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youllknowwhenitstime Archive

View 0 posts and 1,482 comments by youllknowwhenitstime on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

Not what you wanted to hear, but do not assume your pregnancy nausea will let up. In particular the smell of beef (although it seemed to somewhat depend on the source of the cow?) was impossible to tolerate my entire two pregnancies, and many other random things - varying week to week and day to day - would also be insufferable. Get an N95 mask. I'm serious. It significantly reduces the food particles in the air carrying the scent. You will not be the first or last pregnant woman cooking in a he…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/25 01:44 PM
27

I will never understand this wild idea of split finances while MARRIED. Your assets are generally legally mingled unless you had a detailed prenup. "Your money" doesn't pay the bills - y'all's money pays the bills. How are you two supposed to save up for a car, house, or retirement without comingled finances, or even something smaller like a vacation or new appliance? Who makes the decisions and sets the budget? And don't tell me y'all "decide together." That means whoever is more stubborn leads…
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/25 05:07 AM
2

Nicely and warmly give him a veiled ultimatum? Has that ever worked for you?
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/25 07:22 PM
4

Search "nun mode" in this subreddit. I don't generally reccomended nun mode; I feel almost no one takes it seriously and instead make half-hearted attempts on the self-improvement front, inevitably exiting whenever the next guy they are attracted to shows up, not when they have hit goals or concluded a predecided period of focus. But you really need it for your own safety and future happiness. I hope you do take it seriously. Don't set aside too much time - 3-6 months should be enough with conce…
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/25 04:19 PM
6

I get it. You want a guy who has energy when y'all are having kids, who doesn't leave you a widow for 20 years at the end of your life, and still has all that high-testosterone physicality of young men. Young men are desirable. My husband is younger than I am, in fact. Now I'll be blunt. If you are not devoutly religious, be willing to marry a guy in his mid-20's. And you have to be beautiful. Be very fit, look natural, have long hair, dress nicely but for wifey-material vibes. Being a beautiful…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/25 06:23 PM
3

I've wondered before, but haven't dug into it myself so I'm asking in case you already know: are there studies on the marriage longevity of first time brides that control for the couple's income? Given that it's a leading given reason for divorce, I wonder if the lower success rate isn't entirely due to trying to build a marital foundation under worse financial stress.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/25 02:49 PM
2

It's 2025. I thought we were done with the prefrontal cortex development myth. That belongs in the same psychiatric misinformation bin the 2012 "average teens today have stress levels of 1950's asylum patients" went in. For those who don't know, that study found prefrontal cortex development through age 25 and did not study ages after 25. There is no known developmental shift of the prefrontal cortex at age 25. Just a lot of bad reporting. 20 is an interesting age because absolutely nothing is b…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/25 02:43 PM
8

Rephrasing "how do I fix my man" as "how do I, ahem, inspire my man to change in just the ways I want him to" doesn't negate the fact you can't change someone. If you didn't have anything to do with the fact he quit going to the gym and is struggling with career progression, then your behavior isn't going to cause him to start it up again. So unless you are skipping the part where, I don't know, you nagged him to be home all the time so he quit going to the gym and wouldn't do professional netwo…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/25 02:13 PM
–

So uh... he has some trad qualities, which you want, but not enough of them for your tastes, so you are retaliating by withholding your cooperation in things he wants? Yup. That is the bigger thing to unpack.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/25 06:17 AM
2

I wanted something sleeker. Post early 20's, this style ages you instead of looking cute, plus I was changing my crowd from artsy to a couple different worlds. I made the shift with an all-nuetral capsule wardrobe. Still modest but all mainstream trendy. Caught my husband. Reverted partially into a rainbow hippy style when I started having kids (2 under 2 right now) for practicality's sake - wraparound skirts are great for back to back pregnancies and I live in nursing shirts which are not known…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/25 06:03 AM
2

I only went on one accidental lesbian date. 🤦‍♀️ (I didn't even know she was bi until she messaged me afterwards asking for clarity on whether or not I considered our outing a date. At the time my style of making a new friend out of an acquaintance was to invite them to chat more over coffee.) It's a horseshoe theory thing. The two populations most interested in appearing non-sexualized to men are trads and lesbos. It's amusing it took this long for a style to manifest that the two groups play t…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/25 05:15 AM
32

I'll make the obligatory "until marriage" comment for the trads to upvote and comment "same" under. (It's worth noting that marriage was about 6 months after meeting each other and less than 3 after beginning actual dating.)
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/25 04:51 AM
3

Get a fringe piece and combine with a head-covering hat or kerchief! Much more affordable. There are a lot of options out there because people want a bangs look without having to actually cut their hair. Also congrats on successful treatment, and bearing through the baldness! It'll be worth all the effort and frustration once you've finished your regrowth.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/25 04:48 AM
5

You really like drama and telling people about your drama, don't you?
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/25 04:27 AM
5

Oh. Yeah. Dressing like that is why I say I was cottagecore before it was cool. Literally all you have to do is keep your waist. So drop waists, empire waists, and certainly waistless dresses are out. But if you keep your waist visible and are otherwise attractive (fit, long hair, no makeup makeup or actual no makeup, nice face) they do not care. People may assume you are religious (I in fact was so this was useful to me) or at least conservative. A wide variety of men asked me out, but they wer…
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/25 06:50 AM
3

If you are cringing at being connected to his family, yet claiming to like them, I think you need to unpack some stuff there. You are connecting to him and to his family to whatever degree he is connected to them, with or without a last name change. This is almost assured to be a huge no-go to a traditional guy who wants to make you part of HIS household. This sounds like a case of wanting to have your cake and eat it too. You are surely attracted to traditional qualities your man has. You would…
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/25 05:46 AM
6

Does he already have kids? If not I would be incredibly cautious he has any clue what dating someone about to have a newborn means.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/25 01:14 PM
3

I almost think that's worse because they had the whole divorce process to make a decision and just avoided it!
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/25 09:08 PM
10

100% this. Either he still wants to see the ex or she hasn't retracted her claws and he's failing to see that (or is enjoying seeing her try).
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/25 08:35 PM
9

First off, you don't parent a dog. I could try unpacking all that (I think that turn of phrase implies he is in his ex's frame, isn't interested in actual children, and doesn't treat his dog like a dog) but it would take too many words. But the root of the issue for you is that anyone choosing to stay attached to an ex VOLUNTARILY (which is what refusing to handle the question of dog ownership by "co-parenting" is) should not be dating.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/25 08:32 PM
4

Aw, don't downvote and dip. I replied because I thought you'd be fun to debate.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/25 06:07 PM
4

The "pretty sure" phrasing had me confused because royals are public figures and it isn't hard to confirm suspicions. I see what you mean now. And this is the same guy who is maintaining an emotionally warm, but sexually chaste relationship with you while saying he "isn't ready" for a romantic relationship yet? His hesitation is the reason things aren't romantic?
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/25 04:29 PM
2

"Pretty sure" he is a royal? To clarify, is this someone you know in real life?
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/25 03:25 PM
3

Oh, and I forgot. 6) Read this Whisper classic on submission as strategy: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/prgjnb/back_to_basics_september_submissive_behavior_as/ I won't rehash it, but I will add the highest RMV attribute a woman can offer is submission, so to attract and keep a high RMV man she will need to capitalize on this.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/25 01:40 PM
11

1) Gold digging is bad strategy. Many will try, and few will achieve. Those who try risk alpha widowing themselves through a relationship that couldn't reach commitment, and those who achieve are forever locked in a combative dance with their man. Wealthy men who want to commit to a single woman desire partners. They may be fine with arm candy - and they may despair of finding a woman who can be a partner and assert only arm candy is to be found - but they want a partner, someone who is enamored…
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/25 12:59 PM
2

There are two possibilities here. The first is that you have an irrational fear of your male coworkers being a rape threat. The second is that you should change jobs as soon as possible - and I mean quit immediately and start flipping burgers until you can find better work. I hope it is the first. From the reaction you describe your female friends having, they believe it is the first. I'm only aware of one career, at least in the US, where rape by male coworkers is a disproportionate possibility…
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/25 04:38 AM
4

I've been attracted to both, but the common thread is that none of them were the type to stay an employee for their career. They wanted to build businesses - whether blue or white. In the end I went white collar, and I'm self aware enough to know his status is a huge attracting factor.
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/25 03:33 AM
4

Can you explain why "Meeting with so-and-so is even more obviously a mistake now. He lashed out at me over text afterwards and now I have him blocked. I am definitely going to work on being able to say no when I know I should" is such a terrifying thing to say to your bf? This seems like a non issue. Worse case scenario you will get an exasperated, "See? Told you so" and you can go "Yeah, yeah, you did. I'm learning."
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/25 03:29 AM
12

Did you get married in the last week since posting the "how can I get my boyfriend of 2 years to have sex with me" question?
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/25 03:21 AM
2

I echo what others have said about continuing to wear skirts in winter. I remember realizing, walking through a busy city center, that I was the only woman anywhere wearing a skirt (and leggings and calf boots underneath). It makes you stand out in a beautiful way. Get a long coat for when it is raining. At that point in time, I didn't own a car and bused and walked everywhere. No issues when a good fitted coat was involved.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/25 05:58 AM
2

In my relationship I'm the one with chronic pain, a congenital disorder, and lots of doctor history with very few answers. I understand where your husband is at. There was a point as a teen I told my mother no more. No more tests, no more doctors, no more "Well, let's just try and see..." treatment protocols. All the effort was producing such little payout my precious energy was better reserved. I focused on management of symptoms (learning my limits, structuring life in a way I could handle it)…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/25 05:15 AM
1

Pavloving is subconscious, so bringing the trigger to consciousness would ruin the operation. You are all constantly pavloving and being pavloved, without being aware of it generally. It is part of the human condition. If you are doing it for the benefit of both of you, there really is no ethical concern. You aren't harming anyone! As a side note, smell is the sense most acutely tied to human memory. It's a great pavlov trigger choice.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/25 04:09 AM
2

Thanks for mentioning this. I was going to say - well taken care of pets are a green flag, precisely because a great number of people get animals they can not or will not care for responsibly for their entire lifespan.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/25 03:53 AM
4

In the realistic way most modern cultures that do "arranged marriages" do them - basically arranged *dating* and then the couple decides to approve or reject the match - the concept is great. However, also considering realism, the US simply doesn't have the communal bonds required for parents to locate matches. We're a very broken down, isolated society and every nuclear family is its own island. The trouble of each young single being their own island and struggling to make good connections just…
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/25 04:01 AM
4

It's a cliche, but it's true. You'll never "feel ready" - for marriage, for the more demanding promotion, for the new challenge in life. If you know marriage is something you want, then you have to do what you need to do to achieve it rationally. If your end goal is marriage, why are you dating not-for-marriage? You'll only end up creating emotional attachments that can't be fully realized the way you want because you both didn't intend for it to get that serious when you met, or worse, baggage …
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/25 08:38 PM
1

too many compliments, awkward compliments, inviting them out too soon, too often, double/triple messaging I'd classify all these as enthusiasm. If the interest is mutual, there shouldn't be an issue with these.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/25 06:57 PM
2

The only part here that sounds wrong is oversharing. The "you have to challenge him, make him work for it!" idea floating around certain dating strategy subcultures is disconnected from reality. It's part a mixture of normal boundaries, which is good, and advising playing hard to get, which is destructive. Not oversharing would be a good normal boundary. Withholding genuine compliments and enthusiasm would be playing hard to get and destructive. If you have a lot of talking stages and early date…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/25 03:43 PM
3

This makes it sounds like she can go from "Thank you!" to "Let's exchange it," gloss over the why, and not have him clueing in that she doesn't like it. That's very passive, feminine think - a way to avoid direct confrontation - but no one should kid themselves. The message is obvious to him.
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/25 07:35 PM
3

I really don't know why people are thinking mentioning the ex is worse than telling him he's bad at picking out jewelry. Don't get me wrong, there's a reason the "correct etiquette" response is to say NOTHING, about the ex or selection his abilities. But if you're going to go for exchanging it, how is "I don't like what you picked," however nicely you put it, better? "Blaming" the ex saves face.
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/25 06:24 PM
0

You know, I tried several times to figure out my sister's taste in jewelry well enough that I could purchase items for her without running them by her. Her love language is also gifts. Eventually I gave up on that and stuck to other items (apparently I could pick t-shirts really well?) or got her approval first. And you know what? The one time she gave me a necklace... it sucked. Waaaay chunkier than anything I wear, and I already had a necklace with the same motif in my real style. So maybe ina…
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/25 06:35 AM
4

Point is he DOES do things - even if it's the standard classic nice dinner - so unless there's reason to think otherwise, the issue isn't in his willingness. There are no shortcuts here, you have to express your desires!
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/25 06:21 AM
1

You moved in with him a month ago. This is what's called a shit test; you're subconsciously looking for something to test how much backbone he has, and you will make the relationship rocky if he shows any signs of weakness during the process. Tread very, very carefully. Every woman is capable of shit-testing past the amount of backbone she can reasonably acquire in a mate. >we have pretty misaligned sex drives 1) Did you know this before moving in? 2) If he never changes, is this a dealbreaker?
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/25 04:19 AM
1

I'll be blunt: Only people with internet addictions can possibly develop the warped perception of reality (regarding the nature and beliefs of most men) you currently have. Get offline, for your own sanity. Ironically, your brother is the same as you: falling down a wild hole disconnected from reality because of online input.
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/25 01:47 AM
21

I thought this was going to be a "he did nothing for Valentine's day" post. You went to a nice dinner. That's pretty normal. Maybe there's someone out there who got a nice dinner and flowers and is lamenting he didn't get a jellycat too. You "make him" think about getting you flowers more by telling him you like receiving flowers - this is even easier if he's ever given you flowers in the past, as you can say, "I loved when you got me flowers for my birthday/that one date/etc and would feel so h…
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/25 01:42 AM
2

Alt exists on a spectrum. There's alt-flavoring of a "normal" wardrobe that still obeys the rules of visual communication in your culture, and then there's the very deliberate choice to use aesthetic to say "I'm not part of your society," and everything in between. Likewise, some people practice an alt aesthetic as a hobby, and wear it privately, for photoshoots, and at hobby events, while other people adopt an alt aesthetic as a lifestyle. Obviously the former is much less likely to be a turn o…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 11:45 PM
2

Slowing down? Practice. Imagine if your friend wanted to walk slower because they were rushing and bumping into things all the time and they knew everyone saw them as clumsy. What advice would you give them? If you keep a positive mindset about the changes you are making up instead of chastising yourself for not having changed over night, you will be able to put the consistency in needed to practice the difference. You can practice spontaneously - any time you think about it, you make sure your …
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 11:19 PM
3

He clearly does not trust you for some unclear reason, which could have something to do with you or something to do with him or something to do with external circumstances. So I'd like to dig into this: >apart from one lie about something before we were together which I came clean about. What was the nature of this lie? Did you come clean spontaneously or did he discover you were lying? Did this confession shortly predate the change in his behavior?
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 11:12 PM
6

Are you enjoying your sexual experiences? Can you initiate because you want to have sex and the feeling and climax of that act, even if you aren't turned on at the moment of initiation? If so, that's what he wants to hear expressed, that you *want to have sex with him.* Or have these sex sessions pretty much all been about pleasing him from your perspective, which could easily lead to a "you're doing this as a chore" perspective on his end? In that case, the answer might literally be to start ma…
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/25 03:50 AM
2

Tell me about it. I've no clue how to raise kids who are appropriately literate to the current technology level of life without being victimized by it. I'm just certain the answer is not to give an 11 year old unsupervised access to the world wide web like my parents did. 😂
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/25 03:32 AM
–

Yes, he's getting turned on by other hot women he is exposed to, in life and online. That's how being a straight male works. Whether you're fine or not with the following steps of him a) lingering, b) redirecting his thoughts to you and c) sharing his new fantasy of you with you is something you need to decide. Personally I find the shopping-for-lingerie-together process fun and hot.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/25 02:39 AM
3

>Plan to have kids but he only wants to have them once we both are stable (more savings or he has a higher paying job.) "Stable" is an incredibly unclear goal - it's generally referring to an emotional state, and people who feel unstable at lower but non-impoverished income levels usually continue to feel unstable as their income and lifestyle increases. In the case of the, "I need to be stable before having kids" line, it's very common for people to point to finances as an excuse when the stabi…
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/25 02:27 AM
2

We're religious, so it was A. Although I don't think this applies to you, OP, I've noticed a pattern of women being open to or actively wanting men who hail from a religious culture but are "flexible" in their practice and will be sexually intimate before the guidelines of their religion indicate. This "flexibility" is actually incongruency and requires a certain level of double-think; anyone able to engage in it will engage in it in other areas of life as well. My personal observation of every …
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/25 06:34 AM
3

I think you must be in a particular subculture of some kind for you to think that intimacy before exclusivity is "not common," and extremely surprised to see you associate it with religious guys or men with low libido. Hookups are, statistically, trending down for Gen Z, at least in comparison to Millenials. (Although "situationships" where people are exclusive but not "in a relationship" are definitely up.) Are you at a party college? Or did you come from a neighborhood where the middle schoole…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/25 06:20 AM
2

One of my husband's vetting tools on a first date was to ask to see their app history usage during conversation. One woman had an average of 8 hours a day on TikTok (and a full time job... he was baffled). Let's just say the bill was split.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/25 06:03 AM
3

Sort of a side note, but crock pot your dinners. You can fix up ingredients in the morning or the night before and then throw it on with a timer before you go to work and have a piping hot meal nearly as soon as you're both home. There's a wide variety of recipe options out there. I wouldn't live without my crock pot. What are the "sex issues"? He may say what he's talking about isn't sex itself, but sex broadly informs the nature of the rest of the relationship, so it is relevant. Have you gott…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/25 05:58 AM
5

Because OP is currently the kind of person who makes fun of people. Usually they create the same relationship dynamic repeatedly if the partner doesn't leave. Commend her for recognizing her destructive habits and changing.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/25 05:50 AM
5

INFO: 1) Do you request these things of him? Do you say, "Let's take X trip" with the assumption he will pay, or "hint" eg "I really need books for x and y" hoping he will pick up on your request-hints? Were the books a request you had already made? There is zero reason for you to turn down things he has offered (such as the books, faux pas on your part to turn them down if he had offered those). There is plenty of reason to dial back asking for favors. Your finances aren't combined. You don't k…
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/25 01:50 AM
4

People want different things, but women are more likely to start prioritizing stability in various ways as the biological clock ticks away. Undergoing a pregnancy is inherently risky and we have developed the biological drive to look for safety indicators in response.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/25 07:01 PM
3

Seconding this!
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/25 07:44 PM
–

Oh wow, you're jumping straight from long distance to living together... while you're still ironing out some kinks from past bad relationships personally. I understand the financial pressure - I've some struggle stories myself. I honestly wouldn't have chosen all the living situations I chose out of financial pressure in retrospect. The other issue with living together from a woman's POV is that it makes completing vetting super costly, and combined with financial pressure, something to avoid em…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/25 05:27 AM
3

Here's one thing that will genuinely be helpful: prioritize and acquire more happily married friends. It's hard to notice when some small mindset or habit of an unhappily married friend is a) contributing to their poor marriage quality and b) rubbing off on you. Easier to get a hold of high quality friends and make sure you're mostly pouring into and receiving from them. Subconsciously picking up their mindsets and habits will benefit your own future marriage in unexpected ways. Congratulations!…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/25 04:13 AM
9

Next year is too soon to get married because he doesn't want to marry you. Do what you will with this info.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/25 03:51 AM
5

Look, the reason the ONE thing both men's RP and women's RP agree on is that you shouldn't move in together unless the wedding is imminent is because it sets EVERYONE up to fail. From the woman's perspective: If you set up duties and expectations in line with marriage, you have now committed to marital-level sacrifice without marital level commitment. You're gambling that you're going to be just such a perfect fairy that even with giving him the milk and the butter and the cream on freaking tap …
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/25 03:47 AM
2

This question comes up constantly. The answer is and always has been "You can have any requirement you can think of, but you can only get what you yourself have the value to get." If all the men around you are porn users and your girl friends say you should get over it, you need to get out of your current social culture. That's going to require work. I'm a huge advocate of maxing out your own value before settling.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/25 03:35 AM
8

Ma'am, get some boundaries for the love of Pete
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/25 06:55 AM
1

Explanation of terms: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/uNn6vVmEOM
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/25 02:45 PM
12

is it my fault these kind of men approach me If you're inviting and attractive, the full spectrum of men will approach you - including the ones you don't want. There's no realistic way to only get asked out by hot guys with job. Now, if you walk around with "I am prey, I have been victimized" vibes... whether or not the guy is good looking and employed, there's an high chance he's a predator honing in on the metaphorical wounded rabbit sounds. Like others have said, you'll need to start by addre…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/25 02:35 PM
8

I don't advise hanging out in spaces for in the moment relationship advice until you have a thorough understanding of the female social matrix. https://theredpillroom.blogspot.com/2012/05/female-social-matrix-introduction.html?m=1 Also, while Surrendered Wife might be helpful to think about a future marriage, it is not very helpful while dating and vetting. Laura Doyle's Surrendered Single book would be a very good resource for you. Unfortunately I'm unaware of any Surrendered Single groups.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/25 06:43 PM
12

Monkey branching as an emotional instinct exists due to the historical reality of women relying on their male partner to eat. Cave girlfriend couldn't have a gap in mammoth supply for too long, and she definitely couldn't just up and leave in the middle of winter. But it's low RMV and SMV behavior. (Demonstrates low loyalty and paternity risk.) Men don't want it. The moment they find out there was no clean break between the last guy and the start of you wooing him, doubt is planted and the doubt…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/25 06:25 PM
9

Oh, agreed. She should put the babe in daycare and start working full-time. Such a slacker for not maintaining her career at an equal level of her husband's, but maybe she can catch up and contribute an equal amount to the household finances. (They will of course have to train the child to never have mommy phases or daddy phases; that would be very unequal.) Then they can divide putting away shoes equally: if there are 20 shoes in the house, they're each in charge of putting away 10. They can sw…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/25 05:19 PM
2

Do you have anything in your life that's more important than this hill? Maybe having a good marital relationship that will bring you both happiness and a good environment for your children? Is your current approach damaging any of those more important things? Time to switch your mindset up!
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/25 12:56 AM
27

Step 2: Keep practicing all those Laura Doyle skills in the meantime. She may not give you an example of how to approach this exact problem, but she gives plenty of examples of toxic mindsets that convince you to treat your husband like an enemy and rewire them. Her approach is very similar to CBT therapy in that regard. Don't skip the self care! Everyone wants to treat doing 3 things of self care a day as the bottom priority skill, and it's not! Being in a healthy relationship requires pouring …
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/25 12:52 AM
24

Ok, full stop. No more condescending, mothering, contemptuous "tricks" to make him do what you want. And certainly don't steal his stuff just because you're mad - I don't know what is wrong with that other commenter. What's the likelihood your current approach is going to endear you to him? How could this cause anything but more conflict? Do you want to win the battle at the cost of building up more resentment in him? You two have different cleanliness standards. I rather doubt he used to keep h…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/25 12:52 AM
2

Maybe it's his paternity risk instinct lol
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/24 08:32 PM
10

Have you ever seen those TikTok or Instagram accounts telling women to only date rich guys who shower them with gifts? They're designed to play to an audience with an emotional desire and tell them what they want to hear, without any concern as to how realistic finding a single guy at the top .01% income level is or what is required to date them - the divine femininity in women is just supposed to exist and never be stressed, after all. Buy my course. They're delulu, yeah? Similarly, you can def…
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/24 06:44 PM
18

And you've visited this other country you plan to move to extensively? You already speak the language? You have connections there that will provide a base level of support? What happened in your own country when you dated fellow conservative Catholics?
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/24 12:52 AM
9

Flashbacks to a gay classmate in college, who had previously mentioned his body count was 19, saying he was technically also a virgin because he had never had intercourse with a woman. Your body count is the number of bodies you've had sex with. We call oral sex and anal sex "sex" in English because in English culture we consider the acts sex. That said, you are definitely conflating being honest with oversharing. You don't have to present yourself as having had 2 boyfriends if your real body co…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/24 10:58 PM
3

To add: how old are you two?
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/24 05:51 PM
5

Historically, working in agriculture or textiles or even household cooking to an extent was often a communal affair, conducted by many women of multiple generations in a public space. The children running around were simultaneously watched/directed/corrected by all. That's not to say it wasn't hard work with long days - it was, and people labored sun up to sundown - but there was more give and take across many people sharing a load. Now we are wealthy beyond our ancestor's wildest dreams by defa…
/r/RedPillWives27/12/24 05:03 PM
1

I don't think most people realize the number of (especially LA) influencers getting car, clothing, jewelry, and even furniture rentals from the same companies that supply movies and TV shows. Influencers walking into luxury shops to pose quickly with a close-up on an item became enough of a problem most places have an influencer policy now. Every single successful genre of social media is somehow faked, men's and women's content alike. The number of guys who haven't noticed those videos "catchin…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/24 04:15 PM
9

INFO: When you say "red pill guy" do not mean "a guy red pill women would likely consider a good catch" (and if so, why?) or "a guy into men's redpill strategy"?
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/24 04:02 PM
29

A man who responds to an argument by angrily deliberately physically damaging you - sexually or otherwise - is not "likely to improve." Statistics bear this out. I would genuinely consider reporting the social worker to her supervisor, but if that's too much on top of everything else, AT LEAST request another one. You don't have to say why, either - just that the current one made you incredibly uncomfortable. Has he ever acted out of anger physically before? If not, consider that your re-engagem…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/24 06:52 AM
12

All of that can be done with a very modest baseline of income. Methinks OP is talking about a different subset of relationship content besides "date a guy with good manners who cares about you."
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/24 09:22 PM
11

It seems you are currently in a 6 month relationship. Is this "princess treatment" trend stuff impacting how you feel about your relationship? Is it triggering insecurity or making you question the relationship?
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/24 08:47 PM
-19

A mark? Like a bruise/goose egg? Or the redness that comes from increased blood flow to an area that's gone in 20 minutes and can be triggered by a mere sleeping position? Because one is a disproportionate force that indicates the FIL can't be trusted disciplining a child and the other is... not actually worth mentioning unless you're getting emotionally worked up. Is this hinting at a much bigger problem, like the fact your husband believes in physical discipline at this age and you don't? Beca…
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/24 05:53 AM
1

I wish I could direct you towards those "loved ones of conspiracy theorists" communities but I only know a Q-specific one.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/24 02:09 AM
3

Merry Christmas ya filthy animals.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/24 01:38 AM
–

Ah, that's a little different. Some DO get into the political but not clearly religious "side" of trad, which could be happening. But it sounds more like a way of expressing what is called "caretaker burnout." (Chronic illness or major health crises can be extremely trying on marriages, too, so "I wish a husband was taking care of you" is hardly a solution.) The community for whatever your health condition is would probably have a lot more advice/thoughts/sympathy if you go tell them "My Dad is …
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/24 01:36 AM
6

Redpilled on what? Relationships? The slang "redpill" meaning "to see the hidden truth interested parties don't want you to see" predates the sexual-strategy Redpill movement. I hang out with folks who unironically say stuff like "redpill me on toothpaste" so I do get both uses of the term. But you're posting in a relationships/sexual strategy sub and I'm struggling to see how "gender roles exist" connects to "holidays are pagan." Unless it was a total if you give a mouse a cookie situation. But…
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/24 01:29 AM
–

Flashbacks to my girl friend threatening to sell me for 30 goats 😭 (She was a divorced single Mom, OP, so this joke DOES exist outside the trad sphere as well. Combined with the comments about women and education, though, it's probably a trad-leaning thing from your dad.)
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/24 01:17 AM
1

These comments from your dad are trad takes, not manosphere takes. If you're both religious your dad is probably going in a more fundamentalist direction than you. I could launch into an RP/evopysch-based explanation of WHY these positions exist traditionally. But as for a practical matter, the universal response to disliking a family member discussing or "just joking" about their religious/political/philosophical beliefs is to ignore them. The holidays are hardly the time for fullscale persuasi…
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/24 01:14 AM
4

They say that about every pretty blonde who reproduces though
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/24 03:04 AM
1

I've never watched this influencer. Catch me up to speed - what do we trash her for? 😂
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/24 02:40 AM
57

Yes. Repeatedly, I have seen self-made men want to marry women who have the same traits they have that created their social mobility - this doubles for vetting for women who respect what is required to be self-made and don't take it for granted. A woman with an extremely high work ethic in her own right is often spoken of highly. From-wealth men want women who don't need to be "trained" on how to act in their social circles, or what norms are expected of their children, or what mindsets are need…
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/24 02:20 AM
20

Let's think about this logically for a minute. Men's natural craving for sexual variety and hardwiring to be attracted to multiple women can NOT be biological to such an extent that they cause men to struggle with actually having sex with an available woman, because then the whole purpose (sexual performance) is compromised. His situation is extremely biologically unhealthy, not natural. This is an addict. Usually, realizing the man you are vetting is an addict of any kind is no-go territory. We…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/24 05:53 PM
1

Non-exclusice FWB, basically. Someone a guy sees regularly and has a sexual relationship with but isn't committed to in any way.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/24 05:44 PM
1

6 months, non-official? Are you sure you're not a plate/fwb?
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/24 09:45 PM
1

How long have you been dating? Are you official?
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/24 08:10 PM
2

What are these "needs" you're talking about, specifically? They vary per woman.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/24 09:56 PM
6

You feel physically incapable because you've never done it before. Right now you feel physically incapable of dancing in ballet pointe shoes, but if you started training your ankles, eventually you could. A completely new behavior you've never engaged in is the same. Role-playing would probably help - do you have a therapist or extremely close friend who would be willing to help with acting out scenarios you'd usually be abrasive to?
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/24 02:39 PM
13

Hey, take the break and go do something else you rarely make the time to do if he wants to do the dinner. You make it sound like the options are you make dinner or you do something you don't love! Laundry busted? Giggle and bring it to him and say you love the household help, everyone ruins a garment or two when they first start but there are care tags on the clothes to help, and ask him if he could do you the favor of finding the item online and re-ordering it (or running a bleach load, or depi…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/24 03:19 AM
16

Have you read Laura Doyle's The Surrendered Wife? She discusses a lot of habits we can fall into that contribute to abrasiveness and what building the alternative behavior pattern looks like.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/24 08:03 PM
2

OK, but you've not mentioned any reason whatsoever why you would think your completely loyal husband and the so-far unsuspicious soon-to-be-single-mom would have an affair if given the chance. Do you believe your fear is rational? If so, why? If not, how do you usually handle GAD fears?
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/24 03:43 PM
1

That's not what I asked... Look, I'll restate the most important part, because you mentioned you thought the reason you were worried about cheating was because of your GAD. >If you believe your worries are due to your GAD, you should treat it as you do any other anxiety attack you believe is irrational. What kind of treatment or management do you currently use? Medication? Meditation? Therapy? Self-guided therapeutic techniques?
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/24 01:26 AM
3

I think you misread my comment. My questions were about your husband's behavior, his buddy's wife's behavior, and your behavior. Not the cheater's back story.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/24 08:14 AM
1

Has he ever made inappropriate comments about her/sought her out in an odd way? Does she seem like she's trying to revenge-cheat on her husband? Or is it all pure speculations and fantasizing about worst case scenarios for you? Very often in these kinds of divorces the couple ends up "getting custody" of friends, and a reputation war rages. A spouse telling their cheating spouse's friends the real reason they are splitting up is incredibly normal for these reasons and doesn't indicate a seductio…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/24 07:17 AM
2

Unless there's a lot more going on that didn't get said (which there could be), this reads as extreme paranoia from OP. I'm not sure responding with demands around tech, if they aren't already open-tech, is going to help the root issue.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/24 03:29 AM
3

Are you worrying your husband is cheating/has cheated in the past, and if so, why? (Just because his buddy apparently cheated?) Or are you worrying your husband might cheat in the future one day, and if so, again, why? What does the location of his buddy's wife have to do with this?
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/24 03:26 AM
–

Agreed! That would be a good line if he insisted.
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/24 10:39 PM
–

Agreed. There are theoretical conversational chains where it is possible to graciously accept, but with some clear intention of him not being left with nothing for his efforts, like the flirtation of seeing you in a cute dress being offered in return.
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/24 10:33 PM
13

Because the appropriate response to the offer of $300 would most likely have been, "That's so lovely of you to offer! I would love to see you in person soon so you can know for sure you enjoy my company before giving me wonderful surprises like this," not accept. Alternatively, once you did accept, the ONLY appropriate action 48 hours later would be thank you's, some pictures of what you purchased, talking about enjoying what you purchased, and making it very clear you want to meet him. You lite…
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/24 08:08 PM
3

Yeah, this is sounding like much ado about nothing. No one is going to begrudge a mother at 4am who is tending a baby, can't speak their language, and just does the polite "smile and nod" thing to them when they chatter at her. Sounds like FIL is a bit of a talker for the sake of talking. OP, your husband wants every minute he can out of this visit. This is clearly very meaningful to him. It sounds like the solution to make sure he can have that without ruining sleep is just... have better bound…
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/24 08:59 PM
3

I wouldn't call it abusive - I would call having no commitment to a perfectly salvageable relationship with kids irrational and self-destructive, and though that would also be destructive to those around you, I wouldn't call it abusive - but you just can't have your cake and eat it too. If you expect your partner to contribute to the relationship like he is committed (bringing home the - metaphorical, in this case - bacon, fathering the kids, etc.) you have to act like it too. So I'd call it hyp…
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/24 02:49 AM
1

Despite my own positive experiences, on the whole I'm actually quite the therapy skeptic. (And I HATE when it's the first thing everyone suggests for any issue. For example, I would have never told a brother he should go to therapy to figure out how to handle a dead bedroom.)
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/24 02:45 AM
35

1) That's not rape. That's, to be quite blunt, an insane mindset and probably brought on by unresolved trauma and you projecting it. If couples waited for their schedules and mutual spontaneous arousal to occur and all line up, many would rarely or never have sex. Realizing your partner is aroused (or even, neither of you being aroused but knowing if you don't now you won't get a chance to later) is an opportunity to get started and allow responsive arousal to take over. Responsive arousal needs…
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/24 03:08 PM
51

So it seems you were considering divorcing your husband before this. It's abnormal to respond to "We really need to have sex more than once or twice a month, it's killing me and destroying our relationship" with "Well, let's end the relationship then." Why?
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/24 07:04 AM
27

There's some reason he got to this cracking point before he could go to you and say, "This can't continue. We need to change our priorities or our relationship will deteriorate." Anyway. Time to change your priorities. You can start small by dropping the toddler off with a babysitter or a per-hour care center for a couple hours once a week. How opposite are your schedules? Do you have zero overlap in bed time?
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/24 07:02 AM
14

You can find a LOT of therapist horror stories out there. I've only ever been to one back when I was a teen, who was wonderful, but that's definitely not everyone's experience. I explicitly recall one therapist horror story from someone whose therapist was doing similar - encouraging "out there" sexual behavior - and later discovered through social media that their therapist had QUITE the freaky sex life. Professionals ain't above projection.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/24 06:57 AM
31

Proposed explanation for why this perception will exist but is technically inaccurate: - Since the biological motivation for wanting monogamy is largely due to resource scarcity, women are more motivated to stay with, tolerate, quietly ignore, or outright accept wealthy men who cheat or keep mistresses. - However, non-wealthy men are incapable of inspiring enough resource security for most women to tolerate it potentially being halved. Their wives and girlfriends (correctly) recognize their spli…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/24 03:43 AM
2

Another goodie: What Working With Executive Men Has Taught Me
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/24 11:23 PM
22

A solid list, though I would include a caveat to the social media point: a much higher percentage of men either don't use social media or use it far less than women typically do, and it is improper to expect a man to jump through the hoop of changing his previous behavior. If he hasn't updated his Instagram since 2020, or his timeline only has photos of his ex at Christmas when his Mom tagged both of them, social media means nothing. What you want to look for is consistent behavior, so if he doe…
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/24 08:10 AM
29

I think for the next few months I'm going to squeeze out free dinners and validation out of guys while depriving then of sex to feel better. Real stellar RMV behavior here. This is the problem with focusing on therapy to the exclusion of living life. Therapy can support navigating life, but it does not prepare you for it. i would not advise wasting several months in a fog of bitterness, damaging yourself and those you encounter. Couple red flag call outs: At 29, why would "looking for a girlfrie…
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/24 01:45 AM
51

If you vet early for men who are ready to find a marriage partner, you'll end up simultaneously vetting for men happy to find a woman who doesn't sleep around casually.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/24 08:35 AM
3

Were these concerns not present before, and sex/dates/mutual helpfulness just fell off suddenly post marriage, or were they present but you were hoping the marriage would create a "honeymoon" where they went away for a while?
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/24 06:33 PM
7

How recently married? How long did you know each other before then? What were the fundamental things about this man that made you decide to marry him, since I know they're there?
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/24 03:55 PM
5

Is he talking increasing your bodyfat percentage or just gaining muscle weight?
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/24 09:52 PM
3

Good, lol. Was slightly worried there was an "I'm insecure so I don't want you to be super fit" element but that's surely not happening. Can you estimate off of a visual guide? (The 30% photo is a terrible representation but the rest are solid IME.) It's common for women to be 18-22%, idealizing 15-17%, and their men would like a solid 25%. HA maybe don't investigate ex's if you don't know lol. I will say that if his work out routine is intense enough, that could easily trigger a somewhat higher…
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/24 04:30 PM
5

Okay, so that's a little different. I'd actually recommend adding this information to your OP. This has been sitting and simmering for a while. You have proof of previous emotional affairs (Which may or may not be ongoing? Unless they appeared to have resolved when you originally found proof?), decided to let it go (understandable), and now you're wondering if there's something else? Why have you decided to "have a conversation" about a possibility? What has changed since you discovered the prev…
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/24 08:52 AM
8

Info: 1) Is he fit or flabby? Does he work out? 2) What is your bodyfat percentage? It's true that men prefer a slightly higher percentage than female fitness culture idealizes. I'm curious if y'all's differences fall in those expected ranges. 3) Is this a consistent preference of his? Studies suggest the same group of men's bodyfat percentage will change based on their stress levels. Were his ex's larger, for example?
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/24 08:49 AM
–

What kind of partner situation is the author in?
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/24 08:43 AM
9

If it's from a weird app you've never heard of, hate to say it but there's a chance that was an AI chatbot notification. You know how DuoLingo harasses you if you don't do your daily language lesson? The romantic/sexting AI apps have their own version of that. (As a silver lining, if I'm correct about that, at least he wasn't using the app enough for them to be happy?) Do you guys NOT know each other's phone passwords? Honestly, in every "normal" couple with no previous baggage (ie, abusive exes…
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/24 01:09 AM
1

I get it, that's not what I'm trying to ask. I'm asking if he told you why he didn't go further.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/24 02:08 PM
3

Did he say he purposefully didn't do anything more? And if so, why? Or is it likely that had he not been discovered it just would have progressed?
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/24 05:47 AM
2

Why did he say he stopped short of getting physical?
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/24 04:52 AM
2

Or being self-destructive. Many of these women, if broken up with, would proceed to find another guy exactly like the last because they want a self-destructive emotional spiral. (I've also seen it the other way around, with men serially taking on relationships with physically abusive women.)
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/24 11:35 PM
5

Perhaps you should explain what you mean by "being submissive" in all these extremely different circumstances. Without any clarification, everyone's reaction is going to be, "Duh, husband only. A ship can not have two captains, much less eight of them." If you mean "be generally agreeable and mostly non confrontational toward," perhaps. If you mean "accept the leadership of," of course not.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/24 11:29 PM
3

Did you get confirmation these were physical affairs and not just emotional affairs?
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/24 11:21 PM
2

Since he has no transparency (not that you're keeping anything from him, just that neither of you have put in the work to create the transparency) and all goes smoothly during the "slim" times, it feels like the slim work must be enough to get by on and the fat times should be overflowing. This in turn means he risks experiencing a lack of possibly healthy urgency during slim times, and disappointment that the hard work or busier times isn't more rewarding. This is actually a bigger problem than…
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/24 08:23 PM
1

NIV is a particular Bible translation. Am I right? Is that what you generally read?
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/24 05:29 AM
1

That's way too orderly and rational for American dating culture!
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/24 05:27 AM
9

This exact thread gets made every two months or so. The camps are as follows: "You should offer and gracefully accept if he wants to pay." "It's rude to even offer and you should assume he is a gentleman." "You should expect to pay half and try to make it up to him later if he pays, maybe by footing the next bill." "You should next any guy who even hints that he would have accepted you paying half." Geography plays a huge role in here, especially with the "it's never rude to offer" camp (US city…
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/24 03:01 AM
-2

Found the NIV reader?
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/24 02:21 AM
2

Why are you asking?
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/24 12:49 AM
6

Did you ever get told this before the wig? Like others have commented, it seems to be the culprit. I can't quite tell what your ethnic makeup is, but a wig that closely resembles your natural hair color, texture, and is a more commonly obtainable length would cut down on the 'fake' vibes. More natural lashes, softer brows, and less full lips could assist as well. (And are you wearing contacts?)
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/24 12:48 AM
2

He has decided it's monk mode time for him. In this particular case, "still being friends" sounds like agreeing to not date for a while to see if he gets it together before you have a meet cute with someone else. Don't. Let it be a clean breakup - you both like each other but the timing is NOT right and may never be. ^ I wrote the above BEFORE realizing you were the same OP as the silent treatment post. I never did reply after your edits to that post, but from the full story, it sounded like you…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/24 10:50 PM
5

I can see why you'd be skeptical of their advice, but it's possible they could still be on to something. It's not uncommon for people here to advise concurrent non-exclusive (celibately, of course) dating with a few men at once as a 'cure' for women who tend to hyperfocus on one guy too fast. Can you count how many first dates you've been on in the last 3 years (since your transformation)?
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/24 03:23 AM
49

I want to say this is a lack of boundaries and possible desperation or scarcity mindset, but I'm suspicious there's more going on. EDIT: I was right. It's mental illness of some variety. See here: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1gt375n/comment/lxpq13l/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button OP, what have you done to address your extremely low self esteem and catastrophizing? Therapy? Self-help? Medication? Have you been diagnosed w…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/24 03:07 AM
4

>I still haven't been able to get a man to call me his "girlfriend" or introduce me to his family since then. >we were exclusive, going out together in public, etc., we never even got close to the girlfriend/boyfriend stage Something unusual is going on here. 1) Do you have long-term platonic girl friends? What's the average "tenure" of your current friends? 3) Has anyone in your life ever suggested a reason you might be struggling to get a boyfriend?
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/24 03:04 AM
1

I mean, he's human. Sometimes he's going to be convinced of something that's wrong. It sounds like the real issue is that you're taking him being wrong this particular time personally, like an affront to you. Ask yourself: has he sometimes been wrong about things you also didn't know the answer to? Has he sometimes been wrong and then changed his mind after talking to you? Then clearly this incident is not rational grounds to be offended, since he's not setting himself against you just to be aga…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/24 02:59 AM
3

u/a_girl_with_a_dream Looking at the updated story, the passive aggressiveness isn't the most concerning part. I mean, you were both passive aggressive, although he is carrying it on for longer. The biggest concern is that he displayed *contempt.* Turning the lights off in the room someone is in is just... so far beyond normal behavior. Like a 12 year old's idea of bullying. The fact you brushed over that originally makes me wonder if your previous relationships have had similar animosity? As fo…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/24 02:55 AM
1

Wow, that wasn't my guess. Do you have any idea why? Are y'all in the mindset of "anything to stop a meltdown" with the toddler? Or does he say it was a dumb decision and he was just that mentally compromised himself?
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/24 02:44 PM
2

She's in the hypermobility subreddit. (OP, are you a fellow Zebra?) It's genetic. The EDS set of disorders in particular are hormonally associated with greater symptomology, and things like pregnancy, menstruation, and breastfeeding may make the condition worse.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/24 10:15 PM
2

Yes, it was. You may have been previously bothered from comments from a week or more ago, but that thread very clearly sparked this post. When I looked over your last week of RPW commenting, every single other comment had a normal upvote amount of 1 to 10+. (I was originally thinking you maybe had said something kind of wild and been downvoted to the depths of hell, and was trying to find such a comment.) Your comment was downvoted to 0, meaning one single anonymous person was able to trigger yo…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/24 03:58 PM
1

Who contacted you? Your toddler has full access to call you whenever, or your husband was arranging the call?
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/24 03:24 PM
8

I remember running across an MRP conversation about RPW where they were amused we used downvotes to communicate. It literally just means you're failing the popularity contest. Welcome to high school, biatch! Personally, I suspect we have a high number of hate-lurkers, and wish reddit allowed the upvote/downvote system to become more tailored. Since there's no way to see upvoters and downvoters, there's no possible way to enforce a system change - even communally - since the culprits can't be ide…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/24 03:28 AM
1

Huh, true, I wouldn't merely call that withdrawal. Maybe fullblown dissociation. Or perhaps silent treatment he didn't want to admit is the silent treatment. Are things better for y'all now?
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/24 12:00 AM
6

That's withdrawal, not the silent treatment. Different issue, and not a form of a being passive aggressive.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/24 11:49 PM
22

Anytime anyone does something passive aggressive, you ignore it. Eventually they'll either make a reconciliory action, suddenly start acting normal like nothing happened, or blow up - but they won't continue the behavior that isn't accomplishing anything. People who are passive aggressive are so because their family of origin had a pattern of rewarding passive aggression with attentiveness. Is this a boyfriend, fiance, life partner, husband? What prompts the silence?
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/24 09:48 PM
2

You were arguing with a strawman, not providing context. He's talking about the type who end up claiming they look better than women 20 years younger because they have had plastic surgery.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/24 06:09 PM
3

I'm pretty sure I know the type of "trying to be forever 21," brand-obsessed woman he's talking about and they generally don't do rational things like stay toned, because they're looking for quick fixes and dopamine hits and extensive workouts require discipline. He said focusing on SMV to the exclusion of RMV is the killer trap, not that SMV should be ignored.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/24 05:09 PM
2

Oh, absolutely. Finding the root helps in that it gets the self-story started that can allow you to more easily move on. Something like, "I learned zyx because of these childhood events. Now that I understand this, I will notice when something in life is happening that brings up that old childhood belief, and can choose to reject it if it no longer serves me."
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/24 05:04 PM
4

My husband says if you ask a woman how many children she wants, you may get an answer paired down by rational and financial considerations, but if you ask her how many chickens she wants, that number is the real number of children she would love to have.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/24 04:54 PM
5

You're not likely to find other women who know what Red Pill is (and at least half of those who do aren't STAHMs), so I can't recommend going that route! But if you're looking for women who enjoy STAHM, male-led relationships, your best bet is going to be conservatives. If you're more centrist or leftwing politically, you may have to agree to disagree politically. - Churches always have women's groups. The trick is finding a church with a lot of young families. - Check Facebook for local STAHM m…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/24 04:51 PM
–

Since you believe you have all the details, do you know for certain now it really was "only" emotional affairs? A couple of the scenarios you described sounded like they could have been full-blown physical affairs and I would advise getting a STD panel if you haven't already. The thing about emotional affairs is it indicates a psychological complex moreso than a strong non-monogamous biological drive being the root. And psychological complexes ARE changeable, sometimes even overnight, if the rig…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/24 06:43 AM
–

RP avoids moralizing, so when it speaks of how "bad" something is it is attempting to do so from an evo-psych impact perspective and not from the perspective of any ethics system. (I will also point out a lot of conservative moral system also differentiate between the sexes and even secular American culture is impacted by this, but that's a different topic.) And from an animalistic, evopsych perspective, the raw fact is that male cheating and female cheating are not comparable due to multiple bi…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/24 06:37 AM
4

I tend to advise going a little Fruedian with these kind of things. Being able to receive graciously is a highly valued feminine skill, and at some point in your life its cultivation got disrupted. Did your childhood contain any messages that you were a burden, or it was better to not rely on others, or that good people don't need or ask things of others? Or anything similar?
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/24 06:19 AM
1

Your SO is enmeshed AND currently has no desire to change this. You can do all the standard submission-as-strategy stuff to make sure your SO has as little disrespect in his life as possible and is the most endeared to you as he can be, but once you make sure you're not contributing to your SO feeling beholden to others in general, you're going to have to decide if this is a deal breaker or not.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/24 06:04 AM
2

Do you know what he is into? Sometimes men like taller women because they like their legs, in which case heels are just a bonus. Maybe knowing his preference could help you decide how to feel about it too.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 11:13 PM
5

What you're describing is a very normal mixture of feelings in yourself. Nothing wrong with wanting to kiss, and then not wanting to go further. What this guy did wasn't normal, though. Not only did you say you wanted to stop, but if you were blindsided, he could 100% tell from your body language and expression. A guy can be very attractive in some ways, and make you want to kiss him, and still be of bad character - selfish and demanding and uncaring and, ultimately, dangerous. To be clear, ther…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 04:20 PM
5

Your last three sentences are such a good point. "The first guy you do anything with should be your husband for life or you are Used" and the resulting scarcity mindset is an under-discussed purity culture issue. You get women feeling pressured to marry the first guy they so much as have a coffee date with because of that.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 04:03 PM
3

I knew what you meant! Agreed, 100%. Does that to both sexes, too.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 03:00 PM
4

The girl who has been exposed to some form of what we now call purity culture and the guy with low enough moral qualms to push her where she both does and doesn't want to go is so common it's been a cliche for at least a century. Heck, 'tis the season. Remember the discourse over Baby It's Cold Outside? Same thing. "I can't say Yes because then I'm Bad. Get me to stay even though I don't want social censure and the social rules of the 50's mean I have to say I don't want to." And if she has the …
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 02:49 PM
5

It was clear to me. I'm highly trad con but very anti what is now called "purity culture." I just see so much mental distress - often well into adulthood - and noticeable lack life skills come from the way "sexual chastity" gets taught. And it's so ubiquitous across denominations, too. I was raised around 2000's purity culture and other kids raised in it although I didn't quite absorb it, and this just smells an awful lot like the mental contradictions that happen when a young lady who did absor…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 02:07 PM
-5

All right, I'm going to point out the elephant in the room. Given your 1) religious background and 2) the mental sumersaults you're making to justify this experience (This question is silly. You know perfectly well there is not one person on earth who thinks women should just do whatever any sexually interested man around her tells her to do for no other reason than he's a man, and you know the Bible only talks about submitting to husbands.) ....did part of you want to go further than you were "…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 08:03 AM
1

This kind of thing doesn't have much to do with romantic relationships, and more to do with having the social savvy to recognize when someone is making an excuse that isn't the real reason they aren't doing something. It's possible it's an excuse for "actually I care about you about as much as the gum on my shoe" but it seems more likely he didn't want to admit he was out somewhere or indisposed. Edge cases could be something like fulfilling some intense but private demand coming from another pa…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/24 06:42 PM
6

You do not have a legitimate grievance here. You do have much continued work on your dynamic. It sounds like in the past you've used stubbornness to get your way because you knew he would go along with it (ie, refuse to leave somewhere because he would then give in and stay even if he didn't want to) and were expecting it to work the normal way this time. He reversed the dynamic and pointed out it isn't a healthy resolution - and made it clear he doesnt like this "resolution," given that he's co…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/24 04:40 PM
5

Girl. That's a good reason to go there. Will force you to give up awful, money-sinking habits with bad health outcomes. Does your bf also smoke?
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/24 03:45 PM
12

Do you see why this isn't working? You're not interested in them as a person, therefore they aren't interested in you as a person. And if a man is not interested in you as a person, *then they will never be interested in a relationship. They will only ever been interested in casual sex, if they're into casual sex at all.* And if a man can tell you're not interested in him as a person, even if he's otherwise interested in you, he probably will still turn down a relationship. Right now you're dati…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/24 04:10 AM
29

High sex drive is very attractive to any healthy male. Behaving promiscuously is very unattractive to any male who is looking for a long-term mate. Big difference.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 12:57 PM
2

May I ask how old your children are?
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 12:53 PM
34

I've never heard of a marriage surviving a similar situation, and there is plenty of RP theory to explain why, so I can't point you towards some kind of blueprint to save the situation. However, this is RPW, so I will point out the obvious: if you want continued commitment from a man, you can't be uncommitted to him. Are your finances separated already?
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 04:51 AM
3

From personal experience, I think your fellow rightwing autist women are in Discord groups. However, I second the idea you may have a quicker time finding politically-aligned female friends outside of your STEM intersts. - Get a physical hobby. Or two. The kind generally done in groups that has lots of local meetups. - It looks like you're Catholic from your post history. Make trad girly friends. Don't discount the married ones - their husbands have single male friends you might like. ;)
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/24 06:05 AM
3

They're really not. There's an IQ threshold for meaningful engagement with those interests, and it rules out a major chunk of the population even before the "gender equality paradox," where women are seen avoiding STEM fields to a greater extent in modern Western countries. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender-equality_paradox OP's problem is real. Anecdotally, every single "women's STEM" club/networking group has overt leftwing undertones, which is another problem for OP.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/24 05:57 AM
19

This sounds like major lifestyle incompatibility. He either a) Doesn't give a crap if you go to school or work outside the house. Those things might as well be your personal time and hobbies for all he cares. As far as he cares, your "side" of the relationship is household care, cooking, and potentially future childcare. OR b) He's delusional and wants to have his cake and eat it too: he thinks your "side" is both covering half the financial responsibility of the relationship AND carrying on a s…
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/24 05:53 AM
4

It doesn't come up very often in my writing, but I'm one of the Christian hyper-trads around here. Think skirts-only, no touching - not so much as handholding - before marriage, veiling any time I'm in public, and some pretty extreme anti-divorce opinions. Should I talk to my pastor for guidance? You are so far long overdue for that I'm not even sure what to say. A woman can not, ever, in any way, have "productive conversations" with her husband about his sexual deception. It's psychologically i…
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/24 05:27 AM
8

Hey, I can tell you've had some tough moments experiencing this. This is "on his paper," to use Laura Doyle slang. It's his responsibility to work through this, and watching how he handles this when he's self-aware of it as an issue is an important vetting opportunity. You absolutely can not make these moments disappear. Possibly these moments hint to larger issues that could be fixed, such as the fact he would prefer you not keep "male friend" orbiters and you're insistent on it, but if somethi…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/24 04:30 AM
1

I meant before. If this is coming from men you initially found attractive, that's different than if it's just strangers you weren't even interested in.
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/24 07:03 PM
5

Are these friends? Men you want to date? Men you are dating? All of the above?
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/24 06:59 PM
9

Why is it always the Red Scare Pod girls.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/24 05:55 PM
4

I'm not sure if you've read the original Love Languages book by Gary Chapman, but the entire reason he created the "Love Languages theory" in the first place was because he noticed people tended to do things for others that they wished would be done for them, rather than consciously identify what that particular person would prefer. So nope. Definitely not just you! You've got the first step down: Start showing him affection in the way(s) you know he wants to see. This will help restore a feelin…
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/24 11:56 PM
1

birth control and hormone management, talk therapy, SSRIs, herbal remedies, and more I think you could be onto something about the root being hormonal/neurochemical, but before I go down that path, could you clarify: Are you 'demonic' only with him or with everyone in your life? How about past partners?
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/24 11:43 PM
3

Not trying to label you - I'm an internet stranger after all. Is there something else that could be making you second guess yourself here? Did you used to have someone in your past who complained innocuous things meant you didn't trust them? Did you used to genuinely not trust someone and feel like you were always responsible for making sure things went well? Some other experience?
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/24 10:37 PM
16

Do you consider yourself an anxious person? This sounds like a completely normal interaction, and the second-guessing of yourself, searching for hidden negative motivations, is telling. As for myself in my marriage, I'm sure I have the normal experience of making plan Bs, having plan Bs made for me, not making plan Bs and regretting it, not making Plan Bs and being glad no one wasted the energy, etc. Life will naturally have all of these permutations.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/24 05:48 AM
18

I can't tell, did he actually ignore an evacuation order? It sounds like not, but even if he did... look, he's an adult with free will. He can: Decide to do humanitarian work in an active war zone Run off to Mexico to be a drug mule for the cartel Become a vigilante hunting down child predators Embezzle millions from his workplace Decide the hazard pay is worth the death rates and become a logger by trade Actually ignore an evacuation order to make more money You don't have to agree with everyth…
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/24 03:29 PM
18

Know your niche and put all your eggs in that basket. No reason to play coy about what you want. The trick is knowing what you want.
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/24 05:27 AM
4

The way your edit describes it, this is 100% "him" thing. You can: Learn to completely avoid obvious known trigger topics (that's just rubbing salt in a wound) Possibly employ some STFU and cut down on the number of times you're "just sharing" an opinion you know is in opposition to his. This can sometimes be considered inviting trouble, but our modern social-media world has encouraged constantly talking about whatever we personally think at the moment constantly in a way that doesn't actually a…
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/24 03:36 AM
3

I see now. I apologize for misunderstanding your post history and insinuating you had an "easier" option than you really do. (Though divorce is of course never truly easy.) Before I adjust my advice, I do have one more question. Of these 5/6 instances of cheating you know of, have they all been only talking inappropriately to other women or has he had physical affairs as well?
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/24 04:31 PM
3

Just double checking I understood: - You have a very young daughter with him - You otherwise have no complaints about him and can list many wonderful things about him, he just won't stay faithful Is that accurate?
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/24 04:38 AM
3

Oh yeah that's a thing with SSRIs too but not to the same risk level Edit because the commenter deleted for some reason: There's a minimal decrease in hormonal birth control on SSRIs, but it's much more pronounced with St. John's Wort.
/r/RedPillWives25/09/24 12:46 AM
3

If meds make you uncomfortable, you could try a gentle herbal psychoactive like St. John's Wort which has been repeatedly shown to have similar effects to SSRIs for many people. That said, I've had good experiences with a couple different SSRIs in the past, and never had any weight gain, libido loss, or anything like that while on them. The start can be a little iffy mood wise while your body adjusts, though.
/r/RedPillWives25/09/24 12:08 AM
2

Do you think you may have a Dylan on your hands? The "needing to stay true to himself [by being sexual]" psychobabble smells of a Dylan. Another piece of theory you may find helpful: The 4 Categories of Men Dylans are Category 2 guys disguised as Category 3 guys.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/24 07:10 PM
33

He's made is very clear this isn't something he's going to stop. You need to admit you have two choices: Accept a non-monogamist husband. Divorce. From your post history it seems you don't have children, so fortunately that is not a complication in your decision. (And from a harsh, pragmatic perspective - do you know if the fertility issues have been on his end? Weak male behavior is correlated with reproductive failure at some level.) If you otherwise love him, perhaps you may prefer to be one …
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/24 04:56 AM
1

"*WE* don't want the government involved" "*I* would like to get legally married if we have kids" And are you guys planning on having kids? What does he want to do legally when you have kids? Does he want a STAHM?
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/24 04:00 AM
10

Eh. He checked for sexual interest, you fitness-tested/shit-tested, he failed, you're turned off. You shouldn't continue speaking to someone you don't like, especially when you aren't even dating.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/24 03:48 AM
–

Nun mode is classically recommended when: Your current "purchasing power" on the "sexual market" isn't enough to get the kind of man you want and if done successfully allows you to change the caliber of man you can access. Non-exclusive dating is recommended when: You would benefit from low-stakes dating They're opposite strategies, obviously. Once you've had a bad breakup, and find yourself a little unbalanced emotionally when interacting with new men, you need to decide if this emotional react…
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/24 03:35 AM
2

How long have you two been together? Do you speak of marriage to each other in the future?
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/24 05:29 AM
8

There is no advice that applies to all of the above beyond "be an enjoyable, loyal, respectful partner and your dom will naturally give your earnest expressions of desire more weight." Which you may struggle with since your mindset appears to currently be "I want to be in control of what happens, which means when I'm in the mood to be dominated he will take on all the work and responsibility of dominating me, but when I don't want to be dominated, he will do whatever I want." Which is obviously …
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/24 04:01 AM
13

Yeah, "having your way" can mean anything from spending $100 on a new dish set to telling the in-laws their weekly visits need to stop to moving to another country.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/24 11:53 PM
3

I also have a husband who does not like me to STFU when we disagree. He wants to know my heart is in it and I'm not just pretending. I've started saying, "I do have opinions, but at the end of the day, I trust you and know you're always working toward the best for us, and I don't want to argue my opinion, just trust you right now." It's near impossible for a man to not want to be trusted lol And I do mean it. Even though he's obviously a human who can't be correct 100% of the time, I trust his i…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 06:20 AM
7

Same thing you do if you are a fat guy who isn't willing to change your lifestyle. You date a fellow fat person who also doesn't have discipline and then you spend your life periodically mad at each other for not putting enough effort into life, each other, and your kids you teach to be fat. Or maybe one of your kids gets discipline on their own, turns out not-fat, and can't relate to their family much because of major lifestyle and mentality differences. You still need nun mode first, though. O…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/24 02:50 AM
8

You are absolutely delusional if you think you're going to see any noticeable difference after 8 days. Unless you dehydrate, the only healthy weight loss you're going to see is .5-1 lb, which is well within the range of fluctuation throughout the day, and thus completely disguiseable and very likely to not be noticed. If you're going to ask people for help you should actually put some effort in. Count calories CICO style for 30 days, NO CHEATING, and then come back. ETA: An aggressive cut will g…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/24 09:50 PM
7

...for 8 days?
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/24 09:45 PM
8

What do you mean tried being in nun mode? I thought you posted your nun mode plan a week ago?
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/24 09:19 PM
1

Mine is too little to speak as a mother, but I can speak as a former child. By the time I was 11, my sister and I had split all regular household work except for the bulk of the cooking (we would still help), and Mom did the dishes that needed handwashing until I was a bit older when I picked that chore up. Mom did deep cleaning when needed, and she enjoyed doing little home renovation projects we weren't expected to pitch in on ever. Dad dealt with trash and did the regular yard work, but we di…
/r/RedPillWives15/09/24 03:56 AM
3

Huh. That's honestly one I hadn't heard. But hey, writing styles are never going to be everyone's cup of tea. I know plenty of people hate mine. 🤣 It might be worthwhile to make a, "For anyone struggling with controlling your spouse and the topics LD talks about, but who felt condescended to by LD's style, what author do you prefer?" post. I could see multiple people benefitting from that.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 02:37 AM
27

We get a surprising number of people who want advice on a specific situation but are then too cagey with the details for people to reliably give good advice. "Should I let my partner know someone we both know was flirting with me?" and "Do men find it attractive when women receive attention from other men?" are completely different questions. I can't really imagine a situation in which I wouldn't let my husband (or fiance, or boyfriend) know someone we know was flirting with me, whether a friend…
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/24 12:08 AM
3

Wait, but why would you ask that if her entire post was about how there's a chance for marriage now that he's possibly willing to convert? Are you trying to make her second guess being OK with a convert spouse??
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 07:52 PM
2

I was discussing the religious legal code. A Jewish woman could also to refuse to marry a guy if he's not 6 feet with 6 figures and a fellow Armenian or something. That's just her personal preference. A lot of trads in various religions want someone with a similae multi-generational background to raise kids with, that is true.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 05:07 PM
2

That's only an issue if you're a male kohen, aka part of the patrilineal priesthood, and the prospective woman is a convert. And you're Orthodox in practice.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 05:29 AM
2

It's generally that the Jewish individual wants to know their partner truly wants to be Jewish, and would be Jewish even without them, and that they are marrying a fellow "Jew at heart." As the child of a marriage where one partner truly believed a religious belief structure and the other one struggled to 'go along with it...' there is a special type of pain when this mismatch exists, and it's truly impossible to completely nullify, even through pure passion for the religious spouse. I once knew…
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 05:21 AM
3

Seconding Laura Doyle. Not only is she good at identifying thought patterns that damage the relationship, and good at supplying alternative thought patterns, but she provides direct logical challenge to them - for example, asking if doing the little things required to bring peace and joy to the relationship is more important than arriving to the destination 7 minutes earlier because you fought about which exit to take and were right. She'll make it seem so plain and obvious.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 05:03 AM
9

I've seen data that both sexes in the younger generation have declining interest in marriage and in casual sex (along with various other things traditionally considered life milestones or typical teenage risk-taking). I've seen nothing to suggest women, in particular, have notable declining interest in dating specifically - and I would expect an increase of interest in the less risky, but less committed serial monogamy lifestyle to replace the interest in marriage and casual encounters. The enti…
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 03:35 AM
17

Who claims this and is there any polling or other data to back this up?
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/24 08:48 PM
5

Ah, nevermind my question there, then. The fear of abandonment and intense emotional reactions with resistance to more non-emotional lines of reasoning can sometimes be features of other things but I'm certainly not trying to armchair diagnose. It just made me want to check. Also, to explain my use of "postpartum," I had misread your timeline and thought you were saying you had a 7 month old, not that you had been married for 7 months. Not being postpartum changes things slightly but not signifi…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/24 07:55 AM
3

Well, you're going to need to apologize for that accusation to get the conversation back to a reasonable track. My suggested script had the following components: - reiterate his needs - express your need - express desire for closeness - compliment him - request assurance/sanity check to satisfy your own need for comfort You seem like you're spiraling very intensely right now. Before we continue, is there any other mental health condition in play for you, that you know or suspect, besides anxiety…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/24 07:19 AM
2

I ended up messaging him that he wants to abandon me and his unborn child due to the lack of adventure in his life and that it’s making me feel insecure. Quit point of clarity, you didn't say it like that, right? With the accusing tone and telling him he wants to abandon you? Because my entire point was that he doesn't want to do that.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/24 07:13 AM
22

This completely sounds like he's expressing an emotional state (lack of energy, danger, intensity, etc. of life) not an actual literal plan to go volunteer as an aid worker in a war zone. Reacting as if he is planning on it doesn't help either of you. (Unless he's prone to dangerous, impulsive, high risk decisions, which you seem to indicate he is not.) With a 9 month old myself, I can understand the feeling that diaper life lacks adventure. But if his comment is making you spiral, it might be w…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/24 02:45 AM
1

Please do! I'm not sure if you've read "The Surrendered Wife" yet but it's one of the most commonly recommended books around here, and that's one of her suggested scripts. Hope it goes well! It's similar to Bring Him Your Problem, Not Your Solution strategy.
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/24 07:20 PM
5

Yeah, suggesting women should "live life" until their 30's suggests he's not expecting a woman to spend 8 years devoted to one guy.
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/24 06:54 PM
3

Soft timeline conversation starters ("What do you hope to be doing in 5 years?" "What do you plan to do when you finish school?" "Do you want a family and kids one day?") can be appropriate on a first date and should definitely be brought up before going exclusive. If you don't do this, you can end up devoting months to a guy who doesn't want to marry for another decade. More explicit timeline talk, where you talk about your plans together as a couple, can begin as soon as he passes your vetting…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/24 06:50 PM
-1

Chances are he's not upset at the suggestion, but your tone and implications. Have you been unhappy with previous birthdays? This surely came out whether you meant it to or not in your body language and tenor. This sort of things results in people arguing over something superficial when they're both actually upset about a completely different set of problems (feeling unappreciated or put upon, or disrespected by the problem solving or lack thereof). I actually wouldn't press for XYZ alternative …
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/24 04:44 PM
1

There's some good suggestions here, but I can confirm singles do in fact go to campaign events and rallies hoping to meet singles who share their political beliefs. It does work. Since you're discussing a candidate about half the voting population will go for, though, it can be a very wide spectrum of people to shift through despite the cursory similarity of political beliefs.
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/24 08:31 PM
4

You can't make a relationship work with a rich guy you aren't attracted to. What are you going to do, close your eyes every time you have sex? I'm exaggerating a little, of course, but you'll find yourself subconsciously deprioritizing the relationship-defining act, and over time the relationship will deteriorate. Perhaps you'll get money out of the divorce if the prenup is good and move on to your next target at 35, but who wants that kind of life? 50/50 dating is only a problem when it indicat…
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/24 08:26 PM
2

Technically, I was younger than you, but with an important caveat: I was part of a culture where the average age of marriage is much younger. In that cultural context, I was already at an age where single men would subtly try to figure out what was wrong with me that I wasn't married yet - I generally came off as a lovely woman with good vibes, but they were expecting another side to the coin, or else surely I would have already found a good man! In fact, my husband married at a normal age in ou…
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/24 08:06 PM
–

I'd suggest looking at vitamin levels, hormone levels, thyroid levels, and do a CBC before suggesting talk therapy and hoping for the best. Environmental risk factors would indicate what to look into first (for example, check vitamin D and testosterone levels first if in the PNW).
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/24 07:11 AM
2

None of the steps are really optional for a thriving life, though. So you're not wasting time! It sounds like you 100% have the correct attitude. My advice is to get really specific with all the little steps and to "habit stack" (connect a bunch of habits to something that's an anchor to your day, like flossing when you shower).
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/24 06:56 AM
2

That plan is exactly how I started my life. Got a job. Moved out. Made new friends. Made new hobbies. Learned new ideas. Found husband while exploring new ideas (he was leading a Bible study). I went through a period in young adulthood where I became severely sick and disabled just as my family moved to the other side of the country. This combo caused, over several years, the complete lapse of all my friendships, as I was unable to put any consistent effort in, including basics like a phone call…
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/24 05:01 AM
4

In what universe are men not very excited when a women they find hot pursues them?
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/24 03:17 AM
7

Spend 10 hours a week on a second job, use the money from that to pay for professional MUA classes if you're actually serious. Making learning makeup microtrends a part time job isn't going to help you achieve anything, literally.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/24 11:36 PM
5

I diagnose him with Rambo. But power struggles don't work for women who want their relationship to survive Rambo. That kind of line works for men because women want to have a leader.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/24 10:33 PM
1

Gotcha, confusion of terms. Is that the only thing he's done that seems push-pull? Have you been on an in person date with him?
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/24 10:08 PM
1

Yeah. It's supposed to be a cure for a dead bedroom. First steps are him getting his act together if he's been a slob so that he's even capable of having other women interest. Then it slowly moves up a ladder of demonstrating this, with the intent of nonverbally reminding the woman he's in a relationship with that if she's going to act single so can he, and he'll leave eventually if his partner continues to treat their relationship like a roommate situation. What things is he doing that make you…
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/24 10:04 PM
3

It's not for strong, healthy relationships. It's supposed to be a last-ditch play from a man to give a woman who isn't acting like she's in a relationship the chance to start acting like she's in a relationship before he leaves, but through nonverbal communication instead of giving an ultimatum (which never creates ideal outcomes for either sex). It's also now considered a bit of a crude strategy in the men's field, as it encourages doing things for the reaction of someone else instead of doing …
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/24 09:46 PM
9

Dread game is a Male RP strategy for dealing with a woman you're in a relationship with who isn't acting like you're in a relationship, and it's basically getting your crap together, nonverbally reminding her you're an adult who can leave, and then moving on if she doesn't start acting like she's in a relationship. If you think the guy you started dating is "dreading" you, he's not. He just wants an open relationship or to keep you as a plate and is watching to see if you'll be fine with this. I…
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/24 09:39 PM
4

A couple things here. First on, the OCD front: Full disclosure, but I didn't have OCD centered on relationships; I had OCD about harm and OCD about sexually inappropriate behavior. Pure obsessive, no compulsions. Are you currently in treatment? There's therapy, of course, and then some people, such as myself, get lucky and experienced COMPLETE remission from taking fluvoxamine temporarily. On the therapy front, Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (distinct from regular Dialectical Behavi…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 07:47 PM
13

I'm curious if it ever actually happened or if it's a delusion of victimhood one guy with three alts brought ahout
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 05:06 AM
8

Naturalhair got raided by TRP users once upon a time? Am I reading that assertion correctly?
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 05:01 AM
1

It's biologically late, however you dice it. Cultural norms are an entirely separate matter... though last I heard, US averages were 17/18, which is quite in line with the biological indicators of physical reproductive maturity.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 04:27 AM
3

Late virginity loss being accompanied by mild vaginismus is extremely normal. So is the experience of it "going away" on its own the first couple weeks. A dilator set (and lube) can help hasten the process.
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/24 03:50 PM
–

I'd say proposing and setting a wedding date is a pretty good sign of commitment. What EXACTLY are you asking? How long should you go before commitment? What are signs that a guy is deciding whether or not you're worth commitment? What are signs that a guy is worth committing to? What positive pre-commitment stages look like?
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/24 07:26 AM
2

Orbiter is the term for the guys, by the way. The women "have orbiters" but there's not specific RP slang for the women themselves.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/24 04:24 AM
4

Very much depends on the context. If you've seen that YouTuber (I think? Maybe she began on TikTok?) who dances culturally in a traditional kaftan, you'll know its origins aren't always sexualized (although some cultures that contributed to the modern "belly dance" genre definitely involved sexualized fertility dances). But one of my best friends competes at a national level in the belly dancing world and the guys at the restaurants are definitely... enjoying the show. The outfits are bedazzled …
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/24 08:28 PM
11

Ah, it's been a minute since we had someone in here wrestling with a sexualized/male-attention heavy career choice and a man. Last time it was a model, I believe. The fact of the matter is, if you want a man who will be OK with you publicly belly dancing (or modeling semi-nude, or waitresses at Hooters, or anything else designed to make men look) he's going to have a certain set of personality traits and not have a different set of personality traits. I'm willing to bet there are things about yo…
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/24 08:19 PM
2

So I've been told. Now that I'm thinking about it, that might be why I've seen a number of names on ribs - they're a smaller tat than many other options. Easier to sit through.
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/24 08:04 PM
3

In answer to your question: it's pessimistic to start contemplating breaking up before even having the conversation. ;) One failure point I do see with timeline communication a lot is that men often say "I'll be ready to marry in 20XX" meaning they'll be ready to propose then, while women say "I'll be ready to marry in 20XX" and mean they want a proposal a year before so they can have a wedding in 20XX. Something to keep in mind.
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/24 04:03 AM
22

I think Googling the type of tattoo you want and going to the images page, or "[tattoo type] placement," will give you a bird's eye view of what's common. FWIW, my gut instinct was your husband ain't exactly wrong, and when I Googled "lesbian tattoo" there were a fair number of lesbian pride/lesbian love tats on the outer upper arm/triceps area. "Husband's name tattoo" pulls out a lot of inner forearm/wrist tats, some chest tats, and some nape tats, and I didn't see the upper arm tats that the o…
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/24 03:58 AM
4

She was being sarcastic. There is exactly zero you can do unless he wants to. If he continues, is this a deal breaker?
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/24 10:53 PM
11

It's not surprising that from the age of 19 to 25 your goals for a relationship change. Since you've been together 6 years, and he's now 30, he absolutely knows whether or not he sees you as a wife and future mother of his children. Does he also want a marriage and children? Have you discussed timelines yet, or are you just hoping that he'll decide to take action at some point? You're correct you can't change him. But that path you should take from here varies sharply depending on whether your l…
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/24 06:55 PM
10

Lots of good stuff here. A classic I haven't seen mentioned yet: All his exes are "crazy." Either they are, in which case he has no idea how to choose who to be around, or they aren't, and he's the problem.
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/24 05:12 PM
1

in order to be a RP wife, your man must first do his duty Wrong. RP is a set of tools. People who are happily married, unhappily married, single, engaged, etc. need to rely more heavily on different tools based on where they are and their current goals. NEVER does RP claim you should go away if you're unhappy with the state of your relationship. I'm quite shocked to see this written, in fact, because most of the writing aimed at married women around here is about how to maintain a good dynamic s…
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/24 04:18 PM
0

This isn't a boyfriend. She's post-commitment, not pre-commitment. The mindset you're suggesting is poisonous to approaching a marital problem in a way that's likely to get results. "What do I get out of this?" is helpful when evaluating whether or not to continue with someone you're dating. "How do we get back to where we were and the behavior set that made me want him?" is what you should be asking if you're post-commitment and married.
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/24 04:06 PM
1

So obviously his best was not shining through here, and that's frustrating. We want to get the most supportive, understanding version of our spouses possible, especially after stresses (like a compounding lack of sleep). Have you read Laura Doyle's The Surrendered Wife? It's written to help with situations EXACTLY like this. I'm going to borrow a couple concepts from her here. Someone else already mentioned "self care," which is a big Laura Doyle push (she recommends 3 acts of purely self-care a…
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/24 03:41 PM
1

IMO mental health is a "buy matching luggage" issue. There are a lot of "buy matching luggage" issues that could and even should be full-stop red signs for women are are not carrying matching luggage.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 11:17 PM
6

My sister is dating one of those right now. He works customer service at a self storage lot at 30. Although, to be fair, with the way my sister is, I don't know if he's telling her he will make her a SAHM or if she's choosing to hear what she wants to hear, which also happens a LOT with women who stay with these men.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 11:16 PM
5

Better to do it now, and then he can have his home trip on his own terms, and you won't have an awkward in between time where mentally you are single but you haven't broken up with him yet. Regardless of whether the relationship is in person or long distance, not telling family and friends after 8-12 months is beyond red flag territory. If you're not public, you're not exclusive. Not having plans to close the distance gap is also a huge issue, and when combined with the above, completely destroy…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 04:29 PM
7

OP, you say you "asked a doctor," but did you specifically talk to a psychiatrist? Doctors are often surprisingly obtuse outside their specialties.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/24 02:17 AM
7

"Let's say I was incapable of winning the commitment of the level of man I desire." You become capable of winning the commitment of the level of man you desire. Never has anyone here ever claimed anyone can get what they want without working for it. In your hypothetical example that would mean losing weight, learning to cook from YouTube, changing your media consumption (and people consumption) to elevate your mindset, taking an actual makeup class (because no YouTube video can help you understa…
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/24 12:14 AM
1

RemindMe! 2 weeks
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/24 09:13 PM
6

Girl game suggestion on how to deal with your fiancé: don't take those comments as a complaint. Use them as an opportunity to joke and flirt, with a cheeky smile and a pinch of his bicep. "It's not my fault you seemed too good to be true. You should have just been less hot." "I was waiting for you to figure out you're out of my league, but lucky me, you still haven't noticed!" "I have a confession. Those dates weren't other guys. They were my lesbian hookups. You made me break all their hearts."…
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/24 09:03 PM
9

There's not remotely enough information here for internet strangers to tell you whether or not to change jobs. But I can tell you it sounds like you're due for a conversation with your fiance that you're probably avoiding!
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/24 04:01 PM
1

Do you have kids?
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/24 01:00 AM
1

College age as in 18 or 22?
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/24 05:12 AM
7

OK, I'm seeing now that the long distance Muslim and the guy you had the pregnancy scare with are the same... but definitely not the others, like the guy who could read you really well and could tell things that surprised you because you hadn't told him. The timeline is off. (Bonus, noticed the line about turning men down because you know they're taken.) My point is there's plenty of superficial attention, just not usually from men you want to be in a relationship with. You mention having more l…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/24 02:42 PM
1

OK, every two weeks is frequent enough to maintain a real relationship... not closing the distance for a total of two years is a bit more dicey of a plan, but not a solid enough concern for my assessment to change. Then you have your answer. The technique I suggested - reframing her existence as flattering rather than a threat - is from CBT. IMO therapists are highly overrated, but studies show CBT workbooks have the same rate of positive effects as working with a therapist. Maybe a CBT workbook…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/24 02:16 PM
29

You "can't attract men" but - have a post history discussing at least 4 different men's interest in you, including a pregnancy scare - say things like you are "able to tell when men on the street like you" and "men are interested until they realize they can't take advantage of you" - sold nudes successfully enough to make enough money that the reality of getting a real world job was rough If you think the issue is looks you're in cuckcuckland. This is almost certainly about where you spend your …
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/24 02:08 PM
12

So this doesn't sound like a submissiveness issue (and I would caution against ever being full-on submissive to a boyfriend you haven't completed vetting, but again, not a submissiveness issue) at all, and I'm a confused why you're phrasing it that way. Perhaps you could elaborate. Or maybe it was a poor word choice; I'll try to address what sounds like the actual problem. You set boundaries. He has been nothing but respectful of them. You're still unhappy. You are starting fights even though he…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/24 04:47 AM
17

I'm in a dual RedPill-aware marriage, so I may be uniquely qualified to answer this. It's extremely common for one partner to use RedPill without informing the other, but that's not the case for us. We both found Red Pill while we were single. he started praising me a lot I don't have to change anything and he wants us to grow together it's left me feeling super insecure which I think is the opposite effect that he meant to have It sounds like he sees a lot of traits he wants in a long-term part…
/r/RedPillWives20/08/24 03:05 AM
1

I'm aware my sentence structure was more complicated than "See Spot run," but try reading that again.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/24 02:44 AM
2

What do you think I consider wrong with truerateme?
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/24 07:44 PM
14

Look, I'm just going to point you to our pinned posts. Your interaction with RP theory has clearly been the shallow end of a particular viewpoint. I don't feel like rehashing RP 101 right now (maybe some others will) but if you're genuinely interested in RP theory to serve the female imperative, start with the pinned posts. And please don't go to truerateme again.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/24 04:00 PM
16

What do you do that isn't work? When I was single, I was in a male dominated field (tech) at a company whose clientele field was also male dominated (trades) and often had overtime, but I never felt defined by that. I saw friends multiple times a week, had both active and creative hobbies, cared for plants and pets, was very involved in my religious community, kept politically active for causes I believed in, and traveled occasionally. I dressed modestly and cutely, cooked all the time instead o…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/24 11:18 PM
20

Whether you're consciously aware of it or not, you're saying you want to wait around for them to break up and then swoop in. Don't do that. For many reasons. There are lots of cool guys out there who could be actually interested in you. Focus your energy on locating those.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/24 12:42 AM
8

That's the national average split. College dating expectations had a shift alongside the gender ratio shift for sure.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/24 09:47 PM
1

That's just being a functioning human. I'm not sure why you'd mention things that don't interfere with childcare as a "but" to being a STAHM. Unless you were specific he, as I did, probably assumed you meant your "other interests" would get in the way of what most people consider being a STAHM, if you phrased them as a "but." Or he's roleplaying a stepford wife fetish. What's your industry?
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/24 06:55 PM
5

I want a SAHM I want to mostly be a STAHM, but maybe work sometimes if I want to and have interests that would require frequent childcare arrangements Ehhhhhhh obvious not quite happy signs This guy is so opaque about what he wants! If you got enough info from your pre dating chat to know a date isn't worthwhile, he's being open enough. It sounds like you have good questions to clarify what "level" of STAHM someone might be looking for that would lead to quickly revealing lifestyle differences. …
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/24 04:19 PM
5

That's also my experience, that the folks who want that specific lifestyle are quite open about it. They have to be to find a match. You have that lifestyle discussion within a couple dates and when you realize you have different lifestyle preferences, you move on. "I want the linen apron butter churning homeschooling lifestyle but don't want a guy who is insane, what do I look out for?" would require paying attention to subtleties. Not wanting the lifestyle at all makes things easy. Your situat…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/24 04:00 PM
11

There aren't a lot of guys who want a butter-churning homesteader, and fewer still who would not want their wife to have friends. Have you actually ever run across this kind of situation or are did you read that one article about the ballerinafarms influencer and make up a fear?
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/24 03:39 PM
2

I think you're interpreting communication more literally than intended. Classmate didn't want more gifts from people whose energy could be better spent assisting her emotionally. That doesn't mean she wouldn't be happy if a stranger handed her a $50 bill in the street and told her it was a random act of kindness, or if someone she knew who was never going to be there on an emotional level handed her a gift card.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/24 12:24 AM
2

RIP. Female social matrix primer might be useful to you. https://theredpillroom.blogspot.com/2012/05/female-social-matrix-introduction.html https://theredpillroom.blogspot.com/2012/06/female-social-matrix-playground-rules.html Me: (after thinking for a second, in a gentle voice) But do you need to do something to support her, or do you need to do something to make yourself feel better? In girl world, your "friends" are defined as the people who don't criticize you. When you start criticizing the…
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/24 12:18 AM
–

Gaslighting is not a synonym for objective lying. It refers to the deliberate attempt to convince someone their sensory input and/or memories are unreliable. Originally it specifically meant doing so for the primary purpose of creating a malleable victim reliant on the gaslighter for their perception of objective reality, not primary for other reasons such as pride or avoiding consequences. It was the domestic equivalent of tactics used in actual torture and brainwashing. The professional defini…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/24 06:02 PM
3

The anxiety from both of y'all is palpable. I'm afraid y'all've turned on each other instead of facing the unknown of an unplanned child together. A lot of the commenters are just mirroring your own anxiety back at you. Please don't give ultimatums ("Do X or this isnt going to work!"), start suggesting family plans you would both hate (50/50 chore splits, you continuing to work), or try to wrest control from him ("My name goes on everything! I get final say on whether or not to spend something!"…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/24 04:56 PM
4

OK. So you are both on board with the idea, at least, of you not working for 3-5 years after the baby is born? You two had not previously combined finances. You want to maintain access to your premarital savings account, with full (sole?) control of spending it while otherwise combining finances that he would oversee the spending of? He wants you to spend down your savings before combining finances, and calls having your own private savings while otherwise combining finances being a gold digger?…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/24 02:11 PM
7

Traditionally (American), he buys you an engagement ring. The wedding bands are usually matching (not necessarily identical but matching) and purchased together these days. They may also be part of a set the engagement ring jeweler sells, or the bride's band may be made to custom fit the engagement ring. The who-pays question for wedding bands is mute for couples combining finances. My husband purchased my silver engagement ring from a place that did matching bands for their rings. He ended up p…
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/24 08:40 PM
3

This isn't about your situation. If you're agreeing that the problem isn't that he's a cheating risk, but rather that the lying causes greater concerns, just different ones than I was outlining, fine. Fortunately she has described 0 gaslighting, which is quite rare and would fall Beyond the Scope of RP IMO as it is a particularly nasty form of psychological warfare. You seem to think I'm saying his age means he is immature. I'm not. I'm saying his lack of growth beyond a small child's manipulati…
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/24 07:51 PM
10

This doesn't sound like a cheating risk per se. That's not the problem. The problem is he is 23 and using the middle school "I got hacked" line and the elementary "tell four different stories as if expecting someone to actually believe one of them" strategy. He literally doesn't have the social skills to lie like a 20-something. There's absolutely no way he is mature enough to be realistically committing to marriage, and he would need to be mature indeed to evaluate the realistic downsides of a …
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/24 06:07 PM
2

Hahaha I knew she already had stars and swear I checked, but clearly my eyes skipped her flare Congrats on becoming our first six-star member, Rose 😂
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/24 11:18 PM
3

Beautiful example of STFU strategy working in action! My sincerest congratulations. Here's to a lovely future for the two of you. 🥂 u/ArdentBandicoot Can we give OP here a star?
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/24 10:44 PM
3

Business to business, ie, not sales to consumers. It's usually the business to consumer sales that are commission only, from what I've seen. Never seen a commission only b2b position because the pipeline timeline is too long. My husband had technically only held business to consumer positions in sales, but had built TONS of b2b experience while working on his company, so he finessed that into being a b2b position for a startup that got overleveraged and closed when interviewing. (Sometimes you h…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/24 08:31 PM
9

Oh, EXACT same story here. He does b2b sales in the meantime. Base is only like 50k or something but OTE is far higher. Has your husband been applying mainly to software sales? That market is way oversatured at the moment and pivoting will probably help. (If anyone remembers me saying my husband had started a second business to give us personal cash flow late 2022, it was doing magnificently quickly until that niche market made a sharp turn. He decided on something more stable after the baby was…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/24 08:14 PM
5

I'm willing to bet his career is not the only area of y'all's shared life where controlling tendencies are creeping in, although you may not be aware of it. First things first, have you read the Queen of wives releasing controlling habits, and the top recommended author around here, Laura Doyle? The Surrendered Wife would be an excellent read for you if you haven't already. Don't be turned off by the title; think of 'surrendered' in the Buddhist sense.
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/24 02:12 PM
–

She reportedly now works as a “life coach” I assume all female life coaches have this as their back story until proven otherwise
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/24 03:49 AM
2

How long were you long distance, and how far into being long distance did this occur?
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/24 03:37 AM
12

Self improvement isn't exclusive to nun mode. Nun mode is for when you're completely incapable of attracting even the initial attention of men who meet your minimum standards. Otherwise, having the feedback of interacting with men is helpful for self improvement, not detrimental.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/24 02:43 AM
2

Story from the opposite end of the financial spectrum, because that mentality exists across the entire culture. I am not a personal financial planner. But in college, word got out that I was "good with money" and several of my classmates asked me to help them make a budget. Some were really receptive and fast-acting, and had just never had someone show them how to break spending down into categories before. "Oh wow, I had no idea I was spending so much on subscriptions. I'll cancel all of those.…
/r/RedPillWives02/08/24 07:39 PM
7

Hahahahah. Oh man, this was a read. Interesting to see other culture's perspectives and assumptions. The answer is that you simply don't understand the functions and norms of the American economy and social structure. How could you, unless you grew up in it? To preface, this is not to be taken as insinuating superiority. Our birth rate is proof there's something wrong with the way we structure things. This is simply a presentation of reality. Hiring help is even more expensive than you are imagi…
/r/RedPillWives01/08/24 11:46 PM
5

So are you saying... you're contemplating leaving your partner because he doesn't want another kid, and giving up on finding another man who does want kids, and being a single Mom?
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/24 07:28 PM
8

Ok. In case you needed confirmation, your marriage was absolutely a manic decision on his part; people just don't do that without also planning to simultaneously move in together. It sounds like you're telling yourself you two have matching luggage because you're "both bipolar." In reality, there is both a clear severity difference (your episodes were PMS based and weepy/whiny, his are relationship-destroying) plus yours are well-managed while his are WILLFULLY under-managed. This is not matchin…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/24 06:08 PM
1

I mean, did y'all live together while married. I'm trying to figure out if you briefly moved in together and he has moved out, or if you got courthouse married with the intention to move in together later and have not done so yet.
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/24 04:43 PM
5

So he's not medication compliant. Is your bipolar well-managed? Do you have uncontrolled periods of management refusal? Are you bipolar I or II? How about him? to having one fight and immediately gives up and is ready to throw the towel Yeah, episodes are often brought on my triggers, and they don't have to be big. The classic mania trigger is purposefully or accidentally staying up or getting less sleep one night, and then boom, mania begins the next day. A fight is a very not surprising episod…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/24 04:22 PM
13

"My husband with bipolar is acting different!" Yeah. That's how bipolar works. You know two facts. 1) He is bipolar and 2) per his therapist, he may break up with you due to depressive periods. If you don't want this, you shouldn't be with him. It's that simple. Mania and depression in true bipolar both typically last many weeks to several months. I suggest learning more about the disorder. He's not going to be able to magically cure himself in order to be with you, so you're going to have to de…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/24 03:42 PM
1

On the first or second date you have the "What are your plans for the future" conversation. Use some common sense here - a 25 minute coffee date where you're just trying to figure out if you even like each other may not get to actual conversation. But it's definitely appropriate by the first dinner date, even if that's the first date. "What are your plans for the future" opens the door to discuss desired: - Career Progression - Location - Family Which are all often major deal breakers.
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/24 03:04 AM
1

Fine, I'll bite. What was rude?
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/24 09:16 PM
8

To help you out, here's how the script was supposed to play out. He hints about meeting his friends. You say you'd like that and say you'd like to introduce him to your friends as well. Sometime in the next week, one of you invited the other out with friends. The other then reciprocates the following week. Things go from there, and since your relationship is being made public, it's mutually understood you're boyfriend and girlfriend even if it hasn't been stated before the moment you say, "Hey g…
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/24 08:32 PM
14

This is what I mean when I say men make decisions fast. After 1.25 months, he's seen enough that he wants to start intertwining lives, wants you to know he would be a good Dad, is mentioning meeting parents, DIRECTLY TELLS YOU HE WANTS TO BE EXCLUSIVE AND ISN'T INTERESTED IN OTHER WOMEN, puts the ball in your court to define the relationship... ...and you tell him he's at best a casual date. Maybe even friend zoneable. I realize he might’ve been trying to see how seriously I take him Ya think? H…
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/24 08:13 PM
2

By the way, we're all talking about your description as if guys even read that half the time which they really don't. Your photos might be more telling. What is your first photo? What are you doing/wearing in it? Is it flirty?
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/24 07:28 PM
3

She meant Mucinex. Like the cold medication. It thins mucus, so it can help the consistency of cervical mucus in some cases.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/24 04:16 PM
5

Highly, highly recommend this book - quite literally for all women, whether trying to conceive, trying to avoid conceiving, or even single. I thought I was well-educated about my reproductive cycle, and compared to what folks usually learn from sex ed classes, I was. But I learned so much more from this. Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0062326031
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/24 04:15 PM
11

Be honest. Were you high when you wrote these comments?
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/24 05:33 AM
9

It's vibing that your highest desire in life is to have novel experiences. You want disposable income so you can have fun, and that's about it. Now, this may be true. But it's giving high maintenance and lack of central purpose. Most guys who also have a profile indicating having fun is their main goal are not exactly looking for marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/24 01:24 AM
9

is it wrong Yes, of course. You would never do this to a girl friend! Your husband has earned more respect, not less, than other friends.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/24 05:51 PM
3

You can't talk someone into liking something they thought they would like but don't care for in practice. What is talking to him supposed to accomplish?
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/24 05:50 PM
2

Thanks for commenting! I'm very curious - in your country, how long is it normal to be dating at the level of receiving an allowance before getting married?
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/24 03:52 PM
4

I agree with this, actually, despite advocating the rule of thumb that expecting notable financial investment while dating is absurd. Any guy knows why a girl is with a man over decade her senior and it's not his personality lol
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/24 02:54 PM
6

Others think this is small and petty too, I guess. Hope this was informative
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/24 02:36 PM
1

Then literally what is your question? Who are you debating?
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/24 02:04 PM
3

You're asking the wrong question. "Ladies, do you think it's ok to fight your partner on a small preference, like who 'should' pump gas when out?" Obviously the answer is no. Don't use everyone's responses here as justification to continue knocking up against your partner and failing to take a chance to endear yourself to him. They answered your question literally, on personal preference, without putting themselves in your shoes.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/24 03:22 AM
8

There are multiple "feel good" hormones. Female sexual experience is oxytocin (bonding) dominated, while male sexual experience is dopamine (happy energy) dominated. The physical sensation of an ejaculating penis can be pleasurable, releasing feel good hormones. However, if you merely place semen in a woman with no sex, as far as I'm aware of there's not a chemical composition of the semen itself that causes the hormonal release. Perhaps he read something about the moment of male ejaculation bei…
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/24 09:19 PM
8

OP, you posted this elsewhere, where people assumed this was part of some broader argument about whether to use condoms or not and you didn't correct them. Is that the case?
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/24 08:24 PM
7

She's saying allowances are normal for girl friends in MENA countries. Since my personal knowledge of MENA cultures is limited to Israel, which is more European in nature, I can't comment. I am dubious, though I could see it potentially being the case in a conservative country that if a gf is giving wifely duties (sex) a bf is expected to mind his husbandly duties (providing a roof over her head). Can some MENA girlies let us know if this is for real or delulu?
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/24 07:17 PM
2

Do you have college debt?
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/24 08:59 PM
11

These tips are all solid, but please don't use a "cutesy" line like those examples. Way too easy for that to come off terribly. No TikTok slang or mention of your Mom allowed anywhere in your dating profile. A standard, "I dream of having kids and a dog" or whatever is just fine and gets the job done.
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/24 08:42 PM
7

Very understandable! All you need to know for a first date: -Dress femininely (skirt/dress, hair down) and nicely. -Enjoy yourself. -Be gracious. -Ask him about himself. -Be forthcoming when he asks you about yourself; no one-word answers, for example. -Text a few hours afterward (or the next morning) to say you enjoyed yourself and thank him for the date, if you did.
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/24 08:27 PM
–

Commenting so you know it's not just Delia thinking this (and why other commenters are recommending Nun Mode). If you tell a guy with your actions that you don't want a serious relationship with him (by telling him you wanted to have an open relationship at one point, and other behavior)... And then he responds by not acting like the relationship is serious (by avoiding conflict any way he can instead of working through it like you would need to for a long-term relationship)... He's not being ab…
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/24 03:48 PM
29

He hasn't asked because men care about that far, far, far less than women do. My husband married me knowing that I had zero debt, but having never asked how much savings I had. It was enough for a modest downpayment on a house. Pleasant surprise for him, but not even important enough to have asked about. My general responsibility was important enough to ask about, and that was covered by learning I never carried debt. He'll ask when he wants to know. You just say you're applying to X-type jobs (…
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/24 03:41 PM
4

Due to cultural context and knowing each other already, we knew we were only dating to find a future husband or wife and father or mother of our children. We mostly talked finances and if our religious views were compatible on the first date (and we fed a wild turkey we ran across). We discussed things like how many kids, the kids' education, and how long a timeline before marriage we wanted 1-2 weeks in.
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/24 03:31 PM
8

So I wrote this... Height was literally the original example of Regression Toward the Mean. Your kids will be fine. Slightly closer to average than he is, statistically. Your kids will face hardship in life, which may or may not include bullying no matter what their height is, just by existing. Your job as a parent is to give them to tools needed to help overcome that hardship, not obsess over tiny possibilities that could maybe maybe maybe become a problem. ...and then I looked up the average h…
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/24 06:03 PM
9

OK. So he has long-term, debilitating mental health issues. You are not married, or engaged, after 5 years. You are burnt out on caretaking. What has HE done to take care of himself? The treatment ladder for depression is fairly well-established. A two-pronged pharmacological and psychotherapeutic approach is standard. If a medication or therapy modality isn't panning out, you try another one. Along the way you rule out other biological causes, like a vitamin deficiency, anemia, a thyroid proble…
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/24 08:07 PM
6

RP has roots in evolutionary psychology. I imagine researchers are highly motivated to keep their personal lives private for a variety of reasons, and that any evo-psych academics whose study has influenced their relationships keeps this to themself. However, maybe you don't mean formal academic writing. Do you mean science-based theory posts about RPW strategy, like the ones that are more easily found in the men's RP sphere? EDIT: Are you a man?
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/24 06:42 PM
3

So is this what I deserve? We don't do morality here. It is, however, my observation that people usually put themselves in the positions they are in. Should I take accountability and accept that I will have to share my boyfriend and that he will never love or look at me the same way? I don't understand why you think taking accountability requires you to stay in this position. If you move on and don't take accountability, you'll put yourself in the exact same position with another guy. So you do …
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/24 05:08 PM
2

His “multiple businesses” will likely fail. He’s in for a rude awakening when real life hits. This is an assumption. There is, unfortunately for OP, a very real possibility she missed on out a happy family life with an ambitious and capable entrepreneur. That does not mean all hope is lost for her life, far from it. But eating sour grapes won't help her move forward.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/24 04:53 PM
20

Lose the chip on your shoulder. You failed to inspire a proposal but you are valuable enough to have negotiated it. Quit punishing him for doing something you wanted him to do. Hosting and event logistics are, in most Western countries, a skill absorbed by osmosis in female social circles. He desires a family wedding. You have the knowledge base to make it happen. You are currently withholding your skillset, which could be adding value to his life AND yours (by getting to the "now married" part …
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/24 04:38 PM
1

So is that why you posted? Looking for reasons to calm your anxiety? I would advise you to modify your original post if so. Asking about age is just going to get a bunch of people talking about what the best age for their situation was, or people talking about it from a biological perspective (if you're a young teenager maternal mortality is high, if you're over 35 the rate of complications noticeably increases, etc). Possibly a sociological perspective, but the West has been built in such a way…
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/24 07:42 AM
3

Therapy helps for a specific subculture and accompanying life philosophy. A lot of therapy is a (very much needed) stand in for the social isolation of modern Western norms. For the most part, "living enough life" accomplishes the same for everyone else.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/24 12:57 AM
6

Baby gestational size is more influenced by the mother's genetics for that very reason. I have a 6ft+ husband with a 6ft+ family (even some of the women!). My MIL delivered 9 and 10 pound babies. Being petite, I was more than a little worried. I had a dead-average newborn, a few ounces off the size I was born at.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/24 11:30 PM
5

Squats for the labor process itself, actually. My midwife apparently tells people to do one bodyweight squat a day per week of pregnancy. 😂 Although I think anyone who does serious weight training would already be able to exceed the maximum of that routine no problem.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/24 10:36 PM
8

So are you wanting advice on how to physically or emotionally prepare? It's really far more simple than it may feel like it should be. Physically, it's ideal to start prenatals a month or two in advance of trying because the folate is most needed during the early weeks when you may not even be aware you're pregnant yet. Lower body strengthening will make labor easier, but you can do that while pregnant so it's not really something you have to 'prepare' for. If you have other concerns, like a his…
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/24 08:52 PM
34

The fact you say you aren't ready now but might be in two months makes me think your concerns have nothing to do with age and are more emotional in nature. Could you elaborate on what made you say that? (Also, she's married per her profile for everyone else.)
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/24 07:44 PM
6

So there are definitely guys who will act like they know what they want and say whatever early on, and only admit they are "figuring things out" later, but some of your phrasing makes me think this question might be important: Did you actually ask questions about what he wanted of the future EARLY on? Family, kids, career goals, where he wants to live, the kind of family lifestyle he desires, etc?
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/24 07:25 PM
7

So it sounds like you're comparing your situation, where you had no physical concerns, but you and your husband were so busy with life and stresses and external demands that neither of you got around to really wanting PIV, to OP's where she is feeling physically unable to have PIV despite both her and her husband wanting and preferring (from her other comments) that kind of sex. Your story doesn't have anything relevant for OP then. "I'm having these problems." "Well, I didn't have either of tho…
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/24 04:50 AM
7

I have to push back here. Having to wait 4-5 months after a supposedly uncomplicated vaginal delivery to have PIV indicates some issue went undiagnosed or dismissed by your care team, which is unfortunately common, but should not be normalized. (Similar to how many other kinds of pelvic dysfunction, like urinary issues, that can be treated are instead normalized for postpartum women.) Many women are not lucky enough to have their difficulty self-resolve within 4-5 months, and we should not be te…
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/24 01:46 AM
10

Assuming end of May, and a normal amount of tearing, you might be in a similar situation to where I was 8 weeks postpartum. I had the "sensation" that I could only describe as "not being healed." However, objectively, the stitches had long dissolved and everything appeared fine. 6 weeks is supposed to be the "playing it safe" date for return to PIV and continued problems are definitely cause to talk to your OBGYN or a pelvic PT. And if you get dismissed, get new ones. The work of finding a docto…
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/24 11:45 PM
5

On the flipside, some girls actually think it’s “needy” if a guy text back the next day. I have no idea why. that seems kind of “judgy” to me. Attractive, dominant guy texts back next day: Ooh, he's decisive and quick to take action. Unattractive, passive guy texts back the next day: Ew, he's desperate and clingy.
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/24 05:41 PM
5

Yeaaaah that's what I'm talking about here. Loving someone requires some level of emotional energy. Declaring you will always spend emotional energy on someone forever, even if they betray you, violate the terms of your marriage, or become otherwise abusive to yourself or others, and you have to sever your life from theirs, is not a healthy psychological position. I think you already know someone "uncontrollably" hung up on their ex at some unconscious level isn't in a place to move forward in t…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/24 06:10 PM
4

You mean insist on the "coffee at his place" that you (rightly, honestly) think means he wants a hookup? Or are you listening to the people who down-talk even legitimate coffee dates?
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/24 04:07 PM
10

So in other words, he loves you as long as his boundaries are respected? That's conditional love and it's what healthy, mature adults do. In his case, the number of children you would have was clearly not a condition of your marriage... while fidelity is.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/24 07:15 AM
37

Children and dogs have unconditional love. Any man or woman who does is not a competent adult. If you believe your own love is unconditional, you either have poor self insight or a lack of emotional boundaries. However... I'm genuinely surprised a fairly normal conversation where you and a partner discovered you had very different life priorities regarding children, he pressed to see how firm you were in your difference from him, you confirmed you were indeed firm, and then you parted ways, is w…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/24 07:11 AM
2

These friends of yours you're comparing yourself to who are getting married... Are they in other towns, or active in their religious communities, or were they always more confident and consequently more willing to put themselves out there, dress cute, and look or flirt?
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/24 03:59 AM
3

I was suspicious you had body dysmorphia even before I saw your post history. PCOS isn't an intersex disorder. It won't drop your voice or give you a brow ridge or an Adam's apple. Its main aesthetic effects are that you are short, get big boobs, need heavy duty odor control, and have to shave like a middle eastern girl even if you're white. Unless you're sabotaging yourself out of insecurity (cutting your hair short, wearing baggy clothes, etc.) no one is thinking you're masculine looking if yo…
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/24 08:42 PM
12

You never seen a methhead couple? 2's marry 2's all the time, so you'll definitely see 4's marry 3-5's. 6's, even, in some cases. If you're struggling, you're either: 1) Not positioning yourself to encounter the guys you can have OR 2) Unable to obtain the guys you WANT because your current offering isn't up to par Both are fixable, though not by jealousy scrolling sm wedding photos or listening to Andrew Tate.
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/24 02:08 PM
2

He wrote Christian material for a while but vanished from that too. It was sad to watch him sink so deeply into a scarcity mindset after converting. It seems like he got into the toxic humility side of Orthodoxy.
/r/RedPillWives18/07/24 05:24 AM
3

Unfortunately, like sticks to like. Learn to say no and not live in drama, and you'll realize you can, in fact, "keep your distance" from people who live in drama.
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/24 05:17 AM
20

Learn how to vet boyfriends better.
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/24 08:43 PM
7

Of course your mom is correct it's more common to be the other way. Doesn't mean anyone likes or thrives under what is common - do you think most people are thriving, loving their life? What I see repeatedly, even here where we strive for the male-led relationship dynamics that sexual synergy burns under, is that women don't want to hold up their end of the deal with a man who takes FULL responsibility for all aspects of the household. He can't very well take care of you if you fight him every s…
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/24 03:46 PM
16

You're meh on him BECAUSE he "worships the ground you walk on." You instinctively know this means he's likely to be insecure, lack an internal locus of control, and make short-sighted priorities. Go find a guy who isn't delusional about you and you'll have a better life.
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/24 11:49 PM
8

I was guessing Hawaii because the hobbies, the history interests in particular, sounded very American. But I have no idea where in the world dead volcano basins you can swim in are found. But yeah. If you're rocking a 95th percentile IQ finding a partner who isn't intimidated while in braindrainsville is going to be rough. And if men are genuinely intimidated, they're processing her as a threat - masculine - rather than a feminine source. "Oh, all the men are just intimidated by you!" as an expl…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 09:25 PM
2

I'd try initiating, lightly, when it's pretty obvious it's not for conceiving and see how he responds. If you know he's turned off by planned/semi-planned sex, you definitely don't want you initiating tied to the idea of planned sex. If it becomes part of y'all's general sex life no matter where in the cycle you are, you'll have more leeway. I certainly understand your trepidation to try initiating after a negative response. Still, I do think it would be more likely to work if you spontaneously …
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 08:45 PM
4

Hm. Rural community where the guys like anime and gaming. I have a theory about what's actually going on here. Did you take the SAT or PSAT in high school? Would you mind sharing your score? Pardon me if that seems prying or unrelated, but it's the easiest way for me to confirm I'm not off track before explaining.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 08:35 PM
28

Something isn't adding up here. You go on first dates, repeatedly, and the vibe changes after you mention hobbies, repeatedly... and then they tell you they won't ask you out on a second date unless you give up some of your hobbies? People don't do that. Are you doing something like asking them if they'd date you if you gave up your hobbies? How does "I'd date you if you didn't have xyz hobbies" even come up in conversation after a first date? Who has told you you're "manly" and "unfeminine"? Wh…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 06:17 PM
4

OK, small family, with interest in adoption and a pet, preferably with a white man. Are you in a career, a homemaker, a part-time worker? Are the kids in school, homeschooled, something else? Are you going to church every week, and praying together before bed? Would you admire and support a man with a high-stress, high-demand job or would you prefer someone with a lower income but more time at home? Maybe you're open to many options on some of those.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 03:06 PM
2

Then it's a you can't have your cake and eat it too situation. You've said redirection just has her coming up with a new topic in .5 seconds, so your options are be rude enough to stop her and start a friend group riff or deal with it. Again, all you have to do is exactly what I suggested so that the other friends make some other arrangements. They can Uber, for crying out loud - and it's not like she's the only one in this group with a car, surely. Perhaps even a different date would result in …
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 06:59 AM
9

Oh boy. You're a group of people with poor boundaries who have been latched onto by an energy vampire. Y'all will eventually have to kick her out, and the event will split the group into "people who are growing and developing boundaries" and "people who think you can only be a good person by not having boundaries." Good luck, but this is gonna suck really hard one day.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 06:18 AM
4

Why are you friends with this person? Why don't you want to point out she invited herself and isn't welcome? Do you WANT this event to be a kind of brunch thing? Easiest thing to do, if you did this in some group chat where you don't actually like everyone, is say actually, you aren't ready yet for the whole gang and have to cancel - then privately make a group chat with the handful of people you actually want to be around and say you can only handle a smaller group and would they like to do som…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 06:15 AM
11

Roughly speaking: - Provider means someone who will prioritize funding a reasonable lifestyle for a wife and potential children, instead of expecting a woman to bring about half of the family income. - Red flag means a bad sign that a guy isn't a good match. - Ick is a gut instinct because your subconscious is picking up signs that a guy isn't a good match. - And of course niche dating apps are a good option if you're having trouble finding men who are in your niche. If your top priority in a ma…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 04:11 AM
8

I'm not saying it's fully a kink thing (it sounds partly like he just doesn't want to be nagged and to have a right to some space when he wants it), and I'm definitely not saying I think he's watching porn - I was just asking if that source of understanding existed if your sex life wasn't revealing. But it sounds like your sex life is very revealing. You have submission, dominance, and a dynamic, so it really sounds like he wants some flavor of kink or dynamic change. My advice: Identify his des…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 01:31 AM
12

What kind of man do you want? What does the kind of man you want, want in a wife? Where does the kind of man you want spend his time so that you can meet him? Usually the waiting for marriage type are serious about their faith and are looking for a likeminded man to raise children with, in said faith, and to lead spiritually as well as physically. There's a couple things here that make it unclear how serious you are about your faith and whether or not it's a deal breaker for you if a guy doesn't…
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/24 10:47 PM
18

Do you know what kind of porn he watches or kinks he has? I'm getting the impression he feels like you nag and are hard to satisfy, but also TPE kink vibes. Which is certainly a request he can make but there are a LOT of considerations to be made if that's the case.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/24 07:58 PM
1

If you tried to edit, they're still not showing. Perhaps try using a laptop or desktop?
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/24 07:54 PM
1

Has he mentioned why the response is negative? Does he dislike knowing it's for conceiving? Does he dislike being initiated upon in general?
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/24 04:09 PM
7

For the love of all that is holy, do NOT DO THIS ON YOUR HONEYMOON. If threesomes are a non-negotiable in this relationship, you do that BEFORE MARRIAGE - specifically, before putting money down on wedding vendors at the least - to see if the relationship blows up or not. It's really unclear to me what's going on here. Did he bring the idea up again? Did you? Is this supposed to be a repeat thing, or are you under the very mistaken impression it's a fun spicy experiment like using a new toy? EDI…
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/24 11:14 AM
12

Is this a general seduction question? If you're only initating/seducing during peak days you're doing it wrong. Initiate/seduce three, four, whatever days in a row randomly throughout the month and he won't clue into a pattern that creates performance anxiety or start suspecting you only want to have sex for babies.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/24 09:12 PM
41

That's a long-term orbiter, not a friend. My husband calls them "weasels." You text with a, "Wow, it's been a long time. I'm super busy right now and really can't talk these days. A lot happened for me! I live in X with my fiance now, still working at Y though. Hope your life is going well too!" or whatever is accurate and include a photo of you with your fiance. He'll have a lot to deal with but the photo will break the mental image he has of you as single.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/24 07:42 PM
4

You can not be in a relationship with a man you've never met. You are not in a relationship. You are talking to a guy. The way you relax, and make sure you aren't putting too much pressure on him, is to talk to other guys. Because you're literally just in the talking stage and expecting psuedo-relationship behavior is only going to cause problems for everyone.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/24 02:48 PM
2

I'm going to use this to make a point at the end.. he very likely would take her back. We've got four traits about this man out of this description: An absolute workhorse Exhausted Incredibly proud/pleased with his baby (even good fathers often struggle to bond with babies in the "scream potato" stage, but his prime choice use of his socializing energy is with his 2 month old - seems like the baby is his source of joy) Longsuffering - clearly struggling to enjoy being around his wife, but he's n…
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/24 06:16 PM
1

I thought he just wants her to move in with him sans proposal, so he's discouraging actions that would semi-permanently impede that. Everything he's doing screams that he wants a perma-gf imo, even if he's a romantic who dreams of a white picket fence.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/24 06:05 PM
14

Do not continue a relationship with someone if you're unwilling to live life with them if they never change. Do not think that a relationship where you argue someone into life changes will be enjoyable for either of you.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/24 04:39 PM
3

I think what's more of a Facebook thing. 😅 Although if you have thoughts on how you reciprocate your husband's affection, or how you win your husband's affection, or how you vetted for your happy marriage, that's more in line with what this sub is for.
/r/RedPillWives07/07/24 01:18 PM
8

Does he even want marriage, ever? Buying a house together indicates "perpetual girlfriend" activity that men who went through bad divorces often consider their new ideal. In which case you need to decide if you're OK with a non-traditional LTR or not.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/24 05:36 AM
16

You're assuming the only reason he would continue to be in a relationship is because he thinks the woman is potential wifey material. Most men want to be in a relationship for pure pleasure - and if somewhere along the way she turns out to be wifey, well, then he'll decide if he wants to marry her when he gets there. He doesn't need to have any interest in aligning himself with your marriage pre-requisites if he's getting what he wants without marriage prospects.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/24 05:25 AM
25

It's not an "unreasonable" strategy. I'm a proponent of it for a variety of reasons, and many others use the "no husband privileges" argument to advocate for it as well. However, you appear to be completely ignoring what your boyfriend is very directly telling you. He tells you guys will want to become faux-engaged with you to have you move in, and that this will repeat in your life - as he's dating you. He tells you he's having concerns about your fitness as a partner due to you theoretically w…
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/24 05:15 AM
3

Oh yeah! This is the traditional way to go. Expectations in the West only changed in the last half century. Ironically, my husband had already personally come to the opinion it was a woman's affair, and I had already personally come to the same conclusion, yeeeeaaars before we met and married. I know another couple who has the same thought after speaking to friends of theirs whose thought the same when they had their kids. It's definitely not just a you thing, even in fairly normal American cult…
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/24 02:57 AM
16

Of course you should attend, scaredy-cat. And you should start attending a lot more events - from charity galas to community library clubs - until you feel more comfortable talking to people! Make your calendar busy. Binge-read How to Win Friends and Influence People before the first event. You answer "What do you do?" with your career type/mention of your last relevant position and a "hoping to land a new position where I xyz soon" at the end. If it's dinner, watch a YouTube etiquette refresher…
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/24 10:27 PM
2

"try to stop that" I'm saying stopping anything she's doing over text is not going to cure him feeling drained after a work day. He probably enjoys their back-and-forth too. There's no reason to reduce something they both like.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/24 08:39 PM
14

Awwww this is amazing! It's so sweet hearing how happy and excited he was to surprise you.
/r/RedPillWives06/07/24 08:35 PM
5

The detail is probably that not enough pregnant and postpartum women get referred to competent endocrinologists, and our modern world is FULL of endocrine disruptors. There's an attitude that hormones trending toward extremes is normal postpartum, so that must mean that life-ruining levels of mood swings should just be tolerated or at most sedated. Specialists can be months out, though. Sometimes you just gotta tell yourself, "I'm crazy right now but this will pass. I can survive this just like …
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/24 06:54 PM
1

I don't think advising her to stop the communication they're able to have early in the day when his energy isn't drained is the solution. Talking to each other earlier in the day isn't what makes him avoid her when he gets home. Not having the energy and her (perhaps understandably, due to the newborn) not being a source of rejuvenation is what causes that.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/24 06:43 PM
5

You say a lot of solid things here, but I want to push back on pathologizing dopamine-seeking after 12 PLUS hour shifts daily. That's a very normal response to that much labor and indicates physical exhaustion rather than mental illness/depression.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/24 06:40 PM
9

12 hour MININMUM shifts and he's too tired to do anything when he gets home? So you want to give him the silent treatment for a week while you decide if you want a divorce? What? Do you work as well/is your maternity leave ending soon?
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/24 02:45 PM
2

Vas was using the past tense of the verb "wind", "wound," (rhymes with "ground") meaning to be in a situation, NOT something derived from the noun "wound" (rhymes with "spooned") meaning injured or damaged. See: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/wound%20up#dictionary-entry-3 We know our language makes no sense. For amusement: https://ncf.idallen.com/english.html
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/24 05:28 PM
3

RIP me. I have got to start checking OP history before commenting, no exceptions. I'm not even sure what to make of these two posts together. Is OP eating sour grapes after her bf is considering leaving? Did they have a "so when would you consider marrying" conversation while this new baggage was sitting on the table? Were the arguments that made OP write about considering breaking up in her journal about the marriage timeline?
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/24 11:13 PM
5

You're young. THESE ARE YOUR BEST YEARS. Do you want to spend them with someone who might decide to marry you when he's ready, 5-10 years in the future? Or do you want to spend it with a great guy who wants the same things you do in life? If I've said it once, I've said it a quidillion times: timeline incompatibility is incompatibility. There's no such thing as a man that's "perfect for you"... except for the teensy-weensy issue that he wants to wait 6 years longer than you do to get married. Yo…
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/24 09:12 PM
1

Yeah I can't say my husband has cared for it either 🤦‍♀️
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/24 12:45 AM
23

Dress for a sit-down restaurant, so a touch nicer than casual, and femininely. 99% of guys love skirts and hair down. Talk and get to know him better. Enjoy yourself - any man wants to know his efforts are having a pleasing effect. Offer to split, graciously accept if he insists. Offering is never bad form. Assuming it's true, afterwards message him to tell him you had a wonderful time.
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/24 11:04 PM
1

For real. I actually had a gf cry deep racking sobs against my chest and exclaim "You do EVERYTHING RIGHT and I'm so MEAN to you!" If anyone ever wonders how I became the Dark Lord of TRPTM it was stuff like that. FFS so that's just another AWALT thing, got it
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/24 10:36 PM
9

Worse than that. It means "I want wife privileges without earning them" in a lot of cases. Wanting someone who will financially provide one day in the future post commitment is fine.
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/24 06:00 PM
11

The word "provider" has been taken over by the Gold Digger types. We haven't seen one in a bit, but it's fairly common for someone to post here saying something to the effect of, "How do I get a provider man who will pay my bills." I advise you not to use that word. You're looking for the masculine, protective, caring, steady-as-an-oak figure. As others have said, you don't need to directly tell a man that - you can tell if he's that sort by how he carries himself and how he behaves. I assume th…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/24 04:34 PM
5

Question, are you dating in an English-speaking country? If not, what country/culture are you? That could help us advise you on phrasing.
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/24 02:17 PM
2

I get that. I've journaled off and on since I was 7, and I'd say it's specifically been for catharsis since I was 11 or so. The issue of coping afterwards is separate and more difficult than having the baseline understanding that even your romantic partner has a right to their privacy, the presence of a private item is them trusting you, and betraying that trust is crappy behavior. The fact that betraying that trust is also likely to be biting off waaaaay more than you can chew is secondary know…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/24 03:49 AM
3

Well, I really hope you wouldn't. That's kiddie shenanigans. I've only been on the receiving end from a 12 year old (my then-kid sister). Went about as well as you'd expect. And I was dumb enough as a 17 year old (too old for that behavior, for sure, but I was deeply insecure back then and acting out) to peek at my best friend's diary and get sad about what was in it about me. If someone is neither a drama-prone girl nor a schoolchild they really should know better. But everyone makes mistakes s…
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/24 10:27 PM
7

Dylan Thundercock kinda guy. https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/cgv0tj/introducing_chad_thundercocks_younger_brother/
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/24 09:59 PM
8

Men are not "friends" with women they find attractive. If he has any dignity, he would refuse such an offer. If he doesn't, he would hang around you as an orbiter, hoping for another chance on his terms. Assume he has dignity and do not encourage orbiting.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/24 09:24 PM
6

That was my best guess at the situation, but I had to check if I was wrong and it was a "toxic circle" type situation that could theoretically be broken by you, since you were asking advice as if you thought you could do something. Your thread is probably going to get locked soon for being beyond the scope of RP. But before then, I'll just say this: Your man is in active addiction. Nothing you can do will change this. He has told you he does not want to be married. This was not a "childish momen…
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/24 03:38 PM
3

That's wonderful, congratulations!
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/24 02:28 PM
2

May I ask if you're hitched already or currently looking and vetting?
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/24 01:39 PM
5

It's perfectly appropriate for those to be non-negotiable for you. They could be quite vital for the life you want to live, and it's obvious you've put thought into them. But if can't conceive of men who the majority of women (though perhaps not you) would be thrilled to have who don't meet ALL those criteria... keep imagining! Here's an example. Extreme high wealth men are in fact not known for their emotional equanamity. If anything, the opposite, from my observation. Outbursts get things done…
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/24 11:50 AM
-2

Unless you wrote, "I can't wait to marry boyfriend so i can divorce him and take all his money" this ain't a good look for him. Time to vet. Is this the first time he's pouted over something dumb, or is this a characteristic of his? If the latter, are you able to trust the leadership of someone who behaves like this? How long have you two been dating? What stage of relationship are you guys in? (Sounds like you may be living together, which obviously makes handling things difficult if the answer…
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/24 10:38 AM
2

Who's annoyed when he asks for the exact opposite in the bedroom? I assume you're expressing your personal experience. Try an experiment. For the next six weeks, every time he initiates, don't tell yourself it's a chore. Take it as an invitation. Ask for what you want. Try hard to be enthusiastic about what he wants. Don't turn him down for 6 weeks and watch what happens to your intimacy, as physical and emotional intimacy are linked.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/24 01:17 AM
7

And do you honestly think your behavior had anything to do with his? Not that you're responsible for it - obviously not - but things like nagging, criticism, low confidence on him, etc. can wear a man down over the years. Do you think that's what happened? Or did he have an addiction history before you that recurs and shows a needlessly ugly side of him even when you've been nothing but supportive and enthusiastic?
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/24 01:06 AM
5

What's wrong with them having a list like that? It's not quite equivalent to OP's because you're mixing SMV (big boobs, sexual availability) with RMV (makes great sandwiches), although either way, like OP, it is not a universally desired list. ("Actually, BJs don't do anything for me. Actually, I can't stand the textures mixing in a sandwich. Actually, I don't care about her boobs as long as her butt is big.") But it's a perfectly reasonable personal list, like OP's. We've also seen no reason to…
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/24 12:55 AM
4

How old are your kids?
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/24 11:03 PM
7

Hey there! I used a lot of RedPill terms and abbreviations in that comment. This post should explain RMV and SMV, and I also linked to the theory posts talking about things like hypergamy and dominance threshold in my original comment. Happy to answer any specific questions, too.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/24 05:50 PM
5

Oh, I just thought of a way that hypergamy-drive-quieting-based definition of HVM could have a third level: come up with some cutoff for "high value woman" and then have a new level for a HVM who is able to quiet the hypergamous drive of the majority of women in that group. But I don't have a potential cutoff in mind.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/24 02:55 PM
27

This reads like your personal wish list of character traits, especially with the last few points. I'm not saying it's a bad personal wish list, but something like being "quick witted" or "open-minded" or "humble" or the nebulous "intelligent" is definitely a personal preference and not really appropriate for "defining what a high value man is" if you intend your definition to be broadly applicable. A great deal of other admirable personal qualities that objectively indicate high RMV (reliability…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/24 02:41 PM
5

Reality check: You post in r/bigboobproblems and are into weird kinky crap. You're hot. You were also DEFINITELY judging his ex by "girl pretty" standards. Men don't give a crap about that. They have male gaze.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/24 12:03 AM
3

Lol guess how I'm going to imagine you from here on out whenever I see your comments 🍷🕯
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/24 04:22 PM
2

Telling you when he is available instead of first asking you when you are and telling you whether or not he has overlap with your availability is semantics and not a big deal. No matter who goes first the result is the same: you only meet when you're both available. However, skipping your birthday when you just became exclusive is odd. Do you know if they were long-set plans? Did he express he was sorry about the conflict, or "make it up to you" somehow? Do you know if he's low key about his bir…
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/24 03:33 AM
5

Complimenting a man's attractiveness is an initiation. Something to keep in mind.
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/24 12:55 AM
5

This. OP, it sounds like you're a bit too invested in your brother's life, based on the facts you 1) feel so strongly about whether or not he should be dating and 2) feel like you have to forge some relationship with his date. He's just a person. His choices don't have to impact you unless you want them too... and I don't think you should let someone who hasn't fully moved on from a messy divorce have an impact on your life. Just be polite and affable to her the same way you would if you met a s…
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/24 12:51 AM
5

I see, I misunderstood what you meant by final conversation. You're enamored with intelligence. Intelligence as an isolated trait is near meaningless. High IQ people who are excellent conversationalists are just as capable of ignoring responsibility and being a useless lump as low IQ people. If anything, I see a lot who coasted through school with no challenges in life and then had no idea what to do with themselves once they realized they had to define their own life as an adult. You're hoping …
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/24 12:48 AM
9

So he has debilitating mental health issues, minor substance abuse issues, and probable social dysfunction (given his shut-in reality) that results in him not recognizing or perhaps not caring porn is to be kept private. If I understand correctly that you've already decided this man, as he currently is with no change, no therapy, etc. can not lead you and a family in life, and that you know you can't expect change... You don't need to have a final "talk" where you lay everything out. You just ne…
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/24 08:33 PM
8

If that's the least issue, why did you post about the least issue?
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/24 06:03 PM
4

Hey, waited 'til marriage here. Didn't touch my husband's hand until my father handed me to him at the alter. If they get to the first date and don't have a clue you're the wait-til-marriage type you're missing out on pre-date vetting and communication. If you're using dating apps, mention going to church every week or wanting to find a "Godly man" or something like that. If you're meeting guys in person, up your conservative dress code. (No cleavage, sleeves, no skirts shorter than the knee, no…
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/24 04:04 AM
5

This is the only method I've ever heard people say actually worked to make them actually want to quit and keep a lifestyle where they don't consume porn. Other methods only sent the addiction into remission. https://read.easypeasymethod.org/ You can also use https://accountable2you.com/ to set up accountability software with someone you trust after you finish reading Easy Peasy Method.
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/24 03:44 AM
10

N-count of 3 with no intercourse is not a horrible background and you shouldn't tell yourself it is, or you'll self-sabotage because you have poor self image. If asked, say you fooled around with the long-term boyfriend but never had intercourse. There's no reason to mention the others unless you very publicly had a ho phase on Instagram or bragged about it to all your friends or something that could follow you, and you're not misrepresenting yourself as an untouched virgin. It never happened. L…
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/24 03:18 AM
15

Going to a guy's place, getting "as physical as is comfortable," and then pulling back is not a neutral move and I do not recommend it. It won't dissuade a guy who behaves this way while wanting her just for sex, as he'll think he is nearly there and next time could be the charm, and it could also be perceived as insulting or a tease. OP, counter with a "Would love to do that another time/week, how about X this week?" where X is another public date. And this time, since you've already discussed …
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/24 02:13 PM
2

It's a sign of mourning in a lot of cultures... but for humans!
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/24 03:37 AM
14

That's a bit more than a red flag if he phrased it like that. He straight up told you he would avoid marriage until you made an ultimatum.
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 05:16 PM
4

Jeeze... I use the brain injury example because it's so passive and uncontrollable on the affected person's part and people are less likely to react defensively to the idea, but the reality is no one knows where their breaking point is until they hit it, and that's the far more common scenario.
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 04:20 PM
14

Same here. Point out to him that if wanting a license means you don't trust him, him refusing a license would mean he doesn't trust you, and since you certainly don't think of him badly and hope he doesn't think badly of you, you two should consider a prenup. (I assume your country has a prenup equivalent?) Does your country allow for "lifestyle clause" like a different prenup outcome if a spouse cheats? Or different outcomes if a spouse abuses drugs or goes to jail, or if one is in a coma for y…
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 03:45 PM
15

What are the legal ramifications of having a license? Is it like the US where not having a license means he won't ever owe you spousal support, even if you spend 20 years at home caring for his children before he breaks up with you? Are there other considerations regarding medical care or inheritance or joint property ownership?
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 03:10 PM
5

Working towards this goal with a public speaking coach or peer group (Toastmasters, etc.) would likely yield results. ETA: Gaining the feminine effect you want would likely require a lot of little adjustments and feedback, which is why I think in-person help is the best course here.
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 02:44 PM
21

-"We have a substantial savings" Please tell me your finances are not already combined! This man has no intention of marrying you. Perhaps he tells himself he will one day and so expresses that when you talk. Trust. Actions. Over. Words. He's been dating you for FOUR YEARS and knows he doesn't want to become "bindingly committed!" But he knows he wants to go 50-50 on a mortgage. I'm sorry. I hope the comments are a wakeup call.
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 02:12 PM
2

Honey, I think you have a lot to learn about vetting men. Your response to me was to focus on "name-calling" (I actually don't see any name calling in this text exchange, although I assume that's happened before for you to reference it) instead of saying yeah, there is indeed boatloads of context not included in the original post. I now see your other comments reference cheating and physically expressed anger through throwing objects. Is there more you haven't yet mentioned in the comments? I do…
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 01:49 AM
2

She should be going to a full on naturopathic MD or PNP for hormone health, maybe even an endocrinologist, not looking to an "online coach." Insurance is definitely the route. Beware white knighting, TB! :P
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 01:27 AM
2

Unless there are boatloads of context that wasn't included, this exchange came off as petty to get upset over, much less decide to split over after having "made amends." It didn't seem like there was disrespect to handle. Maybe he thought you knew who Dee was, maybe he's on the spectrum or tired and responded super literally (just a name) to your question about who was coming without thinking, maybe he suspected your question was designed to find trouble and phrased his answer to see if that was…
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 01:21 AM
4

I mean, you told him you want to split again. Sounds like you've already made your decision. I will say that if you don't change your communication approach you're going to continue being a serial monogamist. What is your goal posting here? Wanting validation for your choice? Wondering if you made the right one, or if you could walk it back?
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 01:04 AM
4

Have you directly proposed this already? If you've already spoken your peace and made your suggestions and he is not in agreement, and you are now asking if you should get rid of his property behind his back, the answer is definitely no. Disrespecting him is not a solution. You're in a point of life with limited time. Simple say "I can't" (Laura Doyle style) to selling the clothes now, and dump them unceremoniously into storage. Remove the problem. Address it later once his desired solution is e…
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/24 03:24 AM
13

It's not 1,000 to make. It's a potential 1,000 in revenue... before cost of doing business. How many hours would you spend posting it, answering interested parties, and coordinating with purchasers? What is your time worth per hour? It sounds like you've spent over 1k in time worrying over it! Suggest to your husband that selling it all may not be worth it, and explain your time limitations. If you want to be generous, hand it over to a teen in your life who hustles and say it's theirs to sell. …
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/24 03:08 AM
6

I mean, do you need makeup? If you look good with a fresh face, don't bother. Guys actually do love that. There's a reason everyone putting on makeup tries to make it look "natural." I also struggle with routine It sounds like you have face washing and teeth brushing "habit stacked" with taking a shower. Can you habit stack brushing your teeth to something you do before bed, like getting dressed for bed perhaps? Doing something like putting your pajamas in the bathroom might make this an easier …
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/24 01:35 AM
4

Wow, OK. I think you accidentally skipped the part where she has outright insulted and cursed at you guys to your faces. There are two strategies with these kind people: Don't invite them. Assign someone to keep them under control, usually their parent or spouse, possibly a sibling with a good track record of deescalating them, and keep them away from the marital couple. Unfortunately, ignoring her will only mean that it's your guests who are disturbed by her display. Point this out to your fian…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/24 07:33 PM
6

I don't think you have vaginismus either. Women with vaginismus are often unable to complete gynecological exams. You're correct that dilators are usually used for vaginismus: I'm suggesting they could be helpful to you even if you don't need them for physical therapy. Perhaps if you tried using a dilator (or a woman's toy meant to be inserted) privately, it would help you feel more confident to have intercourse with your husband. I do think you can break the deadlock. Don't give up yet!
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/24 07:27 PM
12

100%! This is one of the unfair parts of the marital sexual dance: if a man can't get an erection going, he can't give his wife intercourse no matter how much he may want to, and has to stick to non-intercourse activity. But a woman can give her husband intercourse basically whenever she wants, barring atypical circumstances. I've known more than one woman with intense frustration over this, that she specifically desired intercourse and her husband was physically unable to do so. The reverse is …
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/24 07:05 PM
8

So he plans on not responding to her manipulative requests again? What's the problem, then?
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/24 02:39 PM
5

Slide, obviously - don't get an innocent three year old in trouble. Deal with the SIL (yourselves, not through a friend) if you have to at another time if she shows repeat poor behavior.
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/24 02:36 PM
6

And when you said something to your fiance, what did he say?
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/24 02:30 PM
14

I'm sorry. This is a rough experience to have when you are low-experience, where someone professes feelings and then turns around and tells you actually, he isn't interested. It's not a good idea to continue talking to someone who behaves this way, not even as a "friend." Wishy-washy people are always problems. That's true in any context, romantic, platonic, or professional. Can you clarify what you mean by thinking you should be content until the right guy steps into your life? This sounds like…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/24 04:24 AM
-1

So... you recognize good relationships can vary unlike that other commenter's universal assertion, you agree with me, you think I meant something I didn't say and I actually agree with you, and you agree with me. But you phrased everything as if you think you're disagreeing with me.
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/24 04:11 AM
2

And is it on one person to always initiate, while the other person counts it against them if they miss a day, or is there a normal, healthy, mutually interested give-and-take? I'm sure it's the latter for you. OP doesn't say OP's texts are getting ignored, only that the guy didn't send his usual gm texts or start any converations. You would he correct that ignoring text initiations from the other person for several days would be a sign of low interest and not normal. Now, if only one person tend…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/24 04:03 AM
1

No. She's not. This high-maintenance behavior may fail, or it may succeed in catching a man who has a particular set of high RMV and low RMV traits. Men with a different set of traits are often outright repulsed by high maintenance behavior, and many women don't consider the low RMV traits worth it anyway. (She is correct about guys who only chat and don't want to meet, but that's not the case here. And she's correct about what a man offers of value - just really wrong about "the bare minimum" b…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/24 03:23 AM
14

Well. Go do that. Best case scenario you get a confused and surprised, "What? You're already my girlfriend!" I've heard such stories. Either way, freaking out over a couple days of silence is uncalled for in either scenario. If this is a FWB of six months, you need to admit this is all he wants, and quit expecting him to act like a boyfriend. If he thought it was "obvious" that you're in a relationship and has no idea you're hamstering about it, it gets less and less common for "unbroken record …
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/24 10:41 PM
0

I don't got time to unpack all that today
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/24 10:33 PM
-10

Daily good morning texts? Are you sure y'all aren't exclusive? Guys generally wouldn't bother with that for a fwb.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/24 09:40 PM
7

Without seeing those threads, I'm willing to bet those guys were looking for a hookup and know "good girl vibes" aren't the type they're looking for. We focus on what a man is looking for in a potential wife around here, not a hookup.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/24 02:32 AM
2

(American?) Slang for "clever" insults.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/24 01:12 AM
20

I'm going to take your word for it that he has an actual phone addiction and not a normal weekend gaming hobby. Your score keeping and his phone addiction are separate things. If he fixes his phone addiction, that doesn't cure your score keeping; it just lets it go dormant until the next conflict. Unless you're working the exact same number of hours, with the same amount of commute, expending the same amount of physical/mental effort, from the same physically and mentally healthy starting point.…
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/24 01:00 AM
52

You're not in the wrong for being too overwhelmed or tired to be able to meet your husband's request for a free hour. You're absolutely in the wrong for treating something you framed as a gift to him as proof he owes you. That was a terrible way of expressing your own bandwidth was already spent. Is this common language in your relationship? Try going for two weeks without ever using "but I did X" or "you got Y" or otherwise referencing some kind of scoresheet. Just express your abilities, needs…
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/24 11:54 PM
8

You're going to have to define "pick me," as that's a term getting thrown at any woman who dares bother be pleasing or agreeable to a man.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/24 02:58 AM
26

Intrinsically? Definitely not. Maybe if they sense insincerity or desperation behind the "niceness." Have you ever actually been told this quote, OP?
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/24 10:56 PM
11

3 years... during high school? How old are you two?
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/24 10:54 PM
5

And what will that accomplish? Plenty of people lose weight and don't need skin reduction for their fupa. (My Mom is an example.) Lose the weight first, by changing your lifestyle in a sustainable way, then see if you need help with hanging skin. Using fat reduction surgery means your lifestyle will just bring you back to where you were. And no. Difficulty with finding good clothing fits and compensating for weak upper back strength by overworking mid back muscles are NOT medical indications for…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/24 10:39 PM
10

Well... I was with you until the unnecessary surgeries that carry standard surgical risks, scarring, and likely body composition issues instead of lifestyle changes that will make you fitter, happier, healthier, and to be perfectly blunt - a preferable person to be around. (The woman who scrolls TikTok and watches Netflix in her spare time while eating a family-sized bag of Lays and the woman who rock climbs or cycles and cooks her own meals have different impacts on the people around them.) Als…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/24 09:39 PM
2

You think these guys are (badly) trying to pick her up?
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/24 10:05 PM
1

I didn't see the response before OP deleted. Was I right about there being history? That's deeply unfortunate and definitely explains OP's reaction.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/24 04:38 PM
3

That's... not what negging is. Doesn't sound like any of them are trying to date you. But to the point, it's impossible to know from your description here if your friend group rags on everyone and this onslaught is affectionate, or if they've designated you as a target of bullying for whatever reason. If the first, chill out. That'll move on to the next person or quit hassling you as soon as you quit encouraging them with your reactions. If the second... you should pick better friend groups or g…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/24 03:34 PM
5

Reflexively smacking someone away while tending a motor accident wound is not "hitting you," at least not in the way native English speakers use the vernacular. You say sorry [for messing with his hand], he says sorry [for acting on instinct], it's over and neither of you think twice about it. Do you have some kind of history involving physical attacks that this is reminding you of? Your response sounds very disproportionate.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/24 03:18 PM
12

He knows what you want.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/24 10:23 PM
56

Should I move in with my boyfriend, when I am not engaged and have no wedding date? No.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/24 10:03 PM
8

posting yesterday wondering if you should leave "in a really good place right now" Your post history can be distilled to "I'm extremely insecure and anxiety prone." What are you currently doing to combat this? Therapy, medication, support groups, self-guided therapy modality books? You mention meditation, but is that something you're dabbling with on your own or are you taking classes/otherwise accessing a guide to get the most out of it? Your troubles aren't going to be fixed by talking to onli…
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/24 05:32 PM
8

You can't have phases of being stable, because having phases means you're unstable.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/24 04:19 PM
15

An on again, off again relationship is not a relationship. There's nothing to give up, I'm afraid, only reality to face.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/24 04:54 AM
7

You're trying to find a way where it's OK to move in with a boyfriend and dole out husband privileges because he'll be doling out wife privileges in return. Anyone who trusted a woman that much would just get married to them... or embark on a contractual arrangement that is not intended to turn into a marriage. I'm aware of such women. They're technically professionals. Just professionals on long term contracts that even include bearing children. With very unusual men. Who are not monogamous. Bu…
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/24 05:05 PM
12

I mean, what ever existed? Kept mistresses? Second families? When did anyone ever fully financially support and provide for the retirement of a girlfriend, outside a sugar arrangement? What used to exist is that they'd get married when they wanted to live together.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/24 03:24 PM
0

Oh, so YOU'RE the car who does 30 in a 35 when all the locals are doing 35-45! We have a game of checking who is in the driver's seat after we pass those cars up to see if they match our demographic guesses. My husband can't wait for when self driving cars have taken over and the traffic grid turns into an efficient orchestra of movement. No lagging cars then. You'd drive both of us nuts if we were a passenger, though we would manage to bite our tongues since we would be guests rather than your …
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/24 07:02 PM
3

I think this is very likely a case of men not knowing what they want, and women assuming men want what they want. This is less common than woman not knowing what they want, about which RP discusses a great deal, but it exists as well. A light bulb went off in my head at that paragraph. I, too, like Pumpkin had the initial reaction of "I would HATE that if the roles were reversed." But I've got an executive man. And he does not like a direct no. I'm going to do some experimentation and come back …
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/24 07:03 AM
3

I clicked on the thread having misread the username and at the end was thinking, OK, this poster needs a star for this... scrolled back up and went oh, it's Jenn. :p
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/24 06:50 AM
7

I was wondering what you were on about, so I googled "prom dress 2024" and holy crap times have changed. A lot. We're in the "red carpet lingerie" era of prom dresses, apparently. Go vintage. That's also a trend, so you can find modern vintage style as well as actual vintage. Not sure what your budget is but here's an example: https://www.jojodress.com/products/retro-vintage-style-lace-organza-tea-length-wedding-prom-formal-dress?variant=904151669
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/24 06:44 AM
1

What? That's what the entirety of this sub is about. Have you read the FAQ, Master List, and wiki? Did you mean to reply to me?
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/24 07:14 PM
1

Lol "asking for my sister" OK, that's potentially plausible. I was thinking there could be a reason he doesn't like you socializing apart from him. Just to be clear, you've never had an emotional or physical affair or anything he interpreted as such?
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/24 04:21 AM
6

Actually, given your comment history in a link up sub, I suspect the other side of the story has something to do with discovering emotional or physical affairs. Has he ever run across relationships you were hiding?
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/24 05:36 AM
9

A fundamental RP building block in both the male and female spaces is that you can not control someone else's behavior. Anyone trying to "cure" another person's genuine abuse will be disappointed, no matter what tactics they use. What is unclear, and is impossible to know from an internet post, is whether or not OP is a reliable narrator. If the Laura Doyle intimacy skills work, there was another side to the story, or they would have no effect.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/24 06:15 PM
15

Girl game can roughly be defined as "effective strategies to create a desirable relationship which serves the female imperative." Considering your last two posts were "I want you guys to validate me continuing a dumb argument my husband wants to forget about" and "My husband says he's only willing to stay married if I accept his non-monogamy, this means I have no choices and no options" I'd say your current mentalities and strategies are not yielding the results you want. How much of the basic m…
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/24 05:10 PM
17

Sounds like it's time to learn some girl game. You're in the right place, but you have to put effort in. From this and your other posts, you would benefit from reading the sub's material for women. See the pinned posts on the main page to get started.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/24 02:33 PM
26

Have you tried the Laura Doyle strategy? Did it bear any fruits or make no difference?
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/24 02:31 PM
0

OP, the etiquette for such a situation varies greatly by culture. Can you clarify where this is occurring?
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/24 04:21 AM
4

Do you have children together? How long have you been married?
/r/RedPillWives09/06/24 09:16 PM
6

Our dating conversations included discussing how the financial situation would be handled if he had a health crisis that prevented him from working. This was particularly pertinent for us as he owns his own business. Her advice points are all solid, though I think: The "learn a trade before marriage you can fall back on if your husband becomes ill" advice is misguided. You're not going to be workplace market material because of work you did 10 years ago. If it were that easy, the woes of housewi…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/24 07:07 PM
2

Can you elaborate more on that? Emotionally not ready could mean anything from mental health struggles to feeling like you can't trust someone at that level to feeling like you'd have a wandering eye too excited by other possibilities to commit to one man yourself to something else entirely. Or do you mean you just have a nagging anxiety that you aren't ready, even though everything looks good on paper?
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/24 06:25 PM
3

5. All that in mind, what do you do now that you've opened this can of worms? You can try shoving the worms back in the can, go live life together, and let yourself forget about it in a few months. Honestly, I recommend this. You can try identifying what precisely about this conversation is bothering you. Are you uncomfortable with the male sexual drive? Is the question you were actually asking, "Could I CHOOSE to refuse sex to you for an extended period of time and know you'd stay loyal?" and n…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/24 03:23 PM
5

He wasn't joking, but he realized he told you things he should have kept to himself, so he's trying to backtrack to respect what you're able to handle hearing. "What would you do if I became medically unable to have sex for a permanent/semi-permanent/long-term period?" is not QUITE in "Would you love me if I were a snail?" territory, but it's way closer to it than normal relationship questions. Such scenarios are very rare. They exist. But they're rare. All the realistic "no sex" scenarios, such…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/24 03:23 PM
7

What qualities or attributes or experiences make you believe you are currently not ready for marriage?
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/24 02:20 PM
36

The vast majority of people make poor life choices, and by 30 the consequences are apparent. If you're single at 30 and: Are not even a little bit overweight Do not have children Do not have non-negotiable pets (particularly common allergenic varieties like dogs or cats) Do not have debt Do not have tattoos (or have removed whatever ones you got) You're at the absolute top of the 30+ dating pool. Mix in a pleasant personality and you WILL find what you want. (To anyone reading this who does not …
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/24 12:12 AM
3

Fantastic to see! To add to your final book recommendation- I benefitted from the book John Eldridge's wife, Stasi, wrote for about women's nature, titled Captivating.
/r/RedPillWives08/06/24 04:00 PM
3

It's sounding easier to vet and take steps to mitigate the cons of Georgia than to deal with the baseline lack of interest in Poland. You can start aggressively putting in effort to learn the language, for example, or vet for men who are confident in their current social status and abilities and thus less likely to be willing to marry someone just for money/citizenship. If you decide you want to return to Poland, I would encourage you to try to find some kind of subculture (perhaps religious?) w…
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/24 03:46 PM
2

I am a 4/10 in Poland. What do you think causes this? Is it changeable?
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/24 02:24 PM
2

YES! Two links for you. First is about the flat-skinny myth (it's long): https://www.jsanilac.com/dispelling-beauty-lies/ Second is about how women do have a lot of influence and control over our attractiveness: http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/feminine-beauty-is-highly-controllable.html?m=1 All the white girls are in the gym working on making their glutes bigger. If you genetically have a higher amount of gluteal fat deposits, you'll be at an advantage because you'll already have more o…
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/24 03:12 PM
2

They're suggesting not dating until you hit your weight goal, which is dumb. I believe most advice is to only use nun mode for up to 6 months due to the appeal women lose with age. You can search "nun mode" on this sub but it's about deciding where you're currently at doesn't get you any of the guys you want and dedicating a time to concentrated self improvement (mental health, physical glowup, habit-building, etc) to become the kind of woman your preferred men are looking for before returning t…
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/24 12:08 PM
5

Yup. 140 is smack dab in the middle of the "normal BMI" range for your height or OP's, and which means it would be a good goal for MOST builds unless you're building muscle. Like you, I always looked better at the higher end of the healthy range rather than smack dab in the middle. The best spot health-wise (and attractiveness-wise) is over that, but with well developed muscle tone. OP, someone probably told you "higher income men don't like big butts" or something for you to make the LV comment…
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/24 11:57 AM
5

Having met and being able to reach out if you want to counts! Ok, you guys passed with flying colors. You're definitely in a true long distance relationship. And with that in mind... It sounds like he wants to walk back or change the rhythm of being on mute continuously. Calling that "wanting to get rid of you" is, as you suspected, rather dramatic. Don't take it personally, don't worry about it, and put it out of your mind.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/24 04:18 AM
6

Ok, standard LDR questions incoming: How frequently do you see each other in person? Do you have plans to permanently close the distance gap? Are you in contact with other people in each other's IRL life?
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/24 03:50 AM
3

She already has her degree in textiles. She'd have to basically get a second bachelor's to go into nursing, unless she's in a state where associate's can become nurses.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 10:36 PM
2

Did you cash flow that degree or do you have debt? If so, how much (just a range, 1-5k is obviously very different from 80k-100K)? This makes an ENORMOUS impact on how you should approach a temporary career.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 10:35 PM
5

A lot of innate biological drives point toward the traditional position. There's a whole subsection of women who espouse the "I'm an independent boss babe who don't need no man" line as cope because they don't see other options as realistic or feasible. The moment a man who hits all their buttons shows up and gives them an immediate ticket to a new life, they're ready, willing, and excited. Is this particular relationship going to become happily ever after? Who knows. But most likely the reason …
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 05:11 PM
4

I'm not saying this playbook can't EVER work, but it'll get rid of a lot of HVM men who don't have time for games in the process.
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/24 05:20 PM
9

I raise you a twist on your assertion, courtesy of the Spartans. THE WORST POSSIBLE THING YOU CAN GET CAUGHT LYING ABOUT AS A WOMAN is your sexual decisions. Don't get caught. But there are plenty of cases where the risk is worth it, from a female strategy perspective.
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/24 02:28 PM
4

Unless he's autistic, everyone knows "I have a prior commitment" means it is rude to ask the details because they would have been volunteered already if the speaker wanted to discuss it.
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/24 09:25 AM
18

Of COURSE they shouldn't be under the impression you're exclusive when you aren't. That doesn't mean you rub it in their face. You have a prior commitment at that time this week, that's all.
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/24 01:21 AM
5

You're dismissing some very valuable insight far too quickly. For what it's worth, I read your post, thought everything Ver said here, and decided it wasn't worth replying to because you seemed like you'd be defensive. Ver is a newer EC at RPW and consequently patient enough to write down what I and the other upvoters are thinking.
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/24 07:49 PM
2

OCD and phobias don't have a level of frequency of the intrusive or distressing thoughts in their diagnostic criteria, so that's not exactly a counterpoint to the suggestion. it's a nagging thought at the back of my mind whenever I hear something like this, or get a weird symptom or whatever You're describing triggers, and the catastrophizing when you "get a weird symptom" is sounding very, very, very familiar. Please do look into what "pure-obsessive" OCD is.
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/24 06:38 PM
5

I openly told him I don't feel very comfortable talking to him about my emotions or things I am struggling with. I don't feel heared and rarley hear sincere apologies. This is very telling. Sharing emotions in a relationship is normal, but this sounds like you're saying "When I'm upset, you don't tell me I'm right and apologize for whatever I want you to in the way I want you to," which is NOT what people are talking about when they say they emotionally support each other or help each other regu…
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/24 04:02 PM
10

I'd say varying levels of apprehension about aging are normal, but your specific recurring fear of disfigurement almost sounds like a phobia or pure-obsessive OCD. Fully aware I'm straying into Reddit armchair pathologizing here; disregard if unwelcome. But this does greatly remind me of the thought processes a young lady I mentor has described to me that are what's called "health concern" OCD.
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/24 06:11 AM
3

This IS you s-testing him, to be fair. It sounds like both of you should knock it off and he's the one trying to disengage at this point, and you're trying to keep a secondary argument.
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/24 01:39 AM
–

Well, that's a buried lead. You're saying you're no longer interested in him but you feel like you have to keep things up until your planned meet date?
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/24 08:32 PM
15

This is the pettiest argument. Move on. And no, people aren't required to answer every single question their spouse asks just because they asked it. That could get toxic fast. Have you gotten into Laura Doyle yet? The vibe I'm getting is that it could be very helpful to your marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/24 08:00 PM
1

Yeah, back when he brought it up. If he mentions cohabitation in a positive/neutral way, you need to show your disapproval or you are giving signs that you agree. Barring inventing a time machine, yes, you bring it up. In this scenario I'd start a conversation about religion and then straight up ask what behavior he considers appropriate before marriage. If his answer differs AT ALL from your own, you need to seriously consider if this man is someone you want leading you physically and spiritual…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/24 04:57 PM
2

It's true that leaning into traits which are historically/biologically encouraged in women will attract men who are themselves displaying traits which are historically/biologically encouraged in men. Some of this may be contrary to your nature or your culture. But also... it's the internet. People just say stuff to get views. 90% of these women aren't walking out whatever talking point they thought up in the shower to put out there today in order to even know if it works for them, much less othe…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/24 03:21 PM
12

Well, I'm not saying you should "expect more" of him. If he's disabled, he's disabled. No amount of expecting more would change that. I'm a little confused by your comments talking about wanting an equitable arrangement regarding housework and financial provision; if you want someone who can physically put in as much work as you can, you'll need to not date disabled, and if you want to date disabled, you'll have to accept always being the one who puts more in physically. For background: I spent …
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/24 02:26 AM
31

There's usually a messier one and a neater one in the relationship and there are lots of ways to cope with that. (Starting with overcoming your instinct of feeling guilty when you ask him to help!) But I'm more concerned about why you want to raise kids with someone who can only work 3 days a week due to health reasons. Is the health reason expected to be temporary?
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/24 05:25 PM
3

Ha! That was not meant to be a carte blanche screed against fake nails! Rather, an objection to the idea that guys care for them or that they should be in a go-to list for improvement of SMV. Female inter-competitiveness absolutely has it's place too, after all. Were you the one who did the write-up on the importance of education for old-money hypergamy? That was a really good post. I *think* OP is running around in new-money entrepreneurial circles. Or at least, I assume so. Old money tends not…
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/24 01:41 AM
5

Oh, you said a lot of what I said more succinctly than how I said it. All of this is rock solid!
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/24 03:40 PM
6

You can have whatever standards you can attain. I'm not going to immediately agree with the other commenters that you're being completely ridiculous; namely, if you come from a comparable family, and you have been on dates with such men, you have much more access than most women here have experienced. In order to be able to attain these men: You have to be hot. Like, hot-hot. And I mean by male standards, NOT female inter-competitive standards. (If I see one more woman include fake nails in her …
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/24 03:35 PM
4

I'm going to preface this by saying I know how absurdly obnoxious it is to get told "You're young, you might change your mind!" I don't think I actually changed my mind on anything I was told, "You're young, you might change your mind" about. So here's the variant: Everyone, regardless of their age, may change their mind. To change your mind is part of the human condition. I was absolutely convinced at 20 that I was going to make a certain life decision that would have impacted who I could marry…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/24 05:18 AM
3

Love to see accounts like this. u/ardentbandicoot Can we give u/amityjeanklein another star for this field report?
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/24 05:08 AM
11

Seconding the suggestion to reframe things without remarking on his behavior. As someone who is also autistic I can attest to you, OP, that it can be very difficult to read when a comment about someone else's behavior is likely to come off as critical. Some rules of thumb: If you want to bring up an issue (frustration that he ate all the chocolate, frustration that he doesn't ration food the way you expect, etc.) do not "tack it on" to a conversation where you're already in a disagree ("should w…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/24 05:05 AM
2

(In answer to your question: I'm a fluffy size 4 postpartum. 8 would be massive on me. Some of us are just short. Unless OP gives her actual height and weight you have to take her word for it.)
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/24 03:55 PM
14

As others have said, you're going to need to define what HVM means to you. For example, I don't consider men who get wrapped up in a woman's games HV as they're going to be less effective at achieving what they value in life, but many tactics on how to marry wealthy men rely on identifying and manipulating wealthy men who are insecure and respond to an emotional roller coaster. And many these days use HV as a synonym for wealthy. Here's the list of questions you need to ask yourself to find a hu…
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/24 09:46 PM
2

No amount of arguments about why the statistics on living together before marriage shouldn't be the way they are is going to change the way they are.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/24 03:58 PM
3

At the end of last year I very clearly told him I desired marriage and pregnancy within a year- and if he didn’t it was best for us to go our separate ways. Most recently he said he wants to be engaged by the end of the year. Whenever he said that should have been your time to remind him of what you said earlier. But you're at where you're at. I feel like anything else would be an ultimatum and I don’t want anything forced You're 36. Your best bet is something "forced." He's made it very clear h…
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/24 02:37 AM
5

If disagreeing with someone were gaslighting, wouldn't that mean you're gaslighting him by disagreeing with him? 😉 "Gaslight" is a term taken from a mid century play about a domestic abuser who convinces his partner that she can't trust herself by repeatedly dimming the gas lights in the house and insisting to her that nothing was changed and she is going crazy. You can't accidentally gaslight someone. It's extremely intentional and malicious. I think this commenter assumed this is what you mean…
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/24 10:44 PM
21

If you're a Christian seeking to be a STAHW/M, I'm going to assume you want to date in the trad sphere and advise accordingly. Seculars are often far more cautious about the STAW/M arrangement because it's just less common and the practicalities seem daunting when you aren't around others navigating the same. If your current church doesn't have many young people or many young men in particular, change that. It's not a sign of a healthy church when this is the case anyway. Check YouTube to see if…
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/24 02:46 PM
2

I could answer you, but every time I see a young woman asking this question, it's because they're not dating yet when they should be and are trying to find something to quiet the need they're ignoring. Why are you currently holding yourself back from the dating field? What "healing" do you think needs to be done?
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/24 04:14 PM
6

and tagging u/PradaAndPunishment I think the blue vs white collar debate is meaningless when the man OP describes (kids from at least one failed relationship, openly brings other girls around his supposedly steady gf and kids, pistol whips her and threatens to kill her family, unspecified income source, buying 1MM house cash) is giving drug kingpin vibes.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/24 05:18 PM
6

The building phase caution gets misapplied. You DON'T want to be the girl he settled for when he did yet have the SMV to pull the girls he really wanted. You DON'T want to try to fix a project. You can avoid the above by refusing to ever date men who are building, or you can acknowledge men who are building just need different vetting. Is he building on his own, without your driving him? Good. Do all signs point to you being his type, and not what he's settling for? Good. At the end of the day, …
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 02:44 PM
25

The building phase caution gets misapplied. You DON'T want to be the girl he settled for when he did yet have the SMV to pull the girls he really wanted. You DON'T want to try to fix a project. You can avoid the above by refusing to ever date men who are building, or you can acknowledge men who are building just need different vetting. Is he building on his own, without your driving him? Good. Do all signs point to you being his type, and not what he's settling for? Good. At the end of the day, …
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 02:44 PM
7

You should not be - CAN not be - in any kind of exclusivity agreement with a guy you haven't met, is our point. (And do you really think he's remaining celibate for a woman he doesn't even have plans to meet?) There is currently no relationship. His actions make sense when you understand that. If you want to make plans to meet a guy you've met online? Sure, go for it. But that's just arranging a date. You wouldn't be surprised if a guy you were arranging a date with was still talking to a bunch …
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 12:50 PM
7

That's not what I meant.. "Having the same life plans" means nothing. "Talking about" living together means nothing. That's hopes and dreams and clouds. "He's currently looking for an apartment here for when he moves here for school in September" means something. That's observable actions and measurable deadlines. See the difference? LDRs are, by default, NOT relationships. In order for them to be part of a real relationship: - You have to have met at least once - You have to have solid, concret…
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 05:26 AM
24

Wow. I think that's worse than what any of us predicted, even. I called choosing that situation "wife duties while being charged family and friends rental rates." Apparently it was more like... an attempt at slavery. This does highlight the issue with putting money above all else and defining High Value merely by financial power. He was lowest of the low for Relationship Market Value. Your parents are on your side and sound like they have good instincts. Listen to them, too, in the future. Are y…
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 04:53 AM
5

Do you struggle with mood swings a lot or was this more out of the blue?
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 04:45 AM
6

This is long distance? Do you have current plans to close the distance permanently? How often do you see each other in person - or have you even met? Emotions and chatting do not make a relationship for a man. If certain factors are missing, a "long distance relationship" is nothing more than a role-playing game to the other party.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 04:41 AM
1

I think you may have blocked me, but there are way more thoughtful therapist modalities out there beyond the cookie cutter Cognitive Behavior Therapy you're talking about. May I suggest finding a Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT, therapist and giving that a spin? There are also DBT workbooks out there. All psychiatric medications have off-label uses. If taking a medication helps you develop a stable, sound life and gives you a baseline from which to compare during other episodes, it's absolu…
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 03:20 AM
22

:/ This sounds cute. I mean, obviously you should just ask him "Oh? Why?" if he asks you to do something and you don't know why he has that preference instead of coming to Reddit, but offering to blow dry it for you because you're tired is just... kinda sweet. Maybe he likes to run his fingers through it fluffy, maybe he likes your "true" color best and is really into it, maybe he doesn't like slightly dampened sheets afterwards... who knows. Talk to your boyfriend more in general. And interpret…
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 03:12 AM
3

So what I'm hearing is that the Catholic equivalent of a Vegas wedding would be to fly to a jurisdiction where it's a weekend seminar 😂😂
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 10:01 PM
2

Today I learned a new word.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 08:09 PM
32

EDIT: Whoa, hold up. I just realized which previous poster you were. You need an ice bath to wake up, seriously. Previous post: "He doesn't have sex with me enough, I don't want to initiate, and in the last couple days I started turning him down! Ugh, I just want to have more sex. Why is everyone fixating on me turning him down?" New post: "I've had a realization! God wants me to turn him down! But not BJs, God is kinda cool with BJs I guess." Quit trying to find justification to sabotage what o…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 05:47 PM
9

I'd love to talk more, but I've read your other comments and have a clarifying question. At first, reading your post and some of your comments, it seemed you completely believed that he began having ED/sexual attraction issues after a season where you put on weight. However, in one of your comments, you make a reference to "the first month" being great. Do you mean the sexual attraction issues began after just one month? But surely you didn't put on noticeable weight in one month. Could you clar…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 02:16 AM
1

Here is my suggested order of operations, because there are several factors at play here. Get back in shape. Get in better shape than you were when you married, if possible. Make an aggressive plan to get there as fast as reasonably possible, and sacrifice what you need to be sacrificed in other areas of your life to achieve it. If your sex life is this badly tanked, this needs to be priority #1. Read Laura's Doyle's The Surrendered Wife in the meantime and begin implementing her Intimacy Skills…
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/24 06:20 PM
1

I'm going to push back on your mentality here first, as it seems to only be causing yourself grief. You did choose this. You CHOSE the priority of performing care-taking tasks at the expense of yourself. I'm certain you believed this was the correct priority at the time. Maybe you still do. But most likely your husband would have preferred a different solution be found if he had realized ahead of time that this set of priorities was going to impact your self-care and sex life so badly. As a rule…
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/24 06:14 PM
2

Yeah, it does sound like there's matching luggage. But you want to be in the same spot, at least. You and OP alike both know how cheap "I want to quit" talk is!
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/24 08:07 PM
10

"Former drug use," unless referring to non-habitual marijauna use or similar, is a much, much, MUCH bigger red flag than anyone who is not themselves a former user or who has not watched people close to them go through use cycles understands. Relapse is *expected*. Quitting a different addiction is likely to trigger a relapse, or a whole new addiction. And if not a former user yourself, a spouse will miss the early warning signs. It's a lifelong war with many battles. Former drug use is a "buy m…
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/24 03:44 PM
1

Do you think this would be an appropriate expenditure of your energy if you were engaged or married?
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/24 03:04 PM
8

If you like him and think he's worth a bit of effort, invite him to something. Tell him you'd love to see him.
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/24 01:54 PM
1

You mean require a prenup, surely?
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/24 04:19 AM
5

Oh, it's been a while since I dug into unpopular theory. Here we go. It's unwise to make friends with another woman who has noticeably lower SMV. Further reading: The Female Social Matrix You're almost certainly correct that her actions are out of insecurity. This is why: She focuses on appearance so much (this point you already recognize is out of insecurity, but also...) She makes unsolicited comments about your appearance under the guise of "helping" She latches onto you and wants to speak to…
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/24 09:53 PM
6

"I see this as an opportunity for friendship.' There's your problem. Most people don't see hefty favor-seekers as bidding for a genuine friendship where they will reciprocate, because they aren't. You're setting yourself up to fail. Now, because you allow these people into your life when others don't, it feels like they are seeking you out because you're the only one dealing with them. Just say no. If that nukes the relationship, then the "relationship" was only ever about what you could provide…
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/24 06:43 PM
1

Yes, we all know what a chargeback was. I almost added why a chargeback wouldn't be a concern to my comment but figured that was obvious. Have you ever had a (significant amount, like an air travel ticket) chargeback go through just because you asked? Immediately? They require evidence and usually take time to review. "I gave so and so my card and didn't know they'd use it for this" doesn't fly because you authorized them to use your card and issues beyond that are a personal matter, "So and so …
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/24 12:41 PM
14

That error hardly invalidates the rest of her comment. "I've decided you have a turn, then I have a turn, and I won't text you if it's not my 'turn' that I've assigned myself," is playing games. And sophomoric. I'm not sure what your strategy is for turning a "guy you're seeing" (with whom you've been intimate) into a relationship is, but you're going to sabotage the possibility with these kind of "rules" that don't really accomplish anything. There are WAY better methods of gauging a guy's inte…
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/24 12:28 PM
42

Quit hanging around whatever people are making you think this is a reasonable thing to worry about. And next time you want to talk to him, talk to him. Don't wait around because it's "his turn" or whatever.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/24 01:01 AM
6

"We really wanted to do X, but it's looking less realistic." "The window of opportunity closed and now we can't do X for sure. I'm going ahead with Y." These are incredibly necessary, expected parts of communication with someone you're making plans with. Did you never mention the difficulty? Did you make it sound like you could find a place for sure? His reaction to a non-ideal situation should be a vetting opportunity for you. You will experience many non-ideal situations with the man you marry…
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/24 05:40 PM
2

OK. And by "put you first" do you mean he: Explained that for X period of time he had more intense than usual business demands and asked for action from you so you could advance the relationship while protecting his time Caved and left his business demands unfulfilled or put off after you refused? Which would be OP's situation. Or did he do REASONABLE, RESPONSIBLE things to show he desires you? I'd bet money it's the latter and you're comparing apples to oranges.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/24 05:01 PM
1

I think you misunderstand how travel reservations work. As long as the return is already booked, she's not going to get stranded, because no airline will let you cancel someone else's flight just because your name is on the credit card. Same thing with a hotel reservation. This is so stringent that even if your current name is on the credit card you used to book the flight, you will still be in big trouble if you accidentally enter your previous name for the ticket. Got held up and lost a trip o…
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/24 04:39 PM
2

You'd probably not say a guy should dump thousands of dollars and whose knows what in opportunity cost out the window to "prove" himself, but if you disguise that cost in time, suddenly it's harder to recognize what is being demanded. No man performing at that level wants to sabotage the empire he's building to pursue a woman, and yes, they do count time by minutes. But the poorer a performer a man is, the less his time is worth, and the smaller an ask it is to have him put aside whatever he's b…
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/24 05:21 AM
4

There is no point though. Once it's booked in your name, it doesn't matter who paid - you have complete control of the reservation. Like if you paid for a friend's ticket, you couldn't cancel it just because it was your card that was used.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/24 05:06 AM
2

Every time I see people voice these thoughts I'm left thinking they've never been able to court a man whose time was ACTUALLY valuable.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/24 05:05 AM
5

This is... not good advice. What is asking him for cash supposed to accomplish? Some kind of test?
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/24 05:26 PM
3

I was going to say I traveled first and now we're married, but you make a good point. We had met at a wedding.
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/24 04:59 AM
16

Is this a repeat issue for you? Have a lot of guys you've dated turned out to not be masculine enough for your preferences?
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 10:54 PM
2

There are a lot of different therapy modalities. From what you've said in this thread, I would suggest trying someone who does Dialectical Behavior Therapy. You can also look up DBT resource online.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/24 11:21 AM
3

What's the dilemma you're facing, OP?
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 11:03 PM
4

Oh, we do the sleeping naked trick too!
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 10:50 PM
8

Did you come here to receive validation that blowing up a completely normal and otherwise desirable relationship is a good idea?
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 02:08 PM
9

If you want a relationship to succeed, you can not "walk back" the stage you are at. You live together. You are engaged and planning a wedding. Moving out will destroy the relationship. Putting distance between the two of you will destroy the relationship. That (unstarred, I may point out) commenter giving advice to play hot and cold just like your previous toxic relationship in order to spice things up again. Maybe it will work and you will get a relationship where you have to push things to th…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 02:05 PM
104

"We don't have enough sex." "I refuse to initiate and I've started rejecting him when he initiates." You've come here to say, "Help! I keep bleeding and I'm afraid I'm going to bleed out! I stab myself once every morning and once every night. What should I do?" EDIT 1: "An unmarried diagnosed autistic guy who has never even dated told me to stab myself in the afternoon, so I did it." EDIT 2: "Guys, I only started stabbing myself in the evening in the last couple of days. You guys shouldn't be co…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/24 01:52 PM
1

Secondly, my husband says "something changed" with me, and there have been many disrespectful moments he said he'd never seen from me before. (I suppose that's the silver lining?) The timeline he describes correlates perfectly with when I started tapering from the lactation medication. Hormone fluctuations are an environmental factor and how I respond is still in my control, so I have not responded well, at all. Waiting it out should be successful (I'm estimating 5 more weeks until it's all out …
/r/RedPillWives11/05/24 05:06 AM
1

OYS Number: 2 OYS Comment Preference: 2 Demographics: 26F | Married | 1 Child (infant) | 5'2" | 125 lbs Gratitude List: Baby (severe reflux history) is SO MUCH happier now than she was the first chunk of life. She still hardly naps at all during the day, but in comparison to having to rock her near-constantly, she's a different baby My husband set up a mini fridge and microwave up near the nursery so I don't have to go downstairs during the night, and even just refilling her bottle during the da…
/r/RedPillWives11/05/24 04:56 AM
7

He has low physical desire for you currently. He's either with you because a) you have rare positive straights he considers even harder to find and he thinks appearance is "manageable" via cosmetic procedures or b) he doesn't have the SMV or drive to get what he really wants. The first option is flattering in a way, but he's overestimating how malleable appearance is. Surgeries are risky, have failure rates, and come with side effects. It's impossible for you to promise that you'd be willing to …
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/24 05:38 PM
6

EDIT: Seems I missed something when looking at Ops post history . Disregard the below. We get this question fairly frequently. A copy paste of a previous comment of mine: He's told you he no longer wants to abide by the conditions of your marriage. Now you get to decide how to respond to that. Strategy #1: Cut your losses. Get your act together while divorce proceedings are under way so that you can jump into dating again quickly at the peak you're currently capable of. Take your chances in the …
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/24 05:27 AM
2

Go get into the gym. Do weight training. Invite him to join you. A really good beginner's guide: https://stronglifts.com/stronglifts-5x5/workout-program/ Male "depression" is very often low testosterone (similar to how many other cases of "depression" are actually vitamin D deficiency). Many things can cause that, but weight training is the one thing a man can do that is most likely to successfully raise his T levels. Worst case scenario and that's not the solution? You both end up healthier.
/r/RedPillWives10/05/24 05:08 AM
15

Is this fiance the boyfriend who was messaging girls on dating apps, or a new guy?
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/24 03:03 PM
–

OP, I am a married Christian woman who mentors and disciples young Christian women, albeit generally younger than you. The #1 thing a mentor is looking for in a mentee is teachability. There are a LOT of unteachable people out there, and a mentor wants to know their work isn't going down the drain. To that end, take a look again at your previous post. Several people took quite a bit of time repeatedly replying trying to explain to you why your mindset needed to be adjusted. You completely rebuff…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/24 03:09 AM
3

u/rosie00x https://nypost.com/2022/03/22/singer-told-her-15-7m-followers-all-about-her-gas-crisis/ https://nypost.com/2022/04/04/i-was-hospitalized-after-holding-farts-in-around-my-boyfriend/ Don't do this please 😭
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/24 05:27 AM
6

...he offered you money on the first date. This is sounding like you may have given off sugar baby vibes from your first interactions.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/24 05:12 AM
2

Everyone downvoting accidentally revealing they've never been with a guy who got them going enough they would enjoy this level of banter from him. This is the oldest RP truth out there, back from RP's primordial pickup origins. The hotter a guy is, the wilder his lines can get while being received as fun.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/24 04:46 AM
4

This sounds like you have the solution but you're salty about it? Do you think there's something morally wrong with him completely delegating household matters to you?
/r/RedPillWives08/05/24 02:08 AM
6

So you've never discussed what long term plans would look like if you get your nationality? Why? Are you avoiding having this conversation with him?
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/24 07:44 PM
1

Happy to be of service as a reminder! You can do this. You've seen the positive results already. :)
/r/RedPillWives05/05/24 02:15 PM
11

Seriously. OP, I'm sure your guy has high SMV for you to be reaching at hope that he will treat the relationship like it has the goals you want it to have, but you've got to look out for RMV too. Nothing here is "mixed" or "hinted" at. He's quite overtly telling you he doesn't see marriage as a priority, and possibly not even as a goal! At 4 months you are OVERDUE to make sure you're working toward the same goals in dating as your partner. For you, that's "decide if this person is worth marrying…
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/24 10:28 PM
91

You keep a bedroom active by wanting to have an active bedroom. I'm serious. People who want to have an active sex life act like they want to have an active sex life. The 20-something sex kitten is watching her weight, shaving regularly, dressing for attention (and sure, maybe she has a low body count and only does it in private for a select man). The 20-something player is in the gym and confidently approaching girls. When they get married, they flirt and get handsy and initiate often because t…
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/24 04:19 PM
9

This sounds like you're trying to sneak a way of changing him into your side of the street under the guise of "respecting yourself." Right now you're in a nasty cycle of antagonism. You have no idea what life is like when you aren't antagonizing him. That's your top priority: as you said yourself, clean up your side of the street. Watch what happens after a few months. "Having a talk" is you trying to change him and trying to get him started on his side of the street. That's not your business ri…
/r/RedPillWives04/05/24 01:07 AM
21

Oh. I love this effect. There's a difference between covering your body and putting on an outfit. When I'm in an outfit: I'm smiled at more I'm complimented more People are more agreeable or friendly Being noticed more means I get more people offering to hold the door/higher rates of sales associates offering to help/etc. I'm recognized and remembered more easily because I'm more distinct This all gets trippled when I have an also cutely dressed baby, and then when my sharply dressed, muscled hu…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/24 04:17 PM
12

"Don't." My husband is unusual in that he figured out very quickly as a teenager that it was detrimental and addictive, and cut it out very quickly after exposure before it became a habit. Fortunately for him, he wasn't as crazy young as the age often is these days, which I think makes that decision harder. He wasn't even religious at the time - this overlapped his atheist phase IIRC. If anything, it's me who has the history with problematic erotic content usage. (Yes, that lemon fanfic or bodic…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/24 08:35 PM
4

Ok, here's the lowdown on how doctors work. Some are fantastic, many are absolute crap, and most are just lackluster. A. When one is unhelpful, go to another one. I can not emphasize this enough. ESPECIALLY for specialists (and gynecologist is a specialist). You'll be amazed at different reactions if you go to three specialists with the same symptoms. B. Emphasize the problem and its effects. It's not "It hurts when I have intercourse." It's "It excruciating every single time I have intercourse,…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/24 03:28 PM
3

Look in the mirror. If you're attractive and he's single, he will be open to the advance. Young men never want to stay "just friends" with attractive young women.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/24 06:46 PM
18

1) Have you seen a gynecologist? There are some common treatable conditions, such as vaginismus, which might make PIV habitually painful. 2) Are you able to masturbate and have a pleasurable experience when you're able to avoid any stimulation that too direct? There are no shortcuts here. You have to guide and and explain what does or doesn't feel good instead of pretending. But if you don't know what does feel good, just what doesn't, this is harder. 3) Why do you think you dislike being seen a…
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/24 04:49 AM
4

Now you're contradicting yourself. I had a loving relationship with him and there was mistreatment and so I had to leave can not both be true.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/24 01:51 PM
5

Well, there's an easy fix to that. What do you think the easy fix is?
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/24 01:47 PM
7

You're not putting a lot of effort into your life. Acknowledging you're self-harming by engaging in an on-again, off-again "relationship" does not require you to throw your hands up in the air and go, "Well, if this one is no good, no men must be!" If you're surrounded by broken relationships and women complaining about broken relationships, get new social circles and purge your social media. Then consider what other women, who are not in these messes, are doing to achieve relationship success. …
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/24 01:33 PM
17

A girl worrying about height is usually code for "he's not dominant enough for me." Does he meet your dominance threshold?
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/24 03:32 PM
1

Oh, you're absolutely correct there there. My "soft place to land" is absent thanks to it. He's had a few conversations with me that can be boiled down to "You know stressing over a problem does nothing to help the problem, right?" and I know that, intellectually, but struggle to emotionally implement that understanding. My husband, on the other hand, can take the absolute wildest things in stride. Trying to emulate his example.
/r/RedPillWives25/04/24 01:51 PM
2

There's a relationship point where one party decides, "OK, I've seen enough. I want to marry this guy/gal. Time to convince them to do that" and proceeds to put even more effort into the relationship than before. I wanted to know if you'd hit that point, or if you were still unsure of him yourself before this. (Obviously even if you hadn't decided yet, it would still be disappointing to see signs he possibly has already decided in the negative.)
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/24 02:16 AM
3

Most likely, you trained him to turn off his arousal around you even when you were being flirty. Combined with the fact he was probably on the lower T side of things to begin with in order for that to happen. "No sex until marriage" is not some magic formula - it works as part of a broader cultural system, and there's never been a culture where constant cuddling and teasing was involved alongside sexual chastity for precisely this reason. As for how to undo that: STOP talking about it. Completel…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/24 02:11 AM
6

Off topic, but I have to ask - has he come to see you before, or did you two somehow get to the "introduce our moms to each other" relationship stage without ever meeting? Very curious!
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/24 06:40 PM
3

I highly recommend you read through the material in the stickied posts in this sub. That will give you a lot of sound advice on how to get and maintain a successful committed relationship, with or without legal marriage. I wasn't referring to anything involving the US legal system when I said there's a tried and true method.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/24 06:20 PM
1

Are you seeking a LTR without marriage, then?
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/24 06:15 PM
2

I want to call that dynamic "platonic life partner with benefits" but that sounds like a contradiction in terms. Tread carefully. There have been thousands of years of human history to develop tried and true relationship patterns for life success. This isn't one of them.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/24 06:12 PM
5

There's a common misconception that users know how to identify vulnerable people and that if only you could remove "the signs" of vulnerability users wouldn't interact with you. This is mistaken. Users try to selfishly interact with everyone. Most people recognize users and refuse to keep them around. Vulnerable people have poor boundaries and let them continue. Read Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud Consider what red flags you've ignored, and start trusting your instincts If EVERYONE in your circles…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/24 05:54 PM
4

That doesn't change the fact it's better classified as a repeat hookup rather than in a relationship - if it were the other way around, you could at least be a plate with a chance of being promoted to a true girlfriend What interests you about Redpill Women if you're not seeking commitment?
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/24 05:45 PM
3

Those are some very mixed messages. 1) Did anything happen in the months between him mentioning moving in once engaged and then telling you to make decisions without considering him? Either in his life, yours, or the relationship? Any disagreements, especially something that was tabled? 2) Prior to this, had you completed vetting him? As in, had you decided you did want to marry him and focused your efforts entirely on being marriageable yourself?
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/24 01:20 PM
1

I'm sorry, who wanted what?
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/24 08:01 PM
2

OYS Number: 1 OYS Comment Preference: 2 Demographics: 26F | Married | 1 Child (4moF) | 5'2" | 127 lbs Gratitude list: Baby laughing when I dance with her, my in-laws' constant willingness to help despite their own life stresses right now, how freaking handy Facebook Marketplace is in a big city, my mentees' patience with my baby brain missing a scheduled call, the milk donor with a heart of gold who has enabled the lovebug to reverse her percentile dropping, my husband's exciting new business op…
/r/RedPillWives19/04/24 05:40 PM
5

You're pre-vetting the guys you dated for commitment interest, and have a high enough SMV that this didn't significantly limit your dating options.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/24 04:00 PM
23

I think what you're getting at is that women can't control a man - there's no magic formula that will surely make someone commit. It has to be his decision at the end of the day, and some men decide they don't want to ever commit to anyone. This is true. Roughly speaking, female strategies can be divided into two categories: A. Locating men who are already ready to commit and looking for the right girl right now, and then vetting for desirability B. Locating desirable men, and then vetting for i…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/24 03:53 PM
44

This is an interesting example of solipsism in word choice. If a man seeks marriage because he is inexperienced or LV and desperate, and then levels up and becomes capable of the sexual access he really desires, he has not "changed for the worse." You make it sound as if it were better he remained inexperienced or desperate! There is no "deserves." Either he's capable of achieving such a woman's sexual attention (and sexual commitment) or he isn't. You phrase it as if he's mistaken for choosing …
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/24 03:32 PM
7

OK, I'll bite. What behavior would be "spoiling" according to you? As others are saying, his grammar when talking about plans for the future with you, his FIANCE, is a nothingburger. You've said it's not some unconscious tell or Freudian slip. Choose not to take offense or become sad at benign phrasing. I'm fairly certain (I don't pay close attention?) my husband will say both "my baby" and "our baby" when talking about the literal present baby that came out of my body. He's just proud of her so…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/24 02:29 PM
13

Have you previously discussed boundaries around members of the opposite sex? Have you agreed to keep friends of the opposite sex and spend time alone with them? If you've never had this conversation, it is way overdue considering you're engaged and being on a different page about this will cause all manner of distress. I don't recommend badgering him into agreeing to standards he doesn't want to hold as this is just a setup for you to eventually feel betrayed when he defaults to his own real sta…
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/24 08:36 PM
3

"We should simply ~*teach men not to rape*~ and you're a bad person if you don't think ~*society*~ should teach men not to rape" has been a thing off in feminist world for the last decade. That logic obviously leads to (or from??) "We can avoid any bad thing by teaching people not to do it!" Use of the term "educating" is a dead giveaway. ArthurOfficial-I is from that feminist land.
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/24 01:42 PM
7

Absolutely none of my social media has anyone talking badly about men or claiming they all cheat, so my sense of reality is simply not distorted in this way.
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/24 01:33 PM
9

This is the way.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/24 10:37 PM
2

The way you describe this really rings a bell for OCD. I don't have time to write up explanations for all of these right now, but please look up these OCD-spectrum disorders and see where you fall: The difference between regular OCD and "pure obsessive" OCD Dernotillomania and trichotillomania The 9 diagnostic criteria for Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (only 5 needed for diagnosis) OCD is known to highly correlate with eating disorders and other body obsessions. If you find yourself …
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/24 03:22 PM
8

Very happy with the exception list. That really is the level of stringency required for them to reliably make helpful contributions.
/r/RedPillWives13/04/24 03:10 AM
5

Just offer to get him seconds when you see him about to get up. He may turn you down; generally only the person eating knows how much they want and it's easy to over serve on seconds by accident. Or he may be happy by the extra service with a smile. 🤷‍♀️ it's impossible to know until you offer.
/r/RedPillWives13/04/24 03:08 AM
6

So happy this has been added to the community! I was a big advocate last year.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/24 09:48 PM
7

DON'T. MOVE. IN. WITH. BOYFRIENDS. Your goal here should be to meet his "wifey" criteria and become engaged. Then you can talk about the logistics of moving into and intertwining finances in relationship to engagement. I thought I would let him lead when it comes to our future and timeline. Why? This is a VETTING POINT. Not a submission point. If you don't vet for someone for goal and timeline compatibility, you end up being bf and gf for ten years. I'm thinking now I could compromise and say he…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/24 08:45 AM
7

Is there a reason you replied to this commenter but dodged my question about your sex life? What's been going on postpartum? How about during the pregnancy? If you're dodging for the reason I think you're dodging, this whole situation could be EASILY fixed by you.
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/24 12:12 AM
32

Being Redpilled has nothing to do with your situation. Some men, Redpilled or not, consider their life better served with a single partner, some with two, some with many, and some with no "partners" but many "encounters." He's told you he no longer wants to abide by the conditions of your marriage, which were culturally presumed to be monogamous if not outright stated as such. Now you get to decide how to respond to that. Strategy #1: Cut your losses. Get your act together while divorce proceedi…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/24 12:01 AM
20

r/lostredditors
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/24 11:43 PM
9

You know the right answer here.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/24 05:22 PM
30

supposedly the men attracted to my RP-compatible behavior would be turned off by hers It sounds like you may have thought that sharing a goal in dating (looking for a serious relationship) meant that these men shared your values (not seeking/encouraging promiscuity). The reality is someone who doesn't share your values can be open to both - totally down for "fun" but open to a serious relationships too. They may be turned off by her in the context of a serious relationship, but not at all for fu…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/24 02:23 AM
107

if guys This was a single guy. Dating is a numbers game. You sound like you might be counting too hard on individual dates. I recommend casting your net widely and going on a lot of dates in the next month just to warm yourself up to the whole concept of vetting. Discovering someone was inconsistent with what he wanted on the second date instead of the second month - or God forbid, the second year - should be seen as a plus, not something that causes you to question your entire strategy.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/24 01:47 AM
2

Off topic - there are a LOT of health issues that could cause someone to be cold that wouldn't show up on routine bloodwork. Heck, not even all thyroid issues will show up on basic b*tch thyroid testing. Mine is Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, and there are many others. If it's significantly impacting your quality of life (sounds like it) I think it'd be worth it to go track down some specialists. I'd recommend Googling "what conditions cause you to feel cold all the time" and then se…
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/24 01:40 AM
4

Be his breaks. It's soooo hot in his office. You just can't keep your clothes on.
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/24 04:41 AM
2

You're thinking about "truth" a bit, er, autistic-ly here. (Don't have a better word!) Let me use an analogy. I have a complex genetic condition that's a mouthful to say and even longer to explain. One of the effects is absolutely crap joints. Back when I took the public transit, if there were no more seats I might ask someone sitting in the disabled seat to move for me. But I don't look disabled, so I needed to offer an explanation. Instead of launching into a proper medical description, I just…
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/24 04:35 AM
12

First, there's a reason one of the most common vetting questions we pose around here to OP's is "If he doesn't change, would you be willing to stay with him?" Sacrificing your time hoping someone will change is typically a fool's errand - it's living in a fantasy instead of handling the reality. As for The Surrendered Wife - it can be quite useful to read while imagining a future marriage. Additionally, once you believe you've finished vetting a man and do want to marry him, and your goals shift…
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/24 03:54 AM
1

Ugh, put down WMLB. That's half "how to have normal boundaries like an adult" and half "how to attract insecure men." What trimester pregnancy are you in? The hormones are weird and I don't believe for a minute that they only impact the woman, although in my experience our libidos waxed and waned simultaneously during the process. it‘s like I‘m the one who has to chase him now If you think you can maintain a long term relationship without chasing him and even having periods where you're "the cha…
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/24 01:00 PM
3

Are you a man?
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/24 03:36 PM
4

This might be your ticket. That's WAY too frequent at that age, when they need long, deep sleep like older children/adults. Frequent infant wakings are a protection against SIDS, the risk of which has nearly completely diminished by the time they're 6 months. Was your husband supportive when you needed to day wean in order to bring the boy's weight up? Could this be framed as for medical purposes as well? Does your son show any signs of poor sleep - crankiness, excessive daytime drowsiness (or c…
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/24 11:23 AM
3

Its sounds like "sleep deprivation" is the answer to what caused the nighttime anger, then. Does he take a bottle? Would you be able to TRY having Dad take half the night time wakings, as an experiment?
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/24 08:38 PM
2

I had irrational nighttime anger start popping up a couple months in. Absolutely shocked me, as I genuinely never got angry in life before then. "Postpartum" anger/anxiety/depression/etc. is a bit of a misnomer - the hormonal changes aren't necessarily directly postpartum and as long as you are breastfeeding, you're experiencing a different hormonal state. We simply don't fully understand the interplay that hormonal levels and imbalances have on the body. It's such an incredibly complex topic. I…
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/24 08:25 PM
1

This is what I get for trying to recall authors from memory 🤣 Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/24 04:26 PM
9

Value = traits indicating reproductive fitness High value man = man possessing enough traits indicating reproductive fitness that the passive dread puts the hypergamy to sleep in the majority of women High value man (subjective) = a man possessing enough traits indicating reproductive fitness that the passive dread puts the hypergamy to sleep for the woman in question specifically Women will put up with all manner of appearance, personality, bedroom behavior, and more issues for a HVM by that de…
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/24 02:29 PM
32

Seriously, this point of theory may be the only place where RPW and TRP tactics align. It simply does no one any good. A fiancé with whom you have a wedding date? Sure. Per both TRP and RPW, that shouldn't compromise things. But right now you're running up against half the problem with cohabitation. You're engaging in committed behavior while uncommitted, and you wind up with questions like are you a renter and a landlord, two roommates, or a wifey and provider? The most likely outcome is worse …
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/24 12:06 AM
74

Do not move in with a boyfriend. Do not move in with a boyfriend. Do not move in with a boyfriend. Do not move in with a boyfriend. Do not move in with a boyfriend.
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/24 11:57 PM
3

You obviously didn't - because if you had blocked him, he couldn't message you. You made a conversation ending statement and then continued the conversation. That's like telling someone, "I'm not coming over to your house any more" and then continuing to do so every time they invite you and blaming them for inviting you. I'm not saying you should care about his ego. I'm saying there's no reason to be antagonistic, which is how this would be perceived.
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/24 01:42 AM
11

He's going to perceive that as heavily insulting. He needs to hear those principles from a man he respects in his life - not you. It's not polite; it's ego-crushing, and very few would be able to take it. If you feel like you owe him an explanation you can simply say, "Hey, you're coming on very strong and we've just met. I don't like you like that. Hope you find your person" and pre-block.
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/24 12:33 AM
5

Absolutely not. A guy is NOT going to get red knighted by a girl he's interested in who he icked out. Sure, he needs to hear it - from a man he respects. OP, if you send that, you're going to get either a defensive tirade in response, or a backpedaling, apologizing, possibly emotionally manipulative reply from him trying to salvage his "chance" with you.
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/24 12:29 AM
10

At 28, if this is a struggle for you, there's a book that may change your life: Boundaries by Doctor Henry Townsend. Please do take a look at it.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/24 08:27 PM
3

No woman works the way OP is describing her boyfriend expecting. Vas (and many of our husbands) have front-loaded foreplay. It's similar to Chadley Chadster III flirting with a woman and by the time they leave for his place she's dripping with anticipation, and the "actual sex" "doesn't need" physical foreplay after all the mental game. Having an ongoing relationship creates more options and ways to front-load the foreplay. Heck, the kinksters are out there Pavloving full-on orgasms in response …
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/24 03:55 PM
1

I don't think you should read anyone's reply as applying to a relationship with satisfying sexual experiences. They're talking about the scenario OP is describing, not Vas's. Building anticipation is a type of foreplay, and the more of a high baseline that is set (the better a "proven performer" to quote Vas) the less has to be done to create anticipation in the first place beyond existing.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/24 09:16 AM
2

I'm convinced porn addiction is the modern alcoholism. Go back 120-ish years and behavior we would now consider an addiction was beyond rampant and mostly considered normal. Opinions shifted and in America, Prohibition was attempted.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/24 04:36 AM
3

Female porn is erotic literature. It arouses via mental and emotional stimulation. Women are not becoming sexually aroused from social media attention; that's a completely different drive.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/24 04:34 AM
8

I strongly urge you to reconsider tying yourself permanently to a man via children when your sex life is in such disarray - especially when one half of the equation is not owning his end. Additional cause for caution: I'm also chronically ill. I vetted hard for a man who would understand chronic illness and the failures of the medical system, so that's who I married. At the end of the day, you get what you vet for, and you won't get what you don't vet for. If you do want to be feminine and submi…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/24 03:25 AM
3

Don't have the time to research, but if there is no official audio for the OG version, there are very often unofficial book readings available on YouTube. That's how I listened to Release Your Breaks.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/24 10:12 PM
8

It's one of those not yet medically recognized things with mounds and mounds of anecdotal accounts. It seems that masturbating too tightly too frequently for too long eventually creates a need for greater stimulation, then the grip tightens more, and then lube is discarded because more friction is needed to register sensation, and the spiral just worsens until they quit reinforcing it. I believe there's a woman in this community whose partner got to the point where he couldn't maintain an erecti…
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/24 05:36 PM
11

The same, generically ("I want to have kids, just not get married"), or specifically with you("We should plan on having kids in X number of years")? How long ago did he mention this? Why are you interested in having children without a marriage?
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/24 02:17 PM
62

you have a dead bedroom (you're willing, he isn't) he is turned off by you managing symptoms of your chronic condition he is turned off by the foreplay 95%+ of women need he is turned off by the artificial lubrication means EVERYONE uses when they want to skip the foreplay you think this is a "you problem" (?????) Since you evidently need to be told this, not being superhuman is not a you problem. I have no idea why you think most women can have nothing but dry sex. They can't. The most likely e…
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/24 04:09 AM
3

First things first: are you sure you've been with men who were open to marrying in the first place? The most wifiest of girls is not going to get a proposal from a guy who only wants to party.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/24 02:33 AM
8

the guy is the real life example of what TRP says is a HVM - and we all know they're spinning plates like crazy Get offline. Frolic in some grass. There's a difference between COULD spin plates like crazy and IS spinning plates like crazy. The TRP guys usually spent years frustrated and unsuccessful before learning pickup, and they can take decades to get to a King Solomon "vanity of vanities, all is vanity" point. (These are the ancient words of a king with 1,000 wives, for context.) In contras…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/24 08:05 AM
12

It's not that impressive for "every relationship" to end in a proposal. You just have to vet for men who you can be absolutely certain will propose - the easiest way being to only date simps. You can also pick a girl game method and then vet for men who will fall for said method (this is why I think WMLB "works" - gives you a method and the vetting ability for [insecure] men who will fall for it). The fact some women will serially date a number of men whose proposal they won't accept, or whose e…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/24 07:47 AM
1

Tips on how to avoid/recognize men with money issues early on? I'd say the second time they lose or hop a job in 12 months is a pretty big clue. asking for money from me And that's the clincher. That's not normal. Here's the list of people who have asked me for money: An elderly neighbor who in retrospect probably had dementia A shopaholic family member who couldn't handle an emergency bill A good friend who was nevertheless severely mentally ill and couldn't keep a job Asking others for money i…
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/24 11:36 AM
1

how to avoid something similar in the future? With hindsight being 20/20, can you identify some red flags you were ignoring during those five years?
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/24 03:29 AM
2

I do discuss these things often with my partner I find myself taking on certain tasks that I'm unable to complete my partner tells me he would rather I allow him to lead on certain things I neglect duties I should be responsible for but don't realize It sounds like your discussions aren't accomplishing what you need them to accomplish. Do you have a theory as to why that is?
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/24 03:26 AM
1

My logic is that if there were another man promising to make them a stay-at-home mom or in possession of an equally fat bank account who was not so flaggy they would choose him instead. Therefore they are either batting outside their league, or they are not hanging out in the right places to find such men. I think the first option is more common.
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/24 07:10 PM
8

I think this is the crux of I would say the overwhelming majority of personal relationship posts in this sub. They’re hoping to use RPW strategies on men who they have clearly not properly vetted, or are so blind to what vetting means they’re just focused on HVM meaning ‘will financially provide for me’ when what RPW actually advocates for is vetting far beyond this for true long term relationship success. Preach. I struggle with what to advise these women because I strongly suspect their proble…
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/24 05:53 PM
4

He is a christian man and checks all the boxes I would look for in a husband Somewhat off topic: I assure you the Bible does not condone serial monogamy, which it sounds like he admitted to. This is another one of those scenarios where a red flag is a man claiming a value structure (Christianity) while overtly flouting it (serial monogamy, sex out of wedlock?), indicating he likely flouts more of that value structure than you're aware of and you should not evaluate him assuming he is a member of…
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/24 03:41 PM
3

Thanks for agreeing with me?
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/24 05:48 PM
4

It's pretty darn normal to have colors or patterns or styles you "hate." As a fun anecdote, my Mom's tastes are so different from mine that she buys things for me by thinking, "I hate that. That means YKWIT would love that!" If you, personally, can not imagine being bugged enough by a piece of clothing your husband wore to mention it, that's not relevant, because OP's husband gets a tad more bugged than you ever do by clothing. I'd imagine men are more likely than women to reach a "that actually…
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/24 11:21 AM
2

OP called the matter trivial. That's not the issue. The guy just wants to see the woman he likes in attractive clothing, and seems to want that to a normal degree.
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/24 11:06 AM
11

Because "is flattering" is subjective. No one thinks "ugly patterns" are flattering, and what is an ugly pattern or a cute pattern varies by taste.
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/24 11:03 AM
-10

Return it, buy something else. Why would you want to wear something your husband finds so distasteful? "Just because" to prove you can? What does that accomplish? Surely you can find plenty of cute things you enjoy and he is happy to see you in. It's not like your styles are 180's from one another, or that there's some practical need to wear lemon print. To avoid this in the future, send him photos next time you shop, or see if he's accurately able to say whether he would or wouldn't like a dres…
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/24 10:41 AM
9

OK, that all makes more sense. Instead of agonizing over what he might mean when he himself is struggling to communicate it, could you ask him to let you know when you do something that makes him feel disrespected? Would he be able to identify that feeling in the moment and let you know? That's probably the best way forward. That way, after a couple of examples, you can deduce yourself what the common theme is. It's clear you want to be respectful and that he knows you want to be respectful and …
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/24 11:32 AM
13

My fiance 29, has told me 33, he wants me to be more respectful If you're uncertain what he means, why did you not ask him? I saw your other comment - you know you don't need to wait for him to bring the topic up, right? If he made the request it's natural for him to not bring it up again since he thinks you understand because you didn't ask questions. I talk cuter which is very hard, I naturally have a lower voice Why are you doing this? Did he ask you to shift your vocal tone or did you decide…
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/24 08:15 AM
7

There's a lot to unpack here. Only make decisions because you believe they are the best choice, not because of pressure from outsiders. That includes your parents. If you've never seriously considered the case for young marriage because you don't want to face your parents, now is the time to be honest with yourself. RP discusses the compound value of a woman's earliest years for relationships a lot. If relevant: Don't take on debt for a degree if you're not going to pursue the career to pay it o…
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/24 04:49 AM
10

I understand that because he is very attracted to me and he loves me, it is in his biological nature to want to, quite frankly, go much further This is conflating two different definitions of "want." There's the "want to" where one has the desire to while having the will to NOT act on it now, which in the context of a traditional relationship is a good thing that bodes well for future matrimony, and there's "want to" as in the will to act on it now. (For example, my husband would not have marrie…
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/24 10:38 AM
7

Reread his comment more carefully. He's saying the opposite of what you think he's saying.
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/24 01:21 AM
26

Yes. You can. I watched a roommate do that. She'd say, "I feel like Chinese tonight," and then open up Tinder like it was DoorDash. You destroy social trust required for cultural systems to work when you do that, which is why you'll get moral condemnation from men AND women for that behavior, as you're making everyone's life harder. You'd have to keep it a secret to avoid social fallout... and be personally OK with whatever damage you deal to those who have done you no wrong. I thought poorly of…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/24 03:02 PM
51

But my boyfriend can’t seem to control himself around me I have known two Christian women who married men who were avowedly Christian. They professed to be Christian, went to Church, talked about God, etc. But they both sought premarital sexual activity from the women. In both cases, the women turned the men down. But they continued the relationship and even hid the incident(s) from friends, family, and counseling pastors. In both cases, once married, the women discovered that attempting extrama…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/24 03:42 AM
3

Reread the post. 2.5 years - 8 months does not equal 4 months. She has the baby, and isn't currently pregnant.
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/24 11:13 PM
6

Despite the title of your post, it sounds like the real issue is that you are harboring a whole laundry list of grievances. When someone else rightfully points out that what you've listed are faults that can be gracefully overlooked in a caring and committed man, your response is literally, "But I have more complaints too!" Would you like him to list out every fault of yours that annoys him? You have made it clear you consider yourself committed to this man (and even if you didn't, I would never…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/24 07:22 PM
21

Yes, but are you boyfriend and girlfriend? You refer to each other as such, he introduces you as such? People can be dating and not exclusive. EDIT: Wait a minute, you've been with this guy for 6 months ago and 1 month ago you were talking about a dream guy who "wants multiple girlfriends." I really don't think you're exclusive.
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/24 03:29 AM
27

Yeah, it sounds very fwb-y. Worried OP hoped for the best and assumed a relationship that wasn't there.
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/24 03:25 AM
11

Are you two official? You know for certain you're exclusive?
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/24 03:25 AM
1

I'm VERY glad the medication support is working so well! The state of our military healthcare is a travesty. Grateful I was able to help - you were clearly being very strong in a hard time (as was your husband, it sounds like). When you think you're done with your need for the meds and are coming off them, my advice is to get one extra refill so you have a stash in case of a future need where you have to wait to be seen again. Stashes come in handy more often than they should.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/24 08:10 PM
1

...I should have guessed. I once had a friend in service get told she could get prenatal care in seven months. She was three months pregnant already.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/24 03:44 AM
15

Counseling is overrated. Moving on requires... Moving on. You just need to live life. Are you still working the same job? Do you have hobbies or personal projects you're progressing in, or good friends? (When was the last time you made a new one?) Are you living in an area you like?
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/24 05:17 PM
3

That's definitely what's going on. He was trying to protect you. "Consistently makes choices contrary to X" is functionally the same as "can't pull X" - mindsets and choices are integral to who you're able to pull. If you've got a Dad who cares about you and a history of choosing men with questionable behavior, it's time to start using him as a vetting tool. I need to include this in a theory post at some point, but there are areas where women literally can not reliably vet men, and if they don'…
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/24 01:39 PM
3

I'm going to give slightly different advice than what you're getting here. Yes, talk to him. The sooner the better. But do not come at it like a logical discussion. Pull out every vulnerable nerve you have at the moment and put it on display. Cry. Come at from the angle of "I'm devastated right now. I'm so in love with you. I've been imagining a life with you since blah blah blah, and I'm so scared now ever since you mentioned wanting to wait because of your ex." Present your timeline discrepanc…
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/24 02:25 AM
3

they said it's foolish to wait for someone that does look attractive and that will treat me like trash I hate to say this, but usually when I see friends/family going down this logic line with girls they know, it's because they think the girl can't pull a decent guy (or a guy who meets her personal standards) who is also attractive. They still care about her enough they don't want to see her with a trash guy who looks hot, so they advise her to settle. Has this family member maybe seen the weak …
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/24 07:33 PM
62

How old are you? Most people learn how to change a flat the first time they get one. Sometimes they learn as a kid when their parent gets one, or sometimes that never happens. NGL, my husband and I learned together in the gym parking lot. We proceeded to screw it up together. (We didn't realize car was at an incline... fun times were had.) it was awkward, and he obviously knew it too. Sounds like you made it awkward. Learn how to have knowledge graciously. was I too harsh? Unless you start datin…
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/24 07:09 AM
7

Ah, there it is. That sounds like a mindset issue that generalizes beyond him. Do you avoid hobbies yourself because you think it's "selfish"? Or for yourself do you recognize non-family activities as refreshing and part of making sure your family has your best self?
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/24 06:14 AM
3

What did he say the reason was for the breaking off?
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/24 04:42 AM
5

Confiding in you is a bad idea. He needs a fellow man he respects and who is clean himself to be accountable to. Being accountable to you results in 1) flipped sexual polarity, as you're functioning as a leader, 2) unnecessary and purposeless emotional distress to you, and 3) limited improvement on the addiction front as women really can't function as effective leaders in this area - we don't have the same experience as men do to understand. Marrying someone with an active addiction, and all the…
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/24 04:18 PM
6

My observation, also backed anecdotally by others, is that hentai users end up contemplating becoming transgender at bizarrely high rates. I've heard a whole academic theory on why this may be the case from a PhD friend whose field involves research on impacting human behavior via technology. I don't remember the details but it had something to do with the animation combined with the known impacts of porn inducing dissociation.
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/24 04:00 PM
22

1) You do not want a guy whose porn tastes look nothing like you. You want a guy whose ideal fantasies look exactly like you, and if he's a porn user, that means what he watches will look similar. You're going to want to get over your high school bullying - your bullies were saying whatever they knew would get to you and weren't potential romantic partners. 2) The real issue is the hentai. Enormous red flag. I don't understand why, although others have anecdotally noticed what I have and I've he…
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/24 09:04 AM
18

The pinned "Getting Started with WPM" post has a section called "Fast Tracking Your RPW Learning" with links to posts titled Vetting Part 1, 2, and 3. It seems this is what you're looking for.
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/24 05:47 AM
4

Can you give us a picture of what currently occurs? How much do you see each other/get 1-on-1 time currently? Do you ever hire a babysitter or drop baby with parents and go out, even if's just once every few months? Trying to figure out if you're trying to get from 0 to 1 or from 1 to 3 on the "time spent together" scale. Additionally, what do you mean by betrayal? Was there an emotional or physical affair?
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/24 04:45 PM
1

The interest alone... May I ask where you are asset + income wise? Typically, distinctly right-wing spaces are overwhelmingly male and women have quick success when they want to find a match if they are also genuinely right-wing. However, that debt is enough of a SMV hit that it's a major concern that needs addressing first.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/24 03:39 AM
17

When we advise women to avoid male RP material it's when consuming it is detrimental to them. OP's takeaway is a simple, standard part of RP theory we discuss here as well and offer advise for in our wiki.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/24 10:37 PM
7

How much of our wiki and resources have you read? They're linked in the pinned posts on the main subreddit page.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/24 10:35 PM
6

What's the story with the 200k debt? I had some general life advice, being autistic myself and knowing what it's like to need to jettison all your friend groups because you realize they're dragging you down, but that definitely impacts my general life advice.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/24 11:32 AM
10

I'm a newborn mother, not a toddler mother, but I'll toss my two cents in from watching my own mother handle us, the house, and absolutely spoil my childhood with hot cooked breakfasts most mornings. (And if you want motivation for breakfast cooking - I have very fond memories of her baking and fulfilling requests, those breakfasts directly led to my own enjoyment of baking, and hot cooked breakfasts were my first ever "all on my own" cooking once I was a bit older.) This was the late 90's/early…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/24 12:47 AM
1

Do you already do non exclusive dating or do you feel like you have to pick "one" to meet and date for a while?
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/24 09:12 PM
110

I call BS. No one has ever told you you're shallow for wanting a 5'6" guy, unless you live in a country with an extremely short average. What they'll say is that, generically, women with height requirements are shallow. But they're talking about average height women who put 6' as their minimum on apps. They're also missing the point; that's a making rules for betas and breaking rules for alphas type thing, rarely an actual requirement. These women don't care if a guy is 5'11" or even 5'8" 9/10 t…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/24 02:19 PM
4

Good grief. What insane country are you stuck in for THAT to be the answer? I'm appalled on your behalf.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/24 01:37 PM
4

OP, this subject is almost entirely what this subreddit is about. It's like going to a weightloss subreddit and saying, "Guys, what do you think about dieting??" Take a look at the posts pinned on the main subreddit, and their material linked to inside of them. You'll discover lots more material like what FishandThings wrote.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/24 08:48 AM
4

Hey, I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. I'm the one who replied last time who had a baby about two weeks before you. The good news is that this fear is itself almost certainly part of the catastrophizing. Many, many, many couples have survived severe PPD/A etc. without lasting damage to their relationship - if anything, coming out stronger knowing what they can survive together. Your man's "distance" could actually be a good sign in the sense that he's taking the self care he needs when ever…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/24 02:28 AM
2

felt like girls were overreacting talking about boys & being hyped about sex I felt that way as a teen. Turns out I had been depressed since before puberty and my libido was suppressed because of it. Instead of the decrease in libido many experience with antidepressant medication, the relief from depression caused me to suddenly understand why everyone around me had been "boy crazy." You're going to get a lot of suggestions to look into your hormones and thyroid to make sure the issue isn't phys…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 11:32 PM
6

OP, the other day I made a comment about times when someone will be advised to quit expressing a desire. “I thought we talked about this already” This sounds like a scenario #1: he's already given his answer, and it's a no. He does not want to have intercourse with you. And this is NOT due to a testosterone, libido, or ED issue, given his desire for BJs. Seemingly it is also not a side effect of a porn addiction. It's his choice. (And if it were a testosterone, libido, or ED issue, and he refusi…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 08:53 PM
20

"Prefer" in the strict sexual viewing sense, perhaps. For sending a feminine, attractive, HV message though? Absolutely not. I hear their locker talk about the "gym thots." OP specifies they switched from "dressing sexy" to "dressing beautiful."
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 04:42 PM
4

Check their post history first :/
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 03:08 PM
2

There was a user on one of your other posts who asked if you had BPD, but I don't think you saw the question. Is mental health a factor at all for you?
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 12:55 AM
1

It might be helpful to edit your main post with where you're looking for advice, or if you're just looking for opinions on whether or not you should ever take him back, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 08:59 PM
2

That's precisely the mentality parents do (and should) have toward their children - the altruistic desire to save them from their own incompetent decisions. As their children grow older, parents realize they must hold their own altruistic emotions at bay, and their desire to make all their children's choices for them to save them from any negative consequences they don't want their kids to risk is no longer appropriate and will only frustrate them. They have to handle their emotions about such s…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 08:48 PM
7

This has less to do with submission and more to do with having appropriate boundaries with anyone on the planet. It doesn't matter whether the individual in question is your husband or not: as long as they are an adult of sound mind, it is NOT your place to decide to interfere with their risk tolerance that does not impact you. You're trying to take care of him like he's a child who can't make sound decisions yet. So yes, it's especially atrocious to treat your husband this way. But it would be …
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 04:36 PM
1

Are you looking for advice on something or is this a vent?
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 08:01 AM
3

Then I can see why it may feel counter intuitive to do both. At four weeks, there's a good chance if you're into someone enough you're granting de facto exclusivity because no one else seems worth your while rather than out of an official relationship stage. Still, it's best to consider it a restart given the gap.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/24 08:20 PM
14

The question I’ve been pondering over is whether I move on having learned my lesson and making sure my ex can’t ruin the next good thing I find, or do I message HVM asking him if he’s open to catch up? Both. Until you're exclusive, it's quite normal to be dating multiple people at once (celibately, obviously). If you saw each other for all of two weeks, I imagine you weren't teetering at the edge of exclusivity already. In other words, yes, get back out there. But there's nothing wrong with hitt…
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/24 08:09 PM
31

Pet peeve. He doesn't "only let you" wear skirts. He has made it clear he considers this a condition of the relationship and so far you have chosen to be in the relationship with that as a condition. Own your decisions! Before I get into anything else: Is your name on that mortgage? If you're buying houses together, do you two consider yourselves to be de facto married despite no legal involvement or do you consider yourself to have the standard level of relationship implied by "girlfriend and b…
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/24 05:47 PM
12

The problem is, in the past, he didn’t respect my boundaries after I very clearly told him what made me uneasy/uncomfortable/pissed off. This is a mistake I see fairly frequently when people are exposed to "therapy speak" but not the theory behind it. Other people's actions are not your boundaries. Your requests are not your boundaries. Your actions are your boundaries. Let's use an example. Mary comes over to Sue's house unannounced. Sue is uncomfortable but lets her in and entertains her, but …
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/24 04:16 AM
2

I can see a scenario where a man has enough frame, and knows the quirks of his woman well enough, that he finds her overtly keeping a score card with points for his behavior cute and her way of communicating. But that is a very unusual scenario. Instigating this 'method' would range from distasteful to disastrous in nearly all relationships. However, you sound pretty well set up, so getting into why that would be the case for other relationships is of limited value for you. The differences in ho…
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/24 03:27 AM
10

At some point we need to admit that we’re giving women mixed advice. Like many things in life, this requires balance. Some OPs will be told they need to lean more toward one side or the other. Furthermore, some people will have different opinions on exactly where that balance is. The default advise is to express your desire to your man. Some women need to be told it's unreasonable to expect a man to read your mind. Others need to be told that part of being a good partner is taking care of yourse…
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/24 03:19 AM
1

Well, the end suggestion is literally autistic. The theory is roughly correct. Have you had any LTRs? What is your current relationship state?
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/24 01:04 AM
6

Smokes, I missed the 7 years part. Not living together prior to a wedding date at least is standard RP advice (on both the men and women's sides, ironically - one of the few things we agree on) but so is not wasting time sitting in a relationship. 4 years ago she was on here talking about how she was with her ex for years and years with no proposal in sight...
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/24 03:54 PM
11

Unless your man is bisexual, this comes off as WILDLY overbearing. Men do not want male comrades and female romantic partners for any of the same purposes. They fulfill completely different parts of life. Do you have any tight friends?
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/24 03:48 PM
5

Seconding this. Laura Doyle's Empowered Wife techniques are for WIVES, aka women who have secured probable lifelong commitment, and not women who are still in the vetting stage. OP, are you married, engaged, or vetting-completed and seeking engagement from your man?
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/24 11:06 AM
29

Excellent, and congratulations! That has to be in place for anything else to work. How and with whom are you living right now? Do you have a job?
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/24 09:51 PM
35

Are you clean from the drugs? If so, for how long? Because that's where this has to start.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/24 08:42 PM
3

- Listen - Say encouraging things - Point out his strengths - Mention when you're proud of him for something - Put extra effort into initiating whatever you do together (dates, outings, whatever physical level you're at in the relationship, etc.) as he is likely initiating less due to stress - Mind your own mindset, as there's a subconscious pull to become difficult when a man is out of work for long enough
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/24 01:19 AM
1

Ok, so when you say "recently" he seems less interested, this has been going on for many months? Nearly a year? The biggest thing that stands out to me in your post is the "waiting" comment. There's no reason for you to "wait for him to pursue you" after y'all have interacted and he's chilling - you can suggest an activity, or going somewhere to talk, or instigate sex yourself. Perhaps your anxiety is keeping you passive, and you're accidentally shooting yourself in the foot by not advocating fo…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/24 03:41 PM
2

Admittedly I would be a little hurt if I knew I was dating someone for 10 months and living together for 4+ months and found out that they made it a point to explicitly mention that I'm not their wife but their partner. Why?
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/24 03:04 AM
8

Personal experience: the one time I had a friend admit to being jealous of me, six months later she accused me and her boyfriend of cheating on her. I still have no idea how many people she spread this rumor too. AFAIK I conducted myself well enough no one believes her, but it was still humiliating. This was someone I had considered a genuine friend for years, too. She stuck by me and supported me in so many ways when I was battling a severe physical illness. She was at the top of my list for "p…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/24 11:09 PM
32

Eh, just wait. If he turns into your LTR/husband, 2014 Tumblr will be back in style in about ten more years.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/24 04:46 AM
3

What was the timeline here? Was his behavior already different before your withdrawal? Or is the timeline something like withdrawal - your behavior changes - his behavior changes?
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 11:41 PM
7

For context, do you think you're over the medication withdrawal symptoms now or are they still a factor?
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 11:15 PM
11

This gets talked about in fitness and hardcore beauty circles a lot. When you start doing things to improve your life, you find out who was really your friend, and really willing to root for you, and really wants you to have a good life, and who just wanted companionship for their own level of life dissatisfaction. I'm sorry you're seeing your current friend's true priorities. You can try sharing your experience, but you need to be prepared for that to make things worse. VERY few people want to …
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 08:23 PM
6

This is OK survival advice for a short-term grin-and-bear it situation. But making yourself small around others is a lack of healthy boundaries and WILL impact you psychologically.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 08:18 PM
3

I didn't suggest you not study. I suggested you need to find balance and have a life while you study less than you currently are (or perhaps study almost the same amount but cut out social media like reddit in exchange for real world interaction). The alternative appears to be letting your mind percolate on old unpleasantness.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 11:39 AM
2

It sounds like there's your answer. There's a time and a place for going Spartan with exams, but when you're at a vulnerable mental point is NOT one of them. It would be better to accept a poorer grade and have a balanced life than spend so much time alone you obsess over something in your past to the point of plotting revenge.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 03:10 AM
2

It's been a year. Do you have any insight into why you've had a hard time moving on? Maybe you do not have friends that aren't mutual acquaintances of his, so you're constantly reminded of him? Have you continued to stalk his social media, basically scratching at your own wound? Have you personally been stagnant, stuck in the exact same job/school/hobbies/location/social groups that you had back then, keeping your mindset frozen? Do you have a passive "life happens to me" attitude in general tha…
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 10:09 PM
4

As my father in law once said, "I'd be fine with it if people would just act in their own self interest. Then it would be easy to work with them!" The older I get, the greater a percentage of the population seems to be self sabotaging all the time.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 10:20 AM
5

Do you think people whose parents are dead should not have children? Sometimes grandparents are just not in the picture. My husband had only one set because the others were dead - they had been very old when they had his mother, and his mother had him at an older age as part of her second set of kids. What do you mean by having no support? You should not have kids without a committed man in the picture, and there are other ways to get a "village" - friends who are also parents, your in-laws, pse…
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 10:17 AM
14

Do you mind sharing what your psychiatric diagnoses currently are?
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/24 08:56 PM
4

2-3 hours to do anything? You have to watch for oncoming cars? Really? This can exist. Lots of health issues can create that level of neurological dysfunction. I was that level of inefficient and situationally unaware when a condition that results in reduced blood volume in the body was untreated.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/24 06:40 PM
7

Moving in together prior to engagement and a wedding date is generally discouraged from a redpill women strategy perspective. It also sounds like this isn't your first choice personally. Is there a reason that you're not moving out in your own?
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/24 10:52 AM
10

Text him an apology for coming over and trying to stay when you knew he didn't want you to. Say you realize how intrusive and rude this is now. Don't do it again. Next time your family is overwhelming, take the advice of one of the other commenters and go to the library or a coffee shop or the park or similar.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 05:39 PM
39

It sounds like you need to learn other people's houses are not your house. I'm surprised he hasn't put his foot down before now. You owe him apologies and changed behavior. If your home situation is emotionally intolerable, make your own move out plan. If it's physically dangerous, report the matter to the police and go to a shelter.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 01:24 PM
2

How many dates have you been on with these men, respectively? What makes you decide it's time to focus on one? Do you have other current prospects, or did you stop prospecting?
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 04:35 AM
5

Perhaps you could do a faceless video. Hands-only POVs are a subniche of the homemaking content genre. But besides that, have you considered writing a field report for here?
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 10:41 PM
–

The answer for the outcomes you're looking for is still most likely Laura Doyle's The Empowered Wife, which you declared couldn't possibly work. You're sabotaging your own attempts to reach your goals before you can get started.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 03:01 PM
21

"Yes." No. Many risk factors of advanced maternal age are actually mitigated if the woman has had previous children. No. Likely only because I was incredibly picky about who I was even willing to date. No. I knew I wanted as many children as possible as soon as I was old enough to seriously consider such things. Field report with an 8 week old: I love motherhood even more than I thought I would, and I thought I would looooooove motherhood.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 06:04 AM
4

Unfortunately, this is precisely the mindset that's a problem. There's no reason to think OP said they felt anything they weren't feeling, or perceived anything they weren't perceiving. Most of the community reacted as an echo chamber to her own thoughts. Women come here because something isn't working - the onus on them is to have a conversation, not instantly fix all the mindset problems they're having that create the unreliable narration in the first place! It seems almost no one who responde…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 03:32 AM
1

Yeesh. It was so irresponsible of them to perpetually put you on the pill to "regulate your periods" at ELEVEN. Periods naturally don't stabilize until then mid-teens! And then to not follow up and get you to a point where you didn't need them any more... 1) I recommend finding a naturopathic doctor who specializes in women's health and hormones. They'll be a good guide for coming off BC, and will be able to help you regulate your hormones at the root source if you have issues afterwards, not su…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 11:35 PM
27

One of the weaknesses of a community like this is that women often come here when they are struggling and having problems. While finding value, they may prematurely offer advice before they have their own ducks in a row, and reiterate the exact BP thinking that got them into the situations that prompted them to try to find a community like this. To mitigate this, there's the star system and Endorsed Contributors, which demonstrate which users have shown good RP insight to varying degrees. Kudos …
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 11:27 PM
4

Even if it's a completely new experience for you to start moderating your snappishness, you can succeed, and succeed quite quickly if you're consistent! You're really still quite young in the grand scheme of things. The effort you put into establishing habits in your 20's will compound for the rest of your life, just like a monetary investment would.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:35 PM
6

The single woman who doesn't want to work and is killing time or just working enough to skate by while she waits for a man to show up and start providing is probably a bad fit for the effort expected of STAHMs in the trad world. Consider myself and my sister. Close in age, both raised trad, both aspiring to be homeschooling STAHMs. I got a tech cert back when that was a surefire way to have a corporate job in a few months. Worked 50+ hour weeks as a project manager for a unicorn for a while. A l…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:14 PM
11

Why? Because you haven't practiced the opposite enough yet. That's all. That's the only reason. Sure, stress or being in a hurry or childhood habits, or disagreeableness, or anything else rhw commenters have pointed out will point you in that direction, but the only reason you actually behave that way right now currently under any circumstances is due to what you've been practicing. The solution is very deliberate care to practice not snapping, and assuming the best intentions of whatever someon…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 02:45 PM
9

HOW newly married are you? We slept like crap the first week of being newlyweds. It just took a little bit for our bodies to register another body as normal. Fortunately we didn't have work. Right now it's separate bedrooms. There's a baby, and instead of us both waking repeatedly in the night, he's not sleep deprived at all and my fully functioning hero during the day while I tend to the newborn at night. We are getting close to the baby sleeping through the night and moving her to a crib, at w…
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/24 03:33 PM
5

That argument sounds like a different issue. Was he trying to make a joke, or do you have any idea why he sent that? How long has he been doing the career advancing stuff and how long have you been feeling like you're the one chasing? There is a natural ebb and flow in relationships. It shouldn't be a matter of calling first and complimenting for the purpose of getting him to call/compliment more. There is clearly a lot going on here, but your final comment about wanting him to cling to you make…
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/24 12:01 PM
14

With this power dynamic shift - what if he would benefit from being "chased" by you, and you taking a turn to demonstrate your desire and passion? What if you being the one to start calls more often or shower him with compliments is exactly the encouragement he needs while he works on his future earnings power (which would hopefully benefit both of you)? By all means, tell him if you miss him. But do so in a sweet and endearing way, not a shrewish, complaining way. To this day, my husband and I …
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/24 11:49 AM
3

If you go to the pain /r/RedPillWomen page, the top two posts have green "pins" on them showing they are sticked to the top and stay there even as new posts come in. These are our guides for new community members! Go ahead and start there, and follow the links in those posts. There are many folks who would be happy to help you out with theory questions (me included!) after you familiarize yourself with the basics.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/24 11:42 AM
0

OP, can you provide some more info here? When you say he "approves of domestic violence" do you mean he believes physically responding to a female abuser is appropriate or something else? Without more details it sounds like you two may just disagree on the adult version of telling a kid to hit their bully back or the bully will never stop. Did you ask him under what circumstances he considers a physical response justifiable?
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/24 11:38 AM
7

Have you read the stickied guides?
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/24 08:53 AM
5

1) VERY happy your fiancé and yourself are taking care of this child - poor thing couldn't choose who her mom was! 2) "3x a day is ridiculous" is rather amusing to me. To clarify, though, do you find the idea of this untenable just due to childcare logistics, or do you two have a mismatch in desire for each other? 3) A toddler isn't a newborn, but I'd still expect you to be feeling like your entire life is about childcare right now. Routines and boundaries and practical considerations take time …
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/24 07:38 PM
3

Oh, I'm happy for you! You're in a really cool life transition point and you're going to really enjoy the results. You've actually already figured out the first steps - employment will quickly have you step outside your family's micro culture and get you used to the general expectations of adulthood. You don't say whether you've moved out or not, but that's the second step (if you can afford it with your job - don't take out student loans or reduce cash flowing your college). The current economy…
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/24 02:34 AM
3

I asked him if I could meet the female friend who he’s known longest and at first he said yes but then he said it may be a little odd to hang out together as they don’t hang out after work This is an advanced "work friend." It's not too bizarre to invite coworkers you've built camaraderie with over the years to your wedding. But he's not wrong. You're accidentally asking for him to up his friendship level with her and he doesn't want to do that! So yes, your emotions have gotten the better of yo…
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/24 11:49 PM
3

💀 Lowkey I think you're trolling. Cram a whole apple in your mouth. It'll take some work but you can do it. Now get it out. Is your mouth now noticeably larger for a period of time? Because by this logic your your stretched jaw muscles will stay hyper relaxed for hours or even days.
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/24 11:45 PM
5

Expectations he can't meet is code for he's not interested in progressing the relationship the way women want. Most women eventually want things to move in the direction of short term and then long term commitment. Do NOT date if their dating goals don't align with yours. Say, if you're looking for a life partner you can raise a family with on a houseboat, don't date someone who is afraid of water or infertile or who only wants casual relationships. What do you want to get out of dating? This gu…
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/24 11:24 PM
3

Are you looking for advice in a particular area?
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/24 09:39 PM
12

Quick reminder your n-count for the purpose of SMV theory includes more than just those with whom you've had intercourse. There's some rationalization going on here, so I'm going to challenge you to sort out your real beliefs and feelings right now. Do you value premarital chastity or do you think it's overblown, especially in an exclusive relationship? Right now you're operating with both beliefs - you're willing to engage in sexual activity, indicating you think your cultural-religious backgro…
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/24 11:05 AM
32

Wow, first off, I have got to say I applaud you for getting so close to the brink and then being able to reconsider. Realizing you've been creating problems is a devastating ego blow that a lot of people can't take gracefully, but you have, and you're putting serious and genuine effort into building a new life for your own sake, your husband's sake, and your innocent child's sake. I'm impressed. Please keep coming back here when you need help; we're all thrilled to support you in this. In this p…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/24 12:06 AM
6

It's deserved!
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/24 10:31 PM
3

how do I mend this? By initiating from your end. Given how this thread has played dout, I'm guessing accurate, full communication is not a strong suit of yours. Most likely he just thinks he's giving you the time and space some women need postpartum. The answer to "I have an unmet desire" is ALWAYS "communicate that desire" first.
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/24 10:22 PM
0

Yes. Also I caution you to consider the motivations of all the online internet strangers encouraging you to take a negative view of your husband expressing the fact he sexually desires you. We're not above crabs in a bucket issues around here.
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/24 08:21 AM
1

Jenn gave you the actual answer. I'm quite surprised at what this thread is filled with. His comment is nothing more than dirty flirting, which is OBVIOUSLY a compliment - he desires you. The fact you admit the interpretation of it as criticism is on your end and not his is crucial. Is, "I interpret benign or complimentary comments as insults. How do I get the speaker to quit giving me benign or complimentary comments?" the best course of thinking? What would happen if you made the conscious dec…
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/24 08:16 AM
1

Being able to afford something = having the money for it. Going into debt = NOT having the money for it. Credit cards = debt. Understand? Getting a credit card does not help you afford looksmaxing or travel. It helps you become responsible for charges you CAN'T afford.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/24 08:09 PM
1

Are you sure this is boredom and not missing you/enjoying being in your presence? Pacing from me or my husband means intense thinking for us, not boredom, and we pretty much always prefer being around each other rather than alone even when doing our own thing. Our preferences match but you and your BF may not match.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/24 06:13 PM
6

If you need a credit card for something you can't afford it.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/24 12:28 PM
8

I've mentioned before that one of the biggest mistakes I see people make with vetting is not understanding what their own hard requirements are (vs. wants, or how their wants rank).
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/24 08:04 PM
17

People want to believe in victims and villains instead of recognizing that folks are 9 times out of 10 with the partner they deserve, and will go repeat the exact cycle with someone else if they break up without changing. If they recognized that, they'd have to admit they aren't victims in their own lives.
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/24 08:03 PM
4

OK, so originally you two were going to combine finances (or mostly combined finances) after two years/having kids, maybe even specified a 50/50 split of all future earnings (which are wild terms an actually wealthy man is quite unlikely to agree to) and now he doesn't want to do that ever? A prenup setup actually typically maintains separate finances. Honestly, you might be overestimating what a court would award you if you did combine finances. Again, you have to have separate legal counsel wh…
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/24 03:53 PM
2

Wait, what? So y'all wanted a prenup good for two years into a marriage, and then afterwards rely on your state's laws for division of assets? And you're upset he doesn't want to give you as much if the relationship fails in under 24 months?? If infidelity clauses are enforceable in your state, you should be the one pushing for a longer prenup!
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/24 03:35 PM
7

Now I feel I don't even want to talk to him until I just get the lawyers talking but I am 29 and I can't tell if things go south if its this bad right before an engagement. He doesn't really care if I cry either it seems when we fight, and once made me cry in public even. If you're in the US, this is the kind of thing that gets a prenup thrown out. And you both need independent legal representation. The resentment you have (over multiple issues) is a huge problem. Did he say why he is changing h…
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/24 03:32 PM
1

We're usually looking for K-strategists (fewer sexual partners/offspring, high investment, quality over quantity reproduction). Classically, men in the RP community are seeking to maximize r-strat behavior (more sexual partners/offspring, low investment, quantity over quality reproduction). Note that humans will follow K or r strat behavior even when actual reproduction is removed from the equation. There are some exceptions to RP men being r strategist - see the broad spectrum of men and goals …
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/24 01:37 PM
3

Average age of discrepancy in a US marriage is 1 year, man being older. There's some data out there suggesting the average age discrepancy for highest attraction from women is 6 years, man being older, and accounting for non-physical SMV. Of course it goes without saying that all of this is utterly dependent on the accomplishments and qualities of the two people involved. For example, my husband is several years younger than I. But due to an exceptional amount of life experience for his age, and…
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/24 04:40 AM
6

It's an open secret a lot of RP community women are on the spectrum. You may find the Female Social Matrix series from The Redpill Room helpful. I did. https://theredpillroom.blogspot.com/2012/05/female-social-matrix-introduction.html?m=1
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/24 03:32 AM
11

Ladies accept desired offers graciously. GDs turn nasty or move on when excessive demands aren't met. If a man offers excessively (you know he's in debt and has no retirement but wants to take you out to expensive places, for example) then you should be evaluating his fitness, not turning him down. And it doesn't sounds like your boyfriend is being financially foolish. So if his actions aren't worth evaluating his provision ability (the GD use of "provider" makes me cringe so bad - they've ruine…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 04:31 PM
7

You probably already can STFU. Do you sign, nag, and criticize in public or when guests are over?
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 04:23 PM
1

You can be fined. When you move into a neighborhood with an HOA (most don't have one, outside of a particular income bracket where they're very popular) you agree to join the HOA. I suppose you could theoretically end up in collections with a ruined credit score due to HOA fines. Usually if people really hate their HOA's rules, though, they get their neighborhood friends together and vote out the current HOA board. There are also legal restrictions on certain rules HOAs can't make. But yes, if y…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 04:21 PM
0

A baby would definitely be an exception to my proposed rule of thumb, but I'm quite curious now. I was in a variety of servers - hobby servers, fan servers, hang out servers, religious servers. They were almost all a) male dominated and b) big on voice chats. I could see that particular mix being what creates sparks when women do show up. Were the servers you were in more gender balanced and/or text based?
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/24 01:52 AM
17

If you're struggling to find this, you may be in the wrong circles. So far, where have your dates been sourced from? Friends of friends, school, apps, mutual interests?
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/24 01:23 AM
0

Huh. I know a surprising number of married couples who met on Discord. 4? And my brother and his gf who just moved in may make that 5. I had to be quite protective of myself to avoid unwanted attention back when I used Discord a lot, and that's still the platform that taught me simps can still attach to someone even with no idea what she looks or sounds like.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/24 01:12 AM
1

OK, this comment section is making me second guess myself, although it could be a generational thing. Am I the only one who sees a woman using herself as her pfp on Discord and immediately recognizes it as a signal for wanting men's attention? I perceive this is a Discord specific social media culture thing, possibly due to its roots in gaming and egirls. I'm also gen Z.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/24 12:37 AM
-2

This is a little disingenuous regarding the pfp; IME gen Z discord vibes are any woman using herself as her pfp (including "just hair") is looking for attention. This isn't true for, say, boomers. I understand why her boyfriend asked her to change it, and I think her resistance is either due to naivete, denial, or a difference in values.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/24 12:32 AM
11

What redpill men are you hanging around that scrutinize you? Women who want serious relationships are often leery off by men who have a pattern of casual relationships. That's all you're saying and shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. They may misunderstand the nuances of preselection, though.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/24 08:36 PM
3

5 months is "just gotten together" for kids who want pleasure and are merely open to the relationship becoming more serious. 5 months should be nearing the end of the vetting period from both sides for adults who went into dating looking for marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/24 08:45 PM
8

Mobile isn't letting me edit comments for some reason, but to add to this: whatever he says in response to your STAHM question, you HAVE to be honest in your desires in response. "I intensely value the time a mother spends personally raising children. I only want a family where I don't have to take away from that by working/working full time/working non-remotely." (Whatever your line is.)
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/24 03:54 PM
16

I need to know if this is because we have different mindsets, or due to his current job issues and family baggage? Yes, you do. Now, how is Reddit going to answer that question for you? ;) Go have a conversation with him. Sounds like you might have a tendency to shy away from being direct about your desires - possibly because you're scared the answer isn't what you hope to hear. But these conversations are what keep people from wasting each other's time and becoming emotionally entangled in unte…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/24 03:51 PM
13

5 months is not remotely early to be talking about timetables. 🤦‍♀️ The trick is to only date someone whose primary goal is also finding a martial partner.
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/24 08:59 AM
14

Methinks your time would be best spent OYSing over at MRP.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/24 10:49 PM
1

So he wants kids and has a dead end drop that he doesn't like. What has he said is his plan for a career? I assume he isn't sitting around feeling emasculated with no intention of changing the situation. I'll be honest, being unable to talk about important future plans does not bode well. But perhaps it has something to do with the way the conversation has historically been brought up.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 06:45 PM
8

press x to doubt
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/24 03:39 AM
3

Check out the stickied posts ;)
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/24 12:30 AM
10

IMO unless you're, say, tied to a city for world-class medical specialists, staying in an area you can't afford with where you are in your current career is also a poor choice.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/24 12:09 AM
62

>yet we still live paycheck to paycheck. We legit can’t afford to not have one paycheck come thru lol How much do you know about your parent's monthly expenditures? Living paycheck to paycheck at twice the average US household income sounds like your parents should go on Caleb Hammer's Financial Audit show. I mention this because you seem to think this is normal, and given that you're 18, you've got a chance to become more financially fluent and set your own life up for better success. There is …
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 11:48 PM
12

No guy wants to be "generous" with a woman who thinks seeking out "psychological tricks" to make them give her things is a good idea. You've got some serious RMV issues. What's your goal in dating?
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/23 03:42 PM
1

This is actually the opposite of what I'm suggesting. Some big serious conversation around "needing more pleasure" would likely be a counterproductive way of handling things. Right now OP is swallowing her desire when it rises (such as when he starts a tease) instead of expressing it. I'm telling her to naturally speak up in the moment when she wants it. "Having a conversation" wouldn't change anything about her mindset - it's just another way of trying to get him to mind read her wants at later…
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/23 05:12 AM
4

Is there some reason you didn't just say, "I think we should call a plumber?"
/r/RedPillWives28/12/23 11:41 PM
44

"I stopped asking and hoped he would lead." Let's be very, very, very clear here. "Being a leader" does not mean "being a mind-reader." Also, one or two generic conversations saying "I'd like more head/orgasms/whatever" are unlikely to really do anything. When you want to be finished, ask him. That simple.
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/23 08:25 PM
5

Whoa. Moms can say wild, sabotaging things. I remember seeing my college buddy's Mom wax on and on about how it was a "miracle" he got contract tech work with Microsoft and moved out. From the viewpoint of his buddies in the college program we were all in, that was near minimum expectations. His Mom clearly had some other view of him. For an even more extreme case, one of my husband's friends, who is doing just fine running a business here, had his Mom threaten to try to drag him into some kind …
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/23 02:33 AM
2

That would be the "in denial" option.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/23 06:15 PM
4

Do you think his jealousy stems from knowledge of you previously cheating?
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/23 03:04 AM
9

It's dead average, statistically. Why are you concerned about how your body count would be perceived when you are in a 3.5 year relationship? Are you concerned it is going to end?
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/23 07:50 PM
63

Men, structurally, care. But in our current culture, 99% of them can't do anything about that preference. In cultures where the option exists, but isn't assumed to be universally present, they'll ask. As you yourself say, in a promiscuous by default culture, they won't ask because they "don't want to know." But that's not quite true, is it? If they were serious about a woman and then learned she had only ever been with them, they'd be thrilled. With a low likelihood of that fantasy being fulfill…
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/23 07:13 PM
16

In denial about how your behavior is suspicious to any reasonable person and disrespectful to your partner. So this is the only point of conflict you have with him? And you don't know how to resolve a conflict without leaving? I do wonder how old you are and how long you've been together. It sounds like your boyfriend doesn't want to give up on things, but does want more respect. You can resolve conflicts by: 1. Deciding the other party has a point or that the conflict isn't worth the discord of…
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/23 06:17 PM
22

You're in denial or extremely naive. Also, why does this make you want to leave the guy? Surely you're not considering nuking things at the first sign of conflict.
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/23 04:51 PM
12

Months? I have some bad news for you about the state of your parents passion for one another.
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/23 04:49 PM
9

Having a man's child should be a husband privilege too but I digress.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/23 05:11 PM
2

I have a two-week old newborn. I'll dump my newly gleaned "wisdom." The cliche about forgetting about the housework is important. The cost is not worth the benefit, unless you have outside help. I think I was 13 days in before I spent 40 minutes cleaning the room I had been occupying, and it still wasn't fully tidy. One tip we heard, although didn't end up using because my in-laws fully rescued us, was that if visitors want to come, have a list of "helpful tasks" on the front door. If it's not g…
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/23 04:25 AM
1

Ah. Well, in that case, I recommend reading through the stickied material at the top of this subreddit to understand what RPW is about, first of all, to satisfy your curiosity. Secondly, yes, from an evolutionary perspective, there is a reason polygyny "works" in a way that polyandry does not. One man can theoretically fulfill multiple women's needs in a way that a woman could never fulfill multiple men's needs. However, the OG RedPill men wouldn't say "one sided open relationships on the man’s …
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/23 03:37 AM
–

Was his tiredness 2 years ago successfully fixed after getting more vitamin D? It's possibly still the culprit if his testosterone was within normal ranges by modern standards. Kind of like how some people would say once a week is normal supposedly at y'all's age. Might be worth it to take a peek at the old numbers and do your own research on whether or not merely being within the normal ranges actually a healthy ideal. You could suggest addressing it ostensibly to treat the tiredness.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 11:04 PM
12

You know how we talk about husband privileges around here? That would be a wife privilege.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 10:58 PM
14

I'm afraid agreeing to an open relationship is not going to solve your on again off again problems with your boyfriend.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 10:52 PM
–

I'm sorry, but I don't think I've ever heard of a couple agreeing to only talk about their relationship with people approved by the other. (Although I've heard of plenty of couples who make rules about who they agree not to talk to - parents being a big one.) This really is in your head. Everyone is allowed confidants. Everyone should be trustworthy to have discretion in who they make a confidant. This comes off as a big sh*t test from you because you don't like the relationship but can't bring …
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 03:54 PM
2

Is he resistant to seeing a doctor? Things like a CBC, thyroid panel, testosterone check, etc. might be revealing. Obviously saying it's because something seems to be killing his sex drive would be rather insensitive, but if he's fairly health-conscious, suggesting he get these check-ups done could be well received.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 02:30 AM
8

First off, how long is this living apart supposed to last - does it have a set end date or a nebulous goal? And after these three years, where is your relationship headed? (I assume you've discussed marriage timelines, etc. by now.) > I feel like I miss him more than he misses me… this is not how it should be! Actually, if only one of you is devoted enough to other things in life to miss the other less, it should be him. You'd become horribly unattracted to him if it were the other way around. >…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 02:28 AM
8

Religious men: Will be fine with this, especially if you waited until marriage the first go-round. However, you have to be consistent in your behavior. There was someone posting here a while ago who wanted to save sex for marriage, wasn't a virgin, and was willing to do "other stuff." That's too fine a hair to split. Devout men may respect the desire to re-commit to waiting until marriage, but only if it's coming from a consistent place. Keep in mind they may also have opinions on what constitut…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 02:23 AM
5

Then you've got way bigger issues than you've stated here. What are your vetting criteria for a partner? Does this man pass them? If not, why are you with him (kids, financial dependence, etc.)?
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 02:16 AM
3

Going to point out the obvious: if he asked you who you talk to about your relationship, you'd be incapable of telling him because we're all internet strangers and you don't know the answer. I have no idea why you'd start a fight with him over this. The rule of thumb is not to involve parents or mutual friends. It's reasonable to say, "Hey, whoever you're talking to, I ask that you not involve your parents or our mutual friends." A fair request doesn't require him to divulge some list of confida…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 02:14 AM
2

Remember KonMari? If the issue is related to just having a lot of stuff to keep together, her book may help you.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 03:59 AM
6

Unusual thing to outright say. In this day and age it's hardly odd for a man to only offer to pay if he's keen on a second date, though. (If there was no chemistry, why invest? Everyone can go their separate ways equally put out for time and $.) Could be red, could be nothing. Maybe he's tired of women assuming he'll pay no matter what, maybe he meant it playfully in a flirtatiously-challenging way, maybe he's testing how you react to the idea of ever paying for yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/23 08:38 PM
2

You not in a LDR. A LDR is a separation that occurs after two people have met and created a relationship, even if it was just once. You are in a six month talking stage with a man who has made it clear he has no intention of visiting you, but wants your exclusivity. This would be a waste of time at any age.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/23 08:28 PM
2

I'm the manifested one in the marriage. My husband had an 80-point affirmation list he used for a couple years, and apparently I have every single trait. Highly recommend being the manifested one. 😂 It's nothing but pleasant when you're exactly what your husband wanted. Maybe put something about being his ideal woman yourself on your lists. Careful crossing things off your list. Metaphysical effects get weird when you do that after affirming the point.
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/23 07:51 PM
10

He's talking about grace and competence under pressure. In other words, a good first mate*. Let's drill down here a bit - you can identify an example where your behavior was contrary to this ideal, where you reacted immaturely to a stressor. Surely you don't think reacting more maturely is contrary to "soft feminine energy." But there is something about strength that you feel rubs against soft feminine energy. Can you be more specific, maybe give an example scenario where you think the strong re…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/23 07:25 PM
34

Methinks, based on your post history, that you require a hefty preselection to consider a man high value. Time for some self reflection. If you want to engage in strategies that result in marriage in the modern Western world, you're going to need to find a way to start seeing single men as attractive.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/23 04:49 PM
3

Have you vetted these men for family interest before getting into relationships with them? How long have these relationships lasted? There are plenty of men out there looking for women with whom to engage in serial monogamy who have no interest in progressing things and eventually just want to move on. I wouldn't call it "dating too young" per se though you're more likely to find this issue in younger demographics.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/23 04:44 PM
20

Haha. Been there myself. Was a little concerned that the quality of guys hitting on me said something more substantial about me until I realized I was a student in a program for students mostly from broke families, stuck riding the bus because of a medical issue alongside people doing it because they're broke, splitting rent with broke roommates because I wanted to pinch pennies. And I was wondering why all the guys hitting on me had the kind of lifestyles and habits that make someone broke. 🤦‍♀…
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/23 11:53 PM
113

You will be hit on by any man you spend time around. Take the bus? The bus crowd will hit on you. Go to med school? Future doctors will hit on you. Hang out with your friend's friends who sit on the couch and smoke weed? The stoners will hit on you. Go to church? Well, maybe "hit" is the wrong word but you'll get church boy attention, however that looks. Whatever neighborhood you're walking in, their denizens will hit on you. You ARE the reason any man is hitting on you, because you control wher…
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/23 11:35 PM
1

I have no idea what you think you're saying. Pickup artists birthed Red Pill. Red Pill birthed the Gen Z masculinity movement emblemized by Andrew Tate. In a separate offshoot, some women began using Red Pill theory and applying it for female reproductive strategy instead of male. That's us. Some do also identify as trad, but trad is a completely separate social movement. I didn't say Tate was trad (although he may be cosplaying Muslim flavor trad now as well? Unclear). I said he's the defacto l…
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/23 11:28 PM
1

Uhhhh Andrew Tate is THE forerunner of the Gen Z masculinity movement that RP millennials birthed. There isn't a female equivalent so if you mean male and female sexual strategies are antithetical to one another, fair enough. I don't hold that view but a lot do. RP never had anything to do with trad values. Trad values are typically K-strategist cultural responses to the evopsych forces RP also draws on, though.
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/23 08:57 PM
17

Someone makes a post like this a couple times a month. I'm actually surprised they still get responses. I think the left wing cultural consciousness at this point is that red pill is Andrew Tate, and Andrew Tate is a sex trafficker. Don't be me. Make an alternate account. I shouldn't post my weird health issues and my sociopolitical hot takes on the same account but here we are.
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/23 05:36 PM
1

Look, I'm very interested in helping you find options here, but it's got to be a dialogue. What about the other two questions I asked?
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/23 02:45 AM
156

Don't fake your reaction. How is he supposed to have any clue what actually works in that situation? You "lost feelings" because you took away any chance he had to display competence, and then reacted to him not displaying competence. You sabotaged your own feelings by deceiving him.
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/23 07:10 AM
1

She was diagnosed as an adult. I don't think the issue is some kind of financial conservatorship. She said she could open another bank account on her own but would be in trouble if the council "found out."
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/23 05:40 PM
4

if they find out I understand you have to disclose accounts and give them access as the only earner. Also, I assume you can't remove your mother's access without her permission. 1) Have you asked social workers how you can open a second account and disclose it to them and give access to them properly? 2) If you're the only earner, is the council house technically "yours" in the sense your mother is your dependent and you can evict her if necessary, or is her presence part of your eligibility? 3)…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/23 08:01 AM
9

Something seems off about the idea you're only allowed to deposit your earnings into a single account that your mother has withdrawal access to. I am in the US, not Britain, so I can't say what is off. (A quick google search seems to suggest you merely need to disclose the bank accounts you have, not limit yourself to one, much less share that one with all household members.) Have you spoken to a social worker/case manager about this issue?
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/23 07:44 AM
3

You don't need a trauma history to justify the arrangement you and your fiance want. Yet even though this arrangement is mutually agreed upon by the only people affected (you and your fiance), you're concerned about "what others will think." Also, ten rude words from an Internet stranger (who is clearly cruising by and will have his comment removed by mods shortly no doubt) bothered you enough to make a defensive edit. Right now you're in a headspace that leaves you anxious and vulnerable to oth…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/23 04:41 PM
1

IME anyone like this in a LTR has the partner they deserve, and vice versa.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/23 03:11 AM
3

Well, I know there are women out there who get turned on by wearing lingerie when their husbands/boyfriends couldn't care one way or another. But you're not interested in what other people's opinions are on receiving lingerie as a present - you're trying to figure out how to react to getting something you didn't ask for as a gift. Graciously. That's the whole answer. No one has ever felt encouraged to up their gifting game because the giftee sulked. Have you read Laura Doyle's The Empowered Wife…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/23 03:06 AM
5

Who told you not to have expectations of men? This isn't Redpill OR traditional advice. Redpill advice would be to spend your youth locating a solid man you can spend the rest of your life with, vetting them upfront so that you don't waste years with someone who wouldn't make a good "captain", while traditional advice would be to find someone worthy of your submission and sexual fidelity. Hiiiiighly recommend you read through the stickiest posts, and especially the links here titled Vetting part…
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 11:30 PM
3

What potential relationship? There are so many orange to red flags here for a bad captain. Why are you fretting over 'losing' him? What made you want him? Have you been having difficulty getting dates and are too worried about making one work that you forget to be vetting him yourself?
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 08:39 PM
5

Edited because I didn't catch your last paragraph at first. If you're both chaste Christians, you both know that in your shared culture the whole point of dating is marriage. Vague senses of timelines should be discussed so much sooner than 3 months, in order to make sure you don't have a major timeline incompatibility before you're too emotionally invested. (Same with other major deal breakers.) The right thing isn't giving him space to figure things out. No one at 35 is actually uncertain abou…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 06:53 PM
7

1) Your friend is into you. This is not a Europe vs America vs Asia difference. If you've got a Dad or brother you can talk to, describe what you've told us to him and ask if a guy will talk like this if he's not into you. Most likely you indicated non-interest (verbally or non-verbally), he coped by telling you you're not his type, and now he's hanging around hoping you'll change your mind. VERY common story. 2) I think men's favorite cuddle positions are usually something where they can feel b…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 09:38 PM
8

Redpill is not "how to screw others over." It's "how to achieve reproductive goals." You don't establish strong long term sexual relationships and healthy children by spending your 20's in weakeauce wannabe Machiavellian entanglements that go nowhere.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/23 09:43 PM
31

Am I missing something? He had previously paid for everything, invited you on a trip, and then hit you with a bill afterwards? EDIT: Yeah, something on the trip clearly prompted a change in behavior from him. OP has replied to comments in a dupe thread she put in another subreddit but won't answer them asking about details over how this fine was handled either. That fine story is somehow key. OP, unless you're being honest with the people you ask for opinions from, including your fellow Asian fr…
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/23 08:39 PM
7

>we are in a season right now of him working long 13-15hr days Before he was working those long days, was he more engaged? (Or were you guys having marital strife when he worked less hours so you don't really have anything equivalent to compare to?) > I stay up late to get quality time with him and it’s like he would prefer that I didn’t. Because he's exhausted and wants to sleep soon?
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/23 03:05 AM
2

Here's an idea, since you're not even sure what he's looking for: start by going "window shopping" together. Tell him the pressure of actually buying new clothes freaks you out a bit but you want to try stuff on for him so you can learn what he likes and start incorporating that into your wardrobe more. Then hit the mall, have him pick out outfits for you, try them on, but don't buy anything yet unless you both really love it. Some of what he likes you might hate and feel uncomfortable in. Some …
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/23 12:38 AM
6

What culture/country are you in? A lot of us are American or Western and the advice could change drastically based on the answer to that question.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/23 03:35 AM
6

Has his psychedelic or other substance usage changed since then?
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/23 10:35 PM
18

First, my credentials: I'm the autistic one in my marriage, but my Dad has HFA/Asperger's. Jury is out on whether my Mom does as well; her psychiatric profile is complex. Regardless, both myself and my sister are HFA as well. Some ridiculous percentage of my friends - probably upwards of 50% - are fellow HFAs, diagnosed or otherwise, plus I know a handful of people who were misdiagnosed with HFA when they have something else that has symptom overlap (usually a dissociative disorder). It's too bi…
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/23 11:42 PM
3

The one class of bc you've not mentioned are barrier methods. There's the cervical cap, diaphragm, and contraceptive sponge. First two IIRC need to be custom fitted so you go to a gynecologist for a prescription - last is the least effective. But all are used combined with spermicidal jelly. They're not AS effective on their own in comparison to, say, an IUD, but I assume you're combining this with condom usage anyway, and doubled-up your effectiveness rate should be great.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/23 09:45 PM
1

I'm not describing some mental trick where you can just suddenly start enjoying sex (especially bad sex) on command. I wouldn't enjoy "dry rubbing" either - no one would. 99% of women have to go through a period where they figure out what will turn them on and how to communicate it. It's really sounding like you've not gone through that stage yet, and genuinely don't understand how it's possible for two people to work together to turn one of them on (which can be both a mental and physical proce…
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/23 03:10 AM
8

How much can he self-direct care? There is, say, a difference between someone in Mom/attentive nurse mode going, "Ok, do you need going help to the bathroom now?" a few times a day and the patient alerting the attendant that they're ready to use the bathroom now and otherwise being unbothered. When we were in-bed sick my Mom gave us a little bedside bell to ring so we didn't have to strain our voices if we needed something, and she went about her day in the house. I think people just call each o…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/23 11:28 PM
18

:D Very happy to have helped. I guess I hadn’t considered how much time I devote to this while he’s gone and compared that to his time block in the evenings Glad to hear this, because if you were short on the self care I'd have been worried it was you who was the burnout risk! Plus, intensive natty bodybuilding earlier in life has really good snowball effects later in life even when the muscle poundage is lost. If you think about how common muscle degeneration, bone density issues, heart problem…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/23 07:07 PM
21

Everything people are pointing at as potentially "disordered" is something I've had to do in pregnancy. Probably because I'm also body-building, just not my own body lol. - Daily weigh-ins are how I catch weight loss creep - I could usually catch it and correct in about three days once I started doing that - instead of waiting for my midwife to tell me I missed a weight goal. - Paying attention to protein vs. fat. vs. carb intake to a much greater extent than I was before is important because th…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/23 07:00 PM
116

Don't listen to the people trying to pathologize your husband. You haven't described anything that gets remotely close to clinically unhealthy behavior (the opposite in some cases, in fact) and there's a lot of projection in the comments going on. You yourself say: It isn’t directly impacting our lives like that or hurting us short of missing that two hour block in the evenings. A daily 1.5 to 2 hour daily block for personal hobbies is not at all unreasonable. He's probably listening to podcasts…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/23 06:04 PM
14

Stopping him when doing something unpleasant doesn't mean stopping the session. It means suggesting a different way to do the foreplay that is enjoyable (slower, less pressure, different spot, more lube, different direction/motion, etc.), or switch to a different kind of foreplay. You're stuck on "have painful sex" or "say no to sex frequently" binary. That's a false dichotomy. I - and most women here - are saying "learn how to have enjoyable sex starting from an unaroused state." Which will fir…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/23 08:36 AM
13

Well, there's your issue. You were having sex virtually unaroused, and it sounds like skipping lube half the time on top of that? (Which would only make it way worse. Unaroused quickies have their place and are fun in their own way, but only with LOTS of lube!) >He would try foreplay, but that was unpleasant and painful, too >just painfully rubbing at me while I was totally dry When you're starting from unaroused, you will be very sensitive. Him moving too fast, at the wrong angle, with too much…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/23 06:46 AM
15

he more I associated sex and all physical affection that could lead up to sex with pain and dread, so that even when I wanted to have sex my body reacted and it tended to be painful This sounds like a textbook vaginismus case where your vaginal muscles are becoming hypertonic for mental reasons. Many people have great success using dilators to retrain their mental association with penetration - I've heard so many people speak well of them. The thing is, having sex when I'm not interested is so, …
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/23 06:03 AM
6

So he made a comment about thinking she was flirtatious in a unicorn sort of way and then said he wasn't attracted to her?
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/23 07:31 PM
3

He has said that he wants to wait 2 years before we start trying so that our relationship is on the best foundation possible Had something been occured over the last five years that makes him worry about the relationship foundation? and we get to enjoy married life for longer before kids. Unfortunately this indicates a major difference in mentality toward having children. Either people enter parenthood child-focused, more concerned about minor comforts of the kids than with maintaining their own…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/23 04:52 PM
1

Are you sleeping with these guys or is it just talking stage stuff?
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/23 11:06 PM
1

It's a phenomena - the word for it is dacryphylia - but the only study I'm aware of suggests most men have the opposite effect, in terms of direct sexual arousal. Anecdotally they can end up VERY attached in response to tears, not sure if there's a scientific explanation. Don't cry in front of a guy you have no intentions with as easily you would a girl friend.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/23 01:15 PM
2

Yeaaaah this does need to get done. T levels, thyroid, vitamin D levels depending on location in country. Also OP if he hates the doctor don't bother going through there. You can get all that done for a reasonable out of pocket amount if you go straight to a LabCorp or SonoraQuest or something yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/23 01:10 PM
24

Your recently single friend who is texting you at booty call hours and wants to hang out one-on-one is not a friend.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/23 04:04 AM
9

You're describing a roleplay scenario. Some people like roleplay for the exact reasons you mentioned ("I get to act in different, fun, unique ways, even if they’re not true to my actual character"), some don't, some like roleplay but not that particular scenario. I wouldn't say roleplay, much less a particular scenario, is needed in all marriages, but if you found a good and spicy one y'all love keep using it 😜
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/23 07:00 PM
1

Are you the same person who wrote this "hypothetical" in the third person or someone else? https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/14we8ew/deleted_by_user/
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/23 06:55 PM
2

That is a hell of a lot more context. You need to edit your original post and explain this is about his reaction after cheating. >He disappointed me more in his inability to get me to forgive him, than he did by cheating on me. I don't quite understand here. Are you saying the fact he seemed remorseless or similar was worse than just the cheating?
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/23 03:45 AM
2

I feel like this post is an invitation to brag about how hot I think my husband is. 😂 On a more useful note, I would like to say: Should it be genuine or should they try to fake it? There's a difference between "faking" and "getting into practice." Particularly if you've received or internalized messages that good girls aren't supposed to lust for their husband, letting yourself find and express that feeling could seem awkward and unnatural, and require effort in the beginning. That doesn't mean…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/23 12:29 AM
4

Fake it 'til you make it. There's nothing stopping you from cooking dinner tonight and serving it with a smile, even if your aunties words haunt the back of your mind the whole time. (And there's a good chance you'll discover you enjoy the reaction you get from him.)
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 07:10 PM
3

So he's... paying the majority of your bills, and you don't even want to cook from him after four years of quasi-commitment. Sometimes family gives really bad advice.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 06:24 PM
14

How would you feel if all your kids turned out exactly like him?
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/23 04:37 PM
14

Not the case. She's describing issues in the past using "soft no's" (which are often an invitation for seduction attempts) when she meant "hard no's," and once she got the guts up to explain this, he felt remorseful that they had been miscommunicating at this level and appears to be treating her soft no's as hard no's now (which she presently wants, although I would as a rule advise people to keep something indicating "I'm not in the mood but open to seduction" around). Her current situation doe…
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 08:15 PM
11

>Am I supposed to not be a submissive daughter while unmarried and then be a submissive wife when married? Does this make sense? Yes, it does. A child is in submission to their parents, and they don't get much choice about it on account of their developmental stage. An adult is responsible for their own actions. An adult can then choose to submit to someone else and marry. If you're still a child, and therefore still submitting to your parents, your decisions aren't your own, and therefore you c…
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 07:28 PM
18

First, a few basic RP theory observations: 1) What women on birth control prefer vs. are not on birth control differs. Studies have confirmed this. 2) The average woman has no idea how much effort is required for even a low-level muscled look. They'll often say "I don't like muscles," when what they mean is they don't like the steroid look. Meanwhile the guy who spends three or four hours in the gym a week is a hottie and they're clueless what it took to get there. 3) What women say they want vs…
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/23 04:48 PM
10

She's saying if he's doing the husband thing of working for ingredients, you doing the wife thing of cooking them up is fair turnabout.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/23 03:36 PM
15

You already gave him the milk, haven't you? That ship sailed. No one buys a cow to be a maid. Trying to create artificial (as opposed to natural) wife barriers now, contrary to your own generous instincts, won't do anything for you and will just make you look unenthusiastic. Just don't move in. If you're concerned he's not commitment minded, then you should be considering your timeline and how much effort y'all have put into getting to know the crucial parts of each other and your goals (religio…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/23 03:35 PM
15

If you didn't have intercourse (or any other styles of sex where sperm could have gotten near your vaginal opening) around your ovulation point, then you're not pregnant. Most common cause of a delayed cycle is a stressful event causing delay of ovulation, and consequently delay of menstruation. Other causes could include development of PCOS or other hormonal irregularities. I highly, highly, highly recommend the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility to better understand your own body, cycles, an…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/23 12:54 AM
5

They will literally just see it as you being interested, invested, and passionate about them. You're overthinking. :) And as I've mentioned elsewhere... If a guy can't graciously accept a gift himself, that's also a red flag.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/23 12:29 AM
5

Can you give two different examples of scenarios that led to this? Without more context, it sounds like the issue MIGHT be that you feel hurt until he resolves a situation exactly how you think it should be resolved, when accepting other responses might be wiser.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 07:27 PM
6

I used to get ready in literally 7 minutes, alarm-to-bus stop, because I had to be up at 5am to take two hours of buses for where I was working and the early rise was very rough on my natural sleep cycle so I decided to minimize it. 1) Quit wearing makeup OR keep a pouch you retrieve from your desk and put it on in the bathroom at work. People only think you look tired/sick/not put together without it because you've trained them to only know your face with it. 2) Clothes and anything else you ta…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 05:27 PM
7

Order the d@mn dress.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 05:17 PM
10

"Promise rings" are a promise to not pursue others, usually exchanged because there's going to be a physical separation. (School, work, military, etc.) and are typically employed by young couples facing life instability older ones won't have. It's an engaged-to-be-engaged stage. It seems from your other comment that you mostly wanted matching jewelry, though, which doesn't have any connotations like that and wouldn't have the concern of instigating a change in relationship status as a woman. If …
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/23 03:57 PM
13

Promise rings are for kids, especially those experiencing some kind of temporary separation they want to come back from before getting actually engaged. At the two year mark, is there a reason you two aren't discussing marital timelines?
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/23 02:37 PM
13

Take your bedroom trash out daily? Change your sheets frequently? Plug in one of those ultrasonic insect/critter repellants? You say he should "get the clue" as if this has an objectively correct response, but the reality is there are many options. Shift your mindset away from judging him! What kind of pests are you dealing with that a regular container is insufficient? Is being worried about contamination due to previous experiences in the house or is it an OCD thing?
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/23 02:58 AM
7

Vindicta and TRP are both upfront about their own solipsism. RPW is a tad theory-light at times and won't always admit it.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/23 02:45 AM
3

This subject comes up constantly. R-strategy: reproductive strategy behavior where quantity (and therefore number of reproductive partners) is paramount, and investing in the offspring is lessened or non-existent. K-strategy: reproductive strategy behavior where investment in offspring is paramount, and the quantity of offspring (and therefore number of reproductive partners) is lessened or limited. This theory of reproductive strategy began in biology when observing animal behaviors, where it w…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/23 07:01 PM
56

We discuss "husband privileges" a lot here but this is really "wife privileges." Think of it this way: does it make sense for a man to fund a glowup if another man will end up enjoying it for years to come instead of him? Anything beyond a comment in the style of "yeah, I'd really like to get electrolysis so there's never any stubble or ingrowns but it costs a lot" (followed with immediate agreement to whatever he says, even if it's completely dismissive of the idea of electrolysis or whatever t…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/23 06:34 PM
1

Did the weed use begin before or after his disinterest in sex? You say you're engaged, when is the wedding date?
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/23 11:43 PM
3

I recommend this book twice a week or something at this point. If you've heard of the highly-touted author Laura Doyle, she's also written a book for singles and those who dating called The Surrendered Single: A Practical Guide to Attracting and Marrying the Man Who's Right for You. Highly recommend. It addresses what you're talking about here and many other aspects.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/23 10:41 PM
2

Weird question - what kind of family did you grow up in? What kind did he? I'm not sure if this will match your situation or not, but it reminds me of the emotional maturity differences between my family and my husband's family. I grew up in a household where there was a lot of passive-aggressiveness and ill intent, consequently leading to a lot of tone-policing. A comment like, "Well, wipe him!" would absolutely mean war in that household. My sister is now the kind of person who takes offense e…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/23 10:07 PM
6

Well, first off, I have no idea why anyone is downvoting you. This is an understandable internal conflict to have. I'm going to intellectualize the whole problem for a bit. Jump into salt-of-the-earth rightwing cultures and you'll find that being able to take a joke about your mom, race, religion, nationality, or other hallowed piece of identity is how you prove you have frame, are secure in yourself, and aren't emotionally volatile - particularly important traits for men. (Insecure, emotional m…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/23 09:41 PM
8

It sounds like you might be right about the core issue being leftover sentiments from a subculture it sounds like you're trying to leave. Are these jokes about "sacred cow" topics for leftwingers, like race, gender, or disability?
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/23 06:21 AM
1

Go to r/marriedredpill my dude Literally a sub devoted to answering that question. We're here from the women's perspective.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 08:07 PM
9

By "want to provide anything" do you mean "willing to open their pocketbook to anyone they're dating near-immediately" or "want to find someone to be a future STAHW/M"?
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 07:25 PM
28

I truly don't understand what this is supposed to accomplish. If a guy would feel embarrassed having others know he's being treated, maybe you should pick a leader with better frame because that mentality is definitely going to affect your future together. Judging someone's graciousness in RECEIVING is literally just as important as judging their graciousness in giving. Your friend isn't wrong. (And if he prefers to receive in others ways, then he should be paying!)
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 07:20 PM
55

Dont sleep over if you're not ready for sex. That demonstrates a lack of desire, not your purity. (Saying "I'm not able to sleepover so soon" demonstrates your purity.) There's literally no other reason to sleepover if not to start a seduction game, and while there's a natural thrill to that... If your goal is to demonstrate a good girl image, you won't enter a game so close to the ledge in the first place. 1 1/2 hours journey time is not a big deal to get back to home at night.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 05:16 PM
23

Gotta ask. Is it to sweeten the deal, or because the dread boost is an occasionally welcome thrill? EDIT: Quit downvoting OP. A lot of you are delusional about the monogamy rates of .01%ers and even more don't understand that at least passive dread is still emotionally needed in a marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 04:54 AM
3

Whatever it is, don't let yourself shut down. You'll screw yourself over doing that! One of the most often recommended authors around here, Laura Doyle, has written a book for not-yet-married women that I often recommend. It helped me and I think that if you're struggling to get back into the dating mindset after a relationship, it'll help you a lot too: https://www.amazon.com/Surrendered-Single-Practical-Attracting-Marrying/dp/0743217896
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/23 09:20 PM
15

So you're planning on responding to him being flakey by being flakey? You agreed to a date. You need to cancel the date. "Hi, I need to cancel our date and won't be continuing our conversations. Good luck with your future prospects!" ...and then block. Alternatively, you could decide to give him a second chance, go on a date, and decide whether your instincts were correct or not after that. Either way you don't act like a child pouting on the playground giving the silent treatment.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/23 07:09 PM
0

My first thought was the title is asking the wrong question. What does a childless, STAHW offer that a couple motivated plates don't? How about in 20 years?
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/23 06:04 PM
7

If 2% of Americans have naturally blonde hair, and 13.5% of Americans have black skin, and the American population is about 332,000,000, does that mean there are about 900,000 Americans with black skin and naturally blonde hair? Human traits are not randomly distributed. If you believe the calculator does not make this error, then you must argue with the creator, who himself noted an example of this issue in the final paragraph here: https://igotstandardsbro.com/stats
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/23 07:44 PM
8

Ha! Curious, can you look up the male to female ratio population statistics for your city? That can also skew the apparent equivalency of matches if you're looking at stats from a national perspective.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 11:35 PM
28

The calculator makes a pretty basic statistics mistake. Traits clump together, especially traits for which you'd expect there to be an evolutionary reason to co-occur. For example, 60% of Fortune 500 CEOs are over six feet tall, compared to just 15% of the general population. The calculator's formula would have it saying only 15% of those CEOs are over six feet tall, underestimating the co-occurrence of the traits by 4 times. Also, you're probably young, not overweight, and not a financial wreck…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 11:24 PM
7

Much of this could potentially be benign, but there's one extremely revealing issue: We didn’t have intercourse yet but have fooled around and he insisted we watch porn whilst doing it Dude is a porn addict. You should vet out all addicts of any kind. Fortunately you found out early on.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 09:12 PM
7

You're inappropriately projecting your current marital difficulties onto OP and others. Your blanket statements reveal contempt for your current situation rather than an objective statement about what's most likely an adaptive set of traits which historically held evolutionary advantage.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 09:02 PM
9

Is he just too honest and this is how all men think? Yes. This is fairly basic evolutionary psychology; men's role in the reproductive act is quick and low-cost. Women's role involves a 9-month commitment and extended period of vulnerability with a young child. Their respective sexual instincts reflect how much effort they have to put into passing on their genes. Now, a lot of men won't be honest about this, because they're scared of the reaction they'd get if they were honest. or is his thinkin…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 07:49 PM
6

Your role is definitely not to assign yourself duties. He can delegate them, but that's different. Have you had a conversation asking him what he'd like from you, framed in the terms of how-can-I-be-a-helpful-gf and not you-create-problems-we-need-to-fix?
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 04:32 PM
8

How does *he* want his biggest supporter to support him?
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 04:30 PM
2

Any kind of onion or scallions, leaks are amazing, garlic, bell peppers would be my first thoughts for a chicken soup, but really, any aromatic is just fantastic with chicken. Carrots and celery are the classic for chicken soup but the more the merrier IMHO. Oh! If you have edamame that's a great pair with chicken too.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 03:04 AM
5

Well, mutual breakups don't exist. The instigator being magnanimous enough to give the other party the dignity of 'agreeing' does exist. Men don't keep female friends they're physically attracted to for platonic purposes. You're confusing two different things: the idea that if this is a red flag, you should insist/'make him' stop following or interacting with her. This is a red flag - he probably sees her as the one that got away. But there's no point in trying to twist his arm. Your options are…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 07:55 PM
3

F. So I've often been the struggling invalid and chronic canceller with the best of intentions. Honestly, it's made me a really "bad friend" at times. It will sound odd, but even as a teenager I remember thinking "Man, I'm glad I'm dealing with this as a girl and not as a guy." It seems I instinctively understood sickliness interfered with a man's SMV more than a woman's. Point is, his word could easily be 100% accurate and this is a Series of Unfortunate Events. I wouldn't give up just yet. At …
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 06:51 PM
6

This. Basically, use the GirlFriend Experience to provide a haven of fun and energy.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 06:38 PM
2

Did she break up with him?
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 05:01 PM
6

Honestly cut everything you have in the kitchen up and put it in, items that take the longest to cook first. Lots of aromatics. Lots of salt, because you really need the electrolytes when sick. If you have or can get bone broth that will make a big difference too (lots of nutrition in that). Go with an herbaceous spice profile for the classic chicken soup taste; you can Google something like "chicken soup spices." IME there's a lot of success going with a Mexican spice profile as well, though, a…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 04:59 PM
36

It's a rock. The ONLY thing that makes it special is what it symbolizes. The only time hearing about a ring's composition impresses me is when I hear the couple did something meaningful to them, like get inscriptions or have the band made out of material from a sentimental source. Mine was, thankfully, moissanite. I'm still pissed at myself for losing the original and hold out hope I'll rediscover it in the house somewhere some day, but I eventually lose any jewelry I wear daily. I'd feel even w…
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/23 09:32 PM
3

There's no right or wrong response to having a crooked nose. Surgeries all have risks - breathing issues after cosmetic changes to the nose are not as rare as one would hope - and should be thoroughly researched, and never undertaken without the money to have revision work done just in case. At the same time, asymmetrical facial features have a genuinely objective impact on beauty, and their modification should not be looked upon with the same suspicion that plastic surgery for subjective, trend…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/23 07:29 PM
3

You 100% there's no subcultures in the Baltic where this is normal? Because where I live you can find wildly differing traditions within a small geographic area. OP can probably observe how the men and women interact his family interact and knows what's normal in their culture. OP definitely did not present enough evidence to make anyone think her husband is lying.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/23 07:05 PM
3

Kiwi is right. The fact he HAS given you his timeline changes everything about your post. Sure, maybe he could say "Well, I'm estimating that I'll have stable income in 3-4 years" but that's not a promise, he may not want to say something knowing it can't be a promise, and business winds are severely unreliable. The whole endeavor could fail and he could need to restart. Why have you been pestering for a precise timeline? Are you unhappy that he wants to wait until he has stable income, and want…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/23 04:25 PM
17

I want my husband to put some kind of effort into my birthday, how do I help him to do this without undermining him or me feeling like I’m planning my own surprise? You can't. You want this man to lead, yes? He's explained he intends to maintain his family's culture in this area. You want to find some way to get him to reverse his decision. But it's a pretty minor thing - it's not exactly hard to think of the reasons this cultural norm may exist, or to think of downsides to the way we do it in t…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/23 03:44 PM
3

You're not really engaged - he's gone two years saying he wants to marry you without setting any date. He also is describing wanting a perpetual live-in plate, not a wife. (He gets your sexual loyalty, has no financial skin in the game, and ideally has as many other plates as he wants.) How do these split finances work if you have kids and take time off/hold back on your career while raising young children? You need to adjust your mindset from seeing this as a committed LTR - because he is not c…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/23 01:25 AM
12

What beauty competition permits you to dress modestly? They're inherently about judging a woman's physical appeal. I was saying if your Plan A is not to marry a conservative man but to be a trophy wife, you'll want to make sure you don't engage in behavior that would damage whatever your Plan B is too much. But that's not relevant since, as you said, you don't want to be a trophy wife.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/23 05:41 PM
14

If you're hoping for a Noahide guy or otherwise someone from a conservative culture, yes, they will think it's trashy. Any sexualized attention-seeking behavior is going to trigger paternity risk instincts. If you're hoping to go more for a trophy wife life, no, but be aware of what's expected of you to give up when in that arena, and also that you may have damaged your chances at Plan B if that fails.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/23 05:31 PM
10

Top recommendation? Read Laura Doyle's book for unmarried women ASAP: The Surrendered Single: A Practical Guide to Attracting and Marrying a Man Who's Right for You If a man wants to marry you, he'll at the very least say something like "Once I have a career job after finishing college" or "Once I think the business is consistently bringing in enough money I won't impoverish a family," even if those aren't a by-year-X timeline and could potentially drag on longer than is reasonable to expect you…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/23 05:18 PM
42

TLDR; Get off truerateme, possibly the internet in general, and go to the gym. Work this program at first: https://stronglifts.com/5x5/ I seriously don't know why girls touch that sub - everyone is rated 4-6. They're infamous for doing that in any girls group that treats appearance seriously. Their 5-6 is at least a 7 in real life. There's no way you're pulling a 5-6 on truerateme if you have any actually substantial looks issues. And everything else is vibe, aesthetic, and most importantly, bod…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/23 03:21 AM
2

You're in a long-distance, two-month talking stage. There's no "leading on" because... nothing is going on. He could be talking to others. (You probably should be at least looking for locals.) If you decide you want to move beyond the talking stage, you need to bring up wanting to visit him for a real date. And if he decides he wants to move beyond the talking stage, he would start talking about when to see each other next as well.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/23 08:51 PM
3

When is the wedding date?
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/23 07:28 PM
14

This is the EXACT SAME post you made eleven days ago. And similar to the texting post you made when you first started dating. "He's not promising enough! I want him to be the first to say it!" Stop that. It would have been a great way for you to express your desire for him by saying "I know it's too early, but I can't stand the idea of losing you, so it's an extremely difficult decision." By the way, you've been a couple for less than eleven days, not two months. You've been seeing each other fo…
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/23 03:30 PM
7

>don't think is enough to desensitize me >oral isn't intense enough and doesn't really turn me on anymore >it takes a long time and they have to get just the right spot with the right speed You're describing a pattern of likely desensitization, assuming there's no mental component. Quit using the vibe for a month and see what happens. "Desensitization" is not usually literally the reduced ability of your nerves to feel anything - that's hard to do. But your body's pattern recognition/"muscle mem…
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/23 06:00 AM
8

That's the diagnostic criteria for Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD), which is separate from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), but all connected on the obsessive-compulsive spectrum. 4 out of the 8 points are needed to meet the criteria for the disorder. I'd recommend reading more about OCPD. I was able to self-therapy my way from having nearly all 8 points to maybe 1 or 2 (in other words, a normal, non-pathological level of desire for control), although you can find therapists…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/23 06:18 PM
5

She's describing a trait that's definitely associated with OCD, but is not exclusive to OCD. Important difference.
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/23 05:49 PM
6

Heads up, clinical OCD isn't always what people think of OCD as - you can have OCD with only obsessions, or only compulsions, without both being required. Most things that get termed mental health issues are normal feelings taken to a detrimental extreme. I was making a shot in the dark, since the compulsive feeling that you're controlling outcomes by unrelated actions is an OCD trait, but I could easily be wrong. Before giving up that trail of thinking, though, if not standard OCD, do you see y…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/23 05:48 PM
20

Have to ask. Got any other OCD symptoms besides the magical thinking?
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/23 02:37 PM
5

How long have you been together?
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/23 01:34 AM
11

>How to say this more directly next time? You say exactly that. Him bringing up having a family and where to live was a great opening for you to say, yeah, I don't want to work once I'm a Mom. I want to focus on the family and household first and then possibly do something like run a business or help your work. It sounds like you're scared of rejection, and that's why you balked at fully speaking your actual desires. Right now, this man seems great, and you can imagine a perfect family scenario …
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/23 10:57 PM
6

In this case, "normal" means "a mature individual with street smarts."
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/23 09:53 PM
11

You can't get something for nothing. You know what he's offering that internship in exchange for. And I think it goes without saying that you shouldn't sleep your way into internships; it lowers both your SMV and RMV. How would you like to show up at the firm, everyone immediately recognize you're "his type," and never take you seriously? You're also not playing him the way you think you are - he's enjoying the fact you're willing to fawn over him just because he's powerful. He's watching you da…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/23 09:51 PM
35

So I know the advice here is usually to not put your desires to be a SAHM out in the open right off the bat I haven't seen that at all. If anything, there are frequent discussions about where you're more likely to find men who want SAHMs (certain apps or social circles, etc). One of the most frequently recommended authors around here, Laura Doyle, suggests singles should take no longer than 6 months to have an engagement decision made. You can't do that if you're playing coy about what you reall…
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/23 10:27 PM
17

>If you're a mid twenties guy and a girl looks away from you and can't hold eye contact, blushes and whispers to her friends after you talk to her etc. can you really not pick up that she actually likes you? Same thing a gossip does. And no, many can not. You're trying to send him psychic brain waves when you have a mouth and he has ears. >like any person I fear rejection You're so close to figuring it out here! Fears are something to be overcome, not to be coddled. > I definitely cannot outrigh…
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/23 05:35 PM
1

If you're looking for a reality check on whether this is a reasonable standard or not, yes, in American in most subcultures, it's disrespectful to go to a high-promiscuity environment like a club or concert without your significant other, or at minimum their approval. If you're in a subculture where "what is really cheating" is blurred, and being respectful of each other is not prioritized, you should avoid dating men from that subculture and try getting yourself into different social circles. B…
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/23 07:21 PM
9

Also, a friend of his that we met recently gave something homemade specifically saying its for me, and he kept it.. Have you not simply asked for the thing his friend gave you? Between this post and the last, a recurring theme is that you struggle to communicate. He can't read your mind. Maybe he assumed the homemade thing wasn't a big deal to you, or simply forgot about it. A simple, "Oh, remember the thing so-and-so dropped off for me? Where is that? I'd like to take it home and use it. I real…
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/23 07:13 PM
1

What is this angelic/human trait divide?
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/23 03:09 PM
32

He is calculating everything even with regards to the food we eat What does this mean? Is he on a budget and overtly saying X amount is allotted for a meal? Or more subtly just requesting you not choose the most expensive wine? Either way, TECHNICALLY the non-autistic choice is to simply go to a cheaper restaurant rather than let your date see your calculations, but I promise you any financially responsible man is having these calculations going on in the back of his head. Or do you mean he alwa…
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/23 08:06 PM
6

Are you experiencing a specific relationship problem related to this question, OP?
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/23 07:58 PM
4

Why were you 25 years old 6 months ago and suddenly 28 now?
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/23 05:45 PM
7

She's posted here before. She's the one who began in this relationship as a sugar baby. (Now says that because she's ESL, she thought sugar baby just meant age gap, but I am dubious of that because you don't say things like "It began as a sugar relationship but now it isn't" if you think sugar means age gap.) As a matter of sexual strategy, marrying for power and money, in other words maximizing the SMV she can get in a man, and not worrying too much about the RMV factor isn't automatically an u…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/23 09:07 PM
5

Cool. Except he straight up told you his actions should show you he's serious and gave you the opportunity to verbally reciprocate his interest. Which you declined to do.
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/23 08:21 PM
11

Girl! He's out there right now going "Yeah, I like this girl I'm seeing but she didn't seem interested and dodged the question when I asked her if she wanted something serious instead of casual, so I don't know if it will go anywhere." He gave you the option because it's an option. He's willing to keep things casual, even if you're not into him enough to want a relationship, because you're hot. Don't bungle that again. In fact, go back to him and say, "The other day when you asked if I wanted so…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/23 08:13 PM
67

You have a low n-count and are married with a kid. Your marriage is not breaking down over this. Marriages where both parties were virgins before each other can fail and marriages where both parties had many partners can last. N-count is a predictive factor but not a deciding factor. In fact, you may not be dealing with a breaking marriage at all but rather some postpartum depression - there's not enough information on your account to see. Please consider reaching out for medical help if this co…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/23 08:01 PM
15

I met my husband when I was 24 and he was 20. Despite having a huge crush on him I thought I had no chance because before me he had only dated teenagers! Never say never. That gap can be considered to "count more" than a mid-20's early 30's age gap as it's expected for 20 year olds and 24 year olds to have a bigger life experience gap. Now, he was an unusually experienced and established 20-year-old, and beyond the positive attributes of youth one hopes to keep (high energy, playful, ambitious, …
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/23 07:32 PM
4

You're still not getting it. If those men already know your reputation (I assume you're not volunteering the information yourself!), they are only interested in you because of it. They're category 2. They're the no-go, because they wouldn't ever wait. It's quite clear you're not going to find category 3 unless you quit sleeping with men who aren't your boyfriend. If you ARE are volunteering this information, either by bringing them around "friends" who reveal it, having a TMI social media histor…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/23 02:25 PM
8

I take it this you, and this. You keep deleting out. Reread the comments from the last few times you posted. You've got multiple endorsed contributors telling you you're going for Chad, and mistaking category 2 guys for a category 3 guys. It doesn't matter how wifey you are, if you keep going for men who only want sex... they'll just plate you, at most. My advice is to stop having sex with men unless you're boyfriend and girlfriend.
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/23 02:43 AM
14

Take it to your own lawyer for advice. The most obvious problem is that you need a specified standard of evidence required to prove infidelity or abuse, and defining what counts as infidelity or abuse in the first place. For example, in the US, "proof beyond a reasonable doubt," "preponderance of the evidence," and "clear and convincing evidence" are all different standards. "Infidelity" also doesn't automatically include sexting or strippers in a court of law. In the US custody of children is d…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/23 02:14 AM
9

It will work. Not that I'm telling you to go start a sexual relationship without exclusivity or any commitment if you have not yet, but this is absolutely vital to maintain the prince and conquered princess polarity you're describing in a LTR or marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/23 08:25 PM
2

This is called a "covert contract," where you take action so that someone else will do something in return even though no such agreement has been made. You don't clean up your side of the street to get your partner to make "lasting change." You clean up your side of the street because you're an adult who is responsible for your side of the street. You then reap the fruits of a clean half of a street. A secondary consequence could result, where your husband may end up contemplating his side of th…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/23 08:08 PM
6

This. Homebody vs. friendless are two different things.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/23 01:22 AM
2

This is very interesting to me. Can you tell me which youtubers he watches or had you watch?
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/23 06:45 AM
12

The cheating is a form of branch swinging. Branch swinging includes any behavior done while supposedly in an exclusive relationship intended to scope out other options before being willing to be honest you're leaving the exclusive relationship. This can be anything from downloading an app or flirting with strangers to see what attention you get, to making "male friends" or outright cheating until things go well enough you're comfortable you'll have a landing spot if you leave the first man. Bran…
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/23 09:01 PM
13

It's too early if you don't have a wedding date. Move out on your own and actually vet this new guy. Having your own place will likely cut down on self-destructive, low-RMV behavior like branch swinging (the cheating), as I imagine financial incentives played a role in your willingness to live a double life for six months.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/23 08:16 PM
7

Yah, like I said, I am contemptuous of a significant number of red pill creators ArkNemesis and I are not observing your contempt for nebulous content creators. We're observing your contempt for your boyfriend. From this post alone, you've said you believe he needs correcting, you recognize your respect for him is dropping, you believe he is dumb, you believe he is easily influenced, and you believe he doesn't meet the bar of being "intelligent enough to open a book," which I suppose is just cal…
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/23 01:43 AM
2

That's kind of the problem - you can't assert yourself into changing someone else. Here are your steps: Renew your efforts to communicate your desires. Don't criticize, demean, or complain; be happy and affectionate yourself when you make the request. After all, you want to receive these forms of affection because you like him, and the only reason he would respond positively would be because he likes you. Express pleasure - "I love hearing that", a big grin, a squeeze of his bicep, etc. when he …
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/23 01:06 AM
5

>The behaviors I described in my first post are apparently common and expected in their culture. Teasing, jabbing, verbal sparring etc. is very common amongst families and between close friends. They're common in various US subcultures too. My family was very uptight about things like this, and I grew up thinking it was "common decency," or even the only "moral" standard you could have around communication. But they were also very passive-aggressive. Turns out I actually prefer my husband's fami…
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/23 11:59 PM
4

I wasn't willing to use the "if he never changes, would you still marry him" line because I'm not sure OP has even made it clear to him she has this request. Maybe he would be very receptive once he realized it was bothering her, but hasn't been given the chance to demonstrate that. She made it sound like she only realized she wanted some things to be different recently while reading. Problem is she realized this from a book that encourages characterizing this as "testing" and gave her the impre…
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/23 08:12 PM
3

So... have you asked him to call you more? Have you asked him to do X or Y when you're home? Have you been persistent and pleasant in these requests? I've described that book before as "half how to have normal boundaries like an adult, half how to attract insecure men." And I don't think it's easy to parse which part of the book is which. One thing I'll say is this: Boundaries are NOT a way to make other people do something. Ever. They are ONLY about what you choose to do. So if you're spending …
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/23 05:23 PM
2

How long have you been together? Was this July/August the first break-up period?
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/23 06:04 PM
25

This sounds like a bunch of run-of-the-mill political disagreements about the cause and effect of social movements. You are, of course, convinced your takes are immutable and inarguable facts, and are probably blind to the rhetoric techniques used to sway you in the first place. (Despite your high-flung insinuation that your boyfriend lacks the "intelligence" to "read a book", a serious academic wouldn't be so closed-minded.) You do need to decide if political differences are a deal breaker or n…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/23 07:41 PM
2

99% of the time, yes. Men aren't offering to help because they think you're incapable; they're offering to help because they want to help. Exception: if I can tell he's genuinely worried about my capability for something I can manage, and it would put him out, I'll clarify I can do it and then follow his lead on whether he continues to offer or goes "Oh, OK." But that's about communicating the state of reality, when in other scenarios it would be the same as turning down a gift. Be open to recei…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/23 05:14 PM
8

We have women in the opposite position show up here all the time, and we tell them not to assume they're committed if they've never specified, not to spend an inappropriate amount of energy on someone for the stage of relationship they're in, not to stay with someone who takes too long to get to exclusivity, and not do something as risky as sleeping with someone who isn't committed. This isn't high school. The first talking stage date doesn't mean you don't have two other coffee dates set up tha…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/23 04:22 PM
6

Your best friend has either a) never assumed she was exclusive with someone before they actually were in order to realize you do in fact need an exclusivity talk if you're going to be committed at that level or b) has made that assumption before but didn't learn the right lesson and thinks the other person was doing something underhanded. I don't want to put all my eggs in one basket because I end up hurt and get attached. THIS. This is why dating casually and non-exclusively is my go-to advice …
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/23 04:15 PM
87

Do you know if he's consuming porn on top of all that sexual activity? The "can't finish without indulging in his fantasy" aspect of this suggests he's (accidentally) reprogrammed his sexual performance.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/23 07:05 PM
1

Weird question, do you have enough friends in your life or do you wish you had more?
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/23 06:50 PM
6

You may find this post helpful. http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/feminine-beauty-is-highly-controllable.html (The whole blog has a lot of gold.)
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/23 06:43 PM
2

I'm glad you're planning on keeping it long! I have no idea what people are thinking when they chop it off. I'd recommend you experiment. Color your grey to match your natural tone, see how you like it and how others respond. (Since you're calling them highlight-like, I assume they are in specific "spots" and you can recolor them to the grey/white to avoid an awkward grow-out stage if you decide to return to the grey. But discuss this with a salon worker you trust.) Personally, since hair-age ap…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/23 06:39 PM
9

That's pretty darn late to be a virgin and still assume to have an intact hymen. It often wears away bit by bit from random physical activity in the teens, even if there was no bicycle or gymnastics balance beam accident. When I got home I noticed some clear discharge on my panties The "first time" experience will not be as good because my pussy will be looser Hymenal tissue has no impact on your "looseness" - that's ALL muscle. Muscle that many women can develop a mind-body connection to and co…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/23 06:20 PM
9

Wow. So the experience of trying to put together a dinner party or somesuch for a number of interesting acquaintances and then having 1 invited couple show up would feel socially devastating to many people. That part is normal. What's not normal: - Getting drunk. Responding to stress with drinking indicates alcoholism. - Knowing only one person has RSVP'd by a couple days before and not adjusting to the situation, firstly by calling the texted people to confirm their lack of attendance and then …
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/23 11:38 PM
1

You know how everyone says SSRIs dampen libidio? I had the opposite experience when I was on escitalopram as a teenager. Can't hurt to try. SSRIs are extremely cheap even without insurance: https://www.rxsaver.com/blog/cost-of-antidepressants-without-insurance
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/23 05:50 AM
72

Make it awkward. Tell her you don't want to hear her bashing half the population for no reason, and then when she does, frown, say nothing for a moment, then change the subject. If she keeps doing it, awkwardly make an excuse to end the text conversation or quit what y'all are doing early. She'll get the hint. And definitely don't invite her anywhere there might be guys you want to talk to. Right now in this relationship she's the leader and you're the follower - you're the one looking to avoid …
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 03:31 AM
4

Heads up, one year is the standard recommended mark for folks who haven't been using any timing techniques to start getting tested. Six months is recommended if you've been tracking the individualized fertility window through something like the sympto-thermal method. Maybe things just need time but you could also save yourselves some heartbreak by running some tests and seeing if there's anything easily fixable.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/23 03:03 PM
4

Let it go. Securing commitment is a continuous activity for any woman in any marriage. At the end of the day, despite having options, options he may have even liked, he chose to come back to you, and you should take some pride in that and keep doing what you're doing. From your post history I see it was you who pushed for the separation originally. This isn't necessarily directed at you, since I'm sure you've realized how powerless you are after that choice, but for others reading the thread: un…
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/23 12:19 AM
4

Yeah, the more involved you get with this the more you'll regret it later on. Don't talk to either of them about their relationship. And if you feel like their lives impact you so much you can/should say something, that's a major flag it's time to make more of your own life separate from them and spend less time in their proximity.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/23 04:31 PM
34

I keep getting reminded of how men go for younger girls because women their age see their BS and I feel like I'm being preyed on. This is a myth. Men, of all ages and stripes, on average, prefer 18-20 years olds for pure sexual appeal. The only reason men quit going for the very young women is because eventually all but the most elite HVM can't compensate for the downsides of their own aging enough to still capture the interest of young women. (There's also a "wife goggles" or "healthy oneitis" …
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/23 01:44 PM
8

>you're currently in love with someone you're not in a relationship with >you can't imagine eventually engaging in a sexual relationship with anyone else >you think he's going to wait for you even if another great girl comes along for him >you know you need something to get your mind off him By the definition most people mean when they use the word "obsessed," this fits. You can tell yourself "Well, when I think of the word obsession, I think of x and y specific criteria that I don't meet," and …
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/23 01:41 AM
15

You probably should date a bunch of guys casually because that might help you overcome your obsession with your ex.
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/23 11:42 PM
16

Celebrating one month anniversaries is typically reserved for high schoolers. If you want so much as an acknowledgement you should mention you hope to celebrate the day, and be prepared for a surprised reaction or possible conflicting plans to already be in place. Besides that, yes, explicitly saying you like receiving flowers will be helpful. It's far better to express desires than leave them unspoken. And of course be sure to be very happy and thankful whenever he does make gestures.
/r/RedPillWives06/09/23 06:51 AM
-2

To be very blunt, you both sound lazy. Lazy people will become disagreeable and difficult around tasks, like being snarky or trying to pawn the task onto to someone else. If you're running across problems in daily life where you wish you had more strength (like carrying 35 pounds up 16 flights of stairs), the solution is to do some weight training, not fight with your partner over it! You start with, like, 8 water bottles and go up and down the stairs twice a day, and then add 4 more bottles. Pr…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/23 06:43 PM
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