty are highly unlikely to ever have been true in the way that they view them. It's all heavily romanticised. One of the majorly seductive properties of things like TRP (as with any cult/ideological following) are the entry-level truths. They can really blur your vision. Especially if unrelated topics of debate are then brought back to these truisms, as if there were a conne…
/r/ExRedPill30/07/22 04:53 PM
-6

I haven't been watching him in ages, so it's not like I know everything he says these days. I know he got quite depressed a while back. And sometimes people say stupid things, who knows. I can't defend what I don't know. Can you provide links of JP content that you find annoying or indeed outright sexist? I'm interested in hearing you out.
/r/ExRedPill28/07/22 08:20 PM
2

and not just with words. Therapy uses words to communicate highly abstract and highly emotional concepts and feelings, bringing them to the surface, out of hiding, and understanding their meaning. just words just doesn't do the process justice. When I go through the world I don't get the vibe that people want to talk to me. But ultimately, I don't know. I don't query the people around me. It's an impression I'm getting, that's all. It's not reality. And even if people didn't want to talk to me, …
/r/ExRedPill28/07/22 05:11 PM
1

Maybe maybe not. I suspect it's your search history, though, since I don't see any of them. And there might be the idea that there's money to be made. The content is addictive and lots of people are vulnerable to it. Also realise just how many videos are uploaded to YT everyday. A ton of that is hateful stuff and the percentage would still be insignificant. It just seems like a ton. It doesn't have to be when put into perspective.
/r/ExRedPill28/07/22 04:57 PM
-5

Sometimes we hold on to things that aren't good for us. For what turns out to be no reason at all. The way they treat you, why do you want them to present? They don't sound like they'll help any situation they're in. I agree that your absent father and your arguably toxic mother might've caused matters. But your brothers are old enough to be men and that means to take responsiblity, yet they chose to be boys and blame the world. That's their responsibility now. Curiously, I've never viewed JP as…
/r/ExRedPill28/07/22 04:53 PM
2

I mean, then in terms of looks she was fine with you. At least on a picture. That's encouraging to know in general. Go you! As per the rest. I am aware that there are people that seem attractive to everyone, but in my experience that's usually to people that have a very generic perspective on attractiveness. Real clicks are pretty rare for everyone.
/r/ExRedPill28/07/22 04:43 PM
1

Now it's not that I don't have confidence It's always funny when people equate not getting laid with not having confidence. People associate these two way too closely in my mind. In all honesty, it's not really his call, and he definitely doesn't get to be hurt by this. That's just a weird reaction to what's clearly a you issue. So just to get this straight, some guy introduces you to some girl and you hit on her or something more or less out of the blue and then she wasn't interested. Because s…
/r/ExRedPill28/07/22 07:57 AM
1

Understood, not trying to be overbearing. But take a look how she describes her initial impressions. They're all very positive. It's up to you what you do, I wish you all the best in any case. My fear though, is that there's significant precedence. I have a hard time thinking that someone is just a little misogynistic. I can't tell you what gets people out, for some it's hitting rock-bottom. He's vulnerable to an ideology that dehumanises women. Just consider that carefully, please. Not what tha…
/r/ExRedPill27/07/22 04:19 PM
1

Yes. https://www.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/w8b2z9/rich_cooper_destroyed_my_marriage_i_hate_him_and/ TRP promotes all kinds of things, sex as the holy grail is basically in-offensive by comparison. The rabbit hole goes as deep as you're willing to go, it's just difficult to find your way back. Sometimes, it's wiser to not be curious. Your gut instinct was to post here. To a bunch of strangers. Which you wouldn't have done if you thought everything was fine. You see the issues, but cognitive…
/r/ExRedPill26/07/22 05:12 PM
7

I'm really sorry. If it helps, you're doing the right thing. No ifs and buts about it. I know hate is a sin but I hate my husband. Sometimes hate is justified. Necessary even to survive. Sometimes, to hate means we're still alive. That somehow, with all the pain, everything we've endured, we can still resist, and that we haven't yet lost ourselves. Hate as response is very different to hate as an act. But it doesn't matter, what matters is that you honour the gift you've been given the best you …
/r/ExRedPill26/07/22 04:38 PM
1

Even as a casual acquaintance I'd have a hard time putting up with this. So I hope you're not asking in terms of should I be open to a relationship with him. In the latter case, no, not a good plan. At all. He's already showing plenty toxic behaviours, it's only a matter of time before you find yourself on the other end of them.
/r/ExRedPill26/07/22 11:40 AM
8

It's what happens if you spend too much time listening to dehumanising content. Only co-dependent partners would be selected, as "moldable" women or whatever. They're brainwashed, and they're layering manipulative behaviourisms atop genuine pain. Meaning that sooner or later their own subconscious will rebel against them. You think other people can mess you up, lol. Wait til your inner child gets annoyed with you. The resulting character would be easily irritable, to say the least.
/r/ExRedPill25/07/22 06:01 PM
1

Makes sense, red pill isn't interested in resolving them. Quite the contrary. You need to address your insecurities, especially since they were/are able to shape your behaviour in meaningful ways. That means you should consider therapy, basically. day-to-day life seem to be only explained by RedPill. RP doesn't explain anything, it's a lens you can view the world through. But it's logically inconsistent in many ways. Also ask yourself this, do you honestly think that the RPers are the wisest thi…
/r/ExRedPill25/07/22 05:54 PM
21

I wouldn't describe my emotions towards it as hate or contempt. It's a thing that exists, and it's very confusing to people vulnerable to it. And it puts people on the road to becoming dark triad. Not to mention the mayhem they cause in others lives. It doesn't just "not benefit women", it dehumanises them. and it has really changed my life for the better. How so? Especially in light of this: I’ve always been self-hating, I’m a bitter, miserable fucker tbh Doesn't really sound like it did.
/r/ExRedPill25/07/22 09:48 AM
4

So you're interested in picking up social skills, makes sense. One should note, these will differ between people since characters are quite different. Some people are quick to get to know, others slow. Personally, I'd steer clear of substances (including alcohol) altogether. Bars are a no-go? Hmm, I quite like bars tbh. Even on my own. Though I'd bring a book, I like the soft buzz of people in the background. But enough about me. If you're looking for basic social skills you need to spend time w…
/r/ExRedPill25/07/22 08:00 AM
1

What you're describing are attachment styles, of which avoidant attachment is one. Our attachment styles develop during childhood, it's not something you can pick and choose later. Certainly not for nefarious reasons. See here https://www.webmd.com/parenting/what-is-avoidant-attachment Avoidant attachment disorder doesn't mean you cognitively push away women, you're not even distancing yourself from anyone in particular, you're subconsciously in a perpetual state of distance to everyone. Quite l…
/r/ExRedPill24/07/22 09:56 PM
3

There's not a lot to do for you tbh. As heartless as this may seem, this is his problem, not yours. That being said, if you're interested in what he should do... Therapy. Thoughts and pain don't just dissipate over time. Lesser pains might, but anything as deep as is required to shape behaviour requires work. What happens is that people pretend that it's fine, might even be convinced it's fine. Meanwhile they fester inside. For a lifetime. You can't just chose to not have bad thoughts, you need …
/r/ExRedPill24/07/22 09:34 PM
3

Real-world rules, there's no way around it in my mind. You'll know if you're attracted, you'll have a good take on if they're attracted. You'll know if you can hold a conversation. Plenty of non-verbal comms going on, including smell. Online dating is a bit of a mixed bag, and quite heavily skewed. Some people can make it work, but it allows cheating on their profile on their pictures, and it's not an immediate in person meet. You're assuming there's a sensibly working algorithm in the backgroun…
/r/ExRedPill24/07/22 07:01 PM
3

I don't know if it's "common", probably not?! It really depends on the depth of the friendship. If it's a genuine "just friends" situation, then probably never. People aren't machines. We change constantly. In all sorts of ways. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Attraction can build over time, attraction can be lost over time. And even if people remained constant, some people are really deep. Layer upon layer of personality, indeed layer upon layer of beauty is some circumstance…
/r/ExRedPill24/07/22 06:44 PM
15

Weaponised projection.
/r/ExRedPill24/07/22 05:56 PM
3

Go you, well done.
/r/ExRedPill22/07/22 06:09 AM
3

Aeh, I think he just scammed you. He kept the card. You're not down 40 dollars, your down 80 dollars. If he'd hated the card he would've sent it back. Like, complain to ebay or something? I get the thicker skin part, but do aim at resolving the pain at the bottom your soul. That's what outside sources can leverage. Once you've identified, understood, and resolved it (through a combination of therapy/journalling and talking about it) this vulnerability to your soul will no longer present. This ma…
/r/ExRedPill21/07/22 06:29 PM
7

Subscription to any pill, really to any movement, necessitates forfeiture of critical thinking ability in favour of hive-minded thought. BP certainly takes the cake in terms of number of neuroticisms expressed per sentence. I mean, wow! Thank you for demonstrating both so much better than I ever could abstractly.
/r/ExRedPill21/07/22 06:07 PM
2

Appreciate your response. Always happy to be wrong. Why is it better to assume the worst? I don't follow. I'm advocating for a neutral response. That's all. and is reminding you of your value in their eyes. It can be quite confusing to be told "no", and have it immediately followed up with "but you're great, though". I'd err on the side of caution and keep messaging as simple as possible in moments where it matters most. Rejection needs to accepted gracefully be it difficult, but to assume that …
/r/ExRedPill21/07/22 04:39 PM
3

Baseline, stop. The reason you have "zero motivation to connect with them and keep the conversation going" is because you don't care about them. To you, they are NPCs that are to supply your demand of sexual content. I will not advise you on what to text, lol. I'll give you meta-level advice, which you didn't ask for and are more than welcome to ignore. Look inward, discover and develop the relationship with your subconscious to understand what you're hoping to gain from sexting. Believe me, it'…
/r/ExRedPill21/07/22 02:27 PM
10

He's a prime example of clothes make people. With all the bad stuff, I respect how suave he was. He knew how to make all those other wannabes his minions. The more people refer to their own achievements without it coming up naturally in conversation, and the more they talk about status while either explicitly or implicitly associating itself with it, the more insecurity they hold in regards to the topic. The reasons for this may differ, but they always exist. Keep this pattern in mind: Invent me…
/r/ExRedPill21/07/22 02:21 PM
2

Nope, that's fine. Also what's the alternative here, to contort your personality in the hope to correspond to some generic ideal that generic women might like? How is that an alternative? I should add, women aren't uniform, so to answer your question, some women might find it bad, others will not. Good or bad, you can only be yourself and discover who that is. Believe me, if you look deep enough you'll find that you have all of the tools you need. Hobbies or interests aren't dealbreakers bar exc…
/r/ExRedPill21/07/22 02:13 PM
3

These are painfully plain and patronising platitudes. I am cringing by proxy. Genuine emotions, regardless whose, deserve the upmost respect and care. generic platitudes betray this respect, and worse, they often suggest things to be better than they are, risking misleading the other for life. Instead be neutral but clear, say "no[, sorry]". Done. "But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams." Darts is a game, love …
/r/ExRedPill21/07/22 01:04 PM
1

Anytime. Glad if this is helpful.
/r/ExRedPill21/07/22 12:17 PM
2

Ok fair enough. It pays to be careful though. It's easy to ignore what they say while in a good place, but once you're not it can really hit you hard. Nw, you came across well. All the best to you.
/r/ExRedPill20/07/22 05:05 PM
1

Dysfunction is only weird and confusing as long as you don't see it for what it is.
/r/ExRedPill20/07/22 01:29 PM
2

I don't even know what that is, it's clearly going to be messed up. I find that a huge huge red flag Yup, kindly reject this risk factor of a guy. But I lied to him already about a bunch of shit… There are lies and there are people asking about things that aren't any of their business. Still lies, just relatable. He's pushy and already controlling without even having met you. That's all you need to know, it will not get better than this. Only worse.
/r/ExRedPill20/07/22 12:55 PM
4

Like, run? Trust your gut, even if you're wrong it doesn't matter. I mean, you're doubting your assessment, but I was going to quote the key issues with this guy, and then it just didn't stop. He's bad news, doesn't matter if he considers himself ex this or that. Nothing good can come from this. Him saying him and his friend can mold a virgin What the actual fuck. Cancel, ghost, I don't care, just don't spend time with him in any which way.
/r/ExRedPill20/07/22 09:37 AM
1

As a man, no. It would concern me. He's clearly running away from issues he's having still looking for external validation. Once you see it for what it is, there's nothing impressing about it. What is impressive is finding a genuine connection and committing to it. Maybe throw some children into the mix. That's taking responsibility, this is just a boy that's refusing to grow up, if he's in fact telling the truth. I was recently watching this dating/pick up dude on YouTube (for entertainment, do…
/r/ExRedPill20/07/22 09:30 AM
1

The less conscious control you seek to have over an interaction the less nervous about it you'll be. I agree that it's ok to not overstay your welcome, but this doesn't sound like that. If she shows up, say hi, or give her a quick wave as you move past or something. An interaction doesn't have to be long, it's allowed to be, but it doesn't have to be, or meaningful. Simple "hey how's your day going", or "isn't that printer just the most annoying today". I dunno, something relatable. I once had a…
/r/ExRedPill20/07/22 09:25 AM
2

Which makes sense. Because the higher the resolution of your self, the more accurately you'll be able to view others. Good connections are rare, because whereas people can be thought of as belonging to this group or the other, in the end, there's always an individual on the other side. If the number of people you're genuinely attracted to reduces while you're working on maturing emotionally, that to me is both what I expect and what I'd call a good thing. Thank you for sharing, because to the av…
/r/ExRedPill20/07/22 07:49 AM
2

Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but the statement appears to read "they need to make themselves valuable by being impressive". I'm afraid you added the context "to women" just now. In any case, women aren't a uniform group. If you're aiming at a gold-digger, you should amass as great a fortune as you can. Just don't expect to keep it. But if you're looking for a good partner, consider material things to be somewhat of a downward limiter. You want to strive for owning a little, but if being rich is…
/r/ExRedPill19/07/22 05:36 PM
13

do more then just criticize / shame / and make "debunking " This sort of stuff is usually made for people not at risk of the movement. Maybe it's not intended as such, but it's basically virtue signalling aiming at the wrong population. The real issue is an emotional one. And if you ever felt emotional about something, how often did you change your mind when met with criticisms, shame, or debunking? The movement will prime them to resist such attempts. You'll find yourself in a never-ending argu…
/r/ExRedPill19/07/22 05:23 PM
1

It's in the name, "self-"worth. You cannot really give it away, you can only lose it. Others judge us all the time. It's not our choice, and even though we may choose our actions wisely we cannot even choose how we're judged, or for what. But it's our choice how much value we attribute to their judgement. There is no general way, you may choose to live your life dependent on the judgement of others. All I'm saying is that if it's joy that you're after, this is the wrong way. Can a person really …
/r/ExRedPill19/07/22 05:06 PM
1

Appreciate your response. I feel MRAs don't really belong into that list tbh. I get what you're saying, but I deliberately chose not to do so. It seems to me that any guy that has women waiting down the street to be with him becomes a guru to the other ones you mentioned. He can no longer be judged by them, because he reached the tip of their value hierarchy. I'm sure they'd all decidedly disagree, not that it matters, but the ultimate judge within the context of RP and movements similar to it, …
/r/ExRedPill19/07/22 04:50 PM
15

It's not even advice, it's someone asserting they understand the world better than they really do. And then immediately failing. They're trying to manipulate you. By following this advice your self-worth no longer rests with you, but rather with your judges. And the judges in this particular context will be mostly women. This means, that in the pursuit to become an "alpha" male or masculine or valuable, you're signing over the entirety of your self-worth to them. Is that what you mean to do? It …
/r/ExRedPill19/07/22 03:35 PM
5

Yes. Attraction will stay, but the what, the who, and the why change as you grow. But don't assume that just because a man is confident, that it means he has grown. In that way whether or not he is secure in himself is basically meaningless. What matters is how open he is too his self, and if he's aware and has integrated his emotions and vulnerability. And yes, such a person will pick very different partners, because they no longer project their own deficiencies out into the world. But they wil…
/r/ExRedPill19/07/22 01:51 PM
3

This is so touching to read. Thank you for sharing. I'm a man, and I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. Because I understand. Do write about it, so many people see only the destruction, the damage and forget to venture forward to look for more. Lacking tools and afraid to ask for help they stay in the hole that was dug for them. And in that, they provide far more power to their abuser than (s)he ever really held. I feel many people view therapy as something other than what it is, especially w…
/r/ExRedPill18/07/22 09:45 PM
5

I appreciate your response. I appear to have written many words, but I feel they're all relevant. :) Yes, RP may seem like something young desperate men do, because most are unsuccessful in their efforts. And in a way that might even be considered somewhat funny and pathetic. A set of stumbling idiots maybe. But there are real victims to this. In RP that's women, but other movements exist where it's men. To meet a person like that in a phase of vulnerability is terrifying. You don't have to beat…
/r/ExRedPill18/07/22 09:28 PM
4

I'm glad you appear to have experienced post-trauma growth. That's a real achievement. but finally realizing that it was only around certain people This is an prized moment of reflection. It sounds so little but it's a gem. You notice a difference and all of a sudden you start looking for more. And once you start looking you'll find a ton. It's all there, practically in the open. But you do need to notice it once. it was terrifyingly a well-planned program to keep a person trauma bonded RP and m…
/r/ExRedPill18/07/22 05:43 PM
26

It's a human thing, not a gender thing. Abuse always sucks.
/r/ExRedPill18/07/22 05:03 PM
3

Yeah, they'll exist. Be glad she left. Because by the way you're putting it you would've endured that for a while longer. but it ruined my self esteem for quite a while. It's supposed to. Depending on how suggestible you are it can break you as a person. Another version that people often don't have on their radar is hyper-criticality over time. You end up believing you do everything wrong by metric of the other's judgement.
/r/ExRedPill18/07/22 05:02 PM
1

Let's define psychological project real quick, I feel this holds value. From wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection): Psychological projection is the process of misinterpreting what is "inside" as coming from "outside". [...] In its malignant forms, it is a defense mechanism in which the ego defends itself against disowned and highly negative parts of the self by denying their existence in themselves and attributing them to others, [...] A bully may project their own f…
/r/ExRedPill18/07/22 12:56 PM
55

The perpetrator is more or less subtly letting the other know that they're replaceable in order to gain power over the other. What does it do to the relationship? It poisons it. If it wasn't before, this will do it on its own. What does it do to the other person? If they're wise, nothing, because they're already gone. If they're not, there's no real bottom of the barrel. Depression and feelings of worthlessness, say. What is it actually? It's an attempt to mask insecurity and inability to handle…
/r/ExRedPill18/07/22 12:41 PM
1

Any views on OP falling asleep to this stuff? I wonder if that has an impact at all.
/r/ExRedPill18/07/22 06:40 AM
1

Private mode, vpn (honestly, works without as well), no account, reject all cookies. Don't subscribe, and don't interact with channels inside the yt app. Just watch and leave. Or don't watch at all, also works. But there's legitimate content there, just not what you're watching. I found the MLM content pusher base comments interesting. The YT algorithm is pretty basic. It's confusing to me just how much it's sold like this special thing, but in terms of its results, it's rudimentary at best. You…
/r/ExRedPill18/07/22 06:40 AM
1

Unclear. To me, it's basically meaningless. And the original claim that sexiness might just reduce with age at some point basically a truism. It's the same issue with Tinder users. It's not a normal population, you're skewing for narcissism and casual sexers. It's ok if someone then says, Tinder users do the following, but no, it's extrapolated to kingdom come and considered statistical proof for the world population. And that just doesn't follow.
/r/ExRedPill16/07/22 07:42 PM
2

I don't know why you need data for that. It's obvious that you'll confirm your implied claim, that it'll make a difference. Because of course it will. It's the same for porn. If anyone disputes that an 80 year old will get as much attention as a 20 year old of similar relative attractiveness within their age group is either nuts, or has what's commonly referred to as a kink, an off the norm interest. That's it, I've now successfully demonstrated (definitely not a proof) that there is a correlati…
/r/ExRedPill16/07/22 06:29 PM
1

I like defining things, because specific definitions allow understanding, so let's define neurotic behaviour: Neurotic means you’re afflicted by neurosis, a word that has been in use since the 1700s to describe mental, emotional, or physical reactions that are drastic and irrational. At its root, a neurotic behavior is an automatic, unconscious effort to manage deep anxiety. From here: https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/neurotic-behavior-overview That's RP, though this being certainly not exclu…
/r/ExRedPill16/07/22 09:54 AM
13

It's a metric that ignores most of human experience. Are there people of different overall attractiveness in the world, sure. Both subjectively and objectively. So to give that a name is a truism. It's one of many times where the "scene" gives something a name to make it sound like they made up a new concept. Or discovered something new. But it's what's built on it that matters. All of a sudden people are measured against each other in all kind of meaningless ways. Come up with a metric, make it…
/r/ExRedPill15/07/22 07:33 AM
1

The few people of either gender I've met that unironically complained about the other sex where also the least happy people I've met. Listen if you like, just don't be surprised if you end up where they are at. The world is nothing like they describe it, that's how it compares.
/r/ExRedPill14/07/22 02:46 PM
3

Question, do you like her. If not, be kind, don't push and pull. End of. If yes, be kind, don't push and pull. I should add, how you act is very personal, but basically you're looking for answers here for questions she needs to answer. And I doubt she's here. So you should go ask her. My suggestion, go to her, bloody well stop giving her a hard time, it's ok to be pissed off sometimes, but if it stays it says more about you. Ask her if she wants a coffee sometime, you like talking to and spendin…
/r/ExRedPill14/07/22 09:41 AM
1

its a cult aim for the weak minded individuals like me. One of my favourite past times is to logically disprove self-deprecating talk based on the evidence presented. You're reflecting and you're thinking critically. Neither are properties of a weak mind. QED. Thanks for existing. Moving on: Maybe because I have trust issues, I came from a dysfunctional family and narcissistic abuse and also porn addiction. You're drawing the right conclusions. The porn addiction highlights emotional needs that …
/r/ExRedPill14/07/22 09:28 AM
2

If you were to treat this as science I guess it would fall in the category of social sciences, it's not exactly a hard science. No they're not all equal, that doesn't mean they can't hold value. Papers are flawed, stats displayed in a way to match the hypotheses. The author might be dumb, the reviewer might not care or be drunk or bribed. Universities appear to be surprisingly ideological these days. Reliably seeking truth requires extraordinary people with extraordinary minds protected by extra…
/r/ExRedPill14/07/22 09:00 AM
11

The confusion is usually along the following lines. Looks matter, and to some disproportionately so. But they're by far not the only consideration made and "looks" encompass all kinds of things outside of the strict physical realm. It's impossible to look at someone objectively and say they look this well outside of relying on predetermined static measurements or ratios or whatever. Which is not how attraction works. It's always going to be a reflection of what you value in a person as well as y…
/r/ExRedPill13/07/22 05:46 PM
1

I mean, let's not worry about smv, this is like like choices and life direction, way more important. After you're done here you're welcome to worry about it, though. I have a degree but I can’t find a job in my field because I don’t have “experience”. Hmm, in principle any field should have entry level jobs available that don't require experience. I find the argument of a lack of experience for a fresh graduate to be invalid. If you can't find jobs in this particular field, look for similar fiel…
/r/ExRedPill13/07/22 05:32 PM
19

I think that's a fair distinction to make.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/22 04:56 PM
1

I haven't seen any normal guys/women unironically use it. Outside of insecure people. Take a good look at the people calling themselves that and you'll understand that it cannot be true in the way that it's used. It's a classic manipulation tactic used in cults. First define a descriptor of the highest value, then immediately claim it for yourself. The following that stays, believes (in) you. My take, focus on maturing emotionally and you'll basically be a superhero. You won't need armor nor wea…
/r/ExRedPill13/07/22 12:58 PM
1

Maybe it's malicious, but I suspect they have an illusion of success in their life that they're projecting onto you. Just do what I'm doing can't you tell I'm happy?! Cognitive dissonance caused by emotional trauma is a very powerful motivator. But yeah, they don't have anything to share outside of the live they're living.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/22 12:46 PM
5

He found tools to manipulate and now expects to have found the truth that he wants to share with others by writing a book. It's not that far off delusional. Delusional people can make things work for a bit, that's usually where people confuse the self-destructive tailspin for effectiveness. Happens all the time. That's a good recipe for him, let him do what he wants. Free world My guess is that it would be pretty easy to come up with a scenario that affects you in which you would disagree with t…
/r/ExRedPill13/07/22 12:39 PM
4

Forgive me, but I suspect it's a good thing you're not living at his place. In short, no I don't think you'll be able to help him, and nor should you. He's an adult that's more than 20 years your senior (at a guess) and you describe him as having narcissistic tendencies including rage when disagreed with. The issue he's having is that to a point he's discovered a working strategy based on deception and materials. So don't read it. And let him write all the books he likes. And honestly, the less …
/r/ExRedPill13/07/22 12:27 PM
1

Simplifying women and making it an "Easy" way to get what you lack. If you mean women by this, I can guarantee you that women aren't what you need. They're not magical, and if your need is that deep, they won't be able to provide it. People don't complete people.
/r/ExRedPill08/07/22 06:35 PM
2

Anything that doesn't fall under the umbrella of decency.
/r/ExRedPill08/07/22 06:29 PM
5

I'm sorry, but you don't sound well. I'm not disgusted or anything, but I think it's a good idea to talk to someone about it. Right at the bottom of all of this, there's usually something entirely different. It's normal that people don't look for it, though they should.
/r/ExRedPill08/07/22 06:28 PM
7

They fear that they are not rich enough, have good enough genes or are high enough in social hierarchy or all of the above. Even if they "win" the game, it's rooted in insecurity. Meaning they've already lost themselves in pursuit of materials to make up for that fact. We always want something better and pretty much always aim for best we can get. This is not true, there is wisdom in limiting your opportunities.
/r/ExRedPill08/07/22 06:21 PM
1

I am new to game. That's a good time to stop, then. :) I've been quite negative on dating advice online before, so I went out and had a look if I'm actually correct lol. There are ton of non-useful people out there for sure, but they're pretty easy to spot. I find Courtney Ryan to be pleasantly balanced. So, I'm not entirely correct, there are some people out there giving actually good advice. But if you're ready for what she has to say when you're unironically talking about "banging girls", thi…
/r/ExRedPill07/07/22 04:02 PM
1

Rule of thumb, spend as much time in the movement outside the movement. Get therapy. At the bottom of this is pain and fear. These are both you issues. As you heal your perception of women (really of people and the world) will change. For that you need help and time. On your own, start asking why you feel the way you feel, and what specifically you're feeling. Mostly people feel angry and leave it at that. But anger is a signal, left unquestioned it can wreak havoc. It's analysis of anger that l…
/r/ExRedPill05/07/22 09:22 PM
2

I mean, leaving comments to me isn't the same thing as trying to pull you back in, they're insulting you (from their perspective) because you think differently. That's only ever an insult to the person saying it. Ultimately you need to address the emotional needs you have that made you enter the manosphere in the first place. And once you addressed it it won't matter what they say.
/r/ExRedPill05/07/22 08:46 PM
5

Have you considered just asking her what she's feeling and why? It certainly appears hard to follow. Have there been other such situations? I wouldn't worry about pills in this regard, they don't help. She's clearly not doing well on an individual level if the situation is as you described it. Sometimes it's ok to stay, sometimes it's ok to leave. It requires wisdom to tell one from the other.
/r/ExRedPill05/07/22 08:24 PM
1

Some people lack the emotional maturity to stay, some lack the emotional maturity to remain bearable while off center. Goes for men goes for women. There are plenty of reasons why a partner was a bad choice. And there plenty of reasons to leave someone when they're in trouble. Your post is along the lines of "watch what they do". But that's short sighted when compared to "why they do the thing that they do". There are valid reasons to leave and there are those that are not. In general, character…
/r/ExRedPill05/07/22 07:50 PM
2

makes me want to end it all Ok, if that's not a joke, get help. Get a professional. Start talking. No one is worth getting this upset about your own life. I used to be good but I progressively got worse through my bad fapping addiction. Correlation vs causation. I suspect you're a bit thirsty and that's causing both. Look, it happens, but you need to address the underlying issue. Outside of the biological aspect that usually has to do with self-worth you're hoping to acquire from the outside wor…
/r/ExRedPill05/07/22 11:51 AM
3

I completely understand. That's why it needs to be constant decision. Go there. And if you feel good on the day even better. It's always good to go to therapy in a good mood. And bring some humour with you, too. From a subconscious perspective you're doing the right thing, so by that fact alone you might be feeling better as the day approaches, just don't misunderstand what it means, it's hope, it doesn't mean you're better, it just means you're on the right track. How you feel in the moment doe…
/r/ExRedPill05/07/22 09:45 AM
1

I think you'll need to delete your accounts to, otherwise they'll forever show up in your suggestions. I think a good rule of thumb is to allow for a similar timescale out of the cult as you spent in the cult. If that's four years, it's four years. Give it time, clearly don't date while you have these thoughts, and consider counselling or therapy. RP is about hurt, which means there's pain in you which needs addressing, otherwise there's a risk that you'll only ever be a pausing addict.
/r/ExRedPill05/07/22 08:52 AM
7

If someone, anyone, doesn't appreciate honest and genuine vulnerability then they're not in a good place and you should keep your distance. By redpill logic There's no such thing. The point is that you worry and keep coming back. We talked it out and she apologized and I felt good because before I had it all bottled up inside me and was in alot of emotional pain and hurt and couldn’t stop thinking of it. That's reason enough to do it every time. It doesn't matter if she's interested in you or no…
/r/ExRedPill05/07/22 08:49 AM
7

Views are cheap and can be bought. Clear your cookies create a new account and see if it's still the same. The algorithm doesn't care if you're subscribed or not it only cares if this is something you previously enjoyed watching for fits a similar category. You're in the social media echo chamber. You'll basically need to delete your accounts and set up new ones. Or just skip that last part.
/r/ExRedPill05/07/22 08:44 AM
2

No worries, it's a really important topic, it needs talking about. I've kept this as concise as I could. I already had two appointments with two different therapists but canceled them before actually starting therapy. Interesting. What would you say was your reasoning at the time to not go? I made another appointment a few days ago and I try to go there this time. Please don't try, do go. Make it a constant in your decision tree to go there for at least a year to actually allow to see it beginni…
/r/ExRedPill05/07/22 08:39 AM
7

I have fantasies of men hitting and abusing me, because I think that's what I deserve. That's a strong indication of childhood trauma. Maybe you know this, but since we're talking: when someone gets traumatised the brain prioritises immediate survival over everything else. That means situations don't get stored as memories. All focus is on getting through the issue at hand. But if painful memories aren't then processed in a safe environment later, the imprint stays in your brain as if it was hap…
/r/ExRedPill04/07/22 07:32 PM
1

Absent without leave. I.e. expected to be there, but nowhere to be found.
/r/ExRedPill04/07/22 06:04 PM
21

My suspicion, it's something along the lines of "go to the gym" and "sort your finances out". My mind is blown.
/r/ExRedPill04/07/22 10:16 AM
17

is a pretty fantastic education for men to go through Any cult will have entry-level truths that are supposed to be either true or close enough to the truth to make the transition easier. So the fact that some of the stuff they say turns out to be true isn't a revelation. and the brash way it's often delivered is such a relief Don't confuse the way information is communicated to you with its value. Even if you find the delivery "charming". I think a lot of the guys who deliver the information ho…
/r/ExRedPill04/07/22 10:15 AM
1

I think it might be normal to feel insecure about your body as you're growing up. What's great is that the world was capable to communicate to you quite clearly that you're fine as is. Honestly, that's a gift. Fasting to not gain fat on its own isn't an issue. Fasting is pretty healthy from what I understand. There's a difference between fasting and having an eating disorder. But the way you're putting it, it doesn't sound like one. Cosmetic surgeries are pretty risky. Issue is, you know what yo…
/r/ExRedPill03/07/22 09:45 PM
12

BP is hyperneurotic. Even more that RP it's repeatedly asking you "do you trust a complete stranger on the internet with zero credentials who definitely is depressed" and "would you like to be depressed, too". I watched something about analysing facia structures in an amount of detail that just wouldn't occur to me and then concluding somewhat arbitrary standards of male beauty. It was very shallow and very authorative at the same time. Getting depressed watching this is a perfectly normal react…
/r/ExRedPill03/07/22 09:14 PM
3

The origins will be set during childhood. Including the classic markers like not crying, dominance, alpha status, reliance on external material instead of self. You don't just turn around one day and change into that unless you were already vulnerable due to the way (or entire lack of how) you were brought up. This likely leads to a string of unhealthy relationships which will be blamed, but as an experience they're just not meaningful enough compared to their childhood experiences which set out…
/r/ExRedPill03/07/22 02:12 PM
8

Good on you for noticing your own fear, let alone openly admitting it, it's difficult and takes a lot of courage. Go you!
/r/ExRedPill02/07/22 05:49 PM
3

I think it's stereotypical in RP, say. But not when facing off normal people. To convince someone to be with you is a can of worms, because they needed convincing, which means a continuous effort on your part to make sure it stays that way. It's unwise at best, pathetic at worst. Look for the people that don't need convincing. That doesn't mean you can't take responsibility for yourself in that you're acceptable to such a party, say hygiene, some sort of job, good bloody character. Aim to get to…
/r/ExRedPill02/07/22 09:47 AM
2

Wise thoughts. Not repeated but discovered for yourself. So they'll stick. It's normal to want to shape your personality for a while. That way you learn who you really are. Basically all that you cannot change, lol. You've chosen to appreciate you, that'll move you closer to yourself and will open up an entirely new perspective on life. So far you may mostly have spent time on changing who you are, but imagine what might happen when you discover what is possible as the person that you are. There…
/r/ExRedPill02/07/22 09:35 AM
30

RP is based (among other things) in fear of abandonment and fear of irrelevance. If your wife needs you as much as a dog needs their owner, then both risks have been minimised. A dog won't hurt you, basically. Because you own it, and you own the entire supply chain as far as its concerned. Personally, I view it as a projection of their own childhood trauma on the world. They want others to be as helpless as they felt. And I even doubt that it's conscious for them. They don't strike me particular…
/r/ExRedPill02/07/22 09:26 AM
3

No apology necessary. tldr: How am I supposed to interact with women and feel valued by them In order to feel valued by anyone, we must first value ourselves. What's happening here in my eyes is that you're pre-selecting women that aren't great for you because your subconscious is signalling to you an internal conflict of self-worth projected on the world around you. I'm not saying what you're feeling and seeing in the world isn't real. But it's the things you're disproportionally drawn to based…
/r/ExRedPill30/06/22 08:39 PM
2

V. :) It is quite incredible, isn't it. All of a sudden one realises, "oh that's where my keys were this entire time, I've been looking all over, for all my life". It seems to me that the greatest pain is pain we inflict on ourselves, without even realising as much. Forgotten, that pain stays with us, fail we to connect the dots, indistinguishable from normality. What an explosive idea then to ponder for even a mere moment that it might not need to be this way! It’s a lot easier for me to proces…
/r/ExRedPill30/06/22 05:06 PM
1

Hmm, let me ponder on that. I hadn't noticed that OP described it as a turn off to women, mind point out what you mean? I might've misunderstood. that inner child is also an enormous turn-off to women Out of curiousity, what do you mean when you say inner child? Also, can you describe your comment in more words. I'd be interested in hearing it.
/r/ExRedPill30/06/22 04:45 PM
2

This reminds me of Pullman's His Dark Materials, having the children split from their daemons using a type of blade. It's quite astute. The children are left somewhat numb and cold. As if they no longer know what to do with themselves. To actively not cry is the equivalent of killing your inner child. It's incredibly resilient to outside forces, really amazingly so, but it's very vulnerable to our treatment. The difference between survival and death often comes down to a mere thought. I hope you…
/r/ExRedPill29/06/22 09:40 PM
1

I've seen both. Some women in my eyes know better than to do this and they still do. It's not all, but it's also not always the guys' fault. The best solution is good communication from both sides. That's allowed to include a no text rule and/or blocking. It definitely gets the point across. Though even there, lol, "oh I'm sure she blocked me by accident". Rejection-wise, guys are optimists I think. :) I fear what most men get wrong is that just because a woman is being nice to them isn't an ind…
/r/ExRedPill29/06/22 08:47 AM
2

It seems to me that young women also quite frequently use bro to refer to each other. So at least in its usage I'm not convinced it's quite as gendered as you're assuming it to be. One should also note that "ho" doesn't exactly describe "high-quality reliable human". So I'm sure it's wrong however RP use it, because that's what they do, they get things wrong, but in principle, I think there's truth to this particular saying, depending on perspective taken.
/r/ExRedPill29/06/22 08:40 AM
0

I dunno. I don't think men are that bad either. But yeah, it pays to know who you have around. And few people are reliable. Why Redpill is targeting women and not men? Because it's that sort of movement. I'm sure there are alternatives for the other sex.
/r/ExRedPill29/06/22 08:24 AM
5

I wasn't aware of those numbers and I shall promptly forget them. It's supposed to make women feel insecure and give men the illusion of grandeur. So many guys fail to even reach 30 in a reasonably put together way. Look at the RP lot, they're washed out. They never moved past their highschool/college days. Only their bodies did. And they've brainwashed themselves into believing that those days will never pass. Do you think they'll change their mind when they're turning 50? Nope, 60 is the new 5…
/r/ExRedPill29/06/22 08:18 AM
6

then I lied and said I just wanted to be friends I felt like shit because I wasn’t getting what I wanted I don’t mind being her friend I like her as a friend is because I think she hot What should I do and I’m delusional for keep being friends with her I don't really understand your question. You start of with you lying about wanting to be friends. Nothing changed since then. The relationship didn't change. You're hanging around hoping to have sex with her. Be that guy if you like. But please do…
/r/ExRedPill29/06/22 07:55 AM
14

tldr: they're all stupid, right, was that the question. Well that's the answer. They're all dumb. All of them. Please seize to seek wisdom in a toilet bowl. You will not be able to have an intimate relationship without showing vulnerability. It's not "beneficial", it's a requirement. And if some people don't like that, then leave. Being alone is much healthier than sticking to the arbitrary rules of an emotional husk. Honestly, if a group like this laughs at you you must be doing something right…
/r/ExRedPill28/06/22 09:16 AM
3

No dread, but that the answers and the meaning lie within, not outside of you. As soon as you understand that, all of this just goes away.
/r/ExRedPill28/06/22 08:42 AM
13

I think it's generally good advice to only have sex with someone that you'd be willing to have a kid with.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 02:49 PM
1

If you don't know if it was him, then you don't know. Also I'm not sure what insulting a thief will do. He already knows what he is. And I just feel like in front of her I could have made myself seem more masculine. To what end? To make yourself seem more desirable than you are? Does that sound masculine to you? I'd stop it with the deliberately stern tone, if it's not genuine it's not going to come out as such, and if it were, you wouldn't have thought to mention it here. Aim to say what you me…
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 02:23 PM
1

Everyone is capable of change. It's all about tools. Therapy is good, but you can also find counsellors, charities, and organisations that train counsellors/therapists. They're not expensive. If you don't hold a job right now, do get one. Structure is pretty critical. Other than that, journal your thoughts your pain with intent to find out what hurts and why. Pain seems to be obvious but rarely is. It may not be up to you what you look like, but it is up to you who you are. The direction is inwa…
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 02:04 PM
1

I think there's a difference between hey my name is Joe, nice to meet you, my last girlfriend broke my heart and mutual histories coming up naturally and you being open about them when they do. Openness is important and a plus, but if you feel like unpacking previous trauma on the first date, then you probably need to find a professional listener, instead. That being said, if you're worried about it coming up and she thinking less of you for being cheated on, then rest assured, she's no good eit…
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 01:40 PM
1

It appears to me it is reasonable to criticise all kinds of people for all kinds of things, including myself. We don't all have to think alike. But I recognise that we will not see eye to eye on this. I'm ok with that, nor do I judge you for it.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 08:18 AM
1

I respect your opinion. I fear time will tell. I wish you all the best in any case.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/22 08:13 AM
1

I fear cannot make it any more understandable than I already have done. It's all there.
/r/ExRedPill26/06/22 05:37 PM
1

Whether or not you have hobbies is immaterial to this particular issue.
/r/ExRedPill26/06/22 05:35 PM
1

Sure, just not with intend to subdue and overcome, rather with intent to listen, understand, and see them for what they are so that the pain at their root becomes clear. Then aim to process that pain. Most people try to avoid pain. Many people try to overcome their fears with force. Hardly anyone spends time on even trying to understand what they mean. But you go to a therapists office, that's exactly what you'll be doing.
/r/ExRedPill26/06/22 04:23 PM
2

Journal your feelings, ask yourself what hurts, what you want and need. The key is to understand that there is someone underneath you. The largest part of you is separate from you by default. The way to get in touch with it is by iterating on the above. Look at any pain you might feel. Everything that hurts for a reason that you cannot quite put your finger on is a signal. Dreams, too. All of that deserves reflection and analysis. Look at all of the things and ask yourself why. Why does it hurt?…
/r/ExRedPill26/06/22 03:28 PM
1

tldr: nope. If you want to be in a relationship without a specific other in mind (one that's not replaceable), then it's about you. How can I learn to be happy while single? Happiness isn't related to relationship status. What you're missing is a solid connection to yourself. Your subconscious is signalling to you that it yearns for a relationship projected to the outside world. But it's a symbolic way to refer back to you. Subconscious likes symbols. How you ask? Journal your feelings, ask your…
/r/ExRedPill26/06/22 11:01 AM
6

To me personally, a "shit test" is a reason to disengage completely, man/woman I don't care. I sense it, I'm gone. Shit testing is a surefire way to make you trivially manipulatable. Nor are they helpful, any self-respecting person is just going to walk away from you. But then you do a switcharoo and say they failed the test. It's so dumb. I can't even pretend to vibe. can't the high rates of success reported by PUAs Please don't trust someone that considers manipulating women into sleeping with…
/r/ExRedPill26/06/22 10:51 AM
3

Ha, that's tears to my eyes. Thank you for seeing me. We meet again. Kindred spirits. :) It'd be interested in hearing an eloquent argument as to why one shouldn't start with a job. Addressing trauma can take a really long time, and whereas I'm pro working through pain, it's a bit (... a lot) like building muscle. It doesn't build during exercise. It builds during rest periods (so long it's rest from work lol). Which means you need something to do the remaining hours of the day. From that point …
/r/ExRedPill26/06/22 10:11 AM
2

Life can be complex and beautiful sometimes. But there's a real difference between this happened once and I seem to be doing it every time I go to the club. But having them regularly is weird and not okay. Nobody can keep them from doing it. You can only impart wisdom and hope it lands. Some will do this for a while and begin to understand how it's bad. Other's won't. It's impossible to force a realisation on others. You can't be acting on your every desire. The sad story is that while they thin…
/r/ExRedPill25/06/22 07:26 PM
31

This is more general life-advice. Start with a job. If you have a job aim at a job you like, if you have a job you like, become good at it. If you don't know what you'd like to do it'll pay to try out a few things out. You'll likely have to do some work you don't enjoy until then. But ideally they always have a target in mind. That just gets the work out of the way. In terms of mental health. Find groups where you can spend some time with people (like sports clubs/book clubs/whichever). Exercise…
/r/ExRedPill25/06/22 04:12 PM
13

I’m certain I was used every single time. I fear this to be an outcome of the relationship/sex first, maybe heal later, do I even need to way of thinking that most people appear drawn to. If you're not healthy, you'll attract people in a similar state. They'll confirm that which you already thought to be true, because from the outset that was what is compatible to you as you currently are. It's cyclic. It only seems as if you're meeting "outside people", in reality you're meeting people that man…
/r/ExRedPill25/06/22 09:24 AM
5

You need to go inward and figure out who you are and what makes you tick. +1 A slight addition that's often missed when people complain about, but all women I know behave like this. People attract and notice people compatible with them. This is where a lack of mental health can be really treacherous, because you'll subconsciously attract those of a similar ilk or perceive behaviour through that lense. You could pass the others in the street even meet them, but they are unlikely to register. Not …
/r/ExRedPill25/06/22 09:00 AM
-1

In general, if your previous stance on a matter was radical. I wouldn't trust the next few iterations because they're likely to be similarly radical. Seems to me you went from one extreme to the other. From hating some women for casual sexing to hailing it. Just because RP says A, doesn't mean the opposite of A is the right way, either. It's a perfectly reasonable viewpoint to criticise the notion of casual sex. But people are allowed to do it. Though I doubt they'd survive long in my friendship…
/r/ExRedPill25/06/22 08:54 AM
1

Once you're married to someone that unironically shit-tests you, that's a bit of an issue, I'd say. I feel the default state should be to disregard any "test" in any case. It's a weird thing to be doing. I guess the grown up thing would be to talk to her about it.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/22 08:44 PM
2

First of all, good for you. Best of luck on your journey. It's hilarious that they would invite an actual psychologist to debate since they've clearly spent enough time in their echo chamber to think they're in any way comparable. Narcissism in action. Way to shoot yourself in both feet. Seeing and hearing this just solidified my need to go outside TRP community. Good for you. They had solutions that were wise: maintain your health, work hard, be well groomed, lift, just to name a few. I'm glad …
/r/ExRedPill24/06/22 08:40 PM
1

I think as per social media a lot more people openly record their narcissism. What seems to have gotten worse since their inception is depression. It's a bit like sugar and alcohol. You'd have to be stupid to consume any of it, yet so many do without questioning it. I can only say, get off it. These "services" have psychologists working to make sure they're addictive. Producing negative emotions of not being good enough is one of the best ways to make people addicted. It also puts you in the moo…
/r/ExRedPill23/06/22 09:30 AM
2

Why are men (amab) pushed to not show our emotions. RP isn't wise. Don't expect them to do or say wise things. The same is true for any ideologue. To succumb to a strict movement necessitates standing for stupid things. Many victims of child-abuse idealise their parents. Mainly because the alternative is to realise that you might not have been loved at all. That's a terrifying thought and requires courage to even honestly consider for oneself. What you're seeing aren't necessarily bad people (th…
/r/ExRedPill20/06/22 06:31 PM
4

women want masculinity, muscles, power, things i never liked or wanted Honestly, that's your answer then. Why care about something that you don't care about. Your perspective on life matters. Because no matter what it is, you'll attract people, men and women, that are compatible with it. Meaning if you view women as above, then that's all you'll see. RP is an internal conflict. It's very much an inner quest for self-love projected on women. i just want a woman who loves me This doesn't make sens…
/r/ExRedPill20/06/22 06:05 PM
1

Hmm, you're clearly going through some stuff, sorry to hear that. Sounds like you had some bad experiences. Women want to look UP to their man. I mean, sure. But it really depends on what that means to you. And honestly, if you find a way to be yourself, that is fully integrated with your emotions, wishes, and needs, people will look up to you. At least anyone that's worth their salt. I think it's just something that people have to figure out between them. If that's the sort of relationship you'…
/r/ExRedPill17/06/22 08:20 AM
1

Anytime. I have no doubt. Maybe I can give you some hope: The fact that you're capable of perceiving this as a possible issue, the fact that you show agency to resolve it (be it as simple as asking a question), as you are here, it means you weren't broken. Be proud of that. It's a gift from your subconscious to you. You're strong, but you'll need healing, and you'll need some help. The journey might be long, but I promise you it'll be meaningful. All the best.
/r/ExRedPill16/06/22 05:01 PM
4

I'm really sorry, that wasn't your fault, and still it's your weight to bear right now. I really don't like the word Incel. Though I understand it's meaning. Honestly, yeah, absolutely. Your experiences shape you, the earlier they are the more they will. Have a look for example at attachment disorder and how it can be caused. If you came out of your situation with even a shred of empathy for others, you've already won in my eyes. but I do wish to escape misogyny and a mentality of hate. Go you. …
/r/ExRedPill16/06/22 04:28 PM
4

Assuming that this was due to you, which I still doubt. You don't blame the butterfly for the storm, so don't blame yourself. I think a reasonable question to ask yourself is if you were misrepresenting them. That wouldn't be honourable. But it doesn't sound like this is that. Both consistently said outrageous things in order to gain attention. I'd be hard-pressed to misrepresent them in a way that would actually make things sound worse than they are. Honestly, there are certain people where it'…
/r/ExRedPill16/06/22 02:35 PM
11

I imagine because they're pretty shitty without any redeeming features. It takes a while for enough people to see that, but eventually they do. Don't feel bad for them lol, if someone talks rubbish this consistently at some point they annoyed enough people. Their views are stupid and demeaning. It's only reasonable to disagree with them. I feel this is superfluous, but you're not at fault for criticising them, even if that got them banned.
/r/ExRedPill16/06/22 08:38 AM
1

Things like attention, time, and money, basically. Anything you're putting in that isn't coming back in a balanced way. I don't subscribe to the notion of viewing relationships as transactional, but any relation has a transactional element to it, that deserves a little attention over time. For example, who gets in touch with whom, is it always you? Do you ever get the feeling that the relationship would just stop if you ever didn't get in touch, say? And when they do, is there a sense of "becaus…
/r/ExRedPill16/06/22 08:32 AM
20

Honestly, you sound fine from what I can tell. Obviously putting numbers on people necessarily falls short in describing their value as a person. But I get it. It's generally a bit like this. If you fancy people that fancy you, you're pretty golden. It sounds like some of them cared for you. In terms of not getting used, whereas it's important (I would say) to not play a relationship tit-for-tat, it also pays to be aware of the general inputs into a relationship and where they're coming from. Th…
/r/ExRedPill15/06/22 07:45 PM
1

Honestly, they think about as far as their own wallet. Why do they do it? Because there are people willing to pay for it. Doesn't make sense? Doesn't matter. It's not about long-term consequences. It's about selling a rulebook for a hedonistic lifestyle (which by definition cannot make you happier) to people that have been convinced it will.
/r/ExRedPill14/06/22 02:08 PM
3

I think there's a difference between being vulnerable and feeling sorry for yourself. I (a man) for example, don't want to be friends with someone who consistently feels bad for themselves. And I'm not a woman. I'm happy to help and listen, but after a while, it's a decision to wallow. I've had two friends like this. After a while the negativity started to affect me. Once I noticed I wasn't exactly keen to stay in touch. What I'm getting at, is lots of the things that are being complained about …
/r/ExRedPill13/06/22 04:38 PM
1

Sorry, been meaning to get back to this. Quite right, I've seen people use empath as a shield while they make no qualms about hurting people. It's really confusing the first few times, but then it's like "ah, you're lying, got it!" I will definitely take a step back and let him lead. I think it's ok to ask him how he feels. And why he feels that RP helps him. The answer might be quite interesting. It's just quite easy to fall into the trap of an ideological shouting match. These usually don't he…
/r/ExRedPill13/06/22 04:22 PM
1

I think being Stoic is fine, personally. But it has to come inside out, it doesn't start with mannerisms. Personally, I find there to be a ton of wisdom in Stoicism. But players on youtube usually use the word without understanding the underlying principles. They're using it as an excuse to suppress emotions, which isn't the same thing. Anyway. You were being "successful" by faking a "personality" that better matched the other person using psychological hooks that dysfunctional and insecure wome…
/r/ExRedPill13/06/22 04:09 PM
2

Love is an ability. Most people seem to think that it's something people can just do. It has to be learnt and lived. And it starts with your relationship with your self. but I hate this planet. I mean, it's not the planets fault. :) All this time eating healthy, training as hard as I can, Ice baths cold showers, no fap/sr, meditation I'm all for good habits, but you're expecting meaning out of action. Meaning must precede action for action to be meaningful. Action cannot provide meaning. I don’t…
/r/ExRedPill10/06/22 12:40 PM
2

Huh, it's interesting to me that he would marry an "empath" that puts down his own sister. Anyone who puts down anyone else will basically try to put down everyone in some form. She no good. That's all there is to it. It's good that she left. There were signs but they didn't register as meaningful with your brother. That to me is the real problem at his core, he doesn't appear to have a balanced view of women, which would make him vulnerable to RP et al. Support from others is always good, but i…
/r/ExRedPill10/06/22 12:10 PM
9

Strictly speaking it's an ideology, not a philosophy. But good for you. Maybe it started as a good thing, but it attracted more damaged people than not, and over time they overtook. You don't need a movement for self-actualisation. What are they going to tell you? How to undergo a hugely personal process? I think not. It's all up to you. Besides, the men that "reign" the "manosphere" are little more than children. The issue that I see is, if you make a movement for all them single men (or women)…
/r/ExRedPill06/06/22 03:57 PM
1

You must decide. RP isn't good for you. It only serves to confirm your negative biases. Life isn't always easy, but it's up to us to make it as good as we can. And that starts internally. Figure out your hurt and process your pain, then come back to any sort of relationships. RP isn't a way out, it's just a "it's all broken" mantra, it'll lead you nowhere. It's just not a useful ideology.
/r/ExRedPill06/06/22 03:52 PM
2

I mean, of course. Issue being, depending on where you're at you'll see what you want to see. The question isn't so much what reality is like, but rather what you want to see. Reality can seem like all kinds of things. It'll be trivial to find examples in the real world that support RP ideology. But that doesn't make it true.
/r/ExRedPill06/06/22 03:39 PM
1

However when I found out she only wanted to be with me because of subjective, superficial stuff, I won't lie, that tore me up. How come? What specifically hurt you so deeply about her being shallow? Can you pin-point the emotion? I'd understand being almost torn up by you being shitty and regretting it, but if she's the bad one why would you feel bad? There's no regrets here from what I can tell, you were wrong about her. That's all. how could my dreams of finding a monogamous relationship with …
/r/ExRedPill06/06/22 01:35 PM
3

social media stars and pop culture icons These are not role-models. They're just famous because they fancy themselves. Keep that in mind, please. I quite like this quote: "If you lose money you lose a little, if you lose health you lose a lot, if you lose character you've lost everything." Kindness or being good only seems to be for the other, but far more, it's to find peace in yourself. If the price of dating is to not be kind then how is it ever supposed to be worth it? Other people don't nee…
/r/ExRedPill05/06/22 10:44 AM
3

Lol. Thanks for the support. It would help if they left a comment letting me know why, huh?! Gave you an upvote, though. ;) Having reread it again the only possible conclusion I could come to is that they cannot have read it carefully enough. Pain unaddressed comes out in funny ways it seems. It also makes people jump to conclusions for which there's no basis. :)
/r/ExRedPill05/06/22 10:15 AM
1

Thanks, man. I really appreciate that. Let's just say at some point I was getting a little tired of feeling bad about myself and tried to make sense of it. Books ftw. :)
/r/ExRedPill05/06/22 09:58 AM
1

Hey, thanks for responding. I wouldn't necessarily say I'm as easily persuaded by those RedPill ideologies as I was used to as a kid. That's great. Sorry if I overstepped at any point, that wasn't my intention. I'm still slightly more sensitive to these cults' theories than I'd like to be ATM. I guess my question would by if you addressed anything internal, like pain or any of the like or if so far you've "only" addressed real life mannerisms. Both are powerful, but it seems to me many forget th…
/r/ExRedPill05/06/22 09:54 AM
-5

It's what happens when you dehumanise any group of people or individuals. People that were abused but never had the courage/strength and/or toolkit/support to work through it finally don't have to be the victim anymore in what they view as a justified setting. You can track that through history, too. Hitler was abused by his father Alois, who himself had been born out of wedlock to a Jewish father, a great shame to their family. Hitler wanted to flee his home at 11. But couldn't. Then history ha…
/r/ExRedPill04/06/22 10:56 AM
2

Fair enough. You sound like a good friend to have. Go you. That being said, he's clearly in a downward spiral. I'd suggest an exit, personally. Maybe not right now, but if there's no willingness to better over the course of, say, three months, I think it's ok to call it a day. I think it's ok to let him know why, though. It's all about pain. The rejection itself isn't the issue. Rather it acted as a needle going into an open wound. Unless your guy addresses that, or even wants to, he's basically…
/r/ExRedPill04/06/22 08:56 AM
2

I mean you say you want to detox, but then why read up stuff like this online. That's cognitively dissonant. The mind can be quite treacherous in its front-level conclusions, especially if you're vulnerable (as you appear to have been) to all sort of exploitative movements/ideologies. You say all the right things, but honestly, I have trouble believing you. If you felt all of these things and viewed them as normal, it wouldn't occur to you to mention them. But you do, in detail. If you want to d…
/r/ExRedPill04/06/22 08:38 AM
2

Women like this will undoubtedly exist, but by saying that women in general behave like this I fear you made it quite deep into the rabbit hole. No money/status in the world will be capable of buying an emotional connection. they should compete for this(money or status maxx) As you say, "they" should, but do they? My honest advice is, unless you're trying to get played, don't play that particular game. Women aren't a uniform group, and if you aim at the worst of them, you'll get the worst, no ma…
/r/ExRedPill04/06/22 08:07 AM
1

What are their views on: * Being emotional in front of women. * Putting an emphasis on emotional connections. * Waiting with sex, getting to know the other. * Family having value. If they're opposed to one of those, they're unhealthy. It doesn't matter if they're RP or not. Edit: Honestly, it's probably solid to stop looking online for dating advice.
/r/ExRedPill04/06/22 08:01 AM
11

That's fine. I can see where you're coming from. I don't know if it's the coward's way out. I personally am not a super big fan of seeking hookups and flings. But occasionally life happens. As with anything, too much of it points at a pathological problem. I'd much rather people sorted those out instead of risking possible life generation with a stranger or whatever else could happen. There are people on here that genuinely ask themselves if I don't hire someone, will this ever happen, and if it…
/r/ExRedPill03/06/22 04:46 PM
1

This seems to give men a green light to give their shitty advice. Brilliant. :) Kind of true. Yup, wear cologne, that's it. Case closed. If it doesn't work grow a beard. Most people don't give good advice. Because most people aren't aware of how things work. In terms of dating advice I received most of it is platitudes that wouldn't help a Mayfly survive the week. So yes, do ask, but don't feel weird if their advice doesn't map to your situation. When detecting insecurity most people project the…
/r/ExRedPill02/06/22 04:35 PM
8

Sure. If you look at Liam Neeson or Daniel Craig, for example. And I mean really look at their faces, neither of them is pretty in my eyes. No offense you two. :) But both of them have an expression that makes them look attractive. That's an incredibly important distinction, a body/face in isolation and how you fill it with life. Some faces are pretty in principle, but paint a dull expression on it, then that's that. Even worse if it's a dull character. To me then, it's really important that som…
/r/ExRedPill01/06/22 09:15 PM
1

Why was I previously mostly sexually attracted to men who were bigger, stronger and more financially stable than myself, if I was very much against sexism and gender roles? What you think is not necessarily what you do. That's cognitive dissonance. It's not sexist to find bigger stronger men attractive, that's very much a you situation. It's when you associate virtues or otherwise unrelated attributes to their sex. I.e. a man is more virtuous than a woman because he's a man. It's all about the a…
/r/ExRedPill01/06/22 11:52 AM
9

You should be capable of being openly vulnerable. That doesn't mean you have to wear your emotions on your sleeves at all times. But at the very least you should be open to yourself about the things that hurt you and why, and that you are in fact in pain. In order to be a man you need to become a mature adult. That includes you being able to appropriately communicate your feelings/emotions/vulnerabilities to basically anyone. Most people are very insecure about crying. Don't be. It's necessary t…
/r/ExRedPill01/06/22 11:27 AM
1

TRP is weird, no worries. Whatever the situation is in real life RP will not help. That being said, there are entry-level components that just make sense to any normal person. If you want a good relationship (even just with yourself) you might want to consider finding a job you like and be good at it, take care of yourself emotionally and physically. And you know, buy a few clothes. RP doesn't have a monopoly on self-improvement. This is where many people seem to get confused. The issue from my …
/r/ExRedPill01/06/22 06:27 AM
2

I don't know if "men's improvement" even exists on social media or YT. But hey why not. Youtube is for making money. Show me a youtuber that demonetises their own videos and has a normal job next to it and I'll believe you that that's not what they're trying to do. Honestly, by the time you watch one I'd assume they're RP or something similar. Then look for consistent signs that this assessment is consistently wrong. Key component, after watching, do you feel uplifted or not? Do they urge you to…
/r/ExRedPill31/05/22 01:44 PM
1

I think it's fine to be aware of your preferences including physical ones. I guess the issue here is that your statement didn't just read I just don't find it that attractive if a woman is taller than me, which I think is fine, it's an I statement. Fair enough. But rather you associated their height with you being emasculated, and you being weaker, smaller (outside of being shorter), slower, and more submissive. All because the lady his taller than you. I don't know if that's sexist, it sounds h…
/r/ExRedPill31/05/22 01:27 PM
1

For one they keep bringing girls on the show who are bimbos, onlyfans girls that can’t articulate a real argument. Quite, if you're argument isn't solid, bring an idiot, and make them drunk. Then if they still have something to say provoke them until they become annoyed, then throw them out the show for being "unreasonable". Myron says a high value man can cheat but women can’t. So we supposed to base our life on what 1% of the population can possibly get away with. There's no getting away with …
/r/ExRedPill31/05/22 08:38 AM
1

I'd suggest a change of perspective. If you need to compete, then your emotional bond with the other isn't strong enough. By having to compete you've already lost. Not the woman is the prize, the connection is the prize, but if it's there it's practically unavoidable no matter who else thinks they're competing. In my mind, the best thing you can do on your own is to become as available for emotional connection as possible. That's mostly self-work. I.e. self-analysis, journaling, therapy, discove…
/r/ExRedPill31/05/22 08:22 AM
1

Should I even bother to identify the truth? In principle yes. But seeking the truth can also consume you. Anything pushed too hard isn't healthy. It's so obscurred by what you say, the lack of specificity and context and the perspectives and implications that surround it that it doesn't feel worth it. As with everything it gets easier the more you practise it. Accurate listening is a good basis. Truth seeking requires a toolkit, a sharp mind being one of them. In terms of it feeling worth it. I …
/r/ExRedPill30/05/22 05:35 PM
2

Usually what men get upset by isn't how women are treated, but rather how attractive women are treated. And usually women get upset at how bad men treat them, not how men treat them. Neither group is uniform. Take a look at all the women around you and ask yourself if you're genuinely jealous of all of them. I've seen some quite emotionally flat and stunted men be immensely popular with women that certainly seem attractive. It puzzles me, but I that these women aren't as attractive to me as they…
/r/ExRedPill30/05/22 04:02 PM
0

I find "high-standards" always a bit weird. I think you either find someone attractive or you don't. But if you create a list of physical attributes or weight or %-muscle mass or whatever, that to me isn't having high-standards, it's just plain weird. It's ok to have downward limiters, I think, however, the most important factor should be the emotional connection. But it's not like mutual attraction doesn't play a role. Physicalities are an important part of that. Then there are real world consi…
/r/ExRedPill30/05/22 03:46 PM
3

I don't know if you can. It's quite seductive in general and arguably irresistible to people in certain situations. My take is that it gives their suffering a reason. They struggle with the complexity of the world, especially relationships and just wish it was all easier, while not addressing likely trauma in childhood. Usually I'd recommend phasing someone like that out of your life, but him being your brother, I guess be as loving and patient as you can be. Ultimately, it's him that has to sta…
/r/ExRedPill30/05/22 03:38 PM
1

I suspect/hope? you're being slightly hyperbolic. I'd reword it slightly, something like what's an ideology good for if all it achieves is me feeling worse about myself the longer I stay with it. I think the truth is the only thing that allows us to grow. It's not the truth that's poisoned, it's the lack of specificity of context of that truth, the perspective under which it's considered, and the implications that are drawn. The truth isn't there to make you feel good, life is all about managing…
/r/ExRedPill30/05/22 03:32 PM
2

It's not so much about changing your personality. But rather about unlocking and unblocking what's already present. If you're doing something that you don't like doing, but you cannot stop, then you should find out why that is. If you remove the underlying emotional reason through trauma work, the neurotic behaviour will go away. In a nutshell. But most people don't have this soft approach to their selves. They try to force themselves to behave simply differently. Even if this works for a moment…
/r/ExRedPill30/05/22 09:25 AM
1

Most writers aren't good. And physically attractive characters allow projection from insecure teenagers. It's a cop-out to having to write an emotionally compelling character and connection, a believable one. Man or woman. This is a little far-fetched in as so far that you're mixing up entertainment and reality. They're not the same. They don't even have to be similar. Author's also quite often have issues.
/r/ExRedPill27/05/22 11:58 AM
2

The mass division today proves humanity does not lack critical thinking. I've learnt to be very careful around the word "prove", but mass divisions usually indicate a lack of critical thinking. Critical thinking going only against the other isn't critical at all. A critical thinker first and foremost assesses their own position, otherwise they're just an ideologue. Of the former we have few, of the latter many. Yet when you look at the worlds most prominent open thinkers, it seems they live the …
/r/ExRedPill27/05/22 11:49 AM
5

I'm pretty sure that the "temporary status of an ultra-chad" is immediately nullified by being useless and bitter enough to view shooting guns at children as a viable tactic to gain even a shred of relevance just for a moment. Losers with guns aren't any better.
/r/ExRedPill27/05/22 07:50 AM
2

In what way would you say he was correct? In what way would you say he was incorrect? To me treating finding a valuable relationship partner as a game of odds has some truth. But just because it's difficult to refute in its entirety, doesn't make it exhaustively correct. It's a seemingly subtle distinction to make, with rather massive consequences. Most people won't be intimately compatible and I think that's fine. It's all about knowing who you need, who's receptive to you, and being open for e…
/r/ExRedPill27/05/22 07:37 AM
2

I'd say there are two separate planes to consider, firstly the logical plane, is it real, how do I find people I actually like, and secondly the emotional plane, why was this movement even interesting to me in the first place. Both have their place, but unless you address the underlying emotional need met through RP my fear is you'll continue to struggle unless it's been otherwise addressed. But these underlying emotions aren't resolved by women, even though your body is telling you otherwise, t…
/r/ExRedPill25/05/22 11:36 AM
5

Where as I agree with you, I fear logic and emotion are mostly orthogonal. The issue is not a lack of available evidence (though leaving social media is bound to help), the issue is the pain they felt underneath before even entering any sort of movement. So instead of telling them look it's not like you describe it which they couldn't accept because ultimately it would trivialise their emotion, risking a fragmented worldview, I guess I'd ask what makes you feel that way?
/r/ExRedPill25/05/22 08:01 AM
6

It is much worse. The BP is aptly named, it appears to be about death. What is liberating about accepting defeat? I don't know if defeat is the word I wouldn't chosen since it assumes an actual enemy, rather just giving up on reality. When you trade a complex world for an incredibly simple one. It's exactly as liberating as any extreme ideology. Cynicism, say. Everything is bad therefore there's no need to try to better it or to seek out those that are better. I don't need to put effort into who…
/r/ExRedPill25/05/22 07:55 AM
4

I would think so, yes.
/r/ExRedPill24/05/22 11:33 AM
8

Are women who say they want a "provider and protector" in a man toxic or hateful for feeling this way? Not necessarily. It depends on the context I think. I think someone who needs their partner to be submissive would have to be toxic, yes. Because from the outset they're asserting a strict power imbalance in their favour. That to me is weird no matter who it comes from. It's just a weak attitude in my eyes. I hear women reduce men to a paycheck it hard not to feel like okay that's fine what's y…
/r/ExRedPill24/05/22 08:04 AM
1

I wouldn't describe "casual dating" as something everyone has to do. If you want to find someone you definitely need to date and sometimes that fizzles out short-term, but being casual about it (to me) implies a certain degree of indifference that I view as unhealthy when viewed in a context that allows sexual intimacy. I should add that as per wikipedia, casual dating is not supposed to include random ONS, which I find surprising and would've definitely included based on how the word appears to…
/r/ExRedPill24/05/22 07:28 AM
2

women are lazy and entitled Yeah, I mean, that's likely to have shown in his actions. He doesn't sound like a great role model, and what's worse, he doesn't sound like he loved you the way you (every kid) needs him, too. Thank you for the kind words and yes I am still the same person however like you said shite has been layered atop. It has, but just in the way you write and that you write it's clear that all is not lost. I am essentially as valuable as copper while women are as valuable as diam…
/r/ExRedPill23/05/22 04:52 PM
18

Sorry, many words. TLDR: It's ok to leave. You sound great, go out be great without another's weight. Find someone that's uplifting, even if that's "just" you. I had so many citations and things of him showing flags, but there are so many. If you'd like to hear my opinion in detail, feel free to ask. But wow, it just keeps going. The key one to me is that you're in a committed relationship and he (a) cares what girls at the club think, (b) not at all what hurts you, and (c) the more you ask him …
/r/ExRedPill23/05/22 04:18 PM
3

My dad is probably a misogynist however I haven’t spoken to him about his views on women. Was he around? Most communication is done outside of what they say. It's pretty easy to assimilate perspectives views just by being around them, especially if they're an adult and you're developing. Before redpill I was a good guy If you were, than you still are that, you just layered some shite atop that might be difficult to untangle at times, but just you putting effort into reflection to me indicates th…
/r/ExRedPill23/05/22 12:04 PM
2

Not an easy topic, especially considering that you provided little information about yourself. Confidence is quite a personal topic. Confidence is often described as if attached to an specific ability. "I am confident because I can do abc." Personally, I question that, rather confidence is being ok with failing in general. Not in the sense that want to fail, but rather that it's fine if it happens because it's not the thing that gives you worth. Confidence then necessitates self-worth. Similarly…
/r/ExRedPill22/05/22 05:14 PM
3

Hollywood is a very weird place. It sells itself as the top of the pops, but the reality appears dire. Just look at how many turn to substance abuse. It hints at a toxic environment to me. At what point are the people that go after people gone after? I am sure money plays a role. Just be careful who you spend time with. I don't think Hollywood acts as a good blueprint for the world. but accepting responsibility no matter what seems to be precisely what predators are after Very much. If someone w…
/r/ExRedPill22/05/22 08:06 AM
1

Thanks for reading all of that. Appreciated. Five years sounds like a good length of time to heal. Apologies it didn't become clear from your post. I meant to say if you spent a year in PUA overall, then you should plan for at least a year of detox. I think that's reasonable, personally. It's just not in-and-out, but it doesn't sound like you treated it as such. Good on you. But it's good to be reminded that this is something that is actively practiced. I think so, yeah. But at some point we can…
/r/ExRedPill22/05/22 07:58 AM
3

Welcome. To be honest, I still regret the fact that it was during my prime time to form relationships Work with what you know now. There's worth to understanding and we can't always choose where we discover wisdom. The Stoics say, think about what you did well and what you did not do well. Then do more of the former and less of the latter. Regret changes nothing. Truly mourn what is lost, what you lost, and understand that is by your own hand. Then move on. I now see that relationships are just …
/r/ExRedPill21/05/22 06:44 PM
4

like we're all on the same ship that's going down I think you can relax. Personally I view casual dating as toxic, so it'll be ok to watch that fade... and be it for it to surely reappear in about two generations or so (as the new counter-culture, of course). inability to form relationships among younger people Let's see how it plays out. Humans are adaptive, it's kind of what we're good at. So I wouldn't worry too much, especially about things that you cannot change. What you can change is what…
/r/ExRedPill21/05/22 12:43 PM
1

That makes sense. Regrets are funny in the sense that they work both ways. You might have FOMO that you didn't date 25-30, or at 30 you come to the realisation that you regret not trying going back to college. It's a catch 22. Though, it shouldn't be, you're path is much more important than maybe being on a few dates with women that you don't know yet and therefore can't care about yet. It's basically long-term thinking vs short-term thinking. You're also judging a situation that you don't have …
/r/ExRedPill21/05/22 12:06 PM
1

i bring good vibes. Seems perfectly reasonable. I can confirm. One lady was adamant to pay before, with another when receiving the bill my immediate response was, "we're definitely splitting that" and we did. No they don't run and hide after. Some might. It depends if they're interested in your money or not. And if they are, it's ok to let them go. Don't fall into the trap of giving a leech blood just for them to stick around. There's no value in their presence. Filter for sensible people first.
/r/ExRedPill21/05/22 11:54 AM
1

Well it's sort of what F&F select for. Anyone who isn't crazy wouldn't exactly be a fan. The remainder have been listening to them dehumanising women for years now. If you go through history it's basically always the same. One group starts dehumanising the other, then it gets real ugly, because attacking them is no longer considered despicable. The situation basically played out as I would expect. I view their podcast as a time-bomb. I'm hoping that you watch other people clipping their content,…
/r/ExRedPill21/05/22 11:49 AM
2

Philosophy means "love of wisdom", so I fear it turned to sophistry by the time he tried to tie the knot to PUA. Edit: Spelling :)
/r/ExRedPill21/05/22 11:42 AM
1

It's baseline manipulation through pointing at an absolute authority (biology/science). Similarly to spelling mistakes in scam emails, it's a pre-selection filter of people they're interested in (which isn't the critical thinkers). When you talk to suggestible people with authority many of them simply believe you. As per men/women being a leader of follower in general, I think it's always depended on context. Today it certainly does/should.
/r/ExRedPill21/05/22 11:40 AM
1

I think it's more of a hedonistic "way of life". It's interesting to see people divorce intimacy from sexuality, though I'll happily admit I never quite understood it to be worth it.
/r/ExRedPill20/05/22 09:16 AM
1

Well done (in my eyes, anyway). You're about to understand the grand illusion. Offering a trivial response, no it really depends on who she is. The question is, have you yet been able to merge character into what you view as attractive. I.e. observable actions of kindness, honesty, integrity, ... It seems to me that most men (I think on the whole women are somewhat more finetuned in this regard) see the thing, and are attracted or not. What I propose is to make an active effort to integrate obse…
/r/ExRedPill20/05/22 09:07 AM
3

I find myself attractive and definitely would fuck myself if I swung that way Since that's literally straight out of American Psycho I am really hoping that's a joke.
/r/ExRedPill19/05/22 08:50 AM
1

Attraction is simplified to make products capable of attaining it marketable. So it's wealth, height, fitness, muscle mass, confidence, ... On their own none of these are attractive. Terms like confidence mean different things to different people, so let's define it first: "Belief in the effectiveness of one's own abilities or in one's favorable acceptance by others; self-confidence." Based on that, I'd say you're correct. If you're confident in wooing the ladies it doesn't necessarily mean that…
/r/ExRedPill19/05/22 08:45 AM
1

Both matter to a point, and I think it's ok to view them as downward limiters (though they'll vary from person to person). But so are many other things. Attraction is a complicated concept, and it's the result of a multitude of factors. Some you can change (say kindness and honesty), others you cannot. The way I view it is that ultimately someone who left for someone else just because they're a little taller or because they're more handsome is a person that's ok to lose. My own experience is tha…
/r/ExRedPill18/05/22 06:08 PM
1

If that works for you, sure. If it doesn't, then there's that. Though from what I understand it's more healthy to do it than not over time. I think your state of mind matters a ton. A lot of people feel like losers when masturbating. I haven't quite understood why that is. You're not cheating, you're not hurting anyone, and you're not manipulating or lying to someone to get them into bed. And you haven't given up self-respect just to be with someone you despise only to have the privilege of a se…
/r/ExRedPill18/05/22 05:36 PM
3

Anytime. “He suffers more than necessary, who suffers before it is necessary” - Seneca https://dailystoic.com/anxiety/
/r/ExRedPill18/05/22 05:20 PM
6

The issue I believe stems from my insecurities and I am willing to put my hand down and admit I am at fault for this way of thinking. To be at fault for your insecurity implies that you had a choice in the matter. It's unlikely that you did, so it's not your fault. Essentially I have an 11% chance of being her best sexual partner just stemming from the fact I am in competition with 8 other men. First of all, very honest talking about that, go you. But you're thinking about this very mechanically…
/r/ExRedPill17/05/22 06:29 PM
3

I think the expectations part has been handled elsewhere. I think you become what you do over time. Watching porn, you're basically acting as a voyeur. So it's reasonable to be concerned that you might be rewiring your brain to require voyeurism to get off over time, that is other people having sex, with you just watching. Then it really depends on who does the watching, how old they are, if they can put it into perspective, how much they consume, and what sort. It's trivial to come up with a sc…
/r/ExRedPill17/05/22 04:46 PM
1

Sure thing. I began the usual “self-improvement” things a couple of years ago Can you be more specific? It's hard to tell what this entails, I find. I live in a different country now, and only now appreciate the extent of these problems. Distance from home can be a very powerful catalyst for change. You may also become older. Contrary to popular believe that absolutely can be a blessing (so long as your maturity holds step). I definitely like what I’m doing; it’s not something I’m doing for my p…
/r/ExRedPill17/05/22 12:09 PM
2

Thank you for the rather substantial compliment. :) I am sure I am off at times, but I'll be sure to remember this when I feel a little off myself. Here's hoping that what I write turns out helpful to someone. I find it so interesting how we subconsciously tend to recreate those situations of hurt and isolation that we haven't appropriately processed yet over and over again. It took me a long time to even come close to appreciating that that was what's happening. All the best to you.
/r/ExRedPill17/05/22 12:03 PM
25

Online dating isn't healthy. You should stop, especially since it's clearly affecting you negatively. You can get way depressed. Meanwhile I see my unattractive and overweight female friends THRIVING. Just worry about your own lane. Be happy for them. Believe me things aren't what they seem almost all of the time. I dont like that every girl i’ve met has approached the date with an “impress me” mentality rather than a truly equal moment to get to know each other. You're really stuck on that femi…
/r/ExRedPill16/05/22 05:16 PM
1

and she said she misses me Honestly, that was a little selfish of her. She must've known that this could easily provoke feelings in you that she'd immediately extinguish again. Which is exactly what happened and what she did next. there's no need for it, I'm taking Assuming these are her exact words, notice how she's saying what she's saying. There's no need for me to give you my new number I already have someone, so no worries. Maybe I'm reading into it, and the conversational context really ma…
/r/ExRedPill16/05/22 09:37 AM
2

that I haven't been able to address until recently Ok, great. May I ask how? I've noticed subconscious stress-related behaviors: defensive/status-seeking language, rapid speech cadence, lowering of voice, increased rate/depth of breathing, closed-off body language. I imagine that's you noticing you doing that. If so, good on you for noticing. I suppose one of the key questions is, do you like what you're doing? Or are you doing it because of your parents. it creates an initial trust barrier and …
/r/ExRedPill16/05/22 09:19 AM
2

Indeed, that could be quite interesting. I should add, I too have a narcissistic deficiency, just not to the point that I need people to cheer me on. A little is nice at times, but I use it to fuel the integration. In fact, whereas I can see how it might be seductive to go on YT or whatever, I think it's the exact wrong thing to do, because someone who is unhealthy in processing praise, opens up a gate with all of the praise on the other side. It's like an addict walking into a serve yourself ba…
/r/ExRedPill16/05/22 09:10 AM
1

Can't say that I have, what are they about then?
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 10:04 PM
1

Ah I thought the point was to show it to other people. But you're correct, you never explicitly stated youtube. People in the real world are still hugely ok, you know. It's just the dysfunctional ones that should the loudest. It's ok to zone them out. :)
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 07:24 PM
3

Many (I sort of want to say all) people willing to go on YouTube do so to be seen which often times is a form of narcissistic deficiency. They alternate between depression and grandiosity. It'll be very difficult for them to genuinely keep the focus away from themselves. This is also one of the reasons why so many of them get depressed. I don't know if this is new, it might be, but that's mostly due to bad parenting not allowing the very very young child to experience their narcissism while grow…
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 06:50 PM
2

Thanks, I appreciate the feedback, if it helps you my day is worth it. :) Anytime. all it seems to be in most, if bot all, forms of social media. Social media AI (if you can actually call it "intelligence") is heavily weighted around previous consumption, because that's what it knows you('ve) like(d in the past). I hope it's not super complicated in the background, because the result is pretty trivial: "here's more of the same you just watched." What that means is that social media will suggest …
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 06:43 PM
3

I think there'll be difficulty in finding a truly genderwise impartial set of moderators that aren't somehow full of themselves. Other than that a genuine conversation between normal men and women would be good. What I find is lacking a ton of the time is depth. Which makes sense because quick formats usually have not so deep people sign on, and depth takes time to discover, it's not something you can just write an abstract of. Since a lot of the limiters would be internal it would be super inte…
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 02:40 PM
3

Yuk, long post this, but there's a point. Anyway, in terms of tracking what makes you happy and what doesn't, you should stop watching TikTok. You're day was great until you watched it, so don't do it. One of the issues around TikTok and YT, as well is that you're confronted with content you otherwise wouldn't have necessarily considered or are in the mood for. BP and RP content are designed to depress you and keep you around. Their content is very effective in achieving this even for otherwise …
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 02:30 PM
0

Only men who made a certain amount of money are allowed to date? I make no claim that I am aware of everything he said, and I got a bit bored with his content (a lot of the ideologically streamed content has to repeat the same message again and again)... but the way I understood him, it's not that men under a certain amount of money aren't allowed to date, but rather that only men in the six figures are considered "high-value". A lot of young men weren't really taught anything growing up outside…
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 12:36 PM
1

It depends on how much has been built on the faulty foundation. The unconscious will filter information that risks fracturing the individual. Especially as you build habits and friendships on a fallacy, it's incredibly hard to course-correct. You'd basically have to stop all related habits and replace all your friends. That's pretty major. The way I view it is that humans are pretty apt at learning how to use a tool by observing its use. The tool that's missing is reflection. If someone is capab…
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 11:19 AM
1

Flirting is what's missing here, its playground is between the two extremes. I think everyone should just flirt a little more, that would solve a lot of problems. It can be as simple as good eye-contact. Not everyone is into clothes, eyebrows, nails and things. Good nutrition + exercise, though, almost everyone is into that given the choice. And neither is particularly expensive. On the rest, diminishing returns are pretty imminent. Maybe not in all circumstances, but super quickly. Anyway, a to…
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 10:58 AM
4

Please get some therapy. You're in your own little world. At best you're extrapolating from IG thot land and Tinder. Online isn't real. Women are nowhere near as heartless as you describe them to be. If you want any woman to give you the light of day, you might want to think differently about them, because it for sure shows. If you ever feel like you have to compete for attention from anyone, my pro tip is stay out of it, it's already unhealthy at that point.
/r/ExRedPill14/05/22 07:16 PM
2

employing a thousand subtle (and often expensive) tricks that most guys don’t pick up on Hmm, maybe I am too logical, but why make it expensive and subtle if the expectation is that guys won't pick up on it?
/r/ExRedPill14/05/22 07:12 PM
1

Understood, thanks for your response.
/r/ExRedPill14/05/22 11:01 AM
1

Hmm, it's been deleted, but I think it's an important topic. I've seen the summary and I didn't find what I could still see that bad, though admittedly I couldn't see all of it. You probably shouldn't have started with "there's no value in being a man". That's a bit out there. There can be value in being human. And that includes being a man. Life in principle is quite amazing. But if you spend time with the wrong people (as you appear to be - judging by anyone unironically saying "man up" to som…
/r/ExRedPill13/05/22 03:49 PM
1

> I take myself out on a date. +1
/r/ExRedPill13/05/22 03:36 PM
2

I suspect they don't pick any, I think they're mostly observing from the sidelines but the only information to put things into context comes from "content" found online and online-dating experiences. It's not just women they view as replaceable, but also themselves: not enough money, too old, no car, not enough muscle. Nobody ever says, "oh I haven't thought about what I need" or "I think I need to reflect more on myself so that I can be a more valuable partner to myself and others". It's all tr…
/r/ExRedPill13/05/22 08:59 AM
6

First of all, good on you. Progress, well done. I've learnt to ask, because I immediately assume that real-life experiences are meant. Is this an online-dating thing? Because online dating isn't real, it can lead to something real, but the experience itself is not. These men aren't the "best of the best", truthfully I wouldn't consider a "chad" a man at all. There is much more to us, thanks. Don't degrade yourself like that. Women aren't a uniform group, either. You appear to have befriended a g…
/r/ExRedPill12/05/22 11:58 AM
3

You're still thinking along the rather on/off type thinking that RP preaches. The real world is considerably more flexible. You also don't mention anything to back up your point. So it's a matter of agreeing or disagreeing. Also the older you get the more interested you will be in people that are a bit older, no offense to younger people, but the older version of you tends to have more to talk about. Also also, you're being super ageing doomy, you don't need to be, just take care of yourself (sp…
/r/ExRedPill12/05/22 08:02 AM
3

Absolutely, if it helps you it makes my day for sure. sort of work on developing into a better person To me the best way to become a "better" person is by being more at home with yourself. I'd start there. it’s not fair to dump that emotional baggage on another person It's not, though people that do it often don't know any better, forever stuck trading hurt for hurt without even noticing it. A true tragedy. All the best, though, you seem to be on a good path.
/r/ExRedPill11/05/22 02:20 PM
1

It seems at the least to two of us mostly agree. Maybe you're right, only OP knows. But when I read: but now I just don't care. That to me isn't the same as it's disappointing but I've learnt to move past it by growing emotionally. It's ok for me if you don't view it that way.
/r/ExRedPill11/05/22 02:07 PM
3

Well reflected post. For a relapse to occur the underlying need hasn't been addressed yet. There's something that RP gives you, that you cannot yet provide for yourself. I suspect it's a sense of security (through avoidance of reality, subscribing to the preachings of a leader as a "follower"). I’m really tired of it and modern dating generally. You don't actually have to date. Nor would I recommend doing it regularly. It seems like fun, but you will get depressed. Spend quality time with yourse…
/r/ExRedPill11/05/22 10:03 AM
1

I understand. People that don't get a lot of attention assume that's the only thing in the way of having sex. It is that simple for some, but I wouldn't say those are men and women to aspire to, exactly. i think it’s just from seeing other people go through things in their relationships so it turns me off Many people, though legally adults, are stuck in a child-like development. Especially in relationships that's usually through some narcissistic deficiency (in very simple terms: early child nar…
/r/ExRedPill11/05/22 09:52 AM
1

I always say i just want to fuck and dip but then i get to know a female and i start to build a bond. Considering how you started that sentence it ended really well. ;) I say i don’t want a gf but i can’t just do casual sex. Considering that you appear to have women interested in being with you, remind me, what speaks against a relationship?
/r/ExRedPill11/05/22 07:40 AM
1

I think you're generalising, which isn't helping your point. There'll be men and women that will judge you for getting an escort, and there'll be men and women that'll judge a lady for her body count (including herself). Then there'll be those that don't. I think there are valid reasons for both tbh, but that doesn't mean everyone has to. It doesn't even mean I do, it really depends on who someone is and why they did things. If you have a narcissistically deficient lady sleeping around, noticing…
/r/ExRedPill10/05/22 07:56 PM
6

I wouldn't combine starting therapy with "dating other girls". That's a recipe for disaster. At best it's distracting from what's really important. At worst they solidify already unhealthy impressions in a phase of vulnerability. Therapy is about you healing, it's not about dating girls. The relationship you're describing is about the sort of shit show I'd expect. Neither of you was ready to have a relationship.
/r/ExRedPill10/05/22 07:49 PM
3

It really depends on who you are and how far you're willing to go to get it. For some people it's near impossible and they're not always ugly, for some people it's super easy, barely an inconvenience, without looking super-fly. To me it always seemed as if some people "really need sex". It's not just something they want, it's something they use to fill a crippling hole in their soul. That sort of person will do anything to make it happen.
/r/ExRedPill10/05/22 07:42 PM
1

Sure, give it a shot. If you like it great, and if it's not for you, you'll know. You don't have to make a decision now and force yourself to stick to it for all time after. It's ok to be celibate, it's ok not to be.
/r/ExRedPill10/05/22 07:35 PM
2

It's ok for things to hurt that matter. Hurt isn't an extreme reaction. The extremes are indifference and crippling pain. If it's either of those, take a look a closer look at why that is, possibly with some help.
/r/ExRedPill10/05/22 07:33 PM
2

I think you are misunderstanding OP. Appreciate the discussion. I dunno if I am, though. I've read your post carefully, but I'd disagree with what you're saying then, as well. No offense or anything. There is a difference between caring, and having it throw you in a deep depression. I am not saying rejection should cripple you (that sounds unhealthy), but if it doesn't matter at all, then you wasted your time asking that person out in the first place. It's a common pattern. Many men want to be s…
/r/ExRedPill10/05/22 07:30 PM
7

The issue about RP is that it's targetting narcissistically deficient men (maybe women, too?) and preaching external validation and indifference to "treat" insecurity. From a psychological viewpoint, that's really really dumb. In terms of your question. You need to work with what you got, we all do, certain things we are capable of changing, others we are not. Often but not always it's easy to distinguish between the two. The rest require wisdom.
/r/ExRedPill09/05/22 12:13 PM
6

It used to as a kid but now I just don't care. I feel if you're looking for closeness, it's probably unhealthy to not care at all. I for sure do. I also suspect that by not caring when you ask someone out that's unlikely to work in your favour. I focus on more important parts of my life like working out, my health, job, finances, investments, family etc. You know why? Because they are more important and always will be. I don't mean to be confrontational or anything, but to me that does sound bit…
/r/ExRedPill09/05/22 11:58 AM
1

I did tell her that I'm not comfortable with it that you're still in touch. Great, open communications are a good thing. Very mature, go you! Also I said that's it disrespectful to me. I'd back off of that point and focus on the issue. She wants to know what is it that I don't like about this. Huh. The fact that she's asking on its own is interesting. I feel if she has to ask, she's either not going to get it, or doesn't want to. You're point is basically I don't like you hanging around people t…
/r/ExRedPill09/05/22 11:48 AM
1

From a human viewpoint, I think you describe a completely understandable situation. The key is that you yourself don't regret it. Honestly, I have more respect for this than getting drunk at the club twice a week and going home with a stranger. I am not pro lying, but certain things do not have to be mentioned at the doorstep either, unless they have an immediate impact on the partner (for example, "hello [girlfriend] I am currently cheating on you with an escort", say). Now depending on their o…
/r/ExRedPill08/05/22 05:30 PM
5

Ok, so you look masculine, that's a good start. In terms of character, you don't actually have to correspond to others' expectations of you. Even if they hate it. I find detail really important, because information loss is so easy: * What does it mean to be "masculine" in relationships, finance, dreams, and/or work? Based on your phrasing you expect that it would make sense to me. It does not. Are these areas you're not doing well in? Is that what you mean? To me, all of these areas require a co…
/r/ExRedPill08/05/22 05:16 PM
13

Since you don't know what it's like to be a woman, I'd be quite careful with upsetting myself imagining it was any simpler. The most "masculine" thing (though for women it's much the same) you can do, is to make life work for you with what you're given. You could do everything right. You could conform to classical masculinity completely and still messed up somewhere. What specifically do you mean here? but as someone who did that, my life isn't faring any better I imagine in some form this relat…
/r/ExRedPill08/05/22 03:49 PM
1

Ah yes, quite. Somewhat forgettable character.
/r/ExRedPill08/05/22 03:31 PM
2

I can only speak from my experience, but attraction sort of just occurs, without speaking. Two people repeatedly looking at another from across the room sort of thing. The more relaxed you are the better. Then when you actually interact it's really just needs to be a simple conversation. Then you're either compatible or not. The issue with the whole attraction switches based idea and whatnot is that ultimately never will know if they would've like the genuine you, even if it succeeds. You've sor…
/r/ExRedPill08/05/22 12:08 PM
1

If there were more women willing to be open about this type of thing and not see it as something weird then I wouldn't feel this way Sure they exist, but it really matters where you're looking. It's unlikely to be in a bar or a club. That's more where the sex-crazed lot hangs out. If you develop a genuine relationship with someone whether or not you've had sex before only matters in as much as it matters to you, and if it does matter to them, then you didn't mean that much to them to begin with …
/r/ExRedPill08/05/22 12:02 PM
1

Huh, that took an unexpected turn. I doubt me saying it changes anything, and while I like women, they're flawed, same as men. Nothing godlike about them. My suggestion basically stays the same, it sounds like you've never really gotten to know a woman. I'd start there. In terms of some of the content your consuming, it doesn't sound like it's healthy for you, especially if you don't have a social reality (not online) that keeps you grounded in the real world.
/r/ExRedPill08/05/22 11:57 AM
4

My thoughts on internet "content" that's hard to believe. Unless independently verifiable, the assumption should be that it's a lie. Think Ignite guy (forgotten the name), the trust fund kid with the fraudster dad. He paid all them ladies using the company credit card. Legend, isn't he.
/r/ExRedPill07/05/22 01:12 PM
1

I don't know if that's what I'd call it. But to be honest I still haven't quite figured how specifically your problem presents itself. Unless you let the other person who's explicitly sexually interested in you, know that you're a virgin, they don't know. So I'm thinking that you are letting them know. I'd just stop doing that. Haha, lol, 4 months without dating. Let's just say that's pretty uncommon on these threads. My advice (if you're willing to hear it), do spend more time on yourself. If i…
/r/ExRedPill07/05/22 01:06 PM
3

Honestly bro I still get attention even though I live with my mom I believe you, but this isn't about what some women might be willing to put up with, this is about you moving to an independent environment to find out who you are in isolation. I don't mean this in a condescending way. I hope that's not how I am coming across. Bro I'm telling you you can be confident about this type of situation all you want but not every girl is going to be turned on by it Women aren't a uniform group. And I can…
/r/ExRedPill07/05/22 11:36 AM
3

In general, to celebrate another's death openly is pretty tasteless. I don't know what it's supposed to do other than rot one's soul. But it's how he lived his life that determines who mourns him. I am neither celebrating his death nor do I mourn him. There are people in this world more powerful and much much worse as has become clearer than ever in the last few weeks. But even in the case of their inevitable deaths, I wouldn't rejoice, I'd just be relieved.
/r/ExRedPill07/05/22 10:47 AM
3

But that uncertainty in the willing to do with is exactly what women find attractive so even though you may look weird or creepy and doing So eventually a woman would be attracted to it I have trouble following your writing, but would like to know what you meant. In the last few years there's been a lot of talk about toxic masculinity, undoubtedly a good thing. Something that's missing from the conversation, albeit will undoubtedly follow, is a conversation about toxic femininity. Which is impor…
/r/ExRedPill07/05/22 10:32 AM
22

What would you say you're currently viewing them as? In in what way would you say your perception of them isn't human. Similarly, do you view males as human beings? Or are they also just replaceable with the exception that you do want to have sex with them? A wild suggestion: spend time with women outside any datey context, specifically outside of anything online.
/r/ExRedPill07/05/22 10:07 AM
1

But my ex-girlfriends and other women have let it be known that having less experience is a turn off. I dunno if that's true. I am sure they think it's true. But what I found, even with zero experience is that if you're confident and have fun with it that's the turn on. But then again that's real confidence (none of that "alpha" nonsense) when everything is stripped away and you have no clue what you're doing, it matters, and it's still fine. Because you're fine. I don't condone lying, but you d…
/r/ExRedPill07/05/22 09:14 AM
1

I should add, I currently don't hold a library card. But I read your entire post, at least some of your responses, and all of them in full. So I am a little confused about my value now.
/r/ExRedPill07/05/22 08:44 AM
3

I mean, sure, if you strip away anything in regards to emotional connection you could treat it as a market. But that doesn't really seem worth it. Or real. Besides the point, but there are plenty of "white-collar" workers that are useless at their job.
/r/ExRedPill07/05/22 08:42 AM
1

I dunno, if that's what he meant, he heavily suggested otherwise. Agreed on the rest.
/r/ExRedPill07/05/22 08:36 AM
2

I'd just get off online dating tbh. It's not healthy. You can get rich in trades, especially if you set up your own shop.
/r/ExRedPill07/05/22 08:35 AM
3

Agreed. A draft even had it in. :) But I left it ambiguous deliberately, so everyone can take from it what they will. I suspect the way in which men and women would go about these might be different in execution, but ultimately the question comes down to what does an actualised human look like.
/r/ExRedPill07/05/22 08:30 AM
3

I agree, hence the " around high-value. He has a very narrow definition of value. It's so it remains easily comprehensible to his audience. :) Actual value is something completely different. Though your ability to hold a job certainly factors into it.
/r/ExRedPill06/05/22 10:23 AM
8

Finding women with weird standards is pretty easy if you go to the right places. And I'd say you want them to be not so clever to come on your show. But this content then gets shown to an audience of a few 100k. A disproportionate multiplier when compared to the meaningfulness of underlying piece of information. Agreed, if your point is good, you only need to make it once.
/r/ExRedPill06/05/22 09:11 AM
21

He struck me as just another guy who puts on a suit claiming to be capable of defining "high-value". But then immediately associating himself with this value. A bit like a late night talk-show host who gains his relevance by inviting people that are relevant and be it through acting stupidly. On their own they are nothing. Throw some alpha-domination frame-holding let-me-finish mannerisms in there, and you have generic alpha no 123. That being said, he was definitely more suave than most (all?) …
/r/ExRedPill06/05/22 09:05 AM
4

I can’t just look at a picture and know whether or not I would sexually select a guy. I think that's a really critical point, every time I hear "dating is hard" it seems to come out as "online dating isn't working for me". My honest response would be, online dating just isn't real and is super weird. So no reason to get upset about it. There are so many things at play it's practically impossible to isolate enough variable-result interactions to know for sure if one should even be upset.
/r/ExRedPill05/05/22 01:25 PM
1

One more thing, I can completely see where you're coming from based on your age. But you're worrying about women that aren't fun to hang out with. Weak women, there are much better ones. I realise that your biology might be telling you differently, but the lots of DM, inflated ego lot have to make themselves rare, otherwise people notice that there's something quite wrong with them.
/r/ExRedPill04/05/22 05:00 PM
1

Absolutely, being healthy is really quite hard in a world where advertisement is usually trying to have you consume something that's probably not that good for you. And then there are the neurotic ones that become consumed by the idea of being "healthy", where it's reasonable to think that their mind probably started cracking under pressure. Anyway, it's a thing. But their not the loud ones. Feel free to aspire. Or not, just know that drugs super don't help. As fun as they seem. Even alcohol is …
/r/ExRedPill04/05/22 04:55 PM
6

Someone who can freely experience the full-range of emotions. Who's calm, empathetic, and nurturing. Driven by honesty and integrity as immovable constants regardless of context. Capable of asking for forgiveness and forgiving themselves and others. Afraid, maybe, but willing to muster the courage to move forward when needed. Authentic in regards to all they are, including that which they are not.
/r/ExRedPill04/05/22 03:04 PM
1

To me the issue is the lack of object in your sentence "wanting a relationship". A relationship with whom? If you don't have an object, i.e. someone specific you want to be in a relationship with, that means you view a relationship as a means to become less deficient in some areas of your life, regardless of the partner. Outside of the specific other, wanting a relationship is necessarily focused on needs you should be providing for yourself. And that, to me, should be your target.
/r/ExRedPill04/05/22 02:58 PM
1

Sorry, it's not that amazing a point. It's not even true. Though I can understand how one's own selection bias may lead to the idea that no healthy people exist. They do, they just aren't the ones consuming drugs with you.
/r/ExRedPill04/05/22 02:46 PM
1

have had their ego inflated Undoubtedly, but it's not all, at least not generation wide. I am sure the same is true for the US. And even there it may depend on the city. Normal people still exist, but they're mostly in the real world. Just steer clear of ego-heavy people, they're weird. Plus its likely her instagram account will get a lot of dms. Then the main task she has is to not let it get to her head. And if it does, then that's regrettable, but ultimately acceptable. No one increases their…
/r/ExRedPill04/05/22 02:09 PM
2

Not everyone is doing online dating. And I wouldn't recommend anyone on purely doing online dating. I don't think it's good for the mental health. In the real world there's a ton more room to maneuver. One of the biggest factors in attracting each other is smell (apparently). But even outside of that there's tone of voice, perceived compatibility not just through what was said but also how it reacts to what the other said prior. Online dating is more of a marketing front of something hopefully r…
/r/ExRedPill03/05/22 12:45 PM
3

That's true. It for sure matters. I'm just saying that there's a ton more to attraction in general. Though in online dating that rarely plays a role (from what I can tell). I'm talking about real life, basically.
/r/ExRedPill02/05/22 08:53 PM
3

Clearly there are more things to life that being genuine, but if I'd had to summarise it, it's a pretty good word, I think. Be genuine in all the things you do. I've heard worse advice. The less genuine or authentic you are in whatever you do, the less real the results will be. I understand that it's seductive if you see results for once, just realise that you're cheating your own development. The question you'll need to ask yourself is do you want to be consumed by something as trivial as the d…
/r/ExRedPill02/05/22 04:05 PM
5

I mean, I don't know you, nor where you're at, but sure. Just try to steer clear of this topic. :) The reason people are so scared of 30+ is because choices matter now for real. Very limited do-overs. There's a lot more value to the people around you (including yourself) than age, looks, or financial status, humans are a miracle. Once you understand that, you'll be open for sensible dating. That's dating with people you actually care about. That to me is a great dating life.
/r/ExRedPill02/05/22 03:52 PM
6

Ok, we're moving in the right direction, you started of topping out at 25 and increased that margin by a full 20%. :) All I'm saying is that it's nowhere near as cut and dry as you appear to be convinced of. Take care of yourself, don't be afraid of the odd wrinkle, just feel good about yourself and do good things and that's what will cement on your face. Both genders struggle as they get older. I think lots of people struggle with existence, regardless of age. What's refreshing is when someone …
/r/ExRedPill02/05/22 11:19 AM
17

Look, your perspective on this wafer-thin. Yes, the older you get the older you may look. And some people definitely let themselves go, but they don't have to, and not everyone does. And if you honestly think that a man 25y+ will no longer be able to date younger women, you for sure don't know what you're talking about. No offense of anything, but that's nonsense. So I guess I am saying, you can relax. Aim at healthy habits and you'll do just fine. Even after 25y.
/r/ExRedPill02/05/22 09:33 AM
14

If the point is that high-quality men are rare, then there'll be a ton of women that'll have trouble getting with them, unless these men sleep around. At which point they're narcissistically deficient, which contradicts the previous assumption of high-value. Sleeping around <> high-value.
/r/ExRedPill02/05/22 09:15 AM
39

I still don't realise why it matters but I'd agree with "attractive people" find dating easier, especially via picture focused services. But texting doesn't mean they can hold a face-face conversation. But your time horizon stops at 25y. Which doesn't make a ton of sense to me. Life doesn't stop at 25y. It continues. And if you got hooked up all throughout your 20s (man or woman) it's either going to show physically, but definitely in how you treat other people. Because for the last five years o…
/r/ExRedPill01/05/22 08:14 PM
1

It's a good one. Many people over-correct. Even good things can swallow you whole. You're quite correct.
/r/ExRedPill01/05/22 07:57 PM
2

That may well be the case. Though, on its own, albeit likely hurtful and confusing, that doesn't have to be a bad thing. I realise that doesn't really solve the not getting laid thing. It really depends on the why, if you aspire to be kind, truly kind, not just nice because you avoid conflict at all costs then I'd say you have nothing to worry about, life doesn't all happen in your 20s. Though you should take measures to get around some people. What worries me more is that you describe yourself …
/r/ExRedPill01/05/22 07:56 PM
3

If the guys are douche bags, then the women here (no matter how attractive) are also not healthy at this stage. She picked a low quality man, she'll have her reasons to do so. My point is, don't worry about what unhealthy people do. Look for the couples where you genuinely understand why they're together.
/r/ExRedPill01/05/22 05:05 PM
5

I realise it's difficult to see, especially from your perspective, but a douche attracts a douche. So any woman, no matter how attractive she seems is out once she goes out with someone you know as a fact is a douche. Re attractiveness: take care of what you have, be athletic if possible, aim at peace with yourself, eat well, and it'll show on your face. One of the most attractive ways to look at other people is if you neither expect nor need anything from them, because you're enough for yoursel…
/r/ExRedPill01/05/22 05:01 PM
3

That's a little hyperbolic. I agree that you shouldn't be a dancing monkey, but it pays to understand what women value, as well.
/r/ExRedPill01/05/22 04:45 PM
1

I was referring to the hypothetical you, you invoked in your previous comment (the pure man-whore). I am glad you found a more balanced approach to life.
/r/ExRedPill01/05/22 04:41 PM
3

I don't know what you're referring to. Wanting to have sex is pretty normal, nothing bad about it. Go libido! It's just not healthy if you treat others as objects and/or look for ways to manipulate them. PUA is not a necessary consequence of wanting to have sex. You can also just be a genuine guy. I mean, if you mean to be, be forward, say what you mean not some triply layered bs that's supposed to assert dominance or something. And be ok if they don't feel the same way. Take a look at Gregory h…
/r/ExRedPill01/05/22 04:39 PM
2

So you've learnt that disproportionately focusing on a single target outside of yourself may drive you into attempting suicide and your conclusion is that you just picked the wrong one?
/r/ExRedPill01/05/22 12:29 PM
2

It's a balancing act. I'd say coming to terms with yourself is more important than dating/sex, though it basically never gets a mention. It's hard to grasp, I think most people somehow think that they're at ease with themselves by default. But fundamentally, the person who needs to sleep around is subject to his own narcissistic hunger which makes him think he ought to prioritise sex over everything else. It's a pathology, and it should be read as there being an internal insufficiency that requi…
/r/ExRedPill01/05/22 12:26 PM
6

Dunno about hateful posts, I am sure there are some. It's a contentious topic and not everyone on reddit is, say, content with their lives (sorry?). So yeah, absolutely expect the odd triggering. PUA stuff won't improve your social skills. At best, it shows you how you can manipulate some women into sleeping with you. Improving your social skills is both easier and considerably more meaningful. Find an activity you like, then a corresponding club, there'll be people that you can interact with. T…
/r/ExRedPill01/05/22 12:18 PM
3

I mean, if you mean they can readily replace you with some guy from online, then yes, you're correct. And I am sure there are genuinely good guys out there, but the quicker they come around, the more of an issue they become. Think about it this way, if she replaces you quickly, then you never meant anything to her and it's good that you know. potentially someone better looking So many people can look good, even if their facial structure strictly speaking isn't "pretty". Over time, who you are, w…
/r/ExRedPill30/04/22 06:24 PM
1

Consciously choose to be single and get therapy. Based on what you're saying you've adopted a narcissistic personality. You are frustrated when she doesn't want to give her body to you. You're treating her as an object and you dislike the fact that she is autonomous. That's pretty sick. You're on the right track, though. You require outside validation because ultimately you're highly insecure. You realise that you've merely adopted mannerisms that are successful, but you've lost complete track o…
/r/ExRedPill30/04/22 06:16 PM
1

Fresh and fit are pretty useless, there's plenty of content around debunking them and making fun of them. They lie, especially about their sexual conquests with the skinny one even trying to leverage time on the podcast for sex. Assuming for a moment that alpha males exist, they sure as hell wouldn't need to go quid pro quo. Side note: best-body possible. That's bs. But yeah, fit bodies get noticed. But good bodies alone don't make a relationship. There are more important things. In terms of mon…
/r/ExRedPill30/04/22 05:48 PM
0

I’ve been told I’m very attractive and have a great sense of humour from my exes. Considering there's more than one, how come they left? I think it’s them not me. It might be them, but it could also be your selection bias picking people ultimately supporting your view. It’s difficult seeing women I tried talking to on these apps and then seeing them months later with a really ugly guy that has no job or values. Not everyone will be into you. But some people also have issues, not everyone is heal…
/r/ExRedPill03/02/22 11:39 AM
1

I think some people undoubtedly have it easier than others. And that's not always easy to live with. To a certain degree comparison is normal, I think, and it can give you a healthy impetus to change your life for the better. If that's what you want. But it's seductive to think that the value of a person can be reduced to external factors like how many partners one has, what they look like, money, cars, homes, travel, "happy" selfies, fitness, you name it. High-value, to me means, whatever you'r…
/r/ExRedPill03/02/22 11:29 AM
1

And I never had problems with getting dates or even ONS. What is more, ladies usually love talking and spending time with me. Lol, a bit weird to start a rant like that, but ok. but I just hate "proving myself or my masculinity" for everyone all the damn time I mean, you don't have to. If you're comfortable in your masculinity there's no need to prove it to someone else. Ironically, then not having to indicates it far more than the opposite. Note that not having to isn't the same as not doing it…
/r/ExRedPill02/02/22 11:25 AM
2

No that's not what that means. If you're being honest in your expression of care and emotions, and not just doing what you expect people to do when they care about others, then the other person leaving is fine. They either didn't like you that way or they don't know how to act in a loving relationship. Dumpster fire averted. It should also be noted that many many people confuse selfishness with caring about others. Considering he's squarely blaming womankind he doesn't strike me as the self-refl…
/r/ExRedPill02/02/22 10:52 AM
1

I suspect she could tell he was desperate and played him for dinner (which sadly appears to be a thing). If a lady needs you to spend money on her, my advice would be to leave her be. No need to be unkind, but it's ok to just not.
/r/ExRedPill25/01/22 11:21 AM
1

Mostly, I just want to say I love this. Thanks! You're well reflected and clearly put thought into helping a person around you. I now feel uplifted. On topic: In my mind RP focuses on vulnerable men. It's a business. That is men (youngsters) that haven't been educated in how to deal with negative emotion effectively. So they're stuck in projection mode. Women just happens to be something that most men can be hurt the most by, especially growing up. The hurt they feel, or even anticipate in its a…
/r/ExRedPill25/01/22 11:09 AM
4

That sucks. I am sorry for what happened to you. I agree with you. At least in principle. And this sadly this is an issue not often talked about. What happens to the child that is being had. It appears neither of your parents were being particularly responsible with their ability to create life. Though, resentment can consume oneself, as well. So overall, I don't recommend it, be it understandable. Now though, you exist. And that comes with a hopeful message (may it not always seem that way) you…
/r/ExRedPill25/01/22 10:44 AM
1

I feel a little awkward pointing this out because it's a bit of an old hat, but women aren't a uniform group. So what you're describing isn't at all contradictory. This is a very complicated question. But it's quite easy to not go insane over it. Simply put, the average IQ is 100. That means there are millions of women (and men) in the US that have below average intelligence. Some of these will be more suggestible than others. It's very hard to find an accurate estimate on how many people with d…
/r/ExRedPill25/01/22 10:27 AM
1

But is there really a way back? Sure, especially considering the level of reflection you're displaying here. But things take time. You can just pretend to be different, I'd say you've made the hardest step which is initial admittal to yourself, so well done, that's a tough thing to do. You were able to reflect on you pain and your unhealthy coping mechanisms while in that position and mindset. This may not seem like much because you're focusing on not having reached the end yet, but that's reall…
/r/ExRedPill17/01/22 12:24 PM
4

It's very hard to tell without author context if this is satire or not. Even if it is, it's basically indistinguishable making it a rather odd thing to post as a joke in my eyes. In any case, this very much conforms with other RP ideas. That being said it's a bit dumb, if you behave shittily to your child it's not going to come to you ever, same for your dog. What are RP fathers like? Someone genuinely subscribed to the ideology has learnt to dehumanise people based on their perceived worth and …
/r/ExRedPill17/01/22 11:32 AM
10

First of all, I am sorry to hear this, it already sucks to read this. I can only imagine how you must feel. I am trying to be as honest as I can be. Here's what you know, he did something over a long period of time of which he knew it would likely have a profoundly negative impact on your relationship and would hurt you. He was perfectly capable to lie about this to you for years (if I am reading this correctly). The same guy says he has trauma for some reason. Unless you've seen a police report…
/r/ExRedPill07/01/22 06:12 PM
1

This could literally be 500k+ 12y olds (no offense). In fact it likely is. But that's just not meaningful to describe the world. So I wouldn't get hung up on the counter. It's become positively meaningless by now. This clip plays on a dilemma that growing up I suspect plenty of young men faced ond/or will continue to face: Is there a free bonus I might be missing by acting differently to the way that I am. Oh god, am I being too nice? It's relatable as a simplification, but that doesn't make it …
/r/ExRedPill07/01/22 03:19 PM
1

I think some people just don't really smile that much. And I think that's fine. I'd say smile when you mean it. Done. Smiling on it's own really isn't a good indicator of personality. To me it's a very shallow way to filter people. It (maybe) makes initial contact a little more stumbly, fair, but there are more important things than smiling, like honesty, kindness, and integrity. I also doubt that women necessarily feel good when any man smiles at them. I suspect the who to take priority.
/r/ExRedPill07/01/22 01:42 PM
1

Just be more extrovert and think happy thoughts, done. Happy to help. you’re aren’t being manipulative I am not 100% on this. If you can choose your office or cubicle, choose one that’s close to the break room where more people will see you. lol. That's really desperate behaviour. Please don't do this. Go somewhere where you can concentrate on your work, be good at your job without being a dick about it. Do not be afraid of not being around.
/r/ExRedPill07/01/22 01:22 PM
1

Ah, I think I get it. But I fear there might a misunderstanding. Low self-worth is not the same thing as having "low value". Self-worth is internal only, RP-"value" is judged from the outside. The closest thing I could think of is that self-worth overlaps with what value one assigns to oneself across contexts, but it's more of a process, less of a switch. RP focuses on mannerisms and externals. Whenever they talk about "inner game", it basically boils down to faking something in order to achieve…
/r/ExRedPill04/01/22 06:38 PM
2

I'm kind of sick of being told all these things about relationships and I just sort of have to listen to them because I don't know any better. Like I wanna find out for myself dammit Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude, and you don't have to listen, feel free to skip the following, I completely understand where you're coming from. I just like exploring things. :) Please absolutely find out for yourself. Honestly I'm trying to get done assigning 'value' to people. To me it feels like a way to commodi…
/r/ExRedPill04/01/22 06:19 PM
2

I can't quite tell if you're being ironic. Sorry, if I misread your post. Self esteem describes the value you attribute to yourself. So at least in my estimation, the value you attribute to yourself will absolutely define you. Maybe not in your entirety, but rather massively in any area requiring interaction with others of which relationships is one. Lots somehow manage to get into relationships with low self-worth. It's just not worth it. It's basically people who have a knack for appearing mor…
/r/ExRedPill04/01/22 11:35 AM
3

It really matters when advice is given. I.e. in order for you to connect to this you needed to be ready to not disregard it. That means two things, (a) you've been working on yourself and its working regardless of the advice itself (go you) and (b) your therapist is even better than they would be merely given solid advice by given you advice you're actually ready to hear. Many advice givers struggle with that latter part. This particular piece of information is a specific instance of birds of a …
/r/ExRedPill04/01/22 11:10 AM
1

Interesting. I wonder how effective this is. It'll depend on how much work you're willing to put in. There'll be more responsibility on you being an active patient, which you may well be anyway. It's always worth a shot in my mind since places are usually less limited and resourcing a great deal cheaper. I'd say at worst it's a great stepping stone. It is just that I didn't think they really 'got' my concerns. Fair enough, hard to tell obviously. Personally, I think talking therapy is the jam an…
/r/ExRedPill02/01/22 01:48 PM
2

That's a solid question. I must admit ignorance in regards to the US system. However, in the UK you can get counselled by trainees, which is a ton cheaper. I'd suggest this as an avenue of research. Since real therapy, as you're pointing out, if not covered, is super-expensive. Also looking for a specialist and disregarding online interfacing will restrict your options significantly. So unless you're tried a generalist and online interfacing, that's where I would start. Best of luck.
/r/ExRedPill01/01/22 07:19 PM
3

A man doesn't have to look like a man to be a man. Nobody needs to call you manly to confirm or dispel your masculinity. You are a man, whether you and/or they like it or not. What you could and arguably should improve on is assigning appropriate emotional weight to external input. Mostly, that basically means none, because most opinions are pretty useless, basically orthogonal to whichever set of dimensions you reside in, and ill-reflected if at all. Most people don't think about what they say.…
/r/ExRedPill01/01/22 07:14 PM
1

Agreed, it really doesn't matter if it's women or men. If there's something unhealthy one notices one should look for ways to fix it. It's just that as we're young we tend to be quite dependent on contexts we can't easily control.
/r/ExRedPill29/12/21 12:03 PM
1

As a kid we can't really be blamed for our circumstance. It's hugely up to factors outside of our control how we grow up. But as we get older and move out from home (or whichever equivalent) the way our life continues to evolve is more and more our responsibility, eventually becoming exclusively our own responsibility, regardless of if we like it or not. I.e., it's pretty absurd to blame a child for being traumatised during their upbringing, but as they leave home and become an adult it does bec…
/r/ExRedPill29/12/21 12:01 PM
1

What I've read in most PUA and RP literature in the past is that women are not granted an adult-self and degrated to mere children, which is not the reality I am living in. Agreed. It's bound to turn anyone with open eyes off at some point. But ideologies and (somewhat) subtle manipulation are powerful tools. I just watched some discussion on alpha males, and in all honesty, the "alpha" guy was a literal child. He just kept saying "I am alpha because I'm confident" and the honest response ought …
/r/ExRedPill29/12/21 11:46 AM
4

dating apps ruined my self esteem They're definitely a two-sided sword. For some they work. For lots it's basically a rejection multiplier. RL always wins, but I realise that's not always easy. I don’t have any friends. You need to figure this out first. Sorry if this is obvious to you. Friendly relationships are way less bumpy. If you can't find friends that requires investigating. I know it’s wrong to feel this way but I’m jealous of my roommates who have relationships. That's not wrong to fee…
/r/ExRedPill28/12/21 03:00 PM
7

Good post. Men being betrayed of their birth right to be empathic, vulnerable beings in need of care. I don't know if they're betrayed. Maybe while their young. But as one gets older you're not being betrayed, you're betraying yourself by following certain ideologies and hanging with the wrong crowd. But the imperative of being constantly cool, calm and collected makes attraction robots out of us, alienated from what it really means to be ourselves. Taking "constantly" with a pinch of salt, to b…
/r/ExRedPill28/12/21 02:47 PM
1

We agree on lots, then don't agree on lots. Which I think is fine. Good convo, though. All the best to you. :)
/r/ExRedPill20/12/21 08:09 PM
1

I meant that all philosophy can be taught as an exercise in logic and cognitive development without resorting to fantasy. I don't know if that's true. Think for example of the question "does god exist?" Or "what contains space?" Both questions are philosophical in nature, are they not? What I mean is that philosophy contains all questions, including the unanswerable ones. Really, those are the most exciting ones. The ones at the interface of fantasy and reason. And I'd say (and no one has to agr…
/r/ExRedPill19/12/21 02:16 PM
1

This is a well-reasoned explanation. I like it. Thanks, I appreciate it. Yes, there is quite a bit of overlap between logic-driven philosophy and story-driven religion due to historical baggage, unfortunately. I find your statements regarding religion quite interesting (in a reading between the lines kind of way). No need to walk on eggshells, but it appears that you hold religion in contempt. How come? In terms of philosophy vs religion, here's a hopefully useful example: Forgiveness. This is a…
/r/ExRedPill17/12/21 05:05 PM
2

Ya, this point got me scrutinized and called Entitled and selfish. I worded that in a harsh way, that I didn't intend for. Yeah, harsher than necessary wording does appear to get down-voted more often. I personally try to find the least offensive way of saying the thing that I actually mean. That way if it gets down-voted I know that it's the thought behind the message that did it, not the wording (or my ego). But even so, thoughts don't have to be popular. Women are picky, and rightfully so! I'…
/r/ExRedPill16/12/21 09:39 PM
4

You're very understanding and get what I'm saying! Hope so, happy to help. :) I just need to get new hobbies and become a more fun person to be around, also find my own crowd. Hobbies will help in getting you out of the house and among people as well as provide a concrete reason to talk to others. This in turn will allow you to adjust your social habits. Becoming a more fun person to be around is a bit more complex. Usually, the more at peace with yourself you are, the more open others will be a…
/r/ExRedPill16/12/21 09:24 PM
2

My life is shit and stressful, and I'm supposed to go around chasing people like a dog? Some people seem to think so. But no, you don't have to. That being said, chatting up someone can be fun, so I am not hating on anyone that likes that sort of thing. It's just if one does that all the time, then it's clearly no longer meaningful. My life is shit and stressful This will reflect to the outside world. First you need to turn your life into something you enjoy, then people will be more inclined to…
/r/ExRedPill16/12/21 09:01 PM
2

Agreed, you don't have to pickup women. In fact, it's weird to consider that ex-rp, but hey. I must be in the severe minority Dunno if you are. But it doesn't matter. You clearly have your head screwed on straight, that's a lot more than a lot of men. But, and this is part of your struggle, it's hard to notice. Looks make people come over and can switch their brains off. If you're not blessed like that look for other strategies. Friendship, in general, is a pretty darn good one. I think where pe…
/r/ExRedPill16/12/21 08:45 PM
5

I don't mean this in a bad way, but women aren't member of some uniform class. Same as men. Some are damaged, some are not. And somewhere within that spectrum is the answer to your question. In terms of advice, if needed, it pays to not want to attempt understanding of the other sex as a whole (or any population), but rather as a group that overall might have somewhat shared characteristics, yet is comprised of individuals. Same as men, but different.
/r/ExRedPill16/12/21 08:25 PM
1

No worries. I am glad you enjoyed it. All the best.
/r/ExRedPill16/12/21 08:16 PM
1

What I meant was that the Stoics ought to be indifferent to the thought of all old ancient thought being generalised over. It's a joke, basically. In good spirit, mind you. They would be "coping" in the actual sense of the word, since that's their default state in regard to everything. And philosophy is distinct from religion. They both overlap quite significantly. Regardless of whether one agrees with them or not. Looking at human motivation of religion (disregarding the question does God exist…
/r/ExRedPill16/12/21 08:14 PM
1

You're welcome to view it that way, they are not my words. You'd have to take it up with Homer, I am afraid. All the old stories/religions are basically a cope for mortality. I don't know about that, but I am pretty certain a couple of ancient philosophers just turned in their respective graves. The Stoics aren't offended, though. They be coping. Ultimately, how you view the world is up to you.
/r/ExRedPill13/12/21 11:04 PM
1

I mean, as you say it's theoretical. But ultimately, unless they did something illegal there's very little to do in such a scenario. This is not a holier than thou attitude. I hope it doesn't come across that way. Hatred is poison, as is revenge. I'd understand if someone wanted to get revenge, but I do not think it's the way. They did something dishonourable, and whereas I might've been a fool for letting it get that far, I don't have to join them in the mud. That's always a choice.
/r/ExRedPill13/12/21 10:43 PM
1

would u blame yourself if your business partner backstabbed you and pushed you out? Not for the act itself. I cannot control another's hands nor do I seek to. But in the scenario you describe I've been weak and naive. Being a victim is no virtue, be it, on occasion, unavoidable. From The Art of War: "The good fighters of old first put themselves beyond the possibility of defeat, and then waited for an opportunity of defeating the enemy." Assuming we started from equal footing I'd blame myself fo…
/r/ExRedPill13/12/21 02:31 PM
1

hypergamy isnt a find the best gold mine to me. i dig where im at. with who im with. to make the best of what i have instead of trading for something i dont undertand An enviable position to be in. I might've misunderstood you. Forgive me if I was too sharp. The idea of maxing things out (including people) very much rubs me the wrong way. As per this definition https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypergamy hypergamy is supposed to be the act of marrying up the socio-economic ladder. But I'd argue that…
/r/ExRedPill13/12/21 01:50 PM
5

people want the best I am not convinced people do. Most people want to be happy enough. And that's only subject to external factors to a point. I really dont see how hypergamy is bad. people want the best.... and prefer not to settle. Then go be hypergamous. It's allowed, I just suspect you won't be well liked when people discover you're just looking for the next best thing. Which is what you appear interested in doing. Treating people as mere attributes, just as expendable as money or furniture…
/r/ExRedPill13/12/21 08:49 AM
2

she will leave you for a hotter/better/more successful man This may well happen on occasion. If this is genuinely how she ticks, isn't traceable to your behaviour and you were a good version of yourself, then there's not a lot to do on your part. If it's unchangeable then there's just not a whole lot to be upset at. Even better, to be with a woman like that is a rat race, it's ok to quit and/or be quit. 24 is really quite young, so don't beat yourself up about not having your life figured out. A…
/r/ExRedPill12/12/21 09:49 PM
2

hearing about this crap for 14 hours a day. I can't blame you. It gets old very quickly. I doubt there's a lot you can do atm. You being of another mind clearly isn't enough for him to reevaluate his position, and I fear that's your answer. Will persistence change anything? Have you not already persisted? You stated your position, that's really all you can do. You cannot force reflection or understanding. Ultimately, be open if he wants to talk to you, don't resent him and maybe he'll come aroun…
/r/ExRedPill12/12/21 09:48 PM
2

I can't promise you that this will work for you, but I've always found that the key to finding connection with others is a good connection with yourself. People seem to want to skip that step. Others don't have to value you for you, for you to value yourself. And usually, when you do, and you become more giving to others without expecting anything in return, you will be valued by others. The question is, are you doing something that others should value in your mind? And if you are, then value th…
/r/ExRedPill12/12/21 09:33 PM
11

Likely terrible.
/r/ExRedPill12/12/21 09:20 PM
5

If I was left for another guy, I'd asked myself if I am to blame by possibly mistreating her. But ultimately, if I can look myself in the mirror and conclude that I have been a good version of myself, yet someone decided to leave my life, then that's their prerogative. Don't get me wrong, it might hurt, but it shouldn't be soul shattering. If it's the latter, then you're attaching to much value to your ability to keep a partner that had no qualms about leaving you ... which I personally wouldn't…
/r/ExRedPill12/12/21 05:46 PM
6

There are many reasons why women become single mothers. And it's not like all of them are unlikeable. So to outright say single mothers aren't dateable is just classic over generalisation. Is it a woman's fault if her husband died serving, say? It really depends on why he left, and who she is. I don't think any dating should be done lightly in any regard, but even more so once kids are involved.
/r/ExRedPill12/12/21 05:39 PM
1

Simply put, you're using (really consuming) girls as a means to build a relationship with yourself. So take the girls out of the equation and focus building a proper connection with yourself first. Then you don't need to fantasise about others behaving any which way you might like. Then you don't need others to self-actualise, and can see them for what they are, specifically not you. This will take time.
/r/ExRedPill01/12/21 02:11 PM
1

Asking for forgiveness is blowing this out of proportion. Ask for information. What actually happened? Assume she had good reasons to act the way she did until you know beyond the shadow of a doubt that this is not true. Unblock her, ask her what happened. Say sorry for jumping to premature conclusions (that's what that was). Don't be scared of appearing vulnerable, you clearly felt hurt. Assuming you want to be viewed as masculine: Blocking isn't masculine. It may be appropriate if someone does…
/r/ExRedPill01/12/21 02:03 PM
3

I was shocked because women like that (pretty) don't take a genuine interest in me. Go you! No need to put yourself down like that, though. She started to laugh, and make fun of me for being a virgin. ... While laughing with a big smile on her face she said "I needed more experience on the horse first", and stopped dating me. What a dimwit. She might seem pretty, but she's ugly underneath. Please don't take it to heart. You're completely right, not only did it feel like bullying, it was bullying…
/r/ExRedPill29/11/21 03:07 PM
6

Good post. The only thing I'd disagree with is dating being a straight numbers game. I don't think this is true, albeit I respect that it may work for you. It might be an introvert/extrovert talking point, but I find this to be one of the main hindrances of many men in dating, to take a failing strategy and attempt to implement at scale, hoping it might work, then think themselves to be unattractive if it fails. But anyway, cool if it works for others.
/r/ExRedPill28/11/21 03:21 PM
3

I agree with your premise. just be confident bro This will not work, even if yields short-term success, it's based on a lie. The person sought to skip confidence building. You cannot take a short-cut on the hero's journey. But I disagree with your conclusion. On the other hand, if you're almost always rejected - why would you be confident? Because fully internalised confidence is self-sufficient and doesn't require outside validation or success. But you highlight an important issue. First of, ou…
/r/ExRedPill26/11/21 12:57 PM
2

Please, if this can help someone to uplift themselves, I am game. This may differ from person to person. Usually the issue with these sort of journeys is that one (without necessarily meaning to do so) starts to embed their ideology in their environment. That's one of the reasons why it's basically impossible to get someone out that hasn't themselves felt the impetus of wanting to get out. My advice is, yes. While you're healing, and more specifically building up inner self worth, you shouldn't …
/r/ExRedPill26/11/21 12:29 PM
1

I hope so, too. Questions ought to be encouraged in my eyes. I mean, RP is not a method, it's more of a "philosophy". Some of the entry-level truths are reasonable, being fit is a good thing, as is having your finances sorted out. You don't need RP for that. But then it goes into F&F territory where they invite usually not so clever girls with rather remarkable egos talking about "high-value men" as if there's a number to it. The issue is not the entry, but rather the "gurus" and the conclusions…
/r/ExRedPill25/11/21 08:07 PM
3

I mean talking with the goal to form friendships and human bonds. I'm a creepy pedophile? Lol, no, relax. If you're talking to someone solely because they're young, specifically not an adult because that turns you on in the sense of you wanting to have some sort of sex with them for that reason, then you're a pedophile. But that's not at all what you're describing here. It's perfectly fine to talk to an adult that you're attracted to, even if they're younger than you. In your case (34), I'd take…
/r/ExRedPill25/11/21 07:53 PM
1

In short: no, not in general. It's cynicism. In the individual case, sure, you have all kinds of messed up people doing all kinds of things. Usually though, it's reasonably healthy people being flabbergasted by the dark triad thinking about no one but themselves. In my experience, learn to identify members of that group early and stay away, but many people aren't even aware they exist. Unless this keeps happening to you yourself, I wouldn't worry about how many people mess up in their own life. …
/r/ExRedPill25/11/21 06:30 PM
2

This really tells us more about the author than what it's like to be a man in general. I fear this might be coming from a point of narcissism. The author believes that just because he feels this way it must be true in general. But these things are (a) not that different between men and women, and (b) hugely up to life choices. Nothing in here is new or original, nor is anything particularly harsh. Only a person struggling with their narcissism would find them surprising in my eyes. Yes, the worl…
/r/ExRedPill25/11/21 05:50 PM
1

Honestly, you seem mostly on a good trajectory. You understood a ton of the issue, and you want to get better. You realise that there's something off in your perspective. Great. I really wouldn't date right now. For a good while. I'd advise some you time, therapy, and starting a journal. Instead of going against your anxiety, try to listen in with intent to understand what precisely you're anxious about and why. Try to think of and answer as many questions regarding your anxiety as you can. Writ…
/r/ExRedPill21/11/21 11:14 PM
1

However, it just kills me that I always need to put A LOT OF EFFORT into courting the girl, while some random douche can just get her effortleslly. It's easy to get upset at what people we're attracted to do, but ultimately it doesn't make sense. We cannot truly control what others do. To get upset won't change it. A very simple thing is to start taking a closer look at what it is that people do. It should be part of our attraction equation. If a girl likes a douche (say), then it hints at an is…
/r/ExRedPill21/11/21 10:35 PM
2

And this is the same reason why I'm no longer a male feminist ... I think anyone that values thinking for themselves over thinking as a group deserves respect. But I am sure this ruffled a few feathers on the internet. ;) Pussy, bitch, and loser are usually gender terms that hurt men I've seen some debate on this on this sub. From my experience "pussy and loser" are leveraged against men predominantly. And even if they were used against women their meaning would differ. I.e. "bitch" used against…
/r/ExRedPill20/11/21 11:30 AM
2

Anytime. I think you have the right idea. Usually when you have a connection these dull sort of moments don't really happen. So it's perfectly reasonable (indeed, a good idea) to have that factor into one's "am I actually attracted"-equation. Best of luck.
/r/ExRedPill20/11/21 11:00 AM
2

Meh, I doubt they're all losers, but I agree that they risk looking very weird. To them, it's a reasonable response to how they perceive society. It pays to ask why that might be and if they're wrong on all counts. Calling them losers, though, achieves little in my mind. As an aside, relying on a belief system isn't exactly limited to "sad people".
/r/ExRedPill17/11/21 02:50 PM
4

I suspect she's interested, or at least was. But you're assuming that she's not shy herself, which everything here points at. Based on your post you also seem to think of this as behaviour worthy of "punishment" somehow, at least that's how you're coming across to me. You might want to get that out your system before you do anything. All good on becoming stronger and physically more confident, but please don't become a steamroller for other's emotions. The stronger you become the more you need t…
/r/ExRedPill17/11/21 02:35 PM
1

I mean, it doesn't really sound is if you did anything, so I can't say that you seem to be the problem. I very much wanted to remain single because of my mental health at the time. I mean, this puts you in a rather good light as far as I am concerned. "not her type, so it's better we are friends anyway" That's a very specific thing to say. I think she might've well tried to angle you somewhat. But, through months she's made me feel insecure about my appearance, personality, social status, wealth…
/r/ExRedPill16/11/21 06:39 PM
1

Thanks for your response. I agree, getting a match on tinder or a chat message on some app does not constitute a viable option, or even real interest. That from my perspective is exactly the problem that women face more commonly than men. I always force myself to stay on topic lol (so much to talk about), so I deliberately focused purely on initial attention, or other perception of attention and its skew. It's easy to envy the other lot, when in reality their situation will be annoying for diffe…
/r/ExRedPill16/11/21 11:27 AM
1

Thanks. :)
/r/ExRedPill15/11/21 01:05 PM
8

Let's try a change in perspective: * You left RP. * You've had a gf in high-school. * Some women are super friendly to you. * You're tall. No offense, but that's clearly not all bad. Overweight -> exercise, specifically steady state cardio. Eat better, no refined sugar, no alcohol, no processed meats. No takeaway of any kind. Get cooking. Clearly your finances need sorting. Jobs in bars or something should pay most bills right now, really ask yourself what sort of flat you can afford to rent. Th…
/r/ExRedPill14/11/21 06:48 PM
8

First of all, I completely understand where you are coming from. The issues usually start when someone is generalising across a group or even a word. But it gets worse as one starts to escalate group sizes. Here the generalisation occurs in regards to a sex specific perception of reality across sex lines. That's pretty immediately going to fail quite spectacularly on either side. It appears to be true that men, overall, get much less explicit attention from women than women do from men. Men also…
/r/ExRedPill14/11/21 01:27 PM
7

That self worth can be acquired externally.
/r/ExRedPill14/11/21 11:20 AM
1

Huh, that appears a little unexpected. One of the reasons that RP (I would say) has to aim at short term casual encounters is because their entire act falls apart when someone actually ends up spending time with them. That's one of the base reasonings for a rotation, to limit time spent with any given person. Please disagree, I'd be interested, but that's my take. Now you're saying that some women spend time with RP content mostly aiming at longterm relationships. How would that work? Do they le…
/r/ExRedPill14/11/21 11:18 AM
1

I thought about this and I understand you better now (I think). When I am talking about "self-improvement" I am not some hype monster content creator. I mean it in the true sense of the words, i.e. to improve the self. Which is mostly internal, is usually hard work, and always pays off. Specifically I mean to stop and listen to oneself, reflect on what is heard, and aim to understand oneself through that. Which is a very real thing, even if occasionally spouted by someone who doesn't understand …
/r/ExRedPill14/11/21 11:08 AM
1

As in they actually believe in it and live by it. Thanks. That is interesting, it's not like RP makes any mystery as to what they think of women. I guess codependence is allowed. I'll tread lightly before taking a look. I can just see this going to be pretty bad somehow, lol.
/r/ExRedPill14/11/21 10:40 AM
15

I realise you've only asked for women to comment and I am not that, but I find this really interesting that a woman would be drawn to the RP. How come? Yet I can't really get it out of my head. RP contains exactly enough entry-level truths to place doubt. this is actually secretly how the world works, and how men think around me actually think and what I secretly think of men. Some people undoubtedly think of others as a means to maximise some benefit. People who advocate for these sort of behav…
/r/ExRedPill13/11/21 08:05 PM
3

A good question. Blue vs red is quite binary, though. I fear the world tends to be more complex than that. I'd rather that instead of taking pills (which basically just means listening to some guy on the internet self-asserting his status while asking for money in some form) people begin to appreciate (once again) the value of reason and enlightenment in all their beauty. There are a couple of things to keep in mind. Not everything that RP says is false. Promiscious women exist, as do insecure a…
/r/ExRedPill13/11/21 02:36 PM
11

This sucks man. I am really sorry to hear all this. I don't know if you lost everything, but this right here definitely messed up. I love her but I pushed her away, emotionally abused her, and mistreated her for a year straight. If you can come away learning that that's a wrong thing to do then it's created value. If you cannot, then it's been a waste. It matters what happened, but it matters more what happens next. I think it's a cautionary tale in regards to open relationships, especially when…
/r/ExRedPill13/11/21 01:04 PM
1

Sorry. Many words. because it just sounds like it's too good to actually be true It's wise to question that which seems to good to be true, it usually is. But building inner depth and true understanding isn't exactly an easy venture. It's a significant investment of time. Time one could've spent sleeping with women maybe, or accumulating money, say. A lot of this did not take actual self-improvement but actually took tons of unprogramming Curious, for me unprogramming here is self-improvement. W…
/r/ExRedPill12/11/21 11:41 PM
1

Disagreements are welcome, but I'd like to put the paragraph into context. Based on your comment, I am pretty sure we mostly agree. Nobody gets more confident by getting rejected. Rejection on its own especially in large quantities can easily make someone doubt their self-worth, pushed to the extreme this turns into a barrel without bottom. I am aware of the "strategy" to just rack up the numbers and before you know it rejection won't bother you anymore. But this will make one emotionally stunte…
/r/ExRedPill11/11/21 11:42 PM
8

Yeah, any alpha or RP talk should be a red flag in my eyes. The idea of the "options talk" is that you (you know, because you're a woman) are attracted more to someone who has more options. You need to keep to work him, basically. Because he could leave any minute. I think it's wise of you to not enter a measuring contest in that regard. Nothing good could come of it. What the fuck is this "alpha" power machismo thing and why do red pill men care so much about being "alpha"? It's not real. In my…
/r/ExRedPill11/11/21 08:43 PM
1

lol nw then
/r/ExRedPill10/11/21 09:50 PM
1

It's an interesting perspective. You clearly reflected on this. My question is though, assuming what you say is true. How is it useful to you? Another would be, can you think of a way that you've got this wrong? How would you go about proving that you might be wrong? It's been a while for me that I categorised women or indeed people in general as either attractive or not. Whenever I tried I found an exception that broke the ruleset. The face indicates many things at the same time. So even when t…
/r/ExRedPill10/11/21 05:23 PM
2

Fair question, but note the quotation marks. I guess they're all "leaders". I was mostly referring to the ones that I even know about, i.e. Donovan Sharpe, F&F, Kevin Samuels, Better Bachelor. There is this Tomassi name that I keep hearing being thrown around. But just to be entirely honest, I don't exactly watch RP content on the regular. So these guys might be very yesterday.
/r/ExRedPill10/11/21 05:04 PM
1

The club of people that have had sex isn't special. It's rather ordinary. Self improvement doesn't change the perspective of others, but rather your own of yourself. And as it feeds into deeper understanding of what you are you will find yourself changing effortlessly not into someone different, but into a more developed version of you. Just recently an old ex-girlfriend kept insulting me and calling me weird. There's no value in keeping someone who insults you around. You should block her. To d…
/r/ExRedPill09/11/21 06:04 PM
1

Here's a question, when was the last time you had genuine feelings (not lust) for someone you actually knew for a while, communicated them in a genuine and vulnerable way, and were rejected purely based on your looks.
/r/ExRedPill09/11/21 05:02 PM
5

To reduce humans to individual attributes or properties is shallow. So yes, some women that do this undoubtedly exist. But for the majority it's mostly a downward limiter in the sense that raising a family will cost money.
/r/ExRedPill09/11/21 04:57 PM
1

To any critical thinker the recurring nature of "here is an example of an instance now let me use this as proof for my general point" ought to get very tiresome, very quickly. It's a good rule to learn. An instance is an instance, not a pattern. And if the population is big enough you will find plenty of horrific examples within any subgroup you can think of.
/r/ExRedPill09/11/21 04:54 PM
1

It's a good response I can emphatise with. I would say, though, that the people "leading" TRP are pretty toxic. So by that estimation I expect the movement to be, even if I don't notice.
/r/ExRedPill09/11/21 04:51 PM
1

Not to be confrontational, but Bezos isn't many (as much as he might like to be). And also how do you know for a fact that he was maximising looks in his partner? You appear to be quite convinced of this. Interesting. Just to make sure I understand you correctly, you are of the opinion that money and status doesn't matter at all for finding long or short term relationships. Did I misunderstand? In case I did please rephrase as specifically as you can. I don't really want or need to convince anyo…
/r/ExRedPill09/11/21 04:07 PM
1

Not everyone is trying to maximise the physical attractiveness of their partner first and foremost. Some people just aren't shallow. That's a narcissistic view of the world. It exists, and pretty narcissists exist, but that doesn't make all attractive people narcissistic. It's normal to care about looks to a point, it's not normal that people consider it to be their highest priority to the point of nothing else being able to compensate, as you are describing.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/21 04:12 PM
1

That's quite true. The only thing worse than not getting laid is never receiving true love. I dunno if that's the only thing worse. I can think of a few I'd consider worse. To me, the real tragedy here is not that no one else that cared for you at the end of the life, which, since it requires some sort of third party, may not necessarily be the case. But rather that the person in question never really cared for themselves.
/r/ExRedPill07/11/21 06:59 PM
1

I'd suspect some undoubtedly will. But women aren't a uniform group, so it's definitely not all of them. Any person that reflects on life will necessarily notice that getting older is part of the deal. And as you get older life and health becomes less forgiving in a number ways. Contrast this with someone leveraging youthful looks on the daily without investing appropriate effort into upkeep and longterm strategies, they absolutely will have a rude awakening.
/r/ExRedPill07/11/21 06:51 PM
2

Yeah, it's so easy to get excited that one gets a date with someone who you fancy or whatever. But it really pays to stop and think, do I even want to. I'm pretty sure those things aren't 'tests.' A test usually implicitly implies that passing is better than not. In my mind I view them as dysfunctionality acceptance/codependence test. So there is a test, but not all tests need passing. Personally, for me it's hard to get back on track once I get a feeling that's what's happening. Red pill tactic…
/r/ExRedPill05/11/21 04:58 PM
3

I'm glad if it rung a bell or two. Anytime.
/r/ExRedPill04/11/21 05:07 PM
2

In terms of counter arguments I feel the best arguments are actually provided by taking a good close look at the RP guys (or PUA or whatever) themselves. I.e. DS has a girlfriend that he has somewhat oversold (I think he might be married actually), F&F Myron tries to leverage the podcast to get laid (and not even successfully) and he keeps trying to box people except for when they agree. Neil Strauss openly admits to depression due to sleeping around, so do others in a similar position. Do note …
/r/ExRedPill04/11/21 05:03 PM
3

Hey folks any tips on mentally calming the fears the redpill has brought? Not to be derivative or anything, but yeah, therapy. Not to say that everyone who has encountered RP needs it, but an anxiety/panic attack is a pretty clear signal that something's in pretty bad shape internally. You wouldn't heal out a broken ankle by yourself, so you shouldn't do it with you mind either. Other than that, journal your thoughts and talk to people you trust. It sounds like she already knows anyway so I'd ju…
/r/ExRedPill04/11/21 04:44 PM
1

Thanks for saying that. :) You, too.
/r/ExRedPill04/11/21 04:31 PM
1

In conclusion, we appear to have very different perspectives on life.
/r/ExRedPill04/11/21 12:01 AM
8

Obviously you know better than me, but if you were afraid of women the consistent reaction would've been to be scared during the event. What you're describing here is a panic attack. That's pretty serious and you should have someone look at that for a good while. Please don't ignore these sort of signals. Other than that, you can heal the opposite way you "made" yourself sick, by exposing yourself to life-affirming people (ideally including a therapist and a journal). And you know, see her again…
/r/ExRedPill03/11/21 08:39 PM
1

I’m not necessarily disagreeing. I understand what you mean. It would be ok if you did. It's a highly personal topic. What I hope to provide is what I hope to gain, a different perspective. Many seem to think it's this way or that, I fear it's all ways at the same time, but you have to find them. The funny thing is, even subreddits that preach connection and love seem to encourage partner replaceablity in the quest to find the perfect connection. That to me sounds similarly unhealthy. I have no …
/r/ExRedPill03/11/21 08:19 PM
4

Just needed to vent. Makes sense. He tries to act as if he above or has "transcended" the red pill movement, but he hasn't. I just don't think YouTube is a place for life advice. It's a hit and miss at best. I think overall this might become more common, something like RRP or RPv2. After a while these movements necessarily need to renew. Like Facebook unironically renaming itself Meta, lol. He once stated he can't find a good woman who isn't "infiltrated" by modern feminism. I guess depending on…
/r/ExRedPill03/11/21 07:19 PM
1

The thing is that women I interact with (on a more friendly scale) literally tell me they care about looks the most and not money/status. Well that's a regrettable attitude. It can be wise to distinguish between speech and action. Then again they might mean just that. I wouldn't be upset that it's harder to date those people, if you are. There's a myriad of reasons as to why that might be the case. All warped through the lens of narcissism. One of the best pieces of advice I've ever been given i…
/r/ExRedPill03/11/21 07:04 PM
1

Status is a huge factor in mate selection across human culture. I wouldn't be surprised if that's true. Seems strange to pretend that’s a negative thing. Interesting, would you argue that things become morally better by popularity alone? It's a personal philosophy. I did not mean to question your worldview. Leveraging status and wealth could be quite an effective strategy in finding a partner. Yet, the notion of divorcing materialism from mate selection is hardly an original thought. What makes …
/r/ExRedPill03/11/21 04:36 PM
2

This is an interesting topic. It would've been great to see this balanced against how male behave in terms of body count. My suspicion is that for them it's also not magically fine if they push the envelope to far. Mostly the distinction appears to be between short terms and long term. Clearly for the former it's mostly irrelevant. But I, too, would care about the sexual history of someone in a long term relationship. But this is where context comes in. If someone goes crazy in their early 20s a…
/r/ExRedPill02/11/21 02:26 PM
2

It bothers you, so there's nothing stupid about it. For a meme to be relevant it has to have enough of a stereotype behind it that's relatable to the real world. So there is some truth to this. In this scenario you're basically describing codependency. A very real issue. It's just more tragic than funny. A codependent person seeks validation, indeed a right to exist, through helping solve other people's problems. To such a person an unhealthy partner will be quite attractive. It's a bit twisted.…
/r/ExRedPill02/11/21 02:06 PM
1

By "they" I suspect you mean some, or indeed the worst of men. Yeah some people absolutely care about themselves first and foremost and treat others with bitterness. It's sad but true. And I doubt that it's all that fixable. I've never congratulated a guy for sleeping with many women. I don't know many who I could see doing that that. From a man's perspective it's not great to be friends with a guy who's sleeping around because it's a real risk that it affects your relationships, too. I fear, th…
/r/ExRedPill02/11/21 01:46 PM
3

I am really sorry, but there isn't an easy way out of this one. The key was in the beginning. Sadly many people think they can change their partner. This doesn't work. Either the partner realises themselves that they want/need to change or they don't. If this doesn't work for you consistently over time, then I don't really see an alternative to leaving. A couple of questions to consider, though: * Does he want to change? * Is he willing to start therapy? * Is he still consuming black pill conten…
/r/ExRedPill02/11/21 11:46 AM
10

It got 9,500 likes so, this is a very popular opinion among men. I dunno man. That doesn't sound like a lot. Bear in mind that in the US there are millions of men, in the world it's billions. And most of them couldn't care less about twitter because real world. Also a like doesn't imply "I believe this thing and agree in all possible circumstances and have it deeply integrated into my personal philosophy". Most people don't think deeply about things (weird, I know). So a like here likely just me…
/r/ExRedPill02/11/21 11:30 AM
1

I don’t advocate being reckless, but if two consenting adults decide to have sex then it’s ok as long as nobody gets hurt. That seems reasonable. In order for men to sleep around, they need woman to engage in the same behaviour. I don't mean to offend or anything, I realise that this discussion can sadly turn political at a rather rapid pace, but assuming consent, wouldn't that mean that the behaviour of women you're describing here is part of the problem?
/r/ExRedPill02/11/21 10:27 AM
7

I would say I definitely notice a difference in being able to appeal to attractive women. Based on what you're saying I'd agree in that you're appearing to strike a worse chord than you used to. You never specify the age of the women, so I am expecting that you mean this in general. Relative to a 20y, you might be considered "old", this is true, and quite ok in my mind. BTW, there's this idea sold to younger guys that once you have success & money - you suddenly get a lot of women. I am aware of…
/r/ExRedPill01/11/21 08:40 PM
1

Ah man. It sucked reading this. Glad you got out. Some never do.
/r/ExRedPill01/11/21 05:20 PM
1

Whereas there may well be prostitutes that reject clients, I am pretty certain they mostly have much bigger problems than having sex with a low status male. Also it's not that "women" don't want incels to not have sex. They just don't want to have sex with all men. If a subgroup starts identifying as this that and the other I doubt they even notice. Nor care.
/r/ExRedPill01/11/21 05:16 PM
22

I fear you might be generalising somewhat. Or expecting there to be a general rule to this. Which in my mind there is not. And now suddenly, despite being more appealing on paper - dating is 100x harder. We need to distinguish between univariate and multivariate problems. "Dating" is a multivariate problem. It doesn't just have to do with your looks so long as they don't cross some extreme boundary. A couple of key indicators: * Time, you being a doctor likely means you probably have a lot less …
/r/ExRedPill01/11/21 05:01 PM
3

The "we" you're describing is a purely virtual concept. Roughly speaking an implicit consensus that when given the binary choice more confidence or less, people intuitively understand that more is usually better because it does correlate with success. "We" here is not a group of people who reflect on things for an extended period of time. So to answer your question: Because it's an easily comprehensible "solution" to most issues in the world, "just be confident". Helpful isn't it. It's little mo…
/r/ExRedPill01/11/21 01:37 PM
4

I wrote a great long essay, but I don't want to hit you over the head with it. Basically, by what metric is toxic masculinity working for you. Because it doesn't sound like it is. It's merely the thing you understand "best". From what I can tell you're logic is "I have feelings, I'd like to not have them, so I'll suppress them..." This is not going to work. Having compassion for your feelings is a great step, but the key is to build understanding of your inner state. This can be achieved through…
/r/ExRedPill01/11/21 01:08 PM
2

This topic has interested me for the last 6 months i dont really know why. To me this sort of topic has always been about self-discovery. I think that's ultimately why it bothers so many people. I wasnt always redpill but after a few bad situationships i found what i was doing wrong in redpill. I can understand that. Can I ask what you found to be doing wrong? I.e. how it helped you? "fuck me eyes look" Yeah, I get that. It's just that philosophically speaking, on its own, it's meaningless (mayb…
/r/ExRedPill31/10/21 06:15 PM
2

I see, philosophically speaking hedonism isn't my jam so I am afraid discussing with me won't help. You seem pretty set. Best of luck, regardless.
/r/ExRedPill31/10/21 04:45 PM
2

In general, no, that's absurd. Individually, it's up to you. It's allowed. You don't have to, but you're free to do so. I wouldn't recommend purely for sex, though. But as is always the issue, living life on "easy mode" necessarily fails at teaching you anything. Anyway, ask yourself the question if you've done all the self-development you could've done to make it work in your current location. If so, then you might not have a different option. But usually, people looking to live "life on easy m…
/r/ExRedPill31/10/21 04:32 PM
1

Just based on your own observation, are you under the impression that given two alternatives of men there is (a) always one that looks better than another when considered by any(!) woman, and (b) any(!) woman would always go for that one, completely ignoring everything else? Possibl traits including things like: humour, wealth, status, connection, honesty, integrity, emotional stability,... Take a look at longterm single Joey dating at comicon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuTjFcHE2WI Since y…
/r/ExRedPill31/10/21 03:43 PM
1

Incidentally, you don't know if the grass is green without being able to observe as much. Schroedinger's cat is upset. Or is it?
/r/ExRedPill31/10/21 03:38 PM
3

Meh, slightly ranty and I think you're being overly general in your impression in who's on here. Whatever, it's fine. It's a personal journey. I am certain that other strategies can work for people. I (as others on here from what I can tell) am just interested in being genuine. To stay with your analogy of RP being a "tool", I'd simply never feel comfortable in suggesting what in my eyes is very much the wrong tool for the job. Granted, using a hammer you could probably "smash" a screw in some w…
/r/ExRedPill31/10/21 03:04 PM
4

It's up to you tbh. I think it's good that women can do things. As per the sleeping around part, I don't enjoy that in men, so why hail it in women.
/r/ExRedPill31/10/21 01:37 PM
1

Some of the RP entry level logic is designed to justify the remainder of the narrative so, as with any good lie, it needs to be correct enough to lure people in. That means, some of what the red pill says will be observable in the real world. What now, however, doesn't follow is that their conclusions drawn upon remain correct. Mostly they're not. Criticising individuals is fair, but extrapolating specific examples to an entire gender is a fallacy. This is a pretty individual journey. The only a…
/r/ExRedPill31/10/21 01:12 PM
3

I fear it's a testament to the fact that that's all they can see when they look at half of humanity. It's all a bit tragic. But can't a man easily fall into this trap? Absolutely, especially considering we're the more visual. I work for strip clubs and young women aren't all roses either. That sounds like a rather interesting work environment. Personally, I'd say women are people, so you know most are kind of normal with extremes either way. Now i like women my own age now that im in my 30s. Kin…
/r/ExRedPill31/10/21 12:40 PM
1

Honestly, either can work for people. It's a highly personal experience. The fact that RP tries to necessarily pick one over the other already makes clear that they're being overly general. Not every relationship is good for you, not every bad. It being pre/post 30 really matters only in that perspectives and problems change. I've seen many young guys feeling pressured into "getting to know what they like by casual dating". I don't know that that's necessary. In my mind, any self-development can…
/r/ExRedPill28/10/21 04:33 PM
1

only 21 years old starting to understand life... Fair statement. :) What does cope mean in the incel/blackpill community? Is it something like, give up on yourself, working on yourself to look physically better and financially well off, isn't worth it? Almost certainly. They're akin to a suicide pact in my eyes. It's like a major depression funnel. In a lot of ways you become what you expose yourself to. Please stay away. IDK, do people really wanna do suicide, because they're not attractive? Ab…
/r/ExRedPill28/10/21 12:39 PM
3

STEM fields tend to be dominated by men. Dating-wise, that's not good for either side (generates positive/negative expectations not corresponding to reality). Lots of undergrads are immature, comparatively speaking. :) Sadly ideological leans in universities aren't unheard of. It honestly sounds as if you're on a good trajectory. People show interest, you just don't quite know what to do with it. Stay humble, and every once in a while push your insecurities by saying yes to someone you care abou…
/r/ExRedPill28/10/21 12:22 PM
2

Side note, I am a guy. So feel free to skip. :) When a woman has casual sex with a man that's proof that she's actually attracted to him. Sure, attracted physically. Or drunk enough to not care. Context very much matters. Keep in mind that physical attraction is a single dimension of being attracted. It is simply the most easily comprehensible, neither the most meaningful, nor the most sought after. A bit like money is to being "high value". However, when women want a relationship with a man the…
/r/ExRedPill25/10/21 02:37 PM
2

Unless I move out of here, it's like I have to completely change who I am as a person to be considered attractive to this type. This won't work. Whereas you can develop your personality and change habits and perspectives, in a lot of ways you're stuck with yourself. Being an introvert isn't bad, it's just a little more complicated than being extrovert. The way I currently am, would be very unattractive to this type with my introverted ugly personality. Do you even like these women? Or any specif…
/r/ExRedPill24/10/21 09:21 PM
2

Thanks for saying that. Absolutely. I am happy if it's any help at all. One example: I remember as a 3rd year undergrad I once wished a girl I was interested in good luck on some exam on a particular day [...] This seems like an odd reaction. Either way, she doesn't sound like good news. Lacking additional info I think you probably dodged a bullet there. If you ever beat yourself up about it, don't, she doesn't sound balanced. It should be noted that at 21 her priorities don't have to be super m…
/r/ExRedPill24/10/21 06:16 PM
2

First off, 23 is quite young to have all this figured out. So no worries, it sounds like you're on a good trajectory. So in principle, there might not be anything that needs changing tbh, since you'll mature over time anyway. So I can't really fault anyone here. STEM, in this regard isn't super conducive to self-worth I've felt. The guys got super insecure and weirdly aggressive in their flirting, the women turned uber-picky and often times just plain arrogant as a defense mechanism. So basicall…
/r/ExRedPill24/10/21 01:21 PM
1

I think any person whose opinion actually matters in his regard would agree that they don't actually know Hemsworth. It's easy to assume you find attractive that which is far away. Getting to know them and staying attracted, that's quite complicated.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/21 10:12 PM
1

Logically speaking, handsome being subjective sort of implies ugly being subjective, since by definition that what one finds handsome another may find ugly. But I agree, there's a certain habit to downvote more than have a critical conversation. That's not great, it's just what happens when you give meow meow beenz to the world.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/21 10:05 PM
2

but at least offers some solutions Which ones were you thinking of here, specifically? There's no argument against being fit and healthy and having a modicum of success and ambition. I think that's attractive to anyone, and there's really nothing wrong with it. I'd think about it this way. If the red pill can provide you with a tactic that works even though you look terrible, say, then the looks part wasn't the issue, or at least not enough of an issue to prevent women being interested. The same…
/r/ExRedPill10/10/21 12:03 PM
4

I beat myself up even though I know it's not entirely my fault because of lockdown and my past mental health issues. Like, sometimes it helps to hear this from the outside. Especially over the last year, that's definitely not your fault. The beating yourself up points towards a lack of self-worth. You're looking for validation in places outside of yourself (it seems). I.e. you're depending on the external world to provide something you yourself need to grow. So the bad news is, it's all up to yo…
/r/ExRedPill23/09/21 09:36 PM
4

I think they just want to be lusted after. I get the appeal of being sexually desired in principle, but to genuinely seek it out, even require it is pretty narcissistic, which, from what I understand, makes it rooted in insecurity. I think this phrase is coming from the F&F guy. Honestly, I have trouble seeing anyone having burning desire for either of the two. Didn't he have to pay for sex or do that as a requirement for people to get on the show?
/r/ExRedPill23/09/21 08:42 AM
1

I dunno if you'll ever read this. I just re-read my comment. Maybe I wasn't in the most empathetic headspace at the time. So if I offended you, please accept my apology. I didn't mean to. That being said. Nothing I wrote is outrageous. Spend some time thinking about it if you can. I fear you're caught up in a number of illusions. Breaking them down will hurt, it always does.
/r/ExRedPill23/09/21 08:35 AM
2

Ah, I realise now you're the guy from the other post. You're not fond of my writing it seems. That's ok. Maybe you'll read this. You've been manipulated into thinking that life is pointless based on your externals. This is not true. The thing to prioritise right now would be your internal healing and building self-worth. If you have suicidal thoughts you must go to therapy. The fast track those cases, because it matters. Build yourself first, then you can build relationships. Anyone who has feel…
/r/ExRedPill23/09/21 08:30 AM
3

Yes those "movements" will basically drive you to suicide. It's the only viable outcome if you follow that sort of line of thought. Does that make it a useful line of thought? No. No, it doesn't. even you living with someone else is a boulder to your dating success. I mean, yes, it is. Because you're never truly private. "Yeah bro, just own expensive property, no issue at all, or you won't be loved. Sorry buddy boyo!" It's probably ok to disregard any life advice following a "yeah bro". And nobo…
/r/ExRedPill22/09/21 04:14 PM
4

People say you need to be BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF. Well yes, they say that. But it holds no value. It's more of a throwaway line. I wouldn't even say it's useful, because it adds pressure without being any sort of specific. It's a lazy thing to say, basically. Usually it's implied that you need muscles, car, flat, awesome hobbies, tall height, no anxiety, no mental illnesses, some kind of stoic perfect successful alpha male. Is your expectation to have all these things in your early 20s? Becaus…
/r/ExRedPill22/09/21 03:41 PM
3

I've always felt the connection is the prize.
/r/ExRedPill22/09/21 10:23 AM
13

I doubt that this has to with intelligence. It's regarding upbringing, previous experiences, and/or trauma/pain as well as possibly entirely lacking exposure to healthy women in a world that predominantly thinks the internet is a valid replacement for face to face interactions. General intelligence may make you help solve problems in general, but it (sadly) doesn't imply critical thinking ability. In my mind, it's regarding desperation and suggestibility. I've seen very intelligent people draw e…
/r/ExRedPill22/09/21 10:15 AM
8

"The (RP) wall" seem mostly to refer to a point in time where women become unattractive. They're pretty binary about the whole concept, so I would say no, that's not a thing. At least not in the way they describe it. What is true, and it's not that this doesn't affect men, is that your choices begin to accumulate some time after around 25, certainly by 30. That is, if you eat badly, drink a lot, and party all the time this will begin to show. On the other hand, if you don't, this will too. Basic…
/r/ExRedPill21/09/21 09:53 PM
5

Lol, yeah. I tried casual dating but it just made my existential crisis worse at the time. Sex is somehow being sold as a cure, it's not. Neither is a relationship. In order for anyone else to be enough you first need to be enough. Most people treat a relationship as a way to get better, you first need to get better yourself. Like, there's a literal world of things to do. So find out something that you'd quite like to do other than be in a relationship or have sex. If you can't think of anything…
/r/ExRedPill21/09/21 08:38 PM
2

I mean, yes that is true.
/r/ExRedPill21/09/21 08:24 PM
6

I honestly think that anything that concerns itself with dating as the topic would necessarily turn red pill because that's (sorry lol, I like bullet points) (a) who it attracts and (b) who is unlikely to be dating at that time or for long and (c) anyone who has normal dating success wouldn't even look for those forums because they're not looking for advice. So, yeah. I can't really fault anyone for that to happen. I once watched a friend of mine register for a dating app. She had messages flood…
/r/ExRedPill21/09/21 08:17 PM
5

There are good reasons to do this I find. For one it consumes time, time I'd rather spend with whom I like, not pretending to spend it with them through ASCII and emoticons. World is weird. Also just lol, some people are upset way too easily.
/r/ExRedPill21/09/21 07:58 PM
1

You're killing me.
/r/ExRedPill21/09/21 05:57 PM
1

Point was it's not a study my guy. Can someone please replace this bot with anything other than a basic string matcher .*[Ss]tudy.* ?
/r/ExRedPill21/09/21 05:55 PM
1

Hmm. I liked the idea of judging for implication. That's a reasonable strategy to find LTR partners. I do that when looking at women, too. Pretty narcissists exist regardless of sex. And they can really mess you up. Anyway, I found this quite interesting: https://www.misterpoll.com/polls/196873/results Consider the questions regarding women checking out the "package" of a man. Is this a representative study, no, but then again neither is TikTok.
/r/ExRedPill21/09/21 05:54 PM
3

Erich Fromm "The Art Of Loving", first half. Second half I found a little utopian. Marcus Aurelius "Meditations".
/r/ExRedPill17/09/21 12:54 PM
5

Already mentioned, but stop looking at FDS. There's nothing of value there. It's not as simple as saying that these women don't exist. It's just that they're nowhere near as common as you think. So you want to be aware without turning hyper-vigilant. Go outside and spend time with real people having no intention of "finding a date". Not everything is dandy in the real world either, but it's certainly an awful lot less of a doomscroll out here.
/r/ExRedPill17/09/21 09:58 AM
9

KS has some videos where he literally turns on music instead of doing content if he feels the ratio viewers vs likes isn't enough. And then he tells the audience off for not liking his content enough. It's difficult to put a number on just how much that turned me off. At first I thought, ok someone who isn't afraid to speak his mind this could be interesting, but then I got some strong high-value alpha type vibes. Using software as an analogy I'll take beta over alpha any day of the week, thanks…
/r/ExRedPill17/09/21 08:56 AM
2

I agree with you. In a village small town type scenario there's a risk of too few options and those few options being attracted away to the major cities, where now the opposite is true: Too many options for everyone (certainly anyone attractive), leading to a culture of replaceability. Neither seems great to me. A nice smallish city with good quality of life is where it's at in my mind.
/r/ExRedPill13/09/21 10:21 AM
21

Unless you know for a fact that you've been played, which it seems you don't, then don't assume you were being played. Assuming that her sister was at here place, or someone else equally close, it makes perfect sense to me that she didn't want to hookup within the same building at that time. I, too, would not be up for that. The way that I see it, you basically rejected a hookup in a car or whatever because you weren't comfortable with it. Which is fine. She offered, you refused. You're the acto…
/r/ExRedPill12/09/21 08:11 PM
16

I didnt really want to, I felt somethign was wrong That's not being played, that's just a reasonable reaction by you. It does sound a little fishy. Then she said she’s gonna do sports with someone else then, she’s very energetic etc lol. Yes that certainly seems to be the case. Then she said too late Yeah whatever. If she meant it the first time around and you're not weird about it now, she'll come around (if that's what you want, which I am not super convinced by). The question is how important…
/r/ExRedPill12/09/21 07:09 PM
3

Otherwise you're no different than any other thirsty dude with a parasocial relationship with her social media. That's a solid point.
/r/ExRedPill12/09/21 06:07 PM
2

rooted in insecurity. That's the issue then isn't it. You need to generate self-worth outside of a romantic context first. Ideally this happens before you get into a relationship. Like literally, take up any sort of hobby, or get good at school/college/work. Whichever. Anything you care about that's primarily about you and your progress in life.
/r/ExRedPill12/09/21 06:03 PM
3

How so?
/r/ExRedPill12/09/21 05:51 PM
3

Before you ask, yes I'm depressed, but I'm getting better. Accepting reality is key to my improvement. Agreed. Thanks for being so open and adding that straightaway. It really helps to put your post into perspective. Please get therapy if you're not already :) TL;DR Both are false, at best highly skewed over-simplifications of reality. Both contain entry-level truths to manage the victim's entry. If a woman can only love Chad (whoever this is, exactly), then she cannot love at all. Women are hum…
/r/ExRedPill12/09/21 02:10 PM
1

Nah, pretty happy where I am at. I think it's mostly people that have the thought of sex governing them like an internalised dictator that this would appeal to?! I've definitely obsessed over sex in my early 20s. But it's a learning experience to find that there are more important things than sex, and you start discovering yourself. Also sex can super fuck you up. Excuse the pun. In the end sex shouldn't be this super big thing that you always obsess about, it's a passing thought or event that c…
/r/ExRedPill11/09/21 06:38 PM
1

I hadn't heard about her before. So I've downloaded a few of her podcasts. Seems to be saying pretty sensible stuff. I didn't get annoyed with her so far which means a lot. ;) It pays to remember though, that for her it's a business, it doesn't make her any worse at her job, it's just a good thing to keep in mind.
/r/ExRedPill11/09/21 06:24 PM
4

Not all men If you mean this, then why write the remainder of the post? Let alone in r/exredpill? Especially since you conclude with a rather general Men just aren't a good investment. If I combine this with your Not all men prefix, we arrive at some men are not a good investment. Yup. True that. In terms of adoption: You're saying adoption/sperm donation is fine. What do you do if the child is a boy? Do you abort because of his sex? As you've established, it's silly to assume that he'll return …
/r/ExRedPill11/09/21 09:13 AM
2

Any adult must be capable of leading themselves first and foremost. Ideally the interaction between the two partners is based in dialogue. So no leading should be required. I think by the time it is, at least one party will be quite frustrated with it, and it's not always the one being led. In the interest of effectiveness, it usually makes sense for the partners to split up responsibilities between them, and they should lead the execution in their respective fields with important decisions made…
/r/ExRedPill10/09/21 08:54 PM
3

Hey man, great post, thanks for sharing. What I'm trying to understand is what exactly that feeling is? I've never felt a pain like it before. I'd say you're traumatised. Shook to the bone. And yes you should absolutely have that looked at by a professional. Don't worry about explaining it to a therapist. It's their responsibility to understand. Just get there. I don't know that much about the "black pill", but it just sounds like nihilism in a "sexy" coat. The ideological content appears akin t…
/r/ExRedPill10/09/21 08:41 PM
2

I rarely ever see women praising muscles on the internet Well I wouldn't believe everything you see on the internet. ;) Muscles help, lower bf will show more of the same muscle so will also help. Both to a point. Just please don't obsess over it. Lots of people have lost their minds in this regard. And eating disorders are very very real. In terms of your face, no matter what it looks like now, it'll look better if you're lean and eating healthy. So you know, go do. My issue is that a low body f…
/r/ExRedPill10/09/21 03:20 PM
2

And you can. It's allowed. I always found the idea of a movement a little weird, because it seems no one is keeping you from living that life. To me personally, there are few goals more worthwhile than having a family. In my mind, any selection of hobbies is little more than a past time in comparison. But I can see how this can depend on individual experiences. Are there risks associated with it. Sure. Does it matter, I don't think so. Pick your partner as wisely as you can at the time and treat…
/r/ExRedPill10/09/21 11:31 AM
3

He basically dismantled RP in two sentences.
/r/ExRedPill09/09/21 02:10 PM
3

At some point everyone needs to take responsibility for the company they keep. I hope he makes it out. He seems solid.
/r/ExRedPill09/09/21 02:07 PM
7

Honestly, I quite like the guy. With him I have the feeling that he's genuinely trying to help people. I haven't watched a ton of his content, so I am open to more critical viewpoints. But based on what I've see, I agree with you. For example just watch his conduct in the "The Dating Coach Civil War" youtube video compared to the goons surrounding him. The issue I have is that it must be obvious to him what sort of idiots he surrounds himself with. Maybe there's a side to him I haven't seen yet.…
/r/ExRedPill09/09/21 12:49 PM
3

If you're quite young, say sub 25y I think this is quite normal and comes in phases. In my super non-expert opinion, there's little to fix here, your biology is basically a bit of a mess. Some people seem to have it all sorted in this phase, I certainly didn't. Relax if you can. Try not to be super weird, a little is fine, life's a little weird. Spend time with people you like, get to know them, ask one of them out if you want to, just never feel like you have to. A relationship is not a require…
/r/ExRedPill09/09/21 10:17 AM
10

"Ok Honey, Just grab the fire extinguisher, no big deal" Actually I find the idea of anyone keeping their shit together in a situation where most would just panic really rather attractive. Well, I think it's ironic, here we have the alphas, the best of the bunch, and they want to find submissive women. Surely to someone that's that great, everyone should be submissive, no? I got that wrong you say?
/r/ExRedPill08/09/21 10:04 PM
2

but the like dislike ratio was so good, that I "overrid" that instinct of the info being off and believed it That's the real lesson here, I think. Just remember, the cake is a lie!
/r/ExRedPill08/09/21 09:57 PM
8

Not to be cliche, but the path is the goal. Personally, I'd never program myself to do anything. Programming yields fickle habits. Understanding will change you from the bottom up. And if you understand that for the most part the other guy is just like you, it shouldn't be hard to be nice to him.
/r/ExRedPill08/09/21 09:54 PM
1

This site is really quite interesting. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide Mostly it appears to be white men. Which is a curious distinction. It appears then that there are a large group of men, predominantly white (by a factor of about 2.5, which is rather large), that feel there's no point in being alive. I wouldn't be surprised if RP isn't super helpful to someone that's already considering suicide. Predominantly because RP doesn't give a way out. The only ways out appear black…
/r/ExRedPill08/09/21 08:27 PM
3

Shy on its own is fine. When shy continues to get in the way of things you want to do and affects your life negatively then there's likely something else going on. Loud people can leave bad impressions. And no one would call them shy. nobody ever pulled me out of it It's worth finding out where your shoelaces are so you can pull yourself up every once in a while. 23 and still the same as I was when I was 6. In what regard, specifically? This seems quite a sweeping statement as it stands.
/r/ExRedPill07/09/21 09:36 PM
1

I honestly believe the thought through answer is you can't/shouldn't. You're quite right, everything in RP basically ought to end up MGTOW. Based on what I've seen the objective appears to simply separate the sexes.
/r/ExRedPill07/09/21 09:27 PM
1

It's quite easy, go to where women are without intending to go there to meet women.
/r/ExRedPill07/09/21 09:15 PM
2

Correlation vs causation.
/r/ExRedPill07/09/21 09:10 PM
6

body count and how it affects people's value. That'll be hard to debate, because it's basically up to you. It think overall it's pretty solid not to pick someone who's been known to sleep around.
/r/ExRedPill07/09/21 09:09 PM
2

You mean during a global pandemic? I think it's mostly logistics.
/r/ExRedPill07/09/21 08:53 PM
1

Such women undoubtedly exist. And if you watch F&F enough you might even think it's most of them. Just keep their as well as your selection bias in mind. Note that at the same time these "gurus" are pulling very real cash out of a lot of very real pockets warning you to not fall victim to a user. Too late for some.
/r/ExRedPill07/09/21 08:52 PM
–

You're giving off some RP vibes, but that's cool questions are questions. It's not that nothing is about power, but also not everything is about power. Life is a dance through structures and with people, why would dating be any different. But a dance is a dance, it's not a necessary evil to achieve some prize. And if that's all it is, I daresay that person wouldn't be terribly good at it. Its like this push and pull of playing hard to get. Showing interest but not too much. You're welcome to do …
/r/ExRedPill07/09/21 08:38 PM
4

I had a feeling it might. I am sorry that it does. Basically all you're describing comes down to something you're not even at fault for. Forget about your list, you need to build a loving relationship with yourself. You're lacking one and it doesn't have to be like that. That easily beats anything you've listed. Whereas I don't know you, it's important to understand that your experience of the world is not weird, or at least not as weird as you might think. Based on what I've read you're experie…
/r/ExRedPill06/09/21 03:47 PM
1

Indeed.
/r/ExRedPill06/09/21 03:34 PM
10

I get the supposed meaning of alpha/beta, but the underlying meaning is so complex and context dependent that in most usages it's borderline pointless outside of saying some people are more assertive than others. I think it's great if people are competent. Everyone should aim at competence. In fact everyone should aim at excellence in my mind. I think anyone who's competent at life will be attractive. If you call that "alpha", be my guest. Just don't try to shame the other lot. But this overly s…
/r/ExRedPill06/09/21 12:06 PM
5

I agree with you, I also don't think you're depressed, or least I doubt it's the leading order issue. Does this resonate with you at all? "Young children naturally have a playful and curious spirit about them. Sometimes it is fun to just watch them innocently explore the world around them. But if children are not properly attended to, validated, treasured, and loved, this spirit can be squashed and damaged. Many times, parents who are neglectful also use shame and humiliation when the child atte…
/r/ExRedPill05/09/21 09:36 PM
1

It depends on what you mean when you say "score" as well as the actual individual involved. As well as your definition of average. Some people just gel, looks don't matter a ton then (outside of looking terrible). Looks are often considered as the most important attractor. I get that, but I think it's just one of the easiest to understand. The more short-term an encounter is, the more important looks likely will be. But even then humour is up there.
/r/ExRedPill05/09/21 02:33 PM
1

Solid choice, I realise that's quite a difficult thing to untangle yourself from, best of luck. Yes, that's fine. In general anything that doesn't hurt anyone else is fine. Bullies exist, don't worry about them, they have a tendency to find someone their own size eventually. Ideally, one day, that's you. No matter which way I turn her words, that's a pretty bad tweet. Forget about you, she sounds like way worse a loser to me. Like i get it im a loser It's not ok to put yourself down. Just do the…
/r/ExRedPill05/09/21 02:09 PM
3

I think this tells us more about Chris Rock internals than society. Anything can be true from a certain point of view. From my perspective, it sounds more cliche than particularly reflected. I get what he's trying to say, it just seems a little basic to me.
/r/ExRedPill05/09/21 01:37 PM
1

When I am in doubt about this it pays to speak to someone of the older generations. They've seen so much more. As a whole I think we need to understand that the news-cycle (be that mainstream or on something like reddit) is super short, and it's not great for our mental health. Point being, world is going to keep on turning, and things will turn worse and better. Little Zen gem: "In the landscape of spring, there is neither better nor worse. The flowering branches grow naturally, some long, some…
/r/ExRedPill05/09/21 01:32 PM
3

Well, they have a pretty one-sided and generalist view of women. So I don't hold their views in a terribly high regard tbh. It sounds like trying to go back to 50s. If the only value they see in being a man is to be a provider (which sounds a little self-deprecating to me), I guess that's one of the conclusions one could draw.
/r/ExRedPill05/09/21 01:18 PM
2

Lol, "amirite" ?! The five stages of grief include bargaining, so there could be some of "but I am not totally wrong, right?" type defensive posturing. Yeah, pretty solid advice, don't listen to someone to self-proclaimed gurus on the internet. Especially if their main interest rather clearly is clout ("hit that button!") and money ("so guys, I got some new merch out, go buy!"). Personally, I'd go as far as to say don't listen to influencers, at all. Their business is marketing.
/r/ExRedPill05/09/21 01:12 PM
2

Lol, maybe they just didn't have sex while being in a relationship.
/r/ExRedPill05/09/21 01:06 PM
4

Do you have any such example ideas? I am new here, but it's not an on/off switch. So assuming that people join this sub as they exit, I don't find the general notion of this too disturbing. So long as it doesn't cross a boundary and is open to logical critique it might be enriching even.
/r/ExRedPill05/09/21 12:58 PM
4

I think it's important to distinguish between entry-level views that are supposed to ring true, and conclusions drawn upon them.
/r/ExRedPill05/09/21 12:55 PM
1

Absolutely. Sadly if someone hasn't been alone for a few years and not lost their stuff, it can be difficult to tell as to why they're looking for a relationship. Are they interested in spending time with the other person, or are they a little interested but mostly tired of being alone.
/r/ExRedPill05/09/21 11:03 AM
1

There is a certain irony that one of the most attractive qualities of a person is the capability of being alone and being fine at the same time. At least I think so. Being forced to learn to deal doesn't have to be a bad thing. As always, it's what you make of it.
/r/ExRedPill03/09/21 09:04 PM
1

Thanks. I wasn't quite expecting that. Takes two to tango, though. :) I don’t think we’re as bothered by rejection as the guys are because we don’t value first impressions quite as much. Can you go into a little more detail, please? I am not sure I follow. Our assumptions might be different. That, to me, is the ideal system! I fear it'll come with its own problems. What about the men who never get approached? Should they just accept it? Will they? I’ve spoken to women before who complain about g…
/r/ExRedPill03/09/21 08:53 PM
1

Have you seen the threads on TRP asking its members to reflect on ... Admittedly, I had not. Can't say I am surprised, though. Radical movements just turn crazy in the light of day.
/r/ExRedPill03/09/21 07:44 PM
1

Well, because if someone has slept with a bunch of girls it means that’s the number you have to compete with. even if you are enjoyable in bed - someone else was way better To me, what you're describing here is a pretty loveless match. This shouldn't be an issue if there's a genuine connection. Which admittedly is rare. I've tried casual dating, but stopped pretty quickly in the interest of my own well-being. It’s that we don’t really choose, so much as we pick someone from the people who chose …
/r/ExRedPill02/09/21 08:01 AM
1

Too many men, including almost every Red Pill man I've interacted with, do not. All of these guys seem conveniently forget that they have a mother, sisters, grandmothers. The notion of not caring about women (or indeed just people) but still wanting to be respected for logical thinking capabilities is a bit weird to me. Not that it makes their behaviour any better, but based on what I know about RP, lots of the guys dropped into it based on trauma received in their own dating life. Which in all …
/r/ExRedPill02/09/21 07:24 AM
1

I am, and I do care. To me mainstream should imply a certain readiness to observe even from the outside. Like pop music on the radio type thing. What do you think? NB: Mysogynist men exist, there's no question about it for me.
/r/ExRedPill01/09/21 07:14 AM
1

Ah ok. I can work with that. The comment I was replying to didn't specifically say in isolated interaction with women. It makes me feel insecure and like they just want to use me and treat me like crap. Sorry to hear that. But why feel insecure in response to a "man's" insecurity? Based on his value structure he's trying to impress you. In a super odd kind of way. If they think that a number is an achievement, they will treat you like crap, and it's a fiery hot red flag. So, you know, leave.
/r/ExRedPill01/09/21 07:09 AM
0

As in I am red-pill and not ex? I am neither. I just learned to be careful around generalisations, they lead nowhere good in my experience, no matter who they're used by. To hopefully ease your mind: I think most of RP is pretty vile. And by most I really just mean that I haven't seen every last minute of it. So I am against RP without being ex, but I still care who I stand shoulder to shoulder with.
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 03:13 PM
1

Yeah that's fair.
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 03:02 PM
2

Lol, I hadn't thought about that. I guess for a short time? How do you tell?
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 01:39 PM
3

Do you think all of RP are sociopaths?
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 01:37 PM
2

Maybe this is a culture thing or something. I guess I am standing for the fringe view that these are not all mainstream. To me you're just describing bad people. They exist, that's true.
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 01:29 PM
1

I agree, I just try to distinguish between actual perpetrators and those that don't know any better. And from a certain perspective I guess none of them know any better.
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 01:19 PM
-1

Not really, no. I get that the internet likes your comment more than mine. Just remember that this is hugely dependent on who you surround yourself with.
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 01:18 PM
2

Hmm, I don't follow. You don't want to argue the accuracy of each example, you just assert that they're all mainstream. Doesn't that seem a little convenient to you?
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 08:41 AM
1

Some love for the crickets.
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 08:36 AM
-4

Hmm, I've literally never heard anyone congratulate themselves on how many women they've slept with in rl. It's a pretty odd thing to say. I guess I am asking what's your basis to say this is mainstream?
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 08:36 AM
3

Possibly. Anyone who feels alone in the world is certainly vulnerable to preachers. I'd never try to push a religion on anyone, just therapy. ;)
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 08:14 AM
1

Interesting, haven't heard that before. I am divided on the issue. On the one hand I think that RP basically wants to be its own religion, as any sufficiently radicalised movement doesn't really leave any space for anything else. On the other, certain surface level ideas may overlap.
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 08:12 AM
1

I dunno if all do. Some certainly. It's very hard to tell at times. I think they suffer from a rather severe delusion.
/r/ExRedPill31/08/21 08:05 AM
1

You're absolutely correct. Everything else is little more than mannerisms and jargon. But viewing everyone in your life as pawns requiring manipulation to do your bidding (be that sex or whatever). It can really do a number on your soul. Viewing these guys' content it often becomes clear how embedded this style of thinking is with them. I doubt they'll make it out tbh. Good on you for noticing before it was too late. You don't have answer, but have you tried going to your family and simply sayin…
/r/ExRedPill30/08/21 09:33 PM
3

My cousin broke up with a guy to be together with another. She really enjoyed that he was helping her load the dishwasher. I get that, tbh. Edit: In the interest of fairness it should be noted that the latter has the better paid job but also comes with a kid. So quite an interesting scenario. Lack of ambition seems to be a killer.
/r/ExRedPill30/08/21 10:39 AM
2

I have some many questions.
/r/ExRedPill30/08/21 10:37 AM
1

Didn't you just ask for an ideological avalanche lol. I guess "Kamikaze" is a pretty fitting name. :) But I think it's a fair question. It super depends on the content you watch, basically. The entry-level assumptions are ok in my mind, but that's also kind of their point. I think RP used to be ok in the beginning, even a counter movement to 3rd wave feminism, but it's gotten a bit weird even for my taste.
/r/ExRedPill30/08/21 10:33 AM
-2

I guess you mean "men/women are like that"? Well. It's true to a point. But unless you're dealing at a macro-scale you really have to keep in mind the individual for it to be meaningful. The core issue is that most people don't really get what stats mean.
/r/ExRedPill30/08/21 10:15 AM
5

I never approached another woman in three years, as I don't think I fully recovered. That's quite a healthy thing to do. You may never completely heal, but that's pretty normal, as well. I fear the RP beliefs are just entry-level. Embracing or even attempting to embrace the dark triad is the core issue and you've likely traumatised yourself. This will take some time and honestly, some outside help. I find it hard to believe that you lost your family for all time to come, that's where I would sta…
/r/ExRedPill30/08/21 10:10 AM
6

I honestly think it's borderline pedo to be actually sexually involved with some 18y old at 40y+. The RP philosophy has always been a bit meh, because it draws such a caricature of itself here. It should be noted that for most people 18-25 is a pretty chaotic time. So you might have missed out on some good stuff and quite a lot of drama. I wouldn't be too worried. Curiously, my former Karate teacher (at 42y) was thrown out of the association because he slept with an 18y student after training he…
/r/ExRedPill30/08/21 09:50 AM
4

it is amazingly hard to find someone young and "click" with them Remove "young" from your statement and it still holds true. So you know, you're fine. it is incredibly hard to get and maintain a relationship with a young person Same here, this is quite true overall. people want things they can't have Meh, this was definitely true for me when I was younger. It's just not a realistic perspective on life. There will be things that are outside of your control, and that's pretty normal.
/r/ExRedPill30/08/21 09:39 AM
2

Sorry for calling it a rant. That was more provocative that I intended to be. I think we agree on everything but semantics. To the guy this can easily be a life changer, because it shows him that what previously seemed utterly impossible can indeed be done, by him no less. Now if those results scale, and/or be consistent is a different matter. But this single event on its own can easily be life changing and indeed represent a complete 180, since his perceived value went from 0 to >0, being an in…
/r/ExRedPill29/08/21 08:45 PM
3

He just doesn't sound that bright tbh. It's pretty difficult to listen to for me, but maybe I am distracted by his trained mannerisms. And he's moving around a lot. Then the are the condoms in the back. Classy dude. Ok, given up at 1:36. Anyone made it further I respect your convictions.
/r/ExRedPill29/08/21 06:43 PM
3

It's Peter Pan style logic, let's just not grow up. It'll be fine. Eventually I'd like to talk to someone my own age, thanks. Lots of men and women let themselves go as they age.
/r/ExRedPill29/08/21 06:35 PM
5

I can see what you're saying, and I wouldn't even disagree, but tinder matches without indication of effort isn't a terribly good metric to me. It's super skewed.
/r/ExRedPill29/08/21 05:30 PM
1

We shouldn't forget that 1-2 matches are a lot if you only swipe once a month, but very little if it's a fulltime pursuit.
/r/ExRedPill29/08/21 05:25 PM
7

What works depends hugely on you. Personally, I like to reflect on what hurts, why, and if I was at fault, if so how specifically. I am politely forcing myself to articulate the pain so as to process it better. The better you understand the pain, the easier it'll pass. Now that's an adults perspective, if you're young, the first few times feel like the world is about to end. Keep your head up, give it time, and (be it difficult) try not to take it to heart, too much.
/r/ExRedPill29/08/21 11:31 AM
3

I guess it's up to you. To a large degree you will become who you surround yourself with. I don't mean to be rude, but if you find troubled childhoods interesting, you've either had one and this sort of behaviour seems familiar, or you really haven't and it's new and exciting. Personally, when I read that list of yours all I can think of is a ticking time-bomb. If you're super young then just keep in mind that drama as you describe it here is pathological, which means it will quite literally rep…
/r/ExRedPill29/08/21 11:14 AM
1

If a guy cannot date for the life of him and he only ever gets rejected, then is that really a made up problem? If this same guy can now get attention from women simply but changing a few behaviours around, then how did RP not change his life? I think RP has turned pretty vile tbh, but I fear this rant isn't quite accurate either.
/r/ExRedPill29/08/21 10:48 AM
3

That's the reason I am not dating isn't it. It wasn't my fault all along! Edit: at least I still have my work!
/r/ExRedPill28/08/21 01:11 PM
4

Sorry about that. My ascendent is Taurus if that makes it any better.
/r/ExRedPill28/08/21 01:04 PM
2

Well this should be fun. :) Edit: 100% true. Especially the bit "you aren't working today, must be nice."
/r/ExRedPill28/08/21 12:52 PM
3

Ah, so maybe I am going against my nature by being nice to people. I should stop. Edit: Scorpios are not that bad, are they?
/r/ExRedPill28/08/21 12:51 PM
1

As I said, I don't agree on everything he says. If I recall correctly usually the first halves of his books are pretty superb, then the other half is a way to construct a society out of it. He usually lost me somewhere in the second half.
/r/ExRedPill28/08/21 12:49 PM
1

I have seen guys who (at least during a period in their life) seem to be able to date a high number of women, or at least have opportunity to do so. I guess "chad" is just a generalising descriptor for these people within that period of their life.
/r/ExRedPill28/08/21 12:47 PM
1

Personally, I'd say that body building is a bit of an extreme lifestyle anyway. It doesn't directly correlate with muscular for me, personally.
/r/ExRedPill28/08/21 12:45 PM
1

How can I avoid the rp when there are stats to back it up? What you're quoting here is RP entry level stuff that's designed to be true enough to reel you in. It's not the entry to RP that's the issue, it's what follows. All of these results are highly complex and non-univariate systems. And they're not female specific either. Allow me to follow up with some selective and super non-sexy analysis. 50% marriages end in divorce Yes, lots of divorces, the need for the atomic family is less strict tha…
/r/ExRedPill28/08/21 12:39 PM
2

I'd order dating coaches based on their focus. If someone argues for connection, this can be a worthwhile thing to hear. I'd just never spend thousands of dollars on it. Having seen both a dating coach (without burning racks and stacks) and a therapist, the therapist turned out more cost-effective.
/r/ExRedPill28/08/21 12:12 PM
3

It seems to be a little counter-movement to the classical understanding of the alpha male. I suspect guys overdid it a bit with their attempts to be alpha so even within the own movement people got frustrated. I order to capture these guys a new label was in order? Seems to be a less loud alpha capable of being the alpha. So a slightly different version of the same thing. The expert resource on the topic I used: https://themindfool.com/sigma-male/
/r/ExRedPill28/08/21 11:52 AM
10

What's wrong with capricorns?
/r/ExRedPill28/08/21 11:47 AM
2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lCK7HuLUwA Shortcut: Ask him if he wants to be like any of the guys above. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socratic_method The Socratic Method is basically a cooperative dialogue, which distinguishes it from a debate which can be considered quite competitive. "... it is employed to bring out definitions implicit in the interlocutors' beliefs, or to help them further their understanding." In a nutshell, his position matters, yours doesn't. What you would be convince…
/r/ExRedPill28/08/21 11:33 AM
1

Yeah give it a shot. It's a perspective I found very helpful in life. Best of luck.
/r/ExRedPill28/08/21 07:52 AM
3

This post deserves more love. ;)
/r/ExRedPill27/08/21 08:57 PM
1

We need a new concept of masculinity, we need new and different kinds of men. Doesn't it seem unreasonable to assume that men are not in fact vulnerable after a heartbreak? Heartbreaks suck. I thought everyone knew this. Do you think RP and men are interchangeable terms?
/r/ExRedPill27/08/21 08:55 PM
2

I forget about this quite often. I simply don't think people would lie about their achievements.
/r/ExRedPill27/08/21 08:33 PM
1

Personally, I've not evidenced any women sexually attracted to dogs (I may not be in the know, though). They do seem to think they're terribly cute. Truthfully, I'd be ok not knowing, too. From what I understand in marketing dermatology products this is much the same. Not everything "dermatologically proven" is FDA approved.
/r/ExRedPill27/08/21 08:31 PM
1

To clarify, I care about the welfare of all women on the planet. I have no doubt. I agree that words are often used in ways that are easily misunderstood. People are often times the least accurate when it matters most. Should I say I love every woman on the planet? I suppose that depends on who you wish to become. Without going too deeply into the politics of the author, Erich Fromm defines love in The Art Of Loving as below: “Love is not primarily a relationship to a specific person; it is an a…
/r/ExRedPill27/08/21 08:15 PM
3

Would you say that you experience love and lust differently? It doesn’t help the obfuscation that love refers to an entirely different emotion outside the context of sexual relationships. Interesting, here I would say there is no difference in emotion at all, merely in expression. Can you tell me a difference between love in and outside of a sexual relationship? I think it's important to make sure that we talk about the same thing to understand what specifically we disagree on. Here is what I me…
/r/ExRedPill27/08/21 12:24 PM
4

Between lust and love, you mean?
/r/ExRedPill27/08/21 11:47 AM
6

Thank you. Lol thanks also for the timestamp.
/r/ExRedPill27/08/21 08:27 AM
6

I think people get information in different ways. It depends on what you are able to experience in rl. I agree that when someone is able to experience both lust and love they can draw a comparison. But without it they usually just know one-sided lust. That's not that great a source for unskewed information.
/r/ExRedPill27/08/21 08:26 AM
8

Yeah, fair enough. I was a bit confused growing up and tried to casually date. Maybe I just never got good at it, who knows. After having a mechanical interaction a few times I was pretty over it. I am sure one-night-stands can work, but to live your live "casually" is unlikely to be the way for sure.
/r/ExRedPill27/08/21 08:23 AM
9

Isn't it fun how even in admitting that they're scammers he still blames the other guys. Oh man stupid narcissists are just the best. Can add a link or title for this video, please?
/r/ExRedPill27/08/21 08:19 AM
2

If you're a jealous type (I suspect most of these guys are), then the set of potential alternatives for any of your "harem" (or whatever) has just doubled. That's gotta be pretty upsetting. Don't trp not realize that ... RP isn't really in the business of realising things. They're in marketing.
/r/ExRedPill27/08/21 08:08 AM
2

Not in my mind. In order to understand, criticise and even convince RPs, you need to be able to express it in a way that they're used to.
/r/ExRedPill27/08/21 08:03 AM
1

Maybe as an entry. It is quite common that people project their frustrations on others in order to act them out at least a little (be it not real). There is a lot of valuable information that "the red pill" can teach. I'd say some of the entry-level information is worthwhile. The conclusions that are drawn on top are pretty damning, though (in my mind). Personally, I think any men driven to the opposite sex would drop out of RP quite quickly because the prize simply isn't what they're after.
/r/ExRedPill27/08/21 07:52 AM
1

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypergamy Looks like you're right. Note that (at least on wikipedia) the definition is defined as the act of marrying up itself, not the intention. "The term hypergyny is used to describe the overall practice of women marrying up, since the men would be marrying down." I did not know that.
/r/ExRedPill27/08/21 07:34 AM
4

Sorry to hear that, hope you're doing better. I think you'd have to be dark triad to consider yourself worthy of cult-leadership. It's the charm, beware of the charm.
/r/ExRedPill26/08/21 09:40 PM
5

That rings more true than what most people will realise, I fear.
/r/ExRedPill26/08/21 04:08 PM
2

It's the one where he goes "how I slept with 4 women in one night", isn't it. Legend.
/r/ExRedPill26/08/21 03:13 PM
2

Lol, Myron. Enough said. I wouldn't be too upset. Muppets always sabotage themselves a little better than anyone else could do it. or be "Be masculine and high value" It's not even a bad idea. But then come the childish indicators, i.e. six-digit income (US) and either high or high-quality notch count. 1000 women a year They should include arithmetic in their high-value definition. I doubt they went through the numbers here, but I am probably just being insecure.
/r/ExRedPill26/08/21 02:27 PM
2

Yeah absolutely. I've basically joined reddit for this subreddit when the whole F&F thing was going down. I got a bit annoyed when it's clowns like that supposedly controlling the conversation on masculinity and whatnot. Apparently, so I hear, lots of the views are paid-for-views. I hope that's correct.
/r/ExRedPill26/08/21 11:31 AM
3

Yeah. They're quite similar to get rich quick schemes, I find. Identify a group that has a strong need, tell you will help them fulfill that need by teaching them. Charge them, blame any failures on them for not using the material correctly. The scam is virtually the same. It's just that RP/pickup involves actual people. So they try very hard to make sure you consider them NPCs where you can. I swear when I originally came past RP it didn't really register as a super bad thing, but it's gotten v…
/r/ExRedPill26/08/21 09:32 AM
3

It's like OP said, the entry is common sense, and then it gets a little weird, and then it just goes off the rails. Overall, this is a good lesson to learn for life, I think. It's surprisingly easy to be manipulated into seemingly correct movements. It pays to question what one is doing, and not just why, but also what consequences it has.
/r/ExRedPill26/08/21 08:08 AM
2

I'd say this is true for men, too. I've certainly been surprised in the past. There's no saving a pretty face with nothing to it.
/r/ExRedPill25/08/21 09:18 PM
0

As a retort: lots of women have trouble getting to the point. :) It's not just men being bad listeners, it's also what's being talked about. How long would you like to talk about cars? You know, engines horse-power, custom parts? Football, say? On average men care more about things than people, and more about getting to the gist of a story than how everyone felt about it along the way. It's not rude, it's not better or worse, it's about efficiency.
/r/ExRedPill25/08/21 09:13 PM
2

I hate to be the other guy. :) Please keep in mind that movements can advocate all kinds of things, yet either intend or unconsciously lead to all kinds of other consequences. One of the reasons people are manipulated into all of these groups is because they put too much emphasis on words. Talk is pretty cheap.
/r/ExRedPill25/08/21 09:05 PM
1

Some people are good, others aren't. Everyone else is a bit of both. When I feel bad I think of traffic. So many people driving, yet somehow still no one really goes off the rails. Think of how many people live in your village or town and how little actually happens, comparatively.
/r/ExRedPill25/08/21 08:54 PM
2

On point.
/r/ExRedPill25/08/21 08:48 PM
4

Best of luck in your recovery. It's so cringe, sometimes I see people and I realise that's what they're doing, but there's not really anything I can say to get them out if it. They're just sort of there, too, in their little alpha bubble.
/r/ExRedPill25/08/21 08:36 PM
12

Make us dumber than we really are?
/r/ExRedPill25/08/21 08:30 PM
1

Yeah, that sucks, man. MGTOW, applied right, would have prevented a lot of incel attacks. Honestly, to tell someone, "hey spend a few years alone" is pretty good advice. I've seen quite a few people that by RP standards have it all have to address their own issues. You know, own their own. Not the worst thing that can happen to you. But, personally, I'd only ever treat it as a phase. I'll deal if I end up alone, but I am not going out of my way to make it so.
/r/ExRedPill25/08/21 08:28 PM
1

I mean all of the career paths you mentioned belong to similar status groups. Might as well add pilot to the mix. ;) Compare that to lower status jobs, and it's probably going to be a different deal. I remember a show with 20 women and they all liked him right until he said he works in sewage. Didn't get a date. Money didn't even come up. So I'd say it matters, just not within the same status group. Personally, I think for a normal woman a career is mostly a downward limiter. From a certain poin…
/r/ExRedPill25/08/21 07:40 PM
5

In a word, humility. Dependence on external admiration should be viewed as merely a step on the road to becoming an adult. You can build self-worth through self-actualising behaviour. What means in your specific case depends on you. The more self-worth you have the less you require external admiration. This is not an on/off switch, just keep it in mind as a worthy perspective to develop in to.
/r/ExRedPill25/08/21 04:42 PM
6

No worries, happens. But try not to get upset based on teenage novels, that's a recipe for disaster. ;) Best of luck.
/r/ExRedPill25/08/21 02:20 PM
12

Sorry man, was there a question? I couldn't find it. i can't get myself to read the "Twilight" saga books. That's ok, they're mostly aimed at girls. I haven't read them, I am sure I'd hate them, the writing is apparently not terribly good. edward culllen, is "simped" over by every teenage girl. and to know that I don't have that makes me hurt. a lot. He's a fictional vampire character whose weakness is scintillating skin in sunlight and that he doesn't age so he forever looks like a 16y old, I m…
/r/ExRedPill25/08/21 02:03 PM
6

If you ever want to convince people to leave the red-pill, PUA, whatever. Make them watch this video. And ask them if that's who they want to be when they grow up. The only one here that I have some respect for is the BulldogMindset guy that openly says (paraphrased) "don't focus your masculinity around girl numbers, it'll get you depressed". I don't know his other content, so he could be an idiot, but that's solid grownup advice, especially in this scene. It's funny how they keep calling themse…
/r/ExRedPill25/08/21 01:06 PM
3

Hey man, that sounds like a great program. Thanks for helping out like that. It's so sad to see so many youngsters just simply missing someone to talk to about these things and not get rubbish advice in return. Gateways vary, but usually it stems from some sort of frustration with women, specifically interacting with women/girls and realising that: * that can suck, * feelings almost certainly will get hurt when humans interact, * no coping mechanism or support structure is in place, * a lack of …
/r/ExRedPill25/08/21 10:34 AM
1

Heya, there's a response that's meant for you here: https://www.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/paa2ue/what_exactly_is_the_point/ha7v192?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 Messed up the replies. :)
/r/ExRedPill24/08/21 10:52 PM
1

Solid point, thanks. :)
/r/ExRedPill24/08/21 10:50 PM
2

There is a period of life where value mostly comes from the outside, because everything internal is developing. Adolescence for most, I'd say. It's when we find our place in the world. I.e. "Hey, she fancies me, she's hot, I now feel great because I am valued by someone I value!", or "Hey, I shoot a lot more goals than the others, and I know they're trying, so I must be better than them!". The key to realise here is that sex is by no means the only context to build worth, not even the most impor…
/r/ExRedPill24/08/21 10:43 PM
1

would've hit on me by now or shown interest Hmm, tried to follow but couldn't. These women you describe haven't and won't show interest because you're not relatively compatible with their trauma. A woman that's looking for these sort of men not coming knocking at your door at night is a blessing in disguise, even though it likely doesn't feel like it at the moment. But you're right, not many positive experiences at all. Actually, I wrote that you're doing ok in these situations simply because yo…
/r/ExRedPill24/08/21 10:24 PM
2

It's a thing. I've done it for a few years while money was tight. Look for private training centers, as well. Therapy doesn't seem helpful. One of the most common misunderstandings about therapy is that it's a passive process like a type of medication. It's not, so so long as you are as open as you can be and willing to talk about painful things, it will work, because by talking about the pain you allow your subconscious to process the experience. It's a bit like booking a personal trainer, unle…
/r/ExRedPill24/08/21 10:11 PM
1

It's more about relative compatibility not overall value. Messed up people go for messed up people. By not being a part of it you're the only winner here from my perspective. How am I supposed to feel knowing I'm lower in women's minds than that piece of filth? Generalising in this way is very typical for a depression which you should address with a professional. You might've gotten used to see the world in a way which matches your expectation and might be missing positive experiences. You are l…
/r/ExRedPill24/08/21 09:53 PM
1

I'd say you're correct, being a dick will absolutely get you laid if you're hot. Sometimes even if you're not tbh. Why? Because people are weird. So I agree, for others to associate this with a "good personality" that you should now attain isn't particularly observant or helpful, if not quite actively unhelpful. Just keep in mind that pretty faces can be deceiving. If a lady goes out with a shitty dude, then that doesn't speak for her. But what you must not do now (albeit it being easy, I know),…
/r/ExRedPill24/08/21 09:37 PM
1

I don't know if I would mock such men, I'd just leave them alone, but yeah it's not great.
/r/ExRedPill24/08/21 08:09 PM
1

Thanks for collecting all this up, had some stuff I didn't know yet. I can only recommend people follow this unfold. It's basically a master-class in how to spot a sociopath: lies, ineptitude to take responsibility or apologise, blame game, larger than life ego, entitlement, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, use of aggression as a tool to intimidate and distract, bad behaviour with subsequent taking of moral highground. And then there's the racism/wife thing - that was actually a little unexp…
/r/ExRedPill24/08/21 12:02 PM
1

What side am I on? Not any, basically. I just want to be a decent person. And most of that comes from within, not with how much money I earn or how many women I sleep with or if I am in this group or that. Misogyny is the opposite of feminism and from what I have seen, feminism and sexual liberation have been blamed. Do you consider feminism beyond reproach? Maybe you don't believe that feminism = female equality? I don't no. I realise that's how it's advertised, however. I am not a super big fa…
/r/ExRedPill23/08/21 10:01 PM
2

I hate modern consumerist liberal feminism, PUA/RP, and misogynistic pornography for promoting casual sex in any form. Yeah, it's all a bit weird. They're like codependent ideologies. However, I think the red pill idea that women who have sampled engaging in hookup are irreversibly damaged now and unable to “pair bond” is completely false and extremely dehumanizing. The only evidence I found on this topic is a mention of a New Zealand paper here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillme…
/r/ExRedPill23/08/21 08:05 PM
1

That's fine. Makes sense. It's ok to be sad about that. When it comes to wasting time. So long as you're moving towards something, and this can be anything, you're not wasting your time, even if you're not getting with the girls or whatever. As soon as you establish an internal value structure you'll realise that girls missing from your life isn't a catastrophy, may it seem like one right now. Currently you seem to be attributing the lack of validation you're receiving from women as an indicatio…
/r/ExRedPill23/08/21 04:41 PM
1

Yeah, I was referring to the number. Makes sense now. ... movement that takes issue with female equality has no merit. Maybe I am outing myself as an RP noob after all, but that's not the impression I have. I agree that there are channels that move towards the misogyny end of the spectrum which isn't great. But I've never heard anyone question female equality tbh. Do you have any example channels/videos? I am not saying that the movement has or hasn't merit, I think if it helps some men find the…
/r/ExRedPill23/08/21 04:18 PM
9

modern men are so fucking down bad it's insane Just keep in mind that you're super young to even be thinking about this stuff. Please chill. It's really not that bad. Men and women are the same they've always been, there are bad ones and there are good ones, and then there's everyone in between. The best lesson to take away from this is to pick your friends wisely and allow friends and dates to disqualify themselves (which is what happened here) and not take it to heart. Personally, I don't thin…
/r/ExRedPill23/08/21 03:52 PM
1

Top comment.
/r/ExRedPill23/08/21 03:23 PM
2

I get it man. This sucks. I can only hope the guy didn't let it faze him too much. Never be upset by assholes being self-consistent, they're really good at it. Life can be a blessing or a curse depending on who you surround yourself with. With an actual "friend" though, this wouldn't have happened. I've seen some comments that the girl owed him nothing and it's all on the guy, meh I dunno, it seems like they both are a pretty good match for each other, for my taste this is all a little too reckl…
/r/ExRedPill23/08/21 03:22 PM
1

This is turning quite off topic, so I'll keep it brief. Women are not part of a group, they are part of many groups just like men. It’s more true that women are individuals than all the same. I didn't mean to be controversial here. Both men and women at least belong to the group that's defined by their own sex. That's all I meant. It’s not that vast. It seems quite vast to me, but I may be wrong about that. To me the sheer existence of these movements and what seems to be a surprising number of …
/r/ExRedPill23/08/21 03:08 PM
1

So what you're saying is that women are individuals lol. Not quite. At least I didn't mean to. I'd say that women are both, individual and part of a group, same as men. I think that's where most people clash. On the one side people say "all women are like this", on the other "all women are individuals". Both are true, just not exclusively. I meant to say that even if someone gives you the best dating advice for the person at hand, be that individually focused or group based, if it works, all tha…
/r/ExRedPill22/08/21 11:05 PM
2

but do think it's possible that some problems could be caused by women? Do you have a specific example? No trap or anything, it's just easier to answer that way. In principle, this seems valid, albeit then the question becomes if things that are innate to women's nature really present a "problem" or are simply part of a reality that a lot of the time kind of sucks? I.e. if a type of behaviour is so innate across a group that they may be generalised over it without loss of generality, then is it …
/r/ExRedPill22/08/21 07:38 PM
4

Does it ever cross your mind to get woman's perspective when it comes to dating? I have noticed that the manosphere echo chamber is full of men with little dating history and a negative mindset. Solid point, I think. That being said, if I recall correctly most dating advice somehow turned out a bit rubbish, because you're basically asking someone else: "You being you, how would you do it?" I did do that and in my experience neither women nor men were particularly good at it. The issue is, if the…
/r/ExRedPill22/08/21 06:40 PM
1

Hey man. I am sorry to hear you're hurting. I heard people say be grateful. That's not super helpful. From personal experience, you should consider talking to a pro. I don't mean this in a bad way, but you sound like you're in a negative feedback loop. That's serious business, and most people offer shitty advice that comes down to "why is this even a problem for you?" It's great to have a person in your life that you can talk to about anything without it affecting any of your relationships. Note…
/r/ExRedPill22/08/21 05:26 PM
4

It's good to see that people like F&F get so much flak, maybe it's a little sad to see how long it took. I hear 360's point of view. It's great that they helped him achieve things in life, but he himself was the one that actually did them. I don't think F&F deserved 360 defending them, but I see why he would. The way in which he seems to have done that isn't great conduct for anyone in my eyes, let alone for someone who is aiming to not be controlled by emotions. It would be interesting to know …
/r/ExRedPill22/08/21 02:11 PM
2

Ah, interesting. I've only come across AP due to this ... what is it, a controversy maybe, a car crash? Seemed to me they talk a pretty straight game. Do you have a link/timestamp? I don't mean this sarcastically, I am actually interested.
/r/ExRedPill22/08/21 01:20 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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