The Alpha approach is to simply not give a damn about her orgasm or sexual pleasure. It’s simply about getting her to do want you want her to do to maximise your pleasure.
The Beta approach is to do whatever it takes to make her orgasm and be sexually pleased.
With the Alpha approach you can sometimes get into that eyes glazed over zone where the fact that you’re married is of no consequence. You’re just banging a chick. She just happens to be your wife.
With the Beta approach you can get real pleasure from her pleasure. It can be it’s own little power trip in that you made her orgasm.
Lacking one or the other approaches ultimately becomes a turn off for her. All Alpha all the time and after a while she starts wondering when it’s ever going to be her turn. All Beta all the time and she starts feeling like the bed is a stage and she has to perform for you.
So as always, the solution is if you’re too Alpha add Beta and if you’re too Beta add Alpha. It’s also not always possible to really hit both angles in a single sexual session, so don’t worry about that. It’s about the generalized balance over the long term.
But seeing the majority of readers likely live too much towards the Beta end of the scale… don’t neglect just treating her like a piece of ass once in a while. If she says she’s too tired or whatever, but it’s not really much of a strong no, try telling her “well I only need you for five minutes, so why don’t you go get ready”. Hold the eye contact and use that naughty boy smile.
If she agrees, then only make it last five minutes. Thank her and do a long deep kiss… then go do something else.
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