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yellowydaffodil Archive

View 0 posts and 177 comments by yellowydaffodil on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

This is from 6 months ago, bro. Why are you responding? But to answer you, no, I wouldn't. I don't believe in spending other people's money as that money then becomes a tool that can be used for control and abuse. My money means my decisions. A gilded cage is still a cage.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/21 04:07 PM
6

This worldview is super warped because it implies that you don't actually like your friends as people, only as a means to an end. There's no negative on joining a social circle and (potentially) meeting dates because presumably, your friends are people you want to hang out with anyway. Often, when I see people getting all mad about being friendzoned, it boggles my mind how little they value friendship with those of any gender. Being in a social circle tells potential dates that you're not a cree…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 10:14 PM
4

Except that most people actually LIKE the people in their social circle as people, so it's not a huge damage point when they don't get to date them. Your mindset only applies if you view women as objects to be acquired rather than people with their own personalities who are pleasant to hang out with independent of whether you date them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 10:09 PM
10

...and we're happier for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/21 09:51 PM
6

Cute fanfic. As a woman, I can say this is 100% not how we think. When I pick fights, I pick them to win.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/21 09:21 PM
10

Uh... no. Kids are dumb. At that age (13), I was upset I didn't have a boyfriend, and wanted to be catcalled because I thought it meant guys would want to date me. It IS harassment whether some teens like it or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/21 09:17 PM
2

Yeah, I didn't "miss the boat" on this, nor am I going to spread misogynistic messaging to other women. I've been in a happy relationship with a man near my age for several years. The data is interesting, but flawed. It only targets people still in the dating market. A 60 year old in the dating market has different preferences than a 60 year old happy with his wife. I have no doubt that there are an above average number of old creepy dudes on dating sites who want to take advantage of someone ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 06:48 PM
1

It seems like you're putting women into a box that is really just indicative of people in general. First of all, all people want someone they find attractive. That's the whole point of dating. Nobody is like "look at this person I think is ugly, I'm gonna date them." Plenty of women date men their friends don't like, it's basically a trope at this point. I will say they usually turn out to be abusive, which brings me to my next point... NOBODY likes neurotic nerdy guys. That's why they don't hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 04:50 PM
6

Ew. That's messed up, dude. A famous lawyer from my hometown had an affair with a 19 year old and he was universally condemned by women AND men. Normal 40 year old men prefer women close to their own age, not 22 year olds. Jesus.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 04:45 PM
0

Yes, I believe anyone who is a "provider" to their spouse has the potential to be inherently manipulative. Note that I said "has the potential" not "is". I would never be a stay at home parent because the potential for abuse is too high. Letting someone else be a provider is giving up your autonomy, man or woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 07:45 PM
1

With an account both parties have access to, there's always some level of control. I appreciate the freedom to make a stupid purchase without someone else being able to tell me I can't because they also have a claim on the money.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 07:08 PM
0

. But there's inherently a power dynamic with family. There isn't with men. Someone being a provider implies a level of superiority. Again, this is okay with an older relative because biologically, my grandpa will always be my grandpa. It's very different with a romantic partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 07:07 PM
1

...except I have never said there aren't economically attractive men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 06:17 PM
1

I've never seen it that way, in part because to me, being provided for comes with strings. It steals your independence and throws off the power dynamics. Yes, men often have higher paying jobs, but that doesn't mean that women should also give them power in the relationship as well. To me, a shared bank account means a man could say "no, you're not buying that overpriced set of skis. Nobody needs 800 dollar skis", and I'm not cool with that. The only people I let pay for me are older family memb…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 06:16 PM
4

I agree with this in terms of gifts. If my bf forgot my birthday or something, I'd be pretty angry. But, to me, none of that involves money. We've given each other handwritten cards, love coupons, and similar handmade gifts many times and they mean so much more to me than just covering dinner or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 06:03 PM
12

Other woman here. I am a proud feminist, but not extreme or crazy. I ABSOLUTELY believe in paying my way and not sharing a bank account. Why should a man pay? I have my own money and I don't need or want anyone else's.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 05:07 PM
3

Woman here. I don't approve of men paying for dates and would see that as a minor red flag. I'm not poor, and I don't need to be coddled.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 05:06 PM
1

Woman here. As long as you come free of diseases, it doesn't matter to me. N-count is a patriarchal concept anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 08:43 AM
2

So, remember that the average American woman takes into account all ages. People tend to gain weight as they age, and so that average has lots of old ladies in it too. Assuming you're not into old ladies, I think your averages are off.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/21 07:01 AM
1

In theory, prenups are reasonable, but they do signify a lack of trust that to me, suggests the people aren't ready for marriage. If you don't trust your partner not to try and take your things (which is a stupid concept anyway), you shouldn't be getting married. Just live with your partner instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/21 12:09 AM
2

I think this entire essay could substitute "women" with the word "people" and be equally accurate. You seem irritated PEOPLE don't convey their true feelings. This isn't a women thing, and the fact that people think it is plays into the whole "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" concept that is so blatantly false.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/21 03:57 AM
1

To me, it's about fit. Clothing can enhance your body, but it can also hide your body or make it look worse. A man with well-fitting (and/or tailored) clothing will BE more physically attractive than a poorly dressed one, that's the whole point. For example, if guy A wears a shirt 2 sizes too big, I can't see his body and so he'd be less attractive. Guy B wears a shirt that shows off his muscles= more attractive. Similarly, if guy B wears pants that fit properly, he won't look like he's being sw…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/21 11:55 PM
2

For me, it's based on the reaction once you make an overture. I personally think people who hint are being dumb and should just ask the guy out. However, I think most women would tell you it doesn't matter if you guess wrong on flirting/friendly as long as you accept the answer you get with good grace. The reason women feel they need to walk on eggshells is because lots of people interpret friendliness as flirting, ask a girl out, and then flip out when she says no.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/21 10:30 PM
1

You're misunderstanding what causation is. You just asserted that men do not get custody (false but let's go with it) and that men commit suicide. You did not prove men commit suicide because they can't see their kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 01:24 AM
1

Yeah, but you're blaming women instead of yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 09:13 PM
3

I'm sorry, what? Segregation was not bad because you couldn't access white people, it was bad because you couldn't access the opportunities that were only available to white people. Non-white people had worse schooling for K-12 as well as college, could not receive the GI Bill since they couldn't go to white college, couldn't live in wealthy neighborhoods even if they had the money, couldn't rely on the white police to protect them. I think you might be ignorant about the realities for PoC under…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 03:25 PM
2

correlation =/= causation. That's a lot of correlations there, buddy.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 03:21 PM
2

the OP was definitely not talking about boxing/MMA/UFC here lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 03:17 PM
1

Yeah, you're making no sense here. You have staggering levels of entitlement towards women and their bodies and it shows. A woman having sex with one man and starting a relationship with one man means another man lost out. No. That's not how it works. There's not a low number of men in the world, nor do all men want a relationship. Maybe the guy she had sex with just wanted a casual partner. Also a woman sleeping with a criminal or dangerous man enables that man and what he does. What?! That's v…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 03:16 PM
3

So, I made many arguments based in logic and sources (unlike OP who only brought up anecdotes about his friends) I wasn't appealing to emotion, but rather expressing my legitimate disgust with what has been written. I wasn't pretending to be disgusted for the sake of argument. I think you just lost the point about women only use emotional reasoning considering OP only uses anecdotes. I'm the only one who brought any sort of legitimate source in here.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 03:08 PM
13

I'm sorry, what? I am not gaslighting by telling you "being a slut" and beating people is not comparable. The fact that you can't see that is highly disturbing.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 04:48 AM
5

Source? Your friends don't count.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 04:34 AM
9

*rolls eyes* Hitting someone is not undesirable, it's illegal as well as violating basic bodily autonomy. Sleeping with someone may be undesirable to you, but it's not comparable.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 04:33 AM
1

For the third time, it's not HIS house, it's THEIR house. Presumably some of her income went into it. Also, to echo another user, how was she working as a nurse, and watching Oprah all day? Nursing is a full time job and often more than that. As I said above though, we can't debate you on your friend's biased perspective. That is not data. To add: if you found out he was only in a few violent situations with women, most women wouldn't see that as an immediate red flag but would still take notice…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 04:28 AM
2

Again, do you have any statistics on this? Data? Unbiased data? I've never met your friend, so I can't make any conclusions on whether what he said is true or not. I DO know you're only getting one side of the story, but nobody can debate you when you just bring up your friends' experiences. Even by your new definition---- it's still not comparable to having someone force their penis inside your body and rip apart your tissues. Why don't you ask the victims of the Catholic Church rape scandal if…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 04:15 AM
7

Your friends are definitely not lawyers (or at least not good ones), because that is not a law. Either that or you're not listening to what they're saying. It is not, nor has it ever been, the case that men have to pay for their wives lawyers. What CAN be the case, is that one partner (not always the man) has to pay the other partner's legal fees, but only in certain circumstances, usually circumstances where one partner has objectively done something wrong. Here's a source on that, by the way: …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 04:12 AM
2

Yeah, can't help you there.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 04:05 AM
2

"Social Violence" does not exist. You can't just call something violence because you want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 03:57 AM
3

I think he's referring to common law marriage, which can be found here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common-law_marriage#United_States However, 1) common law marriage is only recognized in seven states and is declining, and 2) the whole point of a common law marriage is that you're together for long enough and in such a manner that it functions exactly like a marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 03:56 AM
2

There. is. no. such. thing. as. divorce. rape. It's called divorce, and it's strange that you think judges are so incredibly unfair in family court yet you're not out here advocating for the Central Park Five, those convicted of drug abuses, or any other sort of judicial decision. How do you square that just the family judges are biased and no other judges are? I'm sorry those people committed suicide. It's still not the same thing as rape.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 03:52 AM
4

You're unable to source that claim despite requests. You might be referring to a Common Law Marriage, which has specific legal requirements and is similar to marriage in its features. It's her finances and stuff as well because the courts value both monetary and non-monetary contributions when awarding alimony. If you watch the kids, cook, and clean for 10 years while I work, you deserve to be compensated for your labor if we divorce since I would not have made that money without your help. I wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 03:50 AM
17

I'm going to leave the " many women make the man pay for the best lawyer for them out of spite just to take the kids and every thing hes worth. " part to the side right now to talk about the fact that you're continuing to justify equating casual sex to beating the shit out of somebody. I'm legitimately disgusted right now that this is what you think of domestic violence victims, and of women. That you think so little of women that you'd compare a woman who slept with a lot of men to a guy who be…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 03:36 AM
3

Feeling violated is not the same thing as being violated.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 03:28 AM
11

sigh They're not your things and finances. They're the couple's things and finances. That's how alimony works. Also, I didn't say losing custody was not depressing, or difficult, or traumatic. It's just not the same or even comparable to physical abuse and violence.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 03:28 AM
7

Do I really need to explain why that's not the same as having a person physically force his penis inside of you, ripping your tissues, destroying your body in its most sensitive zones? It is a horrendous analogy. Being thrown in jail is not good, but remember that's for unpaid alimony, not alimony in general. No amount of money can equate to being physically and sexually violated. Just ask the young boys who were raped by their priests and scout leaders. Ask them if they can be paid enough to er…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 03:27 AM
7

I.... I don't even know what to say. I don't even understand how you think someone literally taking your teeth out, breaking your bones, leaving you bleeding on the floor is even remotely comparable to writing a check to someone for THEIR SHARE OF THE ASSETS, and losing custody. The kids aren't dead, you're losing custody. This is beyond insulting to victims of DV and physical assault, male and female. I'm disgusted.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 03:24 AM
3

It's not the same thing as physical abuse and violation. It just isn't, in the same way being called an idiot is not comparable to being punched.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 03:09 AM
11

Also, I despise the term divorce rape for this reason. Divorce is NOTHING like rape. Rape involves having your body physically violated by another human being, having your right to not have another human being literally inside your body taken away. How is that anywhere near equivalent to losing any amount of money or custody?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 02:45 AM
8

They're her kids and her assets, too. Sucks that you can lose half of your shared assets, but them's the brakes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 02:44 AM
34

I'm going to be nice about this instead of flipping out like this post deserves. This is flat out insane. You cannot equate sex (which is a victimless act) and violence, which leads someone scarred, with brain damage and lasting trauma. Nobody is taking half of anyone's stuff or taking their kids. There is a court system which makes a decision on the issue. Wanting the money you're entitled to (because it's not just HIS money, it's THEIR money, that's the whole point) or wanting custody of YOUR …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 02:43 AM
8

Which aspects do you want to preserve? Also, remember that they had segregation in the US in the '50s.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 01:01 AM
8

There is no problem here, so there needs to be no solution. If people want to spend their money stupidly, that's on them. We're free to make fun of simps the same way we're free to make fun of people that smell bad, eat Burger King every day, etc. It's not e-girls' job to teach these men how to be functional adults.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/21 01:58 PM
2

We're trying to mod it so that the random flags don't get acted on. Idk, I think it's better because there's a lot less explicit attacking and the mods don't act on the random salty flags. Also we could use more feminist users for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/21 02:05 PM
1

Yep. Come hang out with us at r/FeMRADebates. I swear we're better.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/21 03:33 AM
1

Imagine not knowing the difference between singular and plural.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/21 03:30 AM
6

This post is metastatic prostate cancer. That's all I can say.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/21 02:18 AM
0

Bro.... just no. That's a terrible, untrue take.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/20 08:12 PM
2

When you're in elementary school and you get a pizza party is that a reward or a fun activity? If your teacher just says, "hey random pizza party this Friday!" that's a fun activity. But if she says "Pizza party if you all behave for the next month" then that's a reward for your behavior. That's a big part of the problem, though. Sex isn't like a pizza party. For a pizza reward, you benefit but the pizza just gets eaten. The teacher gives you the reward, but the teacher doesn't get anything. Sex…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/20 03:09 AM
3

...but men aren't mad they're being deprived of a fun activity, they're mad they aren't getting a reward they feel entitled to. OP even used the word "reward" in his initial post. Women don't see sex as a reward. They flat out don't. The ones who make guys wait do it because they've been raised to think that they lose worth when they have sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/20 02:06 AM
20

I mean, I don't do this, so I can't defend it from a personal standpoint. If I like someone, I have sex with them. My bf of 3 years and I had sex on our second date. However, I know women (mainly older/more traditional ones) who do act this way, so I'll approach it from there. I understand why men are coming from, but I think it comes from seeing sex as a reward rather than a fun activity or a romantic act. When men say that we're "rewarding the flings and punishing the relationship material", i…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/20 01:42 PM
2

I agree. However, she probably would in other clothes. The messed up part is that young teens and tweens are being told that they should look like her body-wise. People who find 17 year olds attractive very well could find her attractive, even though she's playing to a much younger audience. To me, it's a pretty creepy extension of neoteny: that 20 year olds need to look like teens and teens need to look like little kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/20 10:17 PM
0

Sure. This is JoJo Siwa. She's 17, so not an adult, but close. She's been encouraged to dress like she's about 10 to be appealing to her fans, and IMO it's kind of messed up. https://www.bridgestonearena.com/assets/img/JoJoSiwa-Slide-db6d60bfaf.jpg
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/20 05:23 PM
5

It's not about women being jealous. It's about people finding middle-school age girls attractive. It's not healthy nor is it ethical to act on.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/20 05:15 PM
1

That's not what I said. Nobody cares what you do in your head. You can find whoever you want attractive. People care how you act. I'm saying people shouldn't gawk and stare at models on billboards or random people. Staring in a sexual way and touching are okay and appreciated once you're flirting or dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/20 06:17 AM
2

Oof, no. A woman can dress a certain way for only a certain person/group of people to sexualize her--- not randos.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/20 04:10 AM
2

"they" here, lol. We want to be sexualized in the right context. If you're dating me or flirting (and I've shown interest), yeah I want you to find me sexually attractive. If I'm just a rando or on a billboard, don't sexualize me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/20 04:08 AM
5

Young woman here. We ARE really annoyed by the constant messaging while simultaneously seeing it as a bit of an ego boost. It feels good to be swiped on, sure, but then you find out all the guys either send you dick pics, creepy messages, or swipe right on every girl they see.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/20 02:45 AM
5

No. That would make me really uncomfortable. I'm sure there are subs you can post dick pics in though.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/20 12:14 AM
5

As a girl who found her bf on Tinder, here's my response: I have many male friends who tell me they swipe right on every girl they see. Tinder does not like this and devalues them. However, this is part of the reason why girls get so many more matches. Tinder is definitely more guys than girls, in part because of the massive safety concerns associated with being a girl in online dating. This doesn't apply too much here, but remember that "experiments" where you're both the subject and the resear…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/20 01:54 AM
2

Yeah, that sounds both inconvenient and annoying and I'm sorry it's like that. It definitely can be an issue when a partner is too big and ends up hurting the other. I'm glad you guys have found at least a few ways to make it work.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/20 12:05 AM
21

I'd honestly say that I absolutely don't care or remember unless it's 1) so small I can't feel it or 2) physically hurts me. Both of those issues can be generally solved with technique. So, I'm 5'3" and I call everyone taller than 5'5"ish "tall" when I describe them. Like, I have friends that are 5'7" that I refer to as tall because that's my frame of reference. Similarly, I call nearly every dude's dick "average" unless it's remarkable big or small, like big or small enough it's a tangible diff…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/20 02:35 PM
2

I was 14 when a guy saw me running in a sports bra and shorts and asked me out on the street.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/20 04:38 AM
1

Unless drugs or alcohol were used or the man was raped (like the commenter above mentioned), it's not predation.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/20 10:43 PM
14

Woman here. No it isn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/20 07:10 PM
11

this! absolutely this. Strategizing just to get laid will get you just that. It will not work for an LTR and treating people like toys is gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/20 07:10 PM
10

I'm against red pill because it treats women as objects who are all the same. That's toxic. Some of the strategies it uses (like getting in shape) are useful, but others (like being disrespectful to women to give off "alpha vibes" are based in pseudoscience and set up manipulative and unhealthy relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/20 07:09 PM
1

See, that would be a crime and would make her a predator. However, that is not who OP was talking about. His description could theoretically apply to any woman who flirts with a married dude if she knows he's married. There's a big difference between the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/20 04:11 PM
1

The prey takes the food, but it doesn't know it is bait. A dude getting hit on or having sex with someone not his wife very well knows what's happening.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/20 03:21 PM
3

The harm being committed is using a word meant to describe sexual criminals and using it for a voluntary, consensual act. This implicitly equates rape with cheating in readers' minds, which I suspect is the reason OP used it. Again, this is harmful because cheating is voluntary, whereas rape and molestation are not. Predation implies taking advantage of someone vulnerable; that's why we use it to describe those who molest children and rape others. They are taking advantage of another. Married me…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/20 06:21 AM
4

Per the dictionary: "a person, group, or business that exploits, victimizes, or preys on others: a sexual predator who targets children" The word predator (referring to a person, not an animal) also has a connotation in society as referring to a criminal act, not merely one we view as immoral. We can argue all day about whether cheating is a 2 way street (I believe it is), but it's indisputable that hitting on married people is not a violent, coercive, or necessarily unconsensual act. I believe …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/20 04:35 AM
7

That's not what a predator is. A predator is someone who rapes or molests people and involves a violation of consent. You're diluting the heck out of that word, when the word you're looking for is "homewrecker". A female predator is someone who deserves to go to jail. A female homewrecker is just ethically a bad person. We should not be conflating rape and cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/20 04:01 AM
1

Hey, so girl here who plays games. I have some thoughts: -1) I play almost exclusively single-player offline games (Banner Saga, Diner Dash, etc.) or party games with friends in person (Mario Party, Mario Kart). There's no way for you to see me play these games because I play by myself or with friends I already know. 2) I also like to play games that the gaming community has gatekept as "not gaming". This includes vocab games like Fowl Words, 2048, and other mobile-type games. Even Mario Party a…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/20 02:08 PM
1

Presumably you don't test the drugs out on yourself and then qualitatively measure your recovery.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/20 02:05 PM
1

That's not what you asked. You asked (and I quote) "so what criteria for assessing female value is (sic) acceptable to women?" Your question was NOT "are women's preferences bad for men"
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 06:23 PM
1

No, no it doesn't. My qualm was with you posting a question for women and then responding with a book trying to disprove me. The key word here is "disprove". If your initial goal was to disprove, then it wasn't a good faith question. It means you asked just to get circle-jerked or validated. As I said, I'll respond later. I have work to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 06:21 PM
1

I'll respond to it later. If you haven't noticed, I 'm in a bunch of threads here. I'm not "showing my submissiveness", I'm legitimately confused as to whether you asked your question in good faith. You asked a question, and I responded, and then you wrote me a book about how wrong I am. I'm again, not being submissive, but probing for more information before I decide if it's worth my time to respond. Are you actually curious about how women think people should rate partners? Or are you just her…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 06:14 PM
0

Bro, I don't understand you. You asked a question specifically for women, got answers from women, and then are pissed off at women for ....what? Telling you the truth? You said in your other comment that women always lie but literally why ask us if you believe that?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 05:42 PM
6

The same applies for faith healing and acupuncture.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 05:05 PM
4

Hold up, that's just straight up bs though. Testosterone and estrogen are closely linked compounds, so both sexes have both of them. Regardless, all men are different just like all women are. Plenty of men DO have an attraction to masculinity just like plenty of women are attracted to femininity. Non-hetero people exist (and invalidate AWALT by default if that's your argument). So, I just divided the current world population by half, but it's still a massive number even when you consider 20-30 y…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 03:37 PM
2

You can't control for all variables in the real world, nor can you control properly at all when you yourself are a subject. Do YOU even science?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 03:27 PM
5

Sure. TRP has arguments that men are rational while women are emotional, and that this is a bad thing that makes women untrustworthy. They use their own personal observations, as well as science saying that women are more neurotic (bad choice of words, but think Damore memo), as well as the social science that men often hunted while women took care of kids. It's a huge leap from any/all of those ideas to say "men are rational, women are emotional" and an even bigger leap to say "because someone …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 03:25 PM
5

AWALT is a big one, yeah. Here are just a few issues: 1) AWALT exists, but AMALT doesn't exist/isn't talked about. Red Pillers seem to accept that men are individuals but women are not. 2) 3.3 BILLION people. Just think about the scale of that number, and then tell me that all of them are the same. You can't.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 03:18 PM
6

I'd say all of it, honestly. Every single TRP theory treats women as an aggregate group instead of individuals. There are 3.3 billion women in the world, so ALL of it suffers from that issue. I'd love to get into the specific theories, but considering I'm one of the few feminists here and currently debating in like 6 different threads, I'm not sure I have the bandwidth.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 02:36 PM
2

While I can accept that Rubens is unique in his portrayal of obese women, most of the depictions of women show women with much more body fat than a conventional model or "skinny person" today. Beauty standards around weight do change, that's what OP is saying. In this link, you'll see many different versions of Venus. While none are as large as the woman in the Rubens painting, every single one has more fat than your typical fashion model. https://womeninantiquity.wordpress.com/2017/03/12/venus/
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 02:34 PM
4

Bruh. I'm not shifting between anything, my original comment referenced both. If you look at both styles (which are related bc the renaissance was a rebirth of classical styles), you'll see the female figures have bellies, boobs, and wide hips. They're not obese by any means, but they look vastly different from the Kate Moss- model ideal that people treated as a beauty standard for decades.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 02:27 PM
9

It's not correct. What TRP does is make observations, read some basic science, and then use faulty reasoning to make wild conclusions and connections between the two. It ignores basic statistics in favor of sexist generalizations and is filled with confirmation bias about how the world ought to be (like OP said) rather than how it is. That's why you never see anything positive about women in this sub. The "TRP is evolutionary founded nerds" are a problem because when someone thinks science is on…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 02:24 PM
3

Yep. Foot binding was too, and I think we're all glad that beauty norm died.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 02:16 PM
6

Well, to start, the fact that there's confirmation bias to an exponential degree. The people TRP works for stay and proclaim it the best approach. Those it doesn't work for get kicked out of the communities or leave, and disappear into the fray. Your argument is the same argument faith healers and acupuncturists use, and I think you know why they're wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 02:15 PM
5

Except it isn't. Picasso never said that his paintings were meant to show ideals of beauty. Greco-Roman and Renaissance art clearly did, considering they showed idealized figures (gods and women known for beauty) as fuller-figured nudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 02:13 PM
4

That's not what we say about any other art or historical movement. Common Renaissance works also depicted God, but I don't hear you saying "Religious people existed, but the majority of people were actually atheists. The extent of the atheism is not well known and went unexposed to painters." That's not how it works. Art is one of the key insights we have into the cultures of the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 02:11 PM
2

Can you recommend a more recent book that could restore any sort of faith in evo-psych? I majored in evo bio so I understand the science, but to me, evo psych at least in its pop form seems to be a cesspool of confirmation bias
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 01:56 PM
22

Testing out what works in the real world does not make a scientific experiment. The plural of anecdote is not data. If you're going to claim science, claim science, but you can't claim just going out and doing things makes something scientifically based.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 01:48 PM
9

Have you seen a Renaissance painting? Or classical art? Idealized women are often depicted as what we'd call fat today.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 01:46 PM
8

Because when your premises are based on faulty reasoning, you don't get to say 'but science!' to defend them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/20 01:44 PM
3

Yeah, I think a lot of people would.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 08:26 PM
0

Okay, then I stand corrected on that specific point. It still doesn't mean women want their partner to be smarter, stronger etc. than them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 02:32 PM
2

We see more single by choice women, but you can't say that's why.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 02:27 PM
3

I don't rank from 1-10. I had an ex who called me a "3 in the front and an 8 in the back" once on the internet, and I'm still pissed about it. That said, I'd say that I'd have a cutoff at 300 pounds for sure. 300 pounds means you can't live the lifestyle I want, since I run at least twice a week and hike on the weekends. Obviously if you're like 6'6" maybe 300 pounds isn't obese, but as a rough estimate, that's my cutoff. I'd also do a strict dealbreaker on bad teeth or chain smoking. I can't ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 02:12 PM
4

Yeah, it's never going to happen. Dating apps aren't made to help people find relationships, they exist to make money. Companies only act towards equity and inclusion if it's profitable, and I don't see how pissing off your user base is profitable.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 02:06 PM
1

Uh.... no. Most of the people who don't consider oral to be sex are guys. They think if it's not PIV sex, it's not sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 02:02 PM
1

A lot of this is well documented as because of sexism, particularly virginity. It is a biological fact that the hymen being present does not relate to past sexual experience as someone can be born with many different shapes of hymens, and it can be broken by physical activity. That's not my opinion. The partner count criterion is sexist trash because it only applies unilaterally. Everyone here is quick to show me (paywalled, thanks) studies pointing to increased partner count causing cheating, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 02:01 PM
2

So, OP honed right in on "virginity" and "sexual history" which is what I think is misogynistic and gross. You'll notice that "lifestyle choices" and "social views" are much wider nets that look for a variety of different questions. OP didn't even consider hugely important criteria, like "do you like to move houses frequently?" or "do you want kids?" or even something radical like "do you want multiple partners?" Similarly, while valuing virginity is a social/religious view, it's a) a shit one, …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 01:53 PM
2

If it worked that way, we'd see a lot more single and unhappy women and men. We largely don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 01:44 PM
1

Lmao, yeah people sure considered it sex that time.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 01:43 PM
-2

She thinks so, lots of people don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 03:01 AM
3

I think you're talking about a very small subset of women. Some women lie about the amount of partners they've had, and some think only insecure men care, but very few think both. You also want to consider that not everyone puts sex and counting on such a pedestal that they even know their "n count". Many people don't. Further complicating things is what you define as sex. I have a friend who thinks of herself as "having had sex" just from oral.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 02:33 AM
3

Thankfully, I have :) We've been dating for almost 3 years now, and I love him very much.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 01:08 AM
3

It's not supposed to be impressive, in the same way a woman liking cheese is not impressive. It's just another attribute someone has.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 12:20 AM
0

So, the first three of those sources are either paywalled, don't discuss the quoted findings in the abstract or come from organizations with noted bias. Several others make zero sense, such as linking heritability to infidelity, or linking infidelity to hip to waist ratio. I'll try harder to get around the paywalls and read later, but... yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 12:19 AM
1

thank you! People here struggle to understand that women are individuals.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/20 11:51 PM
3

Woman here. I answered above, but I'd like my partner to value me for my intelligence, physical attractiveness, adventurous spirit, and whether I'm a kind person or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/20 11:49 PM
3

I never called anyone a misogynist, I said that certain points were misogynistic. Attack the problem, not the person. Also, have you actually paid attention to who comments on here? It's not feminists. I've been here maybe a week and can count on one hand how many posts even remotely take a feminist lens. The fact remains that you thought no one would answer honestly, I did, and now you're salty about that for some reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/20 11:48 PM
1

source? That "fact" gets parroted around a lot, but never with any data.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/20 11:45 PM
0

It's sexist because society's judgments towards women having sex is overwhelmingly negative while viewing male promiscuity as positive. It's wrong because it doesn't matter who someone sleeps with? Seriously, give me one good reason why it matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/20 11:24 PM
3

Lol, I answered honestly. You're not going to like it, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/20 10:11 PM
3

I did! I don't think you're going to like my answer though.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/20 10:10 PM
8

PPD is definitely a male forum. Y'all talk over women about their own experiences on the daily.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/20 10:08 PM
9

You're not going to like this, but I'll go for honesty here. This sub is a bunch of guys who discuss women's behavior and motivations while deliberately ignoring what women have to say about their own perspective. You hinted at it yourself when you said "this platform, which is open for women to view criticisms of their own behavior". Y'all want to talk about what women want and how we act here, but you don't want to sit down and ask us. The few times I've given my perspective, I'm met with "don…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/20 10:06 PM
5

First of all, your premise is incredibly biased and is not "nothing controversial". Plenty of men do not want a subservient mouse as a wife and plenty of women do not seek to be "the dumb one" in the relationship. It's predicated on the idea that women cannot be strong, smart, and powerful. It's also predicated on the idea that being smart is something you can decide not to be. As someone who's pretty dang smart (scored 99th percentile on every standardized test I've ever taken), the idea of pla…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/20 09:44 PM
1

Free in what sense? I'm not advocating we put legal limits on 19 year olds by any means, but that doesn't mean I'll defend choices I know impacted me negatively.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/20 09:34 PM
1

I'm aware of what pedophilia is, and I'm happy to call creeps who date 14 year olds hebephiles if it makes you happier. Teens literally do not have development of the prefrontal cortex. They are less able to make rational long-term decisions than an adult and so any relationship (from one-night stand to marriage) is taking advantage of their lower developmental stage. That's not anecdotal. In addition, there's tons of research showing that the optimal age for childbearing for women is not until …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/20 01:29 AM
1

I wouldn't call it pedophilia or rape if both people are over 18. I would call it creepy on the older person's part and stupid on the younger person's part, regardless of the genders. Neurological development does matter for sexual attraction because once they open their mouths, you hear the immaturity and most adults would be turned off. It also makes the difference between being attracted to someone and wanting to date them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/20 01:10 AM
4

sounds like rape but ok
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/20 12:49 AM
3

I made mistakes, and wouldn't recommend my actions to a young woman. I think casual sex is fine, but not with mid-30s manlets.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/20 12:48 AM
4

No, I made mistakes. I liked some of the guys, but slept with a lot of them because I had a scarcity mentality towards dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/20 12:48 AM
2

Someone with no maturity or life experience isn't able to make good long term decisions. They are ripe for grooming and manipulation because of these gaps. While we are developed physically in some ways, neurologically we very much aren't.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 10:48 PM
4

While all of that is true, teenage girls are still incredibly immature emotionally. neuroscience has found that teens in general don't have the capacity to make long-term rational decisions.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 10:45 PM
6

Bro, I'm 23. It creeped me out when I got more life experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 10:43 PM
2

The post asked for OUR personal experience. My point wasn't that height doesn't matter to women, but that SMV is flawed because people have different preferences that they consider important. I said that height doesn't matter TO ME, which it doesn't. Being in shape./outdoorsy might matter less to someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 01:12 PM
12

That's never made sense to me. I work with teens, and they're both equally immature.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 12:54 PM
12

They creep me out no matter who's involved. I'm a young teacher, not much older than my students, yet the maturity gap between us is immense. Some of them will be 18 this year, but it's stunning to me the differences in emotional development and maturity that occur when you've lived on your own, held a job, and just aren't being taken care of anymore. The more time I spend working in high schools, the less I understand how people think high schoolers of any gender or age are attractive. On the p…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 12:52 PM
-1

Okay, can you link to said studies, because a HUGE problem in the scientific community in general and psychology specifically is that the studies either have bad methodology or that the results don't say what the OP thinks they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 12:41 PM
1

The question wasn't about data, it was for women about their views and approaches. ETA: I also know that psychological data in particular so often suffers from bad methodology, bad results interpretation, and people taking results out of context, especially when it's on hot-button issues like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 12:35 PM
1

...you mean the irony of someone telling a woman what "typical females" always do? Yeah, it's pretty obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 12:29 PM
2

I said this below, and I can't agree more.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 04:01 AM
1

Okay, that was a good one. Corkscrew duck dicks are always a good source of humor.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 04:00 AM
1

Except that assuming you'll take literally anyone (that you don't have choices to make) isn't healthy either. Everyone has choices to make even if they aren't the choices they want. Also, knowing exactly who you're looking for isn't by definition healthy. It can be, but people can also be looking for shitty people--- both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 04:00 AM
2

It's a misogynist, yay!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 03:56 AM
1

I'm not missing the point. I'm saying that while individual men and women do have agency, societal influences also matter. We were talking about women's behavior here, so I focused on their influences. I'm happy to discuss media's role in influencing men another time if you'd like. You and I can pretend that we're not influenced by media and culture, but we all know that's not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 03:22 AM
1

*rolls eyes* I get that the general sub is about relationships, but I think it's a crucially important point that not wanting to fuck someone =/= "treating them like an annoying doormat", which was said in this thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 03:17 AM
5

I mean, you have your opinion, and that's great. OP asked for women's opinions about their value and I answered honestly. The traits I value in a boyfriend are independent of how I view myself because, well, what's the point in dating someone I think is ugly, out of shape or stupid just because I also think I'm all those things? I don't view myself that way, but even if I did, you don't build a relationship based on "settling". My opinion on the matter is that women are different, but this woman…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 03:15 AM
-1

If we're talking about in person, I might agree, although with the strict caveat that hot guys absolutely can be creepy and make women uncomfortable. If you know you're not conventionally attractive (physically), you probably shouldn't be pursuing people in such a way where all you're offering is physical attractiveness. In online dating, I don't think it matters. While it is true that dating apps sort people into rough "leagues" based on attractiveness, a swipe is just a swipe and a swipe left …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 03:10 AM
7

Feminist woman here. I don't believe in "market value" since people differ, and what people consider important differs. I'm not saying I don't believe in some objective standards of attractiveness, but that trying to establish some hyper-rational "market value" is bs. For example, a man's height doesn't matter to me. I've dated guys anywhere from 5'2" to 6'7". I mean, if you're Tyrion Lannister height (4'5") maybe it'd be an issue, but I can honestly say I don't swipe based on height and don't a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 02:45 AM
1

Your condescension is 1000000000x obnoxious and unnecessary. Apparently you need it made clear to you that not seeing someone as a romantic partner is not ignoring them. Not giving someone what they want is not the same as treating them badly. We're NOT just talking about relationships because that's not the wording that was used. It's a dangerous line to pretend that someone not wanting to fuck you is ignoring you.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 02:36 AM
1

Exactly. Nice is a good starting point, but there are plenty of nice people of all genders I don't want to hang out with all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 02:28 AM
0

Tell me more about who I am. I love when people act like they know my reasons for doing things better than I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 02:27 AM
1

Societal influences matter, and women can absolutely have internalized misogyny and teach bad lessons to young women. It's ludicrous to think that our culture doesn't influence our choices and preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 02:26 AM
0

We give the advice that we ourselves would want, and we don't want people who "get" girls. Women aren't possessions, and those that view them as such aren't going to have long-lasting, healthy relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 02:25 AM
1

People do that (not just women) because positive, healthy relationships aren't really modeled for them so they don't discover how to pick until they're older.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 02:24 AM
1

Tell me more about who I am. I'm sure you know better. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 02:23 AM
1

Uh.... I have lots of dudes as friends that I hang out with regularly and who are friends with my bf as well. Not seeing someone as a partner =/= ignoring them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/20 02:22 AM
2

Yeah. Your comment sounded like something a dude would say, since most women I know (including myself) know that we don't just ignore "nice guys" and treat them badly, it's that a) we never saw them as a romantic partner at all or b) they're not as nice as they think they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/20 01:19 PM
6

Are you a woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/20 01:16 PM
66

IMO, a few reasons. Men who treat their partners badly often don't do it at the outset. They groom their victims so that by the time the abuse starts, the victim either doesn't recognize it as abuse, is blinded by warped ideas about love, or doesn't know how to leave. Outsiders don't see the grooming process necessarily, so they just see "he treats her badly and she likes it". Lots of women's media romanticizes and glorifies abuse and mistreatment. This is the media we grow up on and are fed fro…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/20 01:15 PM
1

Social science requires the other person's consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 02:26 PM
1

I haven't seen a single other feminist here. I joined this sub as an alternative to r/femradebates due to the lack of feminists, and well.... I'm not happy with what I found.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 04:25 AM
2

bro, I joined a bit ago, and am really thinking about leaving. There are no feminists here.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 04:23 AM
1

"I guess I should be more rational as a man".... dude what?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 04:20 AM
0

That "objectively describing" everything is the problem. It's creepy to write five paragraphs describing your sibling's body and sex life in detail on the internet. It's absolutely contributing to suggest that this guy seems to have a problem with women in general and his sister specifically to think it's okay to: a) generalize about all women based on his sister, and b) SHARE INTIMATE DETAILS OF HER SEX LIFE AND DESCRIBE HER BODY IN SEXUAL TERMS. You must think it's also fine for Trump to say t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 04:19 AM
1

It does make sense, and I get what you were going for, but IMO it's still creepy. I agree with other commenters that you could've just said "objectively hot" and we would've gotten your point, but that's only the least of it. To me, and I think to most people, psychoanalyzing your sibling's sex life to this degree and then posting about it on the internet is beyond the pale in terms of acceptable behavior. Imagine your sister found this. You think she'd be totally chill with your descriptions of…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 04:15 AM
1

psychoanalyzing your sister's sexual behavior is still weird, no way around it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 04:11 AM
0

NOBODY likes having their sexual behavior analyzed like they're a fucking animal, rather than a person. I'd bet you don't like having your sexual behavior analyzed either. Regardless, it's beyond creepy to do this to a family member, writing about their sexual behavior in detail on the internet and describing their attractiveness. I get OP couldn't find another way to phrase it, but that doesn't change it being fucked up.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 04:10 AM
2

As a sister who has a brother, if I found out my brother ever wrote something like this about me, I wouldn't speak to him ever again. This is a super creepy way to talk about your sibling, and it seems to me like you're jealous of your sister's romantic success and/or have some sort of incest fetish going on. Ew. I'm reacting the same way right now as my dad did when Trump called his daughter hot. Family members just don't do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 04:06 PM
4

So, the reason that's happening is because OP posted something outside of the commonly accepted "sphere of debate". Legitimately asserting that you can predict the individual behavior of 3.3 billion people via a computer programming algorithm is both unbelievable degrees of sexist and incorrect. It also plays on all the tropes about people who can't find love trying to force it via an algorithm.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 02:47 PM
3

I feel so much pity for poor Gale and Shapely, who were just trying to work with computers and not get dragged into this raging dumpster fire of an analysis.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 02:43 PM
1

Met my bf of 3 years on Tinder, we were hookup buddies for a year before we started dating for real. I also had a lot of shitty and borderline dangerous Tinder experiences so I'm not sure I could really recommend it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/20 12:39 AM
2

Yeah, this is why I don't let men I date buy things for me. I pay for my own dates, and my own share of things because I don't want to deal with the entitlement that some people feel when money is involved. I'm not here to become financially dependent on anyone, nor am I down to have to grovel the way OP expects women to. Maybe it's just me, but you sound super entitled in your post.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/20 12:37 AM
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