One of my favorite nights is Sunday night when Jennifer cuts my hair. Admittedly there’s not a lot of it left – at least not on my head anyway, now that I’m a little older… I… I have to do things that I don’t want to talk about. So anyway rather than do some stupid comb over deal, we just clipper it all off very short each week. She was nervous at first about it, but it’s basically impossible to screw it up. Clippers, my head, neeeerrrroooowwww….I don’t know exactly why it’s so nice. Maybe it’s some sort of grooming hold over from well before even The Time Before Writing and it’s some sort of primate thing happening. Maybe it’s just nice to be pampered a little. Maybe it’s because she’s serving me. Maybe it’s just the physical sensation and touch. Maybe it’s because I just like to look better. Maybe it’s because from when I was 14 to 17 I had a young cute and very busty hairdresser who used to take a very long time to cut my hair and always ended up somehow rubbing her boobs on my shoulders and upper back as she cut my hair. Seriously I have no clue.
Jennifer on the other hand gets to indulge in that favorite female fantasy of making her man over to look better. Maybe it’s some sort of primate grooming thing on her end too. Plus she gets to tend to the magnificence of me. (I don’t believe it’s possible to be too confident).
So anyway, we both have no clue why this works for us. Somehow it’s very intimate.
So anyway, when you ask her to do this for you, I suggest you frame it this way…
“Honey, I’ve decided that there’s something I want to do and I really want to be able to do it with you. But if you don’t want to do it, I’ll understand and still love you, just understand that I’ve decided I’ll have to see someone else and have them do it. I do love you and aren’t looking for a relationship with anyone else or anything like that. I’ll probably just find someone willing to be paid to do it and not get involved.”
Remember to be smiling a very naughty boy smile as you do this, be playful NOT serious in tone. If you think you’re going to blow it, at least hold the clippers in your hand or be in the store looking at the box or something as a defense prop. So anyway, then you spring that you are in fact looking for a haircut rather than some sort of kinky sex act.
The closing joke line is…
“I mean I could do it myself, but it’s just not the same”.
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