I was alerted to an article in Feministing about a VH1 “reality” show called “Dad Camp,” in which a bunch of single pregnant women get to decide whether or not to “allow these men [the children's fathers] to be romantically involved with them as they raise their children.”
Of course, Feministing posted this article directly before Father’s Day, which tells us all we need to know about the fine women who run the site. Rose Afriyie, the author of the article, referred to the men as “ain’t-shit baby fathers,” and suggested that absent fathers are inherent criminals. Sadly, a number of conservative men share her view. In fact, Rose’s language exactly mirrors what I could imagine coming out of some bigoted, backwoods judge’s mouth (honesty, I can’t wait until those socon dinosaurs are all in their dotage – or at least retired – leaving the feminists all alone in this world to bray into the wind).
In another parallel with with socons, the poor little pregnant women are portrayed by Rose as innocent victims in this game. Why, you’d think they were all virgins until they were fooled by some sneaky bastards imitating prince charming. Maybe the guys hypnotized the pants off the innocent little things, who surely never had any dirty thoughts ever in their lives.
But what really gets me angry is the automatic assumption that any man who isn’t there with his kids is a deadbeat. So many of us tried to be fathers, married women with the foolish idea that we were “doing the right thing,” and then got burned and unceremoniously yanked out of our children’s lives. By the standard employed by feminists and socons, a man can be a deadbeat whether he marries the woman or not. If he doesn’t live up to her standards, no matter how impossible, no matter whether he physically can, a man is a “deadbeat.” A man whose wife cheated on him, taking his house and putting him out on the street, causing his life to unravel so that he can no longer afford the bills and child support ordered by a judge, is a “deadbeat.” A man who is injured at work and can’t afford child support with his worker’s comp is a “deadbeat.”
They may say “no, we don’t mean you,” but the laws say otherwise. Deadbeat means only one thing: father. It is the only category that is absolutely open to every father in America. You may not be able to see your kids when you want (if at all), you may have no say in who babymomma drags in from the bar at night for some liquor-fueled love in the bedroom next to the kids, but you can always be a deadbeat.
So why should there be a camp for dads? Men have no realistic choice in the matter of whether or not to be fathers to their children. It is all up to the women, so what could this camp possibly be besides a gratuitous exercise of power over the men involved? Well, feministing pretty much gives it away by endorsing the show for “empowering” the single-mothers-to-be. This show merely demonstrates what depths a society will sink to when the highest virtue is “empowering” women — even and especially those who make the irresponsible, selfish choice to become single mothers.
