I just lost my first love.
We were together since I was 17, each other’s first everything.
She was beautiful, really put together. Never talked back to me, never said no when I was in the mood to get inside her.
She was with me for 11 years, through good times and bad. We traveled the country together, almost died together a few times.
She had health problems a few times and I stuck with her to nurse her back to health, at my own expense.
Sometimes we even shared a woman together.
And now she’s gone.
(Yes, I am talking about my car.)
See, I was one of those spoiled brats whose parents bought them a car in high school.
(It’s not my fault your parents were poor. )
But I was also one of those guys who treated his car like gold: washed it every chance I got, never missed an oil change, never let a woman drive it. The usual.
But my baby got sick: She couldn’t hold her liquids. (Irrepairably corroded gas tank.. among other problems). She would cost more to repair than her Blue Book Value.. much more.
So I sold her to my mechanic for an amount that couldn’t even compare to her sentimental value.
I signed over the title, dropped the key in his greasy mitts and just stared at her sitting in the cracked auto repair driveway.
I was filled with emotion.
I wanted to cry.
I actually tried to cry, but I couldn’t.
Weird, but I would have felt entirely justified. Until that point I wouldn’t have considered “selling a car” as a moment that its okay for a guy to cry, but it is now on my free pass list.
If you ever sell a car you’ve had for over, say, 6 years, feel free to weep. I will defend your right to do so.
As it stands, I am currently on a four year no cry streak and I can pinpoint the exact date (grandmother’s funeral).
And that’s nothing, I have a buddy who has an 8-year no vomit streak. And he drinks.
So when else can a man cry?
Death of a dog
Death of a family member
Extreme joy from accomplishing a long-fought mission (think Rudy crying when gets accepted to Notre Dame).
Joyful reunion with a long-lost family member (maybe?)
I’ve been lucky enough to never experience a devastating injury, but that might go on the list. I don’t know.
My list goes blank after that.
You could have persuaded me that a nice tear at the altar while getting married might be manly…until I was at a wedding where it actually happened: weirdest thing ever. The brides tears are expected. The grooms tears make everyone feel awkward.
Anyways, am I missing anything?
(For the record, I think if a guy needs to purge emotion through tears for whatever reason its okay, just do it alone and never speak of it.)
