| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 7 | What is the general rule or idea of gift giving during the holidays, birthday, or anniversaries?Yes! I think sticking to a reasonable budget and maybe even DIYing some things is probably reasonable if he’s been a good partner all the way through. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/21 07:24 PM |
| 13 | Currently viral on social media, please do not be a man’s free ATM!! Libfem behaviour is NOT empowering to women, it literally only benefits the man while draining your bank account, health and energy.That being said, can some of you ladies put together a reasonable gift guide for the HVM this season? What’s too much, etc. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/21 04:24 AM |
| 3 | Touchless Date, should I be relieved or concerned?That’s what I’m worried about. I don’t want to waste my time if he’s basically just practicing. But if there are any significant changes I’ll update! Thanks. | /r/askFDS | 30/11/21 09:43 PM |
| 1 | Touchless Date, should I be relieved or concerned?That’s what I said lol, thanks again | /r/askFDS | 30/11/21 06:53 PM |
| 2 | Touchless Date, should I be relieved or concerned?We met under the guise of dating and talk about marriage and relationship philosophy. I don’t think he thinks we’re just friends | /r/askFDS | 30/11/21 05:54 PM |
| 3 | Touchless Date, should I be relieved or concerned?Absolutely, thank you! | /r/askFDS | 30/11/21 04:38 PM |
| 1 | Touchless Date, should I be relieved or concerned?He is not haha | /r/askFDS | 30/11/21 04:01 PM |
| 8 | Touchless Date, should I be relieved or concerned?It’s getting close to two months now, I’m rounding down, but I definitely will be careful. He hasn’t tried to kiss me, and I don’t think I will initiate because I have never kissed before | /r/askFDS | 30/11/21 03:40 PM |
| 3 | Touchless Date, should I be relieved or concerned?I appreciate this comment cause it’s what I want to hear. At first he didn’t but sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn’t. He did tell me that he is reserved though | /r/askFDS | 30/11/21 03:33 PM |
| 13 | Touchless Date, should I be relieved or concerned?I definitely have asked a few things about his sexuality but I may bring it up one more time since he could have felt unsure if I was a safe person to tell before? I’m kind of stumped at this point but I’m not too attached to hear whatever he has to say if it’s not to my benefit. | /r/askFDS | 30/11/21 02:32 PM |
| 19 | Touchless Date, should I be relieved or concerned?Yeah I agree, I think I’m gonna get anxious if he doesn’t show interest soon as well. He did briefly (like you would mention what you had for breakfast) mention demisexuality in one of our first conversations but I was vetting from the angle that he only said that to make me feel safe. Now I’m looking back with the mindset that he may have been serious. | /r/askFDS | 30/11/21 02:14 PM |
| 4 | Touchless Date, should I be relieved or concerned?Thank you so much! | /r/askFDS | 30/11/21 02:12 PM |
| 8 | Touchless Date, should I be relieved or concerned?That’s true. I’ll probably observe a little longer but I definitely will keep an eye on things | /r/askFDS | 30/11/21 01:54 PM |
| 3 | Touchless Date, should I be relieved or concerned?I mean on one hand I agree but on the other hand I’m in the same boat as him. I’m not sure what to do other than initiate things myself or to just let it go on until something gives | /r/askFDS | 30/11/21 01:36 PM |
| 8 | Touchless Date, should I be relieved or concerned?So far I am! But if it goes on for too long I’m not sure what I’ll do | /r/askFDS | 30/11/21 01:35 PM |
| 8 | Touchless Date, should I be relieved or concerned?I have definitely tried to prompt him to tell me any preferences of his, but he’s been “clear” that he’s cishet. I feel like prying more would be disrespectful so I guess I’ll take his word for it | /r/askFDS | 30/11/21 01:35 PM |
| 8 | Reason 20000000000000007 To Align With FDS, Vet RUTHLESSLY, Enforce Boundaries And Say NO To Casual Sex!Any HVM would at least have a backup plan in the event that things don’t happen the way he expected. And if not that, he should be able to come up with something interesting on the spot based on shared interests and previous conversations. If he wanted to, he would. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/11/21 04:56 PM |
| 7 | Any advice for my first date in 2 weeks?Hey girl, same boat as you (23, no bf, no kiss, etc) and I’ve been dating this guy for about a month. I would say just relax, remember this is an opportunity for him to show you his best side and don’t feel the need to carry the conversation or “dance” for him. If it’s meant to go well, it’ll go well! Good luck 😊 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/21 04:55 AM |
| 11 | How to go about praising/complimenting possibly HVMI’ll keep this in mind, thank you! | /r/askFDS | 10/10/21 09:24 PM |
| 143 | I let myself reopen my mind to walking dates.... Whoops-a-Daisy 🤦♀️Honestly I find that whenever I revert to my pickme ways and “do what I want” it never plays out. They ghost, cancel, or something of the sort. In those moments FDS feels like it’s “too strict” or not giving romance/a guy a chance but in every case where I would be lenient it was thrown back in my face. I can relate with this so much and I’m happy you were able to avoid feeling any more connected to this guy. It’s hard but sticking to your guns is the best bet, anyone who would make you stoop so… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/21 06:01 AM |
| 96 | Blocking is therapeutic.I can attest to this. I stop worrying about the dreaded “three months later” text or call and can actually move on instead of just pretending to do so. It forces me to dead the idea of the guy completely, which is necessary because I was a hopeless pickmeisha for the longest. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 08:24 PM |
| 11 | How do I stop feeling miserable about ending things?Honestly I feel like I can relate to you a lot. I think you’re framing this whole relationship as if it was your job to win him over and convince him why he should have invested in your relationship (that’s not your job, also I think him telling you about the other girl was to triangulate you and make you aware of “competition”). Ultimately I’m sure you know now that FDS is not gonna support an age gap relationship like this, but also a man that’s 28 that is as bUsY as he says he is would not wa… | /r/askFDS | 08/07/21 04:35 PM |
| 3 | Is it okay if I try to maintain this relationship?Yeah honestly that was a huge turn off for me, I tend to compliment people (mostly men) when they aren’t there but that felt like a slap in the face a little especially because I know I’ve contributed by driving that distance | /r/askFDS | 06/07/21 04:21 PM |
| 4 | Is it okay if I try to maintain this relationship?Yeah I feel like with school about to come back around (my last semester) I won’t have time to balance work friends and dating multiple guys well. Oh well, it’s not like anything I haven’t done haha. Thanks again! | /r/askFDS | 06/07/21 01:57 PM |
| 5 | Is it okay if I try to maintain this relationship?Thanks so much for your feedback, I’m realizing that I probably should take a little break, as I don’t have the time (or motivation) at this point to multidate. But I agree, I think the energy he put forth compiled with my lack of experience and boundaries has lead to this situation getting away from me. On a good note, I don’t feel emotionally bound to him so “losing” him isn’t really an issue for me. I 100% agree with you, I still don’t really know what I want and I’m in the “I’ll know when I … | /r/askFDS | 06/07/21 01:33 PM |
| 6 | Is it okay if I try to maintain this relationship?Yikes! I definitely caught on to the love bombing but not the other things, thank you for your response. I reread the handbook yesterday right after posting this and I agree. I think I might start multidating or take a break altogether after this guy. | /r/askFDS | 06/07/21 01:26 PM |
| 5 | Is it okay if I try to maintain this relationship?Thank you!! I definitely needed to hear this, as I usually shoot everything down before it even gets to this point (this is the longest adult “relationship” I’ve had) and I really wanted to hold out so that I could say I gave it time to develop. I do really like him but I refuse to switch places and become the chaser with him. | /r/askFDS | 06/07/21 12:55 AM |
| 3 | Ladies, I need advice on feeling more mature (22F)I never really considered that but when I get the means to I might look into that. Thanks! | /r/askFDS | 18/06/21 10:38 PM |
| 8 | Ladies, I need advice on feeling more mature (22F)Thank you so much for your response! Also I definitely can say that what you said has some truth to it. Depending on the guy I can get awkward because I know he’s expecting me to be this sensual goddess and it’s a lot of pressure. Other times it just comes out just because. I think I definitely want to work less on focusing on a relationship and more on being comfortable being myself regardless of who I’m with and cutting it off if it gets to a point where I feel like I can’t do that. | /r/askFDS | 18/06/21 05:05 PM |
| 2 | Being a people pleaser is a disaster waiting to happen.Thank you! It didn’t feel like a win at the time but I’m really proud of my younger self as well. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/21 03:20 PM |
| 8 | Being a people pleaser is a disaster waiting to happen.Absolutely, there’s definitely multiple parts to this story. I just hope where ever he is now he’s getting the help he needed and not continuing the pattern. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/21 02:57 AM |
| 12 | Being a people pleaser is a disaster waiting to happen.Its complicated because he confided in me that he lost his virginity at 13 to an 18 year old so I think him being sexualized so young made for a terrible outcome. It’s a cycle though and I shouldn’t have had to deal with that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/21 01:28 AM |
| 6 | Being a people pleaser is a disaster waiting to happen.I’m sorry to hear you went through that as well. It’s upsetting how much of this is really ingrained in our developmental years and goes unchecked | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/21 01:25 AM |
| 19 | How do you avoid becoming bitter?I swear I wanted to ask this same question a few weeks ago. So far, I just try to remember there’s so much happiness to be found outside of romantic relationships and men. I’m still working on it myself though | /r/askFDS | 12/03/21 07:58 AM |
| 12 | Friends telling me to ask a guy out and making excuses for him etc.I’ve noticed that a handful of my friends can tend to be pro-relationship regardless of the early on red flags. They will encourage me to feel it out or “give him a chance” and when I did, I’d end up looking like the fool. Best advice I got is to let it go as soon as you need to vent about a guy who isn’t even yours yet, it’s not worth the stress or damage to your self esteem considering it’s still being built up. Take care of yourself first. | /r/askFDS | 04/03/21 04:59 PM |
| 2 | Exhausted and burned out from datingIn my area at least, everyone is one or more of the following: Fisherman, giant fish in hand (not necessarily bad but ???) Gym dude, vain af, all shirtless pictures “Looking for fun” “👻 the-real-deelo, hmu on ig @smooth-scrote” “⛽️🍃 match, rarely on here” “Looking for a wife, 6’11, no kids, booty rubs 🙏🏾” “nice pictures, no bio” They all REEKED of low energy and rarely said anything about the person themselves and what they were looking for. And/or the pictures were just immature. There was lite… | /r/askFDS | 24/02/21 06:27 PM |
| 2 | Exhausted and burned out from datingI recently made a tinder just to see what it looked like in my new area. FDS has changed what I look for and how I read into the profiles. Needless to say, no one within the hour of me having the app stood out enough for me to swipe. Also the algorithm 100% wants to keep you on there as long as possible and “hides” matches (even though I didn’t even have photos up, yeah right). At this point tinder is a marketing LVM dumpster fire. But you’re not alone, I’ve hit a wall as far as knowing where to… | /r/askFDS | 24/02/21 06:05 PM |
| 40 | NEVER ask a guy out!I just had a conversation with a guy coworker of mine last night and it 100% reinforced this. He says he never turns down a date even if he’s not interested because it’s free food/experience. YIKES. He also openly said he plays the “nice guy” role...that was all the validation I needed to stick to my guns on never initiating again. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/20 06:16 PM |
| 2 | Am I (20F) ignoring a gut feeling?You’re absolutely right. Regardless of me, HE should’ve been better. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 10:06 PM |
| 1 | Am I (20F) ignoring a gut feeling?Yeah, I’m just reframing a lot of what happened now and seeing that it was bad news from the start | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 06:49 PM |
| 3 | Am I (20F) ignoring a gut feeling?Yeah I’m not gonna lie. I haven’t even gotten “butterflies” the entire time. I’ve been holding out cause he looked good on paper but I see that it doesn’t extend much past that now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 05:16 PM |
| 5 | Am I (20F) ignoring a gut feeling?The crazy thing is I definitely told him early on I don’t date coworkers so we didn’t address explicitly dating again but we continued hanging out....lot of things to rethink on my part tbh | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 04:24 PM |
| 5 | Am I (20F) ignoring a gut feeling?I definitely think that’s what it is. He never would have done something like this to me if he valued me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 04:22 PM |
| 3 | Am I (20F) ignoring a gut feeling?We don’t work together too closely, also there are always a lot of people present | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 04:21 PM |
| 6 | Am I (20F) ignoring a gut feeling?Yes! I’m definitely considering how I can continue to keep work as normal as possible, it’s good that we don’t cross paths too much there though | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 11:19 AM |
| 13 | Am I (20F) ignoring a gut feeling?I literally got teary eyed reading this. This is exactly the response I was looking for. I need to learn how to be accountable and part of that is not allowing things to progress past the initial offenses, I’m really grateful for what you’ve said! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 10:11 AM |
| 9 | Am I (20F) ignoring a gut feeling?You too, and thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 09:28 AM |
| 19 | Am I (20F) ignoring a gut feeling?You are 100% right. I think I just wanted to hear it echoed back at me but yeah, there’s red flags all over this situation | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 09:20 AM |
| 17 | Am I (20F) ignoring a gut feeling?This is more than true! I guess I was being lenient because he checked off a couple boxes (and the lack of social interaction this year) but you’re right. This ain’t my king. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 08:28 AM |
| 27 | Am I (20F) ignoring a gut feeling?I agree, it just felt like I could see the grin under his mask when he said all that! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 08:21 AM |
| 35 | Am I (20F) ignoring a gut feeling?Thats exactly what I was thinking! Like absolutely nothing about me gives off the vibe that I would play with his feelings like that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 08:16 AM |
| 93 | I ain’t never seen a case THIS bad 😭😭I just saw this and SEVERAL other women replied similarly 😭 I guess we can’t save everyone | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/20 02:42 AM |
| 98 | Exactly! Stop accepting zero effort and start demanding what you deserve!I literally wrestle with this with almost every person. With FDS, the time I have to wrestle with it is getting shorter and shorter though, I realized guys rarely respect leniency | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/11/20 11:23 PM |
| 25 | I'm new to this sub, but I just want to say....Yes! My whole life I had been someone hell-bent on recreating hopeless romantic scenarios with anyone cute and within 15 feet of me. This sub has helped me value myself so much more | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/20 08:04 AM |
| 29 | Deleted my snapchat after breakupI made the decision to get rid of snap early this year cause it would ruin my day if he didn’t keep our streak going or snapped me an obviously “one size fits all” snap. Totally delusional and unnecessary on my part. Needless to say, we don’t speak now and I’ve greatly limited my social media interactions | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/20 08:03 AM |
| 4 | Almost lost a best friend of 6 years to PickmeishasYeah I was really worried because she was on a bad path for around 2 years but she’s finally coming out and I hope FDS at least helps her develop better standards for herself. It was so hard to see her the same as before when I knew she was settling so much | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/20 01:27 AM |
| 27 | Always have plans that don't include menI used to purposely sit in my makeup after a long day “just in case” a guy would FaceTime. Which they rarely would. Started doing what I wanted on my time recently and not looking back | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/20 05:38 AM |
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