[Today's guest post was written by Meistergedanken]
Just thought I would share a story… There are a couple commenters here who every so often show up only to accuse the SH readership of being whiners who do nothing but complain about their circumstances and how unfair society has become. “You losers never DO anythingâ€, they intone self-righteously.
Well, last weekend my sister-in-law was getting married to her lost-cause beta provider (who will provide her with the funds necessary to mold her two daughters from the first marriage into the princesses they deserve to be), and my wife and I were hosting their cousin from Las Vegas, who brought along her boyfriend of six months.
While the women were out Friday night cutting loose with a “bachelorette†party (the purpose of which escapes me, because while the bachelor party is commemorating a voluntary relinquishment of freedom, the “bachelorette†is only getting more control), I was tasked with spending time with the boyfriend. I stifled my introverted nature and made an effort to get to know him, and he turned out to be more interesting and intelligent than I anticipated. He’s 24, currently unemployed because he lost his IT job, and aware that he is at a crossroads. Over a fine dinner and a few drinks we talked about goals, and how to be content in life, and how crazy everything is right now. I sensed my opportunity, and I took it…
I told him about the hidden pitfalls of long-term relationships, and we discussed gender dynamics. I told him about how marriage for Western men is a raw deal. I described what you lose, and what you gain (not much), and warned him as much as I was able. He was receptive and agreed with everything I said, having suspected some of it already, and had lots of questions about why women act the way they do, which I did my best to answer. We had a great time, despite all the heavy discussion.
The next day the cousin was curious as to what we talked about for six hours, and without disclosing the above, we mentioned a host of other topics that came up, making her eyes widen in wonder. “I think you know more about my boyfriend now than I do!†she exclaimed. ‘That’s because you talk too much, and don’t listen enough,†I replied. She frowned.
At the wedding reception Sunday evening, the boyfriend made an off-the-cuff comment about how, even if he did ever get married, it would be many years from now, causing the cousin to storm off in a huff. I gave him kudos for the sentiment, but cautioned him at his lack of discretion.
Last night, my wife said “I don’t know about the boyfriend, he doesn’t seem to want to make a commitment. I think he’s immature!â€
“Ha!†I thought to myself, “maybe he’s more mature than you think.â€
We know better, don’t we, gents?
Our success will come with that old, but still puissant mechanism: word-of-mouth. If everyone on this site can just convince one or two guys a year to open their eyes and make a few different choices, then the impact will inevitably ripple throughout the entire society. It’s Chaos Theory at its finest.
