I have a lot of female readers and some of them just love what I’m saying on the blog. And by love me I mean they get a little moist down below and they want their husbands to magically transform into the alpha beta hybrid I suggest. Then they throw this blog under their husband’s nose and generally beg him to start making changes.
It’s usually just a way of nagging him. Why won’t you go do this for me? Why can’t you just do that? I need you to blah blah blah. Why don’t you read Married Man Sex Life like I ask you to wah wah wah, Athol Kay is a very smart man and I chew through C batteries just thinking about him and if you did just some of what he said I might be happy in this relationship it’s all so easy he spells it out like a road map and you won’t ask for directions and I’m starting to think my mother was right about you and I’m not attracted to you anymore and you’re breaking my heart with all this.
So how is that working for you ladies?
It’s not working at all, is it.
So here’s my question to the wives that want the changes in their husband towards my alpha / beta hybrid.
Are you even reading the blog yourself?
Maybe you are the one that needs to learn the message of my blog.
You can’t really change him.
You can change you, and that change in you can cause changes in him.
Your relationship is becoming increasingly intolerable and you are talking to him about that, but you are taking no real action that makes it seem like the relationship really is becoming intolerable.
If your relationship was becoming really intolerable, you would be taking some kind of action towards addressing that which you find intolerable. Failing a positive response to what you addressed, then creating an exit plan to leave the relationship.
As an example – if the lack of him helping with chores was really intolerable like you say it is, you wouldn’t just follow him around the house bitching about it (talking) and still cleaning up after him (action). Your action is saying “it’s tolerable”. At some point you have to stop enabling the entire situation by your actions, and simply let whatever he didn’t do just pile up in a heap. That action says “I’m not going to do your work for you”.
You threatening divorce and yelling is just talk. You suddenly losing 30 pounds, dressing better and just starting to go to a mysterious place called “out”… that’s action.
Sending your husband to the blog is a good idea when he needs ideas, understanding and confidence. But if he already knows what he should be doing and the blog is just a secondary nagging system, it’s really not going to help.
Change you.
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