Yes, we’re talking about the Edward of Twilight and yes we’re talking about his penis, or more precisely a Dildo that was made for all the Twilight fans.
Now at the bottom of the article is a big disclaimer by the company that makes the vampire, translucent glittery dildo, but the fact remains that this is their number one seller at the moment.
Number One.
Choice quotes:
“ sex shops all over the world started calling us up, wanting to put orders in. It became their top-selling toy”
“We did have people write in and tell us that Edward was bigger than that.” (Even vampires can’t catch a break)
“There were plans to do a “True Blood” line as well. There were going to be two, one called “the Nordic Warrior” and one called “the Southern Gentleman,” for Eric and Bill.”
And finally:
The idea of a “Twilight” sex toy seems to clash with the books’ message of abstinence.
A lot of people have pointed that out but, from what I’ve seen, the majority of fans are just not concerned about that. The whole thing is a fantasy; it makes sense to sort of have fun with it.
How long until we have counseling groups for vampire addiction? We should have them now.
This whole thing makes me laugh until it hurts.
Women protest being “chattel” and yet the long for men that treat them like chattel, like prey.
The next time you’re dealing with an adult female and you find out she’s a Twilight fan, just imagine that she already stuck a glittery faux vampire phallus in her vagina and forever after you’ll have the right attitude toward her – a vampire like contempt.
