Germany, Not Greece Should Leave the Euro

I had faced a problem.

The new laptop I got SPECIFICALLY for being able to conduct business whilst adventuring was not recognizing the videos from the sim card I used with my camcorder.  This was quite problematic as the majority of my consulting division's business is via video and not e-mail. I then started calculating how many hours it would take to trouble shoot this problem (do I download a codec, how long is it going to take to find the answer on google, what if nobody has had this problem before), until it dawned on me that the solution was NOT to somehow force my current system to work, but to simply use the built in camcorder that came with my new laptop. 

Another instance, I was at a swing dance joint.  I was feeling pretty good about myself, dapperly dressed in a suit fresh from my banking gig, and with no commitments for the weekend, was quite sure I'd land a couple phone numbers, perhaps even a girl back at my home that evening.  However, there were very few attractive women at the club and those that were, were very stingy with the dancing.  Even those that said yes were a bit standoffish.  At first I thought maybe it was my approach or I had bad breath or something to do with me.  But then I realized it may just be the joint and not me.  I soon left to go salsa dancing and met a Russian ballet dancer (which is another story for another time).

I could go on, but there have been instances in my life where the solution is NOT the one you think you should be looking for, but one where you need to step back, take off the horse blinders, look at the problem from a wider scope and realize there is usually a much simpler, better, efficient, and cheaper solution.

And thus is the case with the current soap opera surrounding Greece.

Recently Greece voted to reject austerity measures that were insisted upon by the EU in order to continue to have the right to suck the blood out of hard working Europeans receive a bail out and further financial assistance.  However, polls also showed 74% of Greeks wanted to remain in the Euro so they can continue to parasite off of other countries for reasons that are not too clear and ironic.

Naturally, the balless EU and its largely pansified, socialist member nations didn't dare play hardball, delivering rightly-due punishment to the communist Greek government.  They instead said the door "still remained open for negotiations" which will continue to go forever and ultimately be like collecting on a mortgage of a $30,000-naire "Dudebro" and "Ditzytrophywife" American couple who bought a McMansion in 2006 on an adjustable ARM with their "part time sales" and "hair stylist" jobs.

So what is the solution my fine aspiring, young, deputy economists?

Is it to kick the can down the road again (and again, and again ^n x infinity?)
Is it to kick Greece out of the EU, forcing it to print off quintillion of "drachmas" and have the idiot bankers who lent them the money bite the bullet?
Should you send in tanks as would have been the norm back in 1800's?

How about something much simpler?

How about Germany leaves the EU?

While everybody is focusing on the screaming spoiled brat child in Europe, throwing its temper tantrums (that would be "Greece" if you didn't know), nobody is focusing on the one sole adult in the room, and that would be Germany.  Germany, by nearly all measures is a superior, more responsible, more productive, and more intelligent country when it comes to economics than Greece is.  It has only ran a deficit of 2% GDP the past 15 years (while recently balancing it) while Greece has ran a deficit averaging around 10% (halving it to "only" 5% today).  Germany's labor force participation rate is (a still laughable) 60.3% today, while Greece barely has half it's able bodied people LOOKING for work (52%).  And Germany's government spends (again "only") 44% GDP while Greece's spends 59% (while still screaming bloody murder over the "draconian" calls for austerity). 

We could go on, but you get the point.  You can look at nearly every economic measure at the OECD comparing Germany against Greece and see that one country is a reliable, responsible, productive adult and the other is a petulant little spoiled child.

However, there's another interesting thing about Germany.

Germany, is the ONLY adult in this daycare center euphemistically called the EU.  Again, Greece is merely the loudest child, but if you look at the finances of nearly every other EU member, they're no better than Greece.  France, Italy, Portugal, you name it.  They all have debts approaching the point of being unpayable and populations that are just as delusional and just as entitled as their Greek siblings.  And what this ultimately means is that the only real net-economic producer in this Euro-zone is Germany, making it the host to all the other parasite nations.

Alas, the solution is clear.

We can focus all the attention and negotiations and can-kicking and bail outs on Greece all we want.  But Greece is merely one of many more countries that will be going through the same thing.  It would be much easier for the EU's sole economic producer to abandon it's position of "host to the parasites," and let a Germanyless EU suffer its own fate.  Germany could start the printing presses tomorrow, re-releasing the Deutschmark and at a rate I'd say around 2 Euros to 1 DM.  There'd be international demand for it, and given German speed, intelligence and efficiency, they would lose at MOST 1% of GDP making the adjustment (which would save them the roughly 3-5% GDP the Greeks have been leeching off of them via bailouts).

But most importantly of all,

We Americans would no longer have to listen to this BS, soap opera drama where you European idiots ACTUALLY LENT MONEY to a socialist nation and thought they'd pay you back.

We can get on to much more important things like talking about Bruce Jenner or the Kardashians.

As they say "Auf Deutsch"