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violent_squid_spork Archive

View 4 posts and 42 comments by violent_squid_spork on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

She left me with kids, so I'm 100%. I hear you on anger management and other suggested I address her fake concern about kids' school. I'm also reading 2 books on parenting teens, and met with a teen coach twice. Think that matters? I'll ask lawyer (so far he's said don't do anything different), but he also hasn't said which way he thinks the hearing will go. thank you. I recognize you from other posts and appreciate what you have to say.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/23 05:51 AM
1

I get everything you're saying. Thanks. I'm wondering if ex plays chicken and withdraws it at the last minute, but #1 always looms there.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/23 03:12 AM
1

That's the story I want to tell. HIred this lawyer because he got it when the others didn't. I have so much, I just hope the judge can see the light in my kids' eyes with the things we've been doing. The hard part was reading the TRO. It really tore me down and got in my head.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/23 03:10 AM
2

Melatonin does shit, benadryl is a terrible sleep aid. Ask for ambien to get you to sleep, or ambien ER to stay asleep (or there are a couple others, lunesta) if you wake up and can't get back to sleep. Don't get a benzodiazepine (like clonazepam) unless ambien doesn't work for you. Ambien will get you to sleep without feeling drowsy the next day, but benadryl and some of the benzodiazepines will knock you out without helping your rest and will leave you tired in the morning. Talk to your doc ri…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/23 03:06 AM
1

what medication and for how long? are you having trouble sleeping, and are you taking something for that?
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/23 01:07 AM
1

Our plan was to travel all over the US and Mexico, and i have that documented with budgets and texts, and she went with us for several months. My ex planned half that shit and I did my part. She just up and said nope one day, went back to her old job, and now months later she is saying that she never agreed with homeschool and she never thought it was okay for kids to live in RV. It's complete bs and I think I can show that. Now what I don't know if the court will say "well the kids would be bet…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 11:01 PM
1

I know. It's nowhere anything like that, but that's how their counsel wrote up the TRO. I read it and felt like I was taking my kids on hobo life, but it really isn't anything close to that. The best defense I have: ex did it with us for 3 months, and kids love it. I did get a lease on a place, lawyer said that would help, so we're out of the RV right now and will stay until the dust settles. It's a risk, cause if the TRO is granted I'm walking from the lease to follow my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 08:58 PM
1

It's more complicated than that. We all of us moved from "home state" out of state together, then she left and went back to our "home state" and I moved again with her permission, to another state where I have residency already. Then the divorce started. Kids don't have residency with me because they needed to be in state 6 months, so lawyer thought it was best to file in the "home state" because that was the last place they met the residency requirements.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 07:01 PM
1

TY. Everybody is against me now, but I treat my kids like champs. Cook every day, take them on field trips, study with them. The TRO makes it sound like this is the worst thing in the world, and I let it get in my head.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 06:02 PM
1

Thankful I haven't seen her in months. Her friend sent her a text that she put in the TRO that says "just file a report that he is scaring you and momma you will have your kids back." Everything is text and email with her now, and mostly thru lawyers. Her whole argument is that I am ruining kids life by living in our RV and that I could drive them to Mexico and disappear.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 05:08 PM
1

I'm so glad you said this. Right now eveybody everybody it seems like is saying I'm a POS for "making my kids live like homeless" and not being in school. My ex and I were going to do this together, then she got bored and left 6 months ago. I have done so many incredible things with the kids since then, they have things they are interested in and that's what they study (my TEENAGER reads all day and I have to tell her to put her book down to do other things), and we never fight anymore about get…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 05:03 PM
1

Oh no, I have a lawyer. He argued to dismiss the emergency TRO, adn the judge didn't sign it. It is still going to a hearing tho in a few weeks.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 03:41 PM
1

Lawyer says he does all the talking. Are you saying the texts that went back and forth between STBX and friend directing her to lie and take the kids won't mean anything?
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 04:50 PM
2

Jesus. She submitted a text with the TRO where her friend tells her to get the kids then she can get me to leave by saying she is scared of me. That friend makes a lot of other allegations in the text about me not treating the kids right and that STBX needs to go get them, but also in there she says when he comes to get the kids "just say you're scared of him" and he'll have to move out and any judge will give you the kids. Then friend sent in a statement that says I am angry all the time and do…
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 10:57 PM
2

She hasn't needed to physically abuse me. WHen we were dating she hit me twice, complete sucker punches when I was playing around with her. Not arguing, like one minute laughing and the next holding my face. I didn't stand up for myself. I didn't think about it again but she got the message: this man will never stand up for himself. An u are right: she and her friend and lawyers laid down the abuser evidence, but they had to pick and choose what I said to make it look that way. LIke literally cu…
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 10:31 PM
2

thanks man. I needed to hear that I'm not the abuser.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 09:54 PM
1

It worked. Her lawyer told mine that's what they were going to do and he rushed me to get in some things about temporary motions, which I did right before the TRO was filed. Right now I'm thinking htis is all so stupid and I want her to get the fuck into mediation before I go scortched earth. You saying mr sensible, that is me, and I'm also scared that she will leave me poor (I am SAHD) and with 50-50 or worse. Lawyer has said that, since I already live far away, I should stay put, but the TRO w…
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 09:50 PM
1

She was feeling down and needed a little affirmation. It happens. Just a few months after splitting you'll get the email or the text. If you respond it gives them the boost they need, so they no they still have their claws on your heart, then they disappear again. SHe gets what she needed and you fall over again.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 09:23 PM
2

This has been the worst week of my life I think, waiting for the call from the lawyer saying I have to hand my kids over to the police. That's what she asked for. I have the kids, she left us and now claims that I kidnapped them and won't let her see them. STBX submitted as evidence a bunch of texts with her friend telling STBX to get the kids back then to move away or say she was scared of me and keep me away. I do have a lawyer and he worked to get some paperwork filed that maybe helped. We wr…
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 08:46 PM
2

I couldn't believe they submitted it as evidence. She literally said over and over again to "lie to him and when he thinks everything is okay run away to some place and don't tell him. Or just say he threatened you and make him move out." That is what is in evidence. ty for your thoughts.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 07:17 PM
5

yes. this hen was a family friend I thought, and for months she has been pecking. She made everything much worse for me, STBX, and kids, but I'm sure she doesn't see it that way. ty. I value your insight.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 05:46 PM
2

ty
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 05:26 PM
2

> Be lucky you haven't seen her in 2 months so she couldn't cement the TRO with a false DV charge. I kno. SHe submitted as evidence tests where her friend told her to say exactly that, but she couldn't make DV because i was nowhere near her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 05:07 PM
3

I have lawyer. STBX told him she was going to file TRO (fortunately no DV allegations as I haven't seen her in almost 2 months now) so we rushed to get our temporary orders (?) in. He said that if we did then the court might look at those if a TRO came in. We also got a response it to the TRO since they filed on the weekend. I know if the TRO gets granted then I'm in for a really bad ride.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 04:48 PM
3

ty
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 04:35 PM
4

She submitted texts with her friend into evidence where friend basically said that's what she should try and get a DV charge on me. I never ever threatened her so it would be hard, but I was afraid of this so I nver went to go see her. She lives pretty far away too, she left us. She's making me look bad saying I'm keepig kids from her. thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 04:34 PM
3

Lawyer says he doesn't know if they will act on the TRO, and I'm not under any orders. Lawer said I just keep doing what I am doing. I have the kids, STBX is trying to use the TRO to get them from me. It just feels like nothing but an axe hanging over me that they could say tomorrow they grant the TRO, or I have to set and wait for the expedited hearing. Until then laywer says there's nothing we can do.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 04:19 PM
2

Standing by still. Judge let it sit over the weekend so we got a response in over the weekend and notice that they would try and consider it today. Just sitting her waiting not knowing what's going to happen.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 06:44 PM
1

This is what the TRO is seeking I think. Haven’t gotten to sit down with my counsel yet as this just happened, but I think the ex parte TRO is to return kids to her in the state where she now lives.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 12:18 PM
1

No, she left kids with me and is now saying I won’t let her have them move back with her.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 11:48 AM
1

It’s for custody. STBX left, moved to another state and now claims she never consented. She has a witness that said kids were in danger months ago, advised her to scheme, get kids back, then move without me knowing. Thank u.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 07:39 AM
1

Do I get to respond to the TRO? We have my declarations to the temporary order in and lawyer had me working on responses to the TRO section all day. In the TRO this former friend was suggesting that STBX get kids back then move away in secret. I couldn’t believe they would submit that as evidence.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 07:01 AM
5

Stoicism is, in this case, separating what you can control from what you can't. When you can't control something, all you can do is choose how to react to it. Harder said than done, especially when you feel like you could do something, but it helps with sadness and anxiety to first stop and ask whether you do have any control to affect the outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 06:18 PM
18

When I moved out last time the moving company sent these 2 eastern European guys, Drago and Vlad or something. I think they figured out what was going on, and I wasn't sad, just shaken. They picked up my shit, put it where I wanted in my new apartment, and when they were finished Drago said, "Now you can get on to your new life." Thanks man. I never had to see the ex's stupid fucking cat's asshole in my face ever again, or chase the dog out of her litter box.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 05:00 PM
1

Same. We were going to sell our shit and travel the world. In backpacks, we weren't that rich, but we both saw people we know die in the last few years, her dad died before he could enjoy the dream home he build and we're watching our friends get old and fall apart. I'm not good with money, but I always maxed the 401k, set up brokerage accounts, helped her get hers earning, bought a little real estate investment that paid for itself, and paid off the car and credit card loans. When I found out s…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 04:36 PM
2

My mom made a scrapbook for my first wedding, and even tho that ended bad I couldn't give it up because of the heart my mom put into it and all the pictures of friends in there. Eventually I think second wife tossed it, which is fine. But now we're headed to what's going to be an awful divorce. All the years that we were trying to work it out tho I always kept this one picture of her, of a really happy time where she was smiling and just bright, and no matter how angry I was with her I always ha…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 03:01 AM
1

TY, I'll read those. It's the second, more than 150 miles is the standard here, alternating holidays and some weeks during the summer for her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 04:56 PM
4

53, introvert, no close friends, and I'm just starting. My wife hit me twice while we were dating. Looking back now it was her testing me to see if I would stand up for myself. I didn't, and she bent and broke me slowly. It's still all myfault though that she isn't happe, that our relationship is shit. She complains abouot how her boss treats her and then does the same crazies to me. We been separated solid for 2 months and hardly seen eachother for about 4 before that and I am starting to crawl…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 04:54 PM
1

True. I don't know the BIFF/DEER reference. I did reach out to the mediator, but yur right, she's mad and wants to hurt me morethan anything else. The threat of a man writing down rules that she will have to follow and be held accountable for is going to sting for her. > This is a silver bullet for you, and you don't even realize it. If this is true I'm looking at full custody and >60-40 because we don't live near eachother anymore. It's the uncertainty of what STBX will do/say, and how the cour…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 04:37 PM
1

Thanks for the slap of reasoning. She can come see the kids anytime, but she moved far enough away that it's a plane ride and her work is really important to her. I love being a dad, it's no problem for me at all and they are starting high school. Without all the fighting with STBX they are easy, even when they were babies we just clicked. She gets the gray rock already, I read about dealing with narcissits and learned how she has been palying me, so now every time I have to talk to her I get a …
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 03:17 AM
2

TY. I'm listening to the alwyer, and this is the direction he's taking me. I just feel like I'm on the playground, not, well, not dealing with a rational being.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 01:42 AM
1

It was over a long time ago and the longer Im away the more done I am. This is about setting the tone for the divorce. The lawyer is just being a lawyer. TY.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 01:40 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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