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welcometothejl Archive

View 9 posts and 1,468 comments by welcometothejl on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I have no problem with that, but they shouldn't expect a man to continue supporting them. Also I never said there are more bad women, so I'm not sure what that is in reference to.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 04:05 PM
-9

Bad women are common. Look at the divorce rate of lesbians for example. I know when people I work with talk about divorce their wives always sound like my first wife. She could always find problems. If it was a sunny day she'd be sad because a sunny day is one day closer to a rainy day. If it was raining she would be sad it wasn't sunny outside. Those 90% of couples who agree on custody are usually doing so under coercive conditions. That is why every state should have something called rebuttabl…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 09:44 AM
-13

Motherhood isn't worthless, bad women are worthless. Bad women cost money, get fat, don't put out, don't clean, and constantly complain. When they are unhappy they have to be the victim in every situation. Because of their "perpetual victimhood," a lawyer can easily convince them they deserve half, plus the kids, plus child support and alimony. Since the laws are written without presumption of equal custody, they'll usually get it. Women will chime in and say "But MEn doN't WaNt cUstOdY." Women …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 08:00 AM
–

No maintenance isn't necessarily no maintenance. No maintenance could be a car, money, or something else in exchange for no maintenance.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 07:16 PM
3

It's not laziness, it's financial. They're not just going to give you custody, and even if you do get custody you may still have to pay child support. The deck is stacked in many ways. So no, I wouldn't say that men are "obviously too lazy and too deadbeat to fight." They have to weigh their options carefully. Now if we were to change the whole system and say each parent has a right to equal custody, then you would see many more men step up because it would be on the moms to fight to prove they …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 10:46 PM
2

But it doesn't need to be awarded to have an impact. Where do you think this communication disconnect is coming from?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 08:33 PM
2

Yes, but simply by existing, alimony still adds value for a woman, and subtracts value from a man in a divorce. I have personal experience with this.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 08:21 PM
1

If alimony was bargained away, it doesn't get counted as alimony.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 08:11 PM
4

Alimony not being awarded doesn't take into consideration that alimony can still be used as a bargaining chip. For example, your ex could say, "I will waive alimony, but I want the house."
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 08:02 PM
6

If 100% of men asked for custody you wouldn't have 79% of custody awarded to men. Men don't win because they fight for custody, but rather fight for custody when they know they can win. Court is an expensive waste of resources which is also the same reason they settle out of court. The juice isn't worth the squeeze. The only way to have a fair court system is to have a presumption of equal custody, and have equal custody equal no child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 07:58 PM
–

I think the red pill has become an umbrella term that has a multitude of meanings depending on who you ask. To me it's finding the truth through the curtain of lies society wants us to believe are true. The big one, that women and men are equal, was shattered for me when I got divorced. I was treated like shit, despite the mutual decision to divorce, and committing no mortal sins in my marriage like alcoholism, abuse, cheating, or not being an adequate provider. That was the day I was red pilled…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 09:22 AM
6

I don't know a single man with kids, who doesn't share some responsibility at home. From what I can tell they're all willing to help out around the house and with the kids. This is especially true when their spouse works. They're also all willing to pay the majority or all of the bills. Despite what you hear on the Internet most men don't mind doing their fair share. For every couple that's going to look a little different. And every guy I know thinks they do more than their fair share right now…
/r/MensRights23/08/25 01:47 PM
2

Bro, are you AI? This response nailed it!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 12:03 PM
5

Now take the government out of the equation, mostly funded by men, and see what happens. Men still benefit women's lives, except we've outsourced those benefits to be distributed via the government and now women neither see nor appreciate men. So now men live in a world where on average they benefit women and still struggle dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 10:59 AM
1

It depends on what you mean by "better standards." Does it mean being a headache to be around with a huge list of needs, do's and don'ts, or does it mean doing your best to avoid obvious red flags in men as much as you can? To me it is the latter.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 09:06 PM
5

In my experience younger women were more open minded about things, and the older women had more rules and boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 05:16 PM
1

This was my thinking also
/r/MensRights06/11/24 02:40 PM
1

A woman with a BMI of 30 who is 38 years old isn't privileged just like I wouldn't say the average man working an average job isn't privileged. However, it is an advantage, and that is the point. On a side note, and I am not saying you're wrong, but I would like to see what the mortality rates are if you were to tease out all of the women addicted to drugs and doing other shady stuff, vs just prostitution.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 02:57 PM
-2

Maybe in his argument, but the title is still true.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 02:24 PM
-2

I agree that the average woman won't make a ton on OF, but the title said sex work. The average woman could be a stripper or sell their body and make $5,000 in a good weekend. Opportunities are available, although not always legal or moral, to supplement their income. I once dated a stripper who made about $600 on an average weekend night. On a good night she brought in over $2,000. This was >10 years ago. She also had a regular job. I dated another woman who had a naughty Twitter, and some guy …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 02:23 PM
-6

You're conflating top tier men with average men, as is often done here.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 12:59 PM
2

What they'll be curating is a bubble, or an echo chamber. This sub will just become a masked feminism sub, like MensLib. The rest of reddit reads like pure propaganda anyway. All Kamala has to do for my vote is say, I want to reform the family courts of this country, and she will get my vote. But, that's not going to happen this close to the election, so I need to vote for the next best thing, and that is who is going to put more money in my pocket.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/24 02:54 PM
2

Someone asked a serious question, and I gave my honest answer respectfully. I am a male advocate first, and left wing second. I honestly can't tell if this is a troll post or if you are being serious.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/10/24 09:11 AM
0

From the article: "Skilled workers or capital owners could get more income because of trade protection, producing greater inequality. Or unskilled workers could get more income, leading to less inequality. The impacts on the “supply side” of production are unclear." I think if you just raise tariffs a little, yes, it functions like a regressive tax, however if you raise tariffs enough to cause significant "on shoring" creating more high quality jobs, I think it could put upward pressure on wages…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/10/24 09:46 PM
-1

I know you already know this, but Trump has said he has nothing to do with project 2025. Also you keep making these giant sweeping statements. "He'll get rid of anything that makes your life easier." I do believe in government, to a point. We are past that point in my opinion. We don't need a government solution to every problem.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/10/24 01:42 PM
-3

Kamala's stance is, no new tariffs, right? So if she kept that stance, plus eliminated taxes on overtime, I would be more in favor of her policies. That's what no new tariffs means in the context of the previous post. The problem is she doesn't believe that, in fact she wants to go in the opposite direction. You're also not thinking big enough. You're highlighting the issues and none of the benefits. Tariffs increase the price of goods making them more expensive, but they could also shift manufa…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/10/24 01:36 PM
3

Hopefully he gets rid of Social Security Title IV-D the federal program that pays states based on how much child support they collect, because that's my second biggest expense.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/10/24 01:19 PM
-4

Do you know who could benefit a lot from what you just said? Kamala. No new tariffs, plus no taxes on overtime would be a win win at least for my situation. And I disagree that my tax benefits would be "wiped out and then some." I don't buy that much shit, but it would be nice to know that when I do buy something it is made here in the USA.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/10/24 12:52 PM
8

What has Kamala or the Democrats proposed? Basically things that will require more taxes to operate, and help everyone but me. If Harris wants my vote, she needs to speak directly to men. Trump said he would eliminate taxes on overtime. That's like half my yearly pay. That would unlock a lot of opportunities for me. Do I think he'll get it done? Honestly, no, but it is something to vote for. And who knows, maybe it would be used as a bargaining chip for OT to have a lower percentage taxed.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/10/24 10:49 AM
3

I would like to see a major candidate talk about family court reform. While family courts are a state issue, the states are given billions of dollars through a federal program called Social Security Title IV D which essentially bribes them into collecting as much child support as possible.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/08/24 12:25 PM
0

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 09:55 AM
5

I'm a free agent if any party wants to speak directly to me. All you have to do is say these magic words, "family court reform."
/r/MensRights20/08/24 10:42 AM
2

I think if abortion is legal, men should have more responsibility as well as more options, but I don't know if making it as cut and dry as signing a document would be the best policy. Let me explain. If men could simply sign away their rights, a guy could get 10 women pregnant at the same time and just walk away. If all 10 women have kids, that's a big burden to the system if the women don't have the means to take care of them. And so we may be thinking, "those women should just get abortions if…
/r/MensRights04/08/24 01:54 PM
7

I would say I agree and disagree at the same time. In the current context of society, yes, men should have self awareness and know what risks they're facing. However, in the broader context, gold digging is a government problem. So for example, if you date someone, and take them on lavish trips, out to expensive dinners, to buy expensive clothes, and they bail, that's fine in my opinion. If you're a hard-working person who married a foreigner and they just one day up and leave you, forcing you t…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/24 10:17 AM
7

I wonder what will happen when she can send us to war?
/r/MensRights24/07/24 01:35 PM
–

Two things, firstly the regular media talks shit about deadbeat dad's all the time, it is the online internet media that only recently started talking shit about single moms in places like this. Also the kangaroo court system favors women, causing men to abandon them and the children. If men had a framework whereby they were seen as equals to the mother with regards to the children, and it was a guaranteed right, I think more of them would stick around. Some things that would need to change woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 02:18 PM
0

Yes I support a male only draft. If women aren't consenting to parenthood through sex, I don't think men are either. However, women have responsibilities if they don't consent to parenthood. For example, they would have to have an abortion which takes a physical and mental toll. I think for men to be able to opt out, they should have to at least offer financial support. Yes Yes
/r/MensRights07/07/24 06:44 PM
1

Even if they didn't pay for childcare, there are things the government is doing to prevent parents from childcare affordability. There are limits on the amount of children that you can legally watch per adult. We're talking single digits. It's stupid for two reasons. The first and most obvious is that if you need childcare, this could make the costs prohibitive because less children per employee means businesses need to charge more. And second it makes it harder to actually start a childcare bus…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 12:35 PM
–

Government supported medical care, education, and social security could go away tomorrow and men by and large would be fine. Those are three of the biggest programs too. My life would improve drastically. Women as a whole would be in a world of shit. How do you think many of those women would survive? By more freely exchanging sex for provisions and protection.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 12:35 AM
–

Not at all. But I believe without daddy government taking care of women via social programs, women would more freely exchange sex in exchange for protection and provisioning from a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 12:00 AM
–

Think about it, most tax dollars are paid by men and spent on women. If women don't want to have sex with 80% of men, that's fair, but there is a good chance those 80% of men are supporting those women through the government, and getting no benefits in return.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 08:49 PM
1

Women shouldn't talk about entitlements when they're the group receiving more money from the government than they pay in taxes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 08:49 AM
1

All states DO essentially approach child support in the same way. There are zero states where equal time negates child support automatically. And child support has been expanded beyond people who collect public benefits since the 90's. So yes while states vary somewhat, they're all attempting to do the same thing, which is to extract as much money as possible, without driving (mostly) dad's to completely abandon their kids. And the federal government is bribing them to do it this way. I have 50/…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 04:48 PM
1

Well, in my opinion a good place to start would be to allow men to be equal parents. But states generally don't do that because they get federal tax money based on how much child support they collect. So the states have an incentive to make laws that alienate fathers, and then they can collect more child support money because dad isn't around, and by collecting more money, they get money from the federal government.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 08:58 PM
1

Women as a whole receive entitlements, like welfare, which cost more money than they pay in taxes. That doesn't even count child support and alimony.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 08:41 PM
1

Women receive more money in taxes than they pay, women are far more likely to get child support and alimony. And before someone says, less than 10% of people pay alimony, remember that alimony can be used as a bargaining chip for a larger lump sum up front and it won't be counted as alimony. We're already giving women too much in resources and compensation in my opinion. On top of that, opportunities for women have never been higher. Except, many women are miserable working, so now they want to …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 11:41 AM
7

Yes, best decision of my life! Any guy who is frustrated with dating should try it. It's fun and for me it was cheaper than vacationing in the US, with the advantage of getting laid by beautiful women. This is what I would recommend. Find a country that looks interesting and is also within your means to travel to. Download some sort of international dating app and talk to girls from said country. Or, just talk to girls from all over and pick a country you want to travel to based on where the gir…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 02:28 PM
0

Not in America.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/23 09:19 PM
0

Yes of course. When women want to kill the child, it's their body, but when men want to be an equal parent and do their fair share, it's taking money away from the moth... err, I mean the innocent child. Let's face it, women want to get paid to have kids, and I would actually support a compromise, but 18 years of child support is ridiculous. And stop hiding behind, "it's for the child." That money is to help lower entitlement spending.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/23 06:47 AM
3

I agree with everything you said. I have equal time with my kids, and I pay my ex wife who is not at any risk for food stamps full child support. My gripe here is with the standard of living for the child needs to be similar in both homes. In my opinion, it doesn't. We made that standard up, and so many people assume that's how it needs to be. That's just a cover for government wanting to transfer wealth from one person to the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/23 06:39 AM
1

I'm not talking about a man who doesn't want to look after his child. I think that men who do want to be parents should be allowed to be equal parents, and those men shouldn't pay child support. I also think women should have the right to an abortion.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/23 06:32 AM
25

I am not against abortion, but I think women's stance is hypocritical. For them it is my body my choice, but they as well as the state can easily force a man to be an every other weekend parent, and then demand he pay child support. Essentially they are forcing men into a type of slavery to provide them with resources. Equal parenting should be an option for men, and equal parenting time should count as child support. But because I don't see much support for men to be equal fathers from women, I…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/23 07:49 PM
12

These comics make me laugh so fucking hard. I'm probably cringe though.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 11:37 PM
0

Probably run off because of the way the family courts work. If 50/50 custody was the default and parents who chose 50/50 didn't have to pay child support, I bet a lot more dad's would stick around. The way it is now, 50/50 isn't the default in most places, and even if you have equal custody, you may still have to pay full support. The federal government exacerbates this because they give the states money based on how much child support they collect through Social Security Title IV-D. So courts/s…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 11:34 PM
28

That might be what is happening. Sexlessness is going up. The problem is that sexlessness causes desperation, which causes some men to settle. The sexual marketplace always finds a balance somewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 10:05 AM
2

Show me your proof
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 02:17 PM
1

You're misunderstanding. Sure 90% of women don't get alimony, but that doesn't mean that 90% aren't eligible for alimony. The reason the statistic is so low is because many if not most couples make a deal. So instead of agreeing to pay alimony, they may agree to a larger lump sum settlement, which isn't then counted as alimony. But the fact that alimony is a threat means the lump sum is larger than it would have been had alimony not been a threat.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 07:39 PM
2

Because it's not an empty threat, it's a real threat.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 03:51 PM
4

It's also a misleading statistic. Just because people don't get alimony, doesn't mean they can't leverage the threat of alimony for something different, like a lump sum payment, or the house, or something else.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 08:31 AM
6

Just because you don't get alimony doesn't mean you can't use alimony as leverage for something else. Many divorced men's ex's negotiated for a lump sum, which doesn't count as alimony. You could also look at the fact that getting divorced means you are entitled to half of whatever was accumulated during the marriage as well. And in addition to that, there is child support too. Child support isn't based on the cost of a child's needs, so depending on what a husband makes, it could provide additi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 08:29 AM
0

Sure they can put something in writing, never said there was anything wrong with that? However you have a commitment to your child regardless of how your relationship pans out, and that includes financially supporting it. But what I am saying is, equal custody, and then caring for your child when they are with you, feeding them, clothing them, housing them, IS financial support. But in my state, that's not an option. That's silly, and I think that part needs to change.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 11:41 PM
0

It's kinda obvious you are too.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 11:07 PM
1

I assure you, yes, I am bitter.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 11:06 PM
1

And be replaced with new ones ❤️
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 11:05 PM
1

In cases of 50/50 custody child support is pretty much never assigned. This is wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 11:05 PM
1

It does in my case. And family courts have a lot of tricks, for example, most don't have rebuttable presumption of joint custody laws, and even the states that do don't necessarily give you a break on your child support. In my state, the law states that if you have your kids for 90 overnights per year, which is roughly 25% of the time, you may be able to get a 10% discount on your support. Do you know what else that means, it means if you have your kids 50% of the time, like me, you are still on…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 11:04 PM
0

No, but I can directly buy them clothing, food, and provide shelter when they are with me which is not "ABSURD" to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 11:00 PM
0

No it doesn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 10:58 PM
0

and what about the cases where he cheats and he abuses her. the institutions need reform. not death. I agree with this.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 10:57 PM
0

Actually what most people do is sit down and discuss an outcome that makes the most sense for them, their life and their financial situation. Ok, so what is wrong with them talking about it, and putting it in writing? And I would assume when most people talk about how they are going to raise their kids, they do so in the context of a relationship. If the relationship ends, that is a whole different context, which requires a different conversation IMO. For many, many people the cost of childcare …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 10:57 PM
0

If one person has been out of work due to being a stay at home parent, even jumping back into work their earning potential can be vastly reduced. The problem I have with this logic, is most people assume that one parent forces the other parent to stay home, when I think it is more likely that the opposite is true. A couple can function with two working parents and a baby, however if one person doesn't work, the other person is essentially forced to have to work, and then when the marriage ends, …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 07:49 PM
0

But a woman can pay her rent, I can pay my rent, and I can buy things the child needs when they are with me half of the time. If there is equal time, I don't see why child support needs to exist. In fact, I have offered my ex to buy everything the kids need instead of paying her child support, so why does she need child support? Because she uses it to pay her student loans and for two gym memberships. So that is why I say child support is for the woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 05:25 PM
-2

Child support is not for the woman. It’s for the child who is their own person. Then allow me to pay it directly to the child, not the woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 05:11 PM
-2

My child support should be equal time. When my kids are with me, I buy them what they need. Why should I then also have to pay money to a woman who is fully capable of working to make her own money?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 05:10 PM
5

No. In fact I would buy her the softest diapers, only use heated wipes to clean her, feed her gourmet blended foods, and massage her limbs to keep the blood flowing. But what I don't think men should have to do, if their partner cheats or just decides she doesn't want to be with them anymore, is to pay her child support and alimony. Those institutions need to die.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 11:57 AM
3

No, and that is a bit of a straw man. I am saying it's not hard most of the time as was stated in the initial post. There is nothing hard about doing laundry, washing dishes, feeding kids, and changing diapers. It doesn't involve intense thought, or any kind of strenuous physical effort. You can do most of that stuff while listening to a podcast or watching TV. The hardest part is being self motivated, which I am guessing a lot of people aren't, and therefore, many of the tasks that they don't h…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/22 09:40 PM
1

I have two kids, and had no problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/22 09:10 PM
1

Another example they gave was the SAHW. If she has kids at home and is cooking, cleaning and the main one responsible for raising the children, despite not having a traditional job, that woman will be working hard most of the time. This isn't hard work.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/22 08:08 PM
0

Stop alimony. Make child support dependant on whether or not there is equal custody. Hire based on qualifications. Legalize prostitution. Why will this balance out bargaining power? Because it will mean that men can more easily acquire sex, thus bringing down their demand. It also means women will have a harder time acquiring resources, due to less hand outs.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/22 01:45 PM
1

They don't really have the power a lot of people think they have.
/r/MensRights25/11/22 07:41 AM
0

Divorce and family court. You can do everything right, and they still treat you like you're a criminal. And the narrative on the media is all about how women are victims. And people who hear you complain on Reddit will just assume that I have a blind spot and because I am a man, and that I probably got what I deserved. You can't beat the system, so you adapt. For a lot of people going red pill makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 12:26 AM
1

most divorced dads don’t even take the visitation they’re granted, much less ask for more. Most don't? Do you have a source for this? Women have an incentive to be a part of their children's lives via receiving child support. Men have a disincentive to be a part of their children's lives via paying child support. I wonder how things would change change if the laws were different.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/22 11:33 AM
1

I am not talking about getting rid of court mandated support all together though, only in cases where men and women choose to have equal time with their children. If they don't choose equal time, or if equal time isn't an option for some reason, there would still be mandated support. Also, the reason your dad may have done some of those things is because of the way the system is. The system is unfair, so from his perspective, him hiding money could have been his way of getting back at said syste…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/22 10:37 AM
2

There are many hundreds of thousands of children in worse positions because of the current system. Evidence shows that children raised by both divorced parents do just as well as children raised by married parents. Yet the current system incentivizes the opposite. The court alienates parents from their children to justify higher child support payments. Then they collect federal incentive money. Sure some children are better off, but some aren't. Also, this makes it more likely that two household…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/22 10:19 AM
0

The courts and the system aren't honest. They have predatory language hidden in complex laws that nobody reads, and the average layperson wouldn't understand even if they took the time to read. For example, family courts are subsidized by the federal government, but in order to get that money, they have to rule in a certain way. So the reason my ex and I couldn't just come to an agreement was because if we did that, they wouldn't have been able to collect money from me, which allows them to char…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/22 09:26 AM
1

She could think about that, and factor it into whether or not she wants to be a SAHM, or whether or not she wants kids. And then, if that is a problem she could ask for protections in a pre nuptial agreement. And if the courts are there to make sure the kids aren't losing out, it gives the courts power to make sure the kids aren't losing out at a man's expense, and possibly because of a woman's crummy choices. I know plenty of men who complain that their wives initially wanted to stay home while…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/22 09:03 AM
-3

The main issue as I see it is the messaging by society is that women are victims, and they then use this message to justify policies that give women certain advantages. So for me, a society that implements policy that treats men and women as equals would be a society that is honest. Both men and women could get pre nuptial agreements that actually protect them. This would allow both men and women to understand the consequences of divorce before they are married, and it would also be a window int…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/22 08:44 AM
2

I have heard that myth brought up on Reddit a number of times and each time without a shred of evidence to support it.
/r/MensRights14/11/22 07:09 PM
1

How would anything I have suggested make things worse for victims of abuse? That sounds like a problem with the existing system. I should clarify that I think abortion should remain legal up to 15 weeks, so that if a woman gets pregnant by a man she doesn't know out of wedlock, she isn't forced into a relationship with him. But I think there should be limits, like 2 per lifetime, and I also think if you're married and the life of the mother isn't threatened, both parents should have to sign off …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 03:48 PM
0

Women who get abused, often times get adviced to not bring that up in court, because it's a toin coss whether or not that's an advantage or disadvantage. According to overall statistics, you are actually more likely to lose custody if you bring up abuse. It's like 60/40 something. Offcourse it's really hard to use overall statistics to draw conclusions from divorce court. Could you provide some links to your statistics? If anyone has proof of abuse, the abuser should go to jail. Are you saying p…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 01:55 PM
4

I am from the US. And there is a flip side to what you're saying. Can women be victims of abusive relationships? Yes, absolutely. But I take issue with the way you are describing how women are victimized, and I am trying to offer solutions that I think society should implement in order to help solve the problem, not help the symptoms. But, I also believe that there are people who aren't in abusive relationships that claim to be, because it gives them a better chance to get benefits like full cus…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 01:01 PM
3

I agree with you that there are situations where men need to step up at home, but you could also say women need to step up and work. I believe women have more control over whether or not they are SAHM's than men in a relationship. A woman who wants to work, will find a way to work, and a woman who would rather stay at home will find a way to stay at home. One example of this is women tend to date up in terms of income. If women wanted to be the working parent, or a working coparent, they could t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 11:18 AM
1

I'm sorry your dad did that to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/22 08:05 AM
2

So get divorced when she decides to quit her job. Don't wait ten ywars then conpkain about it. Also it depends on the reasons for it. Like I said about rhe children. This still doesn't guarantee that you wouldn't pay, and it also shifts the responsibility from the person who controls this decision, the person who is actively quitting, to the person who doesn't control this decision, the person who is working. And again, if you could protect yourself properly with a pre nuptial agreement, the two…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 06:23 PM
2

That statistic is misleading, because it doesn't count people who use alimony as leverage to get more in divorce, just not in the form of alimony.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 05:56 PM
1

Like all legal disputes, it's based on the available evidence. Where are you gettig this idea that courts don't use any logic behind their decisions? Nobody said they don't use logic in their decisions, but that doesn't mean they don't have formulas that they go by which may not be tailored to individual cases very well, it doesn't mean it won't cost you an arm and a leg to fight, it doesn't mean they always get it right, it doesn't mean they don't have precedent in place already which may not b…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 01:03 PM
1

"A woman doesn't just get half your stuff because you were married. If you divorce, they do their best ti work out who contribited what and divide it evenly. If one partner helped the other build their career whilst sacrificing their own, it is completely fair that they get alimony." What is the difference in the courts eyes between a woman who sacrifices her own career to help her man build a career, VS a woman who stays at home because she doesn't want to work? Nothing. And the courts have gui…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 11:05 AM
0

Everything you have typed is false.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 10:36 AM
5

This is a lie and i don't understand the motivation for people repeating it constantly. This is literally my reality. "she's leaving and taking half your stuff" Then let's work towards laws that would protect both partners, because I think a large part of this post is saying, a woman can take half of your shit, so why put yourself in a position to be abused by the system? Pre nuptial agreements only protect your assets accumulated before a marriage, but not alimony. Allow for a more comprehensiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 10:07 AM
15

For me, it's not about whether or not you're actually a good person. It's the fact that once we're (hypothetically) married and have kids, if at any point you change your mind, you can screw me over big time. This is a societal issue because of the way the laws are written, and we could change it. Two things need to happen in my opinion. Allow for better pre nuptial agreements. Right now they can only protect against what I have accumulated before we get married, but things like alimony are stil…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 08:27 AM
3

I think the bigger problem here is getting taken advantage of by the system. Who cares if Becky fucks Chad? Allow me to sign a pre nup to protect my assets, not a shitty piece of paper that says, you only get to keep what you had before the marriage. Allow me to avoid paying child support by actually letting me be an equal parent. If you implemented these two things, Becky would never have bothered in the first place, saving everyone a lot of time and headache.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 08:15 AM
1

I think she is entitled to half. My dad is retired, and my siblings are all grown, so there is no need for child support or alimony. I have no problem with people splitting assets down the middle in a modern marriage either, or alimony, or child support, but I think couples should agree to the terms of their divorce before a marriage, that way you know exactly what you're signing up for. People on this sub are constantly talking about how dad's pay child support because they don't want anything …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 10:47 PM
1

I am waiting for you to make your point so that we can have a discussion. 🙂
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 04:53 PM
1

I'm not sure about the investment, but the 401k was through his employer, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 04:23 PM
1

Keep pulling the thread because I am enjoying where this is going. ❤️
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 04:20 PM
1

Through saving and investing. My mom helped with the saving with everyday things like groceries, while my dad helped with savings by doing most maintenance around the house, and he also managed the 401k and investments.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 04:12 PM
1

I'd probably have to help her out. It's possible she could find another guy. Edit: She could also get welfare, or be a nanny.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 04:04 PM
0

Yes, but basically no. She was a recess monitor for a school. I think she got a small pension for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 06:33 AM
9

My mom cooks, cleans, goes to church, was a SAHM her entire life, and has a way of making the people around her feel good. My dad worked a blue collar job and my mom helped him out by clipping coupons, while my dad managed the finances. They had roles and fulfilled them well, are still together, and now they are millionaires. My mom is awesome! What they built together took time, sacrifice, and trust. Unfortunately being able to find those qualities as well as defining the roles within a relatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/22 04:07 PM
2

I also don’t think no-fault divorce changes anything about custody or support math. Yes, but the math is skewed. From the USDA numbers on what it costs to raise a child being generous, to the fact that support isn't needs based, to child support not being means tested. There is room to adjust the numbers in a lot of cases. They could take the fact that someone cheated into consideration. The math was invented, so there isn't a reason they couldn't rewrite the equation.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 03:10 AM
2

I have joint custody and I pay full child support. I also pay for their insurance, and my ex wife has a master's degree in midwifery, which she doesn't use! The system doesn't work. I'm not really interested in how you think it works based on what you have read. I've been through the system. States are incentivized by the federal government to collect as much child support as possible through Social Security Title IV D. If they don't collect enough child support, they lose funding that they rely…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 02:36 AM
3

Yes, split between parents is fine. But that isn't how the system exists now. If my ex cheats, I should have a right to equal custody, and if I exercise that right, my ex shouldn't get child support. I would be paying child support in the form of taking care of their needs while they are with me 50% of the time. Unfortunately that's not how the system works.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 02:12 AM
2

It means men who get cheated on wouldn't then have to pay the person who cheated child support and alimony. Why is that a bad thing? Edit: I recently looked into a pre nup and you can get an adultery clause, but it's not enforceable. I was told by the lawyer that it is considered unconscionable. Maybe that is why.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 11:03 PM
1

You’re being completely naive about how the modern world works. Due to inflation, the rising cost of housing, childcare and education. It is not possible usually for a single man to support a family. Take that along with the fact that young women are out earning men, they are significantly more educated and women’s labour force participation has increased while mens has fallen. I'm not clear what your point is here. Based on this, there is no reason why men still pay the majority of child suppor…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/22 02:12 AM
0

In most cases you’re describing men willingly abandon their kids and are happy not raising them any longer. Define willingly and define abandoning their kids. Because that's not the way I see it. The states receive government incentives to collect as much child support as they can, as efficiently as they can, through Social Security Title IV-D. Who do you think is paying that money? Men. Men are disincentivized to actively support their children physically by raising them, and being forced by th…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/22 05:16 PM
0

The lesbians wouldn't need a man. But the way I interpreted OP's point, he wasn't saying women couldn't make it without men, just that women in general benefit more from men through the government. Just because there will be a few outliers doesn't mean that their point is moot. As it stands there is a whole system of women relying on money, mostly from men. Now that doesn't mean that if we took away all of the government benefits that women, and men to a lesser degree, receive, women wouldn't fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/22 04:52 PM
4

It's not that women get benefits that men don't get, it's that women get the majority of the benefits. And in my opinion, things are set up that way on purpose. Women received the majority of welfare and food stamps. When couples get divorced, the law doesn't allow equal rights to kids for both parents. The courts do what is "in the best interests of the children." Why is that? Because it is defined in a way that will overwhelmingly give women the upper hand in divorce. If men had equal rights, …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/22 07:33 AM
0

If men (mostly) fund the government, and the government (mostly) funds women, that means there are women who are having their needs met without a direct transaction with a man. It also means that the men funding the women see no direct benefit from the women. If you removed the government from the equation, women who weren't 100% self sufficient, could make up the difference by providing some type of direct benefit to a man, usually sex, in exchange for resources. The same would also happen in r…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/22 03:49 AM
66

Yes, because you never know how many people are reading or lurking. Forget about upvotes and downvotes, be respectful, and speak the truth. People need to see our side of the story more.
/r/MensRights19/09/22 02:14 AM
5

Every man should do themselves a favor and try out an international dating app. I'm not saying you have to find someone, but allow yourself to have a real two sided conversation with an attractive woman and ask yourself, what the fuck has happened here?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 01:47 AM
1

No reason we couldn't change that. For example, one advantage of marriage could be to allow parents to have an agreement in case of divorce where custody and child support are included.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 10:28 AM
2

You do realise most employers don’t like you taking your kid to work? I do, and I know plenty of households with two working parents. Including my ex and I! If the expectations were spelled out pre marriage, people would be able to plan for these things. The government aren’t responsible for your offspring, you and the other parent are. Then why do they force me to pay against my will, instead of letting me work out a plan with my ex, either after marriage or before marriage? It sucks if the oth…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 10:21 AM
-1

But the living arrangements also affect the child, so you’ve got ensure the child isn’t forced to live in poverty Yes, which is why there could be a transition period of support for SAHP while they find employment. If they have no usable skills, why should I have to support them. Currently the courts use this as an excuse to give primary custody to one parent, while alienating the other. Having kids to me isn't an excuse not to work. Another way this could be approached more equitably is if each…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 10:01 AM
0

Child expenses are not the same as child support, it’s only thing to buy them shoes when they need them but there’s got to be money to cover their rent, electricity etc If there is 50/50, I would cover their rent, childcare expenses, electricity etc. while they are with me, and their mom would have to cover those things when they are with her. I could see a trial period in certain cases where the working parent pays for both while the non working parent transitions into the workforce. But long-t…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 09:42 AM
3

That is a fair point.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 09:07 AM
0

Actually you can't avoid paying child support by looking after the children. That's the problem. You can be a great dad and a woman can cheat on you. You can be a great dad with an abusive wife. You can be a great dad who wants to be an equal parent but just happens to make more than your wife. You can be a great dad and your wife just doesn't want to work. In each one of those cases if you divorce and go to court you run the risk of paying child support through no fault of your own because stat…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 08:41 AM
0

You avoid the risk of paying alimony by marrying a woman who has similar income and isn't planning to become a SAHM. Ok, she wasn't planning on becoming a SAHM, but she became one anyway. Or, a common one I hear all the time, she only wanted to be a SAHM until the kids were in school, then she was going to go back to her job, but didn't. I think a better way is to have prenuptial agreements that cover contingency plans in case of a divorce. That will help each couple define the roles that the ot…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 07:50 AM
2

Marriage has value, but divorce does not. And since 50% of marriages end in divorce, 70% of divorces are initiated by women, 97% of people paying alimony are men, and 87% of people paying child support are men, I think that needs to be taken into account. Give men a way to get married without forcing them to pay alimony or child support, and I would agree. But marriage represents a huge risk for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 07:28 AM
2

Yes, most people settle out of court, but that is because court and lawyers are expensive (tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars), and fighting in court doesn't guarantee a change of outcome. You even said it yourself one person gets primary custody because that is seen as better for the kids, although there are studies saying otherwise. So what does it prove to say that people settle out of court? A family can function with two working parents, but it couldn't function with no working parent…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 11:35 AM
2

Yes, to all of that. And I will add that I took time off work unpaid, whereas my ex got her time off paid. And no, I am not 1 in a million. Maybe that is the perception, but that isn't the reality. Are there father's who don't do enough, sure. I don't want my ex to pay me child support, I just don't want to have to pay her child support, and our system sucks because by default they want someone to pay child support. States are incentivized by the federal government to collect it. And if we're go…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 10:13 PM
4

I do, and I still have to pay child support. Hence why family courts are unfair.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 04:37 PM
2

I would do it if it meant that I would be treated as an equal by the family courts if we ever got divorced.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 03:42 PM
-3

I think you have to look at every scenario. For unmarried couples. Both want a baby, they have a baby. If the man is present and supports the woman financially throughout the pregnancy, when the baby is born he has a right to equal custody without paying child support. Neither want a baby, they can have an abortion up to the end of the 1st trimester. Woman must endure 100% of the physical responsibility if the abortion, so the man is responsible 100% of the costs of the abortion. If the woman wa…
/r/MensRights01/09/22 03:02 PM
5

You can only avoid it if you don't get married and don't have kids. If you get a prenuptial agreement, you will be able to protect your assets acquired before you get married, but you'll still be on the hook to give up half of your shit acquired during the marriage, and also alimony if she is "used to a certain lifestyle." Having kids puts you at risk of paying child support, in which case your kids are "used to a certain lifestyle." Sure, you can try and get custody, but you have to factor in t…
/r/MensRights26/08/22 11:33 PM
1

I think you have to look at every scenario. For unmarried couples. Both want a baby, they have a baby. If the man is present and supports the woman financially throughout the pregnancy, when the baby is born he has a right to equal custody without paying child support. Neither want a baby, they can have an abortion up to the end of the 1st trimester. Woman must endure 100% of the physical responsibility if the abortion, so the man is responsible 100% of the costs of the abortion. If the woman wa…
/r/MensRights20/08/22 10:22 PM
1

Watch Lex Fridman's interview with David Buss. David Buss is an evolutionary psychologist, and he said that when women have affairs they tend to fall in love around 70% of the time, whereas men fall in love around 30% of the time. Both are wrong, obviously, but with women there is a higher chance of an emotional component than with men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 05:36 PM
1

Look up Social Security Title IV D. Basically states are being given hundreds of millions in incentives based on how "efficiently" they collect child support. One way to be more efficient, at least on the books, is to increase the amount of money collected overall. So instead of a system that is used to protect single parents from a deadbeat, we have a system that is actively alienating parents at the expense of children in order to be able to collect as much as possible.
/r/MensRights29/07/22 10:29 AM
5

If you believe in what you're saying, you don't have to ban people with differing opinions.
/r/MensRights28/07/22 10:58 AM
1

Give parents equal rights to their children, and if they exercise those rights, no child support is exchanged. Allow prenuptial agreements more power so that someone who tried to protect themselves doesn't end up paying alimony.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 09:51 PM
1

Men would be less likely to abandon their children if they had equal parental rights. I would start there first. What are equal parental rights? To me that would look like 50/50 custody as a right, and if the parents choose 50/50 custody, no child support is exchanged.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/22 03:50 PM
38

I would also add, that you can't avoid alimony, at least in Ohio, with a pre nup. Basically all it is good for is to protect your previous assets, but what good is that if you end up having to dip into those assets in order to survive.
/r/MensRights09/07/22 04:44 PM
3

In the US you don't get to choose 50/50 custody as the default, except for in 3 or 4 states. And even if you do get to choose 50/50 custody you may still have to pay child support. So the reason some people say it is slavery is because they are forced out of their kids lives by court order, and then they are forced to pay child support. If men were given a choice of 50/50 custody, and in choosing equal custody didn't have to pay child support, then it would be fair.
/r/MensRights09/07/22 04:29 PM
8

Ok, why?
/r/MensRights09/07/22 02:51 PM
9

Do you believe parents are treated equally in family court?
/r/MensRights09/07/22 02:42 PM
8

It's not about money saving tips, it's about fair treatment of parents. If you are a parent you should have a right to equal parenting time. It only follows that if parents have equal responsibilities, that neither has to pay the other child support.
/r/MensRights09/07/22 02:28 PM
10

Yes. And just so we don't stray too far from the point. All parents should have a right to equal custody, unless they have committed some sort of crime. And any parent who exercises equal custody should be considered to be paying child support through the expenses they will incur.
/r/MensRights09/07/22 01:39 PM
13

As someone who has their kids half of the time and still has to pay child support, I can tell you from experience that it would be tens of thousands of dollars cheaper a year if I simply had to pay for my kids expenses directly instead of having to pay for them indirectly through their mom. Who are you trying to fool?
/r/MensRights09/07/22 01:12 PM
17

Does his state have a rebuttable presumption of joint custody, or do they make parents fight each other in court for primary custody? Also when the parents have equal custody, does one parent still have to pay child support? What many people don't know is that making people pay child support generates a lot of money for states. The more money they collect, the more money the federal government pays them through Social Security Title IV D. States are becoming more and more dependent on that money…
/r/MensRights09/07/22 10:11 AM
29

You're not being unfair and I would guess the pressure has nothing to do with how you've handled the situation. I personally feel like the pressure comes from society and the fact that even though you're telling him he can come be a father when he is ready, at any point you can change your mind and he will be fucked. He could owe child support, as well as back child support. That's a lot of stress, and unfortunately it is just the way things are.
/r/MensRights08/07/22 07:59 PM
1

You wouldn't even have to go so far as to limit women's freedom, you could just limit their advantages.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 06:12 PM
2

Sure they will, but it doesn't men shouldn't organize and speak up.
/r/MensRights07/07/22 02:39 AM
6

No, it doesn't, but I think it's worth pointing out the double standard.
/r/MensRights29/06/22 08:13 PM
34

You can find the same types of comments against men on women's subreddits, with upvotes and everything. So why aren't they labelled misandrist? To me, there is still clearly a double standard.
/r/MensRights29/06/22 07:22 PM
2

I'm not, but shouldn't we at least try? It's crazy how many people on Reddit think that if a man wants custody, he can just get it.
/r/MensRights28/06/22 06:13 PM
4

We should start a campaign against Title IV-D
/r/MensRights28/06/22 05:52 PM
15

Crazy idea, instead of making men pay child support, just allow them to be equal parents, with equal time, and throw out child support.
/r/MensRights28/06/22 04:16 PM
24

Given everything with Roe V Wade, this will fly under the radar. This is a cowardly move by DeSantis.
/r/MensRights25/06/22 01:10 PM
2

I would love to respond, but I was banned from their echo chamber. But I think it's good to bring these issues up so that they become more mainstream.
/r/MensRights15/06/22 09:35 PM
1

She can't force her husband, if he doesn't agree then consequences will ensue. Ok, if she has a baby, and she doesn't go back to work, and he divorces her, then what? She has a case that she can't work because the baby is young, so sure, there are consequences, but she will most likely be able to claim that she needs to care for the baby, get full or close to full custody, and then get child support. but if husband cheated, or gambled all the money away, then wife is entitled to alimony, which i…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 11:58 PM
1

The problem is that a home can function with two working parents, but not with no working parents, so someone is forced to work. If a wife decides she wants to stay home she is effectively forcing her husband to work. And to be honest, that is fine, but if a marriage ends, the ex spouses should be able to come up with a new arrangement and I think the starting point should be that they both have equal custody and nobody pays support. This wouldn't mean that a stay at home parent is thrown out on…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 09:15 AM
3

Where I live the extra cost between a one and two bedroom apartment is $100.
/r/MensRights12/06/22 02:20 PM
4

I have two kids, they really don't cost as much as people say. My kids probably cost an extra $200 a month.
/r/MensRights12/06/22 10:54 AM
1

If divorce happens, I don't believe that the parent who stayed home to raise the children should be punished for that. They might not have been contributing financially but surely raising healthy, happy kids is an important contribution to a family? I agree that they shouldn't be punished, but if one parent stayed home, surely the other parent was forced to work. They shouldn't be punished either. The parents should be treated as equally as possible. There are so many ways to improve the system …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 01:51 AM
1

Well first we gotta get the reddit crowd informed so that we can take it to the state legislature with an army of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 01:45 AM
1

Hahahaha, I have noticed.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 12:15 AM
0

You absolutely can say "work or I leave" and It's not the governments job to protect you from your lack of bsckbone. Dude you already can leave if yoir partner doesn't work. What are you even talking about?? Ok, I agree with that it's not the governments job to protect me. The problem I have is that the government does protect the mother, usually. And why can't the system be changed so that I can protect myself? Yeah, have some fucking foresight. Like prenups already exist. You just want it to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 12:14 AM
1

And that is fine if a new mom wants to work less. But if there is a separation, which statistically is initiated by women 70% of the time, men are forced to pay child support for 18 years. If I have a wife that decides to work less to take care of the children, I am more likely to have to keep working in order to support the family. So what I suggest is that we modify the laws so that men are allowed to choose equal custody, and if they choose equal custody, they don't have to pay child support.…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 10:59 PM
0

And so di their husband's lol Jesus. Like just accept you helped decide to have kids and you agreed to let her stay home. That's on you. What I am talking about is men and women taking equal responsibility. Again, not their choice alone. Nobody is paying alimony because their partner was unemployed for 1 month. Again, you can't force someone to work if they don't want to. What's wrong with having your partner sign an agreement saying she will try to find work before you make a commitment, as a s…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 10:51 PM
1

So instead of trying to figure all of that out after a marriage ends and emotions are high, why not allow people to figure out what they will do if there is a divorce before the marriage? That way if they can't agree, they don't get married. So for example, I am not ok with alimony, but I am ok with splitting assets acquired during a marriage. I am also not ok with child support, but I am ok with equal custody. If someone isn't ok with that, we don't get married.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 09:07 PM
7

Yeah, how about no were not doing that. Just because a man earned more money doesn't mean the woman did nothing. Don't like it, don't get married. She could have given up job opportunities to move for a promotion for him. Don't I would never marry a man who would make me sign this. That's the beauty of it, you don't have to. Means he doesn't trust me from the get go and probably gonna find a way to screw me and take whatever scraps I have. This is how men feel about traditional marriage. You wan…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 08:44 PM
3

I understand, but there's nothing that says we can't change the law so that it does cover assets acquired during marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 08:35 PM
1

When you talk about alimony, or spousal support, it’s assumed that you’re talking about a monthly payment. Are you talking more broadly about any asset that would hold/appreciate in value that the other party wouldn’t reap the benefits of? No. What I mean is that alimony can be used as a bargaining chip. So for example, someone could negotiate an extra $25,000 in lieu of monthly alimony payments. That wouldn't be officially counted as alimony, but the alimony would be used to secure money or ass…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 07:20 PM
0

Alimony is rarely ordered these days Alimony is hidden, because it can still be used as leverage. Sure maybe someone doesn't get paid over 5 years, but maybe they negotiated that away in exchange for the house. Naturally they don't have statistics for that though. No judge would order that a woman with children and no job experience be turned onto the streets, or worse, made to be on welfare and costing taxpayers money. Right, which is why men need to be careful. Because a log of women, I believ…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 05:44 PM
3

I agree and congratulations for having an adult conversation and making a very adult decision. I will look into doing something similar. Thanks for the comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 05:39 PM
1

Yes, it's always a mutual decision to be a stay at home parent. No it isn't, because if someone doesn't want to work, you can't force them. It absolutely can. Especially for small kids. And it depends on the kind of job you have, the number of cars, etc. Then women need to take that into account before they have kids. And since women are responsible for 70% of divorces, they shouldn't then be able to force a man to pay for their poor choice in career. Life happens, people make choices, including…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 05:34 PM
6

The way I look at it is, if on the weeks where one parent has the kids, if they aren't getting to school on time, or if they aren't making their Dr. Appointments, it's easily provable in court. And could result in a loss of time with them, and having to pay child support, as well as back child support. I feel that would keep people honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 04:13 PM
2

Being a stay at home parents is always a mutual decision lol. So This isn't true. Yea, it was probably something they were also "forced to do" because chikd care is expensive as fuck, as well as commuting and having 2 vehicles that are job travel worthy. That's not a lie. And being a stay at home mom isn't a perk, it's a huge responsibility. Like the running joke even until recently was "oh dad's watching the kids, babysitting" and men even add to it like "God I can't handle these kids, I don't …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 04:11 PM
30

Many women won't say this, but once they have kids they (not all women) don't want to work. I know what I am about to say is anecdotal, but it is true for both of my sisters, my sister in law, and my ex wife. If a man makes enough, they would rather be home and have authority over the husband when it comes to childcare decisions. But when it comes time for divorce, they will never admit that they chose to stay at home, instead they were forced to stay home because somebody had to. Nevermind all …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 02:58 PM
-1

Divorced dads who are alienated from their kids, and then forced to pay child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 12:54 AM
9

This is true, but you can't argue with feminists respectfully on their forum without being banned. As far as I know, the same is not true here. You may get downvoted into oblivion, but everyone is free to share ideas and opinions.
/r/MensRights08/06/22 07:05 PM
38

I have a feamle friend who I go to for real opinions, as well as male friends. My biggest stock holding is in a company whose CEO is a woman. I think she is doing a phenomenal job. Currently I am in charge planning a class reunion. Everyone besides me who has volunteered is a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/22 05:57 PM
3

When I was growing up I would hear stories about dead beat dads and how guys would abandon their kids. That always seemed strange to me because I grew up in a stable home environment and my dad was always around. Fast forward some years and I am a father in a failing relationship. My now ex wife and I divorce, but I am not worried because I am a good dad, and I have always been a good dad and there for my kids, not like those other dad's you hear about. Unfortunately what I didn't know was that …
/r/MensRights07/06/22 09:08 AM
1

I would argue a stay at home parent is effectively being paid. It is very likely that if you're a stay at home parent, all of your food, shelter, clothing, and extras are being paid for. You would likely have access to credit cards and a bank account. And if there is a divorce, the stay at home parent gets half of everything acquired during the marriage. And then once the marriage ends, you no longer have to provide the services to the working parent, but for some reason they are required to sup…
/r/MensRights02/06/22 11:21 PM
2

At no point was it discussed that this was a stay at home parent, just a stay at home spouse. If that is the case, I agree that there should be some sort of monetary exchange to help the other parent get on their feet. But where I live, that is a separate payment called child support, not alimony. If you're talking about temporary child support to a non working parent in order for them to get on their feet, I would agree. Unfortunately the system we have doesn't work like that because in the vas…
/r/MensRights02/06/22 02:46 PM
5

I disagree. You marry someone and they don't work for years, leaving all of the financial responsibility on you. Then, you divorce them and they get half of what you worked for, and on top of that, you have to maintain their lifestyle? I don't see how that is fair unless explicitly agreed upon by both parties. If someone doesn't want to be destitute, they can maintain a job. And if someone wants alimony, they should have to get their partner to agree to a pre nup specifying how much and for how …
/r/MensRights02/06/22 10:47 AM
1

For most of history, but how many PPD women have lived through this history?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 05:07 PM
1

Why in 2022 is the default custody for children not legally 50/50 between parents?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 02:20 PM
20

I agree with what you're saying, but I think we also need to acknowledge that we have a systemic issue affecting mostly men in this country. There are only 3 or 4 states where joint custody is presumed in the best interest of the children, meaning 26 states legally prefer to give one parent primary custody. Once one parent has primary custody, they will be awarded child support. And when the state has to collect child support, what do they get? They get federal funds based on how much child supp…
/r/MensRights29/05/22 12:59 AM
3

I have been married and I had to pay alimony. Currently I am engaged and one of the prerequisites for getting married again (I was upfront about this from the beginning of my relationship) was that I would only get married if she signed a prenuptial agreement. She agreed, but when I called the lawyer he said that you can absolutely put a no alimony clause in there, but it doesn't really mean anything. Meaning, they can still make me pay. If it's not that big of a deal, why can't I take it off th…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/22 04:07 PM
9

The thing is, child support and alimony are even more devastating for a guy who isn't rich. Half of 2 million is still a million dollars, but half of $60,000 a year will change your life, for the worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/22 12:02 AM
2

Because women think they can do better, and they usually get paid to try. I have also heard that unmarried couples break up with around a 50/50 initiation rate.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/22 07:35 PM
1

What I am saying is if a man doesn't want to be a father and he makes a good faith effort to keep in touch, pay for the abortion, and he doesn't have a habit of irresponsibility getting chicks pregnant, he shouldn't be responsible for taking care of a baby, financially or otherwise, if the woman chooses to have it anyway. I don't think we disagree, but if there is something you do disagree with, let me know.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/22 03:33 PM
4

My thinking is that if a woman bears 100% of the physical responsibility, shouldn't the man bear 100% of the financial responsibility to help make things more even. It could be paid in installments just like any other medical bill. It sucks, but it's better than 18 years of child support. Could you tell me why it seems absurd to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/22 01:58 PM
3

Well, you could design a system that creates accountability. For example, if a couple becomes pregnant, and they decide they aren't ready to have a baby, only allow a man to guarantee parental surrender if he meets certain conditions. For example, he should be financially responsible for the procedure. To me this seems like a no brainer because women have 100% physical responsibility, so men should have 100% financial responsibility. But the physical responsibility is greater, so women still get…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/22 11:41 AM
0

Financial abortion should be conditionally allowed. For example if a man maintains communication with a woman after they sleep together, if he supports her in getting an abortion, and he is willing to pay for the procedure in it's entirety, he should be able to surrender parenthood if the woman still chooses to keep the baby. I also think it could be a good idea to create an artificial limit for a man, because a man could very easily get multiple women pregnant and avoid consequences despite cau…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/22 11:27 AM
18

How about we make it legal for men to walk away from unwanted pregnancy, and then women can stop sleeping with us unless we sign a paper that says we will take care of a baby if you get pregnant. I would go for that. In fact, if I really wanted to have sex, I would probably be more careful after signing a paper like that.
/r/MensRights06/05/22 09:06 PM
8

"but you have to take into account that sex leads to a child." But where abortion is legal, sex doesn't necessarily lead to childbirth. Childbirth is another separate choice which is solely afforded to women. So if having a child is optional for women, why isn't it optional for men as well? Women have inescapable physical responsibility, but they also get (or used to get) the final decision. I believe to make it more fair, men should have their own responsibilities in order to be able to surrend…
/r/MensRights06/05/22 08:57 PM
0

Seems like it would be a lot easier just to go on birth control than move to a different state.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/22 10:47 AM
131

I was in the same boat as you, and I feel you on this. It's not fair. I'm not super well versed in what I am about to say, so take it with a grain of salt. There is something called Social Security Title IV-D. States compete for federal money based on how efficiently they collect child support. Now, on the surface, that sounds like a good thing, but what I believe really ends up happening is they alienate parents, usually fathers with decent jobs, from their kids, so they can then get the maximu…
/r/MensRights01/05/22 09:56 PM
2

Well in my state, there is no such thing as an infidelity clause. They're unenforceable. You can certainly include them, still. The reason I know this is I recently looked into doing a prenuptial agreement. One thing I have learned is that if you have wealth, and you get married, there is no real way to protect it, unfortunately. "Overall I see your point but I don’t think that’s the largest contributor to why only 10% of women get it. It’s a combination of things. Also wouldn’t a lump sum payou…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 10:33 PM
0

Alright, I'll bite. "How can you use something you don't/won't get as leverage?" Well, you can't. But just because 10% of women receive alimony, doesn't mean that is the number of women who are eligible for amilony. I'm sure the number of people eligible for alimony is much higher because, for example in my state, you only have to be married for 7 years to be eligible. And that's not a hard rule, that's just a rule of thumb. So some of the women who don't receive alimony, may have used their ali…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 10:06 PM
-5

Aww, that's ok. I'm sure you would have intentionally missed the point anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 09:55 PM
-3

Well the answer is there, you just have to follow the cupcake crumbs.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 09:47 PM
-1

You think only 10% of divorcing women qualify for alimony? In my state, you only have to be married for 7 years to qualify.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 09:42 PM
2

Just because women don't get alimony directly doesn't mean it isn't used as leverage for something else.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 09:10 PM
1

Yes, I agree that it is a boundary worth enforcing. The problem is, in order to enforce a boundary, there must be consequences. But the way the law is written, consequences are minimized. If I have to maintain a woman's standard of living regardless of how they perform as a stay at home mom, what incentive do they have? If she continues to be a piece of shit, oh well, just divorce her and pay $3,000 a month so she can continue to do nothing. You're giving yourself way too much credit, and to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 01:08 AM
0

It's a failure of public policy, not a failure of leadership. If someone has no incentive to work, you can't make them work, no matter how good of a leader you think you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 06:13 PM
8

Same, but women women are usually the victims. Which is my answer for an example of female privilege.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 03:23 PM
26

I'd like to elaborate on this one a bit. A lot of women once they have a baby they will say something like, I need a little time off. And a good man will agree, because he knows she just went through a lot, and he wants her to have time to heal. Fast forward 5 years, and she is all done recovering. You come home and the house is a disaster like every other day. There is tension in the house because your kid is now in school, and your wife clearly has no interest in being a housewife, but at the …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 03:16 PM
5

What if she treats you well, and then changes her mind later. I dated a woman who told me that as soon as she had kids, she didn't love her husband anymore. For her it was like a switch had flipped. Her words. So now what happens? They divorce, he has to pay child support and alimony. I think the crux of the issue lies in the fact that with marriage and kids, it gives women the power to ruin your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/22 01:26 PM
1

Cheating isn't at the core of the issue for me. The issue is lack of consequences, for women specifically, once you're married and have kids, and they cheat. I don't have a link to share, but I once read on here that women and men initiate a breakup about equally during the dating stage (take that with a grain of salt). But once married, that number jumps to 67% (I do have the stats to back that up). What could the difference be? IMO, it's lack of asset sharing. If I am married and there is a di…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/22 10:11 AM
7

I'm not angry about hypergamy by itself. Be hypergamous. But the issue for me is if you get married, and a woman decides to be hypergamous, she can do it while I have to maintain her same lifestyle she was used to.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 11:41 AM
2

Single mom's aren't scheming to end up broke and alone, but they do as a consequence of a system that doesn't treat parents equally, and as a consequence of their actions. They end up broke and alone when a man is alienated from his children and forced to pay child support. Consider the example above where the man tried to be a good husband. Imagine after all of that, you can't take it anymore, get divorced, and the courts say, well now you need to support this person with alimony and child supp…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 10:06 AM
5

We don't need to. But we do need to change the laws to change with the times. Men shouldn't be forced to be providers after a divorce if they are willing to be equal parents. Men shouldn't be forced to pay alimony either. This would also work in favor of women who are supporting their deadbeat husbands. Whether the problem exists or not, this would solve it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 12:42 AM
2

Sure but the difference is, if a person who doesn't work gets divorced, the laws are set up to help them. And for the person who was trying to help his partner, the laws are going to screw them. And despite you claiming this is such a weird specific situation, it's a really common pattern. I bet if you talked to 10 married guys, half of them would say something similar. If the question is, who benefits more from marriage, I think this scenario explains my answer, and why. But the good news is, i…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 12:24 AM
7

Ok, let's do a hypothetical. Let's say your wife recently had a baby, and she is tired and sore and recovering from said baby. And you have a discussion about her taking some time off to recover. So you agree to a limited time off of work, a year. A year passes, the kids can now be put in daycare, and she still isn't working. You talk about it, baby, you should probably go back to work. But she says it's too stressful, or she says she is looking, but really she's half assing it because she doesn…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/22 11:01 PM
28

What sacrifices are women forced to make, VS what sacrifices are women choosing to make? I would argue many women choose a more relaxed stay at home life, and once they get a divorce the narrative switches to, I gave up my career to try and make you happy. If it's such a hazard to give up your career, the solution for women is easy, don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/22 07:49 PM
5

Hahaha, no, really?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/22 07:46 PM
16

Pre nuptial agreements don't necessarily protect against paying alimony either. At least not in my state, and probably not in many others. They also can't be written to say if a partner cheats, they forfeit x because that is considered "unconscionable."
/r/MensRights26/03/22 05:13 PM
22

Many, and always because their profile picture was either outdated or misleading.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/22 01:39 PM
2

Yes, I have great relationships with my mom, my two sisters, my two daughters, and my fiance. I also have two close female friends one of which I went on a cruise with in 2019. It was us and our kids, and was completely platonic. I have a strained relationship with my ex wife. I lean red pill, not because I have issues with women, but because I have issues with being forced to support my ex wife through alimony and child support despite being an equal parent.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 06:05 PM
1

Women aren't accountable for their actions. That's toxic femininity.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 06:42 PM
0

Just make a calculator that narrows down which percentile a man is in. For example, you could put in parameters like, age, height, weight, savings, income. I'll make up the percentiles, but this will be an example. If you are 5'10", you're in the upper 45% of men. If you make $65,000 a year at age 25, you're in the top 35%. If you have $40,000 saved with no debt, your in the top 20% in your age group. Then put it all together and that's where you're at. I don't know if that example makes sense. …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 08:39 AM
10

As someone who has dated outside of the US, and is currently engaged to someone outside of the US, it's complicated. Even your post presents a number of barriers. Just move to a different country. Easier said than done. Possibly learning a new language is also hard, IMO. Bringing them here is also a pain in the butt, and the way the system is set up, you're taking a big risk because you have to sign a document that says you will support them for 10 years (Affidavit of Support). And the easiest a…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 10:49 PM
4

I work in a male dominated field and the women here are treated the same as the guys. Do they get harassed? Yes, but the people catching the most shit are always men with low seniority. So here's my question. Women are harassed in the workplace, but how does that compare to men also being harassed in the workplace? The article doesn't tell the other side of the story. Also, the flip side are stories about women who are horrible at a job who can't be fired simply because they are women. A friend …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 10:18 AM
2

My fiance isn't from the US. So yes, but it doesn't really work out in our situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/22 11:17 PM
5

The misconceptions perpetuated on this forum about divorce and child support are awful. You seem to be on the right path, but I see a lot of complacency. I've been through the system, so I know a little bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/22 10:47 PM
7

I just hired a lawyer because I am thinking about getting married. Pre nups (which are actually called antenuptial agreements) can't protect you from alimony, they can't protect the money you make after getting married, and they can't have a clause that says, if one of you cheats, they get less because that would be unconscionable. So unless wealthy men can change the law, this is a misconception.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/22 10:39 PM
1

Just to be clear, I am not for having sex without risk, but I can understand if you think I am because that is a position that is somewhat present on Reddit. I have been on r/mensrights where people are advocating that because women can have an abortion, men should be able to simply be able to walk away without any responsibility whatsoever. I am not in that camp. I am however for shared responsibilities. While there is no perfect solution to what shared responsibility would look like, I think t…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 08:05 PM
36

There was a post on here a while back which showed the reason women attempted suicide more was that they were counting women and girls who were into cutting as attempting suicide, which I would say is more of a self mutilation behavior, than an actual suicidal behavior.
/r/MensRights09/03/22 03:08 PM
1

Part of it is getting people to believe that the system as it is now is broken, but I see so much misinformation on here.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 04:33 PM
1

"Revolutions have been sparked for less papa." No need to be patronizing
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 04:28 PM
3

I would be willing to bet that if fathers could have guaranteed equal custody, as well as guarantees on either greatly reduced or no child support, guys would support it. Even if I do talk to my elected officials what are they going to do? States get incentives through Title IV D of the Social Security act based on how much child support they collect. So even if they think it's a great idea, they risk losing hundreds of millions of dollars in federal funding. "Hey great idea, but if we do what's…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 04:11 PM
3

Ok, how about we make that the default custody arrangement. Just because something may happen, doesn't mean it will. And I am speaking from experience. If a father is willing to take on 50/50 custody, he 100% shouldn't be forced to pay child support. None of this, well he makes more than the mom, crap. If he is taking an equal share of the parenting burden, she can get a better job. And if she can't, she shouldn't be having kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 03:59 PM
1

But if he wants 50/50 custody, there's a good chance he'll get it, so I'm not sure why you're saying this isn't the case... Because it's not a guarantee, and in cases where he is doing his best to be a good father, it should be his right. I have been through the system, I have equal custody, and I still pay child support. It's bullshit. "You're right, women don't have to, but if they do, that is the consequence. You don't pay child support for kids that don't exist either, so what's your real gr…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 03:56 PM
4

Honestly I can't even believe it has a positive amount of upvotes.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 03:32 PM
2

"This is the law in my country." Unfortunately it's not the law in mine. "It's funny how raising children is for many men just a question of money, not the wellbeing of their offspring." It's about being fair vs being forced to do something, and I bet if women were in the same situation, they would react the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 03:31 PM
1

I'm not saying a father has no legal rights to his own children. I'm saying a father doesn't have an equal right to his children, and because he does have an equal right, they can use that to manipulate him into being a provider against his will. And that is why a lot of them leave. Women don't have to birth a child, and they don't have to raise a child.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 03:29 PM
1

"If he's married, he has a right, or once he has established paternity he would have one too I believe..." This is wrong. "The bitter truth is, most guys don't want 50/50 or are willing to fight to get it. They seem quite content to cry the system is rigged against them and then live the single life while bitching about child support at the bar every weekend with their friends. You would have to fix that situation first before you could properly see if the laws are lacking.." Which makes this wr…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 03:14 PM
6

The only reason women aren't forced is because they are incentivized. How about men have the right to spend equal time, we get rid of the idea of a primary parent in those situations, and no money needs to exchange hands.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 03:06 PM
1

"She could still have to pay too." Well, under a hypothetical system where choosing 50/50 negates child support, she wouldn't have to. So it's a win win. "Those are mostly outlier cases. Any lawyer that deals with divorces know women are going to pull this bullshit, and any good lawyer will ask for evidence." I agree those are mostly outlier cases, but the threat of them can have an effect on what people do. It could cause a lot of men not to even attempt to get full custody, unless of course yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 03:01 PM
-1

"There is no law, that I know of, that says a father cannot have 50/50 custody and there is no law that says he default has to pay child support in a 50/50 set up" I also don't know of any law that says a father can't get 50/50, that's not the issue. The issue is that there's no law that says a perfectly good father has a right to 50/50, except for two states. And even in those two states it's perfectly fine for them to still make you pay child support against your will. In fact, states incentiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 02:54 PM
1

Right, so I could get equal custody and still have to pay? How is that fair? How is that not a disincentive, usually for men? Rebuttable presumption laws are only a thing in two states, Arkansas, and Kentucky, so if the divorce is contentious, which they often are, one parent could just say the other parent is abusive and they will almost always get custody, even if there is no evidence. You could still negotiate daycare and insurance. But daycare is relatively easy. Each parent could get a week…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 02:40 PM
5

Show me the laws that say if you want 50/50, you'll get it, and show me the laws that say if you choose to be an equal parent, you don't have to pay child support. Custody doesn't have to go to court for the laws to have influence over what people do.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 02:34 PM
5

Court is expensive and the odds are against you. So yeah, that makes sense. But in any case, there still aren't laws that exist anywhere in the US that say that a man can choose to be an equal parent, and if they choose to be an equal parent they don't have to pay child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 02:29 PM
19

If a woman can't get an abortion after a certain time frame, then a man shouldn't be able to opt out after a certain time frame either. In fact, the man should have a shorter time frame, because an abortion probably isn't something you could just pop in and do. Let's say the couple has an accident, if a man makes a good faith effort to communicate that he doesn't want to have a baby, and he supports the woman financially so that she's able to get an abortion without financial responsibility, he …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 02:26 PM
5

If men are going to be forced to take care of their children, they should at least be allowed to choose how they support them. For example, men should be able to choose equal custody rather than have to provide monetary support. You say it's usually men who will leave their children, which is true, but I would argue that the system unfairly forcing them to pay instead of giving them options is responsible for some of those men stepping away.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 02:10 PM
3

I think men should be responsible for pregnancy because if a man and a woman have sex they are implicitly agreeing to the possibility of pregnancy. However, since abortion is a thing and childbirth is optional, men should be able to opt out of childbirth and anything afterwards. That would essentially make the man and the woman equal. This would mean costs associated with pregnancy/abortion would be covered by the man since all physical responsibility with pregnancy/abortion is shouldered by the…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 01:57 PM
8

I agree. I always get down voted when posting something similar on here. I'm 100% pro men's rights, as long as they're equal. If a woman gets pregnant, she has an unavoidable physical responsibility. To equalize things, men should have a financial responsibility.
/r/MensRights03/03/22 11:56 AM
7

Can we pin a thread with misleading studies? There seem to be a lot of studies whose headlines are massaged by inaccurate or suspicious data. It would be a great resource for us. We could have individual posters make a case for a study to be added to the list and other users could verify if a study seems suspicious or not.
/r/MensRights27/02/22 04:07 PM
2

Yes, but if custody was 50/50 by default, that would mean fathers would have to be responsible for all of those things when it is their time with the children. At least, that would be the starting point. Maybe a lot of men don't want that responsibility, and they could negotiate child support until mom is comfortable sacrificing work in order to be more available for when the kids are sick or on holiday from school. Maybe changing the law would also change the overall mating strategy for women. …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 06:48 PM
2

Now I feel like you're getting into a slippery slope argument. And I appreciate you being courteous, so I hope I don't come off as a dick. If women can use the reasoning, "we're wired differently," in order to explain why they are at home more, I believe that same logic should be used to explain the wage gap. Why do men make more? "We're wired differently." "I don't think women will ever lose government incentives to have children. The government wants future tax payers and it's mainly women who…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 08:46 PM
1

That's fine, but I would be curious to see what would happen if women lost all of their incentives to raise children. I bet some still would, and a lot would say fuck it. Women aren't above men just because they are mothers. Also, I would just like to point out that I have equal physical custody, and I pay child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 08:11 PM
6

I hear this argument a lot, and I don't agree with it. A household can function with two working parents. Single mother's work while having children all the time. However, it won't function with two parents staying home. Therefore if a mother decides she wants to stay home, she is effectively forcing her husband to work. I think the expectation should be that when you get divorced, you get to renegotiate from the starting point of equal parents. What I mean by that is, each parent is assumed to …
/r/MensRights23/02/22 08:06 PM
9

The states need the federal subsidies to help run their family courts, which I believe affects the judges ruling on child support cases. The more money they get from the feds, the more money goes to the department where they work. Why should I have to make your household equal to my household. Your income is the result of your choices, not mine. If you get a degree in art history and end up working for a non profit making $40,000 a year, and I went to school for engineering and make $120,000 a y…
/r/MensRights23/02/22 05:44 PM
2

But you're forgetting that I have my kids half the time, for which I receive no money, and on top of that, I pay child support. Think about that. I pay roughly half of the costs just by having them half of the time, and then an extra $1000 a month goes to my ex wife. So she essentially gets to enjoy the kids for free, while I have to cover costs both at my house and hers.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 05:23 PM
11

How about if you're willing to share the responsibility of caring for a child equally, you don't have to pay child support. Most state laws either won't let you be an equal parent, or they will let you, but you still have to pay support. They force you to pay because states get federal subsidies based on how much child support they collect.
/r/MensRights23/02/22 05:07 PM
11

Would this also be true for alimony/spousal support?
/r/MensRights23/02/22 05:02 PM
2

Except, I am not paying $430 a month, I am paying $1,000 a month, and I have equal custody with my ex. And since I am an equal parent, I know what my kids cost, and it's not $1,000 a month. It's more like $200 a month, for both of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 04:56 PM
2

Actually, this is useful. I appreciate you finding this for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 03:48 PM
1

Well, I have also seen the $400 a month figure on Google and I couldn't find any other information. For example is $400 the average payment per parent, or per child. Or is the $400 the average amount people receive, which would skew the number. Also, looking up that number again, that $430 is from the 2010 Census. That's not great information to base an entire argument on in my opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 03:12 PM
1

Do people who don't pay anything skew the average?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 02:49 PM
1

You're right, I'm not. But I also made sure I was in a good place in life before I had kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 12:22 PM
0

Raising children is not that expensive. Raising children and trying to keep up with the Joneses is expensive. Source, I am raising two girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 11:17 AM
3

Oh, so that means everyone pays $400 a month?/s
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 11:16 AM
3

Fathers are less likely to apply for equal parenting time because they are less likely to get it, and even if they do, they may still have to pay support. I have 50/50 custody and I pay $1,000 a month.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 11:10 AM
5

Actually, there are only two states where men can get equal custody by default. And even if they do, they might still have to pay. I bet if you changed the laws to say, men can claim equal custody and if they did, they don't have to pay support, you would see men become very interested in equal custody. Unfortunately we are disincentivized by the government.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 10:58 AM
1

No, the state doesn't get the child support, but the state takes a 2% cut of the child support collected, which spread out across millions of people is millions of dollars. The state also gets federal money based on how much money they collect. So essentially the more money they collect, the more money they get, via fees, and via the federal incentive system. So if you're a judge, and you're trying to figure out what to do in a particular case where both parents seem like decent people, in the b…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 11:25 PM
1

I think maybe that's how it used to be until the mid to late 90's. Not only that, the federal government introduced Title IV D of the Social Security which offers state incentives based on how much child support they collect. So the state could actually lose funding if they pass laws that cause them to collect less support.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 09:53 PM
1

No, unfortunately, I couldn't find one the last time someone asked. It may be 3 states now also. What you could do is type in each state followed by rebuttable presumption of joint custody, which is the legal jargon for, legally believing joint custody is in the best interests of the children. I believe the 3 states are Arkansas, Kentucky, and maybe Utah. Another resource you could use would be National Parents Organization website, they grade each state on how they run their family courts. I be…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 11:29 AM
1

That's good, but every judge is different. And even if they calculate someone's wage at minimum, it's not going to make a huge difference in the amount of support you have to pay. For example, if I made $80,000 the total child support owed would be $9800 a year where I live, and I would be responsible for 100% of that. If I made $80,000 and she made $20,000 the total child support owed is $11,500, but I would still be responsible for $9,200 of that a year, because it is divided up based on your …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 11:11 AM
1

I agree with you. My whole point is that if you choose 50/50 you shouldn't have to pay support. Unfortunately people who haven't been through the system don't realize that's not how it works. For example, states get federal incentives which are based on how much child support they collect. States are incentivized to collect child support!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 10:58 AM
0

"The state is not assuming anything. If he is supported by his SAHW, then a portion of his earnings belong to her." A portion of his earnings would be awarded to her in a divorce, but if the man wants to be an equal parent, why should his earnings still go to her? "It's not "free money", it's raising children... Even in cases where custody is 50/50, it's generally only one parent that's scheduling doctors appointments, buying school clothes, attending PTA meetings, ect ect..." So why not allow t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 09:23 PM
4

"He kinda is though..." No, he isn't. The state assumes he is so that they don't have to pay entitlements to the unemployed. "Because in most cases, if he is an equal parent, child support is minimal to non-existent if she is working and making roughly equal to him." Well, there are only two states with rebuttable presumption of joint custody. Which means there are only two states where they feel like equal shared parenting is in the best interests of the children. So the first point I will make…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 09:00 PM
4

Yes, but even if a husband agrees, he isn't agreeing to take care of her if they divorce. I will give a personal example. My ex wife wanted to stay home with the kids. This wasn't a need for us, but I agreed to let her do it because she was stressed and I thought it would make her happier. Fast forward a few years later, and she's not happy. In fact she is doing less and less around the house. Her stress is causing us problems We end up getting divorced. But now, since she has been home she set …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 08:33 PM
3

I can't wait to listen, thanks for posting.
/r/MensRights21/02/22 08:13 PM
1

The point is, you don't HAVE to give up your shitty job, and furthermore, you don't HAVE to have kids. These are choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 01:42 AM
1

You or your partner would go out and schedule daycare for your kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 01:34 AM
1

If you had a career, you wouldn't need free daycare. And here we have the issue, women have a job, a shitty job, and then can't afford to work and pay for daycare. Then they want to frame it like they gave up some great career to take care of a kid, so they are owed something.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 01:07 AM
1

Work out a schedule with daycare sweetie. That's what I do with my ex wife, and that's what I see people I work with do who are still married. I also see plenty of single mom's do the same thing. People who make their career a priority will figure out a way to make it work. Saying that one parent has to stay home is a lie.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 12:45 AM
0

Nobody can force you to give up your career because you had children, women choose that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 12:30 AM
1

Alimony can still be used as negotiating leverage.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 12:19 AM
-5

I think we should treat pregnancy and childbirth as separate. When two people have sex, they are implicitly agreeing to the possibility of a pregnancy, but because of medical advances and legalized abortion, they aren't necessarily agreeing to childbirth. So if a couple gets pregnant and they don't want the baby, a man should be 100% responsible for the cost of an abortion because a woman is 100% physically responsible. If he holds his end of the bargain and offers to pay, he is effectively putt…
/r/MensRights15/02/22 12:49 PM
1

Thanks for the advice!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 11:07 PM
1

I will see on Monday. But it also might depend on the individual state.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 10:34 PM
1

There are definitely reasons. Let's say you marry someone and they turn out to be a bum. Well if you divorce them, the state doesn't want to use taxpayer dollars to take care of them through entitlements, so they steal from the ex spouse saying things like, "they are used to a certain standard of living." Essentially they can't do it because there are enough useless lazy unskilled spouses that if they didn't steal from a hardworking ex, it would bankrupt the system.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 06:05 PM
1

Or, just give prenup's the power to do what you originally thought it would do. That seems sensible.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 05:45 PM
1

Your solutions aren't realistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 05:15 PM
1

That still doesn't get to the core of the issue. The problem is, without a proper prenuptial agreement I am responsible for someone else's actions. Oh, you married a waitress? Well she's no longer responsible for her lack of income, the person who married her is. Where is her responsibility to do better? Even if two millionaires get married, one could quit their job for any reason making the other responsible to maintain their lifestyle in a divorce. Which, I don't have a problem with that as lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 12:21 PM
2

I am going to be talking to the second lawyer in three weeks on Monday about prenuptial agreement. All I can say is that the first lawyer didn't give me the feeling that a prenuptial agreement is worth the paper it's written on. However, he was young and I want a second opinion from a more experienced lawyer. Just some highlights from the first lawyer. A prenuptial agreement doesn't protect against alimony, it can't be used to allocate a percentage of money made post marriage as separate propert…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 11:35 AM
3

I am divorced, and I feel like the courts turn you into the bad guy. I remember thinking when I was going to get divorced that the courts would be so happy to see a guy who wanted to be an equal part of his kids life, because all I had ever heard about were deadbeat dad's who abandoned their kids. Then a lawyer tells me, I can try to get equal custody, but I would almost certainly lose, and spend thousands trying. And even getting equal custody I wouldn't get a break on my child support. I have …
/r/MensRights12/02/22 11:24 AM
4

I feel like it's easier to live cheaply as a single person. My fear is actually the opposite, where I worry about bringing someone into my life who doesn't share the same monetary values as me, or worse, leaves with half my shit. But to more directly answer your question, I make enough right now and live frugally. I have a 2 401ks, a pension, an HSA, and of course savings. Right now I drive an 8 year old car that runs perfectly fine, eat out once every two weeks, and don't do too many extravagan…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 12:39 PM
0

No ma'am. You win.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 07:56 PM
0

Check out the National Parents Organization website. They just released their yearly Child Support and Shared Parenting Report Card. Also, the legal terminology for equal parenting is rebuttable presumption of joint custody. States that have it (Arkansas and Kentucky) are the ones where you can argue that joint custody is better for the children and as long as neither parent is abusive. I am divorced with a shared parenting arrangement. I am also engaged, and just talked to a lawyer the Thursday…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 07:29 PM
1

Men also can't choose to be the equal parent, except in two states. And even if they do choose to be an equal parent in those two states, Kentucky and Arkansas, they still have to pay child support in most cases. Maybe we should fix the system and then see if men are still the ones abandoning their children before we paint them with a broad brush. If men could choose equal custody, they would by default be paying to support their children. So there wouldn't be much of a need if any to exchange m…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 07:12 PM
1

Men should be able to choose to be equal parents whether they are married or not, and if men choose to be equal parents, they shouldn't have to pay child support for 18 years. That's not financial abandonment, that is shared responsibility. Yes, maybe there should be some shorter term child support because pregnancy and childbirth are difficult, and women bear 100% of that responsibility, but that doesn't take 18 years. Being able to choose to be an equal parent seems pretty reasonable to me. So…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 06:57 PM
2

Where I live, a prenuptial agreement doesn't protect against alimony, it doesn't protect you from having your kids taken away from you or having to pay child support, it doesn't allow you to divide up future earnings so that some is marital property and some is separate property, and if I use money earned before marriage as a down payment on a home, it doesn't allow me to get that money back in case of a divorce. A prenuptial agreement is as far as I can tell a feel good measure with no actual p…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 06:34 PM
5

The other person can change their mind no matter how well you think you've chosen.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 05:12 PM
7

It's not necessarily their problem, but the solution to their problem of divorce rape.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 12:47 PM
2

All people getting married are required to sign a prenuptial agreement determining what will happen when they divorce. Pregnancy is now considered separate from childbirth. Unmarried couples who engage in sexual activity are implicitly consenting to the risk of pregnancy, but not childbirth. Because women are 100% physically responsible for pregnancy, men are 100% financially responsible for pregnancy or the termination of a pregnancy. However, men, like women, are allowed to opt out of the resp…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 05:48 PM
80

Get divorced once and you'll gladly pay the 3.7%
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/22 12:57 AM
2

So, it varies by state. In my state, you can use it to protect assets made before the marriage. For me that means my investment accounts, which is cool. But let's say I wanted to use some of that money as a fat down payment on a house, that money is now community property. So even though that money is protected, you can't really use it for anything and get it back.
/r/MensRights01/02/22 12:41 AM
5

I am currently engaged and recently spoke to a lawyer about a pre nup, here is what I have learned. Where I live it can't protect me from alimony. It can't protect me from paying child support. It can't say that we should have equal custody of children. It can't say that if someone cheats they get less. It can't protect assets I have earned previously if I were to use them as a down payment on a house, for example. Your mileage may vary, but a pre nup is kind of useless IMO.
/r/MensRights31/01/22 01:22 PM
13

If women want to be wealthy, get a good paying job. That seems like a better solution to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 11:21 AM
1

I think the best solution to this is to treat pregnancy and childbirth differently. If two unmarried people have sex they are consenting to the possibility of pregnancy, but not consenting to childbirth. If an unmarried couple becomes pregnant and neither wants a baby, the woman in my opinion should be able to choose to have an abortion, as it is now, and the man should have to pay for it, since he bears no physical responsibility. If an unmarried couple becomes pregnant and the woman wants the …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 08:44 PM
2

They also do a pretty good podcast called Parent Time Podcast.
/r/MensRights07/01/22 04:05 PM
2

I wouldn't mind stricter child support laws if men were given the option to be equal parents by default, and if they choose that option, they wouldn't have to pay support. Maybe temporary support like they do for alimony in Russia. Or, just have people figure out what is best for them before they get to that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/21 03:58 PM
3

Traditional men are already living under a system where if they get divorced, they will have to pay, so it's not much different in my opinion. But this could be a way for them to differentiate themselves from a more progressive type of guy who maybe would rather be an equal parent rather than a provider in the case if a divorce. If someone doesn't want to take care of their children and they also don't want to pay, have the government garnish their wages, or throw them in jail.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/21 01:54 PM
1

Ahh, ok sorry about that. I must have misread this as I woke up. I think there is an obvious solution to this problem. Change the law so that people have to come up with the terms of their divorce before they get married. If a man wants a SAHM he could put his money where his mouth is before they tie the knot. If a couple wants a more modern relationship, they could agree to share parenting duties 50/50 after divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/21 11:07 AM
0

Because women aren't forced to quit their jobs to have children, they are choosing to quit. And if they don't have a good job, they shouldn't have kids. My ex wife has financial issues, but she makes $70,000, drives a brand new car, has two gym memberships, drinks $8 smoothies regularly, and has a master's degree she doesn't use.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/21 09:25 AM
12

And to be fair, being a man doesn't mean I don't get harassed online, it just means my harassment is different. On top of that, there are games like Rocket League where it's rare that people actually talk on comms. Communication is mostly done through quick chat or typing. You could be totally anonymous on your way up to avoid the assnuts.
/r/MensRights25/12/21 12:59 AM
1

Ahh, that makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/21 09:46 PM
1

Marriages are already like financial contracts. The only difference is that people would actually know exactly what they are signing up for. I see enough wrong information on here to know that people really have no idea what is at stake when they get married. The contract doesn't have to be complicated. Again, they could be standardized and readily available on the internet. Or, don't get married and stay a couple if you can't agree. I mean, if people can't agree on their values, should they get…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/21 08:32 PM
0

That's irrelevant since I am not talking about something that currently exists, but something that should exist. IMO, people should have to sign a pre nup, they should be binding, and they should cover everything from assets pre and post marriage to alimony and child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/21 07:59 PM
3

If one spouse wants to stay home to take care of children, reflect that in the pre nup you sign. For example, if both spouses agree that one of them should stay home and take care of the children, then they could add child support and alimony into the pre nup in the case of a divorce. A required pre nup just means that both people know exactly what they're agreeing to, not that they are trying to hurt one another. But if someone is trying to hurt the other, a required pre nup would potentially e…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/21 09:04 AM
8

In a way it is less government because you're controlling what happens in the case of a divorce instead of a set of laws interpreted by a court. And you wouldn't necessarily need a lawyer. I know people who rent houses and they use standardized forms you can download on the internet. Few hundred bucks and you're good to go. Or you can take your chances and let the courts decide. Also, if you really don't like government, don't get married at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/21 01:08 AM
12

The solution is to make everyone sign a pre nup. This could cover all marital assets accumulated during a marriage, whether or not alimony would be appropriate, and how to handle child support/child care. People should know exactly what they are signing up for.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 11:03 PM
2

This is how it should be everywhere. If you're relationship isn't strong enough to withstand planning for the unfortunate scenario of divorce, it's not ready for marriage IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/21 07:00 PM
0

"So the .001% will used to prove the 99.99% wrong? That's your argument?" No, that's your strawman argument. I have made my point, you keep missing it. "Living together and having children makes you married in the eyes of the State." According to a 5 second google search, that's true in 8 states, which makes it untrue in 42. In the other 42 states you have to actually get married to be married. So when you tell someone that they don't have a choice but to be married by common law, you're wrong u…
/r/MensRights30/11/21 09:23 AM
0

"Plus we aren't getting legally married." -OP We aren't talking about marriage, we are talking about a couple who may have children someday. It's possible, and I have seen this happen, where a couple, with children, who aren't married separate and simply figures it out themselves instead of going through the court system.
/r/MensRights29/11/21 10:28 PM
0

"These matters ALWAYS end up in court." The fact that you're speaking in absolutes tells me that you're making an emotional argument here, and not a rational one.
/r/MensRights29/11/21 06:14 PM
16

I don't think you're getting downvoted because you're saying the wrong things, you're being downvoted because many men have experienced women saying something similar, only to find out later that they've changed her mind. The downvotes are a signal to other men not to trust someone because, "I'm not that type of woman." And for now, maybe you aren't, but people change, and in 5 or 10 years and after some kids, you might too. If you believe in it, get it in writing, but even then it may not be wo…
/r/MensRights29/11/21 10:14 AM
2

It can be their choice if they never take matters to court. But you are correct that if they take things to court even if she doesn't want anything they will award her shit.
/r/MensRights29/11/21 09:55 AM
39

I support my children by having equal custody, and even though I shoulder half of the labor and costs, I am still forced to pay child support. By the way, my ex wife has a master's degree in midwifery that she chooses not to use. She gets away with this because the federal government gives states funding based on how much money they collect through child support. If she were to make a similar amount of money as me, they wouldn't be able to collect money from me. If you were to allow people acros…
/r/MensRights27/11/21 02:04 PM
-2

I think about this a lot, and I have figured out a way that will probably get men to show up. Rig the system so that they will mostly win, like it is with women now. Basically speaking, if they get paid to show up, they'll show up. If they have to pay to show up, why bother?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/21 09:44 AM
1

If you marry someone who earns around the same, there will be no alimony, and there should be no complaint about taking back half the money. So, now I have even less options. How? How? I thought women’s value was in their youth? And certainly having custody of kids would lower her value in dating! Many men don’t want to date single mothers. While it is true that the majority of a woman's value is in her youth, speaking for myself, I would say a woman with the same amount of money and the same re…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 02:38 PM
1

I agree that two people who merge their lives usually get a better quality of life, but that's not what I am referencing. I believe that all the way from dating, to marriage, to divorce women have either innate or societal advantages. In dating, women have way more options than men. I think that is well established here. In marriage, women wield more power than men for several reasons. They are the recipients of half of everything accumulated during a marriage despite earning less, they receive …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 12:01 PM
3

Your whole premise is wrong. You're assuming you have to have sex with someone you aren't in to. Most women can extract resources from men whom they actually like.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/21 08:54 PM
2

Currently states get hundreds of millions of federal dollars to assist states with child support collections. By the way, states get that money partly based on how much child support is paid in total, which gives them an incentive to raise child support rates. Maybe if new laws were passed that money could go towards assisting low income parents in filing complaints against the another parent if they aren't holding up their end of the bargain.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/21 02:20 PM
2

I don't think what you're saying is counter to what I'm saying. All I am saying is if a child support situation goes to court, a man should be allowed to choose equal custody instead of having to pay child support. If he doesn't want to be with his kids he should have to pay. If he doesn't pay, that is illegal and his wages should be garnished.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/21 12:02 PM
1

That men don't get joint custody of their children simply because they don't ask. There are currently only 2 or 3 states where it's even possible to simply get joint custody for asking. And not only that, even if you do get joint custody, you will still have to pay child support in many cases. Plus, states get federal money based on how much child support they collect. The deck is stacked plain and simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 08:12 PM
1

Child support should only be paid to SAHP's for a shorter period of time when both parents choose equal custody. Something like 4 years maximum in order for the SAHP to be able to learn a skill and get a job, which would also be enough time for babies to be able to wean off breastfeeding and be potty trained so that they can go to daycare. Most cases could be much shorter since most women already know a skill, and most marriages last through the period of time that their children are babies. In …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 09:00 AM
5

Men shouldn't be entitled to a woman's body, but women shouldn't be entitled to a man's money. It's as easy as that. Change the laws and fix the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 07:18 PM
1

I didn't compare it to rape, you did. All I am saying that just like a woman has a right to her own body, which I totally agree with, a man should have a right to his own money.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 06:49 PM
2

No, forced to pay her.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 06:13 PM
1

Wow, TIL that 62% of abused women are also abusive. Yet another dirty little stat about women you'll never hear in the mainstream.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 11:11 AM
2

Which is the same as, she shouldn't have worn that dress.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 12:23 AM
3

Since you can't answer the question I assume that means you think women have a right to a man's money, which makes you, in my opinion, a hypocrite.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/21 10:12 PM
1

I'm a man who wants equality.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 05:47 PM
2

The government, via child support and alimony. If I no longer get the benefits of a marriage after divorce, why should I pay a woman alimony? If I am willing to be an equal parent, why should I be forced to pay child support?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 04:04 PM
1

What you're talking about might work, but it would be expensive. And not only that, I don't believe in alienating my kids from my ex wife. It's also not really a fix, it's moreso a way to get around our shitty system. I'm sorry that you had a parent who was cruel though.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 03:18 PM
1

I think it should go like this. You split up assets just like you would in a regular divorce, and then if one of the parents has been staying home, which would usually be the mom, they could receive child support for up to 3 or 4 years. This would give them time to learn a skill and transition from SAHP to a working parent. If they already know a skill, or if they are already working, or if the kids are older the amount of time could be less. The 3-4 years rule would also be good for new unmarri…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 02:35 PM
1

Yes, that's true
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 01:55 PM
1

Do you agree that women aren't entitled to a man's labor just like men aren't entitled to sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 01:54 PM
1

There are a couple things you could do. First of all people could work on their marriage to try and stay together, they could rent, or maybe they could drop the requirement that you have to have a three bedroom house for your kids. Dolly Parton lived in a one bedroom house and she had something like 11 siblings. I realize it's not ideal, but forcing the non custodial parent to pay child support actually makes the situation worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 01:49 PM
5

And you shouldn't be entitled to my labor. If we can agree on both of those things, we're cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 01:27 PM
6

Just for the record, if I am personally whining about female privilege, I am referring to the privilege of entitlement that women get from the government. Ethots don't bother me at all. If you're willing to sell sexuality and someone else is willing to buy it, everyone wins in my book.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 12:45 PM
3

No, I don't think men and women inherently have equal investment in a child. I am 100% on your side there. But I think over the medium term men absolutely can make up that difference. Most married men make that sacrifice though. They support their wives during the difficult periods. I don't think those men should be forced to make the same sacrifices post marriage, just like I don't think women should have to exclusively be caregivers after marriage. What happened to me was that my ex wife didn'…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 08:33 AM
2

It's not that 47 or 48 states don't allow joint custody, it's that they don't have a presumption of joint custody. So what that means is if I wanted joint custody and my soon to be ex wife wanted full custody, I would have to pay a lawyer possibly tens of thousands of dollars and spend possibly years to fight for it. On top of that, during the time when you're fighting, the judge usually makes you pay child support. I have a friend right now who pays $3,500 a month and has been for 3 years while…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 12:15 AM
3

It's not that 47 states don't allow joint custody, it's that 47 states don't have a presumption of joint custody. So what that means is if I wanted joint custody and my soon to be ex wife wanted full custody, I would have to pay a lawyer possibly tens of thousands of dollars and spend possibly years to fight for it. On top of that, during the time when you're fighting, the judge usually makes you pay child support. I have a friend right now who pays $3,500 a month and has been for 3 years while …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 12:11 AM
2

Well all I can say is that's wonderful and I wish you and your partner continued success!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 11:53 PM
3

Some people do it when they can both agree. But divorces are sometimes messy? What then? There are only two or three states where if both parents want custody they will automatically give them equal custody (as long as both parents are fit). So that means there are 47 states where you could be alienated from your kids just because you don't get along with your ex spouse. That's not right. And I wouldn't be against some exchange of money, or better yet, pay equal money into a common account that …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 11:40 PM
3

Well that's fine. And I have equal custody of my kids with my ex wife. The problem is she makes a living wage and I still have to pay her. And yes, when men fight for custody they get it more than women do. But I still don't think that proves any point. Men fight when they know they have a case. But let's say that your assumptions are correct. Why not just change the law to say that in every state if both parents want custody it is automatically granted, and if both parents have equal custody th…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 11:37 PM
1

I know first hand bro, I am in the single dads club.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 11:32 PM
5

There are only two states (Kentucky and Arkansas) that allow both parents to get equal custody if they ask for it. There might actually be a third, I think Utah? But anyway, that means there are 47 states where a parent can be alienated from their kids in order to justify giving money to the other parent. So if a father is advised by a lawyer that they can fight for equal custody, but it's going to cost $20,000 and they will probably lose, they will likely just give up. Which would skew the stat…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 11:29 PM
1

Yes, but there are only two states (Kentucky and Arkansas) that allow both parents to get equal custody if they ask for it. There might actually be a third, I think Utah? But anyway, that means there are 47 states where a parent can be alienated from their kids in order to justify giving money to the other parent. And I want to be able to pay child support to my children when they are with me, not have to pay their mom who spends money on God knows what.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 11:25 PM
10

Why can't men just be allowed to have their kids half of the time and not pay child support?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 09:33 PM
2

Befriending women has taught me a great deal about how to more successfully interact with women. They have helped me make dating profiles, deal with my abusive ex wife, get laid, and are easy to vent to. Unfortunately just like men in general, women have their blind spots, so their advice isn't always 100% sound. But still, overall women can be great resources.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 09:16 PM
1

Because through Title IV D of the social security act, states get federal funding based on how much child support they collect. The system is stacked against men. We literally are bribing states to fuck over dudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 08:51 PM
11

I don't care if a woman only sees me as a provider as long as I'm not forced to provide for her the same way she's not forced to fuck me. But unfortunately child support and alimony exist. 🤷🏻‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 08:31 AM
1

Because it probably cuts down on entitlement spending. That is my guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 11:34 AM
1

I am more curious as to what you think. You don't see how anyone can feel entitled to fucking a woman, and I 100% agree. Do you also agree that women aren't entitled to forced compensation from an ex spouse? "There is no condition under which a woman is entitled to a man's time, money, and resources." I feel like alimony falls under this category. So out of curiosity, what is your position?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 12:13 AM
0

But what about after a marriage? In many cases you have to split up your assets 50/50, which I can understand the fairness in that, but in addition to that you may be forced to pay alimony. If I am not longer in a relationship with someone, why should I have to give them anything beyond that point if they don't offer me any benefits beyond that point?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/21 10:12 PM
2

This is a great first step. As someone who has 50/50 and still pays almost full child support, I would like to see language which guarantees that if parents choose 50/50 custody there would little to no need for child support. Or possibly temporary child support so that a non working parent can find employment.
/r/MensRights13/09/21 09:08 AM
5

Women don't HAVE to stay home with their kids 99% of the time. Staying home with your children is a choice.
/r/MensRights29/08/21 12:45 AM
2

Serious question, does very skimpy underwear have a practical function? Some are so tiny it makes me wonder if it wouldn't just be easier to go commando.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 01:52 PM
2

Maybe you shouldn't take him literally.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/21 02:02 AM
5

/s
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/21 01:21 AM
3

Yes, he is definitely attracted to fat women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/21 01:19 AM
3

"Thank you so much for making this announcement. I never would have guessed that a man on reddit was not attracted to fat women unless he took the time to announce it." Your post is "most men are secretly attracted to fat women" and you are surprised that someone might anonymously come out and say that they aren't attracted to fat women? "so suddenly men understand how unwanted sexual attention can feel scary and uncomfortable?" No, this is you projecting your victimhood. "I don't believe this."…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/21 12:16 AM
3

I just want to start by saying that I am not attracted to fat women. Most men I know aren't attracted to fat women. I only know two guys who are in fact attracted to "thicker women." My friends aren't shy, and we don't get embarrassed around one another. I feel like the obsession with overweight women comes from the fact that they are the ones constantly hinting to us, liking our posts, and trying to match with us on dating apps. On top of that any man who has spent time dating online has been c…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 11:04 PM
3

"File for divorce, get custody, and live your life again." If only it were that easy. I have a friend whose wife cheated and he has been paying $5,500 a month in child support while their divorce has been ongoing for 3 years. I hear what you are saying, but it's a lot easier on paper than in real life. The family courts are a fucking joke.
/r/MensRights01/08/21 05:53 PM
5

In my own personal experience, my ex wife who had more education and earning potential than me, quit once we had kids. She didn't quit because she had to, as is often what is portrayed, but she quit because she wanted to. When I had Covid I quarantined with my kids, and it was definitely something I could get used to for sure. I really think some women take time off to recover after pregnancy, and they just would rather not go back to work.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/21 12:18 PM
1

"The divorced woman is working, the meager amount of child support received isn't enough to support her and the children. As I said, she pays the bulk of the child's expenses. And these women complain all the time that the husband isn't as involved in the child care. If he took the children half the time this would reduce the financial burden on her." Yes, because the man doesn't have a choice in most cases. Are we on the same side that the laws need to be changed? Would you support a rebuttable…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 09:31 PM
1

Why do you think they wrote the law the way they did? I don't see women complaining about being forced to take care of kids while the husband "gets" to work, despite the huge financial hit. In fact, I would think a woman could force 50/50 custody if she wanted to. I think you overestimate how many women want to work. Although I would rather you are right, in my own anecdotal experience I known more women who preferred to stay at home. Should a father be punished for a mother's choice? Canada has…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 10:47 AM
3

I don't know if I understand it 100% correctly, but there is something called Social Security Title IV D. My understanding is that the federal government creates a pool of money in which states compete. The criteria in which each state competes are as follows. (A) The paternity establishment performance level. (B) The support order performance level. (C) The current payment performance level. (D) The arrearage payment performance level. (E) The cost–effectiveness performance level. I copied thes…
/r/MensRights16/07/21 07:54 AM
2

Yes, I want an equal partner. I had extensive conversations about this before, and during my marriage. I personally believe most people want an equal relationship. The problem can be more nuanced in that sometimes couples have different ideas of what 50/50 looks like in practice.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 12:31 AM
1

Then we agree to disagree.
/r/MensRights01/07/21 09:19 PM
-1

I second this statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 05:46 PM
1

100% agree with this assessment.
/r/MensRights30/06/21 07:48 PM
1

Women get to choose because they have a lot more responsibility that they didn't ask for. If men could just opt out women would effectively be the only ones responsible for contraception, childbirth, and abortion. All three of which have costs associated with them whether it be physical, emotional, or monetary. Men who don't want children could be completely reckless, and some would. I definitely see societal issues. Yes, it sucks. Dude, I live this shit every day. But I feel like your argument …
/r/MensRights30/06/21 07:47 PM
2

Thank you, I feel like I am taking a lot of heat for my position.
/r/MensRights30/06/21 05:46 PM
3

You don't have to give birth to have to deal with consequences of pregnancy. Abortions cost money, birth control costs money, and pregnancy costs money. Beyond that, birth control pills, the morning after pill, the abortion pill, and some IUD's are putting excess hormones/chemicals into a woman's body. An IUD, means having a procedure which I assume is uncomfortable. An abortion means having a procedure which I assume is uncomfortable and costs money. Having a child is definitely uncomfortable a…
/r/MensRights30/06/21 05:37 PM
3

That is why I am saying men should be able to choose 50/50 custody instead of having to pay support.
/r/MensRights30/06/21 04:41 PM
3

I never said they would be impregnated against their will. You're projecting.
/r/MensRights30/06/21 04:40 PM
5

I agree, but that doesn't mean other people won't feel differently and act differently.
/r/MensRights30/06/21 03:47 PM
1

I guess it varies per state whether or not you can have an abortion if you are married. I'll be honest, I don't know the right answers either, but I wish you the best of luck in your situation. Great talking to you.
/r/MensRights30/06/21 03:45 PM
0

What power and advantage?
/r/MensRights30/06/21 03:40 PM
2

It's also your choice whether or not to have unprotected sex. Are you saying if a woman wanted to have sex without a condom you couldn't say no?
/r/MensRights30/06/21 03:28 PM
2

An unlimited number of abortions at what financial, emotional, and physical cost? Morning after pills aren't 100% effective, and both morning after pills and birth control are full of hormones.
/r/MensRights30/06/21 03:27 PM
3

"Generally speaking men don't want to have small armies of children running around." Don't you think this is because of the legal, financial, and physical responsibilities of having children?
/r/MensRights30/06/21 03:25 PM
3

If a man really wants a child he should find someone to marry first before having children. As far as I know if a couple is married the woman can't legally have an abortion. But the laws need to be changed so that if they divorce the default custody is 50/50 with no exchange of child support. Men have every right to see their children as much as women. We seem to be behind the times on this issue. Also, if men could simply walk away as you suggest, more women would have abortions even if the men…
/r/MensRights30/06/21 03:22 PM
-7

And if men could simply walk away, they would have the power advantage without any responsibility. Which situation is more fair in your opinion?
/r/MensRights30/06/21 02:47 PM
-10

I am not arguing that you didn't get fucked over. I totally understand where you are coming from. What I am saying is if we give men a free pass to fuck without any repercussions society is going to have issues, and this debate is a complete non starter outside of MRA echo chambers.
/r/MensRights30/06/21 02:42 PM
-11

You couldn't provide your own condoms which you could have ensured weren't tampered with? When they insisted they were allergic to latex, you couldn't say, no thank you, I don't want to have sex? I sympathize with your situation. I have two kids that I pay child support for AND I have 50/50 custody. I also had a woman lie to me and say she was on birth control because of issues that wouldn't allow her to ever get pregnant. My issue is the idea of men being able to walk away with zero responsibil…
/r/MensRights30/06/21 02:33 PM
-11

Yes, they get to choose, but they still have the added responsibility of having to get an abortion, or having to go through the ordeal of childbirth.
/r/MensRights30/06/21 01:57 PM
-13

I see a lot of people on here advocate that men should be able to choose to walk away from a baby that they don't want because women have the right to choose. While I understand the frustration, in practice that would mean a man could have as much unprotected sex as he wanted, and as many babies as he wanted without consequences related to pregnancy. That creates an unfair scenario for women. IMO, a better solution would be to allow men to be equal parents as long as they are a responsible law a…
/r/MensRights30/06/21 01:26 PM
1

If I can get the same deal as a woman, I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 12:37 PM
2

Every guy is paying for sex. Keep in mind, the most expensive pussy is free pussy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 03:13 PM
14

I married an independent successful woman. She quit when we had kids. Kids and work were too stressful for her even though I always did my fair share. I also have 50/50 joint custody. They still take money from me for child support. We never had a joint account, it didn't matter, they took half anyway, plus alimony. On some level though, you could argue it is still my fault. I could have chosen not to get married or have kids, but rather than look at it that way I think it makes more sense to ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 10:05 PM
19

Currently there are only two states, Arkansas and Kentucky, that have a presumption that 50/50 custody is in the "best interests of the child." It should be every state, and, every state should allow the parents who choose 50/50 to let their care count as their child support, or at least get a heavy discount. Recently I have seen a lot of women make posts claiming that the bias in family courts is just men complaining. These posts, get a lot of upvotes too, it's really frustrating.
/r/MensRights25/06/21 10:35 AM
7

I looked a little more closely at one of the surveys and the jobs they counted were things like, child care, dishes, laundry, cooking, and sweeping. But it ignored things like, lawn care, shoveling snow, home maintenance, and vehicle maintenance. It doesn't exactly get the entire picture. We should really have a stickied thread with a list of studies and issues we find in them. I see too many problematic studies that are used as "proof" of advantages for men disadvantages for women. If we don't …
/r/MensRights24/06/21 02:26 PM
1

I agree, give mom a break so that she can get a good job to support herself.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 01:15 PM
2

I wouldn't have an issue with a system that said, if a parent can't be with their children for whatever reason for more than 2 hours, they have to offer the children to the other parent at a cost of $15 per hour per child.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 12:55 PM
4

Currently there are only two states where the default custody is 50/50 custody. Currently there are no states where 50/50 custody automatically means no exchange of child support. You can't say that men don't want custody because of these two variables. I personally believe men don't want custody of their kids because of the way they are marginalized. This is easily testable. All we would have to do is rewrite the laws allowing men to automatically have 50/50 custody if they want it, and allowin…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 08:45 AM
5

Child support makes a lot more sense when you think about it as a way to transfer money from a parent who is a responsible worker, like yourself, to a parent who is a bum, like your kid's mom. They say they are doing what is in the "best interests of the children," but really the state is trying to lower entitlements by making you responsible for all of her shitty choices, instead of them having to pay her directly.
/r/MensRights17/06/21 01:29 PM
28

Can we talk about how porn addiction has become the scapegoat of all male performance issues to some people on this sub? I would just like to throw together a hastily made list of possible other factors like, anxiety, depression, diet, stress and lack of sleep just to name a few.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/21 09:15 PM
2

My b. I read that as, "I don't think father's should have to be fiscally responsible."
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 04:21 AM
2

I understand that, but I am comparing an abortion to the hypothetical situation presented by OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 04:11 AM
3

No, compared to just being able to blow and go. An abortion doesn't sound like a fun time to me, and IMO would be a deterrent to an extent.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 03:49 AM
4

I would consider actually going through an abortion a repercussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 02:52 AM
1

I theory this means a man could get as many women pregnant as he wanted without repercussions. If I am making policy, this is a pretty big flaw. A better approach would be to allow men to be able to opt in to being a parent, meaning he could choose to be a 50/50 parent, and in exchange he wouldn't have to pay child support. Our wallet, our choice. It's possible something like this is what you meant by, not being fiscally responsible, but you didn't explicitly say it, so I am just throwing it out…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 01:26 AM
0

I can only speak for myself, but I don't have a problem with women being independent. What I have an issue with are these systems that have been created to give women an advantage. If I marry a woman I shouldn't have to pay alimony because she is used to a certain lifestyle. Also, if I have children with a woman, I should have the option to be an equal parent rather than have to pay her child support. I am sure there are more examples, but these are the ones that matter to me. Pull back the curt…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 09:22 AM
10

My ex wife who received a $45,000 divorce settlement, alimony, and child support despite the fact that we share equal time with our daughters, told me, "I want to show the girls I can do it on my own."
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 12:01 PM
1

Yes, I read the post, which is why I said what USUALLY happens is if a woman doesn't want the baby she has an abortion. Also, the reason surrogacy costs so much is because that type of pregnancy isn't normally covered under insurance. That would be like saying the cost of having a baby is expensive by looking at the pre insurance bill.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 02:20 PM
1

No, what usually happens is if a woman doesn't want a baby, she has an abortion. Her body, her choice. But the OP said that should be able to pay to have the embryo transfered to a surrogate, and if that happens, the woman should lose custody and have to pay child support for 18 years even if she wants joint custody.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 07:22 AM
3

No, because if the man chooses to keep the baby but the woman doesn't want the baby, she has an abortion.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 07:06 AM
-1

If the man chooses to keep the baby the woman should have to pay him child support for 18 years. Not because it is fair, but because that is basically the system we have in reverse.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 12:04 AM
2

Well before it was "way more" and now it is just "more." How far would you like to walk it back? And also, I wonder how often men don't choose 50/50 for the simple fact that they would still have to pay and be equal parents. You act like almost anyone can just choose 50/50 and not have to pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 01:15 PM
2

"Apparently it isn't "law" but it happens way more than what your various comments suggest." You're doing it again.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 01:04 PM
2

Why didn't you just give your examples instead of making up a completely untrue statement?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 12:37 PM
2

You literally said, "my state 50/50 no one pays child support." No offense, but this isn't just me responding to you, but anyone who might read these comments. Reddit is so ignorant to how lopsided the family court systems are. I didn't mean it as a personal attack.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 12:21 PM
1

I did two quick Google searches for Maryland and Pennsylvania. They both said there is no guarantee that if you have 50/50 custody that you wouldn't have to pay child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 12:13 PM
1

Ohio. Could I know what state you live in? Because to be honest, I don't think any state has a law that says if you have 50/50 you don't pay child support. Judges have discretion to make that call, but it's not a law anywhere as far as I know. And as far as joint custody goes, only 2 states have a presumption of joint custody.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 11:54 AM
1

No, we have 50/50. But they still pick a primary parent and award them the child support because of these laws.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 11:43 AM
1

I think signing a pre nup should be a requirement of marriage. You would prevent a lot of bad marriages from happening before they even start.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 10:14 AM
1

It's child support. I also had to pay her alimony. The federal government has a pool of money that the states compete for under Social Security Title IV D, but in order to get that money, they have to run their child support system a certain way. In order to get the maximum federal funding, they collect child support even in situations where it isn't necessary. They get away with this usually by giving custody to the mother under the guise that it's, "in the best interests of the child."
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 10:05 AM
2

I feel like they either want to meet you halfway or they don't. Best course of action for us is to either never get married or make them sign a pre nup.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 09:54 PM
7

Dude, we aren't the only ones. Almost every married man I know is in the same boat.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 09:14 PM
5

I don't think I would go that far, but I do think she is pretty enough that she got attention from other dudes. Which is fine, honestly. What isn't fine in my opinion, is a woman being able to use a man financially post divorce, so that she can monkey branch. The family courts allow for this.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 09:13 PM
8

Oh yeah, I definitely felt pressure to marry her. We were together for 8 years. There were a lot of classic red flags that would be obvious, but I was naive, and this was pre Reddit. She told me that Doctors told her it would be impossible to get pregnant due to ovarian cysts. Also she was on birth control, but she still got pregnant. I never put pressure on her to have an abortion. I remember her saying that "we have a problem," when she found out. I said, "we don't have a problem, we have a si…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 09:04 PM
19

I guess I never really thought about it. What is funny is that my married male friends from work are all having the same issues. And then I come here and read from women about what an awful deal marriage is for them. It blows my fuckin mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 08:41 PM
28

Death by 1000 cuts. I felt like I was a good husband, father and provider, but my ex kind of had a mentality like, well what else can you do for me. She couldn't work full time and be a mom, she was too stressed. Ok, I wanted her to be happy so she went to part time. Then she was stressed because the house wasn't remodeled, so we started remodeling the rooms. Then I would come home and the house was a disaster after she was home all day. So I started helping out after work. And then she was stre…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 08:10 PM
6

TIL a job is coercion.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 09:55 AM
8

The most expensive sex is free.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 12:50 AM
1

Fair point
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/21 04:28 PM
8

Men are labeled as studs because getting a woman as a man requires effort and skill 9 times out of 10, whereas getting a man to sleep with a woman requires making a tinder account and opening your legs. It is the asymmetry of the different gendered dating experiences that those labels come from. It's like comparing a highschool participation trophy to an NBA title trophy. That's just how I see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/21 10:50 AM
1

Mexico City
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 10:09 PM
1

Why don't I date someone in my league or below? My alone time has value, so if I were to choose to settle down that person would have to be worth sacrificing my time. They don't necessarily have to be super hot, but looks are a factor for sure. Also, I can get laid pretty regularly from women in my league without commitment, not to mention enjoy a variety of women that way. As I get older dating has gotten way easier to be honest, and commitment is way less of a priority.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 09:19 PM
6

If you're wondering why the system is so unfair, states are incentivised by the federal government to have laws which maximize the amount of money going from 1 parent to another through title IV D of the social security act. How do states get ahold of that money? By christening one parent as the primary caregiver, and forcing the other parent to be an every other weekend visitor. The more money the state has to collect in child support, the more money they receive from the federal government. Th…
/r/PussyPassDenied18/05/21 04:48 PM
5

Not surprising a woman would have that attitude, they are more likely to benefit from a marriage/divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 09:35 PM
1

My theory is that after a divorce both the man and the woman have lost value in the dating market. A low value man can use commitment to raise his value. A low value woman can use sex without commitment to raise her value.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 01:25 AM
8

My crusade is the family court system. It seems to be turning a corner with the recent laws in Kentucky and Arkansas making them the only two states giving men an equal shot at 50/50 custody. But there is still a lot work to be done. Right now where I live I could get married, have children, be an awesome dad, and an amazing husband. That doesn't mean anything to the court. Your wife could still cheat, ask for a divorce, get the house, move in with the dude who slept with her, and you would stil…
/r/MensRights02/05/21 01:12 AM
2

Sure you won't die, but for me it doesn't take a lot of imagination to see that one group clearly has it better than the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 05:09 PM
3

So the rich guy says to the starving guy, "at least you don't waste any time going to bad restaurants."
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 04:56 PM
46

Being wanted and not finding anyone is better than not being wanted at all. End of story.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 10:53 AM
3

It could be because women are more likely to require commitment as a condition of a relationship. A divorced man's value < the value of a single man who never married, meaning he has less leverage to negotiate the conditions of a relationship with. Also a divorced woman's value is < the value of a single woman who never married, meaning she also has less leverage to negotiate commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 04:02 PM
2

It's not evil for women to consider the wealth and stability of their partner, but I also believe that if you separate from that person and you are equally responsible for ending the relationship, you shouldn't get to take those things with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 01:32 PM
14

The most expensive sex is free sex. -Old Dudes
/r/MensRights23/04/21 12:14 PM
7

Kentucky and Arkansas, two of the most conservative states in the nation, and the only two states that have a presumption of joint custody for fathers in family court. Maybe not enough to change your mind, but to add a data point.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/21 06:47 PM
1

I couldn't find any study that showed women lose on average two teeth per baby. I found an article that said women losing their teeth due to pregnancy could be an old wives tale, and is actually attributable to poor oral hygiene. I also googled, "does having a child shorten your lifespan," and found the results claimed that women who have children actually live longer by .32 years per child up to 14 children. If men go to court they should be presumed to get 50/50 custody, and if they choose equ…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/21 07:08 PM
1

"The existence of the child is the responsibility of both parents." What in the straw man? Have I implied that they aren't? All I am saying is that men should have some say in how they are responsible for their children, not be forced into position to make up for whatever the mom is unwilling to do. "She decides what happens in the body." I agree, and out of the body I should have the same rights as her, as long as I am willing to do my fair share. "Women lose about 2 years of life per child and…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/21 05:16 PM
1

I mean if she had choices, for example, to have an abortion or to continue working, but she chose not to do those things, she should have to live with the consequences. Not use the court system to bully the man into picking up the skack. Yes a man has a choice on whether or not to have sex or use birth control, but so did the woman, right? But beyond that he has no options other than to deal with the consequences of the woman's choices. That is where the system is unfair towards men. Obviously w…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/21 04:03 PM
1

Well I think both parents should be presumed to be good parents unless proven otherwise. And if they can't be proven to be unfit, they should be awarded 50/50 custody if they so choose. I have 50/50 custody and my kids are actually excelling in school, so I know first hand that it can provide plenty of consistency. Within the last year or two, 2 states have passed laws that 50/50 custody is now the presumed default custody. That is good news, but guys don't get a break on child support if they c…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/21 03:26 PM
1

I would love it if there was some sort of agreement that stated both parents agreed that one parent was going to be the SAHP. "Yes of course, the child exists, does it not? And quires support? Yes, and I feel that if I choose to care for that child 50% of the time I am supporting that child. Think about it, I am buying clothes for them to have at my house, providing them with food, transportation, shelter. Child support shouldn't be a luxury just so some parents can afford to stay home more. I c…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/21 02:17 PM
0

Most people make enough to more than cover daycare costs. I would argue women choose to be a stay at home mom due to a mixture of anxiety, convenience, and cost, not just cost alone. In my experience, and in the experience of many of my friends, women are the ones who push their husbands into staying home, not the other way around. My issue with that is men go along with it not because they don't want their wives to work, but because they are trying to make their wives happy. Should those guys b…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/21 01:52 PM
-1

Just because you are a mother doesn't mean you can't work. I was just talking to my buddy and he spends $3 an hour for daycare. $3! The catch is that they pay for 5 days a week whether they use it or not. I know plenty of couples with two working parents. He was also talking about how much better his child is at communication than his brother's kid, and he thinks it is because of the extra socialization. I don't think a lot of women want to admit it but they like staying home. In the vast majori…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/21 12:12 PM
3

So let me get this straight, men don't do enough to cultivate relationships which leaves them feeling isolated after a divorce. This is a problem that they created and because of this, they alone have to deal with it. However, women don't work as much and therefore don't make as much money. This is a problem caused by a woman's choices, and after divorce, the man has to deal with it. Got it. I can only give my own anecdotal account that post divorce I had support from family, friends, and cowork…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/21 10:31 AM
7

I think always having to initiate sex is almost as damaging as being turned down.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 08:46 PM
-2

The example given isn't the same as your car shopping example, and the motives of the customer in the original example aren't known, so it's impossible to say that it's male privilege. I think you're projecting here.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 12:17 PM
1

Gotcha. The only reason I brought it up is because I have had similar experiences at work. A female colleague and I would be sitting around waiting for something to do. To me, it seemed like if they had a shitty hard job, they would specifically ask me to do it, but for other jobs they would say, "hey, could one of you do X." That type of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 10:05 AM
0

You're assuming the motives of the customer were that they trusted you, a man to do the job more than the woman next to you. If that was their motive, then yes, that would be male privilege. However, if their motivation was to ask you because they thought it would be rude to make a woman do something when there is a man who could do it, that could actually be female privilege. We don't know their motive, so how can we say that what you experienced was male privilege? Edit: I would actually conte…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 09:52 AM
-2

But my point still stands.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 09:46 AM
2

Why do you assume the person at the bakery thought you were more knowledgeable? Maybe they thought it would be rude to make a woman do something if there was a man around to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 09:44 AM
7

"You don't see her as human." Could you be more dramatic?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 09:42 AM
3

I work for my own selfish gain. If the above premises were true, yes, at first glance the conclusion would logically follow. But I don't agree that they are true, maybe that is our issue.
/r/PussyPassDenied12/03/21 10:10 PM
6

No, I would play Rocket League all day. Would anyone work if they didn't have to? That's not practical. Eventually we would run out of resources, society would collapse, and we would be back to working to survive. I am curious what your point is though, proceed please.
/r/PussyPassDenied12/03/21 09:26 PM
6

I am not being forced to work. The pros outweigh the cons so I choose to work. It's that simple.
/r/PussyPassDenied12/03/21 08:43 PM
8

So looking up the definition of coercion... "The practice of persuading someone to do something by using force or threats." Paying someone to do something isn't forcing or threatening them. It sucks that she didn't want to it, but the reason she isn't getting any sympathy is because we've all done things we didn't want to for money. I'm not going to post on social media that I am being abused because my joints hurt after working a job I choose to go to every day.
/r/PussyPassDenied12/03/21 07:28 PM
11

By that definition, anyone who doesn't like their job, yet needs it to pay the bills, is being coerced. Also we don't know that "she had to."
/r/PussyPassDenied12/03/21 05:05 PM
5

I'd rather be with a somewhat underweight woman. Basically everyone gains weight over time. Starting at a lower weight means as you gain weight you'll stay attractive longer in my opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 11:26 AM
8

Imagine being cheated on by your partner, and suddenly you're getting divorced, having your kids taken away, losing half of your things, and having your income reduced all in one shot. Divorce laws are killing people.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/02/21 12:28 AM
3

Couldn't you say that about any entry level job?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 12:03 AM
1

Dad should be forced to pay child support for up to 4 years while maintaining 50/50 custody. This would allow the SAHM some time to transition to becoming a working parent. Or, consider this. Maybe he is so successful because she does the majority of the childcare. She could force him to take them 50% of the time, and use that to become a working mom. Maybe he can't take the kids more than weekends because he is too busy, she could use that as leverage to negotiate a better support payment.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 07:39 PM
1

I think you have opinions but not from experience, so you're making a lot of assumptions. And not only that, from a throwaway account. None of what you said is true from my experience. My ex has a good job, but I still pay support. I took 4 weeks unpaid time off with my first child, and 6 weeks unpaid time off with my second child. I have always been a good and present father, feeding, bathing, and reading to my kids, but I still pay support. I take my kids to doctor's appointments, gymnastics, …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 06:20 PM
2

Right, he is responsible for her, not just the children. This is the issue, in the age of equality, men are still majority responsible for women vs the other way around. What if she doesn't want to work because she enjoys being paid to stay at home. She is actually disincentivized to do better. This is why women make less money and are responsible for 60% of all spending. Also, she could lie and say she has a good job, or she could have a good job and quit. She could be emotionally abusive, or a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 11:13 AM
1

It sounds like they don't do anything. In my state, everything I have acquired pre marriage is already protected.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 09:29 PM
1

I know that is what they say it's about, but that's not really what it's about. Why is standard of living emphasized more than taking care a child's needs? Because standard of living allows them to build more fat into the payments. It's about keeping people, mostly women, off of government entitlements by making their ex pay for their poor choices. Imagine, as a politician, trying to change the law to be more fair and increasing entitlements, pissing off a majority of women, and having ads about…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 08:54 PM
2

If you have to pay 75% of your income to take care of your children, that is likely due to poor choices. Why should I have to pay someone because they never went to college. Or maybe they went to college and got a degree that isn't worth anything. Or maybe they wanted to be a stay at home mom. I am sympathetic to those cases, but it doesn't change the fact that I have way less control over another person's choices than they themselves do, yet I am still responsible for the consequences. If a wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 07:34 PM
1

I'm not saying she should, but at least she would know exactly what she is getting herself into. When I had children I thought if I was a good parent who wanted to take care of his kids I wouldn't be treated like stereotypical divorced dad's you hear about. Unfortunately many men don't realize there is nothing they can do to protect themselves until it's too late. Is english your primary language or not? I am just curious.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 06:03 PM
1

Yeah, unless you have a pre nup.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 05:49 PM
2

But if they are doing equal parenting, they would already be splitting costs 50/50. So if a man makes more money than his ex and has equal parenting time, responsibilities, and costs. Then on top of that he has to pay support to his ex. That's an unfair system.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 05:48 PM
1

Sorry, but I don't understand what you are talking about. "Because it's family property now." Can you add some context to that?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 04:57 PM
0

Why would I give 50% of what I own? There are pre nups for that. Surrogacy includes a lot of costs like fertility treatments, and I suspect, extra insurance or medical costs that wouldn't exist in the case of a normal pregnancy, so even though it's expensive, it wouldn't be that expensive. Missed career opportunities during maternity leave is another one. I took 4 weeks unpaid and 6 weeks unpaid with my two children. I don't have an issue compensating my ex for her time off work. I think they sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 04:50 PM
1

Now you're talking sense. I would take that deal if it had been offered to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 04:28 PM
1

Do the men who get joint custody still have to pay the woman child support even though they are doing an equal share of the work? And by the way, I have joint custody, so I understand what it means, it's not hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 04:18 PM
1

Should a man have to pay the mother if he chooses equal custody?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 04:16 PM
3

I bet they would if they could force their ex wives to pay them. It's not surprising that you would ignore that fact.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 02:07 PM
1

A man should have a right to support his children via equal custody before they force him to pay child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 01:01 PM
15

If women do better than men, maybe we should rethink laws that force men to pay women in divorce settlements twice as often as the other way around.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 12:11 PM
3

Holy straw man, Batman! No, I don't mean throw women and children onto the streets, just give men more options. Post divorce, as a man I should have the right of having 50/50 custody and if I exercise that right, I shouldn't have to pay child support. Of course, for stay at home mom's, there could still be some sort of temporary money exchange in order to give her time to get on her feet. It could work out well for the SAHP also. Let's say the man works a lot, but the woman likes the idea of bei…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 05:34 PM
1

I just look at it like this. Women can use sex to secure resources. If they are getting unearned resources post divorce, they are less likely to have to use sex to replenish those resources.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 04:45 PM
11

People are funny about that one for some reason. Don't get me wrong, prostitution doesn't replace intimacy, so it's not a 100% fix. But I think a lot of guys could loosen up a little by gaining some sexual experience, which might alleviate some social awkwardness.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 04:05 PM
8

Any time we can get a point across without sounding angry in my mind it's a win.
/r/MensRights23/01/21 03:42 PM
9

Legalize prostitution. Allow men more control of their money after divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 03:36 PM
10

The way I have always looked at it is, women are innocent until proven guilty, men are guilty until proven innocent.
/r/MensRights17/01/21 02:52 PM
1

Makes sense. Even after factoring in housework men work more hours. The trade off is that women have more free time than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 07:55 AM
0

Ok, regardless of the example of your family, there are still millions of people, who without supplemental income, would have to find some other way to be useful. Think of this on a more macro scale. In the case of women, since they are the subject of this reddit post, I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility to think that they would be more likely to find and hold onto a stable partner if they couldn't find a good enough job.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/21 09:33 PM
3

You forgot to mention unfair divorce and child support laws. And when that is added in, it's a lot more.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/21 08:59 PM
2

I emailed her once. No response. But I don't see the harm in advocating on Reddit. I mean, a lot of these people probably vote.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 07:53 PM
2

You do know that each state has different laws, right? So that's cool for Wilmington, but doesn't mean much for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 07:31 PM
2

Picking a custodial and non custodial parent is the issue. By giving one parent authority over the other is how we invite sexism into the family court system.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 06:50 PM
2

Thank you Judge Dredd
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 04:32 PM
2

I am not here to argue what the law says, because I believe the law itself is wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 04:28 PM
1

I'm not saying put children in foster care, I am saying each parent has an equal right to time with their children. And I am also saying that a parent who chooses time with their kids should get credit for that time.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 04:21 PM
0

Selfish is expecting someone else to pay you because you don't want to have to work. By choosing 50/50 you would be responsible for half of the costs of raising the children. That's not selfish, that's equal. I also think in certain cases the working parent could pay support for a pre determined amount of time to create a transition period for a non working parent after a divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 04:14 PM
1

Fair enough
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 03:53 PM
1

Having shared custody, in my opinion, should be considered payment.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 03:43 PM
2

I don't want to have to pay child support and alimony anymore. I'm not like the other dudes around here who want to constantly complain about your business. You can fuck Chad all day, just don't make me pay. P.S. I have 50/50 custody of my kids, so I don't want a bunch of comments about how I am trying to abandon them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 02:21 AM
2

Well, then your dad either needs to work more, or learn to live with less.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 04:02 PM
0

I'll set them up with extra time, and they can get busy working.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 10:16 AM
3

Touché
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 01:27 AM
15

I asked for 50/50 custody and got it. That's not the whole issue though. I still have to pay child support on top of having half of the responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 01:24 AM
3

Who said anything about hate? I don't hate anyone. But it's pretty clear who the system is set up to help, and that has caused me to feel animosity, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 01:22 AM
12

Fix the family court system. Allow me to choose 50/50 custody of my children instead of having to pay child support. I wouldn't be opposed to temporary support in certain cases, but it should be shorter than 18 years max. Maybe something like 4 years max. Fix divorce laws. No more, "used to a certain lifestyle," nonsense. Get rid of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 12:59 AM
1

I guess it's not bullshit then.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/21 12:37 AM
1

Or, just not getting married. That way if and when she starts acting like a bitch, we can just go our separate ways instead of having to split up assets and provide her with a "certain lifestyle." Now I don't even have to worry.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/21 12:11 PM
1

I have seen a few of his videos and he has only ever talked about his looks disparagingly.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/21 10:57 AM
9

Those statistics are ignored because the system is still unfair, so the point is kind of moot. I am divorced and I didn't want primary custody, I wanted equal custody, which is what I have. Unfortunately equal custody doesn't come with equal treatment under the law. Despite having 50/50 physical custody, I still pay full child support. So my ex wife has an incentive to be the primary parent whereas I don't. It's not hard to imagine that this will skew numbers. Men should be able to choose 50/50 …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/21 05:29 PM
2

I can't prove that men are more driven, but I would like to point out that if you look at top gamers in any game worldwide, they are all men.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/21 06:36 PM
2

Well the men mentioned are all entrepreneurs.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/21 06:28 PM
2

You're right, I should play russian roulette also, after all, there is only a 1 in 6 chance I will die./s There, I made a straw man argument against your straw man argument. Also, the only way 40% of women will out-earn me is if I go back to washing cars for a living.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/21 12:59 PM
2

Ok, so what? Let's say I take all the top reasons people get divorced, and try really hard to be great in all of those areas. There is no guarantee that my partner will do the same. The only way to make a marriage risk free is to marry someone who makes more than you, which is much easier for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/21 12:23 PM
2

In my scenario if you choose 50/50 custody, there would only be the possibility for temporary child support (up to 4 years) in extreme cases. During that 4 years, both parties would exercise their 50/50 custody. After that, as long as you choose 50/50 custody, no child support is exchanged. I agree with you on the prenup thing. Basically I just wish there was a way that I could be responsible just for me and my kids if things go south. The way it is now I am responsible for me, my kids, and ever…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/21 03:52 PM
1

I agree 100%. If taking care of the kids provides value to the working parent, they could always negotiate a monthly payment system based on what they think is fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 11:36 AM
1

No, the 4 years of support would come from the higher earning parent. And it would be 4 years only in the most extreme cases. For example if a mom has no job, no degree, and a newborn baby with a guy making good money. If two people with jobs get divorced, and the kids are 4 and 6. Or, if only one parent has a job, but the other parent just got money through divorce, maybe no support would need to change hands. Assuming 50/50 custody of course. The way it works where I live is my ex wife has a g…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 11:25 AM
3

A condition of marriage should be that both people agree on what happens in case they divorce. That way there are no surprises. In some cases I wouldn't be opposed to an amount that would allow the lesser earner to be able to live for 6 months to a year on their own. Nobody should be forced to stay in a bad marriage either. Child support should be based on how much time you have with your children, and if you choose 50/50 custody, which should be a parental right, there is no exchange of child s…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 10:01 AM
1

I don't dislike women at all, just all of the things I am forced to do on their behalf. Adjust a few laws and we're good.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 05:20 AM
5

I'm sure they'll still let you run the fryer.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 12:22 AM
1

Maybe it's what she expected because it's a man, and not a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 12:08 AM
5

Simpin ain't easy
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/20 03:13 PM
1

I'm not sure what the breakdown is. But the default should always be 50/50. According to the map provided on the site, 20 states have 50/50 custody. That's pretty close to the 35% number and could mean that in states that encourage equal custody it is often exercised. That doesn't mean other states don't encourage it at all, but there seems to be a ways to go on that front. I know where I live the only way I got equal custody was to give up on other shit. (Here is a bunch of extra opinion nobody…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/20 12:27 AM
1

The website custodyxchange.com did a study in 2018 and found that father's got equal custody about 35% of the time. Imagine being a guy, losing custody, and people just assume that you did something wrong. "The percentages in the study reflect cases in which both parents want custody and no extenuating circumstances exist." I don't think 50/50 is often the default. And again, even if these parents do get 50/50 custody, that doesn't guarantee them a reduced amount of child support. In my case, I …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 10:06 PM
1

Oh, I agree 100%. Relationships are messy, and let's be honest, not for everyone. He lost his kids in the sense that he gets to see them 1/5th of the time and also has to pay child support. For what? Something that was completely beyond his control. I think good men should be able to choose how they want to support their kids. Let them choose 50/50 custody if he wants instead of forcing him to pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 09:39 PM
1

I guess when my job forces me to work overtime that is forced incarceration.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 07:49 PM
1

I agree 100%! Mechanical, hurry up and get it over with sex is barely a step up from masturbation. I don't understand what would make that desirable. Woman shouldn't be threatened by prostitution.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 07:06 PM
2

By that definition, there is nothing consensual about work. I work because if I didn't, I would starve to death.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 06:55 PM
1

I hate my regular job.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 06:46 PM
1

My friend, (female) got custody of the kids. She told me that after her second child she simply lost attraction to her husband. And joint custody doesn't mean you don't still have to pay child support, even if you have equal custody and split everything equally.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 06:25 PM
1

I love you
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 04:12 PM
1

Yes, you clearly struggle with reading also.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 04:09 PM
1

It sounds like you struggle with reading too much into things.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 04:03 PM
1

I like that you take what I say and attach a bunch of extra onto it, and then debate with your version of how I said something. Let me know how that works out for you in your marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 03:57 PM
1

Not to mention, marriage credit for success justifies high divorce and child support payments.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 02:59 PM
0

I guess the reason there is snark is initially you were ignoring the point, and now you're shifting the goal posts and trying to act superior by making it seem like you have valuable advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 02:49 PM
1

I guess this is as close as you're going to get to grasping the point.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 01:41 PM
1

That's great, but whether you think it is easy or not, that doesn't mean that the way the law currently reads is fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 01:36 PM
1

Right, you have to protect yourself, whereas the other person is protected by default.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 01:24 PM
1

Because as the higher earner you have to do something extra in initiating the pre nup and hiring the lawyer which isn't free VS the other person who doesn't have to do anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 01:21 PM
0

Having to protect yourself could put you at a disadvantage. I don't know why you think it is an either or. The laws won't change for a few reasons. Lawyer groups have a vested interest in higher payouts. The more contentious the divorce the more money is in it for them. The state doesn't want to have to pay out welfare entitlements, they would rather have the ex in the hook for that responsibility. The federal government also gives states incentive money to craft divorce laws a certain way. And …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 01:16 PM
1

Yes, but a pre nup is still something extra that the higher earner has to initiate before a marriage, which still puts them at a disadvantage. They are also highly stigmatized. The lower earner risks nothing by doing nothing. This is why mandatory pre nups would be the most equal way to do things.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 01:03 PM
0

Right, but, "used to a certain lifestyle," is bullshit. I'm not arguing that it isn't the law, rather that the law itself is wrong. Women initiate most divorced and yet, men are responsible to maintain their lifestyle? Who is maintaining a man's lifestyle if he was used to having sex twice a week? And a pre nup still puts the higher earner at a disadvantage. The topic of a pre nup is very uncomfortable, and people don't get married thinking that divorce is something that will happen to them. The…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 12:51 PM
1

The outcome is the same if they both start off at the same salary and one of them ends up earning more. Courts will just say that the lesser earning partner helped the higher earner advance their career. Even though spouses are seen as equals through the eyes of the law, it doesn't mean that they are in fact equal, or put equal work into the relationship. Personally I think the law needs to change. Couples who want to get married need to negotiate terms in the case that they will get divorced on…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 12:36 PM
1

It's an extreme example, but I think it did a good job highlighting what he meant. If I make $100,000 and my ex made $50,000, essentially she earned $25,000 a year during the marriage. What if I made the extra money because I was willing to work harder or take on more stress, conversely, she prioritized a more flexible relaxed job. That doesn't get factored in during divorce. So she alone was able to enjoy the benefits of carefree job, whereas I have to share with her the benefits of a more dema…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/20 12:17 PM
1

IDK, but the biggest former slut I know was overweight, over 35, had a kid, and she still found a decent enough dude to settle down with. Even before him she would routinely talk to 5-10 guys at once. She bosses her current husband around and ended up having two more kids with him. Sometimes I think maybe it's just the area I live in.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/20 07:51 PM
8

Sure, just like if a man got a lot of sex, he probably doesn't pedestalize women. But if this analogy is about women and sex, some guys can't scratch that itch. Whether it be because they are awkward, or ugly, or out of shape. And so I would argue that someone without arms would pedestalize the arms of others. It used to be that only men could work and he would then exchange the fruits of that labor for care, affection, and sex from a woman. Then we allowed women into the workforce, which I agre…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 10:11 PM
8

That is like saying having an itch is voluntary.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 09:46 PM
8

Uh, no, it isn't voluntary.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 09:40 PM
12

Women have inherent sexual value that men will never be able to match. There is nothing to solve. Men have inherent physical abilities that women will never be able to match. But for some reason it is constantly brought up that this is unfair. If I am applying for a physical job against a weaker woman, we have to be seen as equals. Women get to keep their advantages, while men's advantages are hamstrung by society. This is the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/20 09:27 PM
8

Even if they don't get full custody, you still end up paying child support. I have 50/50 physical custody. Same responsibility, different title, forced to pay child support.
/r/AntiFeminists22/12/20 04:48 PM
3

The girls that I FWB with are never relationship worthy. And even when they are adamant about only being FWB's, they almost always want more. They start leaving shit at your house, then when you ask them to take it home they get upset and want to have a, "what are we," conversation. Plus making our schedules work means sometimes I go a month or more without getting laid, and there are risks with disease and shit. It turns into a bit of a grind. I'm sure it's easier for some guys. So yeah, I woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 04:20 PM
2

You don't even have to do housework. A woman who looks good, fucks twice a week on average, gives head, and does her own thing without causing a bunch of headaches would be perfect. It's really that simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/20 04:00 PM
5

Make an Onlyfans account as soon as I turned 18 in order to pay for college. Graduate without debt and immediately start investing since I am cash positive. Retire early.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/20 08:29 PM
0

The government artificially inflated her value. Do you think Besos would have paid her $36 billion if he wasn't forced? Not a chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/20 09:53 AM
24

Especially when youtube exists. My dryer broke and there was a guy who had repair videos of just my model.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/20 09:05 AM
6

It's not a bad faith conspiracy, you can look it up. I am fully behind child support, the problem is this isn't child support, it's more like a bitter ex spouse tax.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/20 02:02 PM
8

This is probably attributable to several factors. Declining SMV, urgency to have a child, and being more likely to lose their earned assets in divorce. The problem is as a man in my 30's I can fuck other 30 year olds with little effort. So unless I also really want kids, or need a partner for financial security, or want to limit myself to one wall smashed pussy for the rest of my life, I don't see the value in it for me. Which is why they are less likely to divorce, because what other options do…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/20 11:50 AM
14

Even if alimony isn't awarded directly that doesn't mean it's not used as a bargaining chip to get more money from someone. Child support isn't for the children. It was initially to keep women off of welfare, and has since evolved as a way for states to receive money from the federal government. Basically states are incentivized to make child support payments as high as possible, because for every dollar they collect, a percentage of that is matched by the federal government and given directly t…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/20 08:43 AM
1

That's already how I make a living
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/20 05:01 AM
2

I don't care what other people think and I would befriend people like me. I also wouldn't make a relationship a priority until I had my house in order so to speak. If you're a woman and you keep yourself in shape, a relationship wouldn't be hard to come by.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/20 07:12 PM
0

I'd be one of those chicks who sells their dirty underwear to strangers in order to pay for college. I'd graduate with no debt so once I got a job I would instantly be building equity, half of which I would invest, and he other half would go towards bills and savings.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/20 06:52 PM
3

In certain situations it makes sense for temporary support. If kids are under 4, maybe they have special needs, or a stay at home parent needs time to transition to becoming a working parent. But after that, parents like us shouldn't have to pay. It just incentivizes the bad choices of the other parent, and breeds laziness.
/r/MensRights06/11/20 03:05 PM
31

I did exactly this, and I was able to get 50/50 custody. Problem is, I still have to pay full child support. Just because you have joint physical custody doesn't mean you have legal custody of your children, so the child support is still awarded to the legal guardian. You would have more men who step up to the plate and be 50/50 parents if they weren't disincentivized to do so. I have also read that states get hundreds of millions of dollars each year through Social Security Title IV D based on …
/r/MensRights06/11/20 11:11 AM
2

Men will never win the argument that they should be allowed to just walk away. It's a non starter. Instead we should let men choose how they want take care of their children. Child support, or, equal parenting time. That at least gives us some measure of choice.
/r/MensRights01/11/20 10:19 PM
2

I want equality in the family court system.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/20 07:01 PM
3

Keep the legal rights, get rid of the divorce rape.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/20 10:07 AM
7

Nah, just because your dad's ex has it hard doesn't mean it's difficult in all cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/20 10:05 AM
5

People end their marriages on a whim all the time. Full stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/20 09:17 AM
7

50/50 custody should be a right, period.
/r/MensRights26/10/20 07:02 PM
2

So I should "listen to real women's stories in person." But "A lot of these so called facts are just from the male gaze." Shouldn't we listen to both sides equally? Your whole argument seems to be basically... women's opinions > men's opinions 1 both men's and women's issues can exist at the same time, and #2, I am open to the claims on the list, but I would just like to see something substantiating them. Basically what your argument boils down to is, "believe all women."
/r/MensRights25/10/20 05:34 PM
3

Yes, studies. For example, there was a study done that said something like 70% of men don't fight for custody of their children post divorce. I don't remember the number exactly. Many people interpreted this as, men don't get custody of their children because they don't want custody of their children. Sometimes studies like this make big headlines which shape people's opinions of an issue for a generation. But that study ignored some key factors. For example, the high cost of fighting for custod…
/r/MensRights25/10/20 04:40 PM
3

Can we get a 100 point list with sources for the claims please?
/r/MensRights25/10/20 09:39 AM
0

Why is it "so much more likely that an adult uses a teenager," when you also said, "for what else should they be in a relationship with +25 year olds" with regards to a younger person dating an older person for money and gifts? If a younger person pretends to like someone for money and gifts that is manipulative behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 09:32 PM
1

I understand what you are saying, and while it is probably true that an older person is more likely to manipulate a younger person, it's not true that is always the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 05:43 PM
3

This should really be common sense. I mean even if they didn't get banned who are you going to get on your side by calling people "fuckin whores?"
/r/MensRights21/10/20 04:53 PM
1

So a younger person can't say no to a relationship? What if they are in a relationship with an older person just for money or gifts? Is it manipulation by the older person to use resources to secure sex with the younger person, or is the younger person being manipulative by using sex to secure resources. It goes both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 04:43 PM
2

I think the younger person can also be manipulative in that type of relationship. I'll let you date me, but only if you take care of me sort of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 02:25 PM
1

I will join you
/r/MensRights20/10/20 07:40 AM
1

I don't know of anything, but I wish their was.
/r/MensRights20/10/20 07:34 AM
2

As a dude I fully support you. There is nothing wrong with getting yours. P.S. the bed sheets aren't ruined because of sex but all of that anal means shitting the bed once in a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/20 04:47 PM
1

Rocket League, an that's basically it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/20 01:48 PM
3

Sloppy poo
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 08:51 PM
1

Your mom was likely also getting money from your dad. So I don't blame him for doing less, because he was probably forced to do more financially. My parents are not divorced, I however am. I know I don't pay for a lot of things, but why should I, I have 50/50 custody and still have to pay child support. My ex wife got her master's degree post divorce, and was "too stressed" to work and quit. I carry more than 100% of the financial burden for my children while doing half of the work. This is the …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 04:17 PM
1

Look again at what I said. I said there shouldn't be any child support assuming both parents want equal custody. Equal custody means that each parent will provide their own food, shelter, clothing, transportation for the children. That is the support. Nobody is forcing a spouse to give up their career in order to have children. By the way, if they have a career, they likely get 12 weeks off paid, and with the help of a working partner, they can probably afford to get a babysitter for the times w…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 03:07 PM
2

I would agree with you if child support were in fact, child support. But what's in a name? The reality is that it's a way for the state to not have to pay entitlements to a person who has no skills other than to spread their legs or seed.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 02:26 PM
2

No, that is what child support is for, and just because alimony isn't directly paid out, that doesn't mean it isn't used as a bargaining chip in a divorce case to secure something else of value. I agree with temporary child support in some cases, but for the most part if a stay at home parent is doing something valuable the other parent would want to pay them anyway, there is no reason to force one parent to pay the other. This is assuming they both want equal custody. The way it works now is th…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 01:13 PM
3

I don't see women as property. In fact, my issue with women is that they CAN'T be independent. An example would be when a man and woman a woman divorce, the man usually has to pay the woman. I can understand splitting up assets, but why should he then be forced to pay her alimony? Why should a man be isolated from his children, just so the state can force him to pay child support? It's because women don't want to be independent. They want to be taken care of. It's the double standard of being th…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 11:52 AM
1

It's somewhere in Jabba the Hutt's mouth.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 12:59 AM
2

100% agree
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 12:38 AM
1

Seems like a pretty good day.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 12:33 AM
2

Now you're talking!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 12:21 AM
1

Jesus, it's worse than I thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 11:58 PM
3

I love that this post is two hours old and the only answers are non answers.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 11:45 PM
3

Ahh, I actually see your point.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 07:40 PM
1

"Men can cheat and leave their wives with without suffering any consequences." If a man can leave a woman without consequences, that means the woman wasn't providing anything of value. In the US, we actually impose negative consequences on most men if they choose to leave a woman. This is why women in the US or west are so overrated.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 07:33 PM
5

I think it's about 50/50 actually. And in either case, I don't think they liked a man having an opinion on the matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 06:28 PM
8

I would say you are more likely to get banned from a leftist sub than from a conservative one. I will give two personal examples. I was banned from r/feminism for defending legalized prostitution. Some of the comments were saying that women are coerced into becoming prostitutes because if they don't have sex, they won't have any money. My response was, any job that someone doesn't want to do could be framed as coercion. If you work at a gas station because it's the only way you will be able to p…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 06:25 PM
2

American women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/20 08:50 AM
3

They aren't rare in other countries.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/20 08:50 AM
3

You're making this an issue with semantics when you know exactly the underlying point he is trying to make, which in my opinion, is absolutely true.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/20 07:38 PM
2

Women are literally the majority in the US, 160 men for every 167 women. There are literally more scholarships specifically for women. In 2018 women earned literally 141 college degrees for every 100 degrees a man earned. Men are literally more likely to die at work. In 2017 4,761 men died vs 386 women. Women are literally 2x as likely to get custody of the children as a man. Women literally control more than 60% of all personal wealth. You, men are literally the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/20 07:12 PM
-2

It's not a patriarchal conspiracy that women work less. Women have easier lives because we have crossed over the line of equality (2nd wave feminism) and moved on to equity (3rd wave feminism). What economic power women lack isn't being earned, but given to them via special programs designed just to help women, spousal and child support, and ignoring women's innate sexual advantages over men. This makes women lazy. I saw a post in 2XChromosomes about a week ago where a woman complained she was o…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/20 05:43 PM
-2

Men earn more than women due to career choices and hours worked. Women have better work life balances. Nobody is forcing women into working less, but despite this, men still face over double the homelessness. Let's address something before it comes up. Women make less because after they have a child they are more likely to stay home. This is true, but what isn't true is that they are forced to stay home. If they had a worthwhile career and they actually wanted to work, they could do that. The re…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/20 04:33 PM
0

That's the popular narrative being pushed. I wonder why the homelessness rate is over twice as high for men VS women. Also, men die of suicide 3-5 times as often as women. The truth is women have more sexual power, and the economic power men have has been proven over and over to be the results of longer working hours and career choices. Women enjoy a better work life balance, and women can easily leverage their sexual power to have access to a man's money.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/20 04:20 PM
-4

I agree. The only difference is when a marriage ends, she gets half of the money while taking all of the beauty with her. This creates a power imbalance during a marriage, and results in a lot of guys getting told what to do. Hey guys out there, be careful.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/20 02:19 PM
3

With Trump's Supreme Court Nominee, it feels like women's right to choose is under threat. While some in here might celebrate that fact, personally I think that puts men in a tough spot. If women don't have the right to choose, men will never have the right to choose. What I mean by that is, men won't be able to choose custody instead of paying child support. Most of us don't have that choice anyway, but it's a more compelling argument to say, if women get a choice, so should a man. Maybe someon…
/r/MensRights01/10/20 11:56 PM
4

Fair point. Thank you for the perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/20 04:44 PM
-1

Not necessarily, they have a pill for that too.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/20 04:27 PM
3

It's not a hard problem to solve, just legalize and destigmatize prostitution. Problem solved. Oh, and you'll help close the wage gap too.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/20 04:18 PM
7

There are so many ways this can be avoided though, and in the off chance you do get pregnant, it can be terminated or given up for adoption. What choice do men have once a woman gets pregnant? None.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/20 04:13 PM
3

Sounds good to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/20 04:49 PM
2

If the cost of daycare is more than she makes, she didn't have a career in the first place. You can't say you gave up your career when you are the cashier at dollar general. Also, let's not pretend all women are making a sacrifice when many women prefer the slower, less stressful work life balance of being a mom. At the end of the day it's a woman's choice to be the stay at home parent first, and if they really wanted they could choose to work.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/20 11:00 PM
1

No, of course not, but the laws have been unfair since 1975, not the 90's. Giving harsher penalties for not paying doesn't prove anything to me in this case, because child support was already unfair creating the problem I was talking about in the first place. It does however highlight one of the main goals is to get women off of welfare. It's right on page one. Look, all I am trying to convey is the unequal treatment of men and women. Removing choices for men and forcing them to be a provider to…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/20 04:44 PM
1

Your example proved my point. Child support was enacted in order to get women off of the system, not to be fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/20 04:24 PM
4

40% of all states aim to give 50/50 custody by default, which means 60% of states don't. That is blatant inequality. Also 50/50 custody doesn't always mean you get a break in child support, I know because I am living this. Sprinkle in some more inequality. Let's not kid ourselves, it favors the primary caregiver because they tend to be the parent with lower earning potential. More child support means less taxpayer funded state entitlements. If you have 50/50 physical custody, what work is one pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/20 04:14 PM
1

Can you show me something to prove it is the actions of men in the past that caused laws to be that way? It is my understanding than men would be responsible to raise children after a certain age, something like 4. Again, if you changed the laws to be more fair, you would still be able to impose child support on men who don't want to be fathers. Also 50/50 custody doesn't necessarily have anything to do with child support payments, but it should. If men are doing exactly half of the work, and st…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/20 03:56 PM
2

Yes, I understand that. Do you know that even if you get 50/50 custody they can make you pay child support? Women and men are playing with different rules which is affecting their behavior. I would guess if women were forced to pay their ex's money and only allowed to see their kids a few times a month you would see a lot of them abandon their kids too.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/20 02:58 PM
2

An easy way to prove that would be to allow men to choose equal time with their children instead of having to pay child support without having to go to court. If you are correct, and you probably are in some cases, nothing would change. If I am correct, and I probably am in some cases, fathers would have more access to their kids. It's a win win. I wonder why they don't implement that. 🤔
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/20 01:52 PM
6

The majority of arrangements are decided out of court because court is expensive and the deck is stacked. It's like saying the majority of people give their money to criminals while ignoring the gun to their head. It's a bad faith argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/20 10:51 AM
1

Child support already goes above and beyond.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/20 10:48 AM
8

Why shouldn't he or anyone else be concerned with divorce rape? I'm a regular Joe and will have to pay over a quarter of a million dollars to my ex wife. Divorce rape is even worse for people with more limited means. And while we're at it, plenty of women are just plain duds. Marriage isn't something that necessarily gets better with age. Every day I was married was a little worse than the day before, every day I have been divorced has gotten a little better. That is my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/20 11:23 AM
1

Your dad sounds like my ex wife. 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 02:08 AM
1

I love that because it's possible a woman can be all of those things you automatically assume all women are all of those things and that all men need all of those things. In fact, most of your arguments are based on assumptions that aren't necessarily true, and yet you present them as facts.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 01:42 AM
1

You keep using the word sacrifice but many couples choose to have children and continue to work. It's not a sacrifice, it's a choice. And it's definitely not a sacrifice if someone is willing to spend $20,000 for a lawyer to protect their position as primary caretaker. It's a privilege that comes with control and a lot of free money to stay at home. Remember, I have 50/50 custody, I have a foot in both worlds, I know what it is like to take care of kids, and it's great. "Tell you what: rather th…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 01:12 AM
1

$430 plus public assistance.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 12:13 AM
1

The mom's who are living off the system. Which by the way is the real reason men have to pay child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 12:03 AM
1

"Not sure what you’re trying to prove about ‘not all states.’ It’s the rule in every state I’ve lived in; do you want there to be a national law mandating 50/50 custody for all states? It’s not the liberal states that will fight you on that, because we already have it." Have you lived in all 50 states? I think it should be a national law that men can't be discriminated against and we should be given the right to choose 50/50 custody instead of paying child support. Just the way you described it …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 12:02 AM
1

"No.. I think the welfare of the kid should be the guiding principle in making co-parenting policies." Me too. Funny how it's still ok to force a man to pay or go to jail, alienating them from their kids, but we can't force mom to get a job. "Dads are forced to take their kids for a weekend?" Some are isolated from their children, yes. "I just looked up the average child support payment in the US the other day, it's $430 a month which doesn't seem like much." I think that is per child. It adds u…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 10:54 PM
1

"The daycare industry makes no sense to me bc it is both prohibitively expensive to purchase, and not very profitable to run." There is an easy fix for this. I looked into starting a 24 hour daycare business. In my state, you can only allow 5 children per adult. I feel like you could safely double that. After all, schools have a much larger student to teacher ratio. "This is true but idk, i can't imagine they are doing it for funsies? What must the marriage be like if co-parenting and having les…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 09:12 PM
1

Oh, I see. Yeah, I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 08:31 PM
2

There is a reason I don't just marry one of my golf buddies. I'll give you a moment to think about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 08:26 PM
1

Ohio. In the great state of Ohio they recently changed the wording so that if you have your kids for 90 overnights a year, you can get a 10% discount on the amount of support you pay. So if you have your kids roughly 25% of the time, you pay 10% less. That's not exactly equality. Also, a judge can tell you to get bent and still pay full child support. So yeah, don't just assume that being a stand up parent comes with any legal benefits. At least, not in Ohio.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 08:21 PM
1

If it's your week, it is your responsibility. The other parent could help if you are on good terms. But if not, you still have a few options. Let's say you have a job that won't allow you to leave if your kid gets sick. One option is not to do 50/50 custody in the first place. In some cases, maybe the SAHP is worth the child support. Another option is to have someone that you trust on call like a friend or relative. This problem on average gets easier as the kids get older. In 7 years of co-pare…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 08:18 PM
1

Ah, so that was the disconnect. Unfortunately, not every place has caught up to that. cough USA cough
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 07:47 PM
1

The SAHP would get two years of full child support. So lets look at a marriage under this scenario. A couple is married for 10 years. They have a home, two cars, and some savings. Whatever is accrued during that time is split 50/50. So assuming there is some equity in their home or whatever, let's low ball and say they each walk away with $25,000 and a car. On top of that, in my state, the SAHP will receive alimony for 5 years, in addition to child support for two. If you work while you are supp…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 07:46 PM
1

What about my post makes you think I don't want kids. I have 50/50 custody. I want equal treatment under the law. Don't you?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 07:25 PM
1

And I agree that a woman incurs more responsibility by carrying a child. If you look at my comment history I usually make mention of having a system where women get two years of support while only having 50% of the responsibilities. This would do a few things. #1, 2 years would be a good amount of time for a trial period where the parents could work out the kinks. If one of the parents isn't serious, 2 years is a long time, one of the parents will make mistakes and they can reevaluate custody. T…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 07:23 PM
1

No, I really didn't. I thought like a lot of other people that guys end up paying child support because they don't want anything to do with their kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 07:13 PM
1

What I am advocating for is giving men an option to accept half of the responsibility instead of having to pay child support. Right now I have 50/50 custody and I still have to pay. I had to pay to fight for 50/50 custody, and I still have to pay child support for my ex wife with a job. I agree that if a man abandons his children he should have to pay, but we shouldn't punish the guys that want to be a part of their kids lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 07:11 PM
1

I have 50/50 custody, so I am not complaining about leaving them out to dry and getting stuck with costs. I am complaining about accepting responsibility and getting stuck with costs.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 06:58 PM
1

I have two kids and I took 4 weeks off for the first and 6 weeks off for the second. The only difference between me and my ex wife is she got paid for her time off, I didn't. Men are discriminated against right from the start. I actually recently saw someone on r/feminism post something about men not getting paid time off and that it was contributing to the fact that women end up as the stay at home parent. That post got close to zero likes and zero comments. Women don't seem too interested in f…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 06:57 PM
1

I love to be generous too, I just don't think I should be firced after the end of a relationship. And that's what marriage and kids do by default. Some will say sign a pre nup. Ask Dr. Dre how that's working out. I understand why you wouldn't want to give it up, it's a huge benefit to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 06:31 PM
1

Men have to trick women because there aren't enough women who are interested in casual relationships. If we do the right thing women push for commitment which leads to marriage, kids, and all of the issues we have been talking about. Get rid of all the perks of divorce and having kids for women and you will have more honest guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 06:08 PM
1

So let's just establish a few things. 50/50 is the assumption in many states. That means it's not the assumption in every state, and if we are talking about equality, it should be. Another point is that even if you have 50/50 custody, it doesn't negate child support. Again, if we are talking about equality, 50/50 custody means incurring nearly half of the costs by default. If I have my kids half of the time I am taking care of half of their housing, transportation, clothing, food, needs, etc. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 05:40 PM
1

She makes $60,000 (my guess) as a nurse. She still works part time but picks up overtime. It's easier for a woman to be choosy because women are bombarded with offers from guys. My female friends are getting 25 messages a day on online dating sites. I am getting around 2 per week. You have an advantage Another point, it's not super expensive to raise kids. The USDA does a study every 3 years on the costs of raising children. There is a lot of fat built into those numbers. For example, if I have …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 05:30 PM
1

Sure, but that doesn't make it ok. I have 50/50 custody which means I am incurring half the costs of raising my kids by default. On top of that the government comes up with some number that I need to pay for my kids, which is way more than they need because it's not based on needs. So not only am I doing half of the work, which should negate any support I have to pay, but I am also covering more than 100% of the costs she incurs.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 05:21 PM
3

I understood the point of your post, and I am building on that to make my own point. Eat a 🍪
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/09/20 05:14 PM
1

No, why?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 04:59 PM
1

I get it that kids needs don't go away. If men need to step up and help be parents, women need to step up and provide half of a child's needs financially. I'm not saying that if I lose my job I wouldn't still feed my children, I am saying I shouldn't also have to feed them when they are with their mom. That's how fucked the system is currently. Not only do I support their working mom, who has a master's degree, if I lose my job I am still expected to support her. I want you to put yourself in my…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 04:59 PM
6

The difference is unemployment checks only last for 6 months. I would gladly have given my ex 6 months instead of half of my shit, 5 years of alimony, and 16 years of child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 04:35 PM
4

I guess I am not so much arguing with you as I am just upset that in our current system we aren't allowed to discriminate against women, but we are actively discriminating against men in the family courts.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/09/20 04:33 PM
4

Good point, lol!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 04:31 PM
1

Yes I really have my kids half of the time. I make their next dictor appointment if they are with me when they have a scheduled checkup, plus I pay for their health insurance. Is knowing their vaccine schedule really that important? They have doctor and dentist appointments every 6 months. The doctors keep track of all of that. Yes I know teachers names, friends names and all of that. My kids are both in accelerated learning classes by the way. That's just me bragging for a second. The issue is …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 04:30 PM
1

IDK, but people on reddit believe that the system isn't set up that way. Maybe the media should talk less about the fictional wage gap and more about very real parenting discrimination.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 04:17 PM
1

I have 50/50 right now. Problem is, I have to pay. That's the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 03:51 PM
6

What if it was accepted that men in general were more productive workers. Should we be allowed to discriminate against hiring women the same way we discriminate against father's in family courts?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/09/20 03:49 PM
10

Well all men need to do is imagine how excited they would be to marry a woman who provides limited sexual benefits. Men marry for sex, women marry for money. The difference is, in divorce women get to keep half of the money and all of the sex. Think about that fellas, and stay safe out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 03:15 PM
2

It's right there in your answer. "Women who will LET THEM be dad's." Here is how you fix it in my opinion. Have a system that lets men be dads. If I have a child with someone allow me to choose 50/50 responsibility instead of forcing me to pay child support. Dad's get fucked because we have created a different set of rules for men and women, and it favors women. I have never seen women complain about the divorce laws the way they complain about the "wage gap." And yet, I see those laws as relate…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 03:09 PM
20

My friend's wife is a stay at home mom and every time he comes home from work it's like she hasn't done shit all day. But then she complains about how hard it is and at the same time complains about how he doesn't do enough around the house. I see the exact same complaints around here. The problem is that if my friend divorces his wife, he still has to work for her, but loses all of the sexual and what little household benefits she provides. Divorce laws are the issue. She doesn't acknowledge hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 02:54 PM
3

I had heard this is the case also. But once they have kids they suddenly make less. Women have made it out like once they have children they are forced back into the the role of homemaker, but I see it as women looking for an excuse out of the workforce into an easier life. Both can be true at the same time, but which is more true?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 02:43 PM
2

This is exactly right. And the facts are so obvious. It's up to us to push this narrative into the mainstream.
/r/TheRedPill07/09/20 04:40 PM
4

This isn't a singular conversation or discussion. This is a broad narrative that has been pushed for years unchecked, by traditional media. People's habits are changing. We are getting information in new ways. Podcasts, YouTube videos, and Reddit all play a part in shaping people's opinions. It's up to YouTubers, Podcasters, and Redditors to make sure that we provide the counter narrative.
/r/TheRedPill07/09/20 03:42 PM
87

It's amazing to me with everything going on with regards to BLM, how commentators come in and say, "the problem with the black community is the lack of fathers, black men need to step up." This narrative is coming from both the liberal and conservative sides. Hold the fuck up. How about we first hold men and women to the same parenting standards before we put all of the blame on men. Everyone is quick to blame a man for walking away but nobody wants to ask why. The conversation stops because whe…
/r/TheRedPill07/09/20 02:12 PM
1

Man, you're not kidding. That's an excellent point.
/r/MensRights06/09/20 05:02 PM
288

It's not a sign of positive change at all. It just goes to show how much evidence you need before the courts will consider a man as the custodial guardian. But to be honest, I don't want the courts to pick a winner and a loser parent at all. In your case it was appropriate, but I think the default should be equal parenting rights.
/r/MensRights06/09/20 09:56 AM
33

This. Just ask to see the inbox of one of your female friends dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/20 06:51 PM
9

Is there an organization that is fighting to bring equality to child support laws? I am on the verge of losing my job, when I do my child support will go into arrears even though my ex makes $70,000 a year and I have my kids half of the time. I am tired of seeing all the fucked up stories, I want to take action.
/r/MensRights02/09/20 06:00 PM
12

Good work, and thank you.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/08/20 10:16 PM
7

I am going to draw from my personal experience for this response. It might be true, but you have to factor in that almost everyone who goes into a child custody hearing is going to be advised by a lawyer. Most men aren't even going to fight for custody, not because they don't want it, but because they will be advised that it would be extremely costly and they are unlikely to win anyway. In the case of the men who do fight and win, I believe it is probably because their lawyers actually believe t…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/08/20 10:13 PM
1

Yes but pre nups require an extra uncomfortable step, whereas the benefits are built into the system for the lesser earner. So men are still at a disadvantage. I remember when I first started dating my future ex wife and she told me she wasn't a gold digger because she could make her own money. And now I laugh and I cry... I am giving a shit by shouldering my half of the responsibility. When my kids are with me they have plenty of food to eat and clothing to wear. I shouldn't have to pay their m…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/20 10:18 PM
1

The only way to legally have sex with a woman is for her to grant access. They have a monopoly which gives them power. So as an example, a woman can, and in the majority of cases do, leverage sex to marry a HVM. Once they get married she is entitled to half of what he makes even if she does nothing. This man now needs to make her happy or he risks losing half of what he has worked for and his access to sex. Not only that she may be entitled to child support and alimony, extending her benefits be…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/20 07:29 PM
-1

Men definitely harbor a lot of resentment towards women, but not simply because you possess the one thing we want most. Men's advantage of physicality has been slowly chipped away at by society, whereas a woman's advantage of sexuality is protected.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/20 08:31 PM
2

No, in fact I believe the opposite is starting to happen. I feel like the internet has provided a narrative counter to the long standing, one sided media narrative. I tried forming a group to actually try and make changes to the system, but nobody showed up. If we want real change we actually have to do more than talk. That is the next step.
/r/MensRights18/08/20 12:58 PM
6

I had a slightly different argument about this where I said that men should be able to choose 50/50 custody rather than having to pay child support. People, men and women, lose their minds over this. But I maintain that men should have a choice in how they support their children.
/r/MensRights16/08/20 08:00 PM
2

Sure, but what makes a man valuable to a woman is different than what makes a woman valuable to a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/20 12:16 AM
2

Are you saying this makes you valuable to a man, it valuable in general?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/20 11:48 PM
5

Infertile, that's a plus. 👍
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/20 11:47 PM
5

Ab-so-fucking-lutely! And all of these women would be free to close the wage gap by working outside of the house more. That's 2 birds with one stone right there. When is the RingosTurdFace youtube channel gonna be up and running?
/r/MensRights08/08/20 09:23 PM
6

Look, what the guy is saying isn't wrong, but are we going to ignore the elephant in the room? Guys don't stick around because if they do they get turned into wage slaves. How about we as men go after a system which forces parents to fight for custody, picks a winner (usually the mom), and awards them custody and child support.
/r/MensRights08/08/20 08:01 PM
1

Source?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/20 05:07 PM
11

A 15 minute rant destroyed in 5 words.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/20 08:46 PM
5

If she can be picky about a man's height, she shouldn't complain about men who are picky about a woman's age.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/20 08:41 PM
1

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/20 09:27 AM
3

I was going to make a post about how women use hypergamy to land a high value man, get pregnant, and leverage that to be a SAHM. Then they complain about an earnings gap. I think what both of us are realizing, and what society doesn't outwardly acknowledge or realize is that a woman's pu$$y gives her a certain level of intrinsic power/value.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/20 09:59 AM
3

If men want to take off they should have to pay child support. I 100% agree. But if they want 50/50 shared custody they shouldn't have to pay child support but for 2 years. It's as simple as that. If my incentive as a dad isn't monetary, we should take away that incentive for mom as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/20 08:41 PM
4

I agree 100% with what you said, but I feel like women are incentivized to do those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/20 07:53 PM
1

I'm a guy, so...
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/20 07:40 PM
10

Men should be incentivized to invest in their kids just like women. Allow men to choose two years of child support and 50/50 custody instead of having to pay 18 years of child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/20 04:57 PM
-32

The comment with the most upvotes. When men don't care that it happens to a woman, women don't care when it happens to a man. We have created our own double standard.
/r/PussyPassDenied27/07/20 03:09 PM
-57

Anyone on this sub celebrating Adele getting divorce raped is a hypocrite. Being against divorce rape means being against divorce rape, not making jokes when it happens to a woman.
/r/PussyPassDenied27/07/20 02:37 PM
1

"Yet we read over and over on this forum how men don't care about a woman's education or career, that those aren't the things that make her attractive. That men choose on the basis of an hourglass figure or a woman's agreeability and "submissiveness." And that may very well be the case ... but if it is, men should be prepared to live with the consequences of that choice. Also, it's sad that you see your wife working less and presumably spending more time parenting your kids as a bad thing! Bette…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 06:39 PM
1

If I take a lower paying job to spend more time with my children, my income will be imputed and I will owe the same amount of child support as I do now. My ex took a higher paying job, but didn't hold the job for long enough for them to impute her income. In my case her child support was high enough that it wasn't worth the extra money and stress to keep her higher paying job. So she then is able to force me to have to deal with the extra stress so she can enjoy less responsibility. "When you ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 04:35 PM
1

I love how you make it seem as if fathers can only survive if they have someone to dump their kids on. I have 50/50 custody and it has worked for 7 years without damaging my career. It's not rocket science. My ex wife was actually able to get a better job, but decided she didn't want to work so much. And that is the core of the issue for me. Why should I be forced subsidize her lifestyle? She isn't suffering the consequences of her decisions, I am. All I am saying is give men the option. If they…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 03:56 PM
1

But if men could choose 50/50 custody, they would be on the hook for those responsibilities half of the time. You know, the ones that hold mom's back. You are saying that alimony and child support laws reflect a disparity, but I say those laws help create that disparity. This reminds me of the meme of the kid with the boot on his head, and when zoomed out you realize he is the one who put it there.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 02:44 PM
1

If you read my previous comments you will see that I said men should be able to choose 50/50 custody instead of paying child support. Not 40/60, or 30/70. Kids would spend equal time with both parents. I also acknowledge that women bear a greater burden by the fact that they have to carry a child, and so if a man chooses 50/50 custody, they should still be forced to pay full child support for two years while exercising 50/50 custody. This would give the mom time to establish herself. It isn't a …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 01:29 PM
3

It's easily 1 in 2 or more for the online dating market after 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 09:34 AM
1

My ex wife worked up until she had our kids. Then she took 8 weeks of paid time off and went back to work. It didn't affect her job. I took 5 weeks unpaid for both of my kids with no issues. And look, if you have an actual career, they are more likely to accommodate you. Most people have a job, and while they may be less likely to accommodate you, I bet in 2 years you could find some similar shitty job, hence the two years of support. The biggest reason women take a hit to their career is they p…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 09:12 AM
3

Sure, but why have the extra step of having to impute income? Just bake it right into the system that a father who chooses 50/50 responsibility after 2 years won't have to pay child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/20 09:01 PM
4

I think it's hard to tell because the laws generally pick a winner and a loser. The loser usually ends up being the dad because he works, so he ends up paying up to 18 years of child support and losing custody of his kids regardless of how involved he is. A lot of men feel this system is unfair so they walk away which skews statistics and makes it seem like they don't want custody. A better system would allow good fathers to be able to choose 50/50 custody and set up a transitioning period for t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/20 08:51 PM
1

This is the only answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/20 11:50 AM
1

I don't have an issue with the destruction of the family as long as men have the same rights as women. A mom or dad should both be able to choose 50/50 custody in lieu of paying child support. It shouldn't be up to the courts to determine one parent is the caretaker and the other is the provider. In 2020 both parents can share both roles. Having said that, women should get some compensation for being the one who actually has to carry a baby for 9 months.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 03:51 PM
1

No, I don't typically use that type of language and if I did I don't think I would feel any differently about not wanting to continue a relationship after sleeping with someone. Do you feel like not getting a commitment after sex ruins lovemaking after the fact because you expect to get something in return? Essentially, sex isn't an equal transaction between a man and a woman, but something a woman gives a man in exchange for commitment?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 03:03 PM
2

"I made the case that even if betas weren't as sexually desired as Chad and got less frequent sex, they still got love, emotional support, affection, intimacy and children." Men get those things on the condition that they provide something. It is the "bux" in betabux. If you are a guy and you see yourself in this way, you won't feel like you are really being loved or cared for. It's the same as being with a prostitute minus the variety. She doesn't desire him as a person but as a person with res…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/20 03:03 PM
0

Based on what? Some of the best sex I've ever had has been with inexperienced women. Maybe you think she doesn't have experience because she doesn't like sex, but It could also be that she prefers a deeper emotional connection rather than a shallow physical connection, which might be why she is less likely to cheat in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/20 07:44 AM
24

According to the statistics provided the chance of her cheating is lower, and if a man marries her while she is still young he gets to enjoy her peak attractiveness. Sure she may see him as a blank check, but he is getting the highest value version of her in exchange for his resources.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/20 02:15 AM
1

I think you are exactly right. If a man cums in a woman he bears responsibility. But the way that responsibility is structured is unfair to men. Men should be able to choose 50/50 custody and 2 years of child support in lieu of having to pay 18 years of child support. The way child support fucks up is it puts men on the hook for a lot of bad decisions a woman makes. If you went to art college and got some useless degree making no money, why should I pay you more in child support? It's 2020, be r…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/20 01:04 AM
2

Are you saying because the law says blah blah blah, legally she is entitled to half? I think most people on this sub understand roughly what the law says, but we believe the law is wrong. Or maybe you are saying that you think she deserves half? I mean let's be honest with ourselves. Do we think this woman sat in a studio learning the intricacies of mixing sounds to come up with beats, or did she sit at home consuming resources while the maid did all the housework. I bet the latter is closer to …
/r/MensRights09/07/20 01:49 AM
17

Oh, my bad. But he was still making music before they were married. And even if she was with him back then I just don't see what entitles her to half.
/r/MensRights08/07/20 08:54 PM
2

She's 24, how did she help Dre become successful before she was born?
/r/MensRights08/07/20 08:49 PM
1

Someone once said that it helps if you imagine every person you are arguing with is a 13 year old. It actually works.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/20 08:46 PM
3

I agree that it isn't unusual for a woman to want things unequal in her favor.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/20 02:25 PM
3

It's partly on men and it's partly on people like you who think a dude is weird for not wanting to participate in an unequal friendship. How do you not see this?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/20 02:15 PM
2

But that goes both ways, I shouldn't have to invest more in her than she is in me, a friendship should be mutually beneficial. She wants me to go out of my way for her even though she is the one who reached out. I'm not mad that I'm not fucking her, you're projecting, it's just not worth it if I am not fucking her. She thinks it is worth it because all the attention from dudes has skewed her view of reality. A lot of women do this and think there is something special about them. But that attenti…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/20 02:04 PM
4

I love how me wanting to compromise on a location has turned into, me acting weird. And not only that you keep trying to attach a stupid label on me like, "orbiter." Why don't you stick to the argument? You literally asked, "what do you want from a friend where men say "ok sure" and women say, "nah dude sorry." I gave you an example. If that's not you and your guy friends, great. But there are a lot of women so used to special treatment that they don't bother with a situation if it is equal.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/20 01:34 PM
1

She's the orbiter by definition, and you're avoiding the question, which is fine. But it proves my point here, women want special treatment, and if they don't get it, as a man, you're not a friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/20 01:04 PM
0

Let me give you a scenario. You are being pursued by a low value guy in online dating, both of you have already talked about how you like to go Dutch on a first date, and he asks you to meet him in his town 25 minutes away. You come up with a compromise in your head which is that you will go out with him, but on the condition that he has to meet you in your town. He declines. Do you have the conversation with him? Here's why this scenario parallels the situation with the female that I described …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/20 12:16 PM
16

I dated this girl for a month about two years ago. Lately she has been having trouble with dating and she asked if we could hang out and talk about, "why guys are so confusing." I told her when I was free and asked her to meet me in my town as opposed to hers about a 25 minute drive away. She said, "oh, kinda thought you would meet me here." So she wants me, to drive to her so we can meet up and talk about her issues, but made it clear there will be no booty involved? Pass. That is one specific …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/20 10:35 AM
7

From the same company who brought us the famous toxic masculinity ad. Gillette and Old Spice are both owned by P&G.
/r/MensRights02/07/20 11:16 AM
3

The reasons you like a relationship are the reasons I don't. Yes there are financial advantages, but in my personal experience and also listening to stories of guys from work, much of the financial gain is spent trying to make their wives happy. The wife usually drives the newer car because she's afraid the old one might break down and strand her somewhere. She wants a bigger house in a nice school system, with a bigger yard which means more to maintain. More taxes too. Bigger closets mean more …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/20 12:35 PM
3

It's pretty simple, the benefits of being single outweigh a relationship, but I still need sex. I've been married and lost half of my shit. My question is, why the fuck would anyone do that?! You can be the perfect guy in a marriage and still lose. Meanwhile being single gets better every day. Over time you meet more single friends, you hang out, and form traditions. Sometimes those friends are women who get lonely, so you hang out, have sex, and they go home.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/20 10:44 AM
2

What does a woman graduating from college have to do with anything? I have two sisters who have graduated from college and they are both stay at home moms. Women do more housework because more often they choose the easier path of being a stay at home mom instead of using their degree to be equal breadwinners. My guess is a large portion of the complaining you see are people in a similar situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/20 01:49 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/UnpopularFacts/comments/ght5dj/teachers_mark_girls_higher_for_identical_work_to/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/20 08:25 AM
1

No, I don't feel guilty. What you're doing is confusing a belief that I have with me actively going out and oppressing women. That has never been me. I voted for Hillary, invested in AMD, and I also take good care of my girls. Do women have obstacles, sure. But some of them are made up, just like you are making me into an oppressor. IQ tests have been adjusted to show equality between the sexes, and schools actively discriminate against men, but we persevere anyway. Even in industries where wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/20 01:34 AM
4

For me it was my treatment in the family court system that brought me to the men's rights movement on Reddit. I thought it would be a good place to vent my frustrations. I am not Alt-Right, but center left. I have to say, you don't get much traction which can leave some people feeling angry. I'll give you an example. I always felt like an attentive and good father. I don't drink or smoke, I worked hard, and I participated in all of the duties of parenthood. I felt that I treated my now ex wife a…
/r/MensRights01/06/20 12:59 AM
6

I guess we know who the hot one is.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/20 08:28 PM
1

Equality of opportunity, not equality of outcomes.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/20 10:22 AM
1

You did a nice job explaining how things are, but that is the issue. "Don't marry a woman(man) who makes less than you do and/or have her(him) stop working to raise children." Even if we are married, what a person makes, and whether or not a person is a stay at home parent, is 100% under the control of said person. And yet, after the conclusion of the marriage, the working spouse is assumed responsible for the stay at home spouse's choices. It's 2020, nobody is forcing you, married or not, to st…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/20 08:08 PM
1

What never happens?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/20 11:14 AM
29

Then my work is already done. 👍
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/20 11:00 AM
52

Bitter divorced dad. 🙋‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/20 04:24 AM
6

Well statistically speaking, women are more of a liability if a marriage ends. For example, if I cheat and there is a divorce, I would more likely have to pay the women. But if she cheats and there is a divorce, oh wait, I still have to pay the woman. And sure, you could sign a pre nuptial agreement, but I don't trust that either. A co-worker of mine was talking about her pre nup and she said that her lawyer told her not to worry about it. He said if they ever get a divorce they will just argue …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/20 08:51 PM
2

Maybe I will, thanks brother.
/r/MensRights25/05/20 01:02 AM
7

My ex is a nurse also, but only worked part time. It's funny that they can force me to pay or go to jail, but they wouldn't force her to switch to full time. It varies depending on your state, county, and judge. I guess I drew the short straw.
/r/MensRights25/05/20 12:56 AM
5

IDK man, but if you think being a good dad matters to the law, think again. They will say what they are doing is in the best interest of the children, but really what they are doing is making sure you're paying her instead of joe taxpayer.
/r/MensRights25/05/20 12:42 AM
14

It's hard to say. You could probably do a rough estimate of what it will cost you. Remember, you're going into this thing presumably as the guilty party. Even if your crime is marrying someone who sucks value from you and your child's life, the repercussions will likely fall on you. I was able to get 50/50 custody, but I still pay full child support. All in all my freedom will end up costing me about $250,000 by the time my kids turn 18. Was it worth it though? Yeah. I come home to a clean, dram…
/r/MensRights25/05/20 12:15 AM
2

If I have my kids 50% of the time, I pay for half of everything including housing, transportation, food, clothing, and daycare by default. In addition to that, I pay their mother child support. The court awards her all of the child support because legally they "live" with her. So I don't get any credit. The few costs that she has, like school and the occasional medical copay, are probably less than a months worth of what I pay her for the whole year. Those costs could easily be covered by having…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/20 10:43 PM
1

Either one is correct. In my case, I have my kids 50/50. When they are with me I am financially responsible for their needs and when they are with their mom I am financially responsible for their needs. Men shouldn't be forced to bear the financial burden of children for 18 years. Instead we should be given the option of being an equal parent, and for that, we should be able to opt out of support after 2 years of mandatory support.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/20 08:31 PM
52

"I want to show the girls I can do it on my own." -My alimony and child support receiving ex wife.
/r/MensRights20/05/20 01:33 PM
1

I think that before two people get married they should be required to negotiate what the terms of their divorce would be.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/20 09:03 PM
2

Fo sho. You're alright stranger. 😎
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/20 12:12 AM
1

If they stay to take care of the child, but leave the mom, they still pay child support. That's the whole racket I am against. I agree with you that if a man leaves a woman and child behind to fend for themselves, he should pay child support. No question. But what if a man does his best to provide for his wife and kids and comes home to his wife in bed with their son's wrestling coach. I know a guy that this happened to. Should he be forced to pay 18 years of child support? I don't think so. Man…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/20 11:54 PM
1

Each parent would have to provide clothes, provisions, and child care while the child is with them. For common expenses like school, sports, or medical expenses, the parents could pay into a common account. Anything left over when they are 18 could be put towards college. Maybe they wouldn't stay an parent, but the point is that as the law stands currently, they rarely even get a chance. We should all get equal treatment under the law.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/20 11:07 PM
1

Men run off because having a baby is a virtual guarantee that they will be sentenced to 18 years of child support. Change the child support laws to give men and women equal access to children instead of having to pay and you won't have so many men, black or white, abandoning their children. Men get shafted, we shouldn't be forced without any wrongdoing to pay 18 years of very expensive child support for making the same choice as the women who will receive that support. It's unequal. Men who are …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/20 10:55 PM
1

No, I don't feel guilty. The premise of my original comment is a simple observable fact. Men are dominant in e-sports. Men dominate a lot of things. Admittedly some things, like venture capitalism or the education system, could have biases built into them which give advantages to either gender. That is completely debatable. The reason e-sports are so compelling to talk about is you can remove almost all bias. Women aren't banned from participating, the rules are the same for everyone, and you ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 02:26 PM
1

Good, that means they probably won't turn out like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 10:24 PM
1

I haven't told anyone that they are stupid. Women on the whole are very capable, it's just men are more capable and dominant.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 09:16 PM
3

meneither
/r/MensRights12/05/20 11:11 PM
8

I'm not salty because women don't need me. I'm salty because women don't need me, but I am still forced to pay money to a woman who "doesn't need me."
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/20 07:28 PM
3

Do you feel better?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/20 01:35 AM
3

I agree
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/20 01:34 AM
2

Why not change the law so men can choose 50% custody instead of paying child support, no matter the financial situation of the mother. That to me seems the most fair to both parties.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/20 12:26 AM
0

Well you didn't really refute any core points, you just dismissed them. Declaring victory against a Reddit stranger might make you feel better, but objective reality still stands.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/20 12:06 AM
1

What do you mean, no real evidence? Men are dominant pretty much everywhere you look. That's not "real" evidence?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/20 10:22 PM
2

I never said less intelligent, and I never called women stupid, you're projecting. I said I think women are inferior when it comes to thought competition, and that the cognitive autistic skills that men have serve them better in advancing careers. People think there is this vast patriarchal conspiracy holding women back. I don't, but if enough people believe this, they can justify discriminating against men.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/20 07:42 PM
2

No, I don't think VC's would back a company just because it was started by a woman. I think they back companies with the best ideas or products. Often those companies are founded by men, which is why there are non profit organizations out there that specifically back female companies. I don't think women are idiots, but most probably lack the autistic competitiveness to be able to compete with men. And yes, due to social pressure most of the largest companies do have schemes in place to increase…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/20 06:40 PM
2

The trend is irrelevant if it only exists artificially because we are trying to even outcomes. How many of those businesses will fail because they are funded, not based on the value of their ideas, but simply to push a gender narrative? I guess time will tell. But so far it seems like all of the most exciting start up companies of the last 30 years have been founded by men. Tesla, Reddit, Facebook, Twitter, Netflix, Amazon, Google... What do these businesses have in common? Or maybe you need to …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/20 06:11 PM
2

I gave you real evidence, but since it doesn't fit your narrative you have simply dismissed it as not real. Do yourself a favor and Google "grants for female startups," then try "grants for male startups." You know, since you love talking about solipsism.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/20 05:32 PM
2

What is the difference between autistically focusing on a silly task and autistically focusing on an important one? My point is, maybe that skill set gives men an advantage in the corporate world as well. I do agree that it takes time to correct course. But I bet if you looked at the amount of companies started in the last 20-30 years, during which time both genders have been given the same opportunities, you would find that the vast majority were started by men. Why? And because we support equa…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/20 04:25 PM
2

I'm glad you're keeping things light. But we don't have to resort to video game performance, we could resort almost any other metric and men are represented in higher numbers at the top. Who makes more money, who runs the world, who runs more companies? Men. The common refrain from women and feminism is that the top is full of men because of the patriarchy and systemic biases against women. But videogames and chess are competitive thought competitions with strict rules where anyone can perfect t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/20 02:27 PM
3

Yes. You and I both know that women enjoy games, and everyone knows women are inferior when it comes to physical competition, but it also seems like there is evidence that women are inferior at thought competition as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/20 12:52 PM
9

Many of these jobs, let's say software development, have only existed for a few years. I can't think of one software company that was started in someone's basement by a woman. How do you explain that?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/20 11:55 AM
8

Can I ask you a question? Why aren't there more women dominating e-sports? And when I say they aren't dominating, I mean they almost don't exist at the top. Is it lack of interest? Also, chess, a game that has been around for thousands of years has a women's only league. Why? Are these things I'll suited for the female brain? My only gripe about academia and IQ tests is that those activities can be reworked and adjusted until men and women have similar outcomes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/20 11:50 AM
1

Survey data is weak. The "unpaid labor" questions are narrow. The methods used to question people are usually flawed. Someone did a good write up about this on r/MensLib on ways these surveys do a shitty job of controlling for biases.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/20 06:33 AM
1

For what?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/20 06:39 PM
1

I know, I was just branching out to dudes in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/20 12:11 AM
1

Nobody should just get thrown into an 18 year child support sentence. Men should be allowed to be 50/50 coparents instead of having to pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/20 11:40 PM
1

At least they're all still funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/20 10:56 AM
2

Shit is about to go down.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/20 10:43 AM
1

You have to realize that at his age you are competing against all of the women he might fuck in his 20's. And also, let's say you had stuck it out with him, people are going to catch on that he was fucking a 16 year old. That makes people uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/20 01:30 PM
1

I met a woman from Colombia online, flew to Bogota by myself, and subsequently had the best week of my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/20 10:14 AM
12

All it takes for a man to shut up is the threat of losing half of everything he has ever worked for.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/20 09:59 AM
126

If you sincerely hate the opposite gender, then you are the source of your problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/20 11:57 AM
2

Yes, that is life. But you're saying because I make more I am responsible for her career choice, something I have zero control over? That is equality? And remember the amount paid isn't for the needs of the children, it's a lifestyle based amount. Plenty of room for mom to skim a little cream off of the top. Don't count it as income though, gotta keep up that wage gap myth. These laws exist because we allow them to exist. I would say the deadbeat Dad myth is persistent and most people are too ap…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/20 01:13 AM
3

No, that is what you are making it out to be. I am complaining about supporting a woman who makes $60,000 a year. I am complaining because I support them financially when they are with me which is already 50% of the time and therefore 50% of the financial burden, and then supporting them through the child support system when they are with her. She essentially escapes 100% of the financial responsibility. And then when someone questions this logic, the refrain is, why don't you want to support yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/20 10:27 PM
3

So it is my job to make her equal to me? She has more leisure time than I do, she should make me equal to her for that, as well as compensate me for the extra wear and tear on my body. Except, my job already does this, so instead of complicating it, just let me keep my money, and since I do half of the work raising the children, count that as my support for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/20 08:43 PM
0

That is a recurring theme I see on here. It's funny that you say it is for the child and not the mother. I have 50/50 physical custody, and yet we don't split the child support 50/50. I still pay her the full amount. I wish courts were as insistent as you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/20 07:49 PM
0

I would say innocent children suffer because there are selfish parents who drag their feet so they can get a paycheck without the pressures of work. If that is the will of both parents, fine. But what if dad works hard and comes home to his stay at home wife in bed with another man? Should he have to pay her support for 18 years and lose custody of his children? Where I live it doesn't negate payment if she gets married again, and if he loses his job he would go into arrears and possibly jail. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/20 07:29 PM
1

What you are saying about child support isn't true. Men should be able to choose time with their children instead of having to pay child support. Instead many men are forced to pay child support regardless of how much time they spend with their kids. Child support shouldn't last until a child is 18. It should be a two year stop gap measure to help the other parent get on their feet.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/20 07:00 PM
4

I don't know that it makes much sense now when it is increasingly hard to support a household on one income. Maybe when you could have a decent career with just a HS education. What really doesn't make sense is supporting two households with one income after a divorce. We really need to reshape people's expectations as to what happens after a marriage ends.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/20 08:03 PM
1

Are you saying that I should have to pay for someone for 4 years and in addition to that, I would also have to pay them child support?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/20 02:28 PM
1

Yes, I agree that if both parents decided that one parent should stay at home it is reasonable to support them in order to catch up, so to speak. Although I might quibble with you on an amount of time, I think ultimately we are on the same page.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/20 02:03 PM
2

Well as a man I should be able to choose 50/50 parenting instead of paying child support. Do you agree?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/20 01:50 PM
2

Sheeeit, sign me the fuck up.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/20 01:45 PM
2

That seems reasonable as long as the amount is reasonable. It can't be worse than what I am paying now.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/20 01:41 PM
2

I don't have a pre conceived notion of what you want based on what is law. I have been saying that for a while on PPD before ever seeing this post. That is my solution. What is yours?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/20 01:34 PM
3

Why not make it so that we give fathers a choice instead of just sticking them with the role of provider. So in the case of a divorce, a man (or a woman for that matter) can choose to have the role of the provider, paying support to the other parent while they mainly stay home to take care of the child. Or they can choose to shoulder 50% of the caregiving responsibility in lieu of child support. But since this doesn't take into account the sacrifice a woman makes with her body to carry a child, …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/20 01:14 PM
0

I think this is almost true, but misses the mark for me a little bit. When men have an advantage over women society tips the scales in favor of equal outcomes. When women have an advantage over men society prefers the equal opportunity approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/20 07:58 PM
1

Fact, I pay money each month to a single mother with a master's degree for doing the exact same thing as me. So from my point of view, a single mother is my biggest problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/20 02:41 PM
1

Preventing procreation at different stages is a right only afforded to women, not men. So men can still accidentally become fathers. Unless you know a way in which a man can force a woman to have an abortion. 🤷🏻‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/20 06:10 PM
1

Accidents happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/20 06:47 AM
2

This post is the most accurate thing I have ever read.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/20 06:11 PM
2

I would say you have three options. Security. Get with someone in your league early on. In this scenario you're giving up experience, both good and bad, with multiple people to build a secure relationship that hopefully will last into old age. Experience. Become self reliant and fuck as much as you want. Sounds easy, but you might lose the security of a partner, and maybe you would have to give up having kids. Both. But this is the riskiest one. Women are trading away their most valuable years, …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/20 11:03 PM
1

Where I live if you have 50/50 custody it doesn't negate child support. The law specifically states that if the non primary parent has the kids for 90 overnights a year, or roughly 25% of the time, they get a 10% discount. That's it. So not only do I do half of the work, I have half of the expenses by default, and I still pay out almost all of the support. So why not make it a guarantee that if a man or a woman asks for 50/50 custody they get it (unless they're abusive or something) and then the…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/20 08:35 AM
1

They have to pay what, and do what work? If you had a system that guaranteed 50/50 custody to both moms and dads if they ask for it, and when they do so they don't pay child support, you would have way less deadbeat dads. You already have both deadbeat dads and mom's, but way more deadbeat dads because of the difference in treatment between them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/20 06:28 AM
1

Sure, but they still are forced to pay child support. So they don't get the option to be equal parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/20 06:17 AM
7

Women have access to the exact same union jobs. Two weeks ago I watched a bunch of union welders working in 0 degree weather for 12 hours. I bet they were making good money with benefits, and none of them were female.
/r/MensRights29/02/20 06:30 AM
3

She was a woman, I checked.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/20 07:40 PM
4

Went to Colombia. The women were prettier, friendlier, and one of them even bought me a drink. Oh, and they were better dancers too.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/20 11:24 AM
1

By choice though.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/20 07:13 AM
3

I think you would see a sharp uptick in fathers if dad's had the option to be equal parents instead of being forced to see their kids every other weekend and pay child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/20 06:50 AM
1

But you consider it medium bad, would that be fair? And it sounds like you see the older man as the potential abuser. Is that right? If that is the case I totally disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/20 07:29 PM
3

I would say that men are the gatekeepers of commitment, but as soon as you get married the power dynamic shifts because in most cases women come out ahead in divorce. If you have kids it's even worse. Imagine controlling the pussy, and also the power to say if you don't do what I want you'll have to pay me for 18 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/20 07:14 PM
14

I would even go a step further and say that because pussy has power it can be used in abusive ways. But since there aren't any bruises, they get away with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/20 06:54 PM
1

Oh yeah, that is super messed up.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/20 06:48 PM
1

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/20 03:38 AM
46

Despite having my children 50% of the time I pay child support. So we have the same amount of responsibility and I pay her.
/r/MensRights15/02/20 06:28 AM
10

Man do I agree with you, but why are men guilty until proven innocent and women are innocent until proven guilty. Men should have a guaranteed right to joint custody, and in exercising that right, shouldn't have to pay 18 years of support.
/r/MensRights11/02/20 07:46 PM
-1

And they use that insecurity they have to cry "oppression." That's a man's status quo. 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/20 12:43 PM
2

I would prefer it. Women need to step up.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/20 02:57 AM
1

I love my kids. Does that count?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/20 01:09 AM
1

I am not going to try and oppose your view directly. In fact, I agree with it. But can we apply this logic to women who spread their legs and don't have a good enough job to support themselves? Example: two people have consensual sex who aren't married. A woman who works at McDonald's gets pregnant. Should a man be forced to pay her child support if he is willing to split custody 50/50? Should he be punished for her poor life choices if he is willing to do his equal share? The caveat would be th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/20 09:19 AM
1

Oh damn, I did miss your point, and it is a good one! Sorry, I'm one of those pieces of shit that just reads a title sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/20 08:55 PM
2

It is, you get half.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/20 07:56 PM
2

Then I am not paying someone who will inevitably just sit them in front of one of these.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/20 07:31 PM
1

Your comments come across as angry, so my assumption is that you are bitter about something. And I could understand paying child support for a reasonable amount of time until someone can get a job and establish themselves, but 18 years is too much. Oh, and my ex wife makes $70,000 a year. Hardly destitute. At this point I'm not making sure they have food on the table so much as I am funding Disney vacations.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 11:07 PM
2

I understand what you're saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 04:12 PM
2

Why should I pay anything if I am assuming an equal share of responsibility? That's equality. Right now we have a system where it takes only 1 person to call off a marriage for any reason they want, and that person can also receive 18 years of financial compensation? Sure we accept that system because it has been drilled into our heads that guys are cheating scumbags and they need to "step up," but when you have been through the system as I have things are much clearer. I could see some money in…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 04:08 PM
7

I assure you, I am bitter, but you come across as bitter too. Child support isn't about lifestyle or caring for kids. They just say that because it sounds good. It's about keeping people from receiving entitlements. Why should one person be responsible for two households? If you are having trouble, maybe you should only have visitation rights live until you find a way to support yourself. 🤔
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 03:53 PM
5

My kids aren't an "it." And my fundamental issue is how the laws are currently written. Why should they have the same lifestyle with HER as they do with me? I work a lot harder than she does. I want the same amount of days off as HER. If she wants the same lifestyle SHE should work for it. Instead SHE is gifted with with a better lifestyle AND more time to enjoy it. If you want everything to be equal, stay married.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 03:35 PM
6

No, it's well over $400. You're probably getting that number from someone who keeps posting that $400 is the average guys pay. The circumstances aren't clear, so if you talk to a lawyer they will just tell you what to expect by what the judges have done in the past. So you could be a good and dedicated father who always did the right thing and end up owing someone for 18 years just because she decided one day she didn't like you. And it's not like child support is an amount that just covers nece…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 03:30 PM
4

I understand how the law works in most places. My issue is that I also believe the law is fundamentally unfair and needs to be changed in most places. When I was married, both my ex and I worked. We shared responsibility equally. About 6 months after having our first child she was unhappy. She said work was too stressful and she wanted to cut back to part time. We didn't need her money, so I told her to do whatever made her happy. Of course it didn't make her happy and we still split. We decided…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 03:21 PM
6

It's great! My younger daughter is clingy, my older daughter pretends she could care less about everything. She still cares. I make them do boring stuff with me, like go to the grocery store after school. The oldest isn't allowed to take her phone. It gives them both a chance to decompress, and talk out their day. It is my favorite thing to do, and I tell them all the time. I make bad dad jokes, they roll their eyes. They use words like yeet, I roll my eyes. We have our things, like dance partie…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 03:01 PM
9

That's what equality looks like 👍
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 02:42 PM
5

Ohio. Since we finalized divorce, they have added language that says if if you have your kids for 90 overnights a year, which is roughly 25% of the year, you get a 10% discount on support owed. The problem is when they passed that law, they also raised what people owe. So it came out as a wash. At the very least, for 50% physical time, my payments should be 50%. But my ex wife is a career women who makes $70,000 a year. She doesn't need any support. Not only that, after we divorced she was able …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 02:35 PM
9

My child support payments are the same as if I was a completely absent father.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 02:25 PM
4

Yes I do. If you told me that you do the exact same job as a man and he gets paid more, then it would be like me saying, why does it matter what you get paid, doesn't the work, your craft, matter to you? Do you need society to care that you are a good worker? The problem is we have so many outlets speaking on and legitimizing women's issues, whether they are real or embellished, and nobody but Reddit giving a fuck about men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 02:23 PM
11

Still have to pay child support. Still get treated like an ATM despite half of the responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 02:06 PM
10

I meant that it doesn't matter to society. I am still treated as someone who is guilty of something for having become divorced. Even this post plays into that narrative. Why is it that fathers don't do x, y, and z? I did all of this things.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 01:53 PM
21

I am a father who spent 99.5% of my free time with my kids, changed diapers, fed bottles, read bedtime stories, and anything else you can think of associated with caring for one's children. In the end when I divorced it didn't matter. American society doesn't give special recognition to fathers who do everything right. After divorce it's back to women are the caretakers and men are the breadwinners as usual. Fathers in the United States have become a reflection of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/20 01:46 PM
2

I want the right to 50/50 custody of my kids and by exercising that right, I don't want to have to pay child support. I also think alimony should be abolished.
/r/MensRights05/02/20 02:36 PM
1

That's true, and since I have my kids 50% of the time I have a good idea of what that cost would be, and it's very reasonable. What I pay my ex isn't. And let me remind you that she only has them 15 days a month.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 10:19 PM
3

She makes $70,000 a year. She can't buy some chicken strips or a bowl of oatmeal?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 10:18 PM
1

Week on week off.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 06:43 PM
3

I would be on board with that idea. If the money is just for my children, great!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 06:27 PM
1

Sure, but even when I wasn't in the same school district I was able to get my kids to and from school. Here there is a rule that you can't move the kids more than a certain distance away without permission from the other parent. The point is, shouldn't parents have options instead of automatically treating one parent like an ATM?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 05:56 PM
1

Well if a guy doesn't want to be a dad, then charge him for child support it's that simple. But don't have a system that just says, because you knocked up some chick you now have to pay her for 18 years even if he wants to be with his kids. That's total crap.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 05:53 PM
2

Well rather than having big support payments and forcing guys to foot the bill, what is wrong with giving these guys the option to be with their children and actually parent them instead of treating them like an ATM. I don't mind if you want to be a stay at home parent, but I would rather someone pay me to stay at home with my kids too, the point is often guys don't get that option, and women often do by default.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 05:51 PM
2

Sure, but there is nothing that says she has to be out of the market. In many cases that is a choice. For example, my ex and I were able to take care of the children fine because both of our parents were full time babysitters for us. But she was unhappy working and decided to cut back her hours. When we divorced I asked the courts to force her to work full time. They wouldn't. And then she was able to go to school and get her master's degree. She ended up getting a way better job, but it was too…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 05:40 PM
1

There is a primary caretaker, but only because legally where I live there has to be. We do every other week. I have my own clothes that I buy for my kids. If they need to go to the doctors office I take them. Everything is split as evenly as possible. Since she is the primary parent, she also gets perks. The kids go to school where she lives, even if she moves. Not to mention the child support she receives.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 05:35 PM
2

I have half custody and still pay. That is my point. I'm 100% on board with what you're saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 04:57 PM
1

Well maybe more women would secure a good degree before having children. It still makes more sense to me than forcing me to pay for someone else's failure which I have no control over.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 04:56 PM
1

So it doesn't count that I have my kids 50% of the time. Apparently I don't truly care for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 04:55 PM
2

Oh sure, let me just drop $10,000-$20,000 on a maybe.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 04:12 PM
3

Maybe in your state that is true, but not in mine. And also, 50% custody doesn't negate having to pay child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 04:11 PM
3

But it isn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 03:36 PM
6

Whomever makes more money. But the problem with that is I make more money due to the choices I made. She makes less due to the choices she made. So I have to give her money so that she can feel more equal to me?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 02:37 PM
5

Child support doesn't cover those things now, so what would be the difference?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 02:29 PM
9

So set up a system where if someone is a stay at home parent they get 2 years of guaranteed support. Not a system where every guy who has a kid can be enrolled in 18 years of child support against their will.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 02:22 PM
9

I have joint 50/50 physical custody and I still pay child support. If joint custody meant no money for child support changed hands, then I would be 100% on board with what you are saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 02:20 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 02:16 PM
11

Men should be given the option to be able to exercise 50% physical custody in lieu of child support payments. If child support payments are so worthless as you say, that would actually be an upgrade for women, right? Of course there are stay at home mom's who can't just jump back into the workplace, for them there could be a grace period of 2 years where the man pays full support AND has 50% physical custody.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/20 02:05 PM
1

No
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/20 09:53 AM
11

Remember, it's not just Gillette. It's Old Spice, Tide, Crest, Febreeze, Swiffer, and many other common products you might not realize.
/r/MensRights27/01/20 09:50 AM
1

I don't care if people are on my side or not. I'd still rather be raped. At least rape is over in a matter of minutes. My check gets raped every two weeks.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/20 10:23 AM
1

Legalize prostitution. You're not forcing people to be intimate with those they don't desire, you're incentivising it!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/20 08:21 PM
1

I would rather have been raped.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/20 02:43 PM
1

So, if the guy didn't cause his own divorce it can be looked at like rape?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/20 01:49 PM
1

I agree if you beat your wife you're a scumbag, but what if you didn't? There are plenty of flawed yet decent human beings who are being taken advantage of by the system. Women get fucked over by men who usually end up breaking the law and bouncing. Men get fucked over when women follow the law.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/20 09:30 AM
1

Good for your cousin, I hope your aunt is doing better! 😊
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/20 09:42 PM
1

So what does feminism mean to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/20 06:55 PM
1

My ex and I had talks like these before we got married too. I married an RN, so I didn't think it would be too risky if things went south. I still have to pay child support, and still had to pay alimony. The thing is, you really don't know, until you know. One of my female friends told me that after her second son was born she had hormonal changes and she just wasn't attracted to her husband anymore. Now he pays child support through no failing of his own. I can understand if a guy is a scumbag …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/20 02:41 PM
0

Poppy, I really can't tell if you are being intentionally malicious or you legitimately can't comprehend what I am saying. You can have a pretty good idea of what the courts are going to do without actually having to go. People negotiate outside of court because court costs and lawyer fees are outrageously expensive. So if a person has a choice between losing custody and spending $15,000 in fees, or losing custody and spending $0 in fees, what would you choose? It doesn't mean they think either …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/20 02:06 PM
0

What does agreeing on something without court intervention have to do with things generally being fair. This is such a weak argument that has been pointed out to you numerous times. If I choose to have my arm broken it doesn't mean I think that is fair if my only other alternative is to get hit by a car.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/20 10:33 AM
2

Haha, nice!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/20 08:36 AM
1

It's funny how whenever a woman has a horror story about divorce and child support a man has to break the law, and whenever a man has a horror story about divorce and child support a woman follows the law. I'm sorry, it sounds like that guy was a real scumbag.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/20 08:33 AM
3

Nah, if you had kids you'd know it's not about money. That's just shit they say to justify the wealth transfer.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/20 01:15 AM
2

Why can't one house be vastly different than the other?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/20 12:58 AM
1

So if I have my kids 50% of the time, and I am housing them, feeding them, clothing them, and taking them back and forth to school, that should be my payment, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/20 12:56 AM
1

My ex didn't cheat, but if she had it wouldn't have mattered. The point is, divorce can be a pretty grim time for a dude. I know a guy who got divorced and his ex wife ended up marrying her lawyer. He pays her child support while they are building a brand new house together. This guy is a cop. Now imagine having a loaded gun on you at all times, dealing with people who might want to hurt you and tell me you wouldn't have an itch to pull the trigger either on them or yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/20 12:04 AM
2

Sure do
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 11:59 PM
0

It's like a part of me is healed after reading this. Thank you
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 11:58 PM
2

It's not just cheating. It's cheating, and then having to pay for a cheater's life after.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 09:38 PM
1

Oh, I am bitter, who wouldn't be? I pay my ex wife AND take care of my kids for half of the year. It's ironic that you accuse me of avoiding responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 08:56 PM
2

I understand what you're saying. But maybe if men had more options instead of simply being forced to pay or go to jail, more of them would stick around.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 07:11 PM
1

No you're right, I just want to complain and respond to 100 posts just to stir the pot.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 06:55 PM
0

It's hard to be sure because of the way the law is written. A lot of guys don't go after joint custody because they are still responsible financially. So not only do they have to spend a bunch of money in legal fees, they are still obligated to pay. I get a 10% discount for having my kids half of the time. It's a joke.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 06:27 PM
2

That's a rough road. I appreciate the kindness in your answer. Good luck to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 05:57 PM
2

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 05:54 PM
0

Cognitive dissonance is real.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 05:13 PM
13

I won't fight you on this because you are 100% right.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 05:02 PM
-2

Of course there worse offenses.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 05:00 PM
1

It doesn't though. In fact there are 5 states, if I remember correctly, where it has no bearing at all. In Ohio where I live I can get up to a 10% discount on my support payments based on my time with the kids. I have them 50% of the time. The math doesn't add up.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 04:58 PM
4

They are also a lot of the same people who are griping about equality all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 04:56 PM
-1

My ex was a registered nurse. I think the misconception I am trying to dispel is that only subservient women are awarded child support and alimony.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 04:36 PM
0

Well I have some good news for you...
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 04:08 PM
-7

Great
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 04:05 PM
1

Way more than $300 a month, and yes, she makes $70,000 a year.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 04:03 PM
-4

Well it should be all, not most who don't win divorce battles. But since we live in an age where women are out earning men when it comes to college degrees, maybe we should look at being a stay at home parent as a choice instead of a sacrifice. That way we aren't demanding that one parent pay for two households if they are willing to take on half of the responsibility of being a parent.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 04:02 PM
0

And would you be ok being forced to pay alimony and child support?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 04:00 PM
5

Sounds like you might have more issues than me, good luck! 😊
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 03:59 PM
1

What were the wrong reasons?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 03:26 PM
3

Did the men cheat, and then the women had to pay both child support and alimony, plus the fees of the man's lawyer?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 03:24 PM
1

Maybe $300 a month.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 03:22 PM
-1

And only one party gains in a marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 03:21 PM
1

Our locality has a law that says you cannot move more than 2 counties away. So let's say the lesser earning parent can choose which schools system the kids can go to. That would mean the higher earning parent would have the burden of providing transportation if they were in different school districts.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 03:04 PM
1

They were discussed. Any person can change their mind at any time, and I don't have an issue with that, until I am held to account for another person's actions.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 03:02 PM
25

I have joint custody but still have to pay child support. It might be joint custody, but it's still not equality.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 03:00 PM
1

They use best interests of the child as a cover to be able to do whatever they want. How is it in the best interests of the child to take them away from one parent and give full custody over to the other? Basically what it boils down to is they create two Stark choices. One person pays, and the other person works and it goes on that way until the kids are 18. Of course under those circumstances it would be hard to give custody to anyone other than the lesser earning parent. But what if they made…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 02:58 PM
0

Shouldn't that be the responsibility of the parent who has them the other half of the time? I get it, not everyone can get a divorce and land on their feet right away, but I also don't think it takes 18 years to find an acceptable job and start to transition on your own.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 02:46 PM
1

My ex wife begged me to be a stay at home mom, and I didn't like that idea, so she cut back her hours at work despite my protests. Yes usually couples discuss those things, but that decision can also be left completely up to one person. So when we got divorced I asked them to make her go back to working full time or impute her income as if she was working full time. Of course the courts refused. Do you know who else would love to have days off with the kids? Me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 02:42 PM
1

Yes, and having them 50% of the time means I am paying for just as much electricity, wifi, water, gasoline, food, and heat as their mom. So why should I pay her anything? The medical stuff could easily be handled by a common account for such unexpected necessary expenses.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 02:24 PM
1

I wouldn't mind paying for all of those things honestly. But it would be easy to establish an account where necessy expenses get split 50/50. My issue is paying someone to provide something for my kids that I can give directly to them myself. It's funny, something I have learned from going through the system is that they will assume that mom will spend everything she gets on the kids, but if I want a discount on what I pay, I have to go in with receipts in order to catch a break. Personally I th…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 02:23 PM
5

I still pay child support and I have my kids 50% of the time. In fact there are still several states that don't take into consideration at all whether or not someone spends time with their kids when considering child support. You could have your kids 100% of the time and still be expected to pay.
/r/MensRights23/01/20 02:13 PM
1

I appreciate your opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 01:29 PM
0

Why are you making it sound super dramatic? It's not like they go from my house to living in a homeless shelter every other week. I don't mind giving my kids a good life, but I should be able to give it directly to them instead of having to pay their mom to "give it to them."
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 01:28 PM
2

Well at least that is illegal and those men can be prosecuted and forced to pay arrears.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 01:25 PM
1

Kids aren't expensive though. If you look at how they calculate what a kid costs, they do it by comparing what people in certain income ranges spend. They don't just consider what kids need, but they take into account all of the wasteful practices of two income households. It's like if you made $100,000 and they said, well you need to buy your ex an equivalent car that other people making $100,000 a year would buy. Why should I be responsible for giving her a $41,000 SUV when a $10,000 used Hond…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 01:24 PM
3

And most women that want primary custody do it because they want child support checks🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 01:18 PM
1

But it is fair that they would experience two different lifestyles. Why wouldn't it be, one person works harder than the other. You know what else isn't fair? Being forced to put in extra hours to support two households instead of being able to stay home and spend time with your kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 01:17 PM
1

So what if their quality of life is worse with her, that is because of her choices. Want a better quality of life, make different choices. You know what else is a better quality of life? Being a stay at home parent instead of going to a job and messing up your joints for a living. Nobody has to take a career hit for the sake of the kids. There are plenty of services that will watch kids so that you can maintain a career.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 01:13 PM
2

They still get child support. Basically what I would advocate for is being able to choose 50/50 custody instead of being forced to pay child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 01:10 PM
3

So if he cheated and you got child support, at least you got something. If you cheated and he had to pay you, that's fucked up. I know men who have had this happen to them, that is my only point.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 01:05 PM
3

I have 50/50 custody and still pay child support. So not only do I pay for 100% of their needs, I am responsible for 50% of their care. That is unfair. I know one of the dudes better than the other, he fought hard and has to pay $5,500 a month! They were both cheated on, yet you victim blame.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 01:03 PM
-2

So we can agree that the law should be changed?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 01:00 PM
2

Can you show me in that article where it says both parents have the same right to 50/50 physical custody of their kids? Also, if they exercise that right do they have to still pay child support? Seems like still making parents pay support could be a low key way to deter them from access.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 12:59 PM
1

I'm saying the law shouldn't be biased against breadwinners. We both live in the same town, we both take them to appointments, and we both do an equal share of the work. Why would their lifestyle suffer, their mom makes $70,000 a year and only needs to take care of them 15 days a month.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 12:55 PM
3

Oh, and they also had to pay child support, alimony, lawyer fees for both sides, and lost custody of their kids? It's not just being cheated on, that is only part of the picture.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 12:48 PM
2

Your mom made more money because she either worked harder or she was able to acquire a more valuable skill. She shouldn't be responsible to make your dad whole based on his decisions, that is completely out of her control.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 12:47 PM
0

I don't mind that part, but I shouldn't be responsible for your lifestyle, and I shouldn't be responsible for 2 households if I am willing to step up and be an equal parent.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 12:42 PM
3

Does the 50/50 negate payment of child support though? That could be an important factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 12:41 PM
2

I'm not oblivious to how the law works currently, I am saying that they should change it to reflect modern times. My ex is a capable adult, who has the exact same amount of responsibility as me with regards to the kids. She, as well as every person who posts here, man or woman, has a reasonable opportunity to find a career and succeed. She chose differently and those choices should be her responsibility, not mine. There are plenty of households with two working parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 12:40 PM
2

So then set up a period of time where the roles can transition. Then the women can spend more time working, and the men can spend more time with the kids. It's one thing to work every day to support someone who is supporting you, and to come home and see your kids every day. It's another thing to work every day to support two households and be relegated to seeing your kids every other weekend. And being a stay at home mom isn't something you're forced to do, it's a choice and a bit of a privileg…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 12:31 PM
8

I agree, and that needs to change.
/r/MensRights23/01/20 12:26 PM
0

I know two people personally that his has happened to, and in a country of 300,000,000 people, I'm sure it happens every day.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 12:24 PM
5

I have 50/50 physical custody and I still pay child support to a woman who makes $70,000 a year.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 12:23 PM
3

Yes, but what you forget is that most agreements are settled before going to court to avoid high legal fees, not because the parties necessarily think the agreements are fair. Mostly men are systemically oppressed by the laws as they are written currently.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 12:22 PM
3

What do you mean, "those are things most men feel like they can't do?" Where did you pull that from? Keeping a schedule for my kids is easy, it's all captured in email traffic. My " nightmare" scenario is close to my actual scenario. I married a career women, took weeks of work off unpaid when my kids were born, changed diapers, fed bottles, and read bedtime stories. I won joint 50/50 custody and still had to pay alimony and still pay support, despite my ex making $70,000 a year currently. The w…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 12:20 PM
1

Age discrimination is illegal.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 12:11 PM
4

If that is the case, changing the law to say men and women have equal access to their children if they choose wouldn't really change anything. If I'm right, men who want to be with their kids would have more flexibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 12:06 PM
-3

If you took a dead relatives money and stuck it in a common asset, it becomes both of yours. It's that simple. If you choose to be a stay at home mom and you let your skills diminish to the point where you are unhirable that's your own fault. Being a stay at home mom is a perk IMO. Plus the two years of spousal maintenance would hopefully give a person time to polish up their old skill or learn a new one.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 11:54 AM
3

If that is the case, eff em right in the a for all I care.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 11:37 AM
0

I don't think you're being unreasonable, but I don't think it should last longer than 2 years if the working parent decides to exercise their right to 50% custody. But consider this, in that situation he would still lose half of his stuff due to a divorce, so she keeps half of whatever the accumulated together. Plus, in situations like that, if he chooses to take the kids 50% of the time it would free her time up to work outside of the home, or if he didn't she would still get full child support…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 11:36 AM
2

Then we should change the laws so that men have a right to equal access to their kids which they could choose instead of paying child support. Then we could test whether or not men want to be with their kids or if they aren't with their kids because of systemic oppression. Seems like based on what you say there is no harm.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 11:10 AM
2

Doesn't mean it doesn't happen to men a lot more often than women. It would be nice if people on here focused on things they could actually change, like laws, instead of things that can't change, like a woman's preference in men.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 11:06 AM
4

Are you saying it would never happen to you because you're a woman, or it doesn't happen at all? I agree that this is way less likely to happen to a woman. If it doesn't happen, why not change the laws to say men and women have an equal right to their children, and if the parent who normally would pay child support chooses to take care of their kid half the time, then they aren't obligated to pay monetary support? Seems like it wouldn't change much.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 11:04 AM
4

I work with two guys this has happened to.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 10:57 AM
10

Every man should have a right to 50% physical custody. If that was the law this man would be able to choose, pay support, or be a father. Why is nobody fighting for this? I have 50% physical custody and still pay full support. It's ridiculous!
/r/MensRights23/01/20 09:36 AM
77

Women are my kids opening the cupboard to reveal shelves full of food and complaining that there is nothing to eat.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/20 01:26 AM
1

When society sees women have a problem, we have a problem. When society sees men have a problem, they have a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/20 12:26 PM
3

If you're a stay at home parent in this day and age, you have 1-3 hours of house work a day. All of it can be accomplished while listening to a podcast, and half of it can be done while watching Netflix. People complain because they stretch 45 minutes worth of work over the course of an entire day and over time the accumulation of unfinished chores starts to look overwhelming. It's the same as fat people complaining about how hard it is to lose weight. It's not hard, but if you have neglected so…
/r/MensRights17/01/20 04:39 PM
0

My hope is that men come together to form a new narrative around child support. Support shouldn't just mean financial support. Men should fight for the right to have equal access to their children. If they are found to be fit and capable of being responsible for their children 50% of the time, then they shouldn't have to pay any child support. The only asterisk would be in a situation where a woman is a SAHM, you could have a man pay support for 2 years AND exercise his 50% physical custody righ…
/r/MensRights17/01/20 01:36 PM
1

That's true, and that is the thinking we need to change.
/r/MensRights17/01/20 01:25 PM
2

The only reason I can think of is in the event of divorce, they get half of everything accumulated during a marriage. So if I make $100,000 and they make $20,000, they just got a $40,000 a year raise for the duration of the marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/20 06:04 PM
-1

By being attractive and fun to be around.🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/20 04:22 PM
1

It's not the only benefit, but it's the only reason I would marry someone. All benefits other than sex I can either live without, or I can find them without risking half of my shit by just being friends. Yes, I was married before, and no it wasn't the only benefit. I think over time I would have gained a sense of loyalty and familiarity for her and the sex would have been less of a factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/20 04:18 PM
0

I agree that a woman's sexuality is highly priced in their youth, and I agree that women also trade a lot of the same things as men. To me, a woman trading her youth, beauty, and loyalty for a man's hard work and security is an even trade. In the beginning she is more valuable because of her sexuality, but as her looks fade and my money grows, I become more valuable and I reward her loyalty in the beginning with mine. My issue is that I am in my 30's and single. I take care of myself, and I make…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/20 03:50 PM
17

Because we are trading away money, time, security, variety, and freedom, while only getting access to sex in return. That sounds like a good deal in your 20's when women are also in their 20's and sex was new and exciting, but now I see so few women who are worth the trade off, and I swear they have become more demanding, not to mention, 1/3-1/2 are obese.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/20 09:23 AM
6

That gets you a pass for 2 years in my book.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/20 08:11 PM
8

I'm sorry your argument is so piss poor.😢
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/20 07:32 PM
6

So what point are you trying to make, that men have easy access to sex via prostitution but they still choose to get married? They don't have easy access to sex. Maybe you don't think the possibility of being arrested, spending the night in jail, having your picture on the internet for anyone to see, and having a criminal record are deterrents, but that is a minority opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/20 07:14 PM
6

I think you tried making a point, and it backfired. Where I am from they sell a paper at the gas station and there are pictures of both John's and Hookers who have been arrested. People pay money to see if they know anyone who has been arrested. It's a deterrent, as is having something like that on your record. And a quick Google search says that soliciting a prostitute can carry a maximum sentence of 1 year in jail and a $1,000 fine. I'm sure most people don't get that, but you get the idea. So…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/20 06:58 PM
3

You aren't a smart person, are you?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/20 06:44 PM
9

Except, they are, so...
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/20 06:15 PM
4

It would be if it weren't illegal.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/20 06:05 PM
8

I never said they didn't. Of course men let themselves go. For me, the difference is this, a guy is in a relationship for easy access to sex. Women already have easy access to sex, so their relationship motivation is skewed more towards security, both physically and monetarily.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/20 05:43 PM
6

Are you implying that your dad didn't bring anything to the relationship? He didn't work and support your mom? I know a lot of guys in dead marriages and they don't have sex because their wives have let themselves go, and when they get home from work it appears as though nothing has been done all day. There is another side to this story, and it's men who are frustrated. I think that there should be some expectation on both men and women to try to look good for one another at the very least.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/20 04:37 PM
0

That's for them to figure out, not for you to protect them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/20 04:23 PM
6

Take the money out of the equation and see if they still feel the same.
/r/MensRights12/01/20 12:40 PM
1

I don't see anything wrong. I also would add that if those people get divorced I don't think the woman should have to pay child support or alimony, just like I don't think man should. This is assuming they are willing to share custody equally. It's 2020 and there is enough opportunity for each of us to make our own way through life.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/20 08:31 PM
1

I hate that it is quarantined. I know that's not answering your actual question. I think they underestimate stability when calculating what is important to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/20 05:54 PM
5

Oh yeah, I read somewhere that one county in Ohio pays 1 billion in child support every year. The processing charge is 2%, so they are making $2,000,000 a year to have software automatically deduct money from my check. Also, when my alimony ran out, it didn't automatically stop taking the money out of my check. I called them to complain and they said any overpayment (as if this was my fault) would be repaid when I am done paying child support. So essentially they get to hold your money for 10 ye…
/r/MensRights09/01/20 10:36 AM
4

That's the thing, unless a woman fucks up, they can treat a man like an unlimited resource.
/r/MensRights06/01/20 04:06 PM
1

How much of that is favorable geography though?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/20 05:52 PM
2

I never said she wasn't accomplished, you changed the goalposts. My point was, she's WOTY because of her husband. So you've wasted your time copying and pasting because I'm not going to read it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/20 12:57 PM
2

Michelle Obama became most admired woman when? A) While Barack was a community organizer. B) After Barack became president of the US. Put on your thinking cap. If Barack was never president, none of us would know who Michelle is. Now I see why women are so lucky when choosing a man, it's the only way they can be somebody.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/20 05:19 AM
3

Feel free to warp things any way you want to make yourself feel better. 😘
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/20 04:42 AM
3

I actually like Michelle, but you're missing the point, these women are at the top for one reason, they sucked the right dick. There are a lot of accomplished women with impressive titles, I wonder why they aren't WOTY? 🤔
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/20 04:39 AM
0

Bitches love being the victim
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/20 04:24 AM
2

⬆️⬆️⬆️
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/20 04:15 AM
2

Hahaha, nooo!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/20 12:19 AM
6

$1,000,000,000 as soon as I marry and divorce Mackenzie Bezos.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/19 11:37 PM
5

Correct
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/19 11:33 PM
3

Ayyyy!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/19 11:28 PM
8

They are an inspiration to independent women everywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/19 11:22 PM
1

I have two daughters, this is what I teach them. If a boyfriend someday comes and asks me for their hand in marriage and my daughter in question doesn't have a skill or a job to fall back on, I'll say no.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/19 12:29 PM
3

A lot of people here won't admit it, but you are correct.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/19 12:25 PM
12

I don't have a bunch of studies to go off of, but from my own experience what you say is true, but misses the point. Before my ex and I were married we both had the same jobs we have now. Even before we married, she moved from an apartment paying rent, into my house where she lived rent free. When we divorced she got to keep half of everything we accumulated during our marriage, most of which she didn't earn, and she collected spousal support for 5 years. She gets child support for 16 years even…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/19 06:48 AM
20

Lose their financial benefits? It's almost 2020, why aren't women bringing their own financial benefits to the table? This is the real question.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/19 01:47 AM
2

Not to my ex, we share 50/50 physical custody, she is still able to keep a job making $70,000 a year, and I have to pay her full child support. Having a kid is probably the best financial move she has ever made.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/19 11:18 AM
12

Let's stop forcing fathers to be ATM machines and let them help raise their children instead of paying child support. I have my kids 50% of the time and I can still be forced to pay the same amount of child support as someone who doesn't see their children at all. So essentially the time I spend with my children is worthless according to the state. Of course men are committing suicide when that is the message we are sending them.
/r/MensRights28/12/19 11:01 AM
13

Absolutely. Last year or two years ago they passed a law that said if you have your kids 90 overnights, or about 25% of the time, you get a 10% discount. But they also raised the amount of support that you owe by 10%, so it was a wash basically.
/r/MensRights27/12/19 06:00 PM
64

My ex makes $70K and we share physical custody of our kids and they still make me pay "child" support.
/r/MensRights27/12/19 02:26 PM
3

I love successful women. My ex was a nurse who went on to get a master's degree in midwifery. She chose not to use her master's degree because that job was too stressful. Women have this idea that somehow their lives are harder than men's because of this constant victim narrative being pushed by the media. Despite her earning potential being higher than mine, I still have to pay her. And you constantly hear about the wage gap. If I pay her income because she makes less than me, but she makes les…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/19 04:04 AM
12

Absolutely. My ex wife was miserable during marriage despite going from living on her own in an apartment and having to pay her way, to living in a nice house and having no bills at all. She was always upset about something and it was my job to make her happy. You could say, well you shouldn't have gotten married, but we had a complicated situation and I wanted to do what was right. I really thought if I worked hard I could make her happy, but I could only make her happy until she wasn't, and an…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/19 08:16 PM
2

We have been divorced for about 6 1/2 years and in that time she has had two serious relationships fail on her. She's cute, which helps suck them in, but like you said, nothing makes her happy. It's one thing for her to be a 20 something with no kids and dating other 20 something's who still look at the world with rose colored glasses like I did, but now she's in her mid 30's, her looks are declining, she's got debt from getting her master's degree, she's got kids, and she's trying to win over d…
/r/MensRights22/12/19 01:20 AM
1

No, just one on accident, the other was planned. I was busy at work so I responded quickly. Even though she kinda sucked to be around, I wanted two kids. Marriage to me was forever, for better or worse, and I thought it was important to have them close in age. She was awful though. I mean every day she was upset about something and wouldn't talk to me. I felt animosity towards her because it felt like she didn't appreciate anything I did for her. For example, she lived in an apartment before mov…
/r/MensRights21/12/19 10:44 AM
1

We had kids by accident. She said she was on the pill. I honestly suspect she was lying.
/r/MensRights20/12/19 06:20 PM
2

She had just graduated to become a nurse when we met, and once we got married she didn't have to work full time so she was able to go to school online and stay home. So I supported her and instead of getting to reap the benefits I get to support her some more.
/r/MensRights20/12/19 02:12 PM
1

She wasn't "established" in that career, which is why they wouldn't force her to work. We were married for 5 years and had two kids. I always wanted her to work and go to school. As a family that just puts us in a good spot. She actually was the one who wanted to quit her job all together, but we divorced before that happened. And you'll notice that women will act like they are burdened by being SAHM's, but in my experience, my ex would have considered it a huge perk to be a SAHM. Shit, let me s…
/r/MensRights20/12/19 01:35 PM
2

This is exactly right. I would also like to add that child support is based on a USDA study every few years on what people spend raising their children. What people spend on their kids, and a child's needs are two different things. So why is a man forced to pay a woman for a child's wants as well as their needs, and then the mother isn't forced to disclose how she spends the money she gets. If I have my kids 50% of the time, which should be my right, that should be my share of the support, no mo…
/r/MensRights20/12/19 01:21 PM
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