Addiction is a real phenomenon, and most people who have smoked as well as quite a few who drink alcohol and coffee will confirm that. Breaking an addiction can be quite difficult for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the psychological component of addiction, which can send those suffering from withdrawal into anything from an annoyed to a profoundly depressed state. However, it IS possible to break an addiction. People who do so of their own accord tend to have far higher success rates than those who seek out or are ordered into “treatment.” This fact should focus some serious scrutiny on the enormous treatment industry even where hard addictions such as alcoholism and drug addiction are concerned.
Once we drift further and further from the hard, undeniable addictions we get into the realm of more nebulous cases of so-called addiction, such as porn addiction, video game addiction, sex addiction, etc. There is certainly a psychological component to these forms of compulsive behavior, but there is no alteration of the brain’s natural chemistry with exogenous substances, such as cocaine, ethanol, nicotine, and others too numerous to list. In my opinion, the term “addiction” ought only to be appled to the latter. Other forms of behavior would be more properly termed “compulsions,” which are definitely a characteristic of addiction, but do not exactly equate.
Compulsions are not always a bad thing. In fact, we often feel compelled to do things that end up benefiting us throughout our lives. They are a necessary part of our psychological makeup, and a large part of what keeps us ticking throughout the years. It is, however, easy for clever people to manipulate compulsions, and make a lot of money by doing so. Hence we find that Blizzard Entertainment is raking in money by selling World of Warcraft to compulsive gamers, certain individuals grow very wealthy off porn sales, and women are generally enticed into shopping sprees everywhere one looks.
A sexual compulsion is probably one of the most natural of all. Without it, after all, the human species would be in the same boat as the panda bear, which evidently has a very low interest in mating. People, and the young in particular, do not require very much manipulation to engage in sex. In fact, it has always required a great deal of conditioning to get them to avoid having sex in inappropriate circumstances. This has generally been understood throughout the ages as a timeless reality.
But not so anymore. Recently news reports that Tiger Woods has entered a sexual addiction treatment center – the Pine Grove Behavioral Health & Addiction Services Center – have surfaced, adding him to the list of celebrities who have sought out sex addiction treatment. Mr. Woods, either intentionally or not, is now displaying himself as a victim of an “addiction” over which he has no control — an addiction he needs “treatment” for. No, it isn’t that a young, healthy man let his success go to his head; it is that he suffers from some disease if you believe it, and the good people in Pine Grove are there to make him get better.
The sex addict treatment regime at Pine Grove appears to be fairly onerous, consisting of constant monitoring, being locked in, and a prohibition of any kind of sexual activity at all, including masturbation. There are also daily psychological evaluations and counseling – ordeals in and of themselves – and activities that don’t sound all that appealing. The treatment lasts some six weeks.
For the therapists and owners of these centers, getting a patient like Tiger Woods must be something of a bonanza. This is becoming a real industry with a substantial amount of income, and threatens to spread out to the wider population, as so many of these fads do. This is really where the problem lies.
Woods himself probably knows that sex addiction treatment is a waste of time, but in all likelihood it was inserted into an intra-marital agreement (similar to a prenup, but written during the marriage rather than before) by his vengeful wife. Just as DV treatment, substance abuse treatment, anger management, psychological treatment and various other evaluations and regimes can be forced by the party with the upper hand – that is, the party that will win custody, which is almost always the woman – now we can add sex addiction treatment to that list.
Along with their attorneys, angry wives and ex-wives can make men jump through all sorts of hoops to see their children. Men rarely have the power to do the same, and even when they do they tend not to make full use of this power as women do. Perhaps this has something to do with the different nature of the sexes, but it probably is also a result of caution on men’s part as the last thing they want to do is appear “vengeful” or “abusive” in front of notoriously feminist judges and commissioners, whereas women need not restrain themselves.
So I can pretty much guarantee that if sex addiction treatment becomes widely accepted, it will soon become part of the divorce industry, and it will be overwhelmingly men who are subjected to it. Certainly, adultery is just as common amongst women as men (it takes one of each to consummate an adulterous coupling, after all), but there is no way that – barring work in the “sex industry” – women will be ordered to attend sex addiction treatment at anywhere near the frequency men will.
If we lived in a practical society with some sense of decency, adultery would be seen for the moral failure and betrayal of one’s spouse that it is. Those betrayed by their spouses, ultimately, should have two choices: forgive or divorce. If forgiveness is the choice, legally enforced punishment should be off the table. Divorce, as many of us know, is punishment enough. There is no need to add one more tool to wives’ already overflowing arsenal of legal weapons, nor should we give them more incentives to abuse family law to punish their husbands.
