Some things cannot be separated.

Readership: Christians
Theme: A Mini-Series on Church Policy and Sacramental Marriage
Length: 1,200 words
Reading Time: 6 minutes

What is Superposition?

Before I get into the steak and eggs of the conclusions to this mini-series, I want to introduce the concept of superposition which should prove to be enlightening to our discussion.

The superposition principle states that when two or more phenomena are superimposed the outcome is the total of what you would have gotten from each of them separately.  In a mathematical analysis, we simply add the two together.  The value of superposition is the ability to assess the impact of two different phenomena that might appear to be totally unrelated, and yet both are true and are observed to affect the outcome.

For example, superposition can be observed when two wave pulses interact with each other to create constructive and destructive interference, as seen here.

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Superposition can be used to provide a satisfactory answer to the Schrödinger’s Cat thought experiment.  In this view, both a live cat and a dead cat can exist, but not simultaneously.  If we add the two states together, then we have a live cat for a period of time, and a dead cat for a period of time.  A third variable is introduced into the thought experiment in which the period of time for each is unknown (usually by placing the cat in an opaque box), thus creating the aspect of uncertainty.  The uncertainty is what creates the paradox, not the state of the cat’s life.

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Another example is Schrödinger’s Sexual Marketplace (H/T: Thedeti) in which sex is everywhere and nowhere at the same time, e.g. in the OASIS.  Here, sex is purely transactional and happening all the time, but taking place in private.  People want sex and are willing to transact for it but they don’t want anyone knowing that said transactions are taking place or when or where or with whom.  The superposed result is, as we all know, a culture-wide ambivalence towards sexual mores and the degradation of society as a whole.  If either illicit sex or the secrecy were removed from the equation, then the superposed result yields MGTOW or the Red Pill, respectively.

Social regulations and church canons governing sex and marriage are based on doctrinal interpretations and maintaining structures of ecclesiastical administration. They are NOT designed on the basis of what “works” towards increasing chastity, marital harmony, and sanctification. So in this case, we are superimposing hard rules over marriage without addressing the question of who’s pegging who, which only complicates things further as we saw in A Concise History of Marriage Regulations (2023/6/12). In effect, all the regulations do is assign MORE responsibilities.

In many of my expositions, it is assumed that the superposition principle applies to the metaphysical as well as to the physical.  It remains to the reader to decide whether this assumption is accurate / applicable or not.

Superposition NOT Applied to the Christian SMP/MMP is a Recipe for Disaster

We often make a distinction between the SMP and the MMP.  We have to do this because modernity assumes extramarital sex is the norm and marriage is some kind of formal ceremony in a church with lots of strings attached.

IOW, we refuse to superpose sex and marriage.  We want the sex, but we don’t want the responsibilities.

So how is that working out for us?

Looking back on my own dating life in college, I can see that my ignorance of how female attraction works (in combination with being Blue Pilled) made me see things much differently.  A lack of Red Pill knowledge about the female nature left me unable to superpose what I was thinking and what I was seeing.  It also left me unable to superpose sex and marriage, such that I could navigate the SMP to arrive in a relatively good marriage (MMP).

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I didn’t know that women have less agency than men do on the average.  Without this information, I assumed women had more agency than they actually do, and if they didn’t, they were bad / not marriage material.

I didn’t know anything about female arousal, or that women want sex as much as men do (but only with certain men).   I didn’t know AWALT. Without this information, I had the impression that women who expressed sexual desire towards me were bad / s1utty / not marriage material.

Because I thought this way, I avoided those women, which essentially cut me off from ever marrying a woman who was really into me.

Just as the uncertainty in the Schrödinger’s Cat thought experiment or the Schrödinger’s sexual marketplace creates a sense of mystery, a lack of knowledge left me unable to superpose sexual attraction with marital bonding.

This lack of knowledge is a big problem, maybe THE biggest problem (or at least it certainly was when I was coming of age back in the 80s and 90s). If men knew how these things work, then the SMP/MMP would be a lot easier to navigate and the chances of coming through it all right would be much better.

The secular Red Pill postulates that men need to have sex in order to learn how these things work. This is a “nuts and bolts” antidote to this ignorance (pun intended).  A better approach would be to have an older man sit you down and explain these things.  Older men should demonstrate to younger men how to arouse a woman, handle her sh!t tests, and so on.  We have the idea that this is what PUAs do, but instead, this is what fathers should be teaching their sons, and they should emphasize that this is what marriage is all about, not just how to get laid.  But we don’t do this because modern Christianity is unable to superpose the Old Testament’s description of human nature, sex, and marriage with the current SMP/MMP, and this to our own demise.

Sex = Marriage is Superposed by God

The thing I like about the Sex = Marriage concept is that it superposes the two, as God intended it to be.  It recognizes the soul changing nature of sex and assigns responsibilities to it — NOT responsibilities that make things easier for ecclesiastical authorities and lawyers to navigate the bureaucracy, but responsibilities that should be shouldered if we are to expect things to go well.

In fact, we cannot deny it. Sex and marriage are superposed by God, whether we like to admit it or not. For example,

  • N count matters.
  • Higher N → higher chance of divorce.
  • Sexual conduct is directly related to sanctification (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8).
  • Sex without marriage, or marriage without sex just isn’t right nor is it acceptable. (This is the reason most of us are here.)
  • A one-night-stand is a life changing decision, because it affects every relationship that follows after — especially the relationship that is called a marriage.
  • Church regulations have an impact on sexual behavior and marital quality.
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Couples who have sex for the first time should recognize it as the substance of marriage, and NOT separate the two by seeing sex as a sin and marriage as a distant and somewhat unrelated pie in the sky.  This is unrealistic and wrong.

What it is is what you get.  A formal ceremony isn’t going to change that, but only makes those responsibilities “permanent”.

Oh, yeah…  THAT’S what we’re trying to avoid!

I think this is the same reason many others DO NOT like the Sex = Marriage concept.  They want to keep sex and marriage in separate categories and deal with them separately, blithely thinking that this is going to work out somehow.

But thinking this way — refusing to superpose the two — is disastrous.  Take a look around.

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