A 30 something woman at work divorced her husband several years ago because she was sleeping with his best friend. Unable to deal with the betrayal; the husband steered the relationship into the ground – minus the safe landing pulled off by Capt. Sully. Before her treacherous escapades began, my coworker coaxed her husband into becoming swingers in order to fill the void that a lone penis couldn’t fill. It dawned on me: swinging is backdoor cuckoldry – husband-approved.
Women use swinging as an excuse to increase their lay number or satiate their libidinal desire without feelings of remorse or guilt. While most husbands are principally opposed to sharing their partner – a bedrock of the swinging lifestyle – they are usually forced into it in order to keep their wives happy. While women are jealous of their man laying the pipe on another woman, men are much less equipped to handle their woman in the arms of another man.
This article in TangoMag described a DC swinger coven. The article makes clear that swinging is “all about the women”. In this underground world, women call the shots. They decide which couples are attractive enough and whether or not the vibe between the dyad is fluid.
Lori, a DC-AREA LAWYER and mother of two, describes the process by which she shamed cajoled her husband into the lifestyle:
“Me, me, me, me, I’m a selfish shrew. Nyah, nyah, nyah. Pussy. You’re not a man if you don’t swing.”
Oh shit, sorry, I was typing in a foreign language: femmespracht. Here’s what Lori actually said in English.
“I’m bisexual and a very sexual person. My husband and I had conversations about it even before marriage, and in the years that followed he wasn’t interested at all, so I dropped the topic.”
Six years later, after talking the issue over for a year, the husband caved and started accepting sensory-dulling sexual electroshock therapy in the form of other women in exchange for foreign dong intrusions into his wife’s private parts. If she’s not into swinging solely to have intercourse with another man, she’s made clear that she’s interested in the other woman – basically marginalizing the men. For both husbands, they have to live with the fact that not only does their wife have sex with another man – causing lifelong flashbacks and PTSD (Post Traumatic Swinging Disorder) – they aren’t even wanted by the other wife they’re banging. Swinging is a ploy for women to get their rocks off; the cost is male emasculation.
As I’ve mentioned before, the act of lesbianism should be unappealing and lackluster to men. As a man, my penis is as welcome in that setup as a turkey at a vegan Thanksgiving. The appeal of lesbos is their attractiveness as two seperate naked entities, not as an intertwined erotic act.
After hitting the Two-Year Wall, an ex-girlfriend of mine started talking about how she wanted to have a threesome with me and another girl. Most guys would jump at this opportunity to check one of the boxes on their “bucket list”, but like a Grandmaster Chess player, I saw several moves ahead. The relationship was faltering, and my girlfriend at the time was no lesbian. She was trying to outflank me by offering up the vagina of another woman as a peace offering then using that Trojan horse to introduce other ball sacks into the mix. It was cunning strategy on her part, but common sense told me all was not as it seemed. I shot down all mention of threesomes and got shit from my friends for not capitalizing on the situation, but I wasn’t willing to accept sex from another woman if that meant my girlfriend would have a reasonable argument to take the sexual experimentation to other realms. Whether she ultimately sought to incorporate another guy into the mix, I’m not sure, but I didn’t want to leave that door open.
Threesomes are for singles. For men in LTRs or marriages, the lifestyle sounds like a deal with the devil. Women take advantage of the faulty ground men occupy in today’s society. Turning over the sexual decisions to the feminine is all-too-common among men today – the feminists are jumping out of their Birkenstocks. Always remember, when something sounds too good to be true, it is. As we have learned repeatedly in our studies of evolutionary psychology and the disparate natures of men and women, how can we expect both sexes to have similar peachy-keen responses to such hedonistic endeavors? Also, do alpha/beta dominance hierarchies suddenly disappear among swingers? One couple or one particular person is going to be more attractive; there is always fallout from such incongruencies. We can’t rationalize these tendencies in order to make swinging work, so its a situation best left alone.
I’ll end with a follow-up question that I posed to my co-worker. I asked her if its true that swingers are able to overcome their jealousy; I’ve always heard the meme that swinging leads to healthier relationships blah, blah, yadda. Speaking for herself she said that she became extremely jealous of the wives of the other men; not because they scored with her husband but because they had more steady access to their own husbands; her husband couldn’t handle the jealousy either. She also pointed out that most couples she knew became overly jealous in one way or another and that fights were common. Her first-hand account is completely opposite that of the TangoMag article; my gut instinct tells me to believe that the coworkers experience is more true to life.
