By Ethical
Marriage rates are crashing across all demographics. But we already know the reasons why men increasingly are opting out of marriage: the milk is free, and with feminist divorce and child support laws, buying the cow costs so much the cow could end up owning YOU.
Those feminist laws now govern marriage across much of the entire western world. Even for men with the best of intentions, getting married anywhere where such laws do exist is playing with a VERY hot fire. The growing MRA movement is spreading red pill knowledge of that. But the real question is that given the dangers, why young men still DO opt for marriage in sizeable numbers.
Here are the reasons I’ve gathered: why many young men still intend get married despite hearing about the risks:
1. If I don’t marry her she won’t stick around forever waiting. The risk and consequences of losing her are worse than the risks and consequences of divorce if it doesn’t work out.
2. Some marriages last forever. The risk and consequences of divorce are outweighed by the chance of winning at marriage.
3.If I act responsibly I won’t get divorced.
4. If somehow my wife divorces me even though I’m not at fault, the system will treat me fairly because I’m a good man. The risk and consequences of marriage are not that bad.
5. I ignore the horror stories from MRAs whining on and on about divorce. Fear is for cowards. If you’re not afraid and you don’t think about it, it won’t happen to you. Again the risks are not that high.
5. My family, friends, and society at large expect that any mature, responsible, heterosexual man will eventually settle down. The rewards of me being seen positively for doing so are high.
6. I want to have children and I want them to have a father who married their mother. The rewards of that are high for me.
7. I don’t know why people say divorce law is feminist and I don’t care. Ten years down the road when both I and any girl I marry are older and maybe even very different people, I trust I’ll have gotten to know her well enough before marriage to be certain she won’t ever become the kind of woman who’ll try to “take me for everything”. I can control the risks of marriage by choosing to marry a person who will never change that much.
8. Marriage means a serious commitment that takes a woman off the market long-term. The girl I’ll want to marry will be too special to take the risk of leaving her on the market.
9. Any girl I marry will be worth the risk of divorce. That risk isn’t high for people truly in love anyways.
10. I grew up with a father around. I want to give the same benefit to my kids. The rewards of that are high for me.
11. I grew up without a father around, I want to get married so my kids don’t grow up without one too. The rewards of that are high for me.
12. I come from a traditional background. Either my family, friends, or the community I grew up in wouldn’t encourage me to get the sex, children, and companionship I want without marriage. The rewards of being seen positively for respecting tradition are high for me.
13. I come from a traditional background. I wouldn’t want some or all of those things (sex, children, and female companionship) without marriage. I want my wife to be pure not someone who allows herself to be “test driven”. The rewards of following my own beliefs are high for me.
My take on all this? The red pill knowledge of divorce’s potential pitfalls spreads slowly because where there is reward young men have always ignored even the most deadly of risks.
Then there’s the oft studied “illusion of control”, the tendency for ambitious “goal striving”/risk taking young men in particular to overestimate their ability to control events they demonstrably have no influence over.
Finally, men are important in the raising of sons. Some of the young men I surveyed grew up in single parent homes. Many reported their mothers felt the men in their lives were solely responsible for failing to be knights in shining armor, and now their mothers were raising them with the expectations of becoming the white knights the mothers themselves felt entitled to since they were little girls.
The trend of single motherhood left those young men alone in the house to be groomed as prince charming under the mother’s Disneyland princess expectations. Of course mothers weaken young men by raising them with this white knight acceptance of giving everything to a woman without any expectation of her being responsible to him and giving back to him in return. Indoctrinating their sons to act contrary to their own interests is in a sense teaching their sons to be self-hating. Little wonder that sons of single mothers are even more likely to enter marriages that fail and leave them vulnerable to savagely anti-male divorce laws.
Weakened by single-mom self-hating white-knighthood, and without the antidote of having older men around who he respects to caution him to slow his roll, the lure of an attractive young woman is even more likely to sway a young man into a raw deal. Oddly enough this may be particularly true if he’s ambitious enough to fall prey to social expectations, and successful enough to afford indulging his “princess”.
So young men will risk much for the rewards of keeping a hot woman happy. When it comes to them, the MRA message of caution falls on deaf ears. However the GAME message of increasing one’s opportunity of success has an extremely strong uptake with them. GAME advocates like Frost empower young American men to avoid settling for the ass end of the deal.
Frost, The Paul Elam Debate, Part 3
Over the past half-century, men have been taught to cede control of all the power they have in their personal relationships with women. They have been trained to continue upholding their side of the social contract, while women have been told that any expectation for them to do the same is oppression, pure and simple. The Roissysphere is the solution to this imbalance. We are teaching men that it’s OK to be a cad, it’s OK to be selfish, and it’s OK to pursue your own wants and needs in the world.
Some MRAs disparage the PUA/GAME community. I see them as an integral ally. It takes a community to raise a boy. In that community MRAs are spreading the message of men’s issues and working within the establishment to change the laws. That message filters to guerilla generals like Frost, Roosh, and Roissy who operate far outside the established institution of marriage, directing the guys in the chaotic front lines of the mating game to make their own rules. It’s together that we offer the best hope of waking the next generation of boys as they become young men, not necessarily indoctrinating them to avoid marriage, but making sure they’re aware enough to make the choices best for THEM.
