It’s Friday, it’s a hot and humid summer day, and East Europe is still producing the world’s hottest women, so I’m keeping today’s post light and fluffy.
A “friendly messenger” forwarded me the following ass pics of an anonymous female reader she knows who was so inspired by the positive response to my ”Perfect Ass” post that anon girl wanted to bless the Roissy world with her own magnificent twin supple globes for ruthless judgement consideration.
superb haunches
The American Posterior Association will need you to walk her around the ring a couple times to complete the judging.
it's alive!
Excellent lower back grooves and tailbone ascension. A 95th percentile 0.8 jut from baseline with minimal artificial lower back arching in the 2nd pic, and near perfect globular symmetry. A reflective skin tone radiance of 85%. Almost 1:1 juicy:firm ratio. Total absence of any noticeable cellulite (though, granted, possible post-production photo manipulation and favorable lighting may be concealing the telltale dimples.) And in the critical “Ass Bottom Meets Back of Legs Smoothness” category I’d say she hits a very natural, earthy note with just a hint of humanizing horizontal line. Score: 90% smooth. Given her impressive 0.8 jut (and the fact that she’s a white girl pulling this off) her score in this category is truly inspiring. For comparison’s sake, a 0.8 jut coupled with no horizontal line is almost unheard of in the known universe, though there is rumored to be a palace concubine to the Boy Prince in one of Mongolia’s outer provinces who bears the Ass of the Apocalypse in the perfect smoothness that runs from the top of her ass to her feet. She is said to never get up from a seated position, fearing the act of standing would introduce a crease into the bottom of her blessed booty.
Overall Ass Score for Anonymous Female Fan: Fiiiiine! (but not yet a Doggy Style Jedi)
Anonymous Female Reader Who Masturbates To My Sexy Words wanted her submissions to inspire my female readers to come out of the rear closet in a massive show of sexy confidence and deference to my expertise in judging these matters. (And I need fresh tug material. I’ve tapped out the internet.)
So I hereby announce the Summer 2008 Ass Challenge. All female readers are encouraged to send me their best backside poses (tasteful or not, but tasteful will have a better shot at SFW front page exhibition) at my email address:
Give yourself a handle if you wish to remain anonymous so I can make distinctions between the asses.
In a future post I will put up the ass pics for readership analysis and enjoyment, with the final judging done by me. There will be a winner as deemed by yours truly for Best Ass In Show, but really, ladies, we’re all winners here, right? (Except you, DIzzy.)
I encourage those women who don’t have a competitive streak to get in touch with their inner sexiness and not be afraid to send in ass photos. The Summer 2008 Ass Challenge contest is largely ceremonial. Mostly it is about being out, proud, and round, and you will never feel sexier and more confident than when you are exploring how to show the best of your bottoms to the world and arouse thousands of internet nerds.
Winner will receive a cock pic of me. Hope you have room on the wall to hang it.
***
PS: Ladies, DEADLIFTS AND SQUATS. Drop the stupid froo froo cardio hip slimmer dancedork classes. They are a waste of time.
PPS: Don’t worry you won’t get too big, you don’t have enough natural testosterone for that to happen. Only chicks who take roids or drink raw eggs every day and workout 50 hours a week get manly muscles.
