I was thinking about the gamut of emotions and thoughts that went through my head when I realized that almost everything I’d been taught about men, women, and the interaction of the sexes was either wrong, misleading, and/or an illusion. Then I thought about the Kubler-Ross model, also known as the five stages of grief. On further reflection, it seemed like as good a framework as any to discuss some of what I see in our little corner of the blogosphere.
Originally the five stages were used as a model for the stages a person goes through when diagnosed as terminally ill. Later Kubler-Ross expanded it’s use to any situation involving catastrophic loss (you can be the judge on whether having life long illusions stripped away can be considered catastrophic. I suppose it would depend on the individual. In my case I don’t view it as such.). Keep in mind the stages do not have to come in the order they are presented here, nor do all stages have to be experienced. The caveat being that Kubler-Ross believed that anyone experiencing grief will go through a minimum of two stages. Also keep in mind that it is possible to go back and forth through many of the stages. There is no linear progression.
Stage 1 – Denial. Women aren’t really attracted to bad boys. They aren’t or can’t be hypergamous. Game doesn’t work/game is nihilistic/game is reductionist. Game is manipulative/lying/false. People aren’t ruled by base animal instinct.
Stage 2 – Anger. Women want to enslave men. The system is rigged against men. Righteous fury at the raw deal that is marriage, divorce, and the child custody laws. I will shout my defiance from the rooftops.
Stage 3 – Bargaining. Not all women are bad. There are some good women 0ut there, I just have to find them. Surely some woman will appreciate me for me. I don’t have to change my behavior.
Stage 4 – Depression. No woman will be able to provide a close interpersonal relationship of mutual respect and openness. The only person I can count on is myself. I can be happy just doing my own thing.
Stage 5 – Acceptance. Women will always be capricious, flighty, emotional, myopic creatures. I can appreciate women as they are and learn the skills necessary to turn the odds in my favor.
Feel free to discuss, disagree, and refine any of my statements above. Also it should be noted that there is some disagreement on the relevance and/or applicability of this model. Scientific studies have yet to prove any of the above stages are actually what people go through. More recent data appears to be more mixed on that subject (According to wikipedia, not necessary the most reliable of sources).
