I’ve been getting some general concern that I’m shooting myself in the foot by using politically incorrect words like “dominance” and “submission”. I’ve also reached into the grab bag of f-bombs and slang to describe the lady bits. The thought being if I just eased up a little, I would start appealing to women more.
Ahhhh…. no.
I write about the appeal of the Bad Boy tempered by the Nice Guy. Thus MMSL is written with a mix of Bad Boy and Nice Guy. As soon as I start toning it down and start trying to appeal to women by writing like a Nice Guy, my female readership will start drifting away. Slightly more than half of MMSL’s readership is female already, so consider that to be the best evidence I have.
I write about how women like rough sex (if only some of the time). Seriously now, how does one talk about hair pulling, spanking and pounding her in the sack with politically correct flowery language? Exactly… you can’t. Words like “dominance” and “submission” are loaded with erotic capital.
Here, read this from a comment from yesterday…
For years I struggled to communicate what I wanted from my husband because I was using the wrong d$&@ word! Maybe I was just dancing around the idea when I would say ” I want you to show me who’s boss”, or “I need to feel your strength”. I have to say that I, for years, thought that I was broken for wanting this and thought that using the word dominant, in my mind, would only tell him just how broken I was, highlighting how far off I was from the ideal, independent woman. It was so lonely to want something so badly that would only prove how unworthy I was. I finally ran across takeninhand and then MMSL. That’s where I found the courage to finally tell him that I wanted to be dominated (especially in bed). I could not believe his response. He said “Well why didn’t you just say so?”. I broke down crying, telling him that I’d been trying for 20 years. Yes, I learned, word choice matters.
You can’t nice your way to primal sexuality. Women aren’t turned on by the nice, they are turned on by the edge. I’m not saying that you suddenly have to start up with the sailor talk, but if your language is falling all over itself to not offend, it’s basically neutering you. You’re a man. Say what you think. Don’t say what you think you should say.
Women are okay with a little smut. Seriously now, 50 Shades of Grey is flying off the shelves into the hands of a lot of hot and bothered women. Yeah baby. A man who can talk about sex with confidence and a little bit of an edge is telegraphing his ability to be good in bed to everyone around him. It’s an easy instigation move. It’s sexy.
For example, if you can’t even say the word “vagina” without worrying about collapsing from a panic attack, that’s pretty bad. Saying “down there” is a cop-out too. “Down there” is where you ain’t going.
So here’s the plan, I want you to out loud, strongly and firmly say the word “Pushy.” I know it sounds strange, just do it. Get used to the word and say it until it feels relaxed and casual when you say it. Pushy, Pushy, Pushy.
Say it like this lol…
Jennifer: He’s just like this in real life. Laughing to himself as he wrote the Sean Connery thing. (And yes, I do think Sean Connery is hot…I’m all for the foreign accents, baby.)
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