Scott makes an common sentiment that I frequently see on Very few women can be moulded.
It’s so weird how at the beginning of a relationship she will practically turn herself inside out to become whatever it is you say you like.
And at the end, if you ask her to bring you something from another room she’ll roll her eyes at you like you are the laziest ungrateful POS in the world asking her for such an off-putting request.
It’s the “breaking rules” for you when she perceives you as “alpha” and then as you transform right in front of her (in her eyes) into a “beta” with “boyfriend behaviors” she starts piling the rules back on — thing.
I wrote about it a few posts back.
The “molding” is way easier at first. Then they resent it because they think all your cocky “alpha-ness” when you first met was a ruse and they were fooled by an imposter.
When what really happened was you assumed she loved you “on the inside” and you could just relax and be yourself.
It’s why having to constantly keep your “game” up just to have her behave like she always did sounds exhausting (and not worth it) to most men.
Unless you figure out a way for your relationship to smoothly transition through this phase, serial monogamy is again the most rational answer for guys who can pull it off.
A few things to note:
- This is why any dating and engagement should generally last past a honeymoon phase so you start to see each other’s flaws and people can’t continually hold up a facade about who they truly are.
Holding out past this and especially some harder or difficult times really reveals the character of both yourself and a potential wife. If you can’t engage well when things get rough, it’s going to be amplified to the extreme in marriage.
- The “love on on the inside” and “relax and be yourself” is like makeup for women. It’s best to not do too much of that at all if any ever. Like with makeup and ‘game’ in this case, both men and women can be fooled respectively and then will lose that attraction and/or respect when they find out it’s a different bill of goods.
Charismatic leaders may be that way because they tend to have some personality traits that lends toward that, but effective and engaging public speaking can be learned and developed. In the same way, developing effective behaviors and traits and turning them into habits is one of the keys to aspiring toward excellence as a man and not putting up a veneer or facade of pretending to be someone you are not while dating.
Developing PSALM and masculinity shouldn’t be about just displaying it for women like game as defined by Roosh. This is why I keep harping on things related to discipling and being discipled as a lot of the keys to developing the habits of leadership (that lead to PSALM + masculinity).
- If you are confident enough to share your faith with others it’s not that hard to ask a woman out. One is honestly much scarier than the other, since you’re actually more likely to get rejected and more harshly for sharing your faith than asking women out (nuclear rejections not withstanding but they are rarer).
- If you’re being discipled and discipling others (or mentors not even just in the faith) you are getting good experience from both the leader-follower perspective that goes into sustaining a headship-submission relation.
- If you’re continually growing in the faith and fruit of the Spirit you have better tools to deal with adversity.
I can go on and on but a lot of maturity in the faith and doing things the way Jesus said to do it — make disciples of all nations teaching what He commanded to us — really does give a good framework, skills, and practice for men and husbands to use in marriage.
When I was growing up there didn’t seem to be much of this in the Churches I attended, but once I truly began to serve God and get involved in the discipleship process it did help develop skills and traits that I needed to be successful with in marriage. Obviously, you can develop them without mentorship and discipleship but it is harder to do alone.
Developing these habits and skills makes it so you don’t have to pretend or try to “game” or do anything like that. It’s not exhausting either. There’s no need to play games or anything like that. Simply use what you already should be using for being more mature in your faith and apply it to your relationships or marriage.
