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xButFirstCoffeex Archive

View 15 posts and 82 comments by xButFirstCoffeex on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
3339

NAH, SISxButFirstCoffeex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 11:32 PM
1195

LEVEL UPxButFirstCoffeex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 04:09 PM
1052

REMINDER 👑xButFirstCoffeex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 04:06 PM
808

#HeAin'tTheOne2021xButFirstCoffeex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 10:03 PM
419

THINGS SCROTES SAYxButFirstCoffeex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 08:43 PM
94

DISCUSSIONxButFirstCoffeex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 11:39 PM
88

SEEKING ADVICExButFirstCoffeex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 07:25 PM
75

THINGS SCROTES SAYxButFirstCoffeex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 08:36 PM
26

THINGS SCROTES SAYxButFirstCoffeex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 12:43 AM
6

THINGS SCROTES SAYxButFirstCoffeex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 06:00 AM
5

REMINDER 👑xButFirstCoffeex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 07:51 PM
2

THE AUDACITY OF SCROTESxButFirstCoffeex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 03:46 AM
1

F***BOY WARNINGxButFirstCoffeex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 04:42 AM
1

RED FLAG 🚨xButFirstCoffeex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 09:27 PM
1

THINGS SCROTES SAYxButFirstCoffeex/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 05:56 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

When he pretends to be a lib-feminist. I told a guy on a date about how I was a feminist, and when I explained my beliefs he said I was “super conservative and traditional” and the idea that a man should pay for a date is “backwards thinking”. He really asked “so you still believe women are property?” because I told him that I want a man who will pay for my dinner lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 11:11 PM
2

I told my partner the same about 4 weeks in (about 4-5 dates) when asked me to be his girlfriend. This was actually prefaced by me saying I tend to date someone for 3-4 months before I accept to be someone’s girlfriend. (That’s long for some people but I am a fan of taking things sloooow, and I also have to be sure they are interested in exclusivity). I told him I liked dating him and liked how things were going, but I didn’t feel comfortable being exclusive/his girlfriend just yet since I’m not…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 11:06 PM
45

Exactly. I think it’s the stupid idea thrown around in society, movies, TV shows, etc. that women can and should “fix broken men”. A man says “I just don’t believe in love/want a relationship”, and naive women think with a little effort on her part, he’s gonna change his mind and sweep them off their feet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 07:29 PM
15

I second this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 05:28 AM
5

My ex washed his face with antibacterial hand soap... on the days he forgot to shower the night before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 12:44 AM
30

Lied to myself for years saying I didn’t care about a man’s body being in shape.... face palm. I can finally admit to myself and others than I want a man who takes care of his body the same way I do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 12:09 AM
4

My sister in law uses a satin scarf thingy that she wraps around her pillowcase every night for her curly hair! I’m assuming because she changes her bedding every few months and the colors, so having the separate scarf makes it easy haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 07:30 AM
45

Someone else said it on another comment that if after an appropriate amount of time he gives you some generic excuse on why he won’t marry you, that is your cue to leave. Unfortunately, many men stay with women they don’t want to be with simply because they can ... and they know the woman won’t leave. As a woman, we need to watch for these red flags and leave as soon as we can if the man isn’t 100% committed to you and a future with you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 01:29 AM
79

I really hope so. 🙁 Or at least I’m hoping it got the ball rolling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 10:26 PM
6

Second this. What I did was three lists. 1) A list of green flags that I MUST have no matter what. (e.g. educated, kind, mature, etc.) 2) A list of red flags that are a HARD NO, no matter what. (e.g. lying, being rude, poor communication, racist, violent, etc.) 3) Things that I would want but aren’t a requirement or I’d be okay not having. (e.g. speaks my second language; Latino; etc.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 10:19 PM
65

Definitely agree! I think by the 2nd anniversary you should already have a ring and some sort of plan for the marriage or wedding for sure. If you’re out of school and stable, 1.5 years MAX!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 10:13 PM
9

Agree. My girl friends have resorted to calling me “bitter” and “uptight” because I’m firm with my standards. I try to be respectful when they come to me for advice on guys, but they always get offended when I say, “drop him because doesn’t see you as girlfriend material and find someone better”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 10:45 PM
11

There’s no excuse anymore to be dating a man for 3+ months without exclusivity or a label. You’re single if that’s the case and should be dating other people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 10:42 PM
17

I’ve heard this to be the case. In my case, this recent one was super douchey. I dated someone in med school and also a resident physician. They weren’t terrible people. But even they said they met several pretentious doctors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 06:38 AM
2

I dated someone in med school and another fresh out of med school. I realized a few things. The first guy who was in medical school, texted me every single day. I would always wake up to a good morning text from him, and then I would hear from him usually at night. If he was super busy that day with school, he would text me and let me know that and that he talk to me later at night. If he couldn’t chat, he would just say good night and he talk to me tomorrow. I didn’t date him for too long just …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 03:00 AM
93

This IS abuse. She can definitely go to a woman’s shelter and I’m really hoping she does!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 01:48 AM
72

Dated a doctor for a bit. He said he didn’t wanna date anyone in his profession (powerful female doctors) because they were too stuck-up, bitchy, and “tried” to seem smart. Also said he didn’t wanna date people like retail workers, teachers, baristas, etc. because they would “just use him for his money”. I really don’t think we can ever win with LVM. Dumped that Narc before the third date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 01:37 AM
44

I saw this on TikTok! It’s actually not her audio - she pulled the story from Reddit. I think it’s from AITA or relationshipadvice or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 01:32 AM
15

But if it was the other way around..... 🤧
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 09:58 PM
8

THIS. The first sign of a man hinting that “he has trouble opening up about his feelings”, then bye!! Communication with men like this is brutal, and the fights feel like a circular nightmare. You’d never be able to have a successful relationship with someone who can’t even communicate properly. He needs therapy, and I’m not his therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 03:23 AM
2

Agreed!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 03:17 AM
35

They really are deluded. They really believe they age like wine (like George Clooney) but are actually a 3/10.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 10:16 PM
2

I cackled! Hahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:16 AM
4

A while ago (~2 years), I dated the first guy who has ever had ED. I was so confused because I really thought this was an old person thing and we were in our early 20s. Not only did he have ED, he also had PE (premature ejaculation). I know everyone jokes about the “2-second” thing, but he really would finish within SECONDS. Needless to say, we hardly had sex because I hated it. A few months later (right before we ended it) I found out he not only watched porn every single day, but VR PORN WITH …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:15 AM
65

This is so pathetic of him. He has ED, okay, sure... so there are numerous other things he can do such as, using toys, using his hands, or oral. She’s clearly communicating and he’s rejecting all of it. There’s no excuse for his tantrum, he just doesn’t want to try. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:04 AM
14

Thank you! I just went back and found it on your page! Very helpful!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:27 AM
35

Yikes. I had a similar ex whose mom actually told him she didn’t think I was good enough for him because I didn’t look like I had a future. I was working part-time at a school (because I was 21 and a college student), meanwhile, her dusty-ass son had a job at Best Buy with nothing but a high school diploma since he flunked out of CC. 🙅🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:26 AM
17

The one thing that saved me from my abusive ex was my friends. They didn’t even know anything happening behind closed doors, but just having them there to hangout with, talk to, and be around made me realize, “why don’t I feel like this all the time?” I know that if they knew, they would give me this same advice. Now whenever I suspect abuse or abusive behaviors in my friend’s relationships, I do everything I can to show them they are loved and supported by me and our friends. It’s heartbreaking…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 11:59 PM
40

Don’t forget “I’m not a god texter”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 08:15 PM
44

I got a message like that too haha. I didn’t respond, but they said something along the lines of how “this is how we abuse men...” like how ‘she’ is abusing ‘the guy’. So they linked this sub to him to “save him” or something haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 06:03 AM
198

Before I say anything else... oh my god, that was difficult to read!!! Anyway, that whole “reciprocation” thing is such bullsh*t. He definitely keeps count of the things he does for her, and uses it against her later on if he doesn’t like what he gets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 02:27 AM
31

Yeah, I completely agree! Even with me as “help” she was a very attentive and caring mother. I was only there 20 hours per week. She also CHOSE to be a stay-at-home mom. There was a one time when she expressed missing her engineering job when the child was about 3-ish and he said he would happily support her decision to return to work and have me work full-time - but she ultimately decided to be a stay at home mom until the child was off to school.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 09:05 PM
59

I was a part-time nanny for a couple with a child, and the mom was a stay-at-home mom. The husband worked a high-paying engineering job and supported his family. He had a housekeeping come 2x per week, and hired me (nanny) to watch the child so his wife would do extracurricular stuff on her own (volunteer work, yoga, art classes, etc.) and did stuff like cooking, grocery shopping, making appointments etc. She was also an AMAZING mom! The child is in school now and the mom excitedly returned to h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 08:58 PM
23

I found that strange as well. There is NO way for someone who is this coercive and manipulative to have these behaviors be dormant for 5 years. She probably didn’t notice it, or didn’t connect the dots? Sometimes you get manipulated into believing your partner is doing nothing wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 08:52 PM
25

Honestly, that is absolutely disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 08:47 PM
117

My ex drove terribly. He was always braking at the last second, merging incorrectly, and would nearly hit cars every time we got to a stoplight... He always said “women are bad at driving” and “it makes me nervous when you drive”, despite me being a safer and better driving than him. eyeroll
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 07:25 PM
5

It looks like a knitted tank top or crotchet tank top! Maybe start there? :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 09:39 PM
37

Completely agree!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 04:23 PM
9

Off topic, if I can’t figure out why it alarms me so much when I man says he doesn’t want a daughter because he “knows how men are.” I don’t know why I see it as a red flag. Is this the case for anyone else? Personally, I don’t care if I have a daughter or son.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 04:15 PM
3

I’m a little late to this... but I thought I’d contribute anyway. I was in a physically, emotionally and sexually abusive relationship. I was only 15 when it began and it ended just shy of my 18th birthday. It ruined my life. Years later (i was maybe ~23) I was diagnosed with PTSD from it. Therapy changed my life and I am a completely different person now! During that relationship and even after (before treatment), I found myself being incredibly bitter and very hateful towards other women... es…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 07:38 PM
64

A good response would be, “maybe you have ED. You should get that checked out.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 03:06 AM
44

Ugh... there was one going around on FB recently that said men can’t have orgasms from getting oral from a woman... it’s a “myth”. So many girls commenting “I can do it!!!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 02:37 AM
7

I definitely chuckled outloud when I read that part!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 12:51 AM
7

Was I pickmeisha before? Yes. Was I this level of pickmeisha before? God no. 🥴
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 12:50 AM
52

My ex didn’t celebrate birthdays. I told him “I’d like for you to help me celebrate mine. :)” He’s like, “no I don’t like to do that, so I’m not gonna do it. Deal with it :)” Glad he is an ex, lesson learned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 06:53 PM
54

The comments on the actual TikTok? I didn’t scroll down all the way to check them! :(. I only saw the top ones saying “yas girl” haha There is no compromising with most men. They are always like, “This is how I am. I’m not doing anything that doesn’t satisfy me 100%. Take it or leave it :)” hahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 06:42 PM
5

Thank you for your kind words <3 You are so right! Shame is a powerful thing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 07:37 PM
37

I’m poor at articulating but i’ll try: If you come to a compromise and the other person seems to benefit way more from it than you, and you’re left feeling upset, or disappointed, you’re settling. Compromise is when both of you are “okay” with things. Men tend to never compromise, in my experience. They are always, “take it or leave it... i’m not budging”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 07:14 PM
4

Thank the lord I am not on this side of TikTok. I actually have been seeing frequent videos of people duetting her videos and calling her out on her problematic statements. This isn’t even the worst thing she’s said, unfortunately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 07:12 AM
3

Thank you! I noticed that the older I get (mid 20s), the more men tend to comment on my nose piercings. I think it’s time to get rid of them haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 06:24 AM
31

I’ve encountered these kinds of men, and the complete opposite... Men that say in their first message, “Wow be my girlfriend”. They are just as bad (and lying). Get to know me first!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 06:06 AM
5

i second this. every man i’ve slept with has begged, begged, to do this. it’s not something i’m into and yet they still want to do it. it’s for THEM, not for us. gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 06:38 PM
2

girl, i wanted to, but i just blocked him haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 03:50 AM
2

yeah, i didn’t even let him explain himself. i blocked immediately after the “excuse me”. barf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 03:49 AM
3

The conversation had been entirely casual too. I’m disgusted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 03:49 AM
6

I didn’t even bother to give him a response after that haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 02:18 AM
5

That is awesome!! But judging from his FB posts, this guy appeared to have the IQ of a sandwich so he probably couldn’t grasp that concept anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 02:18 AM
4

EXACTLY!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 01:56 AM
15

I figured. Yuck!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 12:49 AM
10

I’ve only been talking to him for less than 8 hours on Facebook. Okay I think I needed some reassurance on this putting me off
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 12:48 AM
224

I concur lmfao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 11:38 PM
2

This was a great read. Bookmarked and saved! Thank you for this post!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 07:50 PM
102

This was sickening to read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 06:52 AM
10

Wow that’s amazing!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 01:07 AM
32

Marketing!!!! Haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 09:53 PM
54

Good point... I will just block even sooner next time!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 09:19 PM
140

I originally hid it for anonymity but, since my school is hidden, whatever ... it is psychology, with a minor in sociology (criminal justice)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 09:15 PM
108

Ugh. Then I am so glad I blocked immediately after but now I regret even responding with a “bye” hahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 09:10 PM
216

It is so condescending! Is this considered “negging”?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 09:07 PM
5

Girl yes!! Honestly it’s these little things guy’s say that I used to miss before I joined FDS. It’s so much easier dodging scrotes when you can read the flags immediately!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 05:44 AM
5

I did
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 10:41 PM
9

Exactly. I just noticed he said “I added you” instead of “I requested you”. Glad I didn’t engage and blocked haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 08:56 PM
31

Oh my gosh! He might as well have said that because after I posted this he sent another message saying “I like to wear all black and it looks like you do too”. Ugh, blocked for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 08:40 PM
2

I’ll give her my ex’s number! He’d love her!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 06:29 PM
5

I met a guy through social media (not through OLD) and within the first hour of exchanges, he asked to hangout. He never even asked me for my age or anything else about me. I have only a handful of pictures on my profile with little to no information about me. I said, “no” and removed him. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 06:28 PM
12

⚠️⚠️⚠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 10:56 PM
6

It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, “My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 05:11 PM
6

I demanded to be treated better and he left me high and dry. It’s the best thing that ever happened to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 08:49 PM
10

Funny thing is... it doesn’t matter. An ex always let me use his phone for pictures, googling, changing music, etc. He still was cheating on me and I had no idea because I never snooped and he would delete all messages. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 11:17 PM
11

I was honestly expecting the ending to be her getting dumped by him. Her staying with him after he chose her only after being a quadriplegic isn’t much better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 12:47 AM
3

An ex I had when I was a teenager harassed me for years. I would block and block but the anonymous calls kept coming.. from both him and his crazy gf at the time. I don’t say “crazy” lightly... I was threatened and called 90+ times in the span of a few hours. Changing your number is stressful, but I highly recommended it. After sending your new number to the important people, and updating your social media with the new number, everything is smooth sailing! Every now and then I get a social media…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 09:09 PM
1

Dear lord... even his tattoos are a joke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 06:06 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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