Greg Hampikian, a biology and criminal justice teacher at Boise State, writes that men are totally useless biologically speaking, and now that women have more degrees, make more money, etc., we men might as well be a vestigial organ, just waiting to be chopped off when it becomes inflamed:
With expanding reproductive choices, we can expect to see more women choose to reproduce without men entirely. Fortunately, the data for children raised by only females is encouraging. As the Princeton sociologist Sara S. McLanahan has shown, poverty is what hurts children, not the number or gender of parents.
That’s good, since women are both necessary and sufficient for reproduction, and men are neither. From the production of the first cell (egg) to the development of the fetus and the birth and breast-feeding of the child, fathers can be absent. They can be at work, at home, in prison or at war, living or dead.
[...]
Then, at some point, your father spent a few minutes close by, but then left. A little while later, you encountered some very odd tiny cells that he had shed. They did not merge with you, or give you any cell membranes or nutrients — just an infinitesimally small packet of DNA, less than one-millionth of your mass.
Over the next nine months, you stole minerals from your mother’s bones and oxygen from her blood, and you received all your nutrition, energy and immune protection from her. By the time you were born your mother had contributed six to eight pounds of your weight. Then as a parting gift, she swathed you in billions of bacteria from her birth canal and groin that continue to protect your skin, digestive system and general health. In contrast, your father’s 3.3 picograms of DNA comes out to less than one pound of male contribution since the beginning of Homo sapiens 107 billion babies ago.
And while birth seems like a separation, for us mammals it’s just a new form of attachment to our female parent. If your mother breast-fed you, as our species has done for nearly our entire existence, then you suckled from her all your water, protein, sugar, fats and even immune protection. She sampled your diseases by holding you close and kissing you, just as your father might have done; but unlike your father, she responded to your infections by making antibodies that she passed to you in breast milk.
I don’t dismiss the years I put in as a doting father, or my year at home as a house husband with two young kids. And I credit my own father as the more influential parent in my life. Fathers are of great benefit. But that is a far cry from “necessary and sufficient” for reproduction.
If a woman wants to have a baby without a man, she just needs to secure sperm (fresh or frozen) from a donor (living or dead). The only technology the self-impregnating woman needs is a straw or turkey baster, and the basic technique hasn’t changed much since Talmudic scholars debated the religious implications of insemination without sex in the fifth century. If all the men on earth died tonight, the species could continue on frozen sperm. If the women disappear, it’s extinction.
I think Hampikian is writing this with his tongue planted firmly in his cheek. He does work for the Innocence Project, after all, and if he thought men were totally worthless he wouldn’t put in the effort.
Although it’s a bit crude, his article is clearly satire, and he may even be taking a jab at radical feminist ideology (e.g. Mary Daly’s Gyn/Ecology). Unfortunately, it’s too similar to the real thing to work correctly, and it falls flat. Sorry to say it, Greg, but it just isn’t that cute to talk about male disposability these days, and of all people you should know that.
Hopefully, in the future Hampikian will stay within his area of expertise, where he does good work. Better he stick to getting innocent men out of prison than hand people justifications for wrongfully putting them there in the first place.
