Most leadership guides are feel-good fluff with no substance.

Not this one.
Backed by social psychology and our deep expertise in power dynamics, these 10 laws will transform you from a good man into a respected, powerful leader.

Read on to discover how to command groups, win loyalty, and rise to the top.

1. Apprentice Yourself: Learn Culture & Power Structures

Great and effective leaders started by being followers.

But not submissive, “hide in the corner” type of followers, of course.
They are active followers.

They contribute, partake in discussions, bond and connect with members, and of course, they take over responsibilities and add value to the group.

In short: future leaders start by being great group members.

1.2. Learn About The Group

Learn about:

• Group history
• Culture and identity
• Informal webs of power 
• The most/least respected members
• Members’ personalities and histories
• Potential and aspiring future leaders (& threats)
• Current leaders:
  • What do people say about them?
  • How do current leaders act?
  • How can they use that info to position themselves?

The successful future leader embodies the group‘s norms, values, and aspirations.
He socially signals that embodiment, and positions himself as someone who can help the group and its members move forward.

Replacing VS Aligning

If the current leader falters, the aspiring leader with enough support may make a move to replace him.

But if the leader is effective, beloved, and has a strong power base, it’s better to power align.

🔎 Example: Prison Study

The BBC Prison Study allowed for intensive observation while the group strived to form leadership.

The man who came to represent the prisoners started off by participating in group discussions without taking them over.
He observed, asked, and studied. 

He probed the outgroup (the guards) and their power structures.
And he tested them, too.

And when it came time to decide who was going to speak for the group, it was he who led the group—not the most dominant man in the group-.

2. Be Prototypical: Embody The Group’s Values & Identity

The most effective leaders embody the group.

Haslam, in “The New Psychology of Leadership” describes the leader’s representativeness of the group as “prototypicality”.

Being prototypical allows leaders to:

• Receive more support
• Drive change more easily
• Be excused more readily for mistakes (and even when behaving unfairly, Platow, 2001)
• Lead without pushback.

This last point is crucial. 

The perception of power also changes with prototypicality (Fiske, 2011).
Power and influence from people outside of the group feel oppressive, while power and influence from an ingroup member is more positive.

The message for leaders is clear: trying to seem special as in “different” and “apart” from the group is a mistake.
Instead, the most effective leaders represent the group as one of their best members. 

When the leader partakes of the group’s culture and identity, we refer to “shared identity” (identity shared between leaders and followers).

🔎 Reversal of The Law: Failure of Apprenticeship

Think of leadership as a grassroots movement that takes you to the top.

The grassroots is your power base.
But to gain that power base, they must see you as a good representative.

In this fiasco, John Redwood lost the support because he displayed he was not a good representative:

Redwood: (shows he doesn’t know the Welsh national anthem) <— He sub-communicates he’s not a representative of the group he craves to lead

John Redwood’s political career went tumbling because he subtly communicated that he wasn’t representative of the group. He wasn’t “one of us”.

👉🏼 PRO Tip: Only lead groups that match your personality
So prototypicality comes naturally to you -and you’re genuine.

3. Make The Group Look Up to You: Lead by Example

“Prototypical” is NOT synonymous with “average”.

Quite the opposite.

You want to represent the group as one of its very best members.

Positively standing out makes your leadership all the more influential.
This is the essence of prestigious leadership.

You don’t need to be the best at everything.
And not even the best at your team’s core competence -especially not if you’re older-.

But you want to be experienced, and display great character.

Some crucial areas to excel at:

• Work Ethics
• Experience
  • Knowledge
• Critical thinking for superior decision-making
• Preparation, because sloppy leaders lead sloppy teams
• Character: own up to your mistakes, show you appreciate “learning” more than “being right” (see: how to develop a growth mindset)

And avoid:

• Any social climbing behavior (see example here)
• Abuses of power, including:
  • Personal vendettas
  • Sleeping with reports
  • Demanding and expecting exceptions

3.2. Lead With Empathy

Unfortunately, empathy is not a prerequisite to becoming a leader.

But John Mayer’s work supports the idea that empathy is important to be a good leader.
Such as, a leader who adds value to the team.

Leaders who lack an emotional bond with their followers are dangerous leaders.
They are more likely to use their power position to further their own ends.
Often, at the detriment of everyone around.

This is the very reason why I started this website:

4. Display Personal Power When Starting Off

First impressions are crucial. 

And they set the expectations and the baseline for future behavior.

If you start too democratic and affiliated, people will expect all decisions to be democratic and up to discussion.

Democratic leadership is great, especially with highly competent groups.
But it can become a problem if you must shift to a more forceful style because the group will feel like you “are becoming too overpowering.”

It’s better to do the opposite instead: start slightly more authoritarian. 
Then, when you become more democratic, the frame is that they “won you over” with their good behavior.
And if you need to be more direct at times, it will feel natural.

People always respect strong leaders who choose magnanimity and democracy. 
But they wonder if democratic and affiliative leaders are lacking in strength.

✒️ The Power Moves proverb

Also read:

• Power Intelligence
• Social power dynamics

4.2. Don’t Shy Away From Occasional Anger

Machiavelli once said:

It’s better to be feared than to be loved.

But here is the best part: fear and love are not antithetical.

And rare outbursts of anger or dominance in an otherwise calm and caring personality can combine the two.

The opposite is dangerous: a constantly calm and detached leader is suspicious.

Does he even have what it takes to raise his voice?
This is what the type-As, drivers, and more alpha-male personalities will be wondering.

And can he be passionate like a human being or is he some kind of emotionally impaired psychopath?
This is what the more empathetic team members will be wondering.

Put those questions to rest: show you’re both strong and caring.

See Michael Corleone, mostly calm.
But also going wild every once in a while:

Michael: (calm, then furious, then back to calm)

Do this if you don’t want to raise your voice

You can achieve the same effect with:

• Strong feedback
• Disappointment, judge style
• Telling them you expect better from them

Break rapport with disappointment.
Then, once they fix their mistake, be even warmer than before as a reward. Sub-communication: “Now (that you complied) you can regain my respect and love”.

5. Develop Groups Identities: Turning “I’s” Into “WE’s”

We define group identity as:

The way in which a group defines and recognizes itself

The group’s identity determines:

• Norms and behaviors
• Who it attracts and retains.

As a leader, you must shape and control the identity that encourages the mindsets and behaviors that support your goals.

A social identity links the group identity with the individuals. It refers to how the members define themselves in relation to the group

When social identities are weak, people don’t feel any sense of belonging to a group.
On the contrary, when social identities are strong people are proud to define themselves as group members.

John Turner, the developer of self-categorization theory, found out that when people define themselves as group members, they also start behaving as a group.

Including collaboration, going the extra mile, caring about the team, and supporting each other.

🔎 Example: Bush & The Iraq Invasion

Freedom and democracy are two major values of the American group identity.

Bush stressed, highlighted, expanded, and leveraged both to shore up support for his war.

Bush (sub-communication): We as Americans value freedom and democracy. We’ll protect our freedom and export democracy for a better America and better world

5.2. How To Strengthen Identities

Some ways to increase the group’s identity include:

• Selection to enter the group
• High standards
• Rewarding high commitment
• Strong in-group bonds
• Foster a sense of pride

Unfortunately, external enemies and hazing have also been proven to increase the group’s social identity and cohesion (for hazing, see Cialdini, 1984).

🔎🙋🏼‍♂️ Lucio’s Example: Excellence, With Fun

When I became a Toastmasters president, our culture wasn’t well defined.

Why were we even meeting?
Just to get better at public speaking? If so, they could have joined any other club. 

I wanted something more —a group who loved meeting and supporting each other.

I defined “we” as follows:

1. Highly supportive group of people
2. Who love each other’s company
3. Serious about self-development,
4. But who don’t take themselves too seriously

It’s an apparent contradiction. “We” are fun and freedom lovers. But also are driven to move forward in life while helping each other with tough-love feedback.

The clarity and appeal of our identity propelled our club to record new joiners with a strong core of members who never missed a meeting.

Also see: how to be a great Toastmasters president.

6. Leverage Intrinsic Motivation

Poor leaders focus solely on sticks and carrots.

But carrots and sticks are sub-optimal.
Machiavelli said it a long time ago: mercenaries make for bad armies.
And classical research shows that incentives might lead to compliance, but not to conversion.

Relying on carrots and sticks is also costly.
One, you must monitor followers to ensure compliance. And two, you deplete resources giving away all those carrots.

The intrinsic motivators of social identity and personal motivation instead are self-replenishing. 
See the diagram: 

In short: always lead with intrinsic motivation first.
Make people want to contribute to the team and go the extra mile for the cause.

Move Beyond ‘What’s In It For Me’

‘What’s in it for me‘ is associated with more material exchange -the extrinsic approach-.

Research shows that in politics and in non-profits appeals to identity trump the social exchange model.
But that is also true for the very best for-profit businesses. 
Organ and colleagues, for example, show that employees’ willingness to “go the extra mile” hinges on them not asking “what’s in it for me”.

PRO Tip: Minimize transaction talk and separate it from motivation
Take care of material exchanges—but keep its discussion separated. And once done, focus on intrinsic motivation. Better yet, have someone else handle the money negotiation.

6.2… But Also Control Rewards & Punishment

But let’s not be naive.

Not everyone can be intrinsically motivated.
And some tasks can work well with rewards.

Plus, it’s always better to have the full power toolkit, than just a part of it.

Finally, everyone respects a leader who could use punishments, but never does.
Here is a good maxim to keep in mind:

Your friendly handshake on the table is always most appreciated when there is a revolver in the drawer.

✒️ The Power Moves proverb

7. Reward Based On Contribution

The best contributors get to play more

Hierarchies are natural within any group.

Instead of pretending they don’t exist, base your hierarchies on contribution.
Such as, how much value members add to the group, the mission, or the mindsets.

For example, an average performer who works the hardest adds value with his example, and should be rewarded for that.

Respecting merit-based hierarchies sends the message that meritocracy reigns supreme.

7.2.: The Ultimate Team: Competitive Altruists

Barclay refers to competitive altruism when pro-sociality affords status.

That’s the ultimate “culture of cooperation”.

Even when pursuing self-interest, people contribute to the team and mission.

8. Champion & Defend Your Group: It Shores Up Support

Nobody loves and respects a leader who doesn’t stand up for his group.

And the opposite is true.

Leaders who champion the ingroup can rely on some of the most loyal supporters.
And they are allowed more latitude because people see them as “the leader who has our back and whom we can count on”.

Says Haslam:

Leaders’ capacity to exert influence—the very essence of leadership—rests on their behavior being seen to have “done it for us.”

Unfortunately, studies show that leaders can lose support when they don’t bend the rules to favor their ingroups. 

Fortunately, highly prototypical leaders who show in deeds they are in it for the group -as opposed to themselves- can allow themselves to be fair even with the outgroup.
One more reason for leaders to be fair and prosocial!

🔎 Example: Ariel Sharon Pulling out of Gaza

Pulling out Gaza in Israel was seen a betrayal of the ingroup.

But Ariel Sharon could do it without much political blowback.

Why?

Because Sharon was seen as a conservative hawk, a war hero, and a staunch defender of the Israeli ingroup.

Thanks to his reputation and a history of championing the ingroup, he was allowed to do it. 

Tip: Romance Your Spirit of Sacrifice

There are ways to do ‘fairly’ romanticize one’s battles for the group.

Bosses may tell employees how hard they fought against budget cuts.

But the line between persuasion and manipulation can be thin.

So the more Machiavellian and manipulative politicians pick a fake enemy to play tough. Then, they ride that populist anger to gain more votes and support.

This is how Trump won the election: “America first” is nothing but a promise of ingroup favoritism.

Read more:

• Manipulation dynamics
• Trump’s leadership style: dominance VS prestige

9. Be Fair: Perceived Fairness Enables Group’s Cooperation

Unfair leaders break teams into individuals.

When people perceive leaders to be unfair or corrupt, they revert from prosocial to selfish and cynical. 
They focus less on contribution and more on playing politics and befriending the leader.

That’s good for the leader, in some ways, but it’s bad for the team and goals.

On the other hand, principled leaders set the example to turn selfish individuals into a collaborative team.
That’s one of the reasons why trustworthy, honest politicians run well-functioning, wealthy countries.

In social psychology, this is called the “group engagement model” (Tyler & Blader, 2003) and it’s been shown in game theory experiments (Axelrod, 1984) as well as in animals and humans (Ridley, 1996).

Exemplary leaders show individuals that “we” is stronger than a collection of “Is”

🔎 Example: People Saved Water Based on Leaders’ Trust

Tyler and Degoey found that people limited water use based on trust in politicians, not the severity of the shortage.

Think about it: people’s prosocial behavior didn’t depend on the severity of the there but on the (perceived) fairness of the leader.

9.2. Be A Team Player

Axelrod suggests that one of the ways to foster cooperation is to signal the intention for reciprocation.

in simple words: if you want team players show that you’re a team player.

Also see: enlightened reciprocation.

10. Remove Anti-Social Individuals (Or They’ll Spoil The Bunch)

Rotten apples spoil the bunch.

Anti-socials take from the team—but that’s not even the biggest issues.
Anti-socials destroy teamwork, demotivate the top performers, and turn teams into selfish players.

Let’s quickly review the science.

Experiments in public good environments show that most people are “conditional cooperators”.

That means they cooperate as long as the majority cooperates. 
But when selfish individuals (free-riders) take more than they give, conditional cooperators stop giving.

The ‘rot’ spreads, and it becomes a vicious circle.
Then you hit the ‘tipping point’, and your team devolves into a collection of (selfish) individuals.

This is crucial, so let’s simplify: selfish individuals spread selfishness like a virus.

Solution:

Punish those free-riders.
Not only it’s good for the team, it’s great for your reputation as a leader:

Luckily, experiments show that the opposite is also true.
Positive behavior of mutual support, altruism, and value-giving cascades into more of the same.

Also read:

• How to spot takers
• To be good, you need to be bad

10.2. Nip It In The Bud: Dispatch Snakes Before They Grow Teeth

Enemies inside aren’t just bad for you, but for the team as well.

As legendary Chicago Bulls coach Phil Jackson said:

The secret of managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided

When internal enemies are left free to operate, the team splits into two sub-teams: the loyalists, and the rebellious faction.
The first victim is the team spirit.

Solution?
Ruthlessly remove your enemies.

Also see:

• Profiling toxic employees

Bonus: Prepare Your Succession Plan

John Maxwell said:

Time is the ultimate test of leadership

Even more, we add that ‘the time after you’re gone‘ is the ultimate test of leadership.

The worst infighting happens right after a great leader abdicates.
And the best empires faltered because of poor succession.

Don’t make the same mistake. Ensuring that your work survives your mortal life is your final crowning. 

With big corporations, there is no definitive answer on whether an external or internal CEO will perform better.
But successors who are too different lead to cultural drifts and potential disagreement about the organization’s identity (Balser, 2009).

Avoid that risk and choose successors who are honorable, effective, and prototypical.

Also read:

• How to build an empire
• Vulnerability is NOT power: you don’t get to be too vulnerable as a leader
• How to inspire people

We help good men go all the way from ‘good men’ to respected, beloved, and effective leaders in Power University