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World’s Greatest Pickup Artist Goes Down

CH
July 17, 2009

Erik Von Markovic (AKA Mystery) has a 1 year old daughter named Dakota Breeze. Such a cheeseball name. It’s as if he named her knowing she’d grow up to be an exotic dancer. I couldn’t find any information about the mother. Anyhow, Mystery has put up a youtube video of him serenading his daughter in song:

A great man goes down. He’s traded in his peacocking heart medallion for a heartfelt song about his daughter. This is the end of an era. Mystery is from my generation. I attended one of his seminars (at no cost). I used his material to fuck quite a number of women. But now he has surrendered to the slow, persistent wind-down of aging, settling (at least in some small measure) for fatherhood and responsibility at the expense of the thrill of seducing fresh, piping hot pussy. I feel hollow inside.

He hasn’t completely betrayed his nature. Note the conspicuously placed “Love” pillow in the background.

Some of the youtube comments are hilarious.

Don’t game your daughter dude, not cool. Too far.

I’m wondering why he didn’t pull out in time !?!?! he’s fucked over 350 women already,.. he must know these things !

mystery ! I got to sign out now ! but very quickly, I got a question for you :
on scale of 1 to 10 how do you rate this song ?

Oh shit! When did you have a daughter? Congratulations. She’ll know all the lines by the time she’s older. She’ll be pick up proof lol

True. Dakota Breeze could be a future pickup artist’s greatest challenge. She’ll have Captain America’s vibranium alloy bitch shield. She’ll always be three steps ahead of any routine that a PUA tries to run on her. This is all assuming she gets blessed with good genes for beauty. If she’s lower than a 7, no skilled PUA worth his salty balls will hit on her, and her high paying stripper career is dead in the cradle. She’ll have to work for pocket change at some redneck roadside titty bar. Still, banging Mystery’s daughter would by quite a trophy bag. The apprentice becomes the master… and impales the master with his own sword.

I bet he’s going to be loving the game when it’s being used on his sweet little girl.

Ouch. But I bet Mystery is smart enough that he’ll logically spin some rationalization for why it’s OK that dudes running game to bang his daughter is all part of the inescapable mission statement of existence to survive and replicate. I know that’s how I would handle the cognitive dissonance.

On a VH1 Pickup Artist forum, one of the commenters dropped some juicy rumors about Mystery:

Actually Matador does wear a wig. And Mystery wears hats to cover his psoriosis and black nail polish to cover his bad nail fungus. What most people DON’T know is that Mystery, ie Erik Von Markovik, is a dead beat dad. His almost 2 yr old little girl rarely sees her dad and he has only paid about $1000 in child support in her whole life. Both Matador and Mystery tell guys to keep it wrapped but it is known that neither do it very often themselves. And if you have read Mystery’s book he actually tells guys that the way to overcome LMR (last minute resistence) is to agree with the woman but KEEP GOING. So a woman can say NO and he ignores it and does what he wants anyway.  Hmmm. And men think that is the way to treat women. How pathetic…

If this is true, I salute Mystery for shelling out only $1,000 in child support despite being worth millions. Women have to learn that getting impregnated by an alpha male cad will have costly consequences, chief of which being that such a man is less likely to provide the resources to help raise any children.

Also, like Mystery, I avoid using condoms whenever it’s feasible — I usually wait until I have been with the girl for at least a month. One night stands and short flings are CONDOM ONLY. Some trust has to be established before going raw.

I prefer to remember Mystery this way:

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Post Information
Title World’s Greatest Pickup Artist Goes Down
Author CH
Date July 17, 2009 5:24 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Blog Heartiste
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/blog/Heartiste/worlds-greatest-pickup-artist-goes-down.11537
https://theredarchive.com/blog/11537
Original Link https://heartiste.org/2009/07/17/worlds-greatest-pickup-artist-goes-down/
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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