Also applies to Instagram, YouTube, the OASIS, et al.

Readership: All
Theme: The Snares of Sin
Length: 1,100 words
Reading Time: 6 minutes 

“Cum with me, and I will make you fishers of men!”

Satan misquoting Jesus Christ to the life forms on Planet Tumblr (c.f. Matthew 4:19)

Planet Tumblr is an aquatic world filled with desires, feelings, impressions, and moods.

The fish, as well as crustaceans, nematodes, parasites, and other invertebrate species therein, feed on the biosystem and on each other.  The interdynamic feedback loop, and the fact that the fish remain submerged in the waters at all times, leads to an all-consuming obsession with life within the system.  The bigger fish need constant uninterrupted bathing in the stream of attention, and because they are big fish, the waters of attention repeatedly flow through the gills of their ego, preventing them from suffocating on reality.

As a result of this biodynamic system, over time, the resident species adapt to the risks and rewards by developing a highly efficient selection routine. They know what time of day to go fishing, they know what a “good size” is, where the best location is to spring their trap, and even how much is enough before it affects their feeding schedule. They have a finely honed discrimination concerning certain qualities of the other fish – they know exactly what causes stimulation, they know the best presentation of the bait and just what type of finfare gives their quarry an ego/endorphine rush.

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When they go fishing, they circulate certain stimuli through the prey fish’s gills, hooking them on a dopamine rush and thereby establish a visceral power of attraction within that prey fish.  The trick is to spike the bait stimuli with the sparkling oxygen of lust in a much higher concentration than what already richly exists in the surrounding waters.  This has a contaminating effect, which leads to the bioaccumulation of lust (in the male species) and bimbofication (in the female) which permeates the waterways, enriching all the waters and the fish therein.

For example, the female catfish have long tentacles that are highly sensitive to the immediate environment, and they require so little oxygen that it doesn’t matter what they catch.  They will swim in close association with the other fish and absorb the oxygen of lusty attention by osmosis.

Females of the species are especially wary of certain males who they consider to be excessively undersized but who make themselves appear significantly larger by disguising themselves in a wadding of colorful seaweed.  Nevertheless, a small number of these enamored males are successful in this endeavor, and can extract their daily supply of oxygen through short term breeding.

But once even one female determines that a particular male amphibian is deserving of a bit less and no more, the female will emit a sonar signal with a homing device attached to that male (known to biologists as an auto-rejector) in order to warn the other females not to approach. The male is unaware of this and remains oblivious.

Certain female species are known to shift their entire way of life to coincide with the streaming flows.  Others make a game of collecting within their abdomens a sperm bank of the largest, most beautiful, and most aggressive fish they might chance to meet.  In response, Fishmongers have developed highly refined techniques to deal with what is known as the Tahitian Imperative.  Others who were raised in a restrictive aquaculture have been known to swim as far as they can from their hatcheries, sometimes crossing oceans in their quest for “freedom” (which they already have).  After a long period away from home, they resemble the local fish in appearance, but they are prone to developing diseases and pathologies which they had been protected from earlier in life and had never formed antibodies against.

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Pubescent male amphibians frequently appear flushed in the region of the face and neck, with eyes popping at the very sight of a female’s enticingly smooth and bulbous tentacles.  The endocrine systems of the young growing male amphibians have horribly intense addictions to the life sustaining oxygen of lust.  Because of their biological and psychological dependence on oxygen, these males will grow ridiculously long external gills which stretch out of themselves and brush against anything that moves, causing them to become sensitive to the slightest provocation.  Consequently, their gills will be nipped and trimmed down by competitors, leading them to become oxygen deficient and underdeveloped.

More experienced Carpathians have various techniques of warning these males.  However, due to their inexperience and their mind numbing strength of will to survive and mate, the sounds of their warnings often fall on an insensitive layer of tissue.  In addition, their tympanic membranes, like that of frogs, become desensitized underwater due to the increased hydrostatic pressure.  Should the others ever transmit any negative signals related to one’s perceived potential of oxygenation or breeding, it is merely perceived as a painful and distracting percussive noise.

Most young male amphibians will not survive in the water and so choose to burrow under the dense loam under the riverbed.  However, a small number eventually gain the size and strength needed to compete for the oxygen of attention in the marketplace.

Other young males endure extreme physical training, building up an immense physical structure, simply because this will attract the oxygen of attention from the opposite sex.

The male amphibians that survive will build a home in a secluded area with turbulent waters which supplies the high levels of oxygen that they need.

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All aquatic life forms on Tumblr must always be careful not to give away any keywords or phrases that might attract the glare of the ever watchful eye of the fish farmer when he comes culling.  For it is his capitalistic will for the fat fish to grow fatter for his own consumption, and for the thin fish to die off.  Social or philosophical Mavericks are not tolerated either, but are suddenly harpooned without notice.

In the beginning, no one knew that they would become hopelessly addicted to the attention (females) and the lust (males).  Like frogs in a kettle, that serious feeling had always been there – an innate desire for the dirty dense loam of the riverbed, perpetually teeming with benthic life.  It had no gradual build-up nor special day of consummation; it was just there all along, festering and fomenting the dissipation of desire.

Just as Persephone ate the pomegranate seeds that spilt from the ramrod of Hades, all who are hungry may cum and be bitten from the heart at any time, thereby receiving in themselves the due penalty for their fervor – the joys of defilement and the sanctification of sin.

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