Jennifer Answers Some Questions

I know, right?! It is possible! It is a rare thing for us to not do “something” every day…and it doesn’t have to be full on intercourse to count as “something”. A hand job, a blow job, a massage with benefits…we’re still having that time of closeness and connection to each other at the end of the day. We do have actual intercourse more often than anything else, but frankly sometimes the girly parts need a night off and I’m happy to cater to what Athol wants.

Yep, intense is a good word to use. It helps that he’s just so interested in sex in general, and I’m the go-to girl! We have had times where we’ve had “the talk” about me stepping it up in one way or another, and I do my best to listen to suggestions and play along with enthusiasm. I have to consciously think about mixing it up sometimes because I’m so happy with anything that happens…I have to remember that he needs more variety and intensity than I do sometimes.

I like that I get editorial power before anything gets posted. It also helps that I will never actually meet most of his readers face to face. There are a very few times that I have asked him to edit more racy paragraphs down to something that doesn’t make me blush, and he respects my privacy in that way. That all being said, I’m not running around my office at work saying, “Hey guys, did you read last night’s post about what a fabulous weekend I had banging my husband?!” I believe very strongly that he has good things to say that can help people and that if using examples from our life helps someone, then it’s all good.

I am okay with the male dominance thing as described by Athol…which is to say that male dominance does not mean that I don’t have a brain, or don’t have the ability to manage my own life or my children’s lives…just that I like him to take the lead in some things. Dominance can have some negative connotations…the way we live it there are no negative connotations- we’re not talking chains and disrespect, we’re talking someone being the natural leader and someone being the natural follower. When the situation calls for it I’m perfectly capable of being the leader and can enjoy it to a point, but especially in our sex life I’m more of a natural follower.

Athol just told me, “You have to go read the comments…people are worried about you!” Thank you for your concern, but maybe you’re misunderstanding the tone of me having a “night off”. This is just our catch phrase, not me feeling like sex is my wifely “job”. (easier to talk about it in front of the kiddies if you can use the phrase “night off” and know what the other person means) True, our default setting is “yes, sex please”, but that’s the default for both of us. I enjoy our sex life, and if I’m not in the mood for something he doesn’t push me. Also, not every night is blog-worthy…sometimes it’s just “a quickie” and that’s okay. He will initiate and suggest, but not push. It’s no fun to have sex with someone who isn’t into it.

I have very few insecurities as far as Athol cheating on me or leaving me. I know that there is never a 100% guarantee for any human being, but it comes down to trust. I trust that he is going to “use his powers for good” so to speak. He didn’t delve into this area of research and writing in order to find a way to cheat on me or dump me, he did it in order to understand marriage better, and to make our marriage better. He doesn’t go around hitting on other women randomly, and his friendly, occasionally flirtatious nature is one of the things I enjoy about him. Besides, he knows I’d kick his butt if he tried to leave (okay, so maybe I’d have my hired goon kick his butt…)

Athol - Actually I think Jennifer is being generous on the final question. I obviously have a very high sex drive and struggle with fidelity at times in a general sense, so my research into the subject wasn’t from a perfectly saintly perspective. However, I do look into everything and the aftermath of cheating is utterly appalling; Jennifer simply doesn’t deserve that and I cannot say she hasn’t made herself available to me. If not “banging everyone” is a cost of being married to her, it’s a cost I’m okay with. We do have an ongoing sexual imbalance, but she’s doing her part, so what remains is my problem to deal with. In no small part, the purpose of the blog is to give me an outlet for some of my excess sexual energy. Marriage is about reality and I know I have more than a good thing in her. She trusts me more than I trust myself and I want to live up to that. If I lost her from my own stupidity, I doubt I would ever stop mourning.