Yesterday’s post on Baby Adoption and Race was not only powerful in its own right, but also kind of puts the icing on the cake as it were, when one considers the nature of my postings of late. In the main, they were focused on Black Men, and the challenges they face. If we put them together with what we already know on this score, and add again, yesterday’s post, a powerful, mind-numbing narrative emerges.
We know that Black Men are twice as likely to be unemployed, even when controlling for college education, when compared to White Men. We know that Black Men are six times more likely to be in prison, parole or probation, than White Men. We know that Black Men have shorter lifespans than White Men, the going average now is around 70 or so. We know that Black boys are more likely to be suspended and/or expelled from school, to be disciplined more often than their White counterparts, and to drop out of highschool at a rate significantly higher than White boys. We also know that they are more likely to be prescribed behavioral modification drugs like Ritalin, and to be assigned to Special Ed classes, more than White boys.
We know that Black Men suffer from diseases like prostate cancer at a much higher rate than do White Men, that an African American young Man has a better chance of survival in Baghdad or Khandahar than in Baltimore or Washington, DC. We know that Black Men are often the last hired and the first fired. We know that Black boys are adopted dead last, and at a quarter of the price as Asian babies from avowedly Communist countries. And we know, for a fact, that Black soldiers were often treated worse than sworn enemies of the United States government.
We also know that Black Men have far and away more run-ins with the nation’s police force than anyone else, certainly more than White Men. Nor will his manner of speaking or dress will matter much-last year’s incident involving well known Ivy League academic Henry “Skip” Louis Gates, proved that, as if Black Men needed any more such evidence. For Black Men-*any Black Man*-merely stepping outside one’s door for something as mundane as going to the corner store can prove deadly.
When one just stands back and takes all this in, just lets the stats and data of just about every measure that industrialized societies considers important, and notes the fact that Black Men come in at or near dead last, the effect is as if one has been sucker punched with a concrete fist. Perhaps then, it is understandable as to why so many Black Men seem apathetic, deeply cynical and defensive. After all, psychologists say that a bunker mentality is a common defense mechanism to protect oneself from real or perceived threats.
All of these thoughts occurred to me yesterday, while having a conversation with a good friend o mine of over a decade. We often discuss racial issues, politics and the like, and we often disagree with each other, especially when it comes to the divide between Black Men and Women. And to be sure, yesterday’s convo was no different; but I had an epiphany during the exchange:
One major reason why Black Male/Female relations is so fraught with acrimony in our time, is because in a very real sense, Black Men and Black Women live in very different worlds.
As we’ve noted here in this forum, Black Women, taken as a group, have made significant gains that Black Men, in aggregate, have not. For example, we’ve seen how education has undeniably and literally paidoff for Black Women, often exceeding the incomes earned by White Women. We cannot say the same thing for Black Men. Moreover, Black Women have gained tremendously from the Women’s Movement-for example, it is documented that Black Women make up a full third of all abortions performed in this country, a bedrock goal of the Feminist cause. And again, Black Women have made powerful gains.
This helps to explain the views of many Black Women toward Black Men, after all, “the system” works for the former in ways that it just does not for the latter. Even Black girls can be adopted quicker than Black boys.
None of this is to suggest that Black Women don’t have their fair share of problems and challenges-they must certainly do-nor do I want to give the impression that Black Women have made gains at the expense of Black Men-I don’t feel that way, either. Still, its hard to deny the basic and simple facts on the ground. As noted earlier, Black Men die of prostate cancer and a much higher rate than do White Men, and to date there has been nothing done about this; meanwhile, Black Women have the comfort of knowing that not only the current President, but several ones before him, have made tackling HIV and AIDS in Black America a major area of concern, because Black Women were impacted the most. And that’s not including breast cancer awareness, heart health, and so on.
Personally, I think Black Men know a lot more than they’re willing to let on about their place in American life and how they feel about it. Perhaps this explains the higher rates of hypertension and the like among Black Men. Surely, the swirl of deep emotions emanating from all of the above, has to have deleterious health effects. Something else that, to my knowledge, has never been studied.
At any rate, I think this explains why Black Men don’t seem to have that kind of gung-ho spirit that other groups, and even Black Women, seem to have. That’s hardly surprising, when put into perspective of the things I layout here.
One of the things that occurred to me yesterday during my convo with my buddy, was that for Black Women, particularly those who have had the college experience, the world of possibilities is open to them; the gulf between them and Jennifer and Emily, isn’t that wide after all.
Until its time to find a husband. Then, Reality comes crashing in.
In my personal travels, I am struck by just how many Black folk consider themselves “post racial”. Although I didn’t catch it at first, something dawned on me: the majority of those who took such a view, were Black Women, not Black Men. To be sure, a few Brothas were in the mix, but the overwhelming majority were Sistas who felt this way.
Now I understand why. For many Sistas, life really IS “post racial”. Brothas on the other hand, cannot say that. Not with the vim and vigor with which so many Sistas do.
There will be those who read this and say that whatever problems Black Men have and now face, are problems of their own making. Indeed, we can and will continue to hear this line of reasoning from newly minted American citizens, fresh off the boat, and eager to tell Black folks, Black Men especially, what’s “wrong” with them. Nor will they be alone-for scores of more native born Americans will think the same way, not the least of which, will be Black Women.
And to be sure, Black Men have shown that they are quite capable of indulging in self-destructive behavior, “proof positive” for the views of those mentioned above. What gets lost in the shuffle of course, are things like the adoption story, or middle aged Black academics being spread eagle on the hoods of police cars.
Perhaps the most interesting-if not difficult-part of all this, is in how we impart what we know above, to the next generation of Black Men. On that score of course I don’t know what any of you would say to your son, brother, cousin, grandson or nephew; but I know for a fact that I cannot look at mine and tell them, that they can be whatever they want to be with a straightface. The best I can tell them is that it is possible.
Which is quite a far sight from what is probable.
The Obsidian
