It was a real treat to hear Paul on the air last night — putting men’s issues on air was something that needed to be done. Paul’s got a knack for conversation and a good voice for radio, and Keyster’s got the tech skills to make it a good production. But aside from the quality and obvious demand for this programming, it accomplished on the very first day something I hadn’t expected, or even considered.
Before I heard the first AVfM broadcast, I listened to an NPR program a friend pointed out. The show featured Kay Hymowitz and Michael Kimmel, who supposedly come from opposite sides of the spectrum, but as far as I could tell agreed on everything but the details. It was a 30-minute program, during which both discussed the plight of men. NPR fielded some calls, and it was obviously a subject a lot of men wanted to talk about. The premise Hymowitz and Kimmel were operating under was that there’s something gone wrong with men. For Hymowitz, they aren’t “manning up,” and Kimmel asserts essentially the same thing by saying that adolescents and young men live in this toxic “guyland.” According to both of them, young women are doing just fine. It was typical fare, but a few guys called up and took issue with it. Amusingly, one young woman called up to say that while she wanted “mature” guys, she also enjoyed “free-spirited” men and wasn’t really interested in a sober, family type, thus proving what guys like Ferdinand Bardamu have been writing about young women.
If that NPR show were the only discussion we had about men’s issues, we’d be in a depressing situation indeed. As Jack Donovan has pointed out to me, people like Hymowitz and Kimmel live in a cultural bubble of academics and pundits in New York. No matter what position they take on issues, they’re essentially part of the same club. They may be of various ethnicities and religions, some may be Republicans and some Democrats, but when it comes down to it they share a similar set of values and lifestyle. They know the same people, attend the same cultural events, send their kids to the same schools, etc. Given the size of our greater civilization, they are a tiny little slice of the whole, but somehow they have seized the cultural podium, and we’re far more likely to hear their opinion than representatives of any other cultural group. Sometimes, when they come up with their incredibly off-base assessments I wonder whether they really are that removed from ordinary reality. That might be the case.
After listening to the NPR program, I tuned in to hear the second half of the AVfM opening broadcast, when Paul Elam was taking calls. I heard stories just like my own. I heard guys from all over North America. I saw a blazing chat board. Men were coming in from everywhere — all over the place. And all sorts, too: White men, Black men, Asian men, you name it. The contrast between the NPR show and the AVfM show couldn’t have been greater. On the one hand you had a discussion between insiders – representatives of a tiny group of people – and on the other there was this broad movement of men from all over the map. It was extraordinary, and really put things in perspective. From this contrast, it became apparent that we don’t really have to worry about what Michael Kimmel and Kay Hymowitz have to say — our message and our group is bigger. Our potential is far greater. All they have is a few fading institutions, while we have a wide open land.
As much as I looked forward to hearing the first AVfM broadcast, I didn’t expect to get such an optimistic first impression, nor did I expect to come away so convinced that there is a popular mandate for change. And the best thing about it is that this is just the beginning. Although I’m not sure everyone is going to want to spend much time listening to Hymowitz and Kimmel on NPR, after hearing AVfM you will have an entirely different impression of these two people living in a cozy little elite bubble. You will hear a couple chummy people talking as though they are at a dinner party in the Manhattan — talking to themselves for all intents and purposes. They may still think they are talking to the “right people” and the “people that matter,” but the men we are talking to are legion, like the sands of the desert and the stars of the sky.
It’s a big world out there. Much bigger, even, than Manhattan. And it’s ours for the taking.
