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wedonthavetobeishtar Archive

View 18 posts and 322 comments by wedonthavetobeishtar on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
309

RED FLAG 🚨wedonthavetobeishtar/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:58 AM
307

MALE DEPRAVITYwedonthavetobeishtar/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 01:27 AM
213

LIES MEN TELLwedonthavetobeishtar/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 03:30 PM
120

TRIGGER WARNINGwedonthavetobeishtar/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 07:18 PM
114

SHOWER THOUGHTwedonthavetobeishtar/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 04:50 AM
103

QUEEN SH*Twedonthavetobeishtar/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 07:04 AM
94

FDS HUMORwedonthavetobeishtar/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:33 AM
89

LIES MEN TELLwedonthavetobeishtar/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 04:25 AM
77

#JustLVMThingswedonthavetobeishtar/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 07:11 AM
60

LIES MEN TELLwedonthavetobeishtar/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 06:56 AM
47

FDS HUMORwedonthavetobeishtar/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 03:51 AM
39

DISCUSSIONwedonthavetobeishtar/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 02:13 AM
35

GLOBAL RESISTANCEwedonthavetobeishtar/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 06:39 AM
34

FDS ANTHEM 🎶wedonthavetobeishtar/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 05:58 AM
24

How-To High Valuewedonthavetobeishtar/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 08:18 PM
13

SEEKING ADVICEwedonthavetobeishtar/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 06:36 AM
1

DISCUSSIONwedonthavetobeishtar/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:17 AM
1

QUEEN SH*Twedonthavetobeishtar/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:20 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

I really wanted to like this, but the series was not well-written. I watched the whole thing anyway, because I was rooting for it, but it just came across as boring. Given that the content isn’t, and the actors were good, I think the problem was that the script wasn’t good enough. The dialogue was often flat, making the characters seem dull.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 06:50 PM
10

This is revealing that “basic bitch” is projection at its finest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 06:42 AM
2

Same for me. I went to therapy thinking I was the problem. Saw two different therapists who both told me the problem was him. 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 03:19 AM
18

This is amazing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 10:31 PM
5

So accurate! Man I wish I had read this ten years ago!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 06:35 AM
2

He’s actually bi! Relevant link, and coincidentally one of my favorites of his: https://www.tiktok.com/@girnar21/video/6924839208846675205?sender_device=mobile&sender_web_id=6937107063881909766&is_from_webapp=v2&is_copy_url=0
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 02:37 AM
5

Thank you! ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 02:14 AM
11

What’s weird is that it does sound like he genuinely loves her and is in denial. 🤔 He just would rather have the image in his head than anything real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 12:11 AM
59

Yeah, my ex-husband got significantly nastier as soon as I started “beating” him in life (I didn’t see it that way because I’m not an asshole). Of course, in the past, when he thought that he was the one who was winning, he got pretty nasty, too, and started looking around for something better. Sooooo 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 12:09 AM
5

I’m never letting my kids use YouTube. I’m going to be that mom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 04:38 PM
16

Hahaha Great rework of that scene!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 05:26 AM
9

Dying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 03:19 AM
2

Too accurate!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 08:22 PM
5

Lols!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 08:21 PM
119

Truth. Only small guys say that shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 03:42 AM
26

I thought you meant the literal trash at first. Need more coffee. Congrats on being free!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 08:38 PM
3

Love this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 06:55 PM
6

That’s a great point!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 06:53 PM
28

Ok, for real, WHAT IS IT with men and toilet paper?? It’s like it’s a point of pride to use as little as possible, and to shame women for having different bodily needs from them. Do they not realize that when women pee, it’s not coming out a long tube?? We need to wipe the pee off! Do they not realize we have blood and blood clots pouring out of us once a month? Do they not realize we don’t just sit to poop? Wtf You never see a woman “shaming” a man for eating more than half the food they buy be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 06:52 PM
6

What girl is this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 06:39 PM
22

That’s really weird and gross. Good call on ending it there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 06:36 PM
5

Ohhh, you’re right! I’d forgotten about that. I hope that’s all it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 06:15 PM
36

I just binge-watched all his videos and had an awesome time, but with each video I became increasingly concerned about his mental health... boy jokes about suicide an awful lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 09:45 AM
2

Thanks, everyone! You’ve given me a lot to think about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 08:06 PM
31

Love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 08:21 AM
3

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/lk65gm/background_checks_work/gnk60tn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 09:47 PM
17

Usually you get their full names when you match, but this guy was sneaky. Only had his first name on the app. I was able to find it by googling his first name and his city, and found an interview he’d done in the past. His job title and his unique hobby from the interview made it clear that it was the same guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 09:43 PM
5

I did it for free by searching local government court records. No cost!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 09:41 PM
44

Google your county name + clerk records and you should be able to find the local government website where you can search by name. You can do the same for sex offender registry records. You might need to look a couple different places... I didn’t see the domestic abuse allegations on one local government website, but I did on another.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 06:41 PM
4

Ooooh, gonna do that from now on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:22 PM
45

Forty. I got tired of talking to guys younger than I was, but I’m starting to think that all the ones my age have something seriously wrong with them. In any case, I think I’m truly done with online dating now. I’d much rather meet someone in person... or skip dating altogether. I have a lot of goals and don’t want to be distracted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:18 PM
40

Yesss! It’s scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:15 PM
23

Thank you! I’m glad you’re going to, too. It was my first time doing it and I really didn’t expect to find anything. When I saw “domestic abuse,” I was horrified! Lundy Bancroft’s Why Does He Do That was my bible. I read and reread his book while trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship until I finally got the courage to leave. Highly recommend him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:15 PM
35

k
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:49 AM
9

HOW ETA: nah, dude, you’re confusing him with his father, John Piper, who is 74: https://www.desiringgod.org/our-founder Abraham is, like, 40-41 based on this 2017 article: https://www.cnbc.com/2017/08/17/22-words-started-as-this-dads-blog-now-it-makes-17-million-a-year.html
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:30 AM
2

The man-shrugging emoji is the biggest turnoff to me. Nothing looks more wimpy or passive-aggressive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 05:05 PM
2

This is a joke, right? #Respectfully
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 04:53 PM
41

That chin is unfortunate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 04:45 PM
2

It’s not being a pickme. It’s being a decent human. But some friends/partners will take advantage. My friends wouldn’t let me do it by myself. They’d jump in and help me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 04:42 PM
11

Reading “free you” makes me so happy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 04:26 PM
70

Omg, that’s so racist! I can’t believe he said that. Glad he’s your ex!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 07:42 AM
43

Omg, I thought this was satire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 01:20 AM
52

I see what you’re saying. That being said, if he can’t make his partner feel comfortable, I would submit that he’s still not good in bed. Making your partner comfortable is the baseline. Otherwise “being good in bed” becomes performative and more about ego-stroking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:53 PM
–

I was eerily quiet in bed for a bit thanks to an ex who kept telling me to be quiet during sex because he was paranoid the neighbors would hear. It wasn’t until I got better partners that I unlearned that. Frankly, these all sound like signs that these dudes are bad in bed. I know my ex was, although at the time I was too inexperienced to realize it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:31 PM
22

Scar and Ursula are queer? I totally missed that. What are the signs? I definitely think it’s interesting that Disney villains are often single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:26 PM
10

I love Sarah, but I feel like the woman who is most textbook FDS that season is Heather.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 08:13 AM
3

Got it, thanks! I usually assume those are ads, so I skipped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 05:06 AM
3

Where can I find the video?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 04:30 AM
75

My ex hinted that I do this. He would describe his “fantasy” of me selling my very nice house to move into a shitty, 450-square-foot condo he bought. He tried to paint it as “simple living.” Thankfully I ignored him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 04:12 AM
45

Oh man, this could have saved me so much time if I had realized this earlier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 04:41 AM
3

You’re absolutely right and thanks for speaking up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 04:34 AM
14

Preach! Despite the Reddit tropes, every stoner dude I’ve met has had latent anger issues. There’s a physiological reason for this! Habitual weed use hurts your ability to self-regulate and you feel irritable when you are sober because you’ve depleted your dopamine reserves. I don’t care if it’s not “technically” addictive. Every stoner I’ve met cannot quit. They try sobriety for a few months and then get right back to it. How is that not addictive?? Your boundaries are the same as mine. People …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 02:12 AM
17

Also, it’s interesting to re-read this article about him in light of everything that’s been unearthed recently: https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/annehelenpetersen/ten-long-years-of-trying-to-make-armie-hammer-happen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 07:56 PM
75

It‘a eerie how many of these things seem like they’re borrowed from the same exact playbook. It’s like abusers swap notes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 07:20 PM
1

She’s hilarious!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 07:44 AM
76

I want to like this, but I can’t. This has a whiff of slut-shaming /women-blaming. Let’s not forget that women are conditioned to emotionally caretake and that the “give the milk away for free” argument is inherently sexist. Let’s point our fingers at the entitled men who make us feel like crap, not our sisters who are feeling pain. ETA: as I said above, I’m talking about slut-shaming and women-blaming for being conditioned to emotionally caretake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 07:30 AM
56

WHERE can I get one of these??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 07:24 AM
5

Me too, sis. It’s sad how many women are replying to say the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 05:29 AM
31

“So Good They Can’t Ignore You” also influenced me in my career in a big way. “The Sociopath Next Door” helped me discard toxic friendships. Mr. Money Moustache, Frugalwoods, and The Mad Fientist’s blogs influenced me to make smart money decisions. This article about woo girls taught me a lot about why a certain personality type went over better in my office, and helped push my default to being positive in moments of uncertainty at work. “How to Win Friends and Influence People” was probably the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 11:01 PM
44

Check out “The Defining Decade.” Scared me straight in my mid-twenties. My relationship choices were questionable, but the career I built is reaping rewards now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 10:27 PM
2

I loved that movie!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 05:35 AM
3

I didn’t realize how pretty she was, on top of being a badass!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 05:48 AM
34

He sounds awesome! But I bet the professors and mentor said there was no need for further questions because of your great answer to his question. 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:35 PM
4

Thank you! Very helpful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:31 PM
89

Hilarious. Can someone walk me through this dude’s logic?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 06:47 AM
6

Well said!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 06:02 AM
8

Sam Heughan dates women his own age and is prettier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 07:44 AM
7

Haha, thank you! Will try this out once the vaccine is out and I can date again. Can you give an example of making him feel that he is a disappointment without letting him know consequences?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 05:50 PM
16

Im so impressed, haha. Teach me your ways! I’m not used to asking men I’m dating for gifts. How do you do that organically?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 03:42 PM
9

Also my experience. So gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 12:28 AM
1

I’m so sorry to hear that. He sounds like an amazing guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 09:40 PM
2

Are you close to your parents? I ask because a fear I have about adoption isn’t that I couldn’t love my kids like my own blood — I know I could — but that my kids would never fully love me the way they would a bioparent. Unfortunately, I’ve seen some friends who were adopted do this. They idealize the parent who created them and are closer to them in adulthood than the parents who raised them (who they admit were good parents). I hope this isn’t offensive. If it bothers you in any way feel free …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 04:56 PM
14

This. I work in a male-dominated field and am mentored by several older men who think as your mentors do. All of my male friends outside of work are ten times less sexist than my mentors. They’re not perfect, but are much better than the coworkers who unfortunately permeate my worldview because work takes up so much of my energy and time. Don’t let these dudes darken your perspective. To be honest, they sound like the definition of successful LVM. They’re just good at hiding it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 06:09 AM
3

Who is this guy? He looks familiar. Is he an actor or comedian?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 03:29 PM
15

Hahaha too accurate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 03:14 PM
44

Ugh, I hate this. Whenever I’m slightly friendly to a male coworker I feel like they take it waaay too seriously. Like, I’m just being friendly. I don’t want to bone you. One time, I had a brainstorming session with a coworker. He thanked me for helping him brainstorm. I said with sincerity, “Anytime.” His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. Most of the time I’m robotic at work out of fear of sending the wrong message, but I’m trying to unlearn that habit and just be normal and accept that dudes …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 05:42 AM
19

It’s really hard not to be cynical...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 06:58 AM
9

It’s also making your awesomeness about them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:59 AM
5

Truth!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 06:23 AM
28

This should be voted higher 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 03:00 AM
1

Same! My educational experience had barely any sexism. Sexists were viciously mocked and shamed. I was shocked when I entered the workforce and realized how sheltered I had been. Ugh, I’m sorry, that’s so frustrating! I hope you get out of that company quickly and find a place that appreciates you better. While sexism is everywhere, I’m sure you can find a place where it isn’t so blatant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 07:59 AM
2

It really is demoralizing. It’s given me a chip on my shoulder that I don’t like. Trying hard not to take it personally and recognize that it’s their problem, but some days are easier than others. For what it’s worth, I’m sure you have great ideas and are bringing a lot of value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 06:01 PM
2

Great to hear that the confidence follows. Haha, I’d love to! I need more cool female friends in my life! ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 05:57 PM
2

Are you me? Same height and build, also a writer, also on a dating hiatus to focus on myself after an abusive marriage. Loved reading this story! I am going to follow your lead and also swipe like I’m a model once I’m back out there. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 04:59 AM
7

Yes, me too! I like to talk and I read a lot of books, so my vocabulary isn’t basic. I work in a male-dominated industry. I repeat myself a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 03:23 PM
9

I’ve always been teased about it or had men complain. Joke’s on them, because those men look way older than I do now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 03:19 PM
13

Dolly Parton is an amazing lady with an incredibly successful career who has raised and donated millions of dollars to help the poor, especially her donation of free books sent monthly to poor children. Let’s not dismiss her as just a pickme. 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 03:12 PM
15

Thank you! Looks like the rape comments got deleted — good!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 11:54 PM
13

Can I see a np link?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 10:27 PM
4

Your mom sounds awesome. Things are just better when women run the show! So glad you and your brother got a childhood. It’s heartening to hear it can still be done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 03:41 PM
24

Ok, her replies in the comments are legit hilarious, though. I want to be her friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 06:11 AM
6

Those rings!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 05:47 AM
29

Same! Its horrifying how young it starts! I don’t want my hypothetical kids to get a smartphone till they graduate high school.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 05:43 AM
5

Hahaha, no worries. I do the same thing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 05:22 PM
4

Are you asking who the angry dude was? Just someone from work. My point was that I had to remind myself of this two hours after posting it because I deal with it so frequently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 04:05 PM
18

😂 I actually had to re-read this and remind myself of this just now. Angry, small-dicked dudes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 06:34 AM
7

So true! An ex of mine did this with HIS ex and I thought he was so evolved at the time... nope, he is incredibly hostile and angry, but hides it behind a heavy veil of passive aggression and self-imposed victimhood!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 02:51 AM
38

Painfully accurate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 05:54 AM
15

This is true of any civil rights organizations/progressive movements as well. We’re always protesting the “wrong” way because there is no right way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 04:56 AM
8

Love the picture! What’s it from?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 04:54 AM
29

Thank you. It means a lot. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 05:02 AM
104

This should be upvoted higher. The scarcity mindset for the next person makes so much sense. I never realized that until you pointed it out. Makes me feel a lot better about some LVMs I dated who strung me along for years and then married less attractive and successful women very soon afterwards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 04:26 AM
9

What is this magical site?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 12:55 AM
2

Please don’t say it’s Stephen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 02:11 PM
5

❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 07:20 AM
1

I found it by googling the first sentence. But the post has been removed and OP’s account suspended.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 08:51 PM
1

I found it by googling the first sentence. But the post has been removed and OP’s account suspended.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 08:50 PM
1

I found it by googling the first sentence. But the post has been removed and OP’s account suspended.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 08:42 PM
6

There are a lot of women who do this because they want their kids to have the same dad / their partners are good dads. Then, once they’re done having kids, they end the relationship. I’m not saying I agree with doing this, but I understand how this ends up happening — especially if you’re holding out hope that things in your relationship/marriage will get better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 09:35 PM
13

Agreed. This is also a great rule for life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 01:50 AM
9

This is horrifying!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 02:25 AM
3

The confederate flag hammock story is so horrifying!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 10:08 PM
4

I don’t mean to alarm you, but I’ve looked at some profiles when signed out and have seen that they looked at mine right after... it could be a coincidence, but I don’t trust LinkedIn or any social media service when it comes to privacy. Now I just don’t look at any profile unless I’m okay with them knowing I looked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 04:38 PM
5

Yeah, I remember trying to block a harassing ex years ago and being horrified that I couldn’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 04:35 PM
1

As much as I hate saying this, having a LinkedIn profile does make you more appealing to hiring managers and recruiters if you’re in the corporate world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 11:55 AM
151

“What else is she lying about?” I’m getting controlling/anger vibes. Most normal guys wouldn’t leap to that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 03:04 PM
14

Love it! How are you turning their sexism against them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 02:45 PM
6

They need to stop lurking on my LinkedIn, too. I have Premium, bitch. I see you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 02:23 AM
22

On top of everything else, the fact that this guy is hitting on his best friend’s ex is skeezy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 02:58 PM
18

Honestly, I’ve seen people talk about that device before, and while it’s a cool idea, it’s really fucking dangerous. Imagine how angry a guy violent enough to rape you would get and how he might attack you to punish you. I expect if women used those things they would be found beaten bloody or killed. Plus, it doesn’t protect you from the trauma of being penetrated! There have got to be better weapons we can use that don’t require a man to get inside us first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 02:44 PM
36

Oh my god, what a crazy story. You’re well rid of him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 07:14 AM
3

That’s so inspiring! So proud of you! You sound like an amazing mom. 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 03:50 AM
5

I think that’s a little harsh. Not everyone is comfortable with confrontation, male or female. By changing the subject he achieved the same end goal, getting them to stop saying those things. I’ve heard the argument many times that by ignoring the behavior you don’t like, and diverting the topic to something else or disengaging, you reinforce your boundaries better than by confrontation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 04:41 PM
158

If you want to be childfree, be childfree — but don’t make that choice out of fear of loser men’s criticisms of your body. We all eventually age and sag and change. There are men out there who won’t judge you for your body doing what it’s designed to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 01:29 AM
1

Completely agree with you! Financial independence is freedom. I will never be financially dependent on a man. Hold out for a guy who respects and admires your ambition, and who actively tries to help you toward your goals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 04:07 PM
1

Wow, I love this guy! Great speaker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 12:36 AM
5

Interesting point. I’m going to keep this in mind the next time I see guys gawking at a beautiful girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 05:34 AM
2

Awesome. 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 07:02 AM
7

Wow, you were underweight! I’m stunned that you gaining a mere seven pounds to put you in the “normal” BMI category prompted him to complain! That’s so creepy! When I was young I had a less attractive, older boyfriend nitpicking my beauty, too. It’s all from the same insecurity-fueled script...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 04:56 AM
6

Wow, that’s really sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 02:21 AM
3

This is so true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 01:08 AM
2

Aw, I sympathize with her. I’ve been in similar positions due to being naive about dating and only having been in long-term monogamous relationships... it’s tough to learn how much of a meat market the adult dating world is... TV glamorizes it, but it’s actually awful. And being a smart person, she’s trying to analyze it and figure it out, but there’s not much to analyze... some people just aren’t genuine. Thanks for sharing the links!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 11:02 PM
2

I can’t find the post. Can you share the np link? Or PM me if you prefer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 10:40 PM
1

Not sure I can find it now. It was one of the top posts of the day on the Tinder subreddit at the time. To be honest, once I read the thread in context it was pretty obvious that he was just joking. All of his answers were flippant like that. So if you can’t find it, you’re not missing much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 09:58 PM
1

Haha, oh, Rune. Most underrated character!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 06:14 PM
10

You’re right. Just for context for anyone who hasn’t watched the show, the character would have done just that in any other situation. She’s strong-willed and doesn’t put up with mistreatment. She’s double-dating as a favor to her best girlfriend, who suggested it because she’s into the tall guy. Tall guy is saddled with his leprechaun cousin for the week. Leprechaun later leaves in the middle of the date and tries to get tall guy to leave with him. Tall guy tells him off for being rude and says…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 02:48 PM
5

My ex was like this. It was so draining. I can’t believe how long I twisted myself into pretzels to make him happy. Thanks for the reminder to be be grateful for my freedom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:23 PM
10

I’ve been led astray by the pants tent before. 😢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:56 AM
18

I’ve heard guys talk like that, but unfortunately in their cases it was performative and a covert humble-brag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:54 AM
9

Np link to the post? ETA: never mind; found it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 04:28 AM
5

The men I’m talking about that I have known to be HVM made the decision to be stepfathers in their twenties. I don’t see it as an age thing. It’s wise for you to not want to date a single dad. But it’s not the same for a man to make the same decision, just as this sub teaches that 50/50 split between men and women isn’t truly fair. A lot of single dads tend to turn their second wives into nannies or parental replacements while shirking their own parental responsibilities. Because of this, it’s s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 03:20 AM
2

That’s a bit old-fashioned. There are HVM who are happy to be stepparents. I don’t have children, but I wouldn’t want to end up with a guy who would have rejected me if I were a single mom. Gross. A HVM isn’t going to be scared off by a single mom. If he is, then he’s not a HVM by my standards. She also gets the benefit of, oh, I dunno, a child? To her this is not a negative. She said that she felt connected to the fetus already. To avoid any misunderstanding — if she wanted to get an abortion, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 02:24 AM
11

Ah yes, the arrogant tech bro.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 02:08 AM
14

You must look like a model! 150 is slim for 5’10”. They’re self-selecting because they’re intimidated. They’re doing you a favor. Imagine how they’d lord it over you if you WERE tiny if their egos are that fragile. They’re just assuming you’re out of their league. And they’re right!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 02:02 AM
4

“yet they have the audacity to complain about their shitty lives” So well put!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 04:01 PM
10

That sub you posted on is a legit cesspool. I swear it’s full of pimply teenage boys who can’t get laid. Their “logic” and arguments always sound pre-adolescent. I try to avoid that sub at all times in case stupidity is contagious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 09:04 AM
101

Wow, what a badass: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_Mary_Wortley_Montagu Adding her writing to my reading list. Also, according to Wikipedia, Alexander Pope had a hunchback and was four foot six... and apparently attacked her in his writing after they had a falling-out for a decade. She sounds like an awesome feminist writer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 01:55 AM
11

That’s awesome to hear. You sound like a great mom!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 05:19 PM
19

That’s wise. How do you navigate that? Does he just host sleepovers, but isn’t allowed to sleep over at his friends’ houses? Did he ever complain to you about the rule?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 05:06 PM
4

What you’re saying is logical, but the example you’re setting for hypothetical children is a bigger concern for me. I would rather my husband not put in overtime and we do the dishes together as a family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 02:00 AM
18

The only time I’ve had a colleague do that was when they were trying to suck up to me to get something from me. For what it’s worth, I have heard men say this to other men, usually as a way to manipulate them. Not to say that in your case it wasn’t sexism — I’m sure it was if that’s what your gut tells you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 11:47 PM
9

Can we please not shit on the few strong female role models we have? I’m tired of seeing Sandberg slammed every time she comes up on this sub. It’s internalized misogyny. Sandberg gives practical advice for navigating and succeeding in a patriarchal society and a male-dominated industry. If you have a problem with Facebook, put the heat on its creator where it belongs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:24 PM
53

Even if the man makes money for the family, he should be pitching in with chores. Otherwise, what kind of message would they be sending to the kids? We’re all human and we all should be doing basic things to pick up after ourselves. No amount of money can turn a wife into a servant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 04:47 PM
6

Ah, ok, now I feel like a dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 08:35 PM
8

“The world on your feet”? Ouch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 08:13 PM
3

Co-sign!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 12:18 AM
4

Agreed. Why was this removed??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 12:17 AM
41

This is genius. I would also add: don’t move in with anyone, either. Even setting aside common law marriages in some states, pooling your resources will lead to stress and financial losses in the event of a breakup that can take years to recover from. Not worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 07:06 PM
8

Haha. No. It’s not about the money. It’s not about logic. It’s about having such an insecure sense of self that seeing someone rest when you are working is a personal affront.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 01:24 PM
17

Mine, too. So grateful to be free.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 06:45 AM
10

My favorite standup routine...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 01:36 AM
3

The delivery of the last line had me dying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 06:32 AM
1

They will if they have notifications enabled when their phones are locked. They’ll see it on their phone screens, will try clicking on it, and will see that you’ve blocked. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 06:23 AM
2

Agreed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 06:42 AM
77

Love your solution for the credit-stealing. So classy, but gets your point across. I’m going to have to try this in the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 03:46 AM
28

What is Simon Cowell saying? I can’t hear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 03:44 AM
22

Oh my god, please vote. We’re truly at risk of losing our voting rights entirely. A democratically-elected rapist is better than a dictator.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 03:42 AM
14

Not to be flippant, but America hates them, too. 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 03:39 AM
21

We need one, but we won’t get one. This country hates women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 01:07 AM
38

I could never make her choices, but I still love her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 01:06 AM
7

This is the first time I’ve heard the phrase “grow a pair of tits” and I am here for it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 12:56 AM
8

Ding ding ding
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 12:54 AM
3

Good call.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 08:41 PM
29

I think you’re right. That’s why he glares at her when she’s breastfeeding. So shitty for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 03:34 PM
7

I think we’re pretty sure he did
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 02:51 AM
3

I like women who are assertive. I have seen women not respond well to assertiveness from other women in the workplace due to internalized sexism. Some women’s sexism can be sharper than benignly sexist men’s because it can be rooted in deeper insecurities. Yes, not all women. But more than I would like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 01:37 AM
5

As a white woman, I agree! Not sure why someone got triggered by your comment, because those biases are just a fact. I see women being sexist against other women and white women / white men being racist in the workplace all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 01:34 AM
1

Thank you! Sent you a message
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 08:59 PM
1

Hey sorry to ask again, but could I get the np link? Dying to see this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:07 PM
10

Omg. I just googled this movie and the girl looks so young. These men are disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 03:56 PM
16

Love this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 07:24 PM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/dontyouknowwhoiam/comments/6f16qj/how_to_correctly_use_a_no_participation_link/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 07:16 PM
2

I feel like even a guy asking this is a red flag. Seems like he’s gearing up to tell you his pet peeves. Or, more kindly, he’s just a negative person. Neither are great options.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 03:22 PM
8

I believe you’re allowed to share the np link. Also dying to see!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 03:11 PM
5

No shame in endorsing Sandberg...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 03:28 AM
43

Oh, that quote gave me an epiphany. I have bad memories of all my past relationships and it’s comforting to realize that’s why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 03:56 PM
3

Sounds like my favorite coworker...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 01:19 AM
1

That would annoy the shit out of me. But I’m also older, so I find cell phones to be more of a nuisance than someone born ten years earlier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 06:49 PM
3

Ask Polly is amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 06:46 PM
1

Oh THAT’S where I’ve seen him before
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 07:10 AM
8

Love the butt grab at the end ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 05:37 AM
1

Lot of wisdom here... as a single divorced woman whose friends are mostly partnered-up, this rings true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 03:31 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 04:21 AM
1

Thank you. What’s the username? I want to block him, but it’s gone now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 03:24 AM
4

I’m sorry, this sounds like a scam. It only has 8 reviews and if you read them people in different states get matched with the same non-existent person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 04:58 PM
9

I would swipe right, ngl
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 06:57 AM
17

Queen energy right here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 07:41 PM
2

She’s so pretty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 10:18 PM
11

Ugggh. He lived with a woman his age for years and years and never married her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 10:17 PM
2

If you both agree to it, sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:49 PM
20

Probably because they’re blowing their money on Scientology instead. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 05:36 AM
18

Yeah, I’m not sure why, either. I could say that the fact that she’s a woman doesn’t hurt, but I don’t think that’s the only factor, because I’ve seen the media gloss over other examples where the genders are reversed as well. It’s like they turn on their blinders as long as the younger party is over 20.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:35 AM
47

And she talks about “healing” him, too. Seems like she took advantage of his vulnerability when he was introduced to his friend’s mom, to be honest. Anyone who has a younger sibling or child can’t help but see their sibling/child’s friends as children, too, even when they’ve reached adulthood — unless there’s something wrong with them. If I had a twenty-three-year old son, I could never date a person that age, and even a few years older would be pushing the “ick” factor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:32 AM
114

They were broken up... They’re together now... I don’t see the problem. I do think it’s gross that the guy is her son’s age and she met him because her son introduced them, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:08 AM
2

Thank you. :) It’s always heartening to hear stories like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 07:32 PM
1

I’m glad it’s helpful. I deal with those shame spirals, too. It’s great that you’re training your brain to get out of that. For what it’s worth, I don’t think it hurts to bring up your concerns with your professor; but if it doesn’t impact your GPA too much, and you’d rather not bother, that’s fine, too. When I look at successful leaders, they’re rarely “nice” and often ruffle feathers. Often they’re resented in the moment for making unpopular decisions. Then, later on, if things go well, people…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 04:07 PM
19

It’s great that you’re recognizing the biases for what they are, rather than allowing others’ ignorance to affect your self-worth. Unfortunately, you will deal with this in the workplace, too. But you will find good mentors who see through the BS and who will advocate for you. Keep being “annoying;” it’s what will help you get ahead. Every time I thought I was being annoying, I realized that the only people who were bothered by it were less competent than I was or weren’t seeing the big picture.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 07:57 AM
30

Take a breath. You have time to figure this out. There is more than one “right” path. Once you become a mom, your career may have some more bumps and stall for a bit. You’ll be competing with men who have stay-at-home wives who take care of the child rearing and home caretaking. Which is why it’s great that you’re focusing on your career now, because you’ll have more professional clout when you need to take maternity leave or leave at 4 pm to pick up your kid from day care. It sounds like you’re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 05:40 AM
4

Seconded!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 06:34 PM
25

That’s awful. I saw a nsfw story on reddit that described a sexual encounter between a man and a woman that obviously became nonconsensual midway through. (Except to the misogynist who wrote it, of course.) What was heartening was that all of the top comments were guys calling the writer out for being a misogynist, liar, and a rapist. A few commenters even pointed out that he was obviously threatened by the woman’s professional and financial success.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:01 AM
16

Love a badass English teacher!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 04:27 AM
1

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 01:49 AM
1

Oh, interesting! I never thought that not noticing could help, but it makes total sense that it would. I’ll follow all that advice. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 09:31 PM
26

This was my ex and so are all the comments. Didn’t realize he got around so much!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:11 PM
91

This reads like a line from Seinfeld. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:09 PM
2

This is great advice, thanks. I’ve never been approached in public; I see guys looking at me a lot, but they always look away and pretend not to be when I notice. I’m guessing I’m not sending out an approachable vibe. Any tips on how to improve approachability?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 06:35 AM
8

I love this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 05:51 AM
3

Such grandiloquence! Such pomposity! 🙄 I agree with other commenters: this is all ego. Not about true remorse at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 05:48 AM
24

Thank goodness for the third comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 05:42 AM
50

I’ve been manic pixied so many times, haha. I’m a comforting friend, but a neurotic date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 05:40 AM
154

The comments are sick. What a shocker: the kind comments are from women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 05:34 AM
2

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 06:29 AM
2

Oh, interesting! Why do you ask? Is it to make sure you’re both on the same page re:dating multiple people in the beginning?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 06:37 PM
3

That makes sense. Now that I think about it, the guys in question also complained about online dating and the apps encouraging short attention spans (which is fair, but also weird to complain about on a first date). So I guess they’ve been ghosted before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 06:34 PM
4

Got it. Thank you all. That’s gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 04:30 PM
4

Thank you! These guys were both over 35, so you’re right on the mark.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 04:30 PM
3

So glad you liked it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 04:14 PM
4

I would love to be a fly on the wall for that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 04:14 PM
2

It’s a Jewish dating app/website.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 04:11 PM
10

Did he say “I love JDate” at the end? 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 06:20 AM
21

Love Mae West!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 05:59 AM
13

Yess! Love the postcard! When googling the quote to fact-check myself, I saw that I could get wine glasses or coffee mugs, too! I would love to casually sip that in a zoom meeting with zero repercussions!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 05:58 AM
35

Oh, and Dorothy Parker has great cynical quotes. A lot of them might be in the “self-aware pickmeisha” category, but I think that’s still legitly upholding FDS principles, because it’s not romanticizing it, but pointing out how bad it can be for you. “Men: They hail you as their morning star Because you are the way you are. If you return the sentiment, They'll try to make you different… They'd alter all that they admired. They make me sick, they make me tired.” “By the time you swear you're his,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 05:54 AM
39

“Mens doesn’t control me.” -Juliana from 90 Day Fiancé
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 05:39 AM
10

Jesus Christ. What an asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 02:55 PM
1

Where do you meet men? Looking for post-pandemic tips.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 05:11 AM
8

I knew plenty of straight men and women in my twenties that did that for parties, Halloween, etc. I guess we just run in different circles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 07:13 AM
8

At least you learned after the first one! Took me a lot longer to figure out. And that’s a great point. I didn’t think about that, but you’re right: I would never waste a guy’s time like that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 06:34 AM
26

Gotcha! The argument for serial monogamists being more dangerous was that they waste years and years of your life dangling the carrot of marriage, whereas a party boy is usually going to only take up weeks or a few months of your time at most.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 06:22 AM
32

Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean actually dangerous. I meant in the sense that they waste women’s time during their “prime dating years.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 06:16 AM
17

Was he an enthusiastic participant in sex with you? I feel like that’s a far bigger indicator. Keep in mind that sexuality is a spectrum. Even if he had sexual experiences with men in the past, that doesn’t mean that he wasn’t attracted to you. If you felt a sexual connection with him, then I wouldn’t assume your relationship was a lie or false. The vagina comment could be misogyny rather than repressed homosexuality. Dressing in drag on Halloween, attending pride, tasting your own come, sound l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 06:12 AM
44

He’ll usually tell you. Was he with his exes for 3+ years without getting close to marriage because “we had too many problems”? Does he think that he “can’t even consider a proposal” without living with you first for a “trial period”? Does he worry about pre-nups? Does he have a long list of career milestones he’s focused on achieving and that’s consuming his energy? (A lot of men won’t even consider marriage until they’ve hit a certain level of success and contentment in their careers.) Are his…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 05:56 AM
43

Wtf is this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 05:49 AM
11

I don’t know about that. I’m fat and I’ve had plenty of guys be proud to be dating me (not bragging; I’ve got fewer prospects than any thin woman, but I’m still a woman, so like every other woman I’m not hurting for male attention). I just meant they’re less likely to be vocal on a subreddit about it when a bunch of guys have already posted “don’t be fat lol.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 05:10 AM
13

Plenty of guys are attracted to, or actively prefer, fat women. They’re just not as vocal about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 05:04 AM
15

Is it really something to be proud of to be 27 years old with no kids and a full-time job? He is setting the bar LOW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 06:09 PM
9

Love this! Thanks for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 06:03 PM
24

My only regret is that I can only upvote this once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 07:17 AM
3

Co-sign.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 03:45 AM
6

Omg, yes! I saw this movie on TV as a kid and adored it and never knew what it was called! I’m going to have to rent this with some comfort food later this week! Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 05:19 AM
23

Omg, my narcissistic ex had this and (TMI warning) his eyes would bug out really wide during sex and freak me out. He thought he was being sexy. 🙄 Now that I’ve learned this, I’ll definitely be on the lookout for it from now on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 03:11 AM
77

By the way, that movie about the wedding trip they both starred in that got terrible reviews was actually really awesome. I strongly recommend it, especially for those of you who, like me, have had to attend a string of weddings in your late twenties/early thirties.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 10:18 PM
85

Lily Tomlin is a boss. Also, see how well she’s aged? That’s a lifetime of not dealing with men!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 10:14 PM
3

I’m glad you’re not listening to that comment. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 08:21 AM
7

Aaand saved. This should be added to the handbook!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 07:55 AM
2

Ick, they deserve each other. I’m so glad you got away!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 05:03 PM
2

“and one time his sister came to visit and that night I heard sex noises coming from the bedroom.“ ... That is SO GROSS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 06:44 AM
2

She is. I love that song!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 06:06 AM
6

Thank you. I really admire that your first thought is how to protect others. I’m not sure what the solution is. One thing I think my parents did not teach me was that there are awful people out there. They always saw the best in everyone, and so did I. I’m more cynical now. If I ever have a daughter, I plan on teaching her to assume the worst with her romantic partners until they prove themselves. To have fun, but keep her distance at first. But I’m not sure that she’ll listen to me. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 02:52 AM
6

I’m so sorry to hear that you went through that. It’s not your fault in any way. ❤️ I’m glad you’re no longer with that person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 02:32 AM
2

Yay! Me, too; listened to Tidal nonstop in high school, forgot about her for a while, and now I have all her albums on repeat. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 02:20 AM
21

Well said!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 02:12 AM
6

I’ve been here a bit longer and I agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 02:11 AM
28

This response still sounds like victim-blaming to me. I’m glad that you have healthy, strong boundaries and a healthy communication pattern with your husband where you don’t fear physical or emotional retribution for speaking your mind, but as someone who has absolutely been in an emotionally abusive relationship chock full of sexual coercion I can tell you that it’s not that simple. Oh, and I had healthy boundaries and an idyllic childhood with parents who adored me and showed me what a healthy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 02:09 AM
9

Agreed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 10:59 PM
4

I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 07:36 PM
2

I don’t think you’re understanding what I’m saying, so I’m not sure where to go from here. I’m sure if we were talking face-to-face we would reach a consensus more quickly. I truly think we agree fundamentally, so I am sorry that we’re getting our wires crossed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 07:20 PM
39

I universally get hit on by men 2-7 years younger than I am. I’m obese and in my mid-thirties. 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 06:44 PM
2

Absolutely. Have you read this article about her creative process? It’s fascinating. She’s gradually been freeing herself from the industry and now owns her albums end-to-end. No producers or overly-controlling music companies to answer to. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2020/03/23/fiona-apples-art-of-radical-sensitivity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 04:05 PM
0

👋
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 07:44 AM
3

Yes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 03:23 AM
13

Lol yeah, with a title like Coño my hopes weren’t too high. Off-topic, but listening to Fiona Apple’s Fetch the Bolt Cutters has been incredibly empowering. Especially “Relay” and “For Her” and “Ladies.” Just the whole album, really. Here’s a sample from Ladies: “Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies Take it easy, when he leaves me, please be my guest To whatever I might've left In his kitchen cupboards, in the back of his bathroom cabinets And oh yes, oh yes, oh yes There's a dress in the closet, don'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 03:11 AM
12

Love it. Anyone know what song this is? ETA: nvm, found it: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uE7b5Q7wtSw
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 02:40 AM
21

What’s with all the Anna Bey posts on here lately? They appeared all at once. Is someone trying to advertise for her on her behalf? She doesn’t seem that great to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 11:13 PM
1

I’ve done it several times, but I don’t recommend it. In my case, I had the guys begging for exclusivity when I pointed out I’d be fucking other guys if I wasn’t their girlfriend. They naively thought we could “see how things went” and I wouldn’t date other people! But there’s a downside to this. If the guy isn’t into you for YOU, and isn’t committing to you for YOU, then he won’t sustain interest and treat you well long-term. He’s just competing with other guys and temporarily treating you righ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 05:23 AM
-1

Well said. I agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 03:11 AM
2

Ugh, so true that it hurts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 08:14 AM
1

So true. My base level was too stressful. They like the benefits of being with someone a level up, but can’t keep up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 06:33 AM
19

Wow, what a mensch. Inspiring story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 07:13 AM
2

Truth! I am laid-back and creative, so I drew stoners to me for years. I always gave them a chance and was always disappointed. It’s impossible to have a stable, mature, consistent relationship with someone who smokes weed regularly. I would literally have them forget important conversations we had about our relationship or promises they’d made me. And despite the “lovable stoner” trope, I’ve met a LOT of stoners with anger issues. Turns out weed use can absolutely drain your natural serotonin l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 04:44 PM
23

Yeah, I dated a Classic Schmosby and won’t again. In the end, he was self-centered and couldn’t admit it to himself, which messed with my head because he seemed like “such a nice guy” most of the time. Marshall or bust. (Yes, I still love the show.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 02:02 AM
4

Underrated comment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 11:00 PM
13

Haha, maybe so... most of my blame is directed at him, because you know he did something bad to break her trust
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 05:15 PM
52

He’s also way below her league... I can tell that without even seeing his face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 03:41 PM
2

I LOVED the show. It was hilarious and deeply moving. I like your interpretation of it, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 07:28 AM
4

MAN I wish I had been as smart as you when I was your age. Well done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 06:39 AM
13

That sounds awful. So glad you got out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 04:53 AM
15

I noticed that, too... the pickme was so vicious!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 04:31 AM
4

Seriously, how did it get so shiny?! I want her to teach me her ways
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 10:52 PM
3

That’s a dude? I thought it was a woman at first with those hips. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 10:50 PM
8

I dunno, I’m pretty moody and shy and have been perpetually in relationships. I’ve had to make a conscious decision to stay single so I stop falling into these LVM relationships that I don’t really want. I think the right guy will respect your moodiness. My mom is moody and my dad has always worked with it and tried to cheer her up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 10:41 PM
2

Not just my looks, my accomplishments and intelligence, too. However, they always see it as an ornament or an extension of their own worth, so what does it matter? They’re still shallow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 10:34 PM
12

More people should be saying this. The fact that he’s bi isn’t necessarily a dealbreaker, but the fact that he hid it from you absolutely is. Reminds me of a person from Love Is Blind. I recommend watching it if you haven’t. People will try to frame your hesitance as you being homophobic, but historically women have been endangered by closeted men and it’s natural to be cautious. And again, him LYING about his sexuality is a huge red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 10:29 PM
2

Are you me? Haha. Same thing happened to me. So glad I found this post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 03:39 AM
6

You’re lucky he bolted. I’ve had men stay in the relationship but make me dread talking about any success. They would tell me I didn’t deserve it / they should have gotten it / minimize and act threatened by my accomplishments / pick fights when I had to spend more time at work because I was “neglecting” them. Eventually, I wised up and realized the problem was them. I’ll never tolerate that again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 03:31 AM
2

That sucks. What a turdblossom. You’re well rid of him... Unrelated, I love your username.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 08:27 PM
1

Thank you for putting this so well. It’s encouraging get walked through what’s really going on, instead of falling into the trap of thinking it’s all your fault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 08:24 PM
2

Oh my god, thank you for articulating what I found so frustrating with my ex. I had to take initiative for every tough conversation. He made the first move, but starting a healthy dialogue was all on me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 08:02 PM
7

Lol me too, I thought I was unlucky. Turns out I was the lucky one
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 07:43 PM
2

Gotcha, thanks for explaining! It’s great to get other perspectives on this. You’re right, a sex and caregivers’ strike would be extremely effective. I’ll read up on the women’s strike in Iceland more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 07:29 PM
5

I’m having trouble following; can you walk me through your argument? Like this part: “[S]he keeps equating living with men with marrying them, and only speaking against marrying them. If you marry a man and live separately, you will probably not face these problems she mentions. But if you live unmarried with a man, you absolutely will.” If she’s equating living with a man with marrying him, isn’t she implying the same thing you’re saying, which is that if you live with a man you face the same r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 05:46 PM
2

I just learned about this writer yesterday and have enjoyed all 5 articles by her I’ve read so far. She gets it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 05:28 PM
1

Yeah, great point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 04:02 PM
2

And it’s coming from men over 40... so delusional
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 04:02 PM
3

It was so condescending! The guy that said that only had his kids 50% of the time, too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 04:00 PM
11

That’s a great way to see it. It used to bother me when guys said that, but I’m going to try to adopt that mindset from now on!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 06:56 AM
27

“I know the research, too. I know that, even without children, husbands create an extra seven hours of housework per week for their wives (how?) I know that single women recover better from heart attacks than married women (a Canadian study suggested that this was because, unlike men, women tend to go straight back into their care-giver roles after bypass surgery). I know that while moderate overtime work has a protective effect on men’s health, for women with caring responsibilities (that’s pre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 06:40 AM
18

In some cases, I think it’s for bragging rights as well. Like, “I hooked up with this chick, look how hot she is.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 06:44 AM
24

I was amazed by the comments. Tons of women backing up the study and tons of men saying “that doesn’t apply to me” or “bUt ThE 3% sTuFf I dO iS hArDeR”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 06:41 AM
27

I love a happy ending! What a turd. Glad your mom got out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 06:32 AM
10

Mood.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 06:48 AM
3

I’m so sorry you went through that. I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself. Thank you for warning others. I was just considering re-entering the dating scene as the isolation was getting to me (for virtual dates, nothing else). I won’t now. Him blaming the pandemic is pathetic. Decent men don’t rape or sexually assault under any circumstances. He probably has a history of sexually aggressive behavior, if not assault/rape, that he is minimizing. Weinstein blamed his diabetes and low blood sugar.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 10:57 PM
3

Wait. How did you get a picture of my ex?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 08:10 AM
1

Run, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 01:21 AM
1

Well said.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/20 09:32 AM
3

I read your comments on this thread and agree with them all. Well argued! As a woman who likes kind men, always has, and whose female friends are the same way, thanks for being the voice of reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/20 08:53 AM
2

You could spend the speech talking about how nicely he treats her and how she has such a big, wonderful heart and it makes you happy to see her being treated so well by someone who appreciates her. Then close talking about how amazing she is. That way, you’re focusing on the good things about him and her while not saying things you don’t believe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 05:57 AM
2

Agreed, reading is like an anxiety cure-all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 05:49 AM
4

It probably should have been obvious to me, but as a serial monogamist new to “grown-up” dating I missed some of these signs. Thanks for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 04:43 AM
5

Really interesting! Thanks for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 05:38 PM
2

Who is this? She’s awesome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 03:50 AM
2

Very cool!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 06:48 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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