The Main Complaint About Monogamy Is That It Works

I got a long reader email that has far too many identifying marks to edit, so the short version is he is trying to decide whether or not to marry his girlfriend of 2.5 years. By his account she is wife material and a good match for him. Her sex drive seems higher than his, but the main stumbling point is he’s cheated on her 3-4 times and gotten away with it already, and just can’t get past the idea of getting married and not getting a little something on the side once in a while. After all, per evolutionary psychology, that’s how men are wired. Right?

Athol: There’s not a perfect solution to choose.

You are correct that monogamy isn’t natural and that men and women are biologically wired to have a primary partner and opportunistic sex with others. However much of our modern society isn’t natural. Democracy isn’t natural, nor is capitalism, or education, the rule of law, hospitals, flushing toilets and plentiful food. (Autotuned pop music isn’t natural either, so that I guess slightly ruins the point I’m making because let’s face it, autotune is awful.)