Dalrock reviews the fact that many pastors and Churches have been deceived into believing that women’s low self esteem is a sin. This is true. Cited are the numerous “letters to daughters” that keep coming out, especially from fathers to their daughters.
The concern of self image actually originates from Adam and Eve and sin. As sin entered the world, the concern of self image is raised upon a pedestal where it affects judgment and actions of those involved to an idolatrous nature.
Genesis 3:6 When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves [b]loin coverings.
The problem, mainly, with Churchianity is that it identifies symptoms of the problem and instead of revealing the nature of the deception it instead doubles down on more sin. Let’s take a look at the curious case of female self esteem which is supposedly a large problem in the church today.
A problem is identified: women have low self esteem. Naturally, it seems intuitive to the vast majority of Christians that low self esteem is due to a lack of praise. Thus, the prevalence of “letters to daughters” or affirmation of women for their beauty and God-created identity is used to literally wipe up the blood from a wound.
Fortunately, science has shown that praise, especially to children, makes them more likely to be narcissistic. Likewise, emphasis on talent, intelligence, beauty, or “fixed” traits leads to kids becoming less successful adults than a focus on growth and change.
Now, note the context of my previous worded statement. Affirmation it typically used to wipe up the blood from the wound which does not actually fix the problem. In fact, it ignores the actual problem which is the wound itself while focusing attention on the blood. The blood is simply a symptom, but when it is made the focus it ignores the actual problem of the wound which is much deeper. Indeed, in reality a wound actually needs to be treated and cleaned, and it will hurt when that happens. Then it needs to be bandaged and properly take care of in order to be healed.
This leads us back to the case of female self esteem. Low self esteem that is compounded with sympathy of feelings, and affirmation of beauty or worth only doubles down on the sin. It may seem like it helps temporarily, but in the long run it encourages narcissistic behavior. Affirmation of beauty and self worth is chick crack. Anyone can see this by taking a gander over to facebook or instagram and see all of the photos that women post up in order to feel better about themselves.
If you read my posts regularly, you know that sin must be removed but it must also be replaced with good things. Otherwise, removing bad things only will only result in even worse habits eventually. This is rooted in the the Scriptures.
Matthew 12:43 “Now when the unclean spirit goes out of a man, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, and does not find it. 44 Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came’; and when it comes, it finds it unoccupied, swept, and put in order. 45 Then it goes and takes along with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first. That is the way it will also be with this evil generation.”
Indeed, the first thing to be addressed with low self esteem in women (and men for that matter) is that it’s a sin. Your self image is negatively affecting your ability to grow in Christ. It must be addressed and rooted out. Repent to God of believing in lies. Seek solace in Jesus, the one who saves.
Matthew 11:28 “Come to Me, all [z]who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is [aa]easy and My burden is light.”
Then confront it with the Truth. Character and the fruits of the Spirit is what God highly prizes. A focus on self worth or self esteem is to be focused on the wrong things in the first place. It is making an idol out of yourself — whether good or bad — and setting it up before God as something to be prized when it is simply a deception.
There may be affirmation involved such as standing on the Truth that God created us for a purpose, and that He created us in our mothers wombs. However, this is to be distinguished from the “letters to daughters” and mindless affirmation in the fact that:
- Admitting first that low self esteem is a sin. When it becomes a problem it is placing the self worth (whether high or low) on a pedestal instead of God.
- Taking it to Jesus and repenting of that sin. “Jesus, I’m guilty of valuing my self image to the point where it is interfering with how I am living my life and my walk with you. Please forgive me.”
- Turning away from the sin, and going in the opposite direction to highly value that which God prizes which is character, godliness, and fruits of the Spirit. “Jesus, instead help me to focus on things which you highly value such as good character, godliness, the fruits of the Spirit and help me to manifest these into good works.”
Only then is affirming worth in Christ valuable because the right steps are taken first.
Without first removing and repenting of the deception of the importance of self esteem leads to covering up the Lie with Truth. Covering a Lie with Truth does not simply make it go away, but it leads to deep festering rot which manifests in narcissism and systemic character issues and achievement failure in life. Lies must be excised with admittance and repentance, and then only can replacement of the Truth set you free.
Conclusion
- Low self esteem primarily affects women.
- Churchian thinking doubles down on this lie by affirming and catering to feelings to make it feel better. Although this may be done with the Scriptures, the root of the problem is not excised. This is highly unsuccessful in the long run and only cultivates narcissism.
- The lie of the importance of self esteem must be excised. As can be seem from Genesis 3, the importance of self image also originates from Adam and Eve’s sin.
Excising the lie requires:
- Admitting first that low self esteem is a sin. When it becomes a problem it is placing the self worth (whether high or low) on a pedestal instead of God.
- Taking it to Jesus and repenting of that sin. “Jesus, I’m guilty of valuing my self image to the point where it is interfering with how I am living my life and my walk with you. Please forgive me.”
- Turning away from the sin, and going in the opposite direction to highly value that which God prizes which is character, godliness, and fruits of the Spirit. “Jesus, instead help me to focus on things which you highly value such as good character, godliness, the fruits of the Spirit and help me to manifest these into good works.”
- Then replacing the lie with the Truth of our value in Christ. That God so loved us that He sent His Son to die for us. That before the foundations of the world God knew us. That He knew us in our mothers womb.
Failure to excise the lie will lead to an attempt to bandage over the lie with truth without cleaning out the lie first. This is the problem with affirmations to make people feel better. It will only allow the lie to rot and fester more deeply until it manifests into narcissism and other destructive behavior.
