Where is the boundary of faith and reality?

Readership: All, especially Christians
Theme: Community / Metacognitions / Awareness and Introspection
Length: 2,250 words
Reading Time: 12 minutes

Intro

For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.

Romans 7:18b (ESV)

Now, we can only see reality as if looking at an obscure reflection in a dark mirror.

Paraphrase of 1 Corinthians 13:12a
img-1783678072-6a50c4788186c0.56966542.jpgDetail of the Portrait of Giovanni Arnolfini and his Wife, by Jan van Eyck (1434).

The Limitations of the Body

I’m 53, and while I’ve had many blessings, some even miraculous IMO, I’ve also had many setbacks in life.  I feel worn out, my libido is gradually dropping (thank God!), and I’m losing motivation.  RPA encouraged me to stay active by doing resistance training.  Since then, I’ve made a more diligent effort to exercise 2-3 times a week. I’ll usually go to the gym 1 day a week, concentrating on low weights and high reps, and the other day I’ll do some cardio, like cycling, or jogging in the park, alternating between a brisk walk and running.  I’ll do this anywhere between half an hour to an hour and a half, or however long I can keep up.

img-1783678074-6a50c47a55efb0.75339936.jpgAn egret.

On Saturday morning (2025/9/6), my wife and I got up at 5:00 a.m. and from 6:00 to 7:30, we went out for an early morning ‘power walk’ (what we call alternating between walking fast and running) in our city’s Central Park and the surrounding neighborhood.  While we were out, we saw egrets and night herons, and we fed some wild dogs with some kibbles we had brought.  We also bought some food from a local breakfast shop and picked up a package that had come in the mail. After we got back home, we took a shower and ate breakfast before she left for work at 9:10.  We both felt exhilarated and deeply satisfied from our morning excursion.

But by 10:30, my wife messaged me saying that our early morning adventures had worn her out and that she was tired and sleepy. She nodded off during an afternoon meeting, and it was a real challenge for her to stay alert throughout the day.  I was tired too, but since it was a Saturday, I was able to catch a nap and relax for most of the day before I went to Bible study in the evening.

We learned something about ourselves from our exercise this morning. We are getting to the age (I’m 53 and my wife is 46) where exercise consumes a good deal of our energy, so we need to plan our day accordingly.  We can’t realistically expect ourselves to do strenuous exercise for an hour and then go to work for a full day and not feel exhausted. OTOH, we had the idea that if we make a habit of getting up early and exercising more frequently (she wanted to do it every day), then maybe we will get used to it.  Or maybe exercising in the evening, AFTER our other responsibilities for the day are finished, would work better (but then we couldn’t enjoy exercising during the early morning hours).  I decided that we should exercise on those days when we don’t have a full day packed with other activities and responsibilities on our schedule, so as to be sure we can devote our full energy to our livelihoods.  I’ll continue to experiment with this and see what works best for us.

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The Limitations of the Will

In a recent post, The Age Old Question of Authority (2025/9/3), I mentioned that I had stumbled in my faith during college, and then spent a few years searching for how to recover my faith.  In brief, it all began when I decided to get up earlier and read the Bible and pray every morning.  But after a few weeks, I was totally burned out and could not make myself read the Bible at all for a year after that.  Worse, I was overcome with various doubts and fears and questions about the purpose of my life, and my life spiraled out of control for a while.  Since then, I’ve always been confused about why my decision to read the Bible every morning led to me losing faith in this way.

Derek L. Ramsey picked out my testimony of this experience (given in the links above), and criticized me, basically arguing that I had apostatized because I had supposedly forsaken the “sufficiency” of Sola Scriptura.  SMH.

  1. Derek L. Ramsey: Hellenization, Part 1 (2025/9/4)
  2. Derek L. Ramsey: Hellenization, Part 2 (2025/9/5)

Upon reflection, I’ve concluded that spiritual disciplines are similar to physical disciplines, like exercising every morning, as I described above.  If I got up early and went gung ho at the gym and the park for hours every day, I’d certainly have a healthier lifestyle and improve my physical health, but I’d also wear myself out in a short time, and I would pay for it in other ways (i.e. opportunity cost).  I wouldn’t last very long, and my life would become unbalanced.

Working out 2-3 times a week seems about right for me, which is exactly what I’ve observed with my Bible reading habits, and publishing blog posts too — 2-3 times a week, and more on occasion.

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The Limitations of the Conscious Mind

Red Pill Apostle wrote,

“I have a feeling that amongst those that read Σ Frame regularly, not many work in commission based sales. Much of the training that salesmen are subjected to involves taking control of one’s inner dialog and molding it to suit the salesman’s goal. The training is specific to helping salesmen get their inner game together on the professional front.

Making the unconscious conscious is recognizing underlying fears and beliefs that drive the behavior that so heavily influences results. There is a cycle that is a reinforcing loop.

Beliefs & Thoughts → Feelings → Actions → Results → Beliefs & Thoughts

I have found that changing any of the Beliefs & Thoughts, Feelings, or Actions in the cycle alters the rest of it, but that the most effective approach is to alter how we think and what we believe.

Psalm 1 opens with a blessed man and how he meditates on God’s word (absolute truth). The passage then compares that man with those who do not meditate on God’s word. It is my belief that meditating on truth (reading the Bible and praying) ultimately leads to the behaviors that create blessings.

Inner Game starts with God’s word, not to be mistaken with whatever nonsense about men and women is preached from the pulpit, and having a correctly focused inner game is going to make a man’s life improve. It is not a magic bullet for relationships, but it will likely cause blessings, in one form or another, in a man’s life.”

The feedback cycle that RPA describes is called the Cognitive-Emotional-Behavioral (CEB) Cycle.  Snipping negative thinking in the initial notion and replacing it with Biblical truths is an important part of “renewing the mind” as described in Romans 12:2.  RPA and I have referenced this process in several past posts, most recently in Fate vs Self-Awareness (2025/8/27).

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Following the exercise described in Fate vs Self-Awareness (2025/8/27), combined with the CEB feedback loop described by RPA, I realized that my motivation for reading the Bible every morning was because I had already begun to doubt the “sufficiency” of reading the Bible 2-3 times a week, largely because of the scathing criticism of my housemate for not reading the Bible more.  Thus, reading the Bible every day early in the morning became an action that reinforced this doubt, eventually culminating in the destabilization of various beliefs, as described in more detail below.

So that’s what had happened to me.

There’s more.

Limitations of Perspective

Continuing my story…

In the evening (2025/9/6), I attended my Bible study group.  This study provided some further insights as to why I had stumbled in college, as I mentioned above.

The Bible study leader introduced Psalm 1 and Psalm 73, which conveyed different accounts of the value of righteousness.  I was amused because RPA had cited Psalm 1 in his comment (above) just 10 days earlier.

In summary, Psalm 1 conveys the blessedness that comes from meditating on God’s law and living accordingly.  The righteous enjoy prosperity, stability, and divine favor, while the wicked are doomed to condemnation and ultimate ruin.

In contrast, Psalm 73 paints a very different picture of righteousness.  Here, the wicked are described as fat, rich, and prosperous, and even though they are arrogant, malicious, and oppressive, they are found faultless. The author concludes that pursuing righteousness is a burdensome, wearisome, and worthless endeavor.  Later in this Psalm, however, the author realizes that despite outward appearances, the wicked live in terror of being destroyed at any moment, and assuredly they eventually are.  It is also revealed that the author’s own bitterness had caused him to envy the wicked, and this had made him ignorant of this reality.  Nevertheless, the Lord had stood behind him, strengthened and supported him throughout this ordeal.  Interestingly, the psalmist only realizes this after he goes into the sanctuary of God.

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As for me, I wasn’t bitter, but I was disappointed that my Bible study habits had become a source of vexation (c.f. Psalm 73) instead of a blessing, as Psalm 1 describes. I had also grown fearful of my housemate’s constant criticism to the extent that I would occasionally lie to him in order to deflect his condemnation.  I also had a few other issues that all together proved too much for me to pull out of.

Limitations of Habit vs Inspiration

During the Bible study discussion, the topic seemed fitting, so I described what had happened to me in college, how I had lost faith after reading the Bible and praying every morning for a while, and I couldn’t understand why.  While we were discussing this, one man said that he reads the Bible differently than I do.  He said when he reads the Bible, he doesn’t do it to hear from God or to receive inspiration (as I do/did); he just does it out of habit, as if he were reading a history book. Then later on, during relevant moments in his life, God brings certain passages to his memory, which guide his self-assessments and decision-making.

After hearing about his experience in reading the Bible, I realized that I have a more vivid experience when reading the Bible than most other people do.  When I was in college, I had been in this same habit of reading the Bible for spiritual inspiration, and so by changing my approach to reading the Bible out of habit (as he does and my old housemate did), I effectively lost the inspiration that I was accustomed to receiving from God.

Moreover, doing things out of habit culls the level of inspiration one can obtain from the activity, whereas doing things out of inspiration and joy requires habits to be flexible and somewhat variable. Finding a balance is one of the main challenges of internalizing a specific skill and developing expert virtuosity. Too much habit leads to burnout. Relying too much on inspiration can result in a lack of direction and purpose. IMO, you need to combine both approaches to master it.

Limitations of the Imagination

In response to my sad testimony, another person at the Bible study mentioned that we tend to ‘imagine’ what faith is, or what our obedience to God looks like, and that what we imagine may not be true or accurate about God, or faith, or how we are to be obedient.

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Upon hearing the word ‘imagine’, I recalled 2 Corinthians 10:3-6, which says,

3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:
4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds;)
5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
6 And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.

2 Corinthians 10:3-6 (KJV)

Other translations interpret the word for ‘imaginations’ in verse 5 as…

  • “proud idea” (ERV)
  • “intellectual arrogance” (GW)
  • “sophisticated arguments” (AMP)
  • “arguments” (NASB; NIV; NIVUK; NKJV; RSV)
  • “arguments and theories and reasonings” (AMPC)
img-1783678082-6a50c482b849e0.09190687.jpgA Malayan Night Heron.

My housemate’s argument that reading the Bible every day was a superior discipline than my own habit of reading 2-3 times a week was a concept of obedience that may have been correct for him, but NOT for me.  When I believed him, I falsely imagined that his discipline was superior to my own, and that I should strive to be obedient in this same manner.  I think I also had some false guilt, and I suspected that I was missing out on something more by not doing so.  But in doing so, I was stepping away from the discipline I had held since childhood, and apparently, my alter-obedience was no longer altar-obedience, and was therefore unacceptable to God (?!?).  Also, he was certainly a very arrogant and argumentative individual, which also fits this explanation.

Concluding Statements

I’m NOT presenting all these limitations as some sort of excuse for losing faith, or not doing better, or whatever.  No.  That debacle happened 34 years ago, and I’ve since forgiven my housemate (and myself) and moved past this.  I’m simply conveying what I’ve learned from this bad experience.  In fact, for most of my life, I was confused about why this had happened to me, and I’ve only now gained the above insights.  I believe that, for some reason, God wanted me to struggle through all this without much cognitive understanding of what I was experiencing, probably to build character, patience, and perseverance in me, leading to a deeper, stronger faith.  I believe all of the above revelations came by divine appointment, in response to Derek L. Ramsey’s criticisms earlier this week, and also my prayers about this.  I’m passing this on (1) as a response to Derek’s critique, (2) as an edification to others who may be struggling to maintain disciplined habits in Bible reading and prayer, and (3) as a testimony of the power of God.

Related

Feeriker wrote a great comment describing the sufferings inherent in being determined in the face of repetitive defeats and setbacks, and how even the most diligent man’s faithfulness has limits (James 4:13-15).  It’s worth reading if you haven’t already.