David DeAngelo was an early and influential figure in the ‘pick-up movement’ who popularized the “Cocky Funny” style.
This page brings together TPM’s analysis of David DeAngelo, two of his products — Advanced Dating Techniques and Sexual Communication — and the effectiveness of his work and approach.
Contents
Who Is David DeAngelo?
David DeAngelo is the pen name of Eben Pagan, arguably the “Godfather” of modern commercialized dating advice. Before the market was flooded with generic “life coaches,” DeAngelo’s Double Your Dating was the first to bridge the gap between niche PUA (Pickup Artist) movement and mass-market dating advice and self-help.
DeAngelo’s main contributions include:
- Double Your Dating, a popular dating program turned into a website, catchphrase and brand, and probably the biggest-selling PUA-inspired product
- Cocky Funny, a style based on high confidence and teasing. Compared to early PU canned lines, gimmicks, and ‘magic tricks’ Cocky Funny was revolutionary: simpler, more natural, and higher power all at once
- Attraction is not a choice, a mantra-quote suggesting that attraction is involuntary and subconscious, not something you can negotiate rationally or that she can decide whether to have or not have. It also means: become an attractive man, and women’s attraction becomes automatic
The Marketing Genius
DeAngelo’s story is a classic case of a smart marketer turning a movement into a business opportunity.
As Eben Pagan, he was a real estate and marketing professional. He seemingly first entered the PUA niche for learning and free contributions in the sosuave.net forum together with folks like Mystery and Neil Strauss.
DeAngelo came up with “Cocky & Funny”, a principle he associated with his name and which gave him credibility, and then stopped posting and started selling instead.
He applied marketing principles—scarcity, branding, and psychological triggers—in a new blue ocean market with lots of interested men, but few teachers. And he reaped the benefits creating a high-turnover business.
Cocky & Funny (C&F)
This is DeAngelo’s signature idea and still the most memorable part of his work, balancing arrogance and humor.
- The logic: “Nice guys” over-invest and signal low value. “Assholes” under-invest but push others away
- Why it works: cockiness signals power, while funny makes you social and draws people in
- How to do it: get in a ‘let’s have a good time’ mood. Be playful, lightly teasing, and self-assured. Do not overexplain yourself if she asks for clarification, and instead lean into sexual tension
- Push-pull technique: pull-pull is a specific form of ‘cocky-funny’, consisting of giving a compliment but ‘taking it away’. For example, ‘I like you, you’re good fun. But you’re too much trouble’
C&F is a playful form of our ‘power and warmth model‘. By being “cocky,” you signal confidence, high status, and a lack of neediness. By being “funny” you take some of the edge off and become more engaging and relatable.
Reading Compliance
It also works as a compliance test.
By teasing a woman, you are checking if she will accept your frame and leadership:
- ✅ She laughs = she accepts your leadership
- 🟢 Teases back = high confidence woman, doesn’t yet see you as ‘above her’, but you’re in the game
- 🟠 She pushes back = she doesn’t see you as ‘above her’ yet. But you’re still in the game and with good skills you can turn it around
- 🔴 She gets offended = you overdid it and must learn proper calibration. It’s still salvageable, but it requires advanced skills to walk back, without losing power
Limitations of Cocky-Funny
Cocky funny is most suitable in high-energy and/or hangout places. Think parties, night venues, but potentially also social circles.
It can also work in chiller contexts like day game, of course, but in daytime you must eventually snap out of cocky funny mode and present yourself as a real human being. Even if you’re ‘successful’, if all you provide is a mood boost and she walks out thinking ‘that guy is funny’ but nothing else, chances are that you won’t see her again.
High-value women don’t meet ‘funny guys’ they haven’t bonded with.
This also links to the main risk of cocky funny. Cocky funny often requires more, especially solid foundations. If on a date, it also requires some bonding and connection.
Finally, the concept can also be taken too far, turning into high-energy ‘jestering’ that undermines power and masculinity.
Read more:
- When high energy undermines attraction: don’t become a jester
DeAngelo Reviews
DeAngelo’s principles of not chasing, going out and meeting women, and progressing interactions forward are all valid.
At the level of personal authority, DeAngelo looked more like a smart marketer than a man who embodied top-tier seduction outcomes. Although his contribution were valuable in the budding PUA movement, his biggest edge was packaging attraction principles into a scalable business.
As for his products, we reviewed some of his work some years ago and we’ll share our takes here.
The programs have disappeared since
Since we first released our reviews, DeAngelo programs have been removed. This may be due to lower demand over time.
Review: Advanced Dating Techniques
Advanced Dating Techniques is David DeAngelo ultimate and most advanced dating program, aiming to build attraction, move interactions forward, and signal high value.
The central ideas are still valid: confidence matters, chasing undermines aggression, and supplicating men turn women off.
A large portion of the program is dedicated to ‘inner game’ or the mental aspects of self-development. But he also shares some advice on approaching women, being a ‘good asshole‘, and gaining status with sub-communication and body language.
The problem is that the material is more basic than ‘advanced’, lacking how-tos, real-life examples, and deeper frameworks. For example, the advice of ‘not stopping the behavior she reprimands right away’ is about displaying power and not being controlled. But it lacks a deeper framework that could help men internalize the concept and apply it in all other areas of both dating and life.
It also missed decades of development and doesn’t fully leverage research.
It’s more like random DeAngelo talks than a true dating system that drives results.
Review: Sexual Communication
Sexual Communication is another David DeAngelo program, focused on flirtatious communication and sexual tension.
The core idea is that normal communication rules get reversed in dating. Instead of being nice, explanatory, or compliant, a man should lead, tease, stay selective, and build tension.
There are four steps:
- Directness: Stop hiding intent and be more assertive
- Psychological Arousal: Using “future pacing” and suggestive language to jiggle the target’s imagination
- Physical Escalation: Touch women appropriately and early on to get used to your physical presence. Use the “Two Steps Forward, One Step Back” approach for escalation.
See sexual escalation - Handling Resistance: Don’t get discouraged by initial rejection, and build comfort instead. See ‘handling resistance’
DeAngelo goes through a few core concepts like displaying high power, passing women’s tests, and his trademark ‘cocky funny’.
While there are valid insights, we frankly found the program fluffy and disorganized, with a few decent examples but too much filler around them (and some less than stellar examples).
Is David DeAngelo Still Worth Studying?
If you’re looking for high ROI, there is better material to help you succeed in dating.
DeAngelo deserves credit for helping men move away from desperate pursuit and from silly, jester-like early PUA tactics like carrying pictures and doing magic tricks.
He was revolutionary back then, but what’s revolutionary in the early days of a new movement often becomes outdated as the discipline moves forward.
But most men today can benefit from better programs that are high-power, more masculine, and ultimately more effective.
For men who want a more complete and updated framework, you can look into Seduction University, a more structured and practical program aligned with a modern understanding of attraction, social dynamics, and what works with attractive women.
