Too real to be funny.

Readership: All
Theme: Wives and Mothers
Length: 1,600 words
Reading Time: 8 minutes

I just had a “funny” idea (not so funny actually, but you’ll see what I mean).

What if there was a TV sitcom of a modern marriage depicted at its WORST, just like we discuss here in the Manosphere?

The husband is good natured, macho, and hardworking. He has a tough working class job as a plumber. He wears the worn out vestiges of having once been handsome, long before the daily hassles of 10 years of marriage took its toll on him.

The wife is an acrid, bitter, blue-haired, loud mouthed, overweight, tattooed, ex-carousel rider, always spouting off back-handed insults / bulverisms, and incinerating her husband’s ego with every overworked run-on sentence. She works in a w0ke corporate office, like Am@z0n or G00gle. She constantly compares him in a negative light to other men she works with, especially her boss and her boss’ boss. He interprets this as a “Man up!” message and takes it seriously to heart with comedic effect. “Yeah, she’s right. I’ve got to do better than this.”

She makes more money than he does and she never fails to lord it over him and grind it in, which comes across as overkill. Even so, all their expenses come out of his earnings. Meanwhile, she is saving up her income, saying that “It is for the children’s college funds.” In passing, it is revealed that she is preparing this money for the possibility of a divorce. If and when a divorce ever rolls around, she plans to take the whole nest egg on top of alimony and child support, and the children will be left to fend for themselves.

After his long hard days fixing pipes, when he comes home he has to cook supper, wash the clothes and dishes, help the kids with their homework, and tuck them into bed. Meanwhile, she gets tanked on boxed wine, cheese, and coldcuts, and watches Netflix with her cats while sitting in a pile of pillows and blankets. She repetitively gets angry at her cats for stealing her coldcuts and she yells out boorish questions and presumptuous orders from time to time in a drunken stupor.

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They go to church about once a month. He is torn between wanting to go more often for the kids’ sake, and not wanting to go because it’s a discouraging, man-bashing, beta factory. She is also torn between wanting to go more often to hear the ear tickling feminist heresies of the handsome apostate minister, and not wanting to go because the proud@ss church ladies make her look embarassingly bad by comparison. Scenes of them attending church offer caricatures of a wide variety of highly skewed characters; the prissy Choich lady, the irrationally ultra-positive matron repeating “Yes, but you must always look on the bright side… and be thankful for what you have!”, mysterious oddball deacons who are Freem@sons secretly conniving on how to make money off the church’s real estate investments, the tattered unshaven recovering drunkard who’s constantly praising Jesus, good beta boys pontificating on “What would Jesus do?”, party girls forced to attend church by their emotionally cold parents, snotty sophisticated sorority girls pretending to be good girls, post-wall single-moms who can’t keep up with the carousel competition and suddenly “found Christ”, a sexy female choir director who wags her @ss in front of the congregation whenever she waves her baton, and a hot church secretary who is secretly having affairs with several married men in the congregation including the pastor. The brief excerps of sermons borrow scriptures to wank over W0ke social constructs and tear down men. All with comedic effect.

They have duty sex about twice a year. He’s sneaking p0rn to take the edge off, and she catches him on occasion, and ridicules and shames him for that. From the context of the discoverie, it is evident that if she was putting out more regularly, there would be no need for skin pics.

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She goes out with her boss on the weekends, and they travel abroad together a couple times a year. These scenes involve intersexual interactions which show the wife has a zany flirtatious side that comes out whenever she is outside the home. Each time, she comes home and brags about it. She says she “earned” her “social standing” and that he could never afford to treat her like the princess that she assumes she is. There are lots of circumstantial and physical indicators that there’s some hanky panky going on, but always with plausible deniability accompanied with a reverse accusation on the husband for violating the code of assumed trust (which is non-existent). He feels ashamed of himself and vows to think more highly of his wife, again with soppy comedic effect.

He has to perform, put up with all her crap, and make her “happy”, because if he slips up even once, she’ll enforce Duluth and run him through a nasty divorce in which she takes the kids, half of everything (which is revealed to be much more than half after the house would be sold and the lawyers are paid), and leaves him with nothing but alimony and child support payments. She doesn’t tell him all this directly, but instead insinuates this threat by talking about all her “friends” who railroaded their once relatively rich husbands into the grave and took up with another man. In one story, she claims that one “friend” ran off with her lawyer to ensure it was a done deal and got a Maserati in the process. Another story holds that the “friend” got knocked up by 3 men so that she could collect 3 child support payments, thereby ruining all 3 men. It is assumed that men “owe” this to women, all to the guffaws of viewers.

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To cap it off, she never lets him forget how thankful he should be to have married a Precious Princess like her, who will never do those things that her “friends” did, which are the same things she is secretly scheming in her heart to do to him! [Insert canned laughter as an irony to incite conviction and a frustrated catharsis in viewers.]

In every other episode, another married couple cast as neighbors drops by to visit. In separate scenes, the men talk privately with each other and so do the women. In these scenes, the husband’s friend attempts to Red Pill him, but he feigns shock and insists that he’s got to be a “good man”, not a “m!s0gyn!st”. “She has her problems, but she has a good heart.” He comes up with all the common anecdotal Blue Pill excuses for every Red Pill point his friend makes. “No man, it’s not like that…” Over the course of the season, the Red Pill is fully explained.

In the scene of the women’s private conversation, the wife laments about how much pressure she faces at a workplace that has 6 hour work days, 6 weeks paid vacation every year, free lattes, and a meditation room. She commiserates about how boring and emotionally unavailable her husband is, recasting this as “abusive” behavior. She engages in a pity party, going on and on about how much emotional work she has to do just to tolerate him and the children. Wine, cats, social media, and TV are her only relief valve. The audience is captivated in a suspension of disbelief. All their words and behaviors parallel exactly what the men are discussing in alternating scenes, thereby proving the truth of the male friend’s Red Pill advice.

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After these scenes are over and the cast members all appear together again, they all pretend as if there wasn’t any serious discussion, putting on airs like they were discussing football, a difficult plumbing customer, etc. and pedicures, “that new guy”, etc. respectively. The incongruency is self-effacing to the husband, but the Red Pilled neighbors shake their heads, understanding that this couple can’t wake up from their delusions because of various ego investments. To nail down the duplicity, the following scene is of the neighbor couple discussing their interactions and empathetically joking and laughing about it while walking home.

In every other other episode, another married couple cast as friends from church drop in. This couple is even more Blue Pilled than the main characters. They bring their kids, and they are a mess. The son is dressed like a buffoon, and gives one word answers whenever he is spoken to. He carries an iPad covered with anime stickers and plays video games constantly. The daughter has a nape cut hairstyle, tattoos of onions on her oxters that look like purple b00bs from a distance, and a snarky tongue — an arrogant slore in the making. The wife has a repetitive line in which she says, to the shame of her entire family, she should have gotten one or two more abortions. In every episode, they quote the bible out of context, and from the context of the social interaction, it is crystal clear (1) why they believe what they do, and (2) how their wrong thinking contributes to their overall turbid weirdness. Then they advise the main characters to go to church more often and follow the bible like they do in order to solve all their problems. Viewers are astounded by the hypocrisy. Over the course of the season, the errors of the Blue Pill and Churchianity are fully explained.

IMO, this Bizarro World would be the hottest sitcom of 2023, even better than Married with Children or Raised by Wolves. However, I know in reality it would hit way too close to home for all too many viewers, thus rendering it an opprobrious agit prop. OTOH, maybe that’s just what the Western masses need to get them off their @sses and do some changes.

Of course, a sitcom like this would be much too close to the truth of reality to ever be approved by the MGM hegemony.

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