I’ve given my opinion on what marriage components are from the Bible, but I’ve also been thinking about this as bit more with Jack’s series trying to think of an improved framework.

Then it all came to me based on what we learned from the previous series on moral agencies of wives.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

To summarize the above, husbands are tasked by God to improve the moral agency of their wives during marriage especially because they are more easily deceived.

Thus, the parallel before marriage starts is that some amount of moral agency is needed from both the husband and wife in order to create a marriage along with sex.

The example that always bothered me was that virtually everyone — Christian and non-Christian alike — would say that two teenagers who promise to be married because they want to have sex with each other and then have sex are not considered married. It’s an empty promise spurred on by hormones and temptations.

What then does some of the Scriptures say about moral agency and marriage?

  1. In the Scriptures there are some limited times such as in Exodus 22 where a father can veto a marriage. This is basically saying that the daughter/woman does not have enough moral agency to assent to the marriage herself.
  2. Similarly, in Numbers 30 husbands can nullify vows from their wives which also says that wives may be too rash and not have good enough moral agency to fully understand what she is doing.
  3. Also, God tasks husbands in the NT to sanctify their wives so they can mature to have full moral agency.

What we have here is a pattern where moral agency is a primary aspect of establishing a marriage along with sex, and God still requiring that mature moral agency be the full end goal as well.

Given this pattern, it stands to reason then that the various other factors that often go along with marriage in the Bible also tend to approximate establishing enough moral agency for the marriage to be legitimate.

  • Sacrament through the Church with Catholics and Orthodox, and likewise with Protestants but not as formally. Moral agency to formally assent to what God says marriage is.
  • Parental agreement is one of the ways moral agency of those being married may be affirmed such as with the Patriarchs getting a bride for their children or arranged marriages. The children getting married usually affirm this through participation in a wedding ceremony/vows and sex.
  • Ceremony and vows are another common way this is affirmed. Again, moral agency to assent to the the marriage.
  • State-based marriage also approximates this as well. Moral agency to agree to be married in the eyes of the state.
  • Sex = marriage is possibly, in the context of the assent of unhindered moral agency to become one.
  • Lack of moral agency of the infatuated teenagers means that their supposed marriage is not a marriage.

Essentially, the various components of marriage aside from sex across the Bible and various cultures are there to help approximate moral agency of those married to become one which creates the unity of a family.

Why moral agency and sex?

Moral agency is also the way we as Christians become believers. We admit we’re sinners, confess our sins, and believe that Jesus rose from the dead and follow His example. This is the mystery of Christ and the Church, and through our moral agency we agree with Jesus and become His followers to participate in the oneness of the Christ-Church. This is the analogy for the marriage of husbands and wives – Christ:Church::husbands:wives.

Conversely, it was a sinful moral agency at the fall that separated Adam and Eve from the fellowship/oneness with God in the garden. It is a sinful moral agency that where the Pharisees were divorcing their wives.

It also appears to me that moral agency led Jesus to say the phrase: “What God has put together let no man separate.” Spiritual unity through moral agency along with the physical manifestation of unity in sex results in a marriage, just as with the Covenants in the OT and NT they are assented by the parties and sealed in blood.

Thus, moral agency and sex define a marriage.

Marriage simply looks messy in the Bible because moral agency can be expressed through many different forms.