A study showing that fewer men are paying for sex came out recently, prompting some to wonder what’s going on and others to doubt the results. What I find interesting is that women do not seem all that happy about the results, but rather a bit put off or skeptical.
My gut tells me there’s some truth to the study. I remember the streetwalker culture from the 80s and 90s, when previous studies found that around 20% of men admitted to paying for sex, and it just isn’t the same as it used to be. Even strip clubs have declined considerably, and they would be a good place to start if you want to find out how prevalent prostitution is today.
Some suggest that the apparent decline in prostitution is a result of online porn, and others that it’s because fewer men are in the military. I’d guess the former is more accurate than the latter, but there’s more to it than that.
Due to the vast numbers of desperate single mothers out there and the very easy ability to hook up online, guys just don’t have to pay up front these days. In other words, dating sites have pulled the rug out from under the traditional prostitution business.
I see it as similar to the collapse of the music industry when file sharing became common. Why buy the CD when you can go online and, with a little effort, find it for free?
Think about the vast possibilities a guy has today compared to the early 90s. Back then, you had to actually leave the house to meet women. You had to spend money at a club or bar, dress well and make sure you smelled pleasant. It was all so much more effort. If you weren’t into that rigamarole, you’d hire a hooker. Today, you can fire up the computer in your sweatpants and a t-shirt and browse women online. If your standards aren’t too high (and most guys who visited hookers in the past didn’t have particularly high standards), there’s bound to be some lonely single mom desperate for attention waiting for some man – any man – to show interest in her.
If all you’re looking to do is get laid without expending too much effort, it’s a lot easier than it used to be. And that’s pretty much what guys used to pay hookers for.
I can understand why women don’t want to accept this. It’s kind of degrading to know that some guy looking for quick, no-strings-attached sex can get it for free. One can’t escape the feeling that it would be more considerate of him to hand her a few hours’ pay.
Actually, I don’t like it much myself. When I browsed some dating sites and looked at the profiles, seeing the vast numbers of unattached single mothers in my vicinity (I’d have called it my community, but the word “community” is fast becoming an anachronism), I felt a bit depressed by it all. It’s like peering behind the curtains and seeing a desultory scene of misery and incompetence. There they are, free for the taking, and nobody wants them for more than a quick lay. In comparison, prostitution at least has a certain dignity.
This brings up an interesting question: is it ethically more acceptable to pump and dump a hapless single mother or to pay a hooker for convenient sex? Despite having once been staunchly opposed to prostitution, I’m beginning to think it’s the latter, and wonder why we continue to criminalize prostitution when the social effects are so much milder than the epidemic of illegitimacy. It’s backward thinking that holds that free sex is somehow on a higher moral plane. Naturally speaking, there never has been anything free about sex; every species on earth pays a price for it in one manner or another. And I worry that we will indeed pay a heavy price for what’s going on, if not as individuals, as a society.
Perhaps the market will adjust, as the publishing and recording industries have recently begun to adjust to the new digital reality. Maybe, like newspapers, women will stop giving it up for free, and require cash or commitment up front once again. But given the numbers, that probably won’t happen anytime soon. There are just too many of these women out there — there’s too much competition.
It’s both ironic and sad to see how the destruction of traditional norms, promoted every step of the way by feminists, has so devalued women’s sexuality that they are reduced to unpaid whores.
