In my experience, when you run into a woman at a bar and she’s alone, she inevitably falls into three camps:
- She’s waiting for someone, or a group.
- She’s married.
- She’s ditched the boyfriend
Numbers 2 and 3 are women that are out to assert their femininity, get revenge on their spouse or boyfriend, or some other fun little idea percolating through their head.
Whatever the reason, they are out their to get laid by the first man that makes the cut.
So if you pick up a woman that’s by herself, realize that there is a high probability that it is #2 even if she isn’t wearing a ring and denies it. You have been warned.
If you see the married woman more than that night, there are several advantages: The amount of time she will take is considerably less than single women. The demands she will make on you will be considerably less than single women.
The disadvantages, other than the moral ones, are that there isn’t any long-term potential . . . wait that is an advantage. Let me think, oh yes, I remember: the husband.
At some point the woman you are with is going to want to get caught. Either because they have nothing but contempt for their husband, or because its a cry for help, or because they’re self-destructive, or perhaps simply because they want more drama, or they want their husband to understand that they need to change or to exert power over the man.
The reason does not matter. The behavior does. I hate to side with the behaviorists on this one, but why women do things doesn’t really matter, especially since they don’t understand why they’re doing it anyway and making up reasons for it afterward.
So when the husband realizes what’s going on, he may decide to confront both of you.
How do you handle it?
Simple. When it happened to me I did one thing:
I didn’t do anything.
The husband expected one of two reactions:
- Getting defensive
- Getting aggressive
I didn’t do either. I watched my body language. Stayed open. Remained calm. And said as little as possible.
When he offered his hand, I took it. I did not try any stupid hand crushing games, I kept the grip firm and brief. I acted like I was meeting any other person in the world.
All the little scenarios in his head did not play out the way he expected. His wife acted flustered and asked him to leave, which he didn’t initially, but as things dragged on and he didn’t get the results he wanted, he eventually left.
He expected me to react either aggressively and make fun of him or mock him, or get defensive and lie to him. Either way he would feel justified to go on the offensive.
Showing fear, smirking, or make fun of him, is inviting a fight.
He did not expect nothing from me. It disconcerted him.
