A comment by MGirl on Girl Game: Husband Management
Anon-I had the same problem with my husband. My sex drive was through the roof, but I was extremely unattracted to him. I suggested he read this blog(he didn’t), so I got blunt. I told him I was tired of having to fantasize about other men. I told him I was finding myself looking at other men and wanting them. I told him I wanted sex, but not with him. I wasn’t considering, or even threatening cheating, BTW, but I was honest about how I felt. And boy did he perk up then. He started working out regularly, went to go buy new clothing, got his hair cut, and regularly asks me what he can do to increase my attraction to him. My approach was a bit aggressive, maybe, but I was desperate and couldn’t see any other option. And it worked!
This is dead on.
The husband should thank his lucky stars for his choice of wife. Plenty of other women would have simply thrown up their hands and cheated on him or divorced him.
A fair warning is a real gift. But you do have to spell it out clearly and carefully. Asking him to do at least something for creating attraction is a reasonable request.
If you’re a husband and you get one of these little talks, or your wife sends you to read here, or hands you my book…that’s your sign things need to start changing.
Attraction isn’t a choice. As I cover in the Introduction of The Primer, she can’t will herself to be attracted to you and have sex with you the way you want her to. But you can will yourself to self improve in ways that will create attraction in her for you.

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