For most of human history, dating and reproduction came together.
You couldn’t have one without the other. If you wanted children, you needed a partner; if you wanted a stable family, you needed commitment.

That is no longer true.

For the first time in human history, reproduction does not require dating or relationships.
This technological and social revolution has created strategic options that most people never consider—yet some men and women will benefit from far more than others.

For most of human history, dating and reproduction came together, and you couldn’t have one, without the other.

This article breaks down those options and their implications for power, freedom, and long-term success.

1. Sperm Donation

For some men, including high-power, ambitious, and high-agency men, traditional relationships are a poor strategic fit.

These are often men who are:

• Highly independent and mission-driven
• Have avoidant tendencies or a strong player psychology
• Prioritize achievement and freedom over communion/relationships

Some of these men may also not want to spend too much time dating.
However, they may still have an evolutionary drive towards reproduction and genetic legacy.
Sperm donation offers a rarely discussed alternative.

It allows a man to:

• Fulfill the evolutionary drive to reproduce
• Avoid long-term relational entanglements
• Help others build families

When handled correctly, this can be a genuine win-win-win.

P.S.: The ‘Real’ Sperm Wars Happen In Labs

Evolutionary psychologists recently focused on ‘sperm competition’ (Buss, 2024; Workman and Reader, 2021; Baker, 1996; Gallup and Platek, 2022 in The Cambridge Handbook on Sexual Psychology; DeLecce, 2022 inThe Cambridge Handbook of Evolutionary Perspectives).

Traditional sperm-competition theory assumes men’s sperm compete inside a vagina only.
That model, while probably still most prevalent globally, is becoming increasingly obsolete.

Today, reproductive selection increasingly happens in sperm banks, not bedrooms.
Men who pass donor screening can produce dozens of genetic heirs, without sex or competing over sexual access over a woman.
That’s an order of magnitude larger than the man who wins the sexual sperm competition—or more.

2. Surrogate Mothers

In this model, a man commissions a woman to deliver a child only, never becoming a mother figure or a legal parent.

Contrary to sperm donors who often have little in children, surrogacy boosts fatherhood because the man is often the sole guardian and parent.

There are two common forms of surrogacy:

1. Traditional surrogate: the pregnant woman is also the genetic mother
2. Gestational surrogate (carrier): the pregnant woman gestates an embryo created from another woman’s egg

While this may sound extreme to some readers, it is becoming more common for high-status and high-resource individuals.
For example, footballer Cristian Ronald may have had two children with surrogacy.

3. Polygyny and Multiple Long-Term Partners

Polygyny means having several partners at once.

It’s not a new model as it’s been practiced over evolutionary time by many different societies. Some authors even consider it ‘the normal baseline’ when power dynamics and economic activities allow some men to gain higher status and more resources.

Polygyny has been suppressed or even forbidden across most Western societies, but as they’re becoming less religious, less marriage-based, and more libertine, polygyny has resurged.
Today, it may now be a valid option for some high-status men.

🙋‍♂️Lucio’s Take: Polygyny is not as masculine and high power as many believe

Lucio:
First off, highly agentic men seek more time for themselves and their craft, and they want less relationship drag, not more.
For these men, adding more relationships doesn’t make life better or easier, it makes it worse.

Second, from a dating success point of view, polygyny is not always the peak dating it’s sometimes portrayed to be.
Peak dating for men is endless optionality, which ambitious and high-value men can achieve in most large cities. Why would these top men decide to have relationships with anyone, even if it’s several of them?

Exceptions apply, of course, and for relationship-minded men who truly like several women and can manage to keep them without drama, this can be a good option.

4. Alternative Relationship Structures

Traditional monogamous relationships are only one type of relationship.
High-value and strategic men have plenty of options, and with the cultural shifts, they also become increasingly accepted and palatable to women.

Some options include:

• Co-parenting without romance, which can also be negotiated and even legally ratified as a transaction that best serves one’s interests
• Lifetime player, dating as an ‘eternal single’, mostly for short-term. The challenge is that short-term dating may become more challenging for aging men who prefer younger women (especially in the West)
• Rotations of women happy to meet for intimacy, but without commitment to any
• Consensual non-monogamy <—🙋🏼‍♂️ Lucio’s note: I don’t see it as a strong and appealing option for high-power men
  • One-sided non-monogamy, meeting and dating several women, some of whom are exclusive to you <— 🙋🏼‍♂️ Lucio’s note: This happens naturally to high-power and cool men, without you openly requiring it (much higher power, and my favorite option)
• Time-limited relationship, including time-limited for a specific goal. For example, raising children together and then reassessing or splitting
  • Serial monogamy, which some high-status men fall into without pre-planning

These structures are not inherently better than traditional monogamy, of course.
But they are valid options that may better serve a man’s needs, and optionality is freedom and power.

5. Deliberate Non-Dating/Reproduction

Men who have no need or interest in a genetic child also have less of a need for relationships.

Their sexual drives, if present, can be fulfilled with dating only, or with pay-per-play options. Not something we’d advise or endorse here for most, but it’s an option for some.

Some manosphere movements overlap with this approach, including:

• MGTOW, the most aligned to deliberate non-dating, and once a large movement paralleling the red pill in popularity
• Sigma male ideology, the man who walks his own path without social groups, and potentially without dating as well
• Monk mode, or focusing on improving one’s life, often linked to self-development goals like getting rid of bad habits, acquiring better habits, and mental health
• Grindset movements, focusing on business and resource accumulation

This approach can be combined with a lifestyle of choice.
Non-dating can make for a freeing, adventurous, or simple life and must not necessarily be replaced with self-development or hard work. While a man could decide for a life of hedonism, another could simply enjoy a stress-free life.

Non-Genetic Impact on Future Generations

It’s also worth reminding that ‘going one’s own way’ doesn’t necessarily mean having any less impact on younger men and women, or future generations.

Genetic legacy is only a tiny aspect of legacy.
Genetic legacy also decays faster than most other legacies, losing 50% of one’s own unique contribution with each new generation.
From an investment point of view, that would be a disastrous investment.

Men can positively impact future generations with their work, influencing policy, creating content, mentoring, or developing tools and businesses that help humanity as a whole.

Women’s Strategic Reproductive Options

While we mostly focus on men here,

Modern reproductive technology has given women a wide strategic landscape.

While this article focuses primarily on men, it is important to understand parallel female options—because they directly shape dating markets.

Sperm Purchase

Sperm donation or purchase also allows women to entirely bypass dating, with some important advantages:

• Avoid the risk of a poor partner who may turn controlling
• Avoid STD risks, with pre-screened and tested donors
• Increase optionality and selection ROI: scrolling through an online catalog of data and pictures is immensely faster and more effective than dating. The perfect donor could be found with a few hours, without even dressing up and going out
• Select high-quality donors, who all come pre-screened as healthy and with high sperm parameters

With assisted reproduction, women can also run deeper health screening and checkups on embryos, increasing the odds of a healthy child. And that is a win for all, including for society.

Women beware: private donors may not pass sperm bank screening
Many men offer ‘help’ in various private groups. Be careful selecting random men. While plenty of private donors are good men, it’s prudent to wonder about donors’ motives and character. Some claim they prefer private donations over ‘cold and expensive’ sperm banks. The truth is that sperm banks have stringent requirements that many wouldn’t pass.

Egg Freezing + Surrogacy

Egg freezing allows women to prioritize career and development when young, and reduce the ‘biological clock’ pressures.

Combining egg freezing plus surrogacy further extends the benefits, no need for ‘time off’ during pregnancy, and no more biological clock.
Egg freezing and surrogacy completely bypass the biological clock, allowing women to have children later than men can: women live longer, and frozen eggs outlast men’s sperm decline.

Women today can finally have their cake and eat it too.

Ethical, Social, & Mindset Considerations

All these options involve major consequences for a man’s life.

In all the dating and reproductive strategies, there are also others’ lives involved, including future children that don’t have a voice to ensure their welfare is protected. And there is society that doesn’t always have a voice as the politics and policy take time to catch-up (if they ever do).

This means that it’s the honorable man’s task to ensure everyone gains (or, at least, nobody pays for his choices).

Let’s review some common issues and questions:

The Fatherhood Question: Be Precise, Not Ideological

Research shows that boys without active father involvement face higher risks for behavioral issues.
These behavior issues include externalizing behavior, such as anti-sociality, with everyone paying a price.

However, most negative outcomes cluster around associated factors such as:

• Poverty
• Family instability
• Neighborhood effects

There remains a residual effect of father absence—but it is smaller than commonly portrayed.
Also, some jurisdictions allow to choose the child’s sex, and having daughters may further mitigate the risks of single parenting. Finally, a father figure may also replace the biological father.

This is not to say there are zero consequences, but precision matters when shaping policy.

Child Welfare With Surrogacy For Men

Men shouldn’t choose surrogacy to ‘save time on relationships’ if they don’t have the time to be good fathers either.

If there is no mother present, the father should spend more time with the child, not less. He must provide emotional presence, not just play time and resources.

Just as for women, men can also consider a female mother figure who is not the biological mother. This may also be long-time nurses for wealthy men, although it’s an open question of how well it can replace a mother.

Is Replacing Old Relationships Good?

There is always some resistance to innovations.
Plus, some people resist what they perceive to be risks to their current dating strategy, rather than what’s good or bad in general.
And some others reject what they can’t have for themselves.

In truth, labeling complex reproductive and social changes as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ is reductive and simplistic, and there are both pros and cons.
But I see more room for optimism, with increasing opportunities and benefits.

First off, dating and relationships were never meant to be the temple of love some portray them to be.
The ideal of the loving mother and father raising children is just that: an ideal that only reflects a tiny percentage of households.

Instead, by evolutionary logic, men and women didn’t evolve to be nice to each other. Evolutionary logic suggests instead that it’s more likely that men and women evolved to better control each other (see ‘female relationship control’). That’s not the premise for a ‘loving relationship’.
And when things go south, broken homes don’t make for better environments to raise children than single parents, and often make for worse environments.

With these new options, people choose to be parents. They have proven love to give, and likely best choose the timing when they can best provide and protect.

The Honor Rule: Make It Win-Win, & Everything Works

Here’s a simple rule of thumb we like:

⚖️ As long as you make it win-win, it’s good

For example, for polygyny, don’t be the sneaky guy who hides a second family and relationship. Be the honorable high power man who assertively sets it as a condition, and women freely decide to go with it.

You can make almost anything work honorably and well for all.
So there is no excuse to be a sneaky liar who makes the world worse off, rather than better off.

A Better Frame: Wanting Instead of Needing

Quality relationships are based on choice—rather than need.

You hear these often in the manosphere or equivalent female dating strategies:

• You don’t need a man
• A woman adds little value to a man’s life

While these may be true, they often reveal more about the speaker’s attitude, than their alleged unnediness.
It’s sometimes an attitude of resentment. And it often betrays a defector strategy to relationships. Not the type of people you wanted in the first place for a relationship.

Instead, the healthy way of looking at it is that a lack of need frees people to pursue what they want. And what genuinely improves their life. Desire replaces needs.
People entering relationships out of choice are often better partners and better parents.

The Future of High-Power Men: Freedom, Power, & Happiness

These options are all great news for smart men who think strategically.

It empowers them to get more of what they want, for less.
It’s a new era of even more freedom and empowerment, now extending even more deeply into to the dating and reproduction arena.

These are exactly the outcomes we provide at The Power Moves.

For the complete system—dating, power dynamics, agency, and life strategy—we share our best material inside Power University.