A proactive and responsible stance towards life, with God’s blessing, eventually leads to Contentment.
Readership: All
Theme: Consolidating Masculinity
Length: 1,200 words
Reading Time: 6 minutes
False Concepts of Masculine Contentment
Contentment is often regarded as more or less equivalent to Complacency. This is far from the truth. Perhaps this false identification is made through observation, as we generally see that discontented people are the most agentic, for better or for ill, so it is easy to assume that contented people are not, or less so. For example, compare discontented liberals, who are always on the warpath, with stuffy conservacucks, who philosophize and do nothing. This impression is misleading because both Conservatives and Liberals are rather discontent with the political climate, but they respond in different ways. Liberals believe they need to create change, while Conservatives think they need to prevent change, which comes across as doing nothing whenever Liberals manage to advance their agendas.
While Contentment is not the same as Complacency (as I will describe in this post and the next), the association of Discontent with Agency is true. Discontentedness actually serves a God ordained purpose to drive a man to action. But it is not good if a man responds to discontentedness with either of the following.
- Complacency — Complaining, losing hope, succumbing to self-pity, and becoming dejected.
- Negative Ambition — Pushing himself to accumulate more accomplishments and possessions with no sense of mission or purpose.
Going back to the previous example, although both Conservatives and Liberals are intensely discontent with the current political standoff, Republicucks often fall back to the first option, while SJWs and other liberals concentrate on the second in a vain effort to create a utopian world.
The best response is the positive variety of Ambition, which is, as I described before, a desire for continual improvement and the freshness of creative development. Contentment comes when that creative change has been realized in a well-functioning form. So a positive Ambition, or proactivity, is a necessary precursor to achieving Contentment. Thus, Contentment is rather the result of exercising Agency, that is, doing the opposite of remaining Complacent.
A man would do well to know which reaction he is predisposed to doing.
As to the first, if Contentment is translated to mean Complacency — just to let things be and not seek to better oneself (e.g. to be fruitful; to be sanctified; to become like Christ) — that is NOT the true meaning of Contentment.
As to the second, if Contentment is translated to mean Worldly Success — just to conquer all competition, overcome every obstacle, make more $$$, get more stuff, and not see any purpose to it all (e.g. to enhance one’s domain for the glory of God; to provide an environment in which others can find peace and be sanctified; to become an inspiration and role model to others) — that is also NOT the true meaning of Contentment.
Contentment and Mission
For Men, Contentment is always linked to one’s MISSION. A man’s Mission is how he is going to emulate Christ in his own personal way and thereby make Christ known within his sphere of influence. It is unique for each man.
A man’s MISSION must be combined with his PURPOSE in life — finding the place that God has put him in — his legacy — creating influence and drawing respect — through competency, achievements, growth — so that he may use that influence to glorify God and make Christ known. This essentially boils down to a man’s WORK for the Kingdom.
A man’s Mission may or may not coincide with his Career. Jesus was a carpenter, Matthew was a tax collector, and Paul was a tentmaker, but that was not their Mission. But if a man’s Mission overlaps his Career, then he is greatly blessed. Jesus grew up in the Temple, Matthew could read and write, and Paul was trained to be a Pharisee – thus garnering experiences and skills which helped them fulfill their Mission.
Case Study 1 – Career = Mission
A married female reader shared with me that her husband’s brother is a doctor. He told her sons that his mission in life was clearly defined. He said, for most of his education and career, he felt like he was traveling on a highway with signs giving directions at regular intervals. He now works as a missionary doctor in India. Even though he does not make much money, barely enough to live on, he has an immense sense of peace and Contentment about his work.
He also knew what kind of wife he needed. She needed to be faithful, responsible, intelligent, and able to live without very much attention or oversight. Eventually he found one, but it took her a while to learn how to be the wife of a doctor.
Facing Uncertainty
Many if not most men do not have a clear path in life. The way forward is not so evident. For some, God only reveals the next step.
A Biblical example of this type would be Joseph, the son of Jacob. He had a clear dream about where he would end up. He did not have any idea of what he would have to go through to get there, and this was probably for his own psychological good. Another example is Moses. He did not realize that going to the Promised Land would take 40 years of wandering in the wilderness, but he had daily manna as his provision.
Thy Word is a light unto my feet and a lamp unto my path.
Psalms 119:105 (KJV)
The light does not show the whole path. Just where to place your feet next. Men who are in this type of situation need to accept that this is just God’s way of working in their lives, and that it is a fundamentally different way from those men who have a clear vision. Men in this situation may find it more challenging to attain Contentment, as the daily challenges are often dissatisfying and repletion only comes after many years of travail.
Case Study 2 – Climbing the Cliff
In the same email, the lady stated that, unlike his brother’s, the path was not so clear for her husband. She said at the time they met, he only knew some generalities. He knew a life staring at a computer monitor sipping coffee was not for him. He wanted to start a business and he wanted to mentor younger men. He was not at all clear on his Mission and how it would work out. But he did know what he was NOT cut out for, and he knew what kind of wife he needed. Figuring out the rest has been a step by step journey.
He was not on a highway as his brother described, but more like climbing a cliff wall. There was no clear cut direction — just up or down!!! He could only feel his way to the next ledge, and if there was no ledge, he had to drive a spike to support himself.
Even for many years after they married, he was still on the climbing wall, feeling his way up. He had some setbacks along the way, but he kept climbing. She felt uneasy about the financial insecurity and future uncertainty this created, but she decided early on that she must trust in the Lord more than in her husband’s income. Now, they are rather well off.
Conclusions
In summary, attaining Contentment involves avoiding complacency and agentically choosing to submit one’s self to God as opposed to pursuing self-interest or worldly things. In the next post, The Path to Contentment (2023/1/18), I will describe the details of how this works.
Related
- Radix Fidem: The Simple Life (2010/9/30)
