Athol, I’m digging your premise about being a mix of alpha and beta. Do you have any tips on how you know when you’re leaning too beta and need to up the alpha, or vice versa? Like different behaviors your woman will exhibit during times when you’re being too alpha or too beta.

You have a slight but critical misunderstanding on the Alpha / Beta thing, but this is a great question.

Being Alpha is good, you can’t be “too Alpha”. Women simply don’t look at a guy and complain that he’s too powerful and sexy for them and reject him for it. They just get wetter and wetter thinking about him the more Alpha he is.

Being Beta is good, you can’t be “too Beta”. Women utterly love comfort, safety and pampering. Women don’t typically complain that the pillows are too soft, the food too delicious, the wine too delightful and the sounds of their children’s laughter just unbearably adorable. They never complain that there is too much money either.

However, what does very much cause you problems is lacking either Alpha or Beta Traits.

If you’re not enough Alpha, she’s going to start losing sexual interest in you and probably start becoming more bossy and fitness testing you. Her sexual interest can reduce in you. Ultimately she can start to seek the Alpha need outside the relationship and head down the path towards a physical affair or ending the relationship. Trying to solve this problem by adding more and more Beta goodness is futile and probably increasingly expensive.

If you’re not enough Beta, she’s going to start to intensify her efforts to get a Beta response from you and seek comfort building. Usually it’s something like requests for greater indications of commitment or expressions of love from you. Ultimately she can start to seek the need for comfort outside the relationship and head down towards the path for an emotional affair or ending the relationship. If the problem is that she’s feeling ignored, taken for granted, unloved, or just a piece of ass to you, You upping the Alpha and playing it cool towards her doesn’t fix the need for comfort in need in her.

Also Alpha and Beta is not an either/or proposition, nor is it truely a “balance” thing either other than as a time management sort of issue. Lets face it, no one has limitless time to spend on their spouse, you can’t do everything a man could do without a clone army helping you out. You do have to make some choices along the way to do this and not that. Alpha and Beta are two distinct traits that can be displayed with or without each other. There is a very common pattern of men giving up Alpha Traits and gaining Beta Traits generally called Betaization, but that is best understood as two separate effects clustered together, rather than a single effect.

So it’s not like this…

    Too Beta {———————————————————-} Too Alpha

But it is like this…

No Alpha {———————————————————-} Alpha
No Beta  {———————————————————-} Beta

In general though, whatever is your weakest Trait is the one that you need to work on first, because it’s the lack of a Trait that does you in. For most men that means they need to work on the Alpha Trait.

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