Sexy Move: Rough Sex

One of the things that many women like is rough sex. If that makes you squeamish it might make you feel better to think of it as “very firm thrusting sex”. It probably won’t turn you or her on, but it might make you feel better.

In part the enjoyment of rough sex comes from the intensity of the experience. Tons of people go to amusement parks year after year to ride the big roller coasters. By all accounts riding a roller coaster is roughly akin to the physical stresses of getting bump drafted off the Interstate and punching through a badly constructed retaining wall before stopping in someone’s front yard. But in the context of being on a roller coaster, that same physical intensity is experienced as fun. It’s similar during rough sex.

Also there is the element of physical dominance that sexually excites many women. This is fairly well evident by the content of romance novels – the leading male is very likely not a 5’3″ unattached marriage counselor who saves the day with his communication and problem solving skills. I believe “tall dark and handsome” was the criteria the ladies go for, though I suspect that is just girly girl code for “toned buttocks”. There’s the whole sweeping her off her feet thing. The powerless to resist thing. The pull my hair and spank my ass thing. The take me thing. The shut up and just fuck me thing.

Many women fantasize about being forced as a sexual turn on, but in no way wish to be raped in reality.

In short, what many women want is to ride the sexual roller coaster with a partner they are attracted to. They want it fast, firm, strong, exciting, a little scary and seemingly on the edge of out of control, but somehow magically safe and consensual. Maybe not every time, but at least once in a while.

An simple and safe starting point for that is in upping the intensity of the thrusting in the missionary position. Most women very much like the missionary position for the feeling of being pinned under their man already. Man on top is a naturally dominant position already, all we’re doing here is turning up the in and out into a pounding.

Now rather than go into all the little tricks that might work to make it seem rougher or more dominant – like using you knees to spread her legs further apart etc, most guys find there is one huge problem at performing this sort of rougher sex… they come way too fast. It’s terribly anti-climatic to play the whole bad boy I’m gonna pound your pussy routine before sex and then 15-20 seconds into bodies slapping suddenly getting your O face on. It can be just too stimulating to the guy.

For myself I have pretty good control and can do “fairly firm” sex at will. But to aim for a long very rough session at night I usually plan to have an orgasm that morning. The only downside to unloading the gun in the morning is come bedtime I may need a little more stimulation to get the old blood pressure up properly. Though the solutions for that is to simply be a little demanding about her doing stuff to me… stroke it, suck it, get over here on me, like that baby. We usually get her off as much as she likes before intercourse.

After that… buckle up sweetheart.

Also it’s important not to be scared about hurting her. Stopping halfway through to ask “are you okay, am I hurting you?” is going to kill any enjoyment she is getting from being pounded on. If she does get hurt most people say something like “ow!” as a clear sign of distress and you need to back that off immediately. Remember that… “ow!” = bad. Usually it’s because you’ve got your hand on her hair or something though. Otherwise it is extremely doubtful that anything other than mega porn cocks are going to injure the place designed to handle birthing 8 pound babies. She may feel a little tender down there the next day, but that’s usually all part of the appeal. It’s called feeling well fucked. They like that.