Misapplied Models

Purpose disintegrates in the absence of vision, and vice versa.

Readership: All
Theme: Problems with The Red Pill
Author’s Note: This post has some input from Red Pill Apostle.
Reader’s Note: I keep finding more problems with the Red Pill, so this series will continue for a while longer.
Length: 2,400 words
Reading Time: 13 minutes

Where there is no prophetic vision, the people cast off restraint, but blessed is he who keeps the law.

Proverbs 29:18 (ESV)

Overview

In the Exposition of this month’s theme, A Failure of Knowledge Transference was identified as one type of problem with The Red Pill.

There are six main areas of knowledge transference that have been ineffective.

1. Models are misappropriated.
2. Models are misinterpreted.
3. Models are misunderstood.
4. Models are misapplied.
5. The Practical Application is Difficult, Elusive, Insurmountable, or Unacceptable
6. The Absence of Actionable Knowledge

This essay will cover the fourth.

Foundational reading includes the basics of modelling and 9 Types of Red Pill Models.

Intro

In this essay, I’ll point out 4 of what I feel are the most egregious misapplications of Red Pill lore:

1. Trying to Achieve Logical Perfection as denial
2. Romantic Fantasy as escapism
3. The Purple Pill as idolatry
4. Trying to ‘Fix’ the Mating Market

I may cover some other faux pas in future posts as they come to my attention.

1. Trying to Achieve Logical Perfection (Denial)

As stated in a previous post, models are used to communicate abstract ideas.  Also, models do not need to be 100% perfect for them to be useful in this regard.  If for whatever reason, a man doesn’t agree with the assumed principles of the model that is used to communicate a particular message (e.g. evolutionary psychology, natural selection, sociosexual dynamics, etc.), it does not revoke the validity or value of the message itself, as long as it is regarded in the proper context.

Nevertheless, instead of asking, “What is the nature of this phenomenon?” and “Am I like this in any way?” or “How could this information help me make better decisions?”, men will be looking for incongruencies, logical errors, or any other justification to short-circuit a thorough introspection — all in order to weasel out of taking action or holding themselves responsible for the possible ramifications.

This is like women being confronted with their own solipsism and then saying, “But I’m not like that.” It is a denial.

“If the shoe fits, then wear it.”

That said, if a man finds that Rollo’s model of ‘love’, Beta orbiting, Complementarianism, Wh!te Knighting, or any other secular model fits their life more accurately than a more Christian model, the response should NOT be to nitpick about whether the particular assumptions of the model are Biblical or scientific, or even true, etc., but to recognize this difference, own it (confess it), and then make some attempts to realign one’s life to better fit a preferred model.  A great deal of cultural awareness, self-awareness, and common sense is necessary in this regard.

I’ll spell out some basic responses for the sake of illustration.

1. If a single Christian man is receiving IOIs and Meet Cutes from women, then perhaps marriage is in the cards for him –> so then choose the appropriate model of Headship.  Making this happen might require other strategic or tactical models to be considered.
2. If a married Christian man is dissatisfied with his marriage, then there are things he can do to improve his situation –> Sift through the literature, talk with other men, and devise a strategy.
3. If a Headship marriage is unattainable or the risks too onerous to accept, then a man may do better to set his mind on GHOW. –> so then choose the appropriate model of celibacy.

The (all too common) WRONG responses are…

• To cite a lack of 100% accuracy in order to deny that an otherwise suitable model applies.
• To resign one’s self to the fate predicted by a secular model, which leads to the Black Pill for most men.

2. Romantic Fantasy (Escapism)

Another misapplication of Red Pill lore is when guys use theoretical models to derive an empirical ideal, and then use this romantic fantasy as a crutch or an excuse to dismiss or avoid dealing with inconvenient or unpleasant realities on the ground. It is essentially a philosophical evasion comparable to that of trying to achieve philosophical perfection, only the purpose is escapism rather than denial.

Romantic fantasies can be quite inspiring, but the problem with this is that it is invariably used to judge women, instead of inspiring a man to find hope and aim higher.

We see this happening with single dudes who make long checklists of traits they “must have” or will not tolerate in a woman, when in fact, they aren’t even seeing anyone — men who say they want a virgin wife who don’t even have a girlfriend. Dudes lost in fantasy land need to find a ‘girlfriend’ first, and then analyze what’s going on.

We also see this happening with guys who have been seeing a girl for a while, but they’ll come up with all kinds of excuses not to marry her. Guys shouldn’t be wasting their time (and hers) with chicks they already know they’re not willing to marry. These guys need to be assessing the feasibility of marriage early on, and make a decision ASAP. If he’s already banging her, then they’re essentially already married and he has already made that choice and needs to take responsibility for it. In this case, he needs to stop flagellating with fantasies of ‘love’, or finding a better or more perfect woman, spinning plates, or whatever, and face his fears of commitment, especially if she’s preggo. (1 Corinthians 7:9)

We also see this happening when married men compare their wives to Red Pill ideals and then feel angry or despondent because they’re stuck with someone they’ve come to see as debased, defiled, immature, problematic, subpar, substandard, or relatively unattractive. Then they check out of their marriages without doing anything to address what they perceive as a problem.

Instead of judging women and flirting with escapism, men should use Red Pill information to develop the skills a man (husband) needs to manage a woman (e.g. his wife). Red Pill concepts should be applied towards solving the daily conflicts and issues that a man faces in his relationship / marriage. The majority of issues can be solved simply by telling the GF / wife the magic words, “No” and “You are mine”, stating some expectations, and making a few demands.

“No. Your threats and fits will not get you what you want.”

“No. You may not drink more than one bottle of wine per day.”

“No. I will not physician shop to obtain more narcotics for your addiction.”

“No. You may not spend one penny more than what we’ve budgeted for real estate.”

“No. I will not change my mind and I will defend my family from all threats, including you.”

Of course, women will act like they hate this, but deep inside they love it. She doesn’t need to agree, she just needs to know that she has a dominant Head. She’ll comply with time, and if she doesn’t, it’s on her.

A man judging women and/or engaging in denial / escapism / romantic fantasy is evading his responsibility as a Head and will lose opportunities for grace and growth. His inability, or possibly unwillingness, to guide her, teach her, and check her excesses will prevent him from finding / keeping a GF / wife, and will only lead to bitterness, disappointment, frustration, hard times, heartache, legal issues, and ultimately the dissolution of the relationship / marriage.

To offer some perspective, the Orthodox Church teaches that the married person is responsible for the salvation of his/her husband or wife. If a man has a rebellious wife, it would be easy to misinterpret this teaching as being hopelessly condemned to hell. But properly understood, this as a missive to take responsibility for one’s influence on the marriage.

3. The Purple Pill (Idolatry)

Since its inception, there have always been attempts made to adapt Red Pill truths to solve Blue Pill problems.  In general, this approach is called the Purple Pill.

Protestant Evangelicalism used to be solidly Blue Pill, but ever since the Red Pill has gone mainstream, churchianism has taken on a Purple tinge. More and more evangelical bloggers, pastors, and teachers are usurping Red Pill ideas and brandishing Red Pill terms. Most of them are attempting to appear culturally informed in order to relate to younger generations. Few of them take the Red Pill lore seriously. Straw Man models are often misapplied as an abstract hyperbolic criticism of cherry picked groups of men (e.g. the Manosphere, !ncels, deadbeat dads, et al.), or are dismissed as m!s0gyn!st!c, and NOT as general wisdom.

A variation of the Purple Pill problem also appears in Selling Blue Pills Painted Red, where a man is valued for his ability to get laid, or a man’s self-esteem is dependent on his ability to attract and/or Game women.

Ultimately, the Purple Pill is a compromise with hypoagentic gynocentrism. IOW, idolatry.

No.  The Red Pill has always been about understanding and dealing with reality — especially that which is hard to grasp and accept — reality that defies common sense (such as women’s seemingly inane behaviors), and/or eludes intuitive understanding (such as the nature of women), or is inconvenient, unpleasant, or flat-out ugly.  The Christian Red Pill has always been about returning to the basics of life and marriage, and adapting to reality with the lens of faith and the aim of greater obedience to the Lord.

Ultimately, the Red Pill (of either variety) is a source of wisdom.  It is a praxeology for living wisely (or more foolishly, depending on one’s values), NOT “define the unicorn and chase after it”.

The Red Pill teaches the truth about analyzing potential (or the lack thereof), what works in real-life with real women (which is of inestimable valuable to married men), assessing what’s actually available on the market and figuring out how to deal with it, and what can be reasonably expected as a result of certain actions or choices.

4. Trying to ‘Fix’ the Mating Market

Dead Bedroom Dating wrote,

“These men are missing fundamental understanding, because they stopped at a certain layer to stick to the Blue Pill.  They’re convinced that the system fundamentally works and something did go wrong somewhere, like some machinery that needs to be fixed and repaired.

However, androgyny, divorce gr@pe, children suffering or not being born at all (MGTOW) are natural outcomes of the society they live in and nurture by furthering it through participating in its labor market.  That’s the Red Pill they won’t accept. The iPhone is just too important to face the truth.  They can complain all they want, but MGTOW is not some aberrant feature, it’s also one of the regular outcomes.

And this is the reason why marriage is perfectly fine in parallel societies, who just do not participate in the idolatry which is worshiping machinery.”

… and the gynocracy. (I would interpret ‘iPhone’ and ‘machinery’ as representations of materialism.)

Interestingly, the word ‘fix’ (in bold) takes on multiple entendres here.

1. To repair or put in order.
2. To assume a rigid, solid, or unchanging form.
3. A position from which it is difficult (for women) to escape.
4. To neuter an animal (to prevent procreation).

When men talk as though the mating market needs to be ‘fixed’, I believe they’re implying all four of these meanings, although they might only admit the first.

Dead Bedroom Dating wrote,

“The Red Pill still is not about complaining how the sexual market changed, it’s about empirically recognizing what is real and what works and adapting to it.  And the landscape is changing continuously.”

Yes, and the only thing that doesn’t change is change itself.  Just when they begin to understand what’s going on, the game changes and then they’re back to square one.

The reason why this change is upsetting to men and generates complaints is because…

• They’re focused on establishing a sense of emotional stability and psychological comfort.
• They’re unable to face their own needs and they expect others (i.e. a woman) to feed their needs.  (Hint: Only God can satisfy certain needs.)
• They’re trying to mastermind their own lives instead of trusting in God.
• They prefer to languish in a needy state, revel in a poverty mentality, and play the role of the adorer.  After all, this is much easier and more enjoyable than working on themselves; being decisive, building an internal locus of control, establishing a domain of influence, maintaining an attitude of detachment, and so on.

All in all, this mindset displays a lack of confidence and faith.  It is trying to play God, as described in Misinterpreted Models.

Sooner or later, men will have to accept the fact that the mating market is ‘broken’, and it will always be ‘broken’.  It cannot be ‘fixed’ to one’s liking.  But in fact, it isn’t ‘broken’ at all.  It is, just as it is, like it or not, the playing field in which God has ordained for us to glorify Him.  The bottom line is whether you can navigate it and find contentment somehow.  You can’t keep the above mentality and glorify God through faith at the same time.  IOW, the problem is not the ‘broken’ mating market, it is one’s attitude.  If you think the mating market needs ‘fixed’, you may be entirely right in principle, but in reality, it is you that needs fixed. The brokenness of the mating market is simply the impetus that God is using to kick you out of your comfort zone and take real action in your life.

So put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Concluding Statements

Here I’ve only covered 4 ways that men misapply models, and I suppose there are others. But the larger issue is that men misapply models for reasons. These reasons include…

1. They have no sense of self, no masculine identity.
2. They have no vision, no concept of how things could be, or should be.
3. They have no well-defined purpose, other than pursuing their own conveniences and pleasures.
4. They are more interested in checking out: escapism, idolatry, and judging others.
5. They believe false or misleading doctrine (e.g. complementarianism, egalitarianism, etc.)
6. They hold false value systems (e.g. Chivalry, female hypoagency / male hyperagency, gynocentrism, One-itis, prescient obsessions with ‘love‘, etc.)
7. Hesitancy and indecision caused by a general lack of confidence and faith.

A man would do well to check himself to see if he harbors any of these reasons for misapplying Red Pill concepts.

Related

• Σ Frame: The Red Pill and Blue Pill as Paradigms of Sanctification and Defilement (with a mathematical analogy) (2020/11/15)
• Σ Frame: The Ever Looming Black Pill (2022/9/12)