A case study of how churchians choose to marry other churchians.

Readership: Christian Men
Theme: IOIs and Vetting
Length: 1,000 words
Reading Time: 5 minutes

In response to Deep Strength’s post, You should be training your wife (2021/6/16), Jack wrote,

“I think this idea should be discussed openly, because if men made this expectation clear in the beginning, then this would weed out those women who disagree with the idea of Headship.  It’s a vetting technique that will reveal whether a woman has a scarlet letter rebellious and contentious heart, or the Mark of Eve, so to speak.”

Red Pill Apostle responded [emphasis mine],

“You are getting at the concepts of selection and adverse selection. If you can accurately communicate the traits of who you are up front, girls will self-select away from or towards you depending on how well y’all match up. If you how you communicate the traits of who you are is off somehow then you run the risk of adverse selection where you attract girls with the wrong fit for you.

Thinking about this concept further, this may be one of the more damaging parts of the modern church’s teaching on men and marriage because it creates a trend of men being selected by women that are egalitarians. The lessons men are taught about masculinity, girls and marriage show up in men’s characteristics that the egalitarian girl finds pleasing and there is little impetus for her to move on over philosophical / theological views. The expression of biblical masculinity coupled with biblically minded vetting processes advocated for here and elsewhere help mitigate the chances of adverse selection.”

IOW, young, single, Churchian feminists are on a quest to find a kinder, gentler Male Feminist who bends to their whims.  It is always hoped that such a man will also be a total stud, but regular readers will know that such a man does not exist.

Aaand… right on cue, a female commenter chimes in to prove RPA’s statement (in bold) correct.

susan barackman-artist says:

“I do understand the respect thing but shouldn’t that go both ways?  Like the man should not dis his wife and that she should be able to correct him.”

Translation: “Men are to respect women as their betters who know better.”

“Am I mistaken about Christianity?  When I became a Christian I thought that God / Jesus / Holy Spirit became my teacher, leader, guide, etc. — not a fallible man.”

Translation: “In my preferred version of churchianity, men are a fifth wheel — a spare to be used in case of an emergency — just as it should be.” A typical Complementarian / Egalitarian attitude.

“After living under Gothard theology for a while I realized that putting all the rules on how women should act and very few on men that boil down to lead and breed caused the abuse of many women by men who hid behind a few bible verses that gave them free rein and free reign.”

Translation: “Male Authority = Abuuussee!!!  Reee!!!”

She was exposed to Headship, but she self-de-selected out of it.  Apparently, she couldn’t see the glory of God in a hierarchical structure, probably because she had been sucking on churchian / cultural feminist mantras for her entire life.

“The fact that those few misinterpreted verses about male headship spawned such patriarchal websites such as Biblical Gender Roles that claims the bible says men are owners of their wives, women should not go to college or be educated or even vote, and only be housewives and mothers, advocating for marrying young girls in their teens and molding them to be the perfect wife in all ways… among other things that will make your hair stand on end — all backed up by scripture !!!!!!!!!”

Translation: “If that’s what scripture says, then it must be wrong!”

“And to disagree with someone who supports women in “traditional” submissive roles is to invite ire, name calling, vitriol and many other unchristian responses, including not allowing differing opinions on their sites, only comments that agree with what they say.”

Translation: “No one will listen to my heretical femcentric views!  Toxic masculinity!”

“If God meant for women to only be housewives and mothers why did He give some great inventive minds and abilities?  Why was it 3 black women that did the math and computer calculations that got the astronauts home safe from the moon?  Why didn’t God give that knowledge to men whose women were at home raising kids and cleaning house?”

Translation: “Strong Independent Womyn™ Power!  Rah!”

“One last point… even though patriarchy is in the Bible that does not make it God’s plan for the family.  To say that is to also agree slavery is ok because it is in the Bible as part of the ancient and Roman / Greco world where biblical events took place.  Under patriarchy women can be abused.  But under mutuality, no one is abused because God is the only authority.  Yes, there are wordly [sic] authorities but we cannot obey them blindly.”

Translation: “Patriarchy is slavery!  But slavery to the gubmint is OK as long as wimmin can retain their right to pursue the Feminine Imperative.”

And the million dollar question is, what kind of man did she marry?

“My husband told me the day we got married he was not my boss or leader and that I was to follow God’s will in my life not his.”

Bingo!  She chose to marry a Complementarian / Egalitarian churchian Male Feminist!

Just like every other woman who says they want to marry “a nuyce Christian man” after they finish their rounds on the carousel sagacious season of singleness.

The moral of the story is that misguided Churchian women are selecting for misguided churchian men — men who will let their wives call the shots and run the show — essentially a Feminist or Complementarian marriage.

More evidence for why Christian men should be wary of marrying “Christian” women.

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