TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

When You’re Beyond Her

Blackdragon
March 24, 2016

Iâm going to present a problem that youâve had with women in your past, or are currently having, in a way youâve probably never thought of before. When you first read it, it may not make any sense. Trust me on this one and keep going, hopefully youâll not only see my point, but also why Iâm right.

If you try to have sex with, try to date, or get into a relationship a woman you consider very hot, perhaps an 8, 9, or 10 to you, and she rejects you, your default thought as a man is usually something like this:

âShe was too hot, smart, desirable or high SMV for me.â

In other words, you werenât good enough for her. Because women are the biological sexual choosers and men are the chasers, this is menâs standard assumption.

And yeah, sometimes this is the case. Sometimes you arenât perceived by this hottie as confident enough, or good-looking enough, or wealthy enough, or whatever.

But is this always the case?

If there is something seriously wrong with you, then perhaps so. If youâre hyper-needy, have horrible game, have horrible social skills, are physically deformed, or weigh 400 pounds, then okay, I would that agree that youâre probably right in thinking that you werenât âgood enoughâ (in terms of their perception) for women who deny you.

However, if youâre a more or less normal looking guy and have at least an average level of confidence and social skills, is this still the case? Is every hot woman who is turning you down doing so because she perceives you as not good enough for her?

This might be true in a daygame scenario where you banter with a woman for two minutes, try to get her number, she says no, and you never see her again. It may also apply in an online dating scenario where she glances at your profile, decides to not respond to your opener, and moves on. Maybe.

What if she actually knows you a little, like sheâs spent at least 30 minutes talking to you in real life? Or if sheâs been on a date or two with you? Or in some cases, has actually had sex with you a few times and youâre trying to get more serious? If she denies you at any of these points, is it always because she doesnât consider you worth the time because she is Ms. Hottie McHotterson and youâre too low on the sexual marketplace scale for her?

Sometimes, maybe. But more often than you realize, I think the answer is the exact opposite. I think she thinks that on some level, you are too good for her.

There have been a few times where I knew a woman, or was actively dating a woman, and we got along great, but she pulled away from me. I knew for a fact that it wasnât because there was another man in her life, and I knew for a fact that it had nothing whatsoever to do with nonmonogamy. These were women who were clearly attracted to me on certain levels. They were plenty hot too.

This confused me at the time until I understood what was going on. One of these women told me, âYouâre a lot to handle.â Another one kept saying, âI donât understand why youâre still single!â

Recognizing these as typical, meaningless, woman-language statements, I pulled out my handy dandy woman-to-English translation device and decoded what they were saying so that I could understand in simple and direct language. The translation was:

âI canât be with you, because youâre too far beyond me.â

If a woman of low or moderate self esteem perceives you as very confident, or very successful, or desired by other women (even if these things arenât actually true), she will often pass you by because she feels that she canât be with someone that much better than her. More importantly, this is true even if sheâs extremely attractive.

Men forget that there are a lot of super hot, but low or midrange self esteem women out there. If one of these women donât want to be with you, itâs not necessarily because she doesnât think youâre good enough for her, itâs actually because sheâs intimidated by your (perceived or real) awesomeness and/or value.

This reality, which happens more often than you think, gets lost with men today because of all the bitching and whining in the manosphere about how women these days only want ripped six-pack studs or wealthy millionaires. That doesnât mean there arenât tons of hot women walking around there with serious self esteem issues. There are. More than you think.

As a matter of fact, I think both the stagnant economy and the recent sugar baby phenomenon has started to exacerbate this. Instead of the 90s and 2000s woman who declared âIâm a Strong Independent Woman⢠who Doesnât Need A Manâ¢â, the woman of the 2010s is slowly transforming into âIâve fucked up my life, so now I need an older guy to help pay my bills so I donât starve.â

Do you think thatâs good for womenâs self esteem or bad?

Forgetting Your Value

A common problem with men is that we tend to forget out own value in the sexual marketplace. Women are constantly getting hit on and drooled over, so they never forget. Women donât do this to men, even to men of high value, unless theyâre celebrities.

As men, we often forget how attractive to women we actually are. Right after my divorce, I was legitimately surprised that attractive women on dating sites were actually agreeing to go out on dates with me. Let me say that again, because Iâm very serious; I was surprised. I was almost a little confused. Why would these attractive women want to go out with me?

The reason why I thought this was because I had been married and monogamous for nine long years. That means for nine years there was no dating and no women giving me compliments or demonstrating that I was attractive in any way. All I had was the standard non-sexual, post-three-year-mark, stressed out wife who complained about everything. Not good for reinforcing your own attractiveness as a man.

Iâve talked to a lot of divorced guys, or guys recently out of a long-term monogamous relationship, or guys recently off a long-term dry spell who experienced the same thing. Once they were back in the dating pool, these men were shocked that attractive women actually showed interest in them.

You need to remember that just because women arenât throwing themselves at you doesnât mean youâre not highly desirable by a large number of attractive women. Itâs easy for us to forget, and itâs easy for us to assume that the women who donât go for us are automatically doing so because weâre not desirable enough.

Often this isnât the case.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the blog Caleb Jones.

Caleb Jones archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

Post Information
Title When You’re Beyond Her
Author Blackdragon
Date March 24, 2016 12:00 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Blog Caleb Jones
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/blog/Caleb-Jones/when-youare-beyond-her.23114
https://theredarchive.com/blog/23114
Original Link https://blackdragonblog.com/2016/03/24/when-youre-beyond-her/
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter