One consistent thing I keep seeing at Sigma’s and in the comments here is that women have power over men. Let me be clear.
Women have zero power over men.
My wife has zero power over me. She can divorce me, but that is no power over me because I don’t fear it. It will never stop me from obeying God.
I’ve detailed before in several posts such as Attitudes and marriage and Fear of marriage: the self fulfilling prophecy.
A husband that is afraid that he may have everything taken away from him will not act rationally in his best interests in terms of the Biblical roles and responsibilities. What I mean by this is if a husband is in fear that his wife will divorce him, he will not be able to love her through sanctification. He will not be able to call her out and correct her when she is off course. He won’t be able to lead the marriage effectively due to being afraid of the potential consequences of her unhappiness. He won’t be able to stand firm during her moodiness and eventually capitulate. He’ll have a difficult time pushing back against a culture and and the churchians who suggest that “love” is “making his wife happy.”
This is not to say that those going into it with good attitudes will have godly and successful marriages. That certainly is not the case in every circumstance. Everyone has free will and even many people who were following or disciples of Jesus rejected him when the going got rough (e.g. John 6). However, it is true that it is likely that a bad attitude with corresponding responses will eventually lead to marital ruin.
In this context, we can say that a husband who does not fear his wife but only fears God stands a much better chance at having not only a godly marriage but a successful marriage as well.
You can see this same theme in the disciples in Acts 16.
Acts 16:16 Once when we were going to the place of prayer, we were met by a female slave who had a spirit by which she predicted the future. She earned a great deal of money for her owners by fortune-telling. 17 She followed Paul and the rest of us, shouting, “These men are servants of the Most High God, who are telling you the way to be saved.” 18 She kept this up for many days. Finally Paul became so annoyed that he turned around and said to the spirit, “In the name of Jesus Christ I command you to come out of her!” At that moment the spirit left her.
19 When her owners realized that their hope of making money was gone, they seized Paul and Silas and dragged them into the marketplace to face the authorities. 20 They brought them before the magistrates and said, “These men are Jews, and are throwing our city into an uproar 21 by advocating customs unlawful for us Romans to accept or practice.”
22 The crowd joined in the attack against Paul and Silas, and the magistrates ordered them to be stripped and beaten with rods. 23 After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully. 24 When he received these orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks.
25 About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. 26 Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose. 27 The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. 28 But Paul shouted, “Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!”
29 The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. 30 He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”
31 They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.” 32 Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in his house. 33 At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his household were baptized. 34 The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and his whole household.
The disciples were repeatedly warned through Acts not to preach the gospel nor do miracles in the name of Jesus. They did so anyway. They didn’t fear any woman or man or authority but only God. This led them to continue preaching the gospel and doing miracles. This led to them being thrown in jail.
Yet the fear of jail did nothing to deter them nor did getting actually put in jailed deter them. They even sang songs and hymns in prison that led to them getting witness opportunities.
Whether my wife divorces me or not has no bearing on me as long as I am faithful to God. My money is God’s. My kids are God’s. She wants to take it? She will have to answer to God. He can take care of it all. I don’t have to fear nor compromise on God’s truth.
This is not to say that I won’t take steps to be wise about my marriage. I lead my wife by teaching and correcting her when she goes off course.
However, this serves to illustrate the paradox of the current sexual marketplace. One of the factors that influences the failure or success of them is the fear of women. Generally, men who fear women will inevitably fail. Men who don’t fear women have one of the keys to succeed. This is true whether it’s dating, relationships, or marriage. This is one of the principles where colloquially the phrase “the rich get richer and the poor get poorer” rings true.
The reason why I am the head of my marriage is because God said I am. I don’t fear what my wife could do if she wanted to follow the world. And that is precisely what allows me to lead and influence her effectively and why she wants to follow my lead.
