So simple, and yet so impossible to find.

Readership: All
Theme: Wives and Mothers
Author’s Note: This post is based on comments from Oscar, Thedeti, et al.  Links to original comments are given in the initial words.
Length: 1,600 words
Reading Time: 8 minutes

Introduction

Knowing her Place (2023/5/5) made the point that a woman who knows how to fit in and support her husband’s Mission — without making waves — is a blessing to her entire household and to society at large.

The question was raised, “What does a woman need to be to have a satisfying life with her husband?”  The question applied to ALL husbands with their wives, ranging from the Average Joe to Herr Gigachadwick.

The Wants

In general, a man wants a woman who is an inspiration and a blessing to his life, and who is more of an asset and a benefit than a bothersome burden.

More specifically, there are a few basic things every man wants from his wife.

  1. Submit to him.
  2. Respect him.
  3. Look good for him.  (Stay thin, dress attractively, etc.)
  4. Make his house a place he actually wants to come home to.
  5. Be a good mother to his children.
  6. Feed him food he enjoys.
  7. Have lots of sex with him.

Other than that, there are things each man wants that are particular to him.

  • Some men want a woman who knows her place.
  • Some men want an adventurous traveling partner.
  • Some men want a woman who is fun to hang out with.
  • Some men want an intriguing intellectual conversation.
  • Some men want a woman who is super-hot and sexy, at least in his eyes.
  • Some men want a woman who will be an affectionate and tender lover and/or a crazy sex partner.
  • Some men want an assistant who’ll keep their personal lives organized because they have demanding careers.
  • Some men want a woman who’ll faithfully maintain the home front while he’s away, maybe for long periods of time.
  • Some men want a woman who will keep him inspired to achieve the larger vision he has in life, and support him in that endeavor.
  • Some men want a “trophy wife” to create an attractive looking couple, boost his social confidence, and enhance his public image.
img-1783682847-6a50d71fcc5954.01979267.jpgObviously an immature relationship that will probably not last. Note the “air hand”.

Whatever it may be, the man needs to be honest about his expectations, and the woman needs to be honest about whether or not she’s willing and able to meet his expectations.  Some men overlook the qualifications in the former list to his own detriment. Some men don’t know which specific kind of woman described in the latter list is best for him, or he can’t decide, maybe even thinking he’ll find a magical unicorn that can be all of the above. Such a man is immature and/or does not know himself well. Dishonesty, ignorance, and/or immaturity concerning individual values, goals of marriage, and their future life together is where many marriages fail — even before they begin.

The Needs

To BE a wife, a woman needs to…

  1. Submit to her husband.
  2. Do what her husband tells her to do.

Such a woman needs to be…

  • A credit to her family of origin
  • Agreeable
  • Appreciative
  • Chaste
  • Cheerful, mirthful, optimistic, winsome…
  • Common sensical
  • Contrite
  • Honorable
  • Humble
  • Industrious
  • Modest
  • Patient
  • Prudent
  • Quiet spirited, not mouthy or copping an attitude
  • Realistic about her own value
  • Reasonable
  • Reverent towards authority, i.e. respect for her Head (i.e. father and husband).
  • Sober
  • Serious-minded
  • Teachable
  • Thankful in her heart
  • Willing to have as much sex with her husband as he wants to have.

Any woman wanting a husband needs most or all of these attributes, and be willing to work very hard on developing those she doesn’t have.

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The Overlap

There are three things that appear in both The Wants and The Needs categories: Respect, Sex, and Submission.  Thus, these three things are crucially important.  For a woman to successfully navigate these three critical Wants and Needs, she needs to be…

  1. Aware of the fact that the most valuable gifts she could ever give to a husband are her chastity, her complete trust, her sexual purity, and children.  In simple terms, she must be a young virgin at the time of her wedding.
  2. Aware that her sexuality must be protected and a good sex life must be nurtured, and ONLY with the man she chooses to marry. (Women who don’t do this, which is most women these days, will be eternally disappointed in marriage, because they’ll never, ever be able to “want to have sex” with their husbands, simply because the quality of man they can land in marriage won’t be able to inspire the intense feelings they experienced while fornicating with Ch@dwicks in the past.)
  3. Aware that the ADIEU HUSsie Script, the Career Life Script, the Feminist Life Script, et al. and Progressive Feminism in general are Worldly LIES designed to entice women to sacrifice their own souls on the altars of self-centeredness and sexual promiscuity, and thereby destroy that which is most important to men, marriage, family formation, and God.
  4. Aware that the entire Western culture conditions women to NOT respect and NOT trust men as a fundamental principle.  She must actively guard her heart and mind against these influences.
  5. Cognizant that her ability to attract men for sex almost never translates into attracting men for commitment.
  6. Cognizant of the fact that she will probably not marry a very sexually attractive man.
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The Deficiency

The problem here is that women are no longer taught and trained to be good wives and mothers.  Worse, women do NOT in general have any respect for men en masse, and women are actively taught to openly disrespect men as a group.  Even worse yet, women are subtly or not so subtly encouraged to leave and/or rebel against the Headship Authority of their fathers (assuming there is one in the first place), and play the harlot for 10 years on the average before even thinking seriously about marriage.  Thus women are ruined for marriage long before marriage.  Worst of all, fulfilling their God ordained purpose as wives, mothers, companions, and helpers never even enters their minds, even after marriage.

In terms of Men’s Wants and Needs,

  1. “Submit to him” — Not taught nowadays when girls are growing up.
  2. “Respect him” — Not taught this.
  3. “Look good for him” — Only in “getting him,” after that, many let themselves go.
  4. “Make his house a place he actually wants to come home to” — Not taught this.
  5. “Be a good mother to his children” — TBD, some are, some aren’t.
  6. “Feed him food he enjoys” — Many wives can’t cook.  Hubby has to make the meals or they eat out, take out, or eat very simple meals, e.g. store bought frozen pizzas, hot dogs, hamburgers / fries, instant noodles, etc.
  7. “Have lots of sex with him” — To get him, after that, the bedroom fun tapers off.

Those few women who do manage to somehow learn of the vast power they hold in being naturally able to easily fulfill men’s Wants and Needs (i.e. offering respect, sex, and submission) will often coopt it for selfish purposes that have nothing to do with family formation (e.g. getting attention, Gold Digging, OASIS, OnlyF@ns, pr0st!tut!0n, Sugaring, or worse).

But fortunately for our society, most modern women are completely ignorant of their powers of agency and will twist themselves into pretzels justifying why they shouldn’t have to do these very simple things.

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The Worldly Zeitgeist

We are now starting on our fourth generation of women who have been specifically taught that fornication* is the broad road to self-actualization; that they are men’s “equals” in every significant way; that there are no real functional differences between men and women; and that men in general cannot be trusted.  To today’s crop of women, men are, at best, befuddled, confused, sex obsessed horndogs who can’t lead themselves, much less anyone else.  At worst, men are evil, idiotic, m!s0gyn!st, subhuman, sex crazed, potential r@p!sts who have to be curtailed, controlled, brought to heel, and kept at arm’s length.

Women are taught all that, and then say,

“What?!? You want me to submit to that?  You want me to pick one of them and then spend the rest of my life doing what he says?  Are you out of your mind?”

“And you want me to do that for Billy Beta?  You expect me to do that for Ernie Engineer, Tom Teacher, Paul Plumber, Carl Claimsadjuster, Fred Farmer, Alan Assemblyline?  You have GOT to be kidding!”

“Yeah, let me explain something to you.  I have the p_ssy, so I make the rules!  If he wants anything from me, he’s doing it MY WAY!  Plus, scripture says he’s required to love me as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.  So that means he has to love me no matter how crappy I am and he has to go out there and give himself up for me.”

“So you can take that “submit” and “obey” sh!t and shove it where the sun don’t shine, brother.  That AIN’T happening, not today, not ever!”

That’s women’s attitudes toward men and marriage.  That’s why men are tuning out and turning off.  Men just can’t get what they Want or Need out of women and/or marriage anymore, and there’s too much hassle and too many significant risks to even bother.

Meanwhile, Men’s Wants and Needs continue to be unaddressed and unfulfilled.  That’s why we are where we are.

* The idea of fornication is seldom mentioned, as this would cast light on it being sin. Instead, women are pushed into settings and situations in which fornication “just happens”, e.g. “finding yourself”, FOMO/YOLO, “getting experience”, going away to college, living independently, pursuing a career, traveling, etc.

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